How to protect a teenager from bad habits. How to protect a child from bad company

February 2012 brought a sad "harvest" of suicides for adolescents aged 14-15. First, a boy who hanged himself in Yakutsk. Then a boy from Moscow, who jumped from the 14th floor after a quarrel with his parents. Girls from Lobny jumping from the roof. By February 11, the REN-TV channel reported 10 cases in different parts of Russia, but with a sad pattern - all these were students of grades 8-9. Unfortunately, you can’t help these children anymore. Psychologists work with their parents, and some are under investigation on charges of "committing suicide."

The most important thing that we can do now is answer the questions: is it possible to protect our child? And how to recognize that he is ready for the worst - to take his own life?

Why might a teenager want to commit suicide?

1. Difficult relationships in the family, with parents and other close people.

As a rule, we are talking about numerous conflicts, “misunderstanding”, moral or even physical humiliation, disrespect for the personality of the child, his desires and aspirations. Here there is a “conflict of dependent relationships”. A teenager is still very emotionally attached to his parents, but at the same time he is already beginning to realize the need for “separation” from them. A difficult age provokes conflict situations, and if the parents are too harsh, autocratic and cruel, the son or daughter tries to devalue their personalities, cultivating a hostile attitude towards them. But since the identification with the mother and father is still strong, this leads to a decrease in the self-esteem of the adolescent. If the process goes on, life itself depreciates. In this case, suicide can be perceived as the only way to restore the “status quo” and, through it, of one's own value. And if an adult in this situation understands that suicide will not correct the relationship, then the teenager still does not realistically assess the situation. Moreover, he may have a hope that he will be saved "at the last moment", which, unfortunately, is often not justified.

IMPORTANT! Try to be sympathetic to the desires and aspirations of your child. Be respectful. Even if you scold him, do not use offensive epithets, talk only about problematic behavior, about what bothers you. Be sure to discuss what way he sees out of this situation. Do not insult his personality and feelings! If you see that you are not coping, go to the training of parental competence.

2. Unrequited love.

The teenager’s self-esteem suffers significantly if the object of sympathy rejects him, especially after a period of “relationship”. Most - when it is "replaced" by someone else. If attachment is great, then all the same laws of “conflict of dependent relationships” come into force, but only aimed at the object of love.

IMPORTANT! It’s good if you are aware of your child’s “love affairs”. Of course, this is possible with a certain credit of trust and a sufficient degree of intimacy between you. Therefore, try to maintain a respectful relationship between you. In this case, it is likely that, crying on your shoulder, your child will be comforted, and it would not occur to him to say goodbye to life.

3. Humiliation in educational institutions.

Not all adolescents sharply react to the rudeness and disrespectful attitude of teachers. In order to commit suicide for this reason, the educational field must be of paramount importance to him. Strong emotional attachment to teachers is more likely the exception. Therefore, this reason can become the “last straw” if there are insurmountable conflicts in other areas of the child’s life. A suicide note indicating teachers' degrading behavior may be an attempt to cover up the true problem that led to the decision to put an end to life, as well as revenge.

IMPORTANT! Track the relationship between your teenager and teachers. Even if it is “difficult,” do not let it be humiliated. Recommend him a communication training, where he will be able to increase his own social competence and reduce the conflict in communication.

4. The reaction of acute grief.

Adolescents with their emotional instability are at greater risk of suicide on a wave of acute grief than adults. The death of a loved one, friend, loss of home, news of an incurable disease, rape - all these are serious reasons that can lead a teenager to an intolerable situation and a desire to "end everything." An attempt to kill oneself can occur almost at any time during the first year after the incident. If he “did nothing” in the early hours or days, this should not deceive your vigilance.

IMPORTANT! If your teenager has experienced a traumatic situation, consult a psychotherapist for help. In this case, it is especially important that a professional who knows about the stages of passing grief and owns help technologies helps him. Be close to your child, talk with him, provide support, indicate plans for the future. He who sees the future will not commit suicide.

On the way to making a decision

A teenager does not commit suicide right away, especially if it is not about a state of acute grief. In all other cases, he goes a certain way on which he can stop.

The emergence of suicidal thoughts

This is the initial stage when the child begins to “try on” - while still timidly - the opportunity to commit suicide. You can pay attention to the fact that he has an increased interest in everything related to death, that the stories of committed suicides do not cause him a rejection reaction. Suicidal thoughts may appear in jokes on the subject. Of course, a certain amount of “black humor” is present in the speech of each of us. But here is the “critical amount” and the special pleasure received in this case should alert.

Suicidal intentions

If a teenager goes further, he begins to ponder how exactly his death can happen. For example, look for information on the Internet about how suicides are committed. If aesthetics are important to him, he can choose a method so that after his body does not look disgusting. He may even ask his parents about some things related to death. If this topic is raised in his presence, then most likely he can act as an informed theorist. This should alert parents. Be especially attentive to the phrases: “Soon you will have no one to scold”, “There will be no me, there will be no problems” and the like.

Training

At this stage, the person has already made a decision and is preparing for its implementation, finally choosing the method, place and time. At this time, his mood may improve, which often deceives loved ones who may decide that the "crisis has passed." But this is not so: after the decision is made, temporary relief comes. You may be alerted that the child is giving things that are dear to him to someone from his friends, or in some other way he “puts things in order.” He may have a cache in which he will keep something related to future action. At this stage, the teenager can once again warn someone that he will not be soon. It is important not to take this for manipulation and take it seriously!

Exercise

A future suicide may be waiting for “an opportunity”, some kind of the last drop that will fill the cup of patience. For example, it may even be a small next row with parents. They may then be perplexed: nothing special happened! No need to fool yourself: everything has accumulated much earlier. Sometimes, in order not to be so scary, a teenager involves his friend or girlfriend in the action, who can decide on this because of emotional attachment. But the same friend or girlfriend can stop a person who has decided, if they do not have a critical mass of problems.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW!

(R. Shader, 1998)

- most suicides before death share their intentions and sorrows;
- suicide is rarely an impulsive act. More often, it is preceded by a period of preparation, and there are many signs of an increased risk of suicide;
- suicide is usually preceded by attempts to find solace and help, a decision can be made long enough;
- predisposition to suicide is not inherited and is not a character trait, although the risk increases if such cases were in the family or in the circle of friends;
- the improvement that you can observe can be deceiving, and under external calm there can be a firmly made decision, and a certain increase in strength only helps to complete the plan.

Completed suicide is called suicide, which led to death. Incomplete - an “unsuccessful" attempt, as a result of which a person was saved.

“What a commission, creator, to be an adult daughter as a father!” Exclaim not only the fathers, but also the mother, not only the girls, but also the boys. Live Famusov in our time, he would probably say not "adult", but "growing up." After all, there is no more alarming period for parents than the one when his child becomes a teenager.

Here it is: autonomous, but still dependent on your family. Prickly and prickly, but so vulnerable and sensitive. It copies the behavior of adults, but does not always understand what is behind this behavior and where it leads. The first cigarettes, the first alcohol and the first sex. Your child goes to a disco, for a late date, or goes to spend the night at someone's dacha - a world in which there is both good and bad.

A small child, having hit with his knee, runs with a cry to his mother - and it seems that there is nothing more natural in the world than to seek solace from the closest person. But adolescents often do not want to tell their parents anything, even in moments of real danger, even when they really need help and know that their parents will provide it. Why?

Love is to blame. They, teenagers, are not as deaf as they seem to be to parental experiences. And so as not to disturb once again, they try to cope on their own. In psychology, there is such a term “containment” - the ability to listen to and accept someone’s emotions, as if collecting them into oneself, but not becoming infected with them. A teenager needs a “good container” - a parent who can tell, for example, that you were offered to drink beer in a school toilet today and not get a cry and proceedings in return. Let your child tell you everything. Try to pull yourself together and listen to the end. So you will remain in contact with him. So you can find out on time and help, if necessary.

And often teens do not know how. How to say where to start, what words to choose.

It seems to teenagers that talking about some things is simply inappropriate. Parents are silent about this and I will be silent.

Many Russian families lack a culture of talking about sex and sexuality in general, not to mention the risks involved. Therefore, for some parents, the sexual education of their child comes down to intimidation and attempts to keep the child at home. But no matter how hard we try, the moment when a son or daughter will go to a disco until morning or spend the night in another place is inevitable. And therefore, it is important to warn in advance of the unpleasant and the terrible: from sexual violence and abuse.

If you are a parent who is ready to speak on these topics and who is ready to listen to, this is what is important to understand: the problem of sexual violence in our society is systemic. You cannot convince a nail not to go deeper into a board while a hammer hits it. Need to stop the hammer. The best way to avoid violence is to stop the rapist. Therefore, no less, and maybe more than with girls, you need to talk with the boys about how not to become rapists.

What is important to explain to the boys:

1. Sex is what happens between two people who are aware of what they are doing. And only by mutual agreement. This means that having sex with a drunk who does not understand what she is doing, a girl, is rape.

2. Talk with your son about age of consent. The fact that if he is 19 and a girl is 15, then this is sexual activity with a minor. And they are criminally punishable.

3. Many girls want to please guys, but they don’t necessarily want sex. No matter how they behave, no matter how short skirts they appear, clothing itself and flirting behavior are more an invitation to communication, but not to sex. Therefore, "dancing, flirting and kissing" - does not give the right to demand something and assume that the girl agreed to everything.

4. Tell your son about the simple fact of physiology, which not all adults know about: physiological arousal and sexual readiness are not the same in all women. This means that the reference point from the pornographic films “she is all wet” does not mean either desire or readiness for sex, but it can just be a reaction to stress in a specific situation. To understand if a girl wants sex with you, just ask.

5. Speaking of pornography. Unfortunately, many teenagers draw their knowledge from there. Tell your son that porn movies are far from real life. And not everything that is shown there may please the girl.

6. Talk about safe sex. The myth that "having sex in a condom is to smell flowers in a gas mask" has long been outdated. The sex industry does not stand still, and now condoms are made from thin, but durable material. And today, every 50th resident of Russia is HIV-infected, this is not counting other diseases that are transmitted sexually. Add to this the responsibility of becoming a father. Make sure the teenager understands that prevention is an important part of sex life.

7. Finally, discuss with him that sex is not an end in itself or a prize, that it is a pleasure that should be mutual. That it is not necessary to strive for him for the company, and he does not make anyone an adult.

8. Tell your son and daughter about the simple No-Go-Tell-Off rule. Need to say clearly and clearly “No” in response to harassment. Immediately “Go away” - move away from this person, not try to persuade or argue. And “Tell” - immediately tell what is happening to someone, at least a friend. Shyness is inappropriate here. Agree with the child about a special code word that he can utter when you call him, and this will be a signal for you that he needs to go and help out.

What is important to explain to girls:

1. Explain to your daughter that rapists are not special people. They are no different from everyone else and may even be those whom you know and whom you trust: friends of friends, acquaintances of parents. You need to be careful, even if you are in the company of friends. Better yet, tell someone close to where you will be. For safety reasons.

2. Agree with your daughter that she can always send you a specific SMS, after which you immediately go to the rescue.

3. Tell us that every second woman faces sexual harassment in Russia. Therefore, the ability to say “no” - clearly, clearly, loudly and without a smile - is a very important skill. That politeness and obedience, which they try to bring up in girls, are inappropriate here.

4. Tell the girl that, unfortunately, some guys think that the girl needs to be sexually abused. Therefore, if someone presses on it and tries to force it, the No-Go-Tell-It rule should work.

5. Caution your daughter against aggressive, assertive and always confident guys. Guys who talk about women in a humiliating and contemptuous manner. Even if personally your daughter, this guy claims that she is not. That jealousy is not a sign of adoration at all, but a sign of his self-doubt and desire to control you, and these are the features of the future, if not a rapist, then a domestic tyrant.

6. Ask your daughter to be careful with drunk and generally poorly controlling people.

7. Talk to her about trust. A lot of teenagers feel uncomfortable at parties, but solidarity with their peers and the desire to be like everyone else prevent them from leaving. Talk about listening to yourself more often.

8. Take the girl to self-defense courses for women or Krav Magu (a kind of hand-to-hand combat). Many girls are lost when they first encounter physical impact, so the skill to mobilize and respond will definitely not be amiss.

Yes, makeup, high heels and short skirts can attract attention, but statistics inexorably show that they become victims of sexual violence regardless of appearance, age and time of day. Therefore, the most important preventive measure is to instill in the girl respect for her own boundaries. As well as in the boy. How? By example.

When your child shouts “no” and slams the door of the room in front of your nose, remember that this skill is very useful to him in life. Never rush in, but knock and ask permission to enter. Try to hear it “no” and listen to it yourself - and then your child in the future is more likely to be filtered out by potential rapists who are trying to break boundaries. And this is the best thing you can do for a child.

Any parents want to see their child a successful, happy and decent person. But sometimes something goes wrong, and the child is associated with bad company. Naturally, this leads to disastrous consequences. What to do to prevent a teenager from being affected by bad company?

Causes

Why is looking for communication with similar companies? There can be many reasons. But here are the main ones:
the child does not have enough attention in the family- if the parents are constantly busy, communicate a little or practically do not pay attention to the child, then he seeks to get him in another place, namely: in the company;

novelty of emotions - if the family pays a lot of attention to the rules and various prohibitions, then over time the child will get bored and if he sees how other children behave (swear, fight), such behavior will seem to him more interesting, unusual and more attractive than constant observance rules;

uncertainty - if a teenager is timid and not confident in himself, then the bully seems credible to him. After all, he is not afraid of anyone. Moreover, the child does not think that such behavior is possibly caused by the bully inferiority complex. A teenager only sees an external mask and believes in it. He begins to copy the behavior of such hooligans or to be friends with them, and all because he hopes to become as confident and courageous;

adult misconduct - A child can take revenge on parents if, in his opinion, they behave incorrectly. And revenge will be expressed precisely in communication with a bad company;

misunderstanding in the family - if the parents do not listen to the opinion of the teenager, do not understand it, the child has no choice but to seek understanding on the street;

low self-esteem - if a child considers himself ugly, stupid, etc., then he can contact a bad company, as he will believe that they will not take him to another. In addition, in a similar company, other children will treat him with fear and reverence, which means that self-esteem will increase;

- if adults do not want to take into account the opinion of the child, make an unfair decision (according to the teenager), he protests this way - by contacting a bad company;

admiration for similar companies- Bad companies often look attractive in the eyes of other children and are informal leaders. A teenager can admire such guys and strive to get to them in the company, then the illusion of his involvement in something important is created;

excessive custody - if the child cannot even take a step without parental approval, this leads to the fact that the teenager seeks to escape from such guardianship. As a result, he may fall into bad company.

So, first you need to find out the reasons why the child was or may get into bad company. And then to act.

How can parents deal with the situation?

Naturally, it is important to act in accordance with the reasons that prompted the teenager to behave in this way. That is, if the child does not have enough attention, communicate more with him and spend time together. If parents understand that they usually don’t listen to the child’s opinion, change their behavior. And if adults recognize themselves as overly caring parents, it is worth giving the child more freedom and independence.

You can save a child from bad company if you communicate with him a lot, spend time together, share experiences, listen to his opinion and trust him.

Here are some more useful tips:

it is important to be an example for a child- not only in how to behave correctly, but also how to have fun, how to communicate;
find a teenager more interesting activities - sports sections, various circles, creative master classes will allow not only to learn something interesting, but also to make new friends;
spend leisure time with the whole family - It is not necessary to do this every day or every weekend. However, at least a couple of times a month you can all go camping together, on a picnic, on a ski trip, play volleyball or snowballs;
give your child more freedom - the teenager is important. Therefore, one should not constantly interfere in his life;
increase self-esteem- if a teenager has problems with self-esteem, it is necessary to increase it. For example, to find something in which he succeeds or can succeed and help the child or guide him. In addition, more often to praise a teenager and give him instructions that he can perform, and which are really important and not too easy. This will help the child become more self-confident;
the trust - In a relationship, trust is very important. If a child has been accustomed from childhood to share his thoughts and feelings with his parents, and his parents have always listened carefully to him, then there is hardly a problem with the influence of a bad company;
if the child has already contacted a bad company- Do not constantly scold and blame him. It is better to gently and accurately convey to the teenager why it is better not to communicate with such guys, moreover, the child should think that he has come to this thought on his own.

Parents should carefully guide the child, not force or order.

Each kid, passing into this beautiful world, does not carry a bad intention. But why, then, does your child, at eight, ten, thirteen, fifteen years old, suddenly make new friends that adults have never heard of? Why do these new friends instantly become closer and more necessary for the baby than parents? Why does the baby, on every occasion, eat to run away from home to these Denis, Marinas, and Petam?

Teachers say that it is not uncommon for a teenager to make friends with that child who owns unusual traits of character. In other words, a shy, sandwiched and insecure daughter walks on the heels of the one who, in her 14 years, passed water and fire. And the fearful kid begins to be friends with a desperate and brave, silent - with a talker, obedient and quiet with a bully. Naturally, adults, having learned about such friendship, begin to worry: will they not manipulate their baby, use for their own purposes? Will he turn from tikhoni into a hard-to-manage teenager?

Ways to resolve the problem - how to protect your child from bad company

It’s a pity, but many parents make the same mistake in such situations: they strictly forbid the teenager to be friends and play with specific children. What do you think, in this way you can achieve results? Maybe in some situations it is possible - if your child’s authority is higher than the authority of a school or yard informal leader. But, it’s not uncommon for children to start doing things in spite, especially in Their contradictions rule them. Often the baby just stops telling you. Where about was. What have you been doing. You become little informed; do you need it? “Secret”, “shadow” friendship is very suspicious, it smells of interesting adventures. And which kid will refuse fun adventures and the opportunity to lead a shadow life? It can be very difficult to distract a teenager, tear him away from friends in such a situation.

A simpler and more effective way is to allow the baby to be friends with all friends. Do it from the heart, no matter how hard it is. You can’t be biased towards new friends: what if he was only at first so conflicted, uncontrollable, ruffy, but in fact - a wonderful person whose character traits really complement the character traits of your teenager? Look at these friends with different eyes and try to find something good and attractive in them, because your teenager saw something in them. And if, indeed, teenage criminals came to visit, do not worry and do not drive them out if you have already let them in. Explain your teenager the right decision. There is one important point that can reassure you: it’s not uncommon, childhood friendships are fleeting. After winter or summer holidays, children find other friends, but they may not even remember old ones. Wait a while - maybe the situation itself will "resolve".

"Switching interests"

Maybe your teenager doesn’t have enough hobbies in life, and there, in the company, they offer him mutual assistance, “friendship to the grave,” risky adventures. Some children try to ride in electric trains and buses with hares, driving far from home. Of course, this is interesting! Some people like to sing with a guitar, bake potatoes, sit on a vacant lot in front of a bonfire. It’s scary to others to ride motorbikes - you cannot be a wimp! Opportunities to get a sharp sensation and self-affirm - mass.

Try to find an activity for the teenager that could fully satisfy the craving for interesting adventures. After all, you have as many opportunities as in others! There are sports sections - not only volleyball and football, but also karts, karate, boxing. It is better for the child to climb the rocks under the supervision of an instructor, and jump with a parachute, than to disappear, it is not known where and with whom. There are also clubs in which speleology, archeology, mountaineering and hiking are involved, they look for traces of ruined cities, go down to caves, and want to go camping ... Romance? Risk? Yes it is - but it is an organized adventure!

What about scouts? After all, your teenager will definitely appreciate the loyalty and brotherhood of scouts - and this will be your victory. In other words, poke your own mind, find out what circles and sections exist in your city - and go! Do not worry if it does not work out the first time. After all, maybe your kid does not like to climb mountains, but is more attracted to competitions in the pool or scuba diving. Not infrequently, he himself does not know what he really wants - in this situation, help him choose the type of entertainment.

What if the teenager is already in bad company?

It is bad if a bad company dragged the child into their nets. There are many situations when a group crime is committed by children from wealthy families, and it is difficult for them to explain why they did this. “The effect of the crowd”, “herd instinct” - such concepts were invented by experienced psychologists to this phenomenon. This is a powerful force that is difficult to resist. If a similar situation has occurred, the task of adults is to find the reason. It is not uncommon for such a company to turn out to be a teenager who feels like an outcast, an outcast - they despise the class, do not understand at home ... What else can he do? Just make friends in spite of everyone with different hooligans: be surprised and envy!

Try to probe the soil: is the teenager really comfortable with such friends, or is he doing it to spite everyone. Probably, he himself is not very pleased with the situation in which he found himself? But she’s afraid to ask for your help. In such a situation, you need to let him know that you will not punish him and scold him - no matter what happens. The child must be sure that his parents will understand him and accept anyone.

If your home does not have parental trust, then adult prohibitions can play an unfavorable role - pushing a teenager to someone whom he can trust more. Therefore, the best way to protect a teenager from bad friends and unwanted communication is through friendly and trusting relationships in the family. Such a relationship should begin with the birth of the baby. But, and if you are late - it has never been too late to rectify the situation, put your relationship on the right track. You can make friends with a child even when they are adults - of course, this will not be such a friendship.

The more witnesses there is in someone else’s misfortune,

the less likely the victim is to get help.

B.Labane.

Tasks: show parents on the example of statistics the relevance of the discussed problem;

discuss with parents possible ways out of difficult life situations.

Form: parent discussion club.

Issues for discussion: statistics of the discussed problem; analysis of parents' opinions on the problem of violence and cruelty; possible ways to prevent violence and cruelty towards children.

Preparatory work: questioning of children and parents; situations for analysis by parents; class hour on meeting issues; exhibition of a poster addressing peers; preparation of memos for parents.

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Parent meeting in the 6th grade “How to protect a teenager from violence and cruelty”

The more witnesses there is in someone else’s misfortune,

The less likely the victim is to get help.

B.Labane.

Tasks: show parents on the example of statistics the relevance of the discussed problem;

Discuss with parents the possible ways out of difficult life situations.

Form: parent discussion club.

Issues for discussion: statistics of the discussed problem; analysis of parents' opinions on the problem of violence and cruelty; possible ways to prevent violence and cruelty towards children.

Preparatory work: questioning of children and parents; situations for analysis by parents; class hour on meeting issues; exhibition of a poster addressing peers; preparation of memos for parents.

The course of the meeting.

1. Introduction by the class teacher.

Over the past decades in Russia, including Kalmykia, profound changes have occurred in all areas: economics, politics, social structure. Raising a child, taking care of his health and well-being is a laborious process that requires a lot of strength and patience from parents. As practice shows, even in prosperous families where parents have sincere love and affection for their children, such forms of influence on the child as corporal punishment, intimidation, depriving the child of communication or walking can be used in the educational process. Moreover, most parents are well aware that such a tactic of education is a violation of the rights of their children, as well as the reason for possible deviations in the mental and physical development of the child. The situation of the child in families with a lower level of culture, in families where the child becomes a burden, rather than the joy of life, is much worse. The above methods of education, which for the first group of families are rather the exception, are becoming the norm here. The situation is even more aggravated if one or both parents are addicted to alcoholism or drug addiction, or if the family is in constant financial difficulty. Therefore, the problem of violence and cruel treatment of children in the family today is the issue that must not only be discussed, but also taken measures to resolve it.

The United Nations, in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, in the Declaration of the Rights of the Child, has proclaimed that children, due to their physical and mental immaturity, have the right to special care and assistance, including appropriate legal protection. Support should be included for the child and those who care for him, prevention and detection, investigation and treatment of cases of child abuse, and, if necessary, the initiation of legal proceedings.

The relevance of the prevention of child abuse is related to the fact that violence against children or neglect of their basic needs have a negative impact on the child’s mental development, disrupt his socialization, and cause neglect and juvenile delinquency. Many children - victims of violence - leave home or child care facilities, become involved in antisocial behavior, and start drinking alcohol or drugs. The most effective way to protect children from abuse is early prevention. In those cases when a child suffered from some form of violence, he needs psychological help, since the results of psychologists' studies convincingly indicate that the violence suffered in childhood is inevitably accompanied by emotional and behavioral disorders. The sooner dysfunctional families and children in them are identified, the more effective the preventive work will be organized, the higher the likelihood of preventing child abuse in the blood family.

Child abuse as a social phenomenon has the ability to reproduce: children who have experienced violence become adults who abuse their own children.

The need to protect the child from all forms of abuse, from neglect of his interests, from exploitation becomes the requirement of time and certain knowledge in identifying various forms of violence and the consequences associated with them. Indeed, the safety of children largely depends on what we advise children on, what we will teach. And it is precisely on the basis of our advice that you will behave in a difficult situation. It is in our power to make sure that these difficult situations do not arise at all. We’ll talk about this today.

Statistics on the topic of the meeting.

Analyzing the topic of appeals to the Ombudsman for the Rights of the Child in the Republic of Kalmykia, it should be noted that compared to 2011, when citizens were primarily concerned about violations of children's rights to protection from all forms of violence and violations of housing rights of minors, in 2012 they came first issues of violation of the child’s right to reside and communicate with parents.

	Theme of appeals
	Violation of the child’s rights to live with parents, their upbringing and care, as well as the right to treatment of parents and other relatives.	22,9
	On assisting families in difficult situations and socially dangerous situations.
	Violation of children's rights in educational institutions, social protection institutions, medical institutions.
	Violation of children's rights from all forms of violence

An indicator of the social disadvantage of society is the presence of crimes committed against children. In 2012, a total of 128 crimes committed against children were recorded in Kalmykia (242 in 2011). Suicide is considered a violation of the right to life. In 2012, the level of their attempts compared to 2011 decreased by half - 17 versus 34 in 2011. Two attempts were completed.

The main reason for children leaving home is the contradiction with adults. In the regional wanted list in 2012, there were 16 children. All children were found. Despite active preventive measures to reduce crime against children, the criminal situation in 2012 remained unfavorable. Thus, the child’s right to protection from all forms of violence, provided for in Article 19 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child, is not fully respected.

2. Analysis of questionnaires and class hours on the issue of the meeting.

The classroom hour “Childhood without cruelty and violence” is held in advance, and the real situations of today's life are discussed at the beginning with students, and then with parents. This will help the class teacher find out the students' awareness of the issues raised. During the class hour, the guys discuss the rules of behavior on the street, in the porch, in the family, where they may be at risk, make drawings of dangerous situations that they have already encountered in life. These drawings are used during the parent meeting.

Student profiles

1 .If you stayed alone in the apartment and someone rang your doorbell, what will you do?

You open the door.

Ask for the name of the person standing outside the door.

You will not respond, imitating that nobody is at home.

Call your neighbors or parents.

2 .If you are alone at home and people are ringing your door, calling yourself specialists of various services, asking to open the door, what will you do?

You open the door.

- You pretend that nobody is in the house.

Call parents or people you know.

You start screaming and making noise.

3. If you hear someone open the door of your apartment, what will you do?

You will wait for the one who enters it.

You ask who is there.

Tell your parents.

4 .If a stranger approaches you on the street, what will you do?

You will enter into conversation with him.

Silently step aside.

You will go where people are.

You will begin to make noise in order to attract the attention of strangers.

5 . If strangers come up to you in the yard and invite you to go somewhere with them, what will you do?

Accept their offer.

Deny them.

Contact your family and ask them for permission.

You promise to meet them another time.

6 .If you want to enter the porch, and one or several strangers follow you, what will you do?

You won’t go to the porch.

You will meet friends or neighbors and then you will go to the staircase.

Go to the nearest pay phone or call your parents on a cell phone.

Walk past your house and go where there are more people.

7 .If you enter the porch and see one or several strangers there, what will you do?

You will leave the entrance immediately.

You go quietly up the stairs home.

Call any apartment.

You start calling for help.

Questioning parents

1. Do you tell your child that he can be abused?

2 .How do you teach your child to prevent violence against yourself and fight it?

3. Does your child know emergency numbers?

4. Do you comment on programs on combating violence and abuse of children for your child?

5. What self-defense rules are known to your child?

6. Do you know how and with whom your child spends free time?

7. Can you guarantee that a teenager will not be subjected to violence and abuse when communicating with those people with whom he spends his free time?

8. Where, in your opinion, can a teenager be abused?

3.Analysis of situations.

Situations are read to parents, and they offer their options for resolving them.

Situations for analysis by parents.

Parents are offered to analyze real life situations. It is necessary not only to propose a solution to the problem, but also to come up with possible suggestions on how to prevent such situations.

Situation 1. A teenager who always went to school without any problems suddenly became gloomy, a joyful mood was replaced by sullenness and unwillingness to go to school. Parents could not understand the reason for the change in mood. Only after some time they learned that on the way to school adult children demand money from him. In order not to be beaten, the teenager gave them all the money his parents gave him for breakfast.

Situation 2 .Random parents discovered bruises on the girl’s body. For a long time, parents figured out the reason for their origin. What they heard plunged their parents into shock. It turned out the girl was sexually abused by adolescents. They beat and ordered to be silent for resistance, threatening to tell all the girl’s parents.Situation 3. The boy hurried to school. She was not far from home, so the parents of the child did not see off. This time he left the house a little later and was a bit late. A car stopped next to him and the man sitting behind the wheel offered to drive him to school. The temptation was great, I really wanted to drive a beautiful car. The trip turned into a tragedy ...

Situation 4 . A schoolchild is teased, called offensive nicknames in the yard and in the classroom. He refuses to go to school. Parents go to the children to understand. For a while, everything calms down, and then the bullying is repeated and becomes even more sophisticated.

Situation 5 . The girl is asked to spend a day off at the cottage of her friend. Parents do not allow her to be outside the house all day, giving various arguments, including the possibility of violence of any kind. The girl is outraged, she ceases to communicate with her parents, ignores their demands, laughs at their suspiciousness and foresight ...

Discussion of memos proposed by the class teacher.

Memo for parents.

Dear Parents!

In life, a person meets not only good, but also evil, acquires not only positive, but also negative life experience. Good heals the heart, evil hurts the body and soul, leaving scars and scars for life. Remember these simple rules in our difficult life ...

1. Discuss with a teenager the question of the help of various services in a life-threatening situation.

2. Speak with him those phone numbers that he should use in a situation involving a risk to life.

3. Give him your work phone numbers, as well as the phone numbers of people you trust.

4. Educate your child in the habit of telling you not only about your achievements, but also about anxieties, doubts, fears.

5. Do not disregard every difficult situation, analyze with it.

6. Discuss with your child examples of resourcefulness and courage of people who managed to get out of a difficult life situation.

7. Do not be ironic over a child if in some situation he is weak physically and mentally. Help him and support him, indicate possible solutions to the problem.

8. If the problems are only related to the fact that your child is physically weak, write him in the section of any fight or other related to sports, and be interested in his successes.

9.If any of your friends and acquaintances causes you concern about your child, check your doubts and do not communicate with this person anymore.

10. Do not be late with the answers to your child's questions on various physiological problems, otherwise other people may answer them.

11. Try to ensure that the child from early childhood shows responsibility for their actions and for making decisions.

12. Teach your child to anticipate the consequences of his actions, form his need to pose the question: “What will happen if? ..”

13. In no case do not leave unresolved problems regarding the preservation of the physical and mental health of your child.

Analysis of students' drawings prepared by them for the class hour.

A review of pedagogical literature on the problem of assembly.

4. Summing up.

Preventive work is needed with students, their parents, and teachers on the basis of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (dated 05.12.1989), the Constitution of the Russian Federation, the Family Code of the Russian Federation, Federal Law of 24.07.1998 No. 124 “On basic guarantees of the rights of the child in the Russian Federation ", Law of the Republic of Kalmykia dated 01.04.2011 No. 254-IV-З" On the Commissioner for the Rights of the Child in the Republic of Kalmykia ".

Preventive work is designed to provide a single integrated approach to resolving situations related to child abuse. Create conditions for the effective functioning of the system of prevention of child abuse. Preventive work should be carried out in the following areas:

Organizational work

Diagnostic work,

Preventive work with students,

Preventive work with parents and teachers.

Preventive work with parents and teachers provides for the establishment of an unused reserve of family education, finding ways of optimal pedagogical interaction between the school and the family, including the family in the educational process through the system of parental meetings, school-wide events with children and parents, the work of the School Council. Preventive work is carried out by the school administration (with the involvement of interested departments), class teachers, a social teacher, and a psychologist. Preventive work with parents:

1) legal education of parents;

2) identification of socially dangerous families, socially unprotected families and putting them on intra-school control;

3) visiting families at the place of residence, submitting applications to the CPA;

4) conducting parental education:

“Prevention of family abuse”
"Psychological and pedagogical features of a minor"
“Creating an emotional field in relationships”
“Rights and obligations of the family”
"The reason for children's suicides"
“Prevention of offenses and crimes (Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Family Code of the Russian Federation. Administrative Code of the Russian Federation)”
“Rights, duties, responsibilities of parents and minors”
“Prevention of adverse relationships in the family and society”
“Parenting in a family. Problems of internal and external communication of the family ”and others.

Bibliography:

1. Directory of social educator. Shishkovets T.A. M., WACO, 2005-2008 p. (Pedagogy. Psychology. Management).

2. Age psychology. Lecture course edited by Professor N.F. Dobrynina.

3. Social work of the school with the family. V.N. Gurov. Pedagogical Society of Russia, Moscow 2002.

4. Social psychology. Edited by Academician A.P. USSR A.V. Petrovsky.

5. Psychology of high school students. I.S. Con

6. System of work for the prevention of juvenile delinquency in

educational institutions. G.A. Romashkina, Volgograd 2006.

7. International Convention on the Rights of the Child (dated 05.12.1989)

8. The Constitution of the Russian Federation.

9. Family Code of the Russian Federation.

10. Report on the observance and protection of the rights, freedoms and legitimate interests of the child in the Republic of Kalmykia in 2012.