Hot temper: learning to overcome. How to deal with temper in character

In the process of practice and life, I meet people with a problem, which is such an unpleasant character trait as short temper.

Usually short-tempered (root of the word "blaze", that is, to be like fire) are people who find it difficult to control their emotional reactions, especially with regard to anger and anger. When they meet with something that does not suit them, they can quite violently express their anger and anger in a verbal cry, insults, and sometimes in physical form. This usually happens often.

What does this lead to?

To the fact that a person acts unreasonably and does not achieve what he wants (for example, I want to be respected, but on the contrary, I destroy this respect by my behavior)
Criticism is painfully perceived, there is no way to get information from it for useful changes
Relationships with other people are broken, a person can be perceived as inadequate, and therefore dangerous, they begin to avoid it
The energy of anger is spent in vain, and not in order to defend our borders normally (for example, instead of talking calmly with the boss about the possibility of raising the salary, a person yells at his wife who says about this)
Such a person is easy to provoke and put in a bad light
Constantly getting into conflict situations, sometimes problems with the law, getting injured
As a result, it is very difficult to build and maintain relationships
Over time, there are health problems, a tendency to high blood pressure, diseases of the cardiovascular system and gastrointestinal tract

What is the reason?

As a rule, this character trait is acquired as a result of natural choleric temperament, which is exacerbated by the characteristics of education. Sometimes it can be as a result of a traumatic experience, a ban on a constructive expression of anger, when a person is used to looking for a reason to express it. Often observed in people prone to some kind of addiction.

As a rule, such a short-tempered person is found psychological features:

Overstated or erratic self-esteem
As a result of this painful attitude to criticism, fear of “loss of face”
High expectations in relation to other people, unconscious attitude to the fact that “everyone owes me”
Few patterns of constructive behavior in conflict situations
Few constructive anger and anger management skills
The tendency to accumulate negative emotions to the point where they become uncontrollable. For example, instead of calmly discussing some minor problems as they arise, I am silent, but when irritation accumulates, I can throw a big scandal, for a minor reason.
The tendency to perceive the events of everything around in a negative light
Hypersensitivity

What to do with it?

In order to cope with the problem of hot temper it is necessary:

To realize that there is a problem of hot temper and to want to do something with it, to realize the consequences of inaction
Learning to take the flaws of others more calmly
Understand that other people also have rights (for example, the right to refuse or the right to their opinion, the right to make mistakes)
To learn to track the emerging emotional stress and constructively respond to it in a way that is beneficial for yourself, not allowing a level of uncontrollability
To learn other methods of behavior in conflict other than open confrontation
Learn to express people your disapproval in a more constructive way, without breaking the relationship
Deal with the problem of self-esteem, unconscious attitudes that generate short-tempered behavior
Develop more balanced behavioral responses in stressful situations

Thus, in order to overcome such a character trait as temper, a rather lengthy work on oneself is necessary. You can do this yourself, but as a rule, a quick-tempered person does not have enough perseverance, he switches to other problems and the skill does not have time to develop, is more effective with a specialist. And usually the effort to change yourself is worth it.

Short temper - a tendency to inadequate, excessive reactions - emotional restraint, explosive irritability to ordinary stimuli; predisposition to anger.

Once upon a time there was one very quick-tempered and unrestrained person. And then one day his father gave him a bag of nails and punished every time he did not restrain his anger from driving one nail into a fence post. On the first day, there were several dozen nails in the fence. A week later, the young man learned to restrain himself, and every day the number of nails hammered into a pole began to decrease. The young man realized that controlling his temper was easier than driving in nails. Finally, the day came when he never once lost his temper. He told his father about this and he said that from that day on, every time his son manages to restrain himself, he can pull one nail out of the pillar. Time passed, and the day came when the young man could tell his father that not a single nail remained in the pillar. Then the father took his son's hand and led him to the fence: “You did a good job, but you see how many holes there are in the column? He will never be the same again. When you say something evil to a person, the same scar remains in his soul as these holes. ”

Hot-tempered - mind distraction for theft of emotions . In a calm state, the mind controls the manifestation of feelings and emotions, and only with temporary insanity, which is the temper, negative destructive emotions gush into space. The heartbeat rises, blood pressure rises, there is a powerful surge of adrenaline. If you do not slow down in time, you can smoothly go into a state of anger in many of its manifestations, including extreme ones - rage and rage. Having pumped huge energy out of a person, a flash of temper throws him into a state of despondency, exhausted, exhausted, defenseless and gloomy. Short-tempered friends are fervor, passion, anger, lack of balance and irritability.

Losing reason for a while, a person practically does not control himself, becomes limp, so he loses respect in the eyes of others. Hot temper levels the ability to make the right decisions, pushes to rash acts, worsens a person’s well-being, provokes problems, leads to hysteria and ends with a sense of shame.

Short temper is characterized by instant jumping from a calm state to an extremely excited, agitated and impulsive. Temperament plays a significant role; it cannot be discounted. Hot temper is a person without “brakes”. Any person hundreds of times a day has to consciously or unconsciously make a choice how to react to a particular situation in life. The right to choose is a tremendous gift of fate, an invaluable advantage of a conscious individual. For example, in a tram we were pushed and at the same time impolitely commented on the push. A person has a choice how to react to a situation - to get into a bicker with a tram boor or ignore a provocation. It takes a split second to think about what to do. Temper, unknown for any sins, is devoid of the greatest advantage of the individual - choice rights . She, without a second's doubt, flashes up, sharply raises her voice, tears the “vest” on herself, actively gesticulates, in a word, she is angry with all her urine. In other words, the short temper between the event and the reaction to it lacks a “safety valve” in the form of the right of choice. The irritant, bypassing the filters of consciousness without hindrance, directly affects the sensitive centers of a person, causing an outburst of temper. There is no reason to be short of temper, but there is only one reason - the impossibility and inability to make choices about how to respond to life events.

Any trifle can become the trigger of temper, but, first of all, is anger, fueled by condemnation. Without self-control and mental stability, it is easy for a person to “catch fire” when meeting with ignorance, not wanting to actively listen, constantly interrupting and protesting. Bad mood, stress, overwork, fear and anxiety can be a good springboard for temper. In other words, any object or situation of the external world that is given excessive importance can become a cause of temper.

The temper has a lot of enemies in the person of humanity, kindness, tolerance, understanding and the ability to forgive. The antidote to her is goodwill, wisdom, and self-control. She is a fast-passing emotion, and this must be used. It is very important to catch the first instant of temper and not to allow a flame to flare up from a spark. For this person it is necessary, as a child, to distract from the subject of conversation and to keep in the arsenal of improvised means - calm and reconciliation.

The life of a hot-tempered person cannot be called safe. What kind of security can we talk about if a person has no “brakes”. A vivid example of temper - the great artist Caravaggio. A man of violent temperament, rude, bold and independent. The artist’s quick-tempered and unpalatable disposition served as an occasion for constant clashes with others, which often ended in a fight, duel, or a sword strike. For this, he was repeatedly prosecuted and imprisoned. In 1606, Caravaggio, in a quarrel that broke out during a ball game, killed his opponent and fled from Rome. Finding himself in Naples, he went from there in search of work to Malta, where, after spending a year, he was admitted to the order thanks to the patronage of the grandmaster, whose portrait he painted. However, for a gross insult to one of the leaders of the Order, Caravaggio was thrown into prison, escaped from it and worked for some time in the cities of Sicily and again in Naples. In the hope of forgiveness of the pope, he went by sea to Rome. Mistakenly arrested by the Spanish border guard, robbed by carriers, the artist develops malaria and dies in 1610, thirty-six years of age.

Peter Kovalev

Short temper is a tendency to abnormal, excessive emotional manifestations, explosive reactions to ordinary irritants, restraint, a predisposition to anger. The phenomenon under consideration is more often observed in men. Femins are also prone to hot temper, but their version is often played out through the position of the victim and is usually found in grievances or tantrums. Hysteria and resentment are considered female variants of temper. This concept is often referred to as bad character traits. This is not entirely true, since there are two variations of temper: justified and empty.

Causes of short temper

The concept under consideration is not considered the best feature, since uncontrollable anger can seriously complicate the existence and distort the relationship with the environment. With nervous excitement, which is often accompanied by anger and it is difficult to analyze the spoken and select the right words. As a result of which, quick-tempered is often ashamed of his unworthy behavioral manifestations. Moreover, after a rather short period, a similar situation is repeated under the influence of a number of circumstances.

Short temper is a rather dangerous phenomenon in psychology, as it drives the negative ones in depth, causing mental problems, a breakdown in communication and self-perception.

The reasons that provoke excessive temper can be attributed to various stressors or unfairly caused grievances.

Common factors causing the condition in question: regular lack of sleep, bad habits, constant anxiety, unhealthy diet, abuse of low-calorie foods, increased, accumulated fatigue, vitamin deficiency, life disorders.

Often, increased irritability signals the presence of infectious ailments, mental pathologies, diseases of the digestive tract, and diabetes. In addition, short temper can be caused by thyroid dysfunction.

Short temper in the female population often occurs during pregnancy or menopause. A similar condition is associated with ongoing hormonal transformations in the body. The sons of Adam suffer from excessive excitability due to a decrease in the production of the hormone testosterone. It has also been proved by science that this feature, if it is a stable characteristic, has a hereditary nature.

Individuals with often overstate the bar in front of them. As a result of this, they cannot correspond to their own far-fetched image of the ideal “I”. This causes disruptions in family relationships, problems in the work environment. The result is a constantly present, firmly rooted in the mind. In order to avoid this, you do not need to compare your own achievements with the successes of other individuals.

Intermittent hot temper

Attacks of aggression, verbal insults, assault are characteristic signs of excessive temper. Any person can freak out, but often aggressiveness is caused by a disorder of intermittent temper, which often affects the strong half of humanity.

A characteristic feature of the described disorder is the inadequacy of response to a minor situation, the slightest occasion, criticism, causticity, stress, difficulties in relationships. Each subject is able to flare up, but the majority is still able to control excessive emotional response, but with the disorder in question, the individual is unstoppable in his own reactions. His fury always goes beyond what is permitted and tends to recur periodically.

A disorder of intermittent short-temper is called behavioral deviation, characterized by explosive episodes, often reaching its climax. Such outbreaks are disproportionate to the circumstances that gave rise to them. Impulsive aggressiveness is involuntary and is caused by a disproportionate response to any provocation, real or planned. Some individuals exhibit affective transformations before a seizure.

The described deviation is a serious mental health disorder that must be treated, as it can develop into. Friends, colleagues, relatives may suffer. Individuals suffering from such a disorder are at risk of other mental disorders. Among them are frequent cases of alcoholism and. Also, the described disorder with age often causes myocardial problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis. Therefore, the question of how to get rid of temper is not without its relevance.

Today, this disorder is classified as subversive, impulsive disorder and behavioral response. Patients suffering from the described deviation demonstrate episodes characterized by various bodily symptoms (sweating, palpitations, chest tightness, twitching). Aggressive behavior is often accompanied by a feeling of relief, sometimes accompanied by a sense of pleasure. Such feelings are replaced by belated repentance.

A significant feature of this deviation is the appearance of discrete episodes of a lack of resistance to aggressive motivators, leading to serious malicious acts or the destruction of things.

The degree of aggression manifested during the outbreak is not proportional to the provocation or influence of the psychosocial stressor.

It is quite difficult to diagnose the described deviation, since it is possible to make a diagnosis only if other disorders of mental activity are excluded, which may also be accompanied by episodes of short temper, for example, an antisocial or, manic episode, behavioral disorders.

In addition, similar clinical manifestations can be observed due to direct physiological effects of certain chemicals (pharmacopeia drugs, narcotic drugs), head injuries.

The symptoms of the disorder in question usually include the following:

- several discrete attacks of refusal to resist aggressive stimuli, causing violent negative emotions or destruction of property;

- the degree manifested by the outbreak is incommensurable with the psychosocial stressor;

- outbreaks of aggressiveness are not caused by the presence of other pathologies of the psyche.

How to deal with temper

Individuals suffering from excessive temper, complicate the existence of themselves, their loved ones. Any little thing is able to generate a violent inadequate negative reaction in such subjects. This complicates the interaction with colleagues, acquaintances, relatives. Excessive temper often leads to frustration in family relationships. Thus, an inadequate negative reaction to impulses from the outside harms personal life and hinders career growth.

In order to understand how to get rid of temper, you need to understand its nature. Any manifestation of emotions is a response of the nervous system to the stimulus. Non-hostility to the individual's incontinence in statements, sharp outbursts of anger, peremptory disagreement in everything that is happening around are often the result of nervous overstrain. Therefore, if excessive temper is generated by these factors, then a banal rest, a good sleep or a hobby will help get rid of it.

When an individual is faced with serious life troubles, any minor incident can provoke a single outbreak of aggression or become a source of the emergence of more serious ailments. Therefore, psychologists say that negative emotions must be given a way out, otherwise they will aggravate the condition. The individual will plunge into himself and begin to cultivate to the environment. There is also the danger of degeneration of excessive temper into an inseparable character trait.

Since this short temper in psychology is considered a dangerous condition that causes disturbances in the functioning of the body systems, it is necessary to deal with uncontrolled outbreaks of aggression.

Sport is especially effective in preventing outbreaks of aggression, especially its varieties associated with high physical activity. Sports activities help eliminate excessive nervous tension.

It is also not recommended to neglect elements and commonplace. The exercises are quite simple in execution, but the effect comes quickly. To achieve a faster result, it is recommended to combine these exercises with elements of respiratory gymnastics.

In addition, you should create a rule not to respond immediately to phrases or actions that cause anger. It is recommended to pause before the response statement or action. You can mentally count to 5. Literally in a few seconds the irritation will subside slightly, as a result of which there will be no outbreak of aggression.

It is also recommended to diversify your own existence in order to saturate it with positive emotions. You need to more often get out from relatives to nature, visit theaters, meet friends, read literature. The hormonal genesis of excessive hot temper should not be ruled out. A qualified endocrinologist will help get rid of episodes of aggression here.

Hello dear friends!

In order not to complicate and not spoil the life of oneself and others, it is necessary to learn how to control a hot-tempered attitude to the world. I think many will agree with me: this character trait is also a test of the strength of the nervous system!

You can always have time to make enemies and ill-wishers, but to pass for a calm, balanced personality, you still have to try. If you consider yourself a “time bomb”, a jet engine for burning good mood in people and just a quick-tempered little thing, then this article will be very useful for you!

How to magically learn to subordinate your own emotions and keep them in check of adequate behavior? Due to what in our worldview there is a need to react so impulsively to what is happening, and especially to other relatives who are expertly able to lead our touchy Ego from the abyss of balance? Let's start in order!

Irascibility - This is a special and often uncontrolled trait that is born in response to an irritant. What can I say, any manifestation of an individual’s emotions is a portion of the nervous system’s responses to factors that provoke the development of feelings inside a vulnerable soul.

Yes, it is very important to be able to creatively express the range of emotions experienced. It is because of this that we can clearly demonstrate to others that we think, feel or experience about various kinds of events.

But it so happens that feelings escaping to the surface do not always wear a positive color. And when the question is about hot temper, the action takes on the form of an unstoppable element falling on the head of other people. Bursts of aggressive mood are not long-term, but they leave behind problems - a solid mountain!

Each time after the incident, an unpleasant sensation remains inside the soul, sometimes in relation to excessive eloquence. This is followed by an awkward apology or a search for a way out of the current impasse.How to control quick-tempered mood or create the most optimal degree of its manifestation?

In order to qualitatively answer the question: “How to fight?”, First of all, it is necessary to understand how this problem is born and by whatreasons?

Causes of short temper

The sages claimed that a quick-tempered attitude is a true indicator of weakness and a person who makes him rush to the outside world. But a confident person will find the strength in life situations to respond adequately and calmly.

Sometimes people notice unusual early incontinence in their behavior and shrill statements. Also manifested, rejection of what is happening, rage or hatred. The reason for the development of such symptoms is. But with such signs, the best medicine is rest, a change of scenery, doing any business.

Hot-tempered people become so in consequence of dissatisfaction with themselves and life in general. You must strive to drive out internal discomfort away and remind yourself of the achievements that have already been realized in reality.

Self-doubt walks very closely next to the lighters. They prefer to attack first rather than wait for a surprise attack from the side. The only question is, with whom are they fighting?

When a person experiences negative events or encounters troubles, then a small spark is enough to ignite a flame of gigantic proportions.

Systematic stresses contribute to the temper and provoke the individual to painfully experience any moments that fall out of the zone of his comfortable pastime.

The main share in the development of the problem of uncontrolledaggression they bring in blocks and fears that prevent negative experiences from reaching the surface.

In psychology this phenomenon is considered to be the most dangerous, because it pushes the negative deep into consciousness, forming problems with the psyche, communication and self-perception.

Often a person is so mired in his experiences that he completely goes into himself. And it is there that emotions are cultivated under the minus sign, and it is there that pathological hatred for all living things is born. And then the process only gets worse.

A fiery state transforms into a habit, and that in turn forms one of the most sinister character traits. And so how among all aspects to find the optimal balance between misanthropy and tyranny?

Temperament Effect

A total of 4 types . Among them are sanguine, melancholy, phlegmatic, and of course choleric. If the first types are most often calm and reasonable, the latter is the most receptive and emotional.

The most characteristic feature for choleric people is the cosmic scale of a short-tempered character, but with a fairly quick deduction. And before the calm are all the flashesemotional diversity, gestures, facial expressions and the message accompanying mood.

Choleric is a very common type of temperament. Knowing the specific features, it is necessary to exert a little more effort to pacify the feelings than sanguine people, melancholic or phlegmatic people.

These are hot individuals, characterized by a quick change of moods. They are always emotional and anxious because they experience feelings and joys, and negativity is equally impressive. Realizing the degree of influence, how to render yourself the most suitablepsycho-help?

Physiological way to solve the problem

1. Side view

To understand how a quick-tempered person looks from the outside, I suggest you do a little test exercise. For this lesson you will need a mirror and a couple of free minutes.

Stand in front of your reflection and remember some unpleasant events from life, restore in detail the appearance of the offenders and focus on the sensations.

Notice how your face changes and your body becomes tense. If you find it difficult to get used to the planned image, help yourself.

Frown your brows, tighten your facial muscles, clench your fists and get ready for an impromptu battle with the imagination. You can even scream!

In a few minutes your will catch the promise and start the real physiological processes of the belligerent mood. It is at this moment that you will be able to experience aggression, which gradually takes hold of your consciousness. Why do you need such an exercise, you ask?

The thing is that thanks to him, you will be able to understand that hot-tempered behavior can be triggered independently, equivalent to how to deactivate it.

2. Practice

Most often, we are overcome by an uncontrollable one at the most unforeseen moment. To avoid an inadequate reaction, I suggest you practice by tracking the process of the emergence of hot temper, and also learn how to control it, understanding the technique of replacing negative emotions.

Stand at the mirror and say the phrase: “I am a calm and balanced person!” This is best done in the morning when you are less stressed.

After affirmation, imagine how irritants or ill-wishers are trying to get you crazy. You can ask a friend to “play” with you! I think it will be useful to all players

Next, you need to rehearse a condescending look, and maybe a witty joke that can break the boiling inside. The point is to transfer the theory to the practice of life. Your goal is to keep track of the moment when the quick-tempered mood starts and replace it with a rehearsed pose, joke or behavior.

Learning to control ourselves

Remember, you need to learn how to let off steam without harming others! Only in this way will you prevent the development of neurosis and overvoltage.

Change your usual behavior, remove anger and irritation at loved ones, since aggression always generates aggression. Those closest to themselves, friends will stop communicating, and you will drown in the gamut of your nervous breakdowns. What should be done?

1. Accept yourself and calm down

Hot-tempered relatives tend to deny the instability of the emotional background. Stop lying to yourself! Accept the fact that sometimes you are rude, annoyed and angry at this world.

While you do not know how to control the heat of passions thoroughly - avoid them. But as soon as the level gets stronger, consciously enter into discussions to train endurance, composure and.

2. Release accumulated emotions

Find a source of relaxation for yourself. Sports training, extreme sports, hobbies or yoga can reduce the pressure of society and personal experiences, returning you confidence, a sense of satisfaction and harmony with yourself.

3. Develop a sense of humor

The ability to joke is always perceived with a bang! This is not surprising, because it can smooth out sharp edges and minimize hostility.

Save yourself by inventing funny images at the time of an avid avalanche. For example, imagine and imagine a boss in a swimsuit in the middle of a crowd of Chinese tourists!

4. Switch

Use a surge of irritability in a creative way. For example, at the moment of such “vivacity” you can clean the house, dig up a garden or run a marathon! Believe me, this works better than merging negativity with relatives.

5. Talk about feelings!

Immediately respond to the first signs of a fiery manifestation. Otherwise, you run the risk of attacking innocent relatives who do not mean your personal ups and downs.

Say right away: “I feel restless and angry! I need 30 minutes of solitude "or" There was a nuisance! I boil! Can you imagine ... ”Speak calmly, kindly and sincerely, because sincerity is always captivating!

This is the point!

Subscribe to updates, there are still a lot of valuable tips, friends! Be sure to share your methods and recommendations in the comments, I am very interested to know how you deal with the problem?

See you on the blog, bye-bye!

In scientific terms, being irritable means over-reacting to some kind of stimulus. Fortunately, this is quite possible to handle. You can overcome this overreaction if you know a few tricks.

First of all, it is worth learning that hot temper and irritability are inherent in all modern people, without exception. The reason for this phenomenon is high stress loads in the form of an excessive amount of absorbed information. The brain is unable to cope with such a volume of information and refuses to adequately respond to newly received stimuli.

Before fighting them, short temper and irritability should be carefully analyzed for possible causes. In particular, it is important to eliminate the deficiency of vitamins and minerals, the presence of organic pathologies of the structures of the brain and central nervous system. In women, similar periods can be observed in certain phases of the menstrual cycle.

How to get rid of temper

Relax whenever you feel annoyed or understand that emotions have stirred in you, try to remember that you just need to relax. Such knowledge may seem annoying in such conditions, but be sure to do it. And this will already be a great help in the fight against your excessive temper.

Before getting rid of an attack of temper, start breathing deeply - this allows oxygen to penetrate the brain, which allows it to function more efficiently. And drink a glass of water. Such actions will stop your irritability and temper for some time.

Do not be afraid to console yourself, surround yourself with things and deeds that you like: it can be a large portion of your favorite pistachio ice cream or the new season of a comedy show. You can still inflate a balloon until it bursts - often with it all the negativity that has accumulated inside you disappears. Whatever it is - do it when you feel that this fire of indignation and discontent is growing in you. This will balance your emotions, and you will feel less irritable.

How to overcome temper with simple methods?

In order to know how to overcome temper, you need to learn that you can not allow any negative thoughts. If possible, don’t think about anything at all, or think of something pleasant and good. These professional methods are used by all professional psychologists, and young girls have lately, too, to drive away all bad thoughts.

Play with your child - this gives an incredible splash of emotion and charges positive for a few days in advance. Launch a kite, jump, run, play the ball, pluck flowers, play with your pet and your child. The game helps relieve stress on your brain, which causes irritability and temper.

Exercise, especially yoga. Researchers have long recognized that the latter helps to control not only their actions, but also emotions. Exercise helps to induce hormones of happiness from within, which will obviously make you feel happier.

Go visit, or take a car or bike and ride to the nearest beach. Or you can go shopping if the weather does not allow you to make a trip to nature. If you feel that you are beginning to get annoyed at the thought of work, then perhaps you should take a short three-day vacation and poison yourself together somewhere with the whole family. And it does not have to be a foreign country or a beach; the nearest mountain, meadow or other beautiful place near you is quite suitable.

Talk with family and friends, especially those who have not been seen for a long time. They probably miss you very much, and a pleasant conversation will distract you from any irritants for a long time.

Sometimes the cause of short temper and irritation is a banal lack of sleep. There is only one way out in this situation - a long and high-quality sleep. For many people, this is one of the best ways to overcome irritability. Perhaps this method is suitable for you. As soon as you feel the first notes of irritation, for a start you should just relax. And in the next situation, just sleep, and you will see the effect when you wake up. It will not make you forget about the cause and the irritant, but at least you will feel better.

It is better to spend your time producing all these things than to waste your time and nerves on anyone who is gentle to anyone.

Increased emotional temper

Increased emotional temper is more characteristic of the male part of the planet. Hot temper is a hellish mixture of irritability and emotional restraint, which is characteristic of very temperamental people.