The psychological masks we wear. About the masks that we wear daily A person puts on a mask

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We often wear masks: at work, on the street, talking with friends and acquaintances, sometimes we don’t even take them off at home. Some of them are like us as two drops of water, others are strikingly different from us real. Let's figure it out why do we need these psychological superstructures and what disadvantages they may have.

So why do we need masks at all? We play different roles in different life situations. and this must be taken into account. If at work you are a strict boss, when you come home, you have to reorganize so as not to behave the same way with your family. Conversely, if you treat subordinates as if they were your own children, there will be no benefit from this.

In my opinion, wearing masks is not bad at all, at certain points in life they are very much needed. Well, is it bad to smile at a child, even if the cat itself is scratching at heart? Or to cheer up your loved one when you are scared yourself?

With the help of masks, you can solve some psychological problems. There is even a practice role therapy, during which people are encouraged to get used to various roles in order to overcome their fears.

The masks themselves are just a tool, they can be used for both good and bad purposes. And if we use masks only in the name of good, then what's the problem? It turns out that here There are some complications that should be avoided.

Imposed masks

It happens that we use some kind of masks or behaviors not because we like them, but because they are imposed: by colleagues, environment, close people. For example, parents from childhood brought up leadership qualities in a child, and he got used to putting on a leader's mask. At the same time, it is quite possible that a person does not want to pretend to be a leader at all, but he uses this model of behavior out of habit. And when our behavior goes against our true desires, it inevitably has a negative impact on the psychological state. Dig into your "home dressing room", see which masks you absolutely do not need - maybe it's worth it without a twinge of conscience to take them to the trash?

Should everyone like it?

Often we put on masks to please other people, especially often this happens with new acquaintances. I have noticed more than once how people who seem almost perfect at the beginning of communication, after a long acquaintance, lose a good half of their charm. The natural desire to please makes us hide character flaws and emphasize virtues.

On the one hand, there is nothing wrong with that. But, on the other hand, it turns out that others do not like us, but our masks, and with closer communication it becomes obvious - we can’t wear a mask all the time. So is it worth spending so much time and energy on people who don't like the real us? After all, our friends and loved ones love us the way we are, with all the advantages and disadvantages.

Do we want to be better or to seem?

Another reason people wear masks is because they often strive to be better than they really are. We are all brought up on the same principles. we want to do the right thing, not the easy way, to be kind and not evil, sympathetic and not insensitive. Some people do it better, others worse, but almost everyone wants to seem good. So, maybe we should try to change what we don’t like about ourselves, and not just habitually wear "good" mask?

Well, a little about sincerity

And what about sincerity? Often open, sincere behavior looks much more attractive than all of our prettiest masks. T so if you can afford to be sincere, be.

And finally, a funny approach to masks, which was formulated by the famous surrealist artist Salvador Dali: "If you start playing genius, you will certainly become one!" And he did succeed!

Really, when we get used to depicting some qualities, they often become part of our character. So we have a lot to learn from our own masks.

What kind of masks do you wear? Do you think masks are good or bad?

Why we wear masks in life and what we hide under them. What psychological masks do people cover their true face most often. How to break the "mask" from the interlocutor.

Why do people wear masks

In fact, most of us constantly live "in role", without removing the mask even at home. In this case, only one mask is not necessarily used - it often changes depending on the place of use (work, home, group of friends, etc.) and circumstances. But they all have one thing in common - they are worn for a reason.

The main reasons for living under the mask:

Circumstances. For many people, masks in life help to "fit in" with the environment or match it. For example, at work, a person tries on the mask of a strict boss or an executive and disciplined worker, which gives him every chance for success in this field. At home, the mask of a wonderful worker is replaced by the mask of a loving wife and mother or a caring husband and father. Here it is the key to home comfort and warmth. Also, adults and children often use this technique to get what they want.
critical situations. It is not uncommon to try on the role of a strong and unshakable person when troubles occur or unforeseen situations interfere in the course of affairs. That is, as they say, you have to put on a good face when playing badly. It helps to hide your feelings from others, to experience grief yourself and to support those who need help and faith.
Overcoming fears. There are people who use masks to hide their psychological complexes and fears.
Social Priorities. To pretend to be someone else can be forced by the priorities imposed by the environment - parents, friends, colleagues, mass media and social networks. It can be a mask of a leader, an excellent student, a hard worker, a good boy, a “nice” and, conversely, a tear-off, a Protestant, a careless person and a playboy.
Desire to please. Another reason why people wear masks. In this case, flaws are hidden under the mask, and virtues are flaunted. And not always true. That is, here the mask performs the function of a bait - during an acquaintance, hiring, in a new team or a new company, etc.
Striving to be better than you really are. Despite the fact that the modern world breaks stereotypes, good manners, humanity, decency and sympathy are still welcomed in society. Therefore, if most of us do not have such qualities (by nature or by virtue of upbringing), then we try to show that we have them with the help of an appropriate mask.

Important! Whatever the reason for putting on a psychological mask, it, like a masquerade mask, hides the true face of its wearer. This makes it difficult to see the essence of a person not only to others, but also to himself.

Types of masks in people's lives

Since our life is an uninterrupted stream of changes and changes, we are forced to adapt in every possible way to it. Including with the help of psychological masks. Therefore, almost every person has his own set of masks for a particular situation. Most of them have much in common, so they can be divided into several types.

The main masks in people's lives

The main or basic psychological masks are masks with a deep foundation. Often a person has one, and more superficial and diverse images are already superimposed on it.

These basic human masks include:

. Such a mask is formed as a result of a strong psychotrauma once suffered: the loss of a loved one, violence of a physical or psychological nature, humiliation, loss of status, rejection, collapse of ideals, catastrophe or accident. Such a shock affects not only the soul of a person, but also the body - it forms certain "clamps" and restrictions, including on the face. They remain with us until the end of life - new emotional expressions only correct the main mask, but do not cover it completely. It is noteworthy that we ourselves may not notice such changes in the expression of our face, despite the fact that they will be clearly visible to others. Hence, there are such visual inconsistencies as a strict boss with the face of an offended child or a cheerful laugher with sad eyes. A characteristic feature of such traumatic masks is that they reflect not only the experiences that we experienced at the time of the trauma, but also the age when it happened. Therefore, people who endured a stressful situation in childhood retain their childish facial features until old age.
Mask of the basic attitude to life. Unlike the mask of psychotrauma, it is formed gradually, throughout life. It is based on our basic concepts of life and our role in it, our way of thinking and acting, our expectations from ourselves and from others. With age and taking into account the accumulated experience, some priorities may change, but the basic principles of life still remain inviolable. So the mask of the basic attitude to life in the process of life itself can change, acquiring new impressions and emotions, but its basis remains unchanged. Therefore, optimists will try to "save face" in any situation, pessimists will not be able to hide their sadness even under the most convincing mask of joy. In the same way as the proud will not cover up their arrogant attitude towards others even under the most benevolent facial expression, and among cowards their weakness will be noticeable even under the mask of arrogance.
Professional masks. Such modifications are the result of professional activity, which forces us to play by certain rules - to correspond to the image of a certain profession or position. Thus, new features "grow" to our face so much that they are not removed from it even at home. So, households and relatives of people who have clearly entered the image of a military man, a doctor, a teacher, a leader, are very familiar with all the nuances of such professional deformation. Since this image no longer makes it possible to manifest true feelings and relationships.
Borrowed masks. Such changes in facial features are formed in the process of communication with significant people for us. That is, such masks in people's lives appear as a result of imitation. In childhood, we copy our parents, and in adolescence - idols from TV screens, pages of glossy magazines, and now also from social networks. In the period of growing up and maturity, we continue to imitate and change ourselves, taking as an example the same parents, more successful friends and acquaintances, bosses and employees. Many find a role model among media people - politicians, businessmen and show business stars.

Important! You can "pick up" the mask of success and self-confidence when communicating with successful people, and the mask of a happy married person - when communicating with happy couples. And in this case, imitation will only benefit.

Additional psychological masks

Additional masks appear as a result of new emotions and circumstances that arise during our lives. These masks are superimposed on the basic psychological mask and carry different emotional and motivational loads.

Such additional or auxiliary psychological life masks include:

"Good man". This image is most often used by a person who is very eager to be one. That is, he has "bad" qualities (a tendency to theft, violence, lies, quarrelsomeness, envy, aggressiveness, etc.), which he suppresses by an effort of will. Therefore, he can easily change his role, only he will cease to control himself - alone with himself, when communicating with loved ones or in a critical situation. Such a person is always serious and longs for recognition of his virtuous mask. He knows perfectly well all the socially accepted principles of morality, has good oratorical skills and loves to teach. Therefore, he prefers public activities and professions related to communication, education, religion.
"Forever unhappy". Such a mask is chosen by energetically weak people who prefer a passive perception of the world and the image of a victim. They always have a rationale for their failures, and not always real. Constantly feeling sorry for themselves, they indulge their weaknesses and habits, trying to arouse pity and compassion for themselves in others. It is noteworthy that such a position in life helps the "eternally unhappy" to exist quite comfortably at the expense of the compassionate attitude of others. Firstly, they are fueled by energy from a compassionate person, and secondly, they can achieve certain selfish goals.
"Helpless". The image is in many ways similar to the mask of “eternally unhappy”, only here the position “I can’t”, “it won’t work”, “I can’t”, “I don’t understand”, “too difficult for me”, etc. prevails. The purpose of putting on such a mask is to shift your burden (work, responsibility, problem solving) onto someone else's shoulders.
"Cracker" or "cynic". Pretending that nothing in this world can touch your heart is a good way to shut yourself off from reality. It is based on fear and inner fear of the world and everything that happens in it. As a result, a person builds a stone wall of indifference and insensitivity around him in order to protect himself from the outside world.
"Sexy". This image is used by representatives of both sexes, but men still exploit it more actively. At the root of such a mask lies the subconscious need for self-affirmation in front of others and oneself. Often covers the immaturity of his master, loneliness and dependence on the opinions of others. Such people are very active, sociable and have a lot of experience of close communication with the opposite sex. However, victories on the sexual front bring short-term joy, so they are constantly in search of new hobbies.
"Lord of the world". The mask of a strong and self-confident person is often worn by people who need to match their status or leadership position. Often, women who have married weak-willed men, or children who have grown up early, forced to take care of themselves or their families from childhood, are forced to wear it.
"Jonah". With such a mask, people walk around who, with complaisance and goodwill, cover up their passivity and lack of will. They come to terms with the fact that their weak character did not allow them to achieve something more in life, and are content with what they have. They are sociable, sincere, but constantly feel guilty for their failure, so they often become alcoholics.
"Pitying All". It is possible to distinguish such a person from a person who is really experiencing by nature by several signs. Firstly, a person in the mask of a pitying person either confines himself only to words, or even helps, but only for selfish purposes. Therefore, he either provides assistance with the back thought that it will count, and someone will someday also help him at a difficult moment, or helps only important and necessary people. Secondly, the "pitying" is engaged in narcissism, enjoying his "fine" organization of the soul.
"Merry". Often life under the guise of a sociable optimist is exploited by lonely people who are unsure of their significance. Their fear of being unnecessary, unclaimed makes the "merry fellows" constantly be in society, and ideally - in its center. They acquire a lot of friends and acquaintances, love noisy parties, often invite guests and go to visit themselves. Even when they are alone, they fill their free time with communication - on the phone, on social networks or on Skype. Such hyper-sociality helps to avoid the possibility of being alone with yourself, your sad and gloomy thoughts. People with a "merry fellow" mask live other people's lives, running away from their own.
"Grey mouse". This style of behavior is chosen by people who are closed, with a deep sense of loneliness. They diligently hide their complexes under the image of the "golden mean", preferring to merge with the crowd so as not to stand out either for better or for worse. That is to draw attention to yourself.
"fool" or "stupid". Of course, women “turn on the fool” more often, but among the representatives of the stronger sex there are many users of this image. The purpose of its use is purely mercantile. For example, avoid punishment or censure, get help, information or material gain. The mechanism for obtaining the result is simple - to elevate another person by recognizing oneself as stupid (poor, unhappy, slow, etc.).
"Knowing Life". In the colors of such a mask, a cynic, a skeptic and a conservative are mixed. It is tried on by people who believe that they have seen everything, learned everything and can do everything. They are distrustful, “calculated” and categorical. There is no place for a miracle in their life, and the only correct opinion is their own. The purpose of such a "masquerade" is to exalt oneself and one's significance in the eyes of others.
"Shirt-guy" or "cutie". The image of an ingenuous, sociable, benevolent, charming person is accepted by both men and women in order to achieve certain goals (to attract attention, ingratiate themselves, gain benefits).

Any of the above psychological masks is, first of all, a mask that hides true feelings, fears, desires. Therefore, it must be remembered that it is constantly in opposition to the inner world. The more masks and the longer the time they are worn, the deeper the internal imbalance. This only exacerbates the problem and can lead to nervous breakdowns or even suicide.

How to remove a mask from a person

To summarize, most masks in people's lives are designed to perform three functions. The first is to hide fears and complexes, the second is to achieve mercantile goals, the third is to assert oneself at the expense of others. Based on this, there are three ways to unmask a person and see his true nature.

The main ways to remove the psychological mask from a person:

Masks hiding deep fears and complexes. The best way to see the true face of a person who is defending himself from the world is warmth, interest and trust in communication. If you sincerely convince such an "incognito" that you are interested in him with all his "offal" and "cockroaches", his mask will "float" like wax. But here you need to be tactful and very careful: if he suspects at least some kind of trick (insincerity, irony), the mask will become even tougher.
Masks with a mercantile purpose. People who are trying to look their best or impress just for the benefit of it are pretty easy to get caught up in. To do this, just do not give them what they want - and you will see the transformation. To get his own, such a person tries to seem better, putting effort into it. Now, when the need to "strain" has disappeared, he will remove the mask.
Masks for self-affirmation. The most durable psychological masks that can only be removed by specialists or critical incidents that make you rethink your life. Sometimes a certain life situation helps to reveal the “mask”, which can bring the wearer of the mask so much that he completely loses his temper.

Questions that will make the interlocutor remember something pleasant and good can help melt the mask. You can also see the true face if you ask clarifying questions during communication - how, why, because of what. They knock out the usual way of thinking and make you think. It is at this moment that the mask flies. Not bad breaks masks and alcohol.

What are masks in people's lives - look at the video:

In our world, full of conventions and stereotypes, it is very difficult to remain yourself. Therefore, mask images become a part of our life, helping us to adapt to the environment, blend into it, and even succeed in something. The main thing, playing in this large-scale performance, is not to lose yourself completely.

What happens to you when you take off your masks?

Being yourself is a necessary condition for being a creator. It is impossible to generate and translate into reality your ideas, your dreams without being yourself at the same time. By ceasing to be himself, a person ceases to be a creator.

But a person, from early childhood, as soon as a person grows up to the ability to dream, they are taught to be anyone, but not how to be themselves. Other people's dreams are imposed on him, devaluing and belittling his own dreams. And thus a person is “killed” already in early childhood, he is “killed” as a creator. And the fact that some people, as creators, "resurrect" from the dead - this can be called a miracle.

What does it mean to be "raised from the dead as a creator"? It means to stop being someone else and become yourself. It means stop wearing masks. It means to stop harboring other people's dreams, other people's ideas. It means to stop being a clown, entertaining someone, living for the sake of everyone, but not for the sake of oneself.

What does it mean to "be anyone"? What does it mean to wear masks? It means living someone else's ideas and dreams, but not your own. It means to translate into reality anyone's ideas and dreams, but not your own.

A person is forced to live by the ideas of relatives and friends. Man is forced to live by the ideas of society. Society, friends, relatives and others determine for a person what exactly he should do and how he should live, they also choose for him the so-called « carnival costumes », simply put - "masks" . And these are not the masks and not the carnival costumes that a person puts on his body. Here we are already talking about spiritual, personal masks and spiritual and personal carnival costumes. Putting a mask on his soul, a person hides from everyone his true emotions, his true mood. Putting a mask on his soul, a person hides his dreams, his ideas and goals.

And otherwise, without these masks and costumes that a person puts on his soul and his spirit, relatives, friends and others do not want to see a person close and dear to them. Yes, he is dear to them, close only for the sole reason that he wears a spiritual mask determined for him, a carnival costume determined for him. And no one wants to see his true mood and his true dreams. So it turns out that our entire planet is flooded with "spiritual clowns", flooded with those who are not who they claim to be, flooded with people in "masks" and "carnival costumes". Not a planet, but a "circus arena". Earth is the setting for "sad and happy clowns".

I put the word “clowns” in quotation marks so that you don’t confuse real clowns with those “sad and funny clowns” that those who want to look in the eyes of other people not who they really are have turned themselves into.

There are no exceptions. Everyone wears masks. But for some, wearing masks is a disadvantage, not an advantage. And you don't have to agree with them. Everyone decides for himself what he needs. For someone who does not want to be a creator, who does not want to turn their ideas and dreams into reality, who is afraid to believe in themselves and their talent, masks are a boon. For someone who does not think of himself as a man, if he does not translate his and only his dreams into reality, masks are evil. And it is also important to note that those for whom "masks" and "carnival costumes" are evil, they have no idols, they are not slaves of someone's ideas. And the people they love and who love them back don't want to see each other wearing masks. And for them, their shortcomings are a reason to start getting rid of them, and not to convince themselves that these shortcomings somehow contribute to their development.

Having put on a mask on his personality, a person naturally finds himself in a world of illusions and among people-illusions, and of course he should never take off his mask there. Masks do not forgive this. To remove the mask, you must first leave the area where you ended up with the help of this mask. Only after leaving the world of illusions and people-masks, a person can calmly and safely remove his mask.

But very many people think that being oneself means showing the whole world one's viciousness, one's savagery and underdevelopment. Mask people are sure that to take off the mask and appear to everyone as you are is to become a boor.

To be yourself does not mean at all to everyone and everyone, it is necessary and not necessary, indiscriminately, at any time, to start saying whatever you want and whatever you think. Being yourself means living your ideas and your dreams. It means to translate into reality your own and only your ideas and your dreams. Being yourself means setting your own goals, not the goals of your parents, your friends, your bosses and others. who forced a person to put on this or that “carnival costume” on his spirit, forced him to put on this or that “mask” on his soul.

But it is precisely this excuse, in order not to remove masks, that people-masks prefer. They say that if they take off the mask, they will get into a lot of trouble. They, who do not want to remove their masks, believe that removing the mask will force them to say whatever they think and harm people. Why do they think so? Because they understand that being themselves means being an honest person. But they understand in their own way what it means to be honest. And they have honesty, for some reason, I don’t know why, but it means “to grind left and right with your tongue everything that lies in your soul” and to everyone and everyone to show yourself as you are. And this is what they, the people-masks, call the truth. This, in their understanding, in the understanding of people-masks, means to be honest.

But! Being honest does not mean always telling the truth. And this does not mean showing yourself as you really are, highlighting your vices and shortcomings. After all, everyone has faults and shortcomings. Moreover, under the truth, many mistakenly understand what is not the truth, but what a person is sure of. And all the more so because in each of us there are many, many shortcomings that are of no interest to anyone and are not pleasant to anyone. People-masks think that if they take off the mask, then by doing so they show everyone their vices. In reality, taking off the mask does NOT mean showing your underdevelopment and depravity. But people of the mask are sure that they put on masks only to hide their shortcomings. People-masks do not even notice that by putting on a mask, they do not hide their vices with it, but, on the contrary, stick them out even more. It is impossible to hide your vices by wearing a mask. And hiding your shortcomings and your vices from people does NOT mean wearing a mask at all. Hiding your shortcomings from people means, remaining yourself, having the strength and courage to restrain yourself in those cases when depravity wants to break out and manifest itself.

To be honest means not to lie. Do you understand the difference? Or do you not see it here? Try to understand that being an honest person does not mean being always truthful, but it means not being false.

No one forces an honest person to always tell the truth. And an honest person never does that. But an honest man always remains honest only because he never lies. Don't learn to tell the truth. Learn not to lie. But a lot of people don't understand this. And it is they who strive to tell the truth and, as it seems to them, starting to tell the truth, in reality begin to lie. But they don't even notice it. Why don't they notice? Because they don't think about how not to lie. They only think about telling the truth.

But here's the question! Where is the lie and where is the truth? How to distinguish? How to understand that everything said is not a lie? It is very easy to do this. Lies where the "mask" is. Lies where the "carnival costume" is. The “mask” on the soul of a person is already a lie. And the “carnival costume” put on the human spirit is also a lie, no matter how beautiful this costume is. It's all lies. Lies to please someone. Someone who insisted on wearing a mask or costume. And a person who says something and at the same time he is not himself, but in a “mask”, or in a “carnival costume”, such a person is always lying. So that a person does not speak, but if he is in a “mask”, or in a “carnival costume”, then he is lying. No matter how beautiful his words may seem, it will still be a lie. And even if the words of the masked man are backed up by facts, it will still be a lie. It is the facts that adorn the lies of the masked men. And the more monstrous the lies of the masked people, the more weighty will be the arguments they present, and the facts they present in defense of their lies.

As for those boors and those pseudo-truth-lovers, for whom to be rude and rude means to be themselves, and who take their stupid confidence in something for truth, who, due to their underdevelopment, have not yet learned anything but rudeness, then there was no truth in their words. I am sure about that. Why am I sure of this? Yes, because the truth cannot be based on hatred. The basis of truth, the basis of any truth, both bitter and sweet, is always mutual respect, compassion and understanding of other people.

The truth is not something that only one person, even one who does not wear masks, is sure of and that he tells other people. The truth is something else, which other people who hear it and who also do not wear masks do not doubt. Until then, there is no truth. The truth cannot be based on hatred and hostility, on the desire to destroy any dissent. Hatred, hostility to other views and thoughts, the desire to destroy any dissent is rudeness.

And rudeness and disrespect for other people, for other people's dreams, for other people's ideas, for someone else's religion, for someone else's philosophy, for someone else's political system, and so on, is characteristic only of people-masks, deceitful people. Only people-masks can break into someone else's house in order to shit there, who, in order to show that they allegedly do not wear masks, but are themselves and carry "truth and truth", begin in a rude form, through violence, sometimes even very cruel violence, to stick out their viciousness, their underdevelopment and impose, impose, impose on everyone and everyone their own and only their own “truth and truth”.

If a person is afraid to believe in himself and in his creative power, this means that a person does not live his own life. This means that a person has put on a mask and lives to please someone, but not himself. It is these people, people-masks, who believe in anyone and anything, but not in themselves. And such a person, in order to stop being afraid, stop being afraid to believe in himself and only in himself, stop relying on fate, on predictions, on various gods, on horoscopes and other types of prophecies, it is necessary to take off the mask. It is necessary to remove the mask put on a person once and by someone whom the person believed and who frightened him very much. And then only the person will become himself and stop lying. The person will become honest and will rise as a creator from the dead.

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Since ancient times, actors have used theatrical masks, comic or tragic, but all those who make up the audience wear a variety of masks in their daily lives - symbols of the roles they play in the play of life. Roles can change - one today, another tomorrow - but the mask will always be on the face. The person never takes it off.

Our masks change with age. As adults, we put on the mask of a professional at work; coming home - a parent or spouse. Some masks involve a complete costume change. As a matter of fact, almost the entire wardrobe of a person is his mask, which is necessary for the performance of a certain role: “I am a seductive young girl”; "I am a business person"; "I'm going on a business trip, hunting, walking..." In each case, I dress up according to the circumstances. Appearance says what role I play at the moment. A soldier, a policeman, a corporate employee, and a janitor who sweeps the street all dress up for their roles.

We change masks not only depending on the situation and mode of action, but also when communicating with different people. Each person has many masks, and he is able to change them with amazing speed. Every time we change roles consciously or unconsciously, we also change their symbols - masks. Communicating with one person, I play one role and put on the mask that is required for this, with another - the role and the mask for it are different. For some, these changes are not difficult. You may have met people - at parties, for example - who can change masks with lightning speed. Watching a person who knows how to move in society as he moves from one group to another is like watching a great actor instantly enter a new character. Sometimes the difference between the masks is almost imperceptible, sometimes the differences are so sharp that they are striking. Having changed the mask, the same person suddenly appears before you in a new image: a serious worker, a joker, a lover, a cynic or an enthusiast.

Some masks we put on consciously: among people of little interest to us, we smile, laugh at stupid anecdotes, and pretend to listen carefully when our thoughts soar far away; We make sad faces at funerals. Sometimes, of course, the mask reflects true, spontaneous experiences: we can laugh with happiness and cry because we are in grief - but even in this case, our gestures and facial expressions, appropriate to the moment, are not innate, but are acquired at a very early age. by imitation. Even some of the most elementary forms of self-expression - for example, a nod in agreement - are not universal, but are accepted only in one or another ethnic group. Most people's collections of masks are simply amazing in their richness: there are thousands of them!

The habit of wearing a mask is given to us from birth. From early childhood, long before the child utters the first word, he learns to scream not in pain, but to attract the attention of his parents, smiles to win someone's favor, and generally plays shows. From childhood, we are taught to speak politely with strangers, because this is part of human relationships. Social pressure forces us to keep within the bounds of decorum. We can't hit someone we don't like, but we can't afford to show love to anyone we like, again because of secular conventions. Sometimes we put on a comic or tragic mask, a mask of boredom or indifference, self-confidence or ridicule - all these are masks accepted in society.

We are accustomed to act with each other as if we are acting out a play, knowing our roles by heart, while our manners serve us as much as a disguise, like clothes. “Excuse me, please”, “How are you?”, “I wish you a good time” - all these words are just a mask of politeness imposed on us by the environment. A well-calculated formal bow is an indispensable attribute of social behavior among the Japanese, while in some other national environment the same role is played by a pat on the back.

Society tends to make people appear worse than they really are, although we don't always realize this. Sometimes we demonize ourselves just to be accepted in a certain circle. In militarized circles, you need to appear tough, harsh and courageous - only in this case you will be accepted as one of your own; the so-called "high society" requires a person to be witty, unprincipled and cynical. Wearing a mask is not only a way of self-affirmation, but also a necessary condition for creating close, intimate relationships. Many years ago a young woman came to me on the eve of her wedding with a series of questions about marriage. Shortly before that, she had become Jewish, but psychologically and emotionally she belonged to the generation of the sixties. We talked about how she imagines her relationship with her husband. Since she went through the hippie school, her ideal of married life was based on complete trust and openness. I told her (although this may not sound like rabbi advice) that being married does not mean that you are constantly in a courtroom where you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. ( No, in truth, this was the real advice of the rabbi - see the Babylonian Talmud, "Yevamot", 65b).

There is no need to lay out all the ins and outs about yourself to each other, you can skip something. About six months later, I met her husband and realized that she did not heed my advice. With the naked eye, you could see how he was suffering. She not only told him everything she thought about him at any given moment, but also spoke in detail about her past. I realized that the poor husband could not bear so much truth.

The positive side of wearing a mask is that it serves to protect our inner self, and sometimes protects others from it. We are forced to wear it in order to maintain the normal course of society, to protect other people, and not harm them. After all, a sharp, rude and unceremonious word is quite capable of destroying a person. One and the same thought can be expressed in a conversation with him both harshly, categorically, and more gently, sparing his feelings.

The mask has a lot of functions, and it is dangerous to take it off. Sometimes the mask, like clothing, covers nakedness; sometimes it is a shield, and sometimes it is massive iron armor. The body must be protected both from overheating or burns, and from severe hypothermia. Physical and psychological nudity have much in common: in both cases, both the mask and the clothing provide a survival advantage. This is not a lie, but a shield, armor, part of the necessary measures that a person is forced to take in order not to die.

Everyone wears a mask, and everyone knows that this is not the person's real face. Do we, by putting it on, commit forgery, falsification? What relationship does a person have with her? The mask reveals and hides at the same time. In a sense, every word is a mask of some idea.

There is always a complex and intricate relationship between the inner "I" (if it exists) and its disguises. We are not mindless beings, we are conscious and use masks of our own choice, which, however, reflects our inner essence. Whenever a person puts on a mask, consciously or unconsciously, it is never completely alien to him and inevitably reflects at least part of the truth about his true self.

We put on a mask as something facing the outside world, but choosing it is a consequence of internal processes, their result, even if we think that we are imitating someone. The image chosen by a person in which he wants to appear before others is no less important for understanding his personality than the study of the inner world. Since our disguises are the result of permanent changes associated with age, status, the requirements of society, we do not have a chosen once and for all, fixed appearance - our mask evolves with us. Where does the shell end and the essence begin? Is the turtle shell her home? Shelter? Is it possible to imagine a turtle without a shell? Of course, there is a huge difference between it and a man: a turtle cannot change its shell at will. Man is a more complex being, and therefore he is able to change and indeed does change his masks. However, we create an image, and it, in turn, affects the formation of personality. There are many works in fiction on the topic of how a person who has carried a mask for a long time cannot take it off, and if he does, he finds that his face without a mask has retained a resemblance to it, although he no longer wants to wear it .

If a change of image is possible, then there must be a true "I" that does this. Is there any at all, is it possible to completely get rid of the mask? A person cannot be seen without it even in his bedroom. He always plays a role - both being among well-dressed people and lying naked under a blanket - although, of course, we are talking about completely different roles. The mask will be different, but it will still remain the same. It seems that we will never be able to completely get rid of the masks.

In many cultures there is a fear of physical exposure, but spiritual exposure is even more fearful. We feel that there is a lot of bad things inside us that can cause disgust, irritation or laughter in others. Therefore, we continue to play roles, fearing to go out of character and expose what is hidden inside. Years of living and studying add new layers to the protective shell of our existence. They can be peeled off one by one, like layers of an onion, but what is left in the end? We are frightened by the idea that our whole being resembles an onion, and if you remove layer after layer from it, then nothing will remain as a result.

On the other hand, we tend to undress. A warrior returning from the battlefield wants to take off his armor, a businessman, once at home, wants to throw off his jacket and tie. In the same way, many veils of politeness or respectability tire us out, and we may develop a desire to expose what is hidden under them. We hope that by being naked, we will find lightness, freedom, even happiness. Sometimes it seems to us that if we were able to throw off the masks of education or intelligence, we would discover our inner essence under them. This feeling is based on the assumption that ordinary people are more truthful, authentic, real, artless. Is it so? A “naked” person, a primitive person, a person without a mask - is he more honest and more natural than in a mask? Is it imposed or as natural as aspects of personality known only to ourselves? Is it right to consider a naked person more natural than a well-dressed gentleman? The "Real Adam" - Naked or Clothed?

So what happens when people take off their “clothes” and say what they think? Let's express the same thought in a different way so that it looks more picturesque. Suppose I say to someone, “I want to see you as you really are. Get undressed! The man undresses, remains completely naked. Then I say: “No, this is not enough. You are still dressed. Take off all the flesh. We have to get to the deepest point. To the bone." Is the skeleton really more authentic than the human body with flesh and blood? Is this the essence of man? Is it better to see the "real person"?

But does a person who undergoes psychoanalysis really know the true self? Removing all the layers, one after another, reveals not at all the “true” essence of the personality, but only another facet of it. All this is a partial reality. A small child, having learned to take off clothes from a doll, will begin to undress all the dolls that fall under his arm. Then he will try to undress the dog. Perhaps children have a truly scientific curiosity: they want to see the truth, to know what is inside every thing.

What is behind this metaphor? What is the true essence of man? Are the garments we wear as adults worse than what we were born with? If you deprive a person of everything he has acquired during his life and leave only what was originally inherent in him, he will not become cleaner from this. The pure spiritual essence of the individual belongs to another world; it is not all his inner "I". Personality is of a combined nature and includes flesh, blood, feelings, mind, temperament, soul and ... masks.

The true "I" most likely does not exist. His search is not to answer the question whether it is possible to be completely naked, and not whether such exposure reveals the real truth. The main thing is to understand whether such a tearing of the covers can be considered an achievement. That naked being that will appear before us - is it better than the former man? Or vice versa: a changed, civilized, smart person is higher in his level?

Here is a story about a meeting between Rabbi Akiva and the Roman governor of Palestine, Tinney Rufus (whom the Jews called the tyrant Rufus), to illustrate this confusing issue. A philosophical dispute took place between them, which was connected, on the one hand, with the spiritual collapse of paganism in Rome itself, and on the other hand, with political friction between the Jewish population and the Roman rulers. ( This happened around 130 AD. e., before the uprising of Bar Kokhba against the Romans. Rabbi Akiva was one of the greatest thinkers of his time, indeed, of all time. Tinney Rufus did not win this argument; he completed it later by simply ordering the execution of his opponent).

The Roman asked Rabbi Akiva: “Which is higher, nature or what people do with it?” Rabbi Akiva answered without hesitation: “What people do is higher.” The Roman asked the following question: "Can man create heaven and earth?" “No,” Akiva said, “we cannot create heaven and earth, but what people can do, they do better. Look, on the one hand, at the stalk of flax, and on the other, at the cloth made from it; look at the heap of wheat and the loaf of bread. Which of these creations is higher? Finding no answer, the Roman asked, "Tell me, why are you circumcised?" Tinney Rufus wanted to prove that nature is more perfect than the creations of human hands, thereby refuting one of the main provisions of Judaism, which says that man is an accomplice in the matter of Creation, he is responsible for this world and is obliged to transform it, making it better. Rabbi Akiva did not allow him to develop this idea. He didn't mean to be joking, and his words weren't a tactical ploy. From the position presented by Rabbi Akiva, far-reaching conclusions follow. A natural, natural object is not necessarily higher or more perfect. A person who is dressed, and therefore more fit, moves to another, higher level of perfection.

The Biblical commandment concerning the clergy says: "And make them a linen underclothes to cover their nakedness, from the waist to the knees" ("Exodus", 28:42). This commandment is not intended to accustom the clergy to modesty, so that no one could see the intimate parts of their bodies naked (they wore long shirts to the very ankles). She, apparently, pursues a different goal: to hide the nakedness of the priests from themselves.

This dress has a symbolic meaning and is necessary for some rituals, but it also has a psychological meaning. Each person has something that is better to hide from everyone, including yourself. The desire to expose the hidden is not always commendable. Clothing does not help us get rid of our secrets, but only hides them. Constantly turning to them and exposing them to the public, you can cause yourself severe harm. There are negative aspects in every person's personality that should be suppressed and hidden away so that there is no temptation to develop them and even make them dominant. We all have a flaw in us that we often don't even realize. As long as evil is hidden, a person can still somehow fight against it, but when it is exposed, the fragile balance of his "I" is disturbed and evil becomes more dangerous than when it was in a latent state. The French philosopher Montaigne wrote that if people were punished for their thoughts, then everyone would deserve to be hanged several times a day.

Such suppression can be seen not only as a defense mechanism against outsiders - it also protects people from themselves.

There is such an Aramaic expression: "That the heart does not open the mouth." In the same way, there are things that the heart does not reveal even to itself. Only exceptional people can peer into the abyss of their soul without trembling. Peering into it is like punching through a crust of caked lava in a crater: a red-hot mass can break out and incinerate everything around.

Thus, the mask of chastity is nothing more than a means of self-defense. It should be removed with great care and as little as possible. “The most deceitful of all is the human heart and utterly depraved; who knows him?" - said the prophet Jeremiah (17:9). G‑d naturally knows this; some of the people suspect that this is the case, but it is more convenient to be ignorant. The cover is not a deception, but rather a way of containment and control. Everything in a person should be in interaction with each other, he should use what he has wisely, but first of all, he should keep his internal predators in a cage.

At one of the debates about mercy, the sages spoke of those who pretend to need donations, but in fact can do without them. They argued that a person who pretended to be lame and begged for alms on the basis of this would not die until he actually became lame, and that the one who pretended to be sick would be driven to the grave by the very disease that he feigned. The mask becomes reality. The mask has a very great influence on a person, even against his will. One of the participants in this dispute said: “So it is with those who pretend to be lame. And what then awaits the one who pretends to be a saint? The answer is the same: he will not die until he becomes a saint. And this is really a punishment, because the life of a saint is immeasurably harder than the life of a saint. But this is also a reward - for the fact that a person put on just such a mask.

The Midrash says that on Mount Sinai, the Lord appeared before everyone in the same guise in which He appeared before to man. According to Jewish concepts, a leader is a person who is able to find an individual approach to everyone. Maybe this is a gift from God: to be able to appear in front of a person the way he wants to see you.

Perhaps the root question is not whether a person can be naked, and not whether he should do it, but what kind of mask he should wear. In what way should I dress up my personality so that it looks the most exalted? Man and his mask, nature and artifact, hand and tool - all this is interconnected. Human nature is unique: we have been given the ability to choose our own mask - a demon or an angel.

Notes

“Kohelet of the Servant”, 12:9, “Midrash Tehillim”, Psalm 9.
Mishnah, "Pea", 8:9.
Shemot of a servant, 5:9.