About the masks we wear every day. Masks that people wear (part 1.) Mask of a cheerful person

What are these masks? In fact, these are coping strategies - techniques that we use to cope with difficult situations in everyday communication. They protect us like armor, but can interfere with relationships with those closest to us. By becoming aware of the protections we are accustomed to using, we can begin to heal from past wounds and enjoy real intimacy with loved ones.

While coping strategies are as varied as our personalities, here are ten of the most common masks.

1. Cool and unflappable

With all his appearance, this person makes it clear that he will remain calm in any situation. Riding above the wave during conflicts or in the midst of chaos, he gazes at you with the composure of a Tibetan monk.

However, one of two things happens.

His bottled up emotions sooner or later lead to a nervous breakdown. Or he periodically presses the valve and releases steam when no one is watching. A calm and unflappable boss might explode and yell at a cashier at a supermarket or send a scathing letter to a subordinate who made a minor mistake. But do not worry - in this case, he controls the situation and knows who can be chosen for the role of switchman, and who is not.

2. Comedian

Humor is a brilliant defense mechanism. If you're laughing, then you're not crying anymore. Although sometimes it still looks very similar.

Humor can prevent rapprochement, will not let you get too close and find out what's on your mind.

The comedian jokes so that the conversation does not become too deep and real, in order to avoid discussion and exchange of opinions. Unable to listen to his partner to the end, he puts on the mask of a comedian and closes the topic jokingly. So he leaves the conflict, but does not solve the problem. Accustomed to laughing off for any reason, the comedian does not let anyone get too close and in some ways remains alone.

3. Eternal excellent student

Some people become honors students not because of the love of fives and diplomas. For them, it's a defense mechanism.

If everything is done correctly, then their world will not shatter into pieces. Of course, there are pleasant moments in the life of an excellent student. He gets his moment of glory and praise, but anxiety always remains his companion - the flip side of this mask.

In later life and relationships, the eternal excellent student always has a fear of error. In partnerships, his positive and penetrating qualities - perseverance, obsession with an idea - can sometimes work against him.

4. Martyr-savior

Many people are familiar with people who burn at work, selflessly alone save the world and make any sacrifices for the sake of loved ones. On the one hand, they are able to connect families with their compassion, on the other hand, they can lose those who love them because of the constant stories about their victims. They do good - and immediately make a drama out of it.

The martyr seeks to take his place in the world and believes that he can do this only if he plays the most important role in someone's life. But this makes people feel uncomfortable around him and makes the relationship uncomfortable.

5. Buller

Any team where we had to work, in essence - the fifth grade of high school at a break. School yard with all kinds of bullers, all types and shades.

Their control methods can be very subtle. They use gentle manipulation to make you think like them - or aggressive onslaught, to the point of using brute force. Buller appears impenetrable, giving instructions to everyone and setting his own rules, but behind this mask lies insecurity and a passionate thirst for recognition.

Buller needs respect and recognition so much that he is ready to get them at any cost, breaking any boundaries.

6. Lover of everything to control

He needs to be sure that everything is in its place, that all notebooks are neatly wrapped in covers and pencils are sharpened.

Like a mother hen, he doesn't let anyone out of his sight and feels responsible for everyone around him - even if they don't want to. By controlling everything and everyone, such a person copes with his main fear of the unknown, uncertainty.

Want to find out who in your environment wears a control freak mask? He will prove himself as soon as something goes wrong as he planned.

7. Samoyed

Suffering from the most chronic and advanced case of self-doubt, he unwittingly inspires the same attitude in others.

This person is in a hurry to humiliate himself before someone else does. He believes, perhaps unconsciously, that in this way he will save himself from troubles and disappointments. He avoids any risk and at the same time - any relationship.

8. "A very nice person"

He is ready to do anything to earn the approval of those around him. If there is a colleague in your environment who constantly asks for advice from friends, experts, coaches, then he is a “very nice person”.

His views and values ​​often mimic during the same day, depending on the situation. This is because his self-image is completely made up of the opinions of other people, and without them he simply loses himself.

9. Silent

The person behind this mask is simply terribly afraid of mistakes and rejection. He would rather endure loneliness than take risks and do something that someone might not like. He is silent or says little because he is afraid to say something wrong.

Like the perfectionist, the man behind the silent mask believes that everything that is said and done in this world must be perfect. Although the whole world around us with all its appearance proves the opposite.

10. Eternal party-goer

He has a lot of acquaintances, the calendar is filled to overflowing with invitations to social events. Perhaps his life lacks meaning, perhaps he fills his days with parties and events so that there is no time to think about it.

Or is everything simpler, and his only talent is small talk?

Do you understand that everyone has a desire to be what they would like to be, or so that others think they are?
In fact, most of the people you will ever meet are not who they say they are. Of course, a person speaks his name 90% of the time, but the character that he shows is just a facade. People have developed a variety of masks to hide the true emotions inside.

The masks are designed to hide what is inside - the real animal, often something too shameful, and therefore hidden from others. If a person exposes this truth by removing the mask, putting it on public display, then in the vast majority of cases it can disgrace us. Unfortunately for those people who wear masks, I and many others have learned to see through them.

In this article, I'm going to show you what's behind each mask and what it's for.

Most of us are kind of hypocrites to some degree. Masks are, in fact, a kind of psychological defense mechanism that is designed with the sole purpose of making life easier for a person. People wear masks for a kind of screen necessary for its acceptance by society. After all, having received a refusal from society, a person can have very serious consequences, starting with contempt and ending with a complete outcast.

But we've become so addicted to the masks we use that we hide our true faces, even when we don't really need to. With that said, I want to tell you about the true motives of people who wear masks and you probably met them. After reading, you may recognize many of those with whom you communicate. So, let's begin:

1. Unpleasant
It is easy to identify them by boorish inclinations, first to speak, then to think. These people rarely hide anything. They mistakenly believe that the louder they speak (or the more obnoxious they act), the less likely you will be able to see how lonely, cowardly and cowardly they really are. The loudest people tend to be the weakest. This is similar to how some animals (such as some species of lizards and birds) change their appearance to scare away potential predators.

2. Pretty cute
People who are very physically very attractive and use these qualities for their own selfish purposes, at all stages of life. Since they have noticed since childhood that their appearance brings them positive results in 80%, they usually do not develop any other qualities of their personality and thus remain empty-headed (in the case of girls, it is customary to say "blonde") or hopelessly arrogant (in the case of boys). And when you refuse them, it strikes them with a crushing blow, because they are not used to hearing the word "no." When you meet these people, you can use them as an opportunity to practice saying no and saying no. Thus, you will make real men and women out of them.

3. Pious
These people usually hide two things behind the mask:

The fact that they often have many more sins than they let on.
Also, the fact that they are actually not so bright (even if they show and hint at it with all their appearance).
These people think that everything is either black or white. They believe that good and evil are simple terms to define and live. However, these people are generally no smarter than most, and often use the mysticism of religion to hide the fact that they are in fact ignorant. It is easy for them because religion does not follow the rules of logic. When meeting with such, one should ask only difficult questions. And you will immediately see that they begin to squirm, because their "rules" of life do not cover anything that is really valuable.

4. Lawyers
People who always use strict rules to win an argument or defend themselves are incapable of thinking for themselves. They are afraid of people who are smarter than them. It's because the smart one is kind of challenging them, he thinks "outside their rules" - and it's tearing out their comfort zones. You will find many good people who follow these rules. These people tend to rely on other people to create rules for them to follow. Without rules, they are hopeless. They feel more comfortable as followers than leaders. They want to be told what to do and what to think.

5. Dramatic Actor/Actress
People who like to overreact to everything, this is the most deceptive mask. These people can become professional actors if they want to. In fact, many professional actors and actresses are like that by default. They are especially dangerous because they can trigger emotions on command. Although the majority of these people are women, there are sometimes men who also fit the bill. These people use for their own purposes, various tricks, shouting, etc. - mainly because they like to be the center of attention. They overreact to everything when they want others to take them more seriously than necessary. Advice, do not pay attention to them, for them this is the greatest insult.

6. "Hidden pervert"
There are two kinds of shy people:

The ones that are really, really shy
And those for whom this is temporary “shyness”.
The second puts on a mask of shyness to hide the fact that they are a "pervert". These people love to be rude, obnoxious, wild - especially in the bedroom, but they don't want anyone to know about it. Their ostentatious shyness helps them hide the fact that they have no taboos about almost everything. The "shy" facade helps them to filter out those who will accept them for who they are. Behind this mask, they hide an innate desire to be a dirty whore, they like it to be hot, rough, etc. Tip: Use alcohol. Shyness disappears like the first snow after the first glass. Repeat as needed.

7. Cactus
People who are cynics in life, constantly speak with sarcasm or caustic words in their statements about everything, but in fact they are very lonely, unhappy people. To hide this fact, they spoil the emotional value of everything with words so that others around them also feel like them. Tip: Ignore them when they open their mouths to mean things. Let them believe that what they say is important.

8. Passive-aggressive
These are people who are very secretive, when they want to talk about their problems, they prefer to throw hints at you from all sides to express their dissatisfaction. The bottom line is that these people try to avoid open confrontation as much as possible. This is because they are actually cowards who want to fight but have neither the desire nor the strength to do so. They are easy to scare. As such, they pursue evasive methods of warfare, while being very polite and unbearably polite. They rely on the fact that you, respecting their boundaries, will not conflict. Deprive them of this opportunity. Start resisting them. If they say it's a stupid and childish war, just remind them who started it. Tip: Let them know that you will openly oppose them, thereby depriving them of power. This will drive them crazy.

9. A person who wants to be like his idol
These people are the easiest to spot. They are always surrounded by objects from the life of the one they worship. They sacrifice their individuality, trying to be like their idol. And hence the problems of imitators: They have no self-respect. They are loyal only to those whom they perceive as a valuable source of spiritual uplift - therefore, their loyalty is conditional. Telling such a person that he is a “copycat” hurts them very much, this is the most painful place. But why stop? Sow seeds of doubt. That he is not so good, etc.. and the whole essence of him will manifest.

10 Restless Comedian
As strange as it may sound, these are people who love to make others laugh (especially at the expense of those who are around) thereby trying to redirect attention away from their own insecurities. They hope that when it's funny, the attention of others is occupied, that this reduces the likelihood that their shortcomings (mostly imaginary) will go unnoticed. Sometimes this comes from the fact that they feel stiff and nervous. To themselves, they reason that if everyone laughs, then this will solve the issue in any critical situation. Although there are often situations that do not require humor. These people are relatively harmless. Tip: make friends and give them confidence. And for those who use their humor to offend others, use the focus on themselves. And keeping the attention focused on them will kill their self-confidence. They will explode under the weight of their own insecurities. Comedians tend to be right-brained and hence "fuzzy logic", so it's easy to kill their charisma.

11. Guru
They just know a lot of little things, about many disparate facts - but rarely their information is of any useful value. They flaunt their expert opinions to earn the respect of their peers. This usually works because the environment is usually people who are on the same level. These people can be called - one-eyed, who live in the country of the blind. Since they operate well with various knowledge, as a rule, they are always one step ahead. They are not afraid of being caught because, again, their audience is those who rarely delve deeply into the essence of the issue. "Gurus" stay that way until someone smart enough to catch their bluff comes along. That's when the real coward comes out. The only weapon they have is self-confidence. If you publicly prove that you know the opposite of his claims that he is a liar, then shame and guilt will crush him.

12. Boastful
People who like to show off, this mask is very unsafe. They tend to get so used to bragging that there comes a time in their lives when that mask becomes second nature. Most of their bragging is false - these lies are designed to cover those shortcomings in life for which they are terribly ashamed. Boastful people are, in fact, quite a pity. When communicating with them, there is no end to the fact that the stories that you hear are not invented by him now. If you want to have fun with them, openly say in front of everyone that they came up with everything. Say openly that you know that they are lying, without proving anything. You will immediately see on the face of a bouncer how he will begin to wriggle, change his story, etc.

13. Intelligent mask
Intellectuals are actually very shy people, so they hide behind their minds. Intellectuals tend to be terribly afraid of rejection. Therefore, they do not like risk and are often in the hope of being asked out on a date, rather than playing the role of the initiator. Often these people like to ask rhetorical questions in an attempt to confuse their interlocutor in an argument. Just remind them that it is pointless to ask a question they are not ready to answer themselves. This will cause a little shock and awe, thus helping to bring the discussion to a close.

14. Bureaucratic
People who like to complicate matters are actually very insignificant people who are trying to make themselves and gain self-respect by creating red tape out of nothing. Bureaucratic people are not sure of their achievements in life. This is because deep down they know that their relevance is temporary and subject to change. Officials often think that value is directly proportional to size and complexity - which is a delusion, this is what determines their highly incorrect behavior. Telling them no, clearly and without objection, will make them feel powerless.

15. Your friends
Many of your friends have become friends with you, just because you are useful to them. You should know that friendship is like a deal - that means that there is a relationship of receiving and giving. Once the intrinsic value decreases, the friendship ends. Even those friends who were with you in difficult times - they are friends because, and you give them the feeling that you will do the same. Nobody does anything for free.

Conclusion
Now that you understand that most of the people you know have been wearing masks all along, you can now determine the type of mask you have. Yes you! Your mask says what you are trying to hide. Which of these 15 masks is right for you? If you think you are not one of them, then you probably belong to more than one. Further, when you understand the nature of your own mask, you can meet new people and discover the nature of your fear. Knowing the nature of your fear, then you can understand how to overcome it. After you do this, the minds of mankind are at your feet and you are the king of the world.(psihiya.ru)

We all wear masks for different reasons. Some masks we put on because that's what we really want to be. Some we wear because we can't accept what's underneath or because someone needs to see us that way. And we wear some masks in order to stay in the shade, but there is one drawback in wearing masks: they can be torn off at any moment ...

“What do women want?” - sooner or later every man asks this question, and everyone is at a loss. He tries to solve a complex puzzle of difficult female logic, especially if there is an interesting object nearby. From this moment the game of masks begins. Sometimes it captures, it becomes so easy that you yourself don’t know where reality is and where fantasy is. But the game can also be difficult, forcing you to periodically step over yourself, driving you into despondency and depression. In any case, this is just a game, and over time everyone gets tired of it ... Many people naively believe that pretense and masks are just a woman's privilege. I do not want to disappoint anyone, but men often use such means to conquer girls' hearts. Sometimes, their masks are ridiculously obvious, but women believe in fairy tales and are ready to be deceived in the hope that they have met their handsome “prince”.

Are you looking for a good psychotherapist? Visit the page of my psychological office. " " I will try to help you!

All girls have different ideals, but globally, the evaluation criteria are quite similar. As a rule, representatives of the beautiful half of humanity want to see next to them a strong man who is self-confident, noble, generous, delicate, gentle, and capable of beautiful deeds. Well, a smart man will try to be just like that: he will give a coat on the way out, open the door to his lady, look after her, be kind and gallant. Any female representative cannot but appreciate such a reverent appeal to herself, and the ice in her heart will slowly begin to melt. But as soon as the "fortress" is conquered, the outer "tinsel" disappears. There are fewer calls, flowers are given less and less, and instead of restaurants, the man offers to stay at home and watch TV.

Unfortunately, such changes cannot but upset a woman, because you want an eternal fairy tale, a constant “bouquet and candy” period, and a “prince”, always dressed with a needle. But, if at first we see only the shell of a person, then over time, when the mask of the mute gets bored, we manage to see his “insides”, revealing a lot of new, no less pleasant qualities. It is quite possible that everything new that you will see will more than overlap the initial opinion about a person, both in a good sense and not very much.

In addition to the “prince” mask, there is also a “melancholic” mask. This will be a man who has survived a lot, tired of the difficult trials of fate, a man who has lost faith in his own abilities. Most likely, behind this mask is a person who is very afraid of being uninteresting and easily accessible, so he came up with the image of a certain martyr for whom a woman, in the literal sense, can become a “lifeline”. On the one hand, this type is a kind of variety, but everything is good in moderation. There is hardly a girl who is ready to constantly act as a "vest", solve her man's problems, and pull him out of depression. Sooner or later, she herself will want to find a “strong shoulder” to lean on. Imagine how disappointed she will be when she learns that her beloved “martyr” is able to wash the cup himself, vacuum the carpets, and the world does not collapse.

Not just how popular among the stronger sex is the mask of romance. If a beautiful stranger sunk into the soul of such a young man, then believe me, he will do everything, but he will achieve it. There will be a million scarlet roses, and serenades under the windows, and a candlelit dinner, and spontaneous gifts. But such an ideal life partner will stay with you exactly as long as his romantic ideas last. As a rule, the supply is limited and as soon as it runs out, he will find a new victim and the game will start again. After all, such men do not fall in love with you, they only like the emotions that they give you. If the “disguiser” still prefers to stay with you, then don’t be upset if one fine morning you don’t find a bouquet of roses or breakfast on your nightstand, this does not mean that life is over, it only indicates that the mask has been torn off and you have to meet a new person.

Another male mask is a macho tempter. He will be laconic, but will not forget to once again hint at his masculine strength and emphasize physical virtues. On the one hand, why not, if it is really that good, then you should use it while you have the opportunity, but on the other hand, something stops you. After all, intuition correctly suggests: a real macho will not stick out his insides, and tell what a great lover he is right and left, he will rather prove it in practice. Therefore, it is worth considering whether your “pseudo-macho” will turn out to be an offended boy who simply needs free ears to talk about all the troubles that have fallen on his hard lot.

Many will agree that the most repulsive mask for men is the mask of a rude dork who makes vulgar and rather offensive jokes, and is periodically and frankly rude. Such behavior is designed to put the object you like into a stupor from undisguised cynicism and aggression, after which the victim becomes more accessible and surrenders without a fight. Despite cultural progress, this behavior is still found among men. Its representatives go against the standard scheme, if usually a person shows his best sides and qualities, then in this case, he tries to demonstrate all the most vile and disgusting character traits, according to the principle: “If you love me like this monster, then in the role Prince, I will be nice to you too! But not every girl has the strength to get to the bottom of the bright and pure side of her chosen one, many will leave without even trying to find out if he has it at all.

Having dismantled each mask, one involuntarily wonders why they are needed at all. After all, no one can wear it forever. Sooner or later you will stumble, revealing your true face. And it’s not a fact that your so-called “half” will be delighted with the real you. So maybe you shouldn’t waste your time or hers playing giveaway, but look for the one who also loves karting, not ballet, and will be happy to stay at home instead of going to a social event.

A mask, a disguise is not a completely natural behavior or facial expression that hides something that is undesirable for display.

Mask - protection from excessive communication and other mental influences. This is a departure from communication at the level of formal interaction with other people.

Each mask can correspond to a certain theme of thoughts; what the mask thinks about can be suggested by fixation of the gaze, body position, hand gestures.

Masks interfere with communication, but help pastime. If you want to understand people, give up most of your masks, of which more than half are outdated and are an additional burden in communication. Don't be afraid to show your face, often people are so busy with their mask that they won't see it anyway, don't be afraid that someone will harm you if you practice this. The less masks involved in your behavior, the more natural and pleasant it is for others. In communication, try to help the interlocutor see the reflection of his mask, often this can significantly improve your relationship with him.

The mask hides the face.

The closer the mask is to the face, the more it looks like it.

The mask is the shape.

Two identical masks do not live side by side.

Masks define our roles, and our roles define our masks.

Surprise takes off the mask, and love takes it off.

You can open the mask for yourself by looking into her eyes.

Mask! Do I know you!

There are a lot of people, but few masks, so you can see your mask on another.

Every mask needs a mirror, but not every mirror needs a mask.

Masks are removed or changed.

It's easier to see without a mask.

Who wants to change finds a remedy, and who does not want to find a reason.

The fewer masks, the more natural the behavior.

Collection of masks

Revealing and analyzing masks, roles, scenarios is a difficult and interesting thing. To begin with, a small list from the collection of masks. Try to continue it and describe each mask. Collection of masks: "Concerned", "Thinker", "Sage", "Merry", "Prince (Princess)", "Honored Pensioner", "Cool", "Lucky", "Pierrot", "Jester", "Good-natured" , "Poor Man", "Naive", "Vanguard", etc.

The name of the mask is often the same as the name of the role.

Personal roles and masks

Masks fetter and hide I, personal roles give freedom and develop. At the same time, in the process of mastering, almost any personal role for some time turns out to be a slightly alien and interfering mask, only with time becoming a convenient tool of the Self or even its natural part. See →

From the Sinton website

A common craze in modern psychology is the advice to "become yourself." Is it necessary to strive to seek the true self, or is it better to learn how to effectively use a set of masks? “The mask is an ambiguous thing. On the one hand, this is a lie. On the other hand, it is a necessity, - says Oleg Novikov. - Probably, it is important to distinguish between social, for example, service relations, and human, personal. A mask in society can be part of a ritual, a necessity. The mask in personal relationships can be part of the deception and the beginning of the war. I do not believe in a universal recipe in this area. The mask has unpleasant features. The mask sticks, the mask is often put on out of fear, and then they are afraid to take it off. The mask is often mistaken for their real face. But the mask is always poorer. And the face under it, sorry, sometimes deteriorates. By wearing it all the time, we lose ourselves a little... On the other hand, by removing the mask at the wrong time, we sometimes force people to see what they would not like to see. Sometimes we show what we would not like to show. In any case, there is no single answer. Discretion is required: both from the one who wears the mask, and from the one who deals with this person. "Any person, when he communicates with someone, he communicates from the position of some image, - Igor Nezovibatko believes. - I am a lot of different images. There are images that are adequate in this situation, useful, and there are images that are inadequate - incorrectly applied, or taking away a lot of strength and energy from a person, or those that do not lead to the goal.In a more developed person, the set of images is more interesting and diverse, and they are richer, more diverse, in a less developed person - less diverse, more primitive. Therefore, how much do you need to open them or not? Rather, you need to create that set of images that leads to the goal, does not take a lot of strength and energy, does not exhaust a person. They are needed if they help to go to the goal. "

The topic is not new. Now they talk a lot about those "masks" that we wear in everyday life, about how they appear, and how, at times, they replace the original.

There is a fairly well-known film "The Mask", shot just on this topic. He perfectly illustrates the situation of the possible "growth" of the mask and the loss of one's identity.

And if you think about it, do we know ourselves, our true selves, without masks?

Not for the boss, not for the spouse, not for friends, but for yourself? What are we to ourselves? When was the last time we met ourselves - beloved, true and not covered up?

Maybe it never occurs to someone that the face is naked, but it happens. And then you can see the true essence of man. But it's such a rarity these days. To expose our essence, we need infinite trust, which we have long forgotten how to experience.

We are always in society , and he is demanding and merciless, and therefore we are compelled to "keep face".

Let me quote Lincoln's words on this score.

One day, President Abraham Lincoln, after rejecting a recommendation from his advisors to appoint a certain person to an important position, explained that he did not like the person's face.

“A person is not responsible for his face,” the advisers objected.
“Every man after forty years of age is responsible for his face,” Lincoln replied.

So we are responsible for the expression of our face, sometimes forgetting to relax even at home, alone with ourselves.

Of course, Lincoln meant that a man in his forties should be able to control his emotions.

But this is already "aerobatics".

The impenetrable and calm face of the sage suggests that he has come a long way to himself. His tolerance for external factors is based not on patience, but on understanding what is happening.

Patience is fraught with the fact that sooner or later it will end, and we will get a storm of emotions from scratch. That's where the bowl overflowed, there it will flood, regardless of objective reasons.

Those. the reaction to the three of the son can be like a dangerous life situation - the stimulus will not correspond to the reaction. But there's nothing you can do about it emotions are not easy to deal with, especially if there is no contact with oneself, and emotions are not given an outlet in time.

And if you need a "mask" for contact with the world, then there is definitely no contact with yourself.

There is a need to make the desired impression, to please, to be accepted. And notice it's not about behavior thoughtful or relevant to the task. This is about the image, the new creation of yourself, in the image and likeness of subjectively perceived social desirability. He or they if there are several masks, is fixed and declared in any situation, and eventually becomes a substitute (and) "I" personality.

And we do our best to maintain this newly created image. Many “keep” their faces, even when they are alone, but what if someone is watching? There are fewer opportunities to relax. And today's passion for selfies exacerbates the situation many times over. A person simply does not have intimate time for himself. Some even manage to take pictures of themselves during hygiene procedures. And, in the end, even they themselves forget what they look like.

The result of such a situation, it seems to me, can be a complete rejection of oneself.

This, in part, can be observed even now: pumped up lips, tattooed eyebrows, made noses, chins, strained faces.

Previously, the phrase "stretched face" meant a disgruntled face. By a freak accident, now a quickly stretched face allows one to like oneself and is considered beautiful.

And what is it, in fact? This is a rejection of one's own image, of one's individuality. and creating a stationary mask, i.e. the “keep face” option is no longer suitable; a monumental, non-removable protective mask is needed.

What is she protecting from?

• From self-doubt
• from rejection of oneself and one's own characteristics,
• from vulnerability, etc..

A person, transforming himself, expects the effect of pride, satisfaction and self-confidence.

But does it really help?

Most people who resort to such a cardinal transformation eventually find other shortcomings in themselves and again go to the magician - reenactor. And so on ad infinitum.

The mouth no longer closes, the eyes do not open, there are bumps under the skin, and the process of “self-improvement” continues. It turns out that this option of dealing with self-doubt does not work, or does it work for a short time?

But, despite this, more and more people resort to such methods, losing their health, appearance, liveliness of facial expressions, and sometimes they simply turn themselves into monsters.

This is how much you need to hate yourself to like the appearance of a bald, tattooed, bumpy monster with vampire fangs more than your own.

But finding a way to yourself without resorting to quick methods is not easy. Loving yourself with all the flaws is also difficult. The work is not for one day, and few people dare to go this way. But in vain. The quality of life in this case really improves, and health remains with you, and there is more joy in life.

There is another destructive aspect of wearing masks, in addition to the loss of one's own individuality - moral decay and spiritual impoverishment.

At one time, I read a few historical essays on the creation of various kinds of masks in different cultures.

A general conclusion was formed - the mask protects, provides an opportunity, hiding behind it, to follow one's desires without fear of consequences.

Now this function is carried by avatars on the Internet. Remember, as in Tirso de Molina: "Behind the mask, any schoolboy can make eyes at the countess." This is happening online right now. A person, hiding behind his avatar, pours out a stream of shadow bile on those around him and is not responsible for his behavior. And impunity corrupts. Therefore, all sorts of trolls are multiplying at such a speed.

The history of Venetian masks perfectly illustrates the situation of moral decay.

Initially m The asca was the symbol of the Venice Carnival. Venice has always been a socially prosperous province. The inhabitants of Venice created a unique culture, where a person, hiding his face, also hid his social status. Any commoner, wearing a mask at the carnival, could claim the role of a nobleman. It got to the point that people liked this game so much that they began to wear masks in everyday life and lead a dissolute lifestyle. Even the nuns allowed themselves outside the walls of the monastery, hiding under a mask, to indulge in debauchery. The moral level dropped sharply. Eventually, a law was passed banning the wearing of masks in everyday life. They were allowed to wear only on holidays.

So what happens when we invariably wear our intangible social masks in our daily lives?

Approximately the same thing happens. Our values ​​are tailored to the image we strive to create. Over time, we become different and no longer understand where is ours and where is superficial. Our true identity is changing we believe that under this mask you can do this, and under this mask you can…

A modest and shy girl is jealous of her friend's freedom of communication. She tries to imitate her puts on "war paint", goes to a nightclub and tries to imitate her behavior. A feeling of ease in communication is created, and the girl repeats this behavior from time to time, training herself for the image she likes.

But is she prepared for the consequences of such behavior, because, unlike her friend, a vulnerable and sensitive heart is hidden under bright makeup. And the fact that her friend casually discards her will hurt her extremely and make her suffer. But the girl believes that this image of a femme fatale is absolutely necessary for her and continues to diligently cultivate it, until she completely loses herself.

Can't a sweet, gentle, domestic girl be interesting for who she is? How many men are looking for such girls, because it is with them that it is good to create a family and raise children.

Where did this girl get the idea that she was not like that? and she should be different. But this is already, as usual, from the family.

A child who feels his value as he is does not need to conform to any image, and he has every chance to live a happy life in harmony with himself. But the one who endlessly hears that he is not like that, not the same, will not be able to stand up for himself, will never find a partner - he has to look for a socially desirable image of himself that corresponds to the ideas and expectations of others.

We are often surprised how much a person changes with age.

There was such a sweet girl, and now an evil aunt. Or, she was so shy and inconspicuous, now she is so lively and open. Or, he was such an uninteresting young man, and with age he became such a charismatic man.

Some will say it is burden of the years and misfortune, or vice versa success, so changed appearance. But, it is curious that often those who experience terrible events, and, at times, sink to the very bottom, escaping from there, become more open, calm and friendly. Their faces look enlightened and radiate love and kindness. No wonder they say that the soul is perfected by suffering.

It is impossible to draw a parallel between the person who experienced the trials and another who lived easier. Rather, it's an inside job. Peace is not given to anyone just like that, neither rich nor poor, it must be earned and suffered. It seems to me that when the face opens and clears up with age, we can say that a person has gone through some serious path of self-discovery and he no longer needs to wear masks.

You might argue that a kind face can also be a mask. And here it is not. There is a difference that can be noticed - these are tense facial muscles. The mask can be recognized by the tension and unnaturalness of emotions.

How many masks we create in our life. There is a mask for work, there is a mask for friends, for relatives, a holiday mask for the day off, and God knows how much more. How many of these layers should be on us , layers of "subjective social desirability".

How many layers do you need to remove to find yourself underneath? And which "are you real"? And do we really want to know? Yes and no. The unknown is, of course, scary. You never know what you will find there, maybe it will be a good-natured creature, or maybe you will release a monster. Maybe the unknown is still better than the merciless truth? And lighter and warmer under all these protective layers?

Everyone answers this question for himself. And everyone decides what is best for him.

But I believe that each of us, such as he is, is able to bring something very important to life and society. People who look the same and think the same are a crowd, and if it's rude, a herd.

Don't try to fit in, don't try to be like someone else. The world needs your individuality!!!

And I'll put my poem back in again. As if in place.