Internal conflict: types, causes, solutions. Internal conflict: what it is and how to deal with it (nuances of understanding and the possibility of overcoming) What causes internal conflict

Internal conflicts have been studied by a huge number of psychologists, including Sigmund Freud, who was the first to point out the essence of this condition. It lies in constant tension associated with a huge number of contradictions around a person: social, cultural, drives, desires.

Types of intrapersonal conflicts

There are six main groups of internal conflicts that overtake each of us from time to time.

1. Motivational – a clash of different motives.
2. Moral is the clash of our desires and responsibilities. Very often it arises as a result of a discrepancy between our desires and the requirements of our parents or environment.
3. Unrealization or inferiority complex. This type of internal conflict occurs when your desires do not turn into reality. This often includes dissatisfaction with one's appearance or abilities.
4. Inter-role conflict occurs when a person takes on two roles and cannot determine which of them is more acceptable to him. For example, a woman is a careerist or a mother.
5. An adaptation conflict arises if the requirements for the surrounding world do not correspond to the possibilities. Often found in the professional sphere.
6. Inadequate self-esteem arises as a result of discrepancies between one’s personal aspirations and the assessment of capabilities.

Causes of intrapersonal conflict

As we already said, internal conflict is a normal human process that develops. In fact, this is the result of constant search for oneself, the struggle for a certain place in life. But if they are not addressed in time, they can lead a person into a complete existential vacuum, which is akin to a feeling of emptiness and abandonment. This condition can result in a serious disorder, which is characterized by the belief in the absolute absence of meaning in life.

Among the most common reasons: contradiction, different aspirations, multiple desires and difficulty in determining priorities. These are contradictions in the sphere of interests, goals, motives. Lack of opportunities to realize anything, and at the same time the inability to ignore your desire. This is a special manifestation of a completely normal interaction between various components of a person’s personality.

It is interesting that internal conflict arises only when two equal forces press on a person. If one of them is not equally important as the second, we choose the most optimal option and avoid conflict.

How to resolve internal conflict?

Despite the fact that internal conflicts are a normal state of a developing person, they must be resolved or tried to be prevented. There are specific techniques for this. We will give you some tips that will help you understand the problem and begin to resolve it.

Start by knowing yourself. It is very important to specifically understand all your pros and cons. In this way, in your own eyes you will become a completely defined, complete person.

Analyze your mistakes and shortcomings in terms of obstacles to achieving your potential. Often a person is concentrated in a huge number of factors that hinder his development:

• Habit of passing on responsibility
• Faith in others, but not in yourself
• Hypocrisy has become a habit
• Lack of willingness to pursue and defend one’s happiness
• Independent dulling of one’s strength, which stimulates development
• Preoccupation with the secondary and unimportant

A person’s experience of his own ambiguity, the complexity of his inner world, awareness of variability own desires and claims, often the impossibility of their implementation, fluctuations in self-esteem, the struggle of motives - all this is a field of intrapersonal conflicts. However, there are conditions that contribute to their occurrence. Let's look at them in more detail.

It is generally accepted that intrapersonal conflicts cannot arise without the influence of the environment, including the social one, on the personality. “Pure” ones that arise only for a reason internal actions, there are no intrapersonal conflicts. They can be divided into two groups based on the nature of the contradictions underlying the conflict.

* arising as a result of the transition of objective contradictions external to a person into inner world(moral conflicts, adaptation, etc.);

* arising from contradictions in the inner world of the individual (motivational conflicts, conflict of inadequate self-esteem), which reflect the individual’s attitude to the environment.

E. Donchenko and T. Titarenko identify three levels of development of psychological contradiction:

* psychological balance of the inner world of the individual;

* imbalance, complication, difficulty in basic activities, projection of psychological discomfort onto work, communication with others (intrapersonal conflict);

* impossibility of implementing plans and programs, “gap in life”, inability to fulfill one’s vital functions until the contradiction (life crisis) is resolved. Dmitriev A.V. Conflictology. - M.: Gardariki, 2000.- p. 69.

At each of these levels it is possible to resolve the contradiction. This possibility depends on what a person needs for normal life and what needs are at risk of being denied. It may also be that a person never reaches an intrapersonal conflict, devoting his entire life to satisfying basic needs, living according to the scheme: we eat, we can sleep, we sleep, we can eat. But often the contradiction develops further and develops into an internal conflict. Why is this happening?

It turns out that in order for an intrapersonal conflict to arise, the presence of personal and situational conditions must be present.

Personal conditions usually include the presence of the following in an individual:

* complex inner world and actualization of this complexity;

* complex and developed hierarchy of needs and motives;

* high level development of feelings and values;

* complexly organized and developed cognitive structure, the individual’s ability for introspection and self-reflection. Situational conditions that make intrapersonal conflict relevant have been studied in the works of V. Merlin. These conditions are external and internal.

* The external conditions of the conflict come down to the fact that the satisfaction of any deep and active motives and relationships of the individual becomes completely impossible or is under threat: already in the struggle with nature, difficulties and obstacles arise to satisfy the motives and relationships of the individual; the satisfaction of some motives inevitably gives rise to the emergence of new, not yet satisfied motives; social life requires restriction of various motives, sometimes very deep, for example, the desire to preserve life.

Internal conflict arises only when external circumstances give rise to certain internal conditions.

* The internal conditions of the conflict come down to the contradiction between different sides of the personality: these sides must be significant; they should have approximately equal significance for the individual; the individual is aware of the subjective insolubility of the situation. Conflict arises when a person feels that he is unable to change the situation. As a result, a person acutely experiences the situation of choice and becomes emotionally immersed in it.

Experience is a form of personal activity in which a contradiction is realized and the process of its resolution is underway at the subjective level. Experience is an emotionally charged state of the individual. Among the changing characteristics of the subject, attributed to variable states, activation and emotional characteristics are often distinguished.

Activation characteristics reflect physiological availability mental state. Along with the activation ones, they often turn to the emotional components of the mental state. For a long time, the state in psychology was studied specifically as an emotional state, with which the presence of certain experiences is usually identified. The traditional nature of identifying the emotional characteristics of a state is due to the fact that it is they who give the mental state subjective certainty, thereby making it a phenomenon accessible to direct study.

In an intrapersonal conflict, the emotional component is represented by psycho-emotional tension. It is usually classified as an emotional phenomenon. Psycho-emotional tension is a form of representation in the human psyche of the personal meaning of events occurring in his life and reflects the degree of satisfaction of his needs. Psycho-emotional stress is characterized by subjective quality (modality) and substantive content.

In terms of subjective quality, psycho-emotional stress, like other emotions that arise in a situation of unmet needs, is a negative emotional experience. It includes such modalities of emotions as dissatisfaction, irritation, depression, anxiety, discomfort, etc. Unfavorable emotional state can affect physiological processes in the human body and contribute to the development of many chronic diseases.

The substantive content of psycho-emotional stress consists of situations, conditions and events that occur in a person’s life and are perceived by him as an obstacle to the satisfaction of needs. This is usually difficult situations activities, social interaction and the inner life of a person.

F. Vasilyuk considers experience as a special internal activity, internal work, with the help of which a person manages to endure certain... life events.... restore lost mental balance, in a word, cope with a critical situation.

There are two subtypes of value experience. The first of them is realized when the subject has not yet reached the highest stages of value improvement, and is accompanied by a change in his value-motivational system. There may be cases when motives that do not correspond to values ​​are rejected by consciousness on principle or are simply reduced in hierarchical rank, losing their significance.

Value experiences of the second subtype are possible at the highest stages of development of value consciousness. Here the value does not belong to the personality, but, on the contrary, the personality turns out to be part of the value that embraces it, belongs to it and in it finds the meaning of its life. Gromova O.N. Conflictology.-M.: Association of Authors and Publishers “Tan-dem”, EKMOS, 2000. - p. 37.

Thus, the experience of intrapersonal conflict differs from other types of experiences in that: it is usually presented as psycho-emotional tension; it expresses the individual’s awareness of the difficulty of a given situation; expresses the process of choice, doubt and struggle; reflects the restructuring of the value-motivational system of the individual.

Intrapersonal conflict can have positive and negative consequences. Intrapersonal conflicts can be constructive (productive, optimal) and destructive (destroying a person’s personal structures).

Constructive is a conflict that is characterized by maximum development of conflicting structures and minimal personal costs for its resolution. Constructively overcome intrapersonal conflict is one of the mechanisms for harmonizing personal development.

Psychologists V. Afonkova, L. Bozhovich, analyzing early periods child development, note that internal conflicts complicate mental life and contribute to its transition to new levels of functioning.

Optimal intrapersonal conflict is considered as the basis of moral development. At the heart of committing a moral act is a “sick conscience,” which encourages a person to act contrary to his own benefit and rise to the highest moral values.

An individual recognizes himself as a person on the basis of resolving intrapersonal contradictions and conflicts. The characteristics of a person lie in the relationship between different systems of existing life relationships, which give rise to struggle between them. According to psychologist A.N. Leontyev, sometimes this struggle takes place in outwardly inconspicuous, everyday dramatic, so to speak, forms and does not violate the harmony of the personality, its development; after all, a harmonious personality is not at all a person who does not know any internal struggle. However, sometimes this internal struggle becomes the main thing that determines the entire appearance of a person.

Positively resolved conflicts strengthen character, form determination, stability of behavior, independence from random circumstances, and contribute to the formation of a stable personality orientation. B.C. Merlin believed that psychological conflicts play a significant role in the formation of new character traits and in the radical restructuring of personality.

Intrapersonal conflict can contribute to the formation of adequate self-esteem, which in turn helps self-knowledge and self-realization of the individual.

Intrapersonal conflicts that aggravate split personality are considered destructive and develop into life crises or lead to the development of neurotic reactions.

Prolonged intrapersonal conflict threatens the effectiveness of activities. According to the Russian philosopher N.A. Berdyaev, reflecting and doubting cannot be active in the world, cannot be a warrior - he is completely immersed in the self-division that weakens him, he is not confident in the active, creative force with which he could influence the world... Reflection, division and doubt is a relaxed adaptation to the evil multiplicity of the world of necessity. A state of doubt is a state of lack of freedom, dependence, depression.

Long-term internal conflicts can hinder personal development. According to L.I. Bozhovich, ... a person constantly faced with internal conflicts will be distinguished by uncertainty, instability of behavior, and inability to achieve consciously set goals, i.e., he will lack precisely those traits that are fundamental to the characteristics of a psychologically mature personality.

Frequent intrapersonal conflicts can lead to a person’s loss of self-confidence, the formation of a stable inferiority complex, and sometimes to the loss of the meaning of life.

Acute intrapersonal conflicts, as a rule, lead to the destruction of existing interpersonal relationships in the family and at work. They can cause increased aggressiveness, anxiety, and irritability in communication. Particular attention should be paid to the problem of the development of intrapersonal conflict into neurotic conflict. Experiences inherent in conflict become a source of illness when they occupy a central place in the system of relationships of the individual. A person cannot change the conflict so that the pathogenic tension disappears and a rational way out of the current situation is found. Such a conflict takes a leading place in a person’s life, turns out to be insoluble for him and, as it drags on, creates affective tension that exacerbates contradictions, increases difficulties, increases instability and excitability, deepens and painfully fixes experiences, reduces productivity and self-control. The classification of neurotic conflicts, taking into account the internal mechanisms of their development, was given by V.N. Myasishchev. He describes conflicts of hysterical, obsessive-psychasthenic and neurasthenic types.

The hysterical type is characterized by inflated personal claims combined with an underestimation of objective conditions or the demands of others.

The obsessive-psychasthenic type of neurotic conflict is characterized by contradictory personal needs, the struggle between desire and duty, between moral principles and personal attachments.

The neurasthenic type represents a contradiction between the capabilities of the individual and his inflated demands on himself. When this conflict arises, the high demands imposed by the tension of modern life play a role.

Thus, the neurotic conflict as a personally insoluble problem of “being yourself among others” is refracted by the problem of “being” (the basic level of anxiety in fear neurosis), the problem of “being yourself” (in fear neurosis), the problem of “being yourself among others” (with an emphasis to “be yourself” with hysterical neurosis) or “Be among others” (with neurasthenia).

Emotions

25.12.2016

Snezhana Ivanova

Intrapersonal conflict manifests itself in the fact that a person cannot find balance within himself or the right way to solve troubling problems.

Intrapersonal conflict is a contradictory state of a person, which is characterized by general fatigue, depression, psychological discomfort and powerlessness. Intrapersonal conflict manifests itself in the fact that a person cannot find balance within himself or the right way to solve troubling problems. It seems that he is torn from the inside by a spirit of contradiction: he constantly rushes about in search of a suitable option, but cannot find a way out. What are the causes of this conflict? How is it characterized, what ways are there to resolve it?

Causes of intrapersonal conflicts

Conflict caused by internal contradictions of the individual has its own reasons. It can never appear out of nowhere. There are plenty of reasons for the development of intrapersonal conflict.

Dissatisfaction with life

The first reason for developing a conflict with oneself is a feeling of inner emptiness. A person develops a feeling of some spiritual hopelessness, which is based, most often, on insignificant facts. As a rule, some external circumstances contribute to the development of disbelief in oneself and one’s own capabilities and hinder effective progress. Dissatisfaction with life is the reason why a person often does not try to change anything in his existence. He has a whole series limiting beliefs, such as: “No one loves me”, “No one is interested in me”, “I have no talent, no special gifts”

This results in a reluctance to act at all. An intrapersonal conflict caused by dissatisfaction with life cannot be quickly resolved. A person will need a lot of time and patience in order to realize his own disorder, the lack of free positive energy.

Impossibility of self-realization

Another common reason for the development of intrapersonal conflict is the inability to live according to own rules. Not everyone initially has equal opportunities to fully realize their potential. One person is hindered by external circumstances. Another person finds himself unable to bypass significant obstacles on the way to the goal and therefore gradually loses his bearings. Intrapersonal conflict is a reflection of discord with one’s own essence. When a person cannot understand what is most important for him in life, he experiences significant difficulties With priorities in mind, he finds himself unable to make the right decision.

The impossibility of self-realization is a serious reason that hinders personal growth in general and understanding one’s strengths in particular. If a person is in deep conflict with himself, then it is quite difficult for him to determine his true values. In this case, all prospects are lost, many opportunities are missed that could lead to the most desired result.

Low self-esteem

Often the development of intrapersonal conflict is facilitated by inadequately low self-esteem. For some reason, a person stops believing in his own prospects and capabilities and does not notice his strengths. Typically, low self-esteem is a consequence of improper upbringing, when the influence of parents becomes a kind of directive and does not imply any alternatives. A conflict develops when a person ceases to be aware of what is happening to him and suppresses his natural aspirations and desires. Intrapersonal conflict, as a rule, lasts for several months or even years. During this period, a person must realize what is happening to him, find a way out of the crisis, and outline several ways for him to move forward in the future. If the conflict related to one’s own “I” and self-realization is not resolved in time, a person risks losing the best part of himself and becoming indifferent to everything.

Types of intrapersonal conflicts

Any conflict must be approached as a problem that needs to be solved. Types of intrapersonal conflict show what initially caused the emergence and subsequent formation of a significant contradiction in a person. In relationships with oneself, various conditions are important, with the help of which a person achieves a state of integrity. Unfortunately, harmony can be disrupted by even a minor obstacle on the path of life.

Equivalent type

The conflict is expressed in the desire to preserve for oneself significant conditions of peace of mind and at the same time not to lose an important reference point. Most often, such a collision occurs as a result of the urgent need to make a conscious choice between the past and the present. Conflict forces a person to reconsider his own attitude towards certain conditions of existence. It is aggravated by the fact that there is a need to choose between two equivalent values. A person can sometimes be in thought for a long time, painfully trying to take the right step. As a rule, such a conflict implies that, giving preference to one event, we finally reject another, which is of no less importance.

Vital type

Conflict manifests itself through unpleasant obligations that a person takes on his shoulders at a certain point in life. The vital type is characterized by a loss of interest in one’s own personality and those activities that previously formed a significant basis for existence. It cannot be solved by the usual methods of influencing the problem. A person is forced to spend a long time in an exhausting search before he dares to take a concrete step. As a rule, it is conscious and balanced. Conflict arises because a person has to make a choice between two equally unsatisfying objects. In most cases, people tend to minimize their losses, so they prefer to focus on the lesser evil.

Ambivalent type

This person’s relationship with himself implies that the choice is especially difficult to make. The individual understands how serious the consequences of a wrong step can be and therefore is very afraid of the possibility of making a mistake. An ambivalent situation suggests that the result of actions somehow attracts and, at the same time, repels. In any case, the individual will have to overcome the conflict. A contradictory state does not at all contribute to the development of harmony within a person. If the conflict is not resolved on time, it means that additional suffering will appear due to some hidden internal unrealization.

Frustrating type

Conflict arises as a result of society’s disapproval of specific actions of an individual aimed at obtaining a particular result. The conflict manifests itself through the inability of the individual to do what is of significant interest to him. Freedom of choice is practically non-existent here. A person in a state of severe frustration is necessarily in a struggle with himself. The inability to solve a problem alone eventually leads to conflict with the outside world.

Resolving intrapersonal conflict

Intrapersonal conflict is an extremely dangerous thing. In many ways, it often hinders the development of individuality and the discovery of talents and abilities. A person in such a state often does not notice what is happening to him. Suffering gradually becomes an integral part of his usual existence. Resolving intrapersonal conflict leads to the discovery of a person’s true capabilities and helps to establish relationships with loved ones. Suddenly, significant prospects appear that were previously unnoticed for some reason. What ways of resolving internal conflict can be identified?

Compromise

Achieving a compromise with oneself implies that a person will constantly work on shortcomings and try in every possible way to eradicate them. Many conflicts were resolved through compromise. Find in yourself those traits that seem useful to you. It is these character qualities that you will need to cultivate in yourself to a confident state. The conflict is minimized and will gradually disappear completely.

Awareness of your strengths

Each of us undoubtedly has them. In most cases, a person tends not to notice his own victories and achievements. This approach to life allows him to constantly complain about the lack of opportunities. Meanwhile, opportunities are hidden everywhere, you just need to be able to see them in time. Intrapersonal conflict always reflects a person’s unfair attitude towards himself. Check yourself, are you not belittling your achievements? Recognizing your strengths will help not only resolve the current conflict, but also qualitatively improve your life and bring a lot of bright colors into it. Try to take the position “I am valuable”, then you won’t have to constantly prove your importance to others. Relatives, colleagues, friends will recognize your identity from afar and will no longer allow themselves to make offensive statements about you. Believe me, a strong person is one who was able to realize his true nature and achieve self-respect. This is precisely why others respect us.

Understanding your purpose

Conflict with yourself is always incredibly exhausting. It's like a battle with no winners. People are sometimes ready to adapt to the demands of society and shift responsibility for their own destiny onto the shoulders of others. Only an understanding of one’s true purpose turns a person to a greater extent towards himself. It becomes difficult to confuse such a person, to impose some opinion on her. If you want to be happy, find something you love that will inspire you to new achievements and give you a lot of positive emotions. The resulting impressions will help you cope with any difficulties and resolve intrapersonal conflict.

Thus, conflict always contains the opportunity for personal growth. The more efforts we make to overcome the contradiction, the more noticeable the final result will be. It is extremely important for a person to be able to deal with his internal conflicts in time in order to fully move forward and go through life with his head held high.

Your mind and heart feel like they are split.

You want to do something, but another part of you screams: “there is no way!”

You believe in something, but you cannot justify the actions that faith teaches.

You feel that it is right, but at the same time you also feel that it is wrong.

How can you understand all this confusion, all this inner conflict? You feel your brain melting and you begin to despair.

If you feel like you're inching closer to insanity, or the confusion is becoming too much to handle, stop right now. Pause. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. For the next minute, focus on your breathing: inhaling and exhaling.

In this article, I hope to help you understand the roots of your inner conflicts and how to find peace of mind.

Internal conflict is the presence of opposing psychological beliefs, desires, impulses or feelings. In the field of psychology, internal conflict is often called " cognitive dissonance”, which means the presence of conflicting and incompatible thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. This psychological struggle can occur at any time in life in any area of ​​life, relationships, commitments, work, religious beliefs, moral views and social ideologies.

An example of internal conflict: a person who believes in women's rights, but does not allow them to make decisions. In the religious world, internal conflict often arises when a person is confronted with a doctrine or teaching that he is not comfortable preaching.

The worst battle is the battle between what we know and what we feel.

When we face any internal conflict, it is due to a disagreement between our heart and head.

As research conducted at the HeartMath Institute shows, our hearts carry their own special kind of intuitive intelligence. When we are brought up in a mind-dominated society, we become very confused and confused when our hearts are involved in everyday affairs. It is very easy to listen to the mind, mindlessly obey what others teach us, and plan our lives logically. But our hearts carry their own special kind of intelligence, which is non-linear, sophisticated and often very abstract. There is no formula or set of rules that is tied to the intelligence of the heart: we must tune in to the voice within that often confuses us so much.

Our intellect is what gives our lives structure, direction and practical application. But the intelligence of the heart is what breathes life and truth into the framework of our journey. By not listening to our hearts, we live soulless, unsatisfied and untrustworthy lives. But without listening to our heads, we live in absolute chaos.

As we can see, balance is needed. We need to listen to both our hearts and our heads, but we often tend to put one above the other, which is the reason why we experience internal conflict.

So why does internal conflict occur? This happens because we do not have balance and balance between the heart and the head. Our heart says one thing, but our mind says another: and both scream with the same intensity. When our actions do not align with our values, the inevitable result is feelings of discomfort and even shame. So what should we listen to, when, and why? We will look at the answer to this question, but first we need to understand what creates internal conflict.

We face internal conflict for a number of reasons. There is often no single cause or origin, but a number of factors which include:

• Beliefs and rules that we inherit from our parents.
• Religious beliefs, dogmas, or creeds in which we believe.
• Social values ​​and ideals that we have accepted.

Simply put, the more beliefs, ideals, expectations and desires we have, the more likely we are to suffer from internal conflict.

There are many various types internal conflicts, and I tried to cover as many as possible. Pay special attention to the ones below.

1. Moral conflict

Ethical conflict occurs when we hold conflicting beliefs about something related to our personal ethics. For example, a moral conflict may arise when a person believes in human rights but does not allow euthanasia. Or a person may value truthfulness highly, but lie to save another person's life.

2. Sexual conflict

Sexual conflict often intersects with other types of internal conflicts, such as religious or moral conflicts. For example, a person may be a Christian, but he discovers that he is homosexual. Or a person may value a monogamous relationship when sexually they are more suited to a polygamous relationship.

3. Religious conflict

Religious conflict is quite common as it revolves around reason-oriented beliefs and beliefs, which makes them particularly fragile. Examples of religious conflict include believing in a loving God, but it is difficult to accept that this “loving” being sends people to hell for eternity. Or a person who is religiously faithful uses various drugs. Whenever scientific facts religious conflict can arise in a person who values ​​both truth and his religious beliefs.

4. Political conflict

Political conflict occurs when a person feels a split between his own beliefs and the beliefs of his political party. For example, a person may believe in his country, but not believe in the tax system. A person can agree with a party but disagree with their health care system. Or a person may believe in a political philosophy but disagree with the methods of supporting that party.

5. Love conflict

Love conflict occurs when we love someone and at the same time want to do something that will hurt them. For example, we may love our child, but believe that we must hit him to make him obedient, this makes us feel guilty. We can also love a person and want to remain in a relationship with him, but understand that we must let him go.

6. Self-esteem conflict

Your image is your internal idea of ​​yourself, for example, “My name is Ivan. I am a patient, loving and compassionate person. I'm a disorganized artist who supports animal rights, etc." Internal conflict occurs when we are confronted with evidence that contradicts our beliefs about ourselves. For example, a person who believes he is honest may lie on his resume to get his dream job. Someone who is for a healthy diet cannot give up smoking. A person who identifies as an empath may experience constant resentment towards another person.

7. Interpersonal conflict

Interpersonal conflict overlaps with other types of intrapersonal conflicts such as self-esteem and love. This type of conflict occurs in social situations when you want to act one way but act differently. For example, Anton hates talking about sports, but he pretends to be interested in what his colleagues are saying. An introvert does not have much energy, but puts up a façade of "high energy" to fit in with others. Or someone is offended by a friend, but doesn’t say anything, even if they really want to say it.

8. Existential conflict

Existential conflict involves a feeling of discomfort and confusion in life, especially when two opposing beliefs or desires arise. For example, to hate life, but at the same time love it. Or the desire to live life to the fullest, but not wanting to make any changes or step out of their comfort zone. Existential conflict can also be directed toward the world, such as wanting to save the planet while at the same time believing it is doomed or polluting it.

Please note that all of these examples of intrapersonal conflict often overlap with each other. This list is also not definitive, so feel free to leave a comment if you think there are any types of internal conflict that are missing.

All the struggle happens inside. And what causes internal conflict? Attachment to beliefs, desires and expectations.

It's very simple, all our suffering arises when we believe our thoughts, instead of seeing them for what they really are: transmission of energy fluctuations in the brain. Do we control our thoughts? No. Otherwise, we would always choose to think happy and harmonious thoughts. We don't even know what our next thought will be, let alone the next ten, because they all arise and disappear spontaneously. If we don't control these thoughts, then how can they mean anything about us unless we give them meaning ourselves?

Sit down and try to follow how your thoughts come. Do you control them? Or are they controlling you?

Additionally, here are some other tips that I hope can help you find more peace and clarity:

The difference between intuition and fear.

In the long run, which choice is wise?

When our heart dominates, we tend to make rash, poorly thought out decisions. When the head leads: foresight, foresight. Foresight is wisdom. With the knowledge you have now, what would be the wisest long-term decision?

Weigh all the pros and cons.

If you're struggling for clarity, split the page into two parts. List all the pros of your decision on the one hand and the cons on the other.

Figure out your number one priority.

Internal conflict often arises when we do not have a clear priority. What is your biggest priority at the moment? What do you value most?

What false beliefs are fueling your confusion?

What false, misleading, limiting or irrelevant beliefs are causing conflict within you? Write down your problem on a piece of paper and next to it ask “Why?” For example, you may want to keep your job, but also long to stay home with your little ones. By relentlessly asking why, you might discover that you believe that staying home with your children makes you a failure, and you have accepted this belief from society.

Be brutally honest: what are you afraid of?

Fear always lies at the root of internal conflict. What really scares you? What are you most afraid of? Sometimes discovering your core fear helps you gain more clarity and direction.

What is the “lesser of two evils”?

If you had to make a choice with a gun to your head, what decision would you make?

What resists the flow?

One simple way to test what "shouldn't be" is to examine what causes the most resistance in your life. Remember, life flows easily. It is our thoughts and desires that cut the flow. So let's explore what creates a lot of resistance in life. Are you clinging to a ship that sailed a long time ago?

A more loving approach.

Do you respect your authenticity or honor what you “believe” you should do/be? Which approach or choice is more consistent with truth and love?

Is there a bigger problem?

Sometimes internal conflict actually masks deeper issues that need to be explored to find a solution, such as negative self-beliefs, unresolved shame, or childhood trauma.

Relaxation of the mind.

Relaxation is a great way to develop new perspectives. Try to meditate, listen to soothing music, or practice mindfulness. Often the best answers come when we are not looking for them.

Decline the choice.

Do you need an answer right now? Sometimes letting life go in the direction it wants is a better option than taking a violent path. Wayne Dyer: "The conflict cannot survive without your complicity."

I hope these tips help you find more peace of mind. Remember that it is completely normal to experience intrapersonal conflict and there is nothing strange about you. Also, when it comes to internal conflicts, people tend to romanticize the heart and believe that we should only listen to what the heart wants. But this is an unbalanced approach: you need to listen to both the heart and the brain to create inner harmony.

If you would like to make an appointment for a consultation, you can use the phone number or fill out the form feedback, for this go to the contact page and choose a method convenient for you. Thank you!

Intrapersonal conflict is a contradiction that arises in a person for a number of reasons. The conflict is recognized as a serious emotional problem. Intrapersonal conflict requires special attention, strength to resolve it, and intense internal work.

Causes of internal conflicts:

• applying old strategies to a new situation in which they will not work;
• inability to make responsible decisions;
• lack of information necessary to control the situation;
• dissatisfaction with one's place in life;
• lack of full communication;
• problems with self-esteem;
• big commitments;
• inability to change the situation.

In order to accurately analyze an intrapersonal conflict and find a way to resolve it, it is necessary to remember that main reason is the pressure of the social environment on the individual.

The entire group of intrapersonal conflicts can be divided into two subgroups:

1. appearing due to objective contradictions that affect the inner world of the individual (this includes moral conflicts, adaptation, etc.)
2. appearing due to a discrepancy between the individual’s inner world and the outside world (conflicts related to self-esteem or motivation).

The resolution of intrapersonal conflict is associated with the acquisition of new qualities. The individual must reconcile his own inner world with environment, society. She must develop the habit of being less aware of contradictions. There are two options for overcoming intrapersonal conflict - constructive and destructive. The constructive option allows you to obtain a new quality of life, achieve harmony and peace of mind, and understand life more deeply and more accurately. Overcoming internal conflict can be understood by reducing negative socio-psychological factors, by the absence of painful sensations that previously arose due to conflict, by improving one’s condition and increasing efficiency.

All people deal with their intrapersonal conflicts differently. It depends on their individual qualities and temperament. The latter affects the speed and stability of experiences, their intensity. It also depends on temperament whether the conflict will be directed inward or outward. Intrapersonal conflict manifests itself differently in each person.

Ways to resolve intrapersonal conflicts:

• Changing the selected strategy

Many people are often unable to change the way they perceive and think in a new situation. We adhere to similar behavior, trying to deceive ourselves that the situation does not require drastic changes. It is necessary not only to learn to analyze facts, but also to understand your own attitude to the problem. Each time, ask yourself whether the chosen behavior strategy is relevant for a particular case. If a change in approach is required, action must be taken. Then the internal conflict of the individual will be resolved constructively.

• Ability to deal with tension

When realizing a conflict, inability to follow the requirements specific situation Minor mental trauma may occur. It will become a trigger that can radically change the approach to solving the problem and attitude towards it. The person begins to exhibit hypertrophied qualities. If before he was active, now he will behave fussily and chaotically. If earlier he was irritable, now his main feature will be his temper. Mild anxiety can develop into fear. Circumstances force a person to behave aggressively. Often, with intrapersonal conflict, complexes appear. A person begins to come up with reasons for his own insolvency and withdraws into himself.

To find a constructive way to get rid of internal conflict, you need to be aware of your own problems. Everyone has difficulties, but only those who understand the existence of problems can fight them. It is necessary to achieve harmony between the spiritual and physical condition, communication and imagination. Physical relaxation has a positive effect on the stability of mental state. To normalize mental functioning, you need to follow simple steps.

Margaret Thatcher wrote about them. She said that after a difficult day at home, all the problems seemed to fall on her, bringing her to tears. She relieved spiritual stress by doing simple chores around the house - ironing or putting dishes in the closet. This allowed me to return my psyche to normal and relax.

• Finding the best moment to act

If there is a lack of information that prevents you from acting, you should wait a little. However, this wait turns out to be too tedious. In this case, you should set yourself to wait for the right moment. This installation will relieve constant anxiety and make it easier to bear the wait. Often, waiting literally eats up choleric people who are incapable of long-term inactivity. But people of other temperaments can also break down and begin to act in inappropriate conditions. This is how errors appear. Remember the rule - if you don’t know what to do, then it’s better not to do anything. This will save you from mistakes. Later, you will receive the necessary information and determine the optimal moment to take action.

• Waiting for the result

Not everyone is able to wait not only for the right moment, but also for the result of their actions. Impatience forces him to come up with something so that he appears sooner. This is due to the uncertainty that all actions to achieve the desired result were completed on time. In this case, you need to give yourself the mindset that the result will come by itself. This way you can relieve stress from uncertainty and better adapt to the waiting conditions.

• Praise yourself in difficult situations

Troubles and problems are faithful companions of any business. Nothing can go smoothly. If troubles arise, do not blame yourself or be upset. You need to understand that it will be better later. This creates an interval of calm. If a person understands that all difficulties will soon go away, he gains additional strength. This is necessary if your activity requires a long time to obtain the desired result. Pay attention not only to the final result, but also to intermediate successes. Completing each stage deserves encouragement. In difficult situations, humor often saves the day. You will be able to get rid of sad thoughts and look at the situation from a different angle.

• Learn to make good use of feelings of isolation

Communication is not only about communicating with other people, but also about communicating with yourself. If a person has a feeling of isolation, then he must analyze it and understand the reasons. There may be several reasons. If this is a decrease in self-esteem, then you need to remember your past achievements, then self-confidence will appear. If this is a deterioration in relationships with colleagues or friends, then intimacy needs to be restored, even if this requires concessions on your part or an apology.

Is it possible to constructively resolve internal conflict, caused by the coercion of the situation? We are all distinguished by our love of freedom, but its scope depends on the individual and the characteristics of her character. We must realize that social life is impossible in isolation from society itself. After this, concessions should be compared with life attitudes. If the concessions do not violate the integrity of the main life values, then the conflict is unjustified. But the answer to this question is individual for everyone.

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