How do you know if you are empat? What is empathy and is it possible to live without it.

Do you perceive other people very closely, as if your own? You may have aroused empathy! Find out how to check it out!

What is empathy and how does it occur?

Empathy (empathy) ¹ - the ability to subtly feel the emotions of the other as their own. People who can do this are called empaths. Empath is one who feels the emotions and feelings of others. Empathy is sometimes accompanied by ability.

Naturally, people acquire this ability in two cases:

1. They are born empaths.

2. This gift awakens on its own during growing up and socialization.

Empathy is a great gift if you know how to use it correctly. Not all empaths are able to control the ability consciously - in most cases this happens unconsciously.

Many people sometimes “catch” the sensations of other people. In most cases, the gift of empathy is not recognized: by the logical mind, such manifestations are explained as ordinary psychology or spontaneous NLP².

Signs of Super Ability

If something like this happened in your life, and you suddenly felt unusual emotions for yourself, it is quite possible that it was a feeling received from another person - empathy is manifested!

Until you learn to manage and control this, you will absorb other people's emotions and experience them as your own.

There are several signs that a person is an empath:

1. Empathists feel the suffering in the world on a large scale and want to somehow help the world.

2. It is difficult for them to look at someone else's pain, because it feels like its own.

3. It’s hard for people with this ability to watch disturbing news: they feel all the suffering and then they can’trecover.

For example, it is enough to watch a news report about a disaster or some kind of disaster anywhere in the world, and such a person can feel pain (psychological, and sometimes physical) from this event.

4. Empaths find it difficult to find themselves and fully realize their own feelings.

For example, during a conversation with another person, people with the gift of empathyfeel his emotions and feelings. Often, they know the answers to their vital questions, but at the same time do not find the answer to theirs.

5. Often empathy can make a person shy, because he knows very well what the other feels and what he wants.

6. If a person does not know how to control his ability, he may lose critical perception. Such people always say “yes” to all requests and requirements, without thinking about whether they need it, whether they really want it.

Empath is so immersed in the experience of another person, knowing what he needs, that he can not say no. And only then he realizes that he did not think about himself and his desires.

7. People with empathy help others at their own expense.

8. Empaths love at a distance just as if a loved one was nearby.

9. They feel a deep intimacy with nature, animals and plants.

Such people are able to feel not only people, but also animals, for example, meeting a dog or a cat on the street.

10. Empath feels responsible for what other people feel, trying to help them feel better.

11. Such people are very sensitive: relationships and friendships may be taken too close to the heart.

12. Because of empathy and inability to manage it, they often become an outlet for other people to dump their emotions on them.

13. While reading a book or watching a movie, an empath is very emotionally experiencing events, is almost completely identified with the characters.

14. Because of the constant load, people with this gift forget what it means to have fun and enjoy life.

15. Empathy, usually deeply spiritual people: the gift of empathyallows you to feel the unity of all being.

If you are close to many of the above signs, it means that you have the ability to empathy!

Answer the following questions:

Can you control this gift?
Are you able to share your own and others' experiences?
Are you able to manage your gift, “including” it only when you need it?

If you answered yes, then you yourself learned to control your gift of empathy; otherwise, you need to learn how to manage empathy: in the notes to this article there is a link to useful material on developing control over empathy.

Notes and feature articles for a deeper understanding of the material.

¹ Empathy - a conscious empathy with another person’s current emotional state without losing the feeling of the external origin of this experience (Wikipedia).

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Empathy is the ability to experience other people's emotions no less vividly than their own. Despite the fact that in psychology the presence of such an ability is considered the norm, some people (empaths) are gifted with it to a greater extent. According to scientists, this category can include about 20% of the world's population.

The intensity of empathy is different for different empaths. It can be expressed in the usual ability to delve into the state of the interlocutor, and in complete immersion in other people's emotions. Some empaths are so sensitive that the negative feelings of other people cause them physical discomfort.

Today we will talk about those signs with which you can determine your ability to empathy.

Source: depositphotos.com

Sensitivity to incongruent behavior

Communicating among themselves, people use not only words. The meaning of our speech is emphasized and confirmed by the tonality of the voice, loudness, articulation, facial expressions, gestures and postures (the so-called body language). If a person is insincere, these signals are poorly correlated with each other. This behavior is called incongruent.

Due to the peculiarities of perception, an empath is extremely accurate, although unconsciously, reads such discrepancies and feels any falsehood. In the company of a person who behaves incongruently, he experiences a distinct discomfort. In people with strong empathy, communication with liars, bouncers, envious persons or hypocrites can provoke an accelerated heartbeat, shortness of breath, headache and a sense of anxiety.

Avoiding a society of negative people

Intolerance to aggression

Empaths do not tolerate any conflict situations. They are deprived of mental balance not only by direct aggression of others, but also by too noisy behavior, especially if it is dictated by emotions such as outrage, anger, or anger.

A person with the ability to empathy, as a rule, is calm, friendly and attentive. He always tries to resolve the contradictions peacefully and does not accept violence.

Emotional perception of other people's troubles

Empath takes other people's troubles to heart. He reacts equally acutely to the pain of a familiar person, the misfortune seen in the television report, and the unhappiness of the characters in the feature film. Of course, he understands that these are different things, but all situations of this kind cause him a strong surge of negative emotions.

Discomfort with an excess of emotions

A person with a strong ability for empathy can hardly tolerate any emotional excesses. He is hurt not only by someone else's grief, but also by an excess of positive. For example, an empath may be uncomfortable attending a noisy celebration, because loud noise, bright light and an abundance of fun people quickly tire him.

Painful perception of criticism

Empaths are usually cautious and restrained in communicating with other people and in expressing their own feelings. They are afraid of hitting someone, creating a conflict or simply incomprehensible situation for others. In response to their own delicacy, they expect similar behavior from other people. Therefore, the tendency to empathy is often combined with excessive sensitivity to criticism: any negative assessment offends the empathy, even if it is expressed mildly.

Empathic ability can be measured. Psychologists do this with questionnaires, the most famous of which (“The Level of Empathy”) was developed by Sally Wilright and Simon Baron-Cohen in 2004.

It may seem that a high level of empathy is “uncomfortable” and can complicate a person’s life. Fortunately, this is not so. Most empaths eventually get used to a special perception of the world and develop a behavior style that helps them maintain physical and mental health. Constantly feeling someone else's pain as your own, of course, is not too pleasant, but it is atone for the opportunity to understand other people, the ability to listen to them and provide the necessary assistance. A person with such talent is usually universally respected. Those around him love and appreciate him, although they do not always know how to protect him from unnecessary stress.

Empathy is very important for people who work as doctors, psychologists, teachers, social workers. It is this quality that creates the basis of emotional recovery, without which no creative activity is possible. A successful ad creator, insurance agent, or sales manager must be an empathist. We can say that in a world based on close interaction between people, the ability to empathy positively affects the social realization of a person.

Video from YouTube on the topic of the article:

Which of us did not adopt the feelings of a loved one during a heart-to-heart conversation. The ability to adapt to the mood and emotional state of the interlocutor is an important feature of socialization of a person. This sensory manifestation is called empathy.

Definition

Empathy is a conscious empathy with a person’s emotional state while maintaining an understanding of the external origin of the source of feeling. In simple words, the phenomenon in question can be explained as the ability to understand and feel other people's emotions, to enter the position of another.

The term is of Greek origin. The meaning of the word empathy from it can be translated as "in suffering, feelings, passions." In modern scientific circulation, the term was introduced by the psychologist-experimenter E.B. Titchener at the end of the 19th century.

Sigmund Freud at the beginning of the 20th century described empathy as a process of assessing the patient’s mental state, projecting this state onto himself, trying to understand these emotions and feelings through comparison with his feelings. Its main feature is the lack of involvement in any emotion, as occurs with compassion.

The main types and levels

Types of empathy in psychology:

Emotional This view is based on mechanical projection and imitation of the motor and affective reactions of the interlocutor. Mechanical projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which internal feelings are perceived as coming from outside. It manifests itself in the form of attributing to the interlocutor his feelings and emotions with the conviction that this sensation comes from external influence, and not from the inside. Under motor reactions understand small motor operations that accompany the action, communication. Affective reaction - violent emotional action, a sharp change in state.
Cognitive. This controlled empathy is based on processes of an intellectual nature: comparison, analogy, opposition.
Predicative. Empathy, which is the ability to predict the affective reactions of the interlocutor.

There are several special forms of empathic behavior:

empathy - the identification of the emotional feelings of the interlocutor;
empathy (compassion) - a form of expression of the state in response to the experiences of another person.

Psychological levels of empathy:

High (third). Increased empathy is manifested in the fact that a person deeply empathizes with the condition of others. Often this inclusion is on the verge of losing control. It is quite rare.
Medium (second). The level at which a person has the ability to manage empathy, but erects his own feelings in the first place. Medium empathy is characteristic of most modern people. Other people's feelings and emotions do not matter for their lives. The main thing is the process of action, and not the emotional subtext of these actions.
Low (first). The level is characterized by indifference, indifference to the condition of other people. Such people usually have problems with socialization, they are unsociable, lead a hermit lifestyle, they have no friends and relatives.

Separately, it is worth mentioning a group of people who use controlled empathy for professional purposes (doctors, teachers, actors, writers, employees of special public services, etc.). Such people seek to develop controlled empathy to achieve professional goals.

Empathy, sympathy and reflection

For a deeper understanding of the phenomenon of controlled empathy, it is necessary to define processes that are closely related to it.

Compassion is an integral element of empathy, manifested in the expression of his attitude to the suffering of another person.

Identification is a conscious psychological and emotional behavior, which manifests itself in a complete identification with the state of another person, a group of people. It is often a psychological defense mechanism in adverse conditions.

Reflection - awareness of oneself, one’s consciousness. It manifests itself in values, motives, interests, worldview, behavioral patterns, thinking, emotional response. All these personality structures are formed due to the awareness of actions, their rethinking and structuring.

In simple words, reflection is not easy to know a person about something, but knowledge about this knowledge. This definition of the phenomenon was given by the famous philosopher and theologian P.T. de Chardin. In the context of the problem under consideration, reflection differs from empathy in that the person completely dissolves in the problem, the interlocutor’s experiences, leaving no room for his own I. With empathy, a clear distinction is made between guided empathy and one’s own feelings.

Manifestations in life

The phenomenon under consideration plays an essential role in the life of every person. It manifests itself in various fields of activity.

Medical assessment

In medicine, empathy is understood as the meaning of the psychological term “empathic listening”. The last term refers to an understanding of the emotional state of the interlocutor and a demonstration of this understanding. Often manifests itself when the doctor interrogates the patient. The doctor, using the empathic mechanism, understands the condition of the patient, and the latter sees this in the behavior, emotions of the doctor.

In medicine, empathy helps to obtain the most objective information about the feelings and thoughts of the patient. Sensing understanding, people open up, express feelings more vividly, talk about the condition in detail and sincerely.

The ability to empathy in varying degrees is inherent in all healthy people.

Psychological assessment

What is empathy in psychology: the normal emotional state of a person in relevant situations. There are several methods for determining its level. Procedures have been created to capture individual manifestations of this ability.

When characterizing the psychological aspects of empathy, the understanding of the external origin of the state is preserved, that is, the empathic person clearly realizes that the feelings of the partner are reflected on him. If this does not happen, the condition is referred to identification with the interlocutor.

An empathizing person clearly delineates his internal, personal feelings and sensations that arise in response to the emotions of the interlocutor. This perception allows you to actively use empathy for a greater disclosure of the experience, the internal state of the patient.

Pedagogical assessment

Empathy is a key aspect of socialization, so pedagogy pays great attention to its development. The key problem of the modern educational process is the lack of established, trusting, respectful relations between teachers and students. And the responsibility lies with an adult - a teacher. Teachers do not know how to take the position of their students to understand the problems. Lack of understanding affects all levels: intellectual, emotional and social.

School is not only a tool for transferring initial knowledge to young people, but also an institution of personality formation, which should adapt to a full life in society. Without empathy, this cannot be achieved, so the teacher should, by his example, develop conscious empathy in children.

Scientific grade

From the point of view of physiology, empathy is perceived as the ability to reflect the action and condition of other creatures through the activation of special mirror neurons. It is known that parts of the amygdala and cerebral cortex are responsible for the feeling of empathy. People with damage to these areas are unable to empathy in a controlled manner, they do not capture the emotions and feelings of other people in the process of communication.

Empathy and art

The importance of empathy in art is difficult to overestimate. Empathy is important everywhere: in music, painting, writing, theater and cinema. For those who create and create, controlled empathy allows you to create masterpieces. The composer captures the mood of the world, people and creates the appropriate musical composition. The writer plunges into the world of heroes of his works to convey the mood in the story. Theater and film actors understand the internal state of their character.

Empathy is no less important for the viewer. Empathy allows you to isolate the mood of music from a set of sounds. An empathic person feels the feelings of the heroes of stories, productions and films. Such people are able to empathize, but they understand the staging of the ongoing action.

Characteristic

Empathy is common to all healthy people, so it is neutral in nature. But the depth of manifestation of states of controlled empathy can be positive or negative. It all depends on the situation.

The manifestation of empathy is due to various signals:

actions;
speech;
facial expressions;
gestures.

pros

Empathy is necessary for full socialization. A sense of controlled empathy is formed in childhood when a child sees an adult, parent or other close person participating in his condition. This behavior is adopted. Empathic states make it easier to find a common language, to feel involved in the life of the family, community, others, countries, nations.

Owning empathy brings significant benefits in the profession. The ability to adapt to the state of the interlocutor is important in negotiations, professional sales, networking and contacts.

Minuses

A high level of empathy often has a negative effect on the bearer of this feeling. So, it is noted that acute empathy increases the likelihood of developing depressive processes, stress, mental disorders and phobias.

A low level of empathy significantly complicates life in the social sphere. People who have an underestimated level of it more often than others encounter problems in communication and building close relationships.

Empath Definition

Who is an empath: he has a developed ability for conscious empathy, usually referred to as empath. Often in conversations you can hear the word empant. This pronunciation is incorrect, the concept correctly sounds different.

Main signs

Empathic abilities are closely related to the level of human development. The higher the spiritual and intellectual level, the higher the ability to express controlled compassion.

Characteristic features of empath:

intuitive understanding of the feelings and sensations of another;
ability to sincerely empathize;
the ability to easily take the place of another;
the ability to abstract, to look at the situation from the side;
the ability to understand and accept someone else's point of view without evidence, argumentation and debate.

Personal testing

In psychology, there are several special questionnaires for determining empathy. One of the most developed is a test compiled by clinical psychologist S. Baron-Cohen.

There is another simple and popular way to help assess the level of empathy - the scale of emotional response. The methodology was developed by a psychologist from the USA A. Mehrabyan:

it consists of twenty-five questions;
each test item involves a choice of 1 out of 4 answers;
each of the four options is assigned a certain number of points;
based on the amount, the person’s ability to controlled empathy is determined.

Another test was developed by domestic teacher V.V. Smartly. It allows you to assess the level of personal empathy. The Boyko test, in contrast to the emotional response scale, is simpler, but it is superficial, i.e. the accuracy and reliability of its results are lower. The methodology contains thirty-six questions that need to be answered “yes” or “no”. The Boyko test is aimed at determining predispositions to emotional empathy.

Empathy management

Empathy is an important sensory aspect of everyday life. His development and ability to control allows you to qualitatively change your life for the better, the ability to understand another person is the main step towards building healthy, positive relationships. Monitoring the condition of another person makes it possible to capture conflict situations and avoid them.

How to develop empathy? To do this, there are various systems, techniques and exercises.

Empathy development exercises:

Concentration is not on their conclusions, but on the meaning of phrases and words of the interlocutor in the dialogue. The ability to listen and hear will allow a deeper understanding of people in communication.
Concentration on people around, colleagues, acquaintances, relatives. What do they live with, what are their interests, problems, successes.
Talking with strangers in the transport, on the street. Communicating with people outside your circle will help you better understand the lives of others.
Playing the interlocutor’s situation on oneself, building a line of behavior, working out emotional manifestations.
Analysis of their feelings and experiences in various situations, their memorization. The development of emotional memory will allow you to quickly project a situation onto another and better understand it.

Empathy does not always play a positive role in life. Many people seek to reduce their empathy with others. To do this, you need to focus on yourself, constantly engage in hobbies, new hobbies. Constant concentration will not leave time for the manifestation of specific conditions. When developing empathy, remember that a high level of empathy carries negative consequences.

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Empathy (translation from Greek: “feeling”, “passion”, “suffering”) is a conscious empathy with the current emotional state of another person without losing the feeling of the external origin of this feeling. A person with the ability to empathy is called empathy.

The concept was introduced by Sigmund Freud. He considered it mandatory for any psychoanalyst to put himself in the place of his patient.

Empathy should not be confused. The first concerns only compassion, and an empath can feel the emotions of others: anger, fear, resentment, joy.

Let’s understand if all people are capable of such feelings or for this we need a set of certain qualities.

How does empathy manifest

This skill is expressed as a feeling of the emotional state of people with whom the personality interacts, as well as with the ability to show feelings like others. Such people are prone to deep emotional experiences and understanding the dependence of the feelings shown on the problems of another person.

Why does a person have the ability to empathize

Without empathy, it is difficult for people to develop communication skills and incline to trust.

Lack of such skills can negatively affect the professional side of life.

It is impossible to become a good psychologist, psychoanalyst, doctor, lawyer, teacher without a tendency to show feelings, to put oneself in the client's place and to be tolerant of his actions.

Empathy levels

All empathic people are divided into 5 types, depending on the depth of the ability to feel:

A type	Description
First	These people are able to determine their feelings. However, they distinguish simple feelings. They can perceive the emotional state of others, but often they do not distinguish other people's emotions from their own. Such empaths most often concentrate on their own feelings and emotions.
Second	People belonging to this type, perfectly feel the whole spectrum of other people's sensations. They can consider someone else's emotional state and mood by looking into a person’s eyes or determine them by motor skills and movements.
Third	They can determine the emotions of a person without his presence (during a telephone conversation or correspondence). Clearly distinguish their condition and experiences from strangers.
Fourth	Empaths of the fourth level can capture and recognize the whole range of emotional manifestations of others. However, they do not need direct contact with a person. Often they have increased intuition. Without difficulty, they can recognize the emotional state and feelings of several people at once who are in direct contact with an empath.
Fifth	People belonging to this type can sense and capture the whole range of emotions of others, but with the help of their abilities they can control other people's emotions.

Types of empathy

Emotional

The basis is the repetition of the behavior and motility of others in different situations.

Cognitive

The basis of this type is intellectual activity - comparison, analogy, etc.

Predicative

Prediction of the behavior of people around them and their emotions in specific situations.

The degree of manifestation of a tendency to empathy

Increased empathy (hyperempathy)

It is characterized by increased sensitivity to other people's problems. Such a person takes everything upon himself, is distinguished by pronounced empathy. Distinctive features: vulnerability, sensitivity, guilt for no reason.

Normal degree

The most common type. Such people control their emotions and prefer not to show them for ethical reasons. They can give vent to emotions in a circle of close people.

Low

It is characterized by the inability of a person to empathize. Such people consider the actions of people in the state of affect meaningless and incomprehensible to themselves and do not accept other points of view. In this regard, it is difficult for a person to find a common language with others.

The advantages and disadvantages of the ability to empathize

Advantages include the ability to recognize and understand the emotions and causes of the emotions and feelings shown by other people. This ability allows you to be good friends and good specialists in the fields of working with society.
The disadvantages include the fact that among the problems of others, you can lose yourself, your emotional state. This can happen to a person who does not know how to abstract from other people's problems, perceives everything too closely, “tries on” other people's situations on himself.

How to empathize not to lose emotions in vain

Understand that each person is free to choose how to behave in his life.
An empath should not interfere with the emotional state of loved ones unless they ask for it. It is enough just to accept a person as he is and empathize with him.
To establish spiritual harmony or choose another type of relaxation for yourself.
You won’t be good for everyone, so you don’t have to try to be a friend to everyone. If a person causes you negative emotions and impressions, try to limit communication with him or reduce him to nothing at all.
Love yourself for who you are. Do not try to take the blame for the whole world and save it heroically.

Empathy development - is it possible?

Empathy is a complex concept. Some scientists believe that this ability is genetic in nature and inherited.

This ability can still be developed. There is a certain technique:

The correct perception of self and your feelings. Learn to recognize and distinguish their shades. This will be the first step for an adequate vision of the emotional experiences of others.
The ability to manage your own emotions, thoughts and actions plays a big role.
Learn to understand and accept the feelings and thoughts of others.
Learn to distinguish intonation, facial expressions, gestures. This will help determine the emotional state of a person and what he feels.

Empathy - a rare ability, consisting in an unusually subtle comprehension of the feelings and emotions of another person, usually an interlocutor. Also, this concept includes many additional aspects: it is an opportunity to put oneself in a strange place, and a tendency to empathy, and the ability to feel someone else's mood.

Perhaps, for the most part, this is a personality trait of a human character, rather than a psychological characteristic.

Psychological works and treatises on this topic have been written for more than a decade. Almost all eminent psychologists and psychotherapists took part in the development of this issue, including Sigmund Freud, known to everyone. He argued that possessing empathy includes not only a subjective understanding of an alien world, but also the ability to feel all emotions (both positive and negative) from the point of view of another person.

Level of empathy.

Empathic abilities are rarely congenital. Most often, individuals acquire them along with ever-increasing experience. Empathy most often causes several response options. A person possessing this gift can at the same time sympathize, empathize and experience irresistible sympathy for an individual with whom he now has an emotional connection.

Empathy levels Is a fairly relative concept. However, the Internet is replete with tests offering to find out the presence of this characteristic online. Most often, the creators of sites offer to determine at what level of emotional intelligence you are and divide empaths into 5 groups:

the first group does not recognize itself as an empathy. They feel emotions and experiences, but they identify with them, and not some other person;
the second group is aware of what they are capable of, but do not fully understand their capabilities and the nature of this skill;
the third group uses its abilities quite clearly, tuning in to any person whose inner world is of interest.
the fourth group knows how to control all possible emotions and gradually learns to control their “victims” in this way;
and the fifth group mastered empathic abilities to the full, learning not only to share their feelings with the emotions of other people, but also gaining control over other personalities.

At the moment, empathy is divided into several types:

Emotional (it is based on the imitation of the motor reactions of another person).
Cognitive (based on intellectual processes).
Predicative (manifested as the ability to predict the reactions of another).

More-less empathy subject to each of us, to say the least: necessary. It is needed by people whose professions are directly related to communication: psychologists, managers, managers and many others.

Empathy development.

Not a small fraction of people are ready to give a lot, if only to develop empathic abilities in themselves. Experts argue that this is quite possible and recommend a number of game exercises:

Active listening. Learn (or teach) to listen to the interlocutor and ask questions that would help him more fully reveal the topic that has been put forward. Also, a useful skill will be the ability to share your impressions of what you have heard (eg: “It was very painful for me to hear your story”).
Exercise "Shelter". To do this, you need to sit in a chair, relax as much as possible (close your eyes and take a comfortable pose) and imagine your ideal refuge. Its forms may vary dramatically. For some, this is the house in which he was born and raised, and for some, a hut in the forest where no one will find him. Such fantasies will greatly relieve emotional stress and allow you to "lose" excess weight.
Speaking. The ability to praise others is an important component of all training. You need to start with at least a few flattering compliments a day, because soon enough it will become a habit, and you will begin to find real reasons for pride in your surroundings.
Analysis of their behavior. Someone considers this a meaningless reflection, and someone a productive analysis of the actions performed. To do this, you can keep a diary, or simply devote several minutes daily to a frank conversation with yourself.

It is worth considering that the older the person, the more difficult it is for him to develop in himself empathy, since the experience you have experienced does not always allow you to objectively evaluate others.

Also, remember that acquired ability to empathy can easily be destroyed by fear alone. It is authentically known that empathy try to avoid conflict situations, protecting themselves and others from quarrels and disputes. However, if this fails, sensitive people begin to suffer from panic attacks and look for ways to correct their thinking, which fundamentally destroys all their abilities.