Hot temper in a relationship. Irascibility
Short temper is a tendency to abnormal, excessive emotional manifestations, explosive reactions to ordinary irritants, restraint, a predisposition to anger. The phenomenon under consideration is more often observed in men. Femins are also prone to hot temper, but their version is often played out through the position of the victim and is usually found in grievances or tantrums. Hysteria and resentment are considered female variants of temper. This concept is often referred to as bad character traits. This is not entirely true, since there are two variations of temper: justified and empty.
Causes of short temper
The concept under consideration is not considered the best feature, since uncontrollable anger can seriously complicate the existence and distort the relationship with the environment. With nervous excitement, which is often accompanied by anger and it is difficult to analyze the spoken and select the right words. As a result of which, quick-tempered is often ashamed of his unworthy behavioral manifestations. Moreover, after a rather short period, a similar situation is repeated under the influence of a number of circumstances.
Short temper is a rather dangerous phenomenon in psychology, as it drives the negative ones in depth, causing mental problems, a breakdown in communication and self-perception.
The reasons that provoke excessive temper can be attributed to various stressors or unfairly caused grievances.
Common factors causing the condition in question: regular lack of sleep, bad habits, constant anxiety, unhealthy diet, abuse of low-calorie foods, increased, accumulated fatigue, vitamin deficiency, life disorders.
Often, increased irritability signals the presence of infectious ailments, mental pathologies, diseases of the digestive tract, and diabetes. In addition, short temper can be caused by thyroid dysfunction.
Short temper in the female population often occurs during pregnancy or menopause. A similar condition is associated with ongoing hormonal transformations in the body. The sons of Adam suffer from excessive excitability due to a decrease in the production of the hormone testosterone. It has also been proved by science that this feature, if it is a stable characteristic, has a hereditary nature.
Individuals with often overstate the bar in front of them. As a result of this, they cannot correspond to their own far-fetched image of the ideal “I”. This causes disruptions in family relationships, problems in the work environment. The result is a constantly present, firmly rooted in the mind. In order to avoid this, you do not need to compare your own achievements with the successes of other individuals.
Intermittent hot temper
Attacks of aggression, verbal insults, assault are characteristic signs of excessive temper. Any person can freak out, but often aggressiveness is caused by a disorder of intermittent temper, which often affects the strong half of humanity.
A characteristic feature of the described disorder is the inadequacy of response to a minor situation, the slightest occasion, criticism, causticity, stress, difficulties in relationships. Each subject is able to flare up, but the majority is still able to control excessive emotional response, but with the disorder in question, the individual is unstoppable in his own reactions. His fury always goes beyond what is permitted and tends to recur periodically.
A disorder of intermittent short-temper is called behavioral deviation, characterized by explosive episodes, often reaching its climax. Such outbreaks are disproportionate to the circumstances that gave rise to them. Impulsive aggressiveness is involuntary and is caused by a disproportionate response to any provocation, real or planned. Some individuals exhibit affective transformations before a seizure.
The described deviation is a serious mental health disorder that must be treated, as it can develop into. Friends, colleagues, relatives may suffer. Individuals suffering from such a disorder are at risk of other mental disorders. Among them are frequent cases of alcoholism and. Also, the described disorder with age often causes myocardial problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis. Therefore, the question of how to get rid of temper is not without its relevance.
Today, this disorder is classified as subversive, impulsive disorder and behavioral response. Patients suffering from the described deviation demonstrate episodes characterized by various bodily symptoms (sweating, palpitations, chest tightness, twitching). Aggressive behavior is often accompanied by a feeling of relief, sometimes accompanied by a sense of pleasure. Such feelings are replaced by belated repentance.
A significant feature of this deviation is the appearance of discrete episodes of a lack of resistance to aggressive motivators, leading to serious malicious acts or the destruction of things.
The degree of aggression manifested during the outbreak is not proportional to the provocation or influence of the psychosocial stressor.
It is quite difficult to diagnose the described deviation, since it is possible to make a diagnosis only if other disorders of mental activity are excluded, which may also be accompanied by episodes of short temper, for example, an antisocial or, manic episode, behavioral disorders.
In addition, similar clinical manifestations can be observed due to direct physiological effects of certain chemicals (pharmacopeia drugs, narcotic drugs), head injuries.
The symptoms of the disorder in question usually include the following:
- several discrete attacks of refusal to resist aggressive stimuli, causing violent negative emotions or destruction of property;
- the degree manifested by the outbreak is incommensurable with the psychosocial stressor;
- outbreaks of aggressiveness are not caused by the presence of other pathologies of the psyche.
How to deal with temper
Individuals suffering from excessive temper, complicate the existence of themselves, their loved ones. Any little thing is able to generate a violent inadequate negative reaction in such subjects. This complicates the interaction with colleagues, acquaintances, relatives. Excessive temper often leads to frustration in family relationships. Thus, an inadequate negative reaction to impulses from the outside harms personal life and hinders career growth.
In order to understand how to get rid of temper, you need to understand its nature. Any manifestation of emotions is a response of the nervous system to the stimulus. Non-hostility to the individual's incontinence in statements, sharp outbursts of anger, peremptory disagreement in everything that is happening around are often the result of nervous overstrain. Therefore, if excessive temper is generated by these factors, then a banal rest, a good sleep or a hobby will help get rid of it.
When an individual is faced with serious life troubles, any minor incident can provoke a single outbreak of aggression or become a source of the emergence of more serious ailments. Therefore, psychologists say that negative emotions must be given a way out, otherwise they will aggravate the condition. The individual will plunge into himself and begin to cultivate to the environment. There is also the danger of degeneration of excessive temper into an inseparable character trait.
Since this short temper in psychology is considered a dangerous condition that causes disturbances in the functioning of the body systems, it is necessary to deal with uncontrolled outbreaks of aggression.
Sport is especially effective in preventing outbreaks of aggression, especially its varieties associated with high physical activity. Sports activities help eliminate excessive nervous tension.
It is also not recommended to neglect elements and commonplace. The exercises are quite simple in execution, but the effect comes quickly. To achieve a faster result, it is recommended to combine these exercises with elements of respiratory gymnastics.
In addition, you should create a rule not to respond immediately to phrases or actions that cause anger. It is recommended to pause before the response statement or action. You can mentally count to 5. Literally in a few seconds the irritation will subside slightly, as a result of which there will be no outbreak of aggression.
It is also recommended to diversify your own existence in order to saturate it with positive emotions. You need to more often get out from relatives to nature, visit theaters, meet friends, read literature. The hormonal genesis of excessive hot temper should not be ruled out. A qualified endocrinologist will help get rid of episodes of aggression here.
Short temper - a tendency to inadequate, excessive reactions - emotional restraint, explosive irritability to ordinary stimuli; predisposition to anger.
Once upon a time there was one very quick-tempered and unrestrained person. And then one day his father gave him a bag of nails and punished every time he did not restrain his anger from driving one nail into a fence post. On the first day, there were several dozen nails in the fence. A week later, the young man learned to restrain himself, and every day the number of nails hammered into a pole began to decrease. The young man realized that controlling his temper was easier than driving in nails. Finally, the day came when he never once lost his temper. He told his father about this and he said that from that day on, every time his son manages to restrain himself, he can pull one nail out of the pillar. Time passed, and the day came when the young man could tell his father that not a single nail remained in the pillar. Then the father took his son's hand and led him to the fence: “You did a good job, but you see how many holes there are in the column? He will never be the same again. When you say something evil to a person, the same scar remains in his soul as these holes. ”
Hot-tempered - mind distraction for theft of emotions . In a calm state, the mind controls the manifestation of feelings and emotions, and only with temporary insanity, which is the temper, negative destructive emotions gush into space. The heartbeat rises, blood pressure rises, there is a powerful surge of adrenaline. If you do not slow down in time, you can smoothly go into a state of anger in many of its manifestations, including extreme ones - rage and rage. Having pumped huge energy out of a person, a flash of temper throws him into a state of despondency, exhausted, exhausted, defenseless and gloomy. Short-tempered friends are fervor, passion, anger, lack of balance and irritability.
Losing reason for a while, a person practically does not control himself, becomes limp, so he loses respect in the eyes of others. Hot temper levels the ability to make the right decisions, pushes to rash acts, worsens a person’s well-being, provokes problems, leads to hysteria and ends with a sense of shame.
Short temper is characterized by instant jumping from a calm state to an extremely excited, agitated and impulsive. Temperament plays a significant role; it cannot be discounted. Hot temper is a person without “brakes”. Any person hundreds of times a day has to consciously or unconsciously make a choice how to react to a particular situation in life. The right to choose is a tremendous gift of fate, an invaluable advantage of a conscious individual. For example, in a tram we were pushed and at the same time impolitely commented on the push. A person has a choice how to react to a situation - to get into a bicker with a tram boor or ignore a provocation. It takes a split second to think about what to do. Temper, unknown for any sins, is devoid of the greatest advantage of the individual - choice rights . She, without a second's doubt, flashes up, sharply raises her voice, tears the “vest” on herself, actively gesticulates, in a word, she is angry with all her urine. In other words, the short temper between the event and the reaction to it lacks a “safety valve” in the form of the right of choice. The irritant, bypassing the filters of consciousness without hindrance, directly affects the sensitive centers of a person, causing an outburst of temper. There is no reason to be short of temper, but there is only one reason - the impossibility and inability to make choices about how to respond to life events.
Any trifle can become the trigger of temper, but, first of all, is anger, fueled by condemnation. Without self-control and mental stability, it is easy for a person to “catch fire” when meeting with ignorance, not wanting to actively listen, constantly interrupting and protesting. Bad mood, stress, overwork, fear and anxiety can be a good springboard for temper. In other words, any object or situation of the external world that is given excessive importance can become a cause of temper.
The temper has a lot of enemies in the person of humanity, kindness, tolerance, understanding and the ability to forgive. The antidote to her is goodwill, wisdom, and self-control. She is a fast-passing emotion, and this must be used. It is very important to catch the first instant of temper and not to allow a flame to flare up from a spark. For this person it is necessary, as a child, to distract from the subject of conversation and to keep in the arsenal of improvised means - calm and reconciliation.
The life of a hot-tempered person cannot be called safe. What kind of security can we talk about if a person has no “brakes”. A vivid example of temper - the great artist Caravaggio. A man of violent temperament, rude, bold and independent. The artist’s quick-tempered and unpalatable disposition served as an occasion for constant clashes with others, which often ended in a fight, duel, or a sword strike. For this, he was repeatedly prosecuted and imprisoned. In 1606, Caravaggio, in a quarrel that broke out during a ball game, killed his opponent and fled from Rome. Finding himself in Naples, he went from there in search of work to Malta, where, after spending a year, he was admitted to the order thanks to the patronage of the grandmaster, whose portrait he painted. However, for a gross insult to one of the leaders of the Order, Caravaggio was thrown into prison, escaped from it and worked for some time in the cities of Sicily and again in Naples. In the hope of forgiveness of the pope, he went by sea to Rome. Mistakenly arrested by the Spanish border guard, robbed by carriers, the artist develops malaria and dies in 1610, thirty-six years of age.
Peter Kovalev
“I’ll marry: calm, mutual understanding, at home - a little paradise ...” A dream of any girl. But not everyone is given it. To begin with, we created a family in 30 years; six years married, two children. They started life from scratch, in a short time they bought a plot and built a small house, we create conditions for ourselves, slowly, as we manage. The husband tries, does everything for the house. I love him, no matter what happens. But he has one drawback, hot temper!
Any little thing - a not so spoken word, disagreement with it - can get him crazy, and then my spouse becomes almost insane. He can raise his hand, slams the door. Near the child, and he begins to swear, calls me obscene words, thereby hurting me to the very soul. Very vindictive, the day will go in a nasty mood, can not work out of anger. Even at such moments he speaks of divorce. I begin to reassure him, to relieve the situation (even though his fault, I take it upon myself and apologize). I say to him: “Do not swear, do not call names, even curse with decent words, the child hears, who, perhaps tomorrow, will repeat the same words with others that they will think about us?” He doesn’t understand, he says: "Do not bring me." Well, if I bring it, he is a man, he must control himself and not be like a drunkard, I think.
I, too, sometimes lose my temper, but do not express myself in this way. And he considers me guilty of everything, even I am guilty of his mistakes. Advise how to convey to him, so that our ears stop clogging obscene language and insults? I think that a Muslim should not behave in this way. For my part, I try and do my best to please him, to be such a wife as the Most High has prescribed. Compliance with the adab to each other should be on both sides, and not at the same gate, according to her husband.
It educates me, but he himself does not want to adhere to at least one adab point for his wife. There are no ideal people, and I have mistakes, but I recognize them and try to correct myself, and my husband does not even think about his mistakes ... Well, how to live with such a person, tell me? I can’t tell anyone about this. Shame on me and him, firstly. His relatives were initially against our marriage (we are a different nation), so you will not wait for understanding and help. I don’t want to upset mom, her heart cannot stand it. Sometimes he takes such despair as I think that he will have to live with such a vice all his life! I see life black and joyless ahead. But then, crying, I calm down, making a shukra on the Most High; See, this life Allah gave me for my sins ...
In terms of religion:
Dear sister, unfortunately, this often happens. Of course, if your spouse turned to us for advice, it would be much easier for us to help, since it is much easier to influence and wean him from such behavior for a person who notices his flaws, understands that it is bad.
Try to influence him from a religious point of view, convey to him information that obscene language is prohibited by the Sharia, that the use of profanity is sinful.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “ A Muslim is a brother of a Muslim. He does not oppress him, does not leave without help when he needs her, and does not humiliate him ", - then repeated three times:" Piety is here, ”pointing to the chest. Great is the sin of humiliation of a Muslim, his brother in faith, a Muslim is forbidden blood, property and honor of another Muslim! ”(Sahihu Muslim, No. 4650).
الْمُسْلِمُ أَخُو الْمُسْلِمِ لَا يَظْلِمُهُ وَلَا يَخْذُلُهُ وَلَا يَحْقِرُهُ التَّقْوَى هَاهُنَا وَيُشِيرُ إِلَى صَدْرِهِ ثَلَاثَ مَرَّاتٍ بِحَسْبِ امْرِئٍ مِنْ الشَّرِّ أَنْ يَحْقِرَ أَخَاهُ الْمُسْلِمَ كُلُّ الْمُسْلِمِ عَلَى الْمُسْلِمِ حَرَامٌ دَمُهُ وَمَالُهُ وَعِرْضُهُ
During outbursts of anger, it is advisable to change the pose, that is, if you are sitting, then get up or lie down, and vice versa, change the location, that is, if you are in the room, then go out into the corridor or the street, etc. How after swearing and during anger, it is recommended to take a bath, because the Prophet’s hadith (peace and blessings be upon him) says that anger arises from Satan, Satan is created from fire, and fire is extinguished by water (“Sunan ibn Dawood”, No. 4152).
إِنَّ الْغَضَبَ مِنْ الشَّيْطَانِ وَإِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ خُلِقَ مِنْ النَّارِ وَإِنَّمَا تُطْفَأُ النَّارُ بِالْمَاءِ فَإِذَا غَضِبَ أَحَدُكُمْ فَلْيَتَوَضَّأْ
All this can be conveyed to him both through a heart-to-heart conversation, and, for example, printed and hung on the wall. It is very important not to argue, and especially not to be bold, when he is in a bad mood, as this will even more push him to swear, obscenities, etc. Instead, respond politely or try to avoid him at such moments.
And, of course, ask the Almighty to correct him, to get rid of bad character traits. Islamic literature says that everything we eat directly affects not only our body, but also our character, so cook with ablution, reading the Qur'an and glorifying the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), etc.
From the point of view of psychology:
Most likely, your husband’s problem lies in the features of his temperament, more precisely in the inability to control his negative manifestations. The husband’s behavior described by you is suitable for the manifestation of choleric temperament, with the exception of some features. These very features to some extent perplex me and prompt me to seek an answer in several areas at once. The fact is that choleric temperament is characterized by high reactivity, that is, a quick reaction to any external stimuli. As a rule, these reactions appear in the form of short temper, in aggressive attacks. However, this type of temperament is also characterized by a rapid change in mental processes, that is, longevity. But you in your letter say that your spouse can remain in a negative mood for a long time, which is not quite characteristic of choleric people. So it turns out that the temper of the husband is complicated by other negative factors.
I did a small theoretical review with the goal that you understand: your husband has a basis for hot temper, it is physiological, and this cannot be ignored. The problem is that temperament does not change in the process of life, but ... its manifestation under the influence of the environment changes. In order for you to interact with your husband without conflict, you must understand him better than he understands himself. It is necessary to take into account his temper and exclude, as far as possible, random incentives. In principle, many outbreaks of anger can be prevented if a certain communication tactic is developed. As soon as you notice that he begins to get annoyed (you need to learn how to track this moment, most often it is expressed in a change in facial expressions, the appearance of certain gestures or postures), you must refuse to continue the argument and express your consent. Naturally, there are such things that may be important for you, and agreement on these positions does not seem obvious to you. In such cases, you need to interact in the form of proposals, rather than instructions. For example, the husband offers to do something at his discretion, but you have your own opinion on this subject that you would like to convey to your life partner. In such cases, you should not resort to refuting his opinion (remember that for a person's own opinion is most often an expression of personal freedom), you need to act in a different way. It is best to offer your own options for this or that in the form of a question. For example, if you do not agree with something, then instead of saying “this is not at all what we need”, you should offer your own version in the following form: “what if you do it like this?” In this case, you don’t refute his opinion and do not impose your own, instead you give him a choice, and it will be psychologically easier for your husband to accept your opinion, because it will to some extent act as his own - he approved of him, in the end.
If you practice such forms of communication, then without much difficulty you can develop your own specialized interaction strategy, tailored to the psychological characteristics of your spouse.
As for the husband’s vindictiveness and his long stay in a bad mood, this is most likely a consequence of a character defect of a stuck type. In psychological literature, this type of character is well-written, and you can independently find the material you are interested in, it’s enough to type “stuck personality type” in any Internet search system. Make the main emphasis on the so-called psychological emotional diet, that is, dilute the husband's daily life with positive incentives. If you see that he is in a grouchy state, then do not hurt him again, do not demand anything from him, just let him cool down calmly. Much will depend on the general emotional background in the house, on whether you walk with an offended expression on your face or if your face expresses a positive. You need to experiment in various ways and find what works best for your husband.
Muhammad Amin - Haji Magomedrasulov
theologian
Aliaskhab Anatolyevich Murzaev
psychologist-consultant of the Center for social assistance to families and children
Many people know firsthand what is hot temper. Each new day for them is a real overcoming of reality. They fight with any trifle, cling to every little thing and often, very much hate everyone with whom they are forced to communicate. The reasons for their own review they always find in the actions of others. Although in reality it lies in themselves, in their perception of the world and in their actions. Hot-tempered people themselves are to blame for what is happening to them. You will accept this point of view as soon as you read this publication to the end.
Overcame irritability, tired of temper
A few years ago, I, as a temperamental person who has a fairly rich life experience and developed consciousness, tried to prove to everyone that he was wrong. Literally everything annoyed me. Starting from what I was told about and ending with the actions of people. I had no idea how to deal with rage, but most importantly, I did not understand that such a perception of reality is wrong. From some point I began to look for ways that allow me to find inner balance and I managed to “cool down”. Only then did I realize that I “flashed” in every case in vain. Aggressive behavior did not bring me any benefit, but only harm, even greater irritability and frequent temper.
To recall how I behaved in past years, I was prompted by the case of one of the readers of the site “Advise!”. She asked a question, received an answer on the page of this resource, and then wrote as if she had answered nonsense, and began to demand the removal of her message. But, she knows the rule of this web project - all letters sent by users through the feedback form are published on the site. They are not deleted, because the administrator spent a lot of time responding to them. The woman in question perceives reality incorrectly. She sees everything in a distorted light, does not perceive what they write or say about her, and then puts her psychoses on others, taking away their time and nerves. Temper in her case is unreasonable. And from the side, her behavior looks, as it were, to put it mildly, idiotic. I hope she someday realizes this and understands how much harm she did to other people, getting on their nerves. It is worth understanding for all irritable personalities.
Short temper. Causes
In this part of the publication, I decided to describe what causes severe irritability and subsequently a short temper. The first reason could be called "cranky nerves." If you were subjected to terror in childhood by parents, classmates, relatives, neighbors, friends, acquaintances or strangers, then you should not be surprised at your incorrect perception of those with whom you communicate. After all, you consciously and subconsciously expect an attack, and therefore "always ready for battle." Any phrase, even remotely resembling what aggressors from the past told you, can provoke you to a temper. To get rid of this model of behavior, you need to clean your subconscious mind by mentally erasing the negative experiences of the past from your memories. You need to do this before bedtime, every day, for several months or even years. At some point, relief will come and irritability will pass.
The second reason is that your energy is oversaturated with the energy of fire. If you are not aware of how the world works and how your subtle body functions, then I recommend that you read it to understand what is happening. I will briefly describe in this part of the article what is happening in the energetics of a person, for whom short temper is the norm. Pondering the word itself, one can already conclude that it means some kind of active action, namely raising dust. Excessive activity in the energy sector occurs in people who have many active, struggling elements, in particular - fire, wood and metal. With the intensification of the fire element, the mind ceases to cope with the processing of information, and therefore it is perceived incorrectly. When the wood energy is strong, there is an irresistible irritation that passes only after active physical actions. Metallic energy is a protective layer of a living organism and therefore its strengthening leads to the elimination of temper and aggressiveness, but only if fire and wood are suppressed. How to reduce your irritability, strengthening the metal element, read.
The third reason that can cause short temper is a sense of permissiveness and a sense of self-importance. If you think that you know more than others, are better aware of everything, and you supposedly have special rights, then you will probably be annoyed by any message that you read or the statement of someone from your environment. In this case, you need to stop, rush about with your person, and try to hear those who are talking to you. If you do not succeed, then your social circle does not suit you. Look for those who match your level, correspond and talk to them. Or prove yourself. The experience of an adviser helps some to get rid of their irritability and, in general, problems.
The fourth reason for the occurrence of psychosis lies in any physical abnormalities. For example, with dysfunction of the thyroid gland or with a change in hormonal levels during menopause, bouts of severe irritation and even aggression can occur. Therefore, if you have a temper, you should consult a doctor so that he sends you for a comprehensive examination. If the reason for the changes in your mood is revealed and subsequently it will be eliminated, then you will be able to easily change the pattern of your behavior and become a more calmed personality, who is indifferent to what is happening around her.
How to deal with temper?
The main idea that you should understand if you have a temper tantrums - that you yourself are to blame for the occurrence of this condition. You are used to behaving in this way, and therefore no one will help you change your conduct. After realizing that you are behaving incorrectly, you will take the first step towards peace. The reasons why you are irritable can be different: energies, people, disturbances in the functions of the body, excessive self-conceit and so on. But they are all mechanisms, and the starting point is a pattern of your behavior. Change it, make adjustments, and you will see how easy it is to perceive the environment, without getting dusty for every occasion or without it.
To make it clear to you how to deal with temper in practice, I will give an example from my life. Once I was very annoyed by an Internet friend, he took away a lot of my time, played on my nerves and caused me a great rage. At some point, I realized that such communication harmed me. I did not get anything useful for myself when I spoke with him or corresponded. So I removed it from all the programs through which I kept in touch with him, and breathed a sigh of relief. After all, I then got rid of the irritant. This is an example of how you can change your behavior. Instead of further communicating with an unpleasant person, and then tearing my anger out at close people and strangers, I simply excluded this person from my surroundings and thereby secured a quiet life.
But if there is a temper when dealing with many people? How from her? Work on yourself will help here. First, find something that allows you to relax and be distracted. For example, sedative tablets:
- Glycine;
- Afobazole;
- Tenoten;
- Phenibut;
- Vitrum Superstres;
- Persen;
- Novopassit.
To choose the most suitable drugs for yourself, you should consult a doctor or a pharmacist. Increased hot temper is well treated with zinc tablets (without vitamin C). You need to take one thing three times a day, daily. After about two weeks, calm and absolute indifference to all irritants will appear. When I was very irritable, I was able to quickly get out of the vicious circle of irresistible psychosis only thanks to zinc in tablets.
Doctors who prefer herbs for treating various disorders of the body can also tell how to deal with temper. You will be helped from irritability:
- St. John's wort;
- valerian root;
- coriander seeds;
- motherwort;
- hop cones.
Recipes for making infusions of them are usually indicated on the package. St. John's wort helps me a lot. He makes me sleepy, calm and indifferent to all irritants. Try to drink his infusion or take it in pills and you will surely calm down.
After you choose a means for calming yourself, you should begin to change your usual pattern of behavior. I warn you right away - it will not be easy. How to overcome temper? First, with the next fit of rage, you need to make an effort and force yourself to stop. It is difficult but necessary! It doesn’t matter at what point you are slowing down your thoughts or actions, it is important to just stop and start doing what is unusual for you. For example, you want to flare up and quarrel with someone, stop, think about something else, get distracted by important things. You can do the cleaning at home or in the office. The cause of irritation will be forgotten, and the behavior pattern will be changed. If you do this every time you want to go crazy, then as a result, after about two months, you can get rid of your psychoses.
Some psychologists, who know how to treat irritability and temper, recommend avoiding situations that cause you attacks of aggression. Are you very nervous about people posting on social networks, community posts and forum topics? Avoid such resources, do not communicate with a large number of Internet users. If you do not like what someone writes to you by e-mail or in response to your comment, then just do not respond. It is difficult for an annoying person to understand how one can not respond to irritation. But it is precisely in this that lies the secret of getting rid of temper — it is necessary to change one’s behavior, to move away from active actions to passivity. Are you queuing up on queues? Do not stand in them! Does public transport cause you stress? Find a job near your home or walk.
The most important thing that you should understand is that you do not need to ask yourself the question - how to treat short temper, but rather think about what you can do to change your attitude towards irritants. Do not treat psychoses as if they are, although at times they are precisely felt and perceived. It’s more correct to look for reasons in your reaction to that and those that cause you to react violently. Only by stopping yourself every time you want to “explode” and “tear apart” everyone, you can get out of the vicious circle, find your peace and become estranged from worldly affairs. Plunging into your feelings and emotions, you lose the opportunity to look at the situation soberly and react to it correctly. So, your actions will lead you to a nervous breakdown and subsequent long-term treatment. Do not forget about this and stop all your psychoses at the very beginning of their occurrence. I recommend you go through.
Short temper - a tendency to inadequate, excessive reactions to ordinary stimuli: emotional restraint, explosive irritability; predisposition to anger.
Short-tempered - distraction of the mind for theft of emotions. In a calm state, the mind controls the manifestation of feelings and emotions, and only with temporary insanity, which is the temper, negative destructive emotions flow into space. If the heartbeat increases, the powerful one rises. If you do not slow down in time, you can smoothly go into a state of anger in many of its manifestations, including extreme ones - rage and rage. Having pumped huge energy out of a person, a flash of temper throws him into a state of despondency, exhausted, exhausted, defenseless and gloomy. Short-tempered friends are fervor, passion, anger, lack of balance and irritability.
Losing reason for a while, a person practically does not control himself, becomes limp, so he loses respect in the eyes of others. Hot tempered levels the ability to make the right decisions, pushes to worsen the well-being of a person, provokes problems, leads to hysteria and ends with a sense of shame.
Short temper is characterized by instant jumping from a calm state to an extremely excited, agitated and impulsive. Temperament plays a significant role; it cannot be discounted. Hot temper is a person without “brakes”. Any person hundreds of times a day has to consciously or unconsciously how to react to a particular situation in life. The right to choose is a tremendous gift of fate, an invaluable advantage of a conscious individual. For example, in a tram we were pushed and at the same time impolitely commented on the push. A person has a choice how to react to a situation - to get into a bicker with a tram boor or ignore a provocation. It takes a split second to think about what to do. Temper, unknown for any sins, is devoid of the greatest advantage of the individual - choice rights. She, without a second's doubt, flashes up, sharply raises her voice, tears the “vest” on herself, actively gesticulates, in a word, she is angry with all her urine. In other words, the short temper between the event and the reaction to it lacks a “safety valve” in the form of the right of choice. The irritant, bypassing the filters of consciousness without hindrance, directly affects the sensitive centers of a person, causing an outburst of temper. There is no reason to be short of temper, but there is only one reason - the impossibility and inability to make choices about how to respond to life events.
Any trifle can become the trigger of temper, but, first of all, is anger, fueled by condemnation. Without self-control and mental stability, it is easy for a person to “catch fire” when meeting with ignorance, not wanting to actively listen, constantly interrupting and protesting. stress, overwork, fear and anxiety can be a good springboard for temper. In other words, any object or situation of the external world that is given excessive importance can become a cause of temper.
Short-tempered people have a lot of enemies in the person of humanity, kindness, tolerance, understanding and the Antidote to it is goodwill, wisdom and self-control. She is a fast-passing emotion, and this must be used. It is very important to catch the first instant of temper and not to allow a flame to flare up from a spark. For this person it is necessary, as a child, to distract from the subject of conversation and to keep in the arsenal of improvised means - calm and reconciliation.
The life of a hot-tempered person cannot be called safe. What kind of security can we talk about if a person has no “brakes”. A vivid example of temper - the great artist Caravaggio. A man of violent temperament, rude, bold and independent. The artist’s quick-tempered and unpalatable disposition served as an occasion for constant clashes with others, which often ended in a fight, duel or a sword strike. For this, he was repeatedly prosecuted and imprisoned. In 1606, Caravaggio, in a quarrel that broke out during a ball game, killed his opponent and fled from Rome. Finding himself in Naples, he went from there in search of work to Malta, where, after spending a year, he was admitted to the order thanks to the patronage of the grandmaster, whose portrait he painted. However, for a gross insult to one of the leaders of the Order, Caravaggio was thrown into prison, escaped from it and worked for some time in the cities of Sicily and again in Naples. In the hope of forgiveness of the pope, he went by sea to Rome. Mistakenly arrested by the Spanish border guard, robbed by carriers, the artist develops malaria and dies in 1610, thirty-six years of age.
