The child speaks about himself in the third person. Turning to yourself in the third person - fulfilling your own desires

Feb. 22nd, 2009 | 08:40 pm
music:   Deuter-Nada Hymalaya 2 - Yantra

looking for yourself ...

I read different articles because I am very interested in why people very often talk about themselves in the third person. Abstraction of your personality is obtained? What are the reasons behind this? What to do with it?
For example, I’m not comfortable with what a person says about himself, as about someone else .. This is due to some fears, probably. Or as it is written below - belittling oneself, associating oneself with a student, servant, child .. Is it possible to see the manifestation of immaturity in this? Or am I exaggerating and linking the concept of a human personality to some clear factors, which should not be done? Maybe this is the opposite manifestation of the multidimensionality of the individual? Her selfishness?

Well, what should I think if a person tells me: "Vasya wants to eat, Dasha is well, Lucy misses you" and so on.? Is it special if he / she talks about himself?

For me, it sounds like a suppression of one’s personality, the old self-expression.
Or maybe I'm wrong? Please share your thoughts on this subject.

"... In classical Latin, the word" Ego "was used to emphasize the significance of the face and contrast it with others. Like a direct look in the eyes, which in many animals serves as a sign of challenge, but in people is carefully regulated (subjects were often forbidden to raise their eyes to their sovereign ; to this day it is considered indecent and defiant to stare into the eyes of a stranger), first-person treatment, regardless of its content, has a hint of self-affirmation. To avoid the confrontation associated with this a system of language rituals has been developed, in particular an indirect form of appeal, when the one to whom they speak is called in the third person or descriptively ("my sovereign", "signor", etc.). Respect for the appeal to the higher is complemented by derogatory epithets in relation to to oneself: instead of “I,” they say, for example, “an obedient servant,” “an unworthy slave.”

This “ceremonial speech,” or “language of titles,” has an ancient tradition and is represented in all languages. Its forms are especially sophisticated in the languages \u200b\u200bof the peoples of Southeast Asia. In Chinese and Vietnamese, it is generally not customary to speak of oneself in the first person: instead of “I,” it is necessary to indicate the relationship in which the speaker is to the person he is talking to. “The custom of talking about oneself in the third person reproduces, to the extent possible, the existing social hierarchy. An individual thus endlessly reminds himself that in the face of his king he is a subject, in the face of a teacher a student, in front of an elder a younger one, etc. He "so to speak, it does not exist otherwise than in connection with another. His" I "is consistently identified with its many family and social roles." 21
..."

I.S. Kon "In Search of Myself"

reasons (observation):

1. Rejection, rejection of oneself. Children and youth injuries. The desire to be different. So that you are loved, respected.
2.

Consultation for parents

THE CHILD SPEAKS ABOUT HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PARTY OR CONFUSES THE FLOOR

Parents always have reason to worry. It would seem that just recently the child did not speak at all, and now, the long-awaited “breakthrough” has come and the baby is constantly trying to tell you something. But for some reason he speaks about himself as if from the outside: “Dima is thirsty” or “Katya put on her dress”. Is this normal, and if so, to what age? How to teach a child to talk about himself as an adult - "I"? And what if the baby calls himself “I”, but confuses the endings, saying “done” instead of “done”?

When does a child start talking about himself in the third person?

Everyone knows that young children often talk about themselves in the third person. Psychologists attribute this to unformed self-awareness as an individual, or incomplete self-identification.

Parents are eager to teach the baby to speak, and they focus his attention on the simplest and most important words: “mother, father” and, of course, the name of the child. It is known that the first words in children are those that they hear most often. In the consciousness of the crumbs, the images of loved ones are fixed and understanding what his name is. He can show his own reflection in the mirror, calling himself, for example, “bark” or his name. In one and a half to two years, phrasal speech is formed, and the baby begins to combine words into simple sentences. It is at this time that children begin to use phrases such as “Take Katya to the Pens” in a speech.

Self-identification, or the child’s awareness of his "I"

The child becomes aware of himself as a person gradually. It is believed that only by the age of three children are psychologically “separated”, or separated, from their mother. Of course, the process is not instantaneous, but usually it is precisely at the age of 3 years that there is a crisis of self-identity. The kid begins to understand that he is not part of the mother, not some abstract boy or girl, but "I". He confidently states "I want to," "Give me." At the age of three, children persistently uphold their independence, which can be expressed in moods, negativity, stubbornness, disobedience.

If the child speaks about himself in the second person

From about the middle of the third year of life to 3 years, all babies go through a certain stage of self-awareness. The vocabulary is actively replenished, the child, like a sponge, absorbs everything he hears. Some children to the question: “Do you want to drink?” Answer: “Do you want to.” This is normal for children of the third year of life, but experts say that in three years this should not be the same. The speech of the three-year-old is quite understandable even to outsiders, it is well-built and contains a designation of oneself as “I”. If your child has deviations from these norms, we recommend contacting a specialist (neurologist, psychologist).

How old is the child talking about himself in the third person?

In almost all families where there are small children, it is customary to talk with them in a certain way: “Now mother will dress Vova, and Vova will go for a walk”; "Masha liked the porridge?"; "Mom and Dad will buy a doll for Dasha." This treatment is somewhat justified with babies who are several months old. But mothers are so accustomed to this “detached” image that they continue to talk about themselves in the third person and with two-year-olds, but what is there - sometimes with four-year-old children! It is not surprising that children, learning from adults, begin to repeat after them: “Give Katya an apple” or “Sasha wants to take a walk”. It seems to parents cute and even funny, but up to a certain age. If the child speaks well, but calls himself by name, this somewhat cuts the ear.

Usually, children stop talking about themselves in the third person by about 3 years old. Psychologists explain this “revolution” of children's speech by growing up and emerging self-awareness. However, there are examples of families in which they never spoke remotely about children, in the third person, and always turned to other people like: “Do you want to go for a walk?”, “What toy do you like more?”, “I’ll now put on your pants ". In the rest, the upbringing of these babies was no different from the upbringing in ordinary families: they were also very patronized, and their independence was not particularly encouraged. Surprisingly, such kids not only never talked about themselves in the third person, but the “3-year crisis” didn’t manifest themselves at all. There was neither obstinacy, nor negativism, nor the emphasized “I myself!”

From the above example, it becomes clear: the problem with the transition from a third person to a first in self-identification may well be caused by improper treatment of an adult baby. Imagine yourself in the place of a child! Speaking to him, mom calls herself mom, dad calls dad, and grandmother calls grandmother. And when communicating with each other, parents talk about themselves in a completely different way. To the child himself, even in questions, they turn: "Dasha wants to eat?". So the kid has to independently adapt to the "adult" speech, simultaneously experiencing the notorious self-identification. Maybe you should not complicate the life of your children?

Some psychologists generally do not recommend using a third-person designation of themselves and a child in their speech. Thus, you will increase the chances of growing it independent, confident, active and sociable. If for you the appeal to “you” and “I” is an overwhelming task, we recommend that you at least listen to how you speak with the baby. Try to “dilute” the third person first. Say about yourself “I am preparing dinner”, and not “Mom is preparing dinner”. This will definitely help your child get closer to “normal” speech.

A child (boy) speaks about herself in a feminine gender: is this normal?

It often happens that boys talk about themselves in a feminine way. Hearing from the lips of a young son the phrases: “I ate”, “I played”, “I took” my mother is somewhat strange, and some even scared. Girls are less likely to talk about themselves in the masculine gender, and usually parents are not so worried. The reason for this confusion is commonplace: the boy spends a lot of time with his mother, grandmother or sister and simply copies them. Girls speak of themselves as a boy less often, because usually parenting is still a female affair. The exception is when a girl grows up with one dad or spends a lot of time with her brothers.

Do not scold the son (or daughter) for the "wrong" pronunciation. Do not focus on this issue at all. Just keep calling the baby normally, according to his gender. If the son says: “I BUILT the road,” answer: “Show me which road you built!” What a great builder you are! ” Emphasize the difference in the behavior of men and women in conversations with the child. Show joy if your son helped you: “You are a real man, help a woman!”. And do not take temporary difficulties with child sexual identity as a problem.

When does a child begin to talk about himself in the first person and when is it time to worry?

Parents whose babies speak well, but constantly call themselves in the third person, are undoubtedly interested in the question: “When does the child begin to say“ I ”about himself?”

As mentioned above, usually children stop talking about themselves detached to three years.

If your child at 3 years old still speaks about himself in the third person, do not rush to panic, but listen to your own speech. Perhaps it’s time to stop underestimating your baby and start turning to him as an adult.

At 4 years old, rare children talk about themselves in the third person. If your baby belongs to such children, do not rush to consider this a sign of autism. Perhaps adults themselves confuse the child, saying the wrong thing. Plus, most likely, he will not yet go through the stage of self-identification. However, it will not hurt to consult a pediatric psychologist and a defectologist.

The formation of a proper perception of oneself is an important part of the life of a young child. We wish you to pass this period easily and do not forget that the baby is very smart and susceptible to adult speech.

Writing from a third party is simple, you just have to practice a little. Its use in academic, that is, educational or scientific texts means the rejection of the pronouns “I” or “you,” as a rule, in order to achieve a more objective and formal style. In fiction, a third person can take the form of various points of view - the point of view of an omniscient author, limited narration from a third person (one or more focal characters) or objective narration from a third person. Choose for yourself which one you will lead your story with.

Steps

Third Person Academic Writing

Use a third party for any academic texts.   Describing research results and scientific evidence, write from a third party. So your text will be more objective. For academic or professional purposes, this objectivity is important so that what you write will give the impression of impartiality and, therefore, deserve more trust.

Use the correct pronouns.   The third person speaks of people “from the side”. Use nouns, proper nouns or third person pronouns.

• Third-person pronouns include: he, she, it, they, and their forms in all cases - him, her, them, him, her, them, them, and so on.
• Names of people are also suitable for third-person presentation.
• Example: “ Orlov   thinks otherwise. According to him   research, earlier statements on the subject are incorrect. ”

1. Avoid first person pronouns.   The first person assumes the personal point of view of the author, which means that this presentation looks subjective and based on opinion, and not on facts. The first person should be avoided in the academic essay (unless otherwise specified by the assignment, say, your   opinion or results your   work).

   Avoid second person pronouns.   Through them, you directly contact the reader, as if you knew him personally, and the style of your writing becomes too familiar. The second person should never be used in scientific work.

   Talk about the subject in general terms.   Sometimes the author needs to make a reference to the subject, without naming him specifically. In other words, he needs to mention the person in general, and not some already known person. In this case, the temptation to write “you” usually arises. However, in this case, it will be appropriate to use a noun that has a generalized character, or a pronoun - indefinite, definitive, or negative.

2. Avoid the excessive he or she design. Sometimes modern authors write “he or she” instead of “he,” although the subject was originally mentioned as masculine.

   • Such use of pronouns is dictated by political correctness and is the norm, for example, in English, but in Russian it usually only makes the phrase redundant. After the noun “scientist”, “doctor”, “child”, “man” one can and should write “he”.
   • Wrong: “The witness wanted to give anonymous evidence. He or she   afraid to suffer if his or her   the name will become known. ”
   • That's right: “The witness wanted to give anonymous evidence. is he   he was afraid to suffer if his name became known. ”

   The all-knowing author's point of view

   1. Move focus from one character to another.   When you write a literary text from the perspective of an all-knowing author, the narrative jumps from one character to another, and does not follow the thoughts, actions and words of one hero. The author knows everything about each of them and the world in which they live. He decides which thoughts, feelings or actions to open to the reader, and which to hide from him.

      • Suppose that in the work there are four main characters: William, Bob, Eric and Samantha. At different points in the story, the writer should depict the actions and thoughts of each of them, and he can do this within the same chapter or paragraph.
      • Example: “William thought Erica had lied, but he wanted to believe that she had a good reason. Samantha was also sure that Erica was lying, and besides, she was tormented by jealousy, since Tony dared to think well about another girl. ”
      • Authors of omniscient narratives should avoid sharp jumps - do not change the character’s views within the same chapter. This does not violate the canons of the genre, but is a sign of narrative friability.

   2. Disclose any information you wish.   From the point of view of the all-knowing author, the story is not limited to the experiences and inner world of a single character. Along with thoughts and feelings, the writer can reveal to the reader the past or future of the characters directly in the course of the narration. In addition, he can express his own opinion, evaluate events from a moral standpoint, describe cities, nature or animals separately from scenes with the participation of characters.

      • In a certain sense, the author, writing from this point of view, is something like a “god” in his work. A writer can observe the actions of any character at any time, and, unlike a human observer, he not only sees external manifestations, but is also able to look into the inner world.
      • Know when to hide information from the reader. Although the author can talk about everything he wants, a piece of understatement can be beneficial to the work when some things open gradually. For example, if one of the heroes is shrouded in an aura of mystery, it would be reasonable to keep the reader from his senses until his true motives are revealed.

   3. Avoid using first and second person pronouns.   First person pronouns - "I", "we" and their forms - can only appear in dialogs. The same applies to the second person - “you” and “you”.

      • Do not use the first and second person in the narrative and narrative of the text.
      • That's right: “Bob told Erica:“ I think it's pretty scary. What do you think?""
      • Wrong: “I thought it was pretty scary, and Erica and Bob agreed. And what do you think?"

   Limited third-person narration (single character)

   1. Choose a hero from the point of view of which you will lead the story.   With limited third-party narration, the author has full access to the actions, thoughts, feelings and views of a single character. He can write directly from the position of the thoughts and reactions of this character, or he can step aside for a more objective story.

      • Thoughts and feelings of other characters remain unknown to the narrator throughout the text. Having chosen a limited narrative, he can no longer freely switch between different actors.
      • When the narration is conducted in the first person, the narrator acts as the main character, while in the third-person narration, everything is exactly the opposite - here the author moves away from what he writes. In this case, the narrator may reveal some details that he would not have disclosed if the narration was conducted in the first person.

   2. Describe the actions and thoughts of the character "from the side."   Although the writer focuses on one character, he should consider it separately from himself: the narrator and the hero’s personality do not merge! Even if the author relentlessly follows his thoughts, feelings and internal monologues, the narration must be conducted from a third person.

      • In other words, first person pronouns (“I”, “me”, “mine”, “we”, “ours” and so on) can only be used in dialogs. The narrator sees the thoughts and feelings of the protagonist, but the hero does not turn into a narrator.
      • That's right: "Tiffany felt terrible after an argument with her boyfriend."
      • That's right: "Tiffany thought:" I feel terrible after our quarrel with him. "
      • Wrong: "I felt terrible after a quarrel with my boyfriend."

   3. Show the actions and words of other characters, not their thoughts and feelings.   The author knows only the thoughts and feelings of the main character, from the position of which the story is being conducted. However, he can describe other characters as the hero sees them. The narrator can do everything that his character can; he just cannot know what is going on in the head of other actors.

      • The writer can make guesses or assumptions about the thoughts of other characters, but only from the point of view of the protagonist.
      • That's right: “Tiffany felt terrible, but, seeing the expression on Karl’s face, she realized that he was no better — or worse.”
      • Wrong: “Tiffany felt terrible. However, she did not know that Karl was even worse. "

   4. Do not disclose information that the hero does not own.   Although the narrator can retreat and describe the scene or other characters, he should not talk about anything that the hero does not see or know. Do not skip from one character to another within the same scene. The actions of other characters can become known only if they occur in the presence of the hero (or he learns about them from someone else).

      • That's right: "From the window, Tiffany saw how Karl approached the house and rang the doorbell."
      • Wrong: "As soon as Tiffany left the room, Karl breathed a sigh of relief."

   Limited third-person narration (multiple focal characters)

   1. Switch from one character to another.   The limited narrative on behalf of several characters called focal means that the author leads the story from the point of view of several heroes in turn. Use the vision and thoughts of each of them to reveal important information and help the development of the plot.

      • Limit the number of focal characters. You should not write from the point of view of many actors so as not to confuse the reader and not overload the work. The unique vision of each focal character should play a role in the narrative. Ask yourself what each of them contributes to the plot.
      • For example, in a romantic story with two main characters - Kevin and Felicia - the author can give the reader the opportunity to understand what is happening on the soul of both of them, describing events alternately from two points of view.
      • One character can be given more attention than another, but each focal character must receive its share at one time or another in the development of history.