Constantly offended by trifles. Why are girls offended? What will accumulated grievances lead to?
Resentment poisons life and complicates relationships with others. Like a sticky web, it entangles you and leaves you alone. It makes you not notice the good around you, makes you constantly return to the situation from the past and think about the offender again and again, scrolling this situation in your head. The mood is spoiled. I don't want to communicate with others. Offensive, unfair words lie like a heavy stone on the soul. A vengeance plan ripens in my head. And then words of discontent, criticism and insults fly to the offender.
All of this adds tension to relationships with other people. And long-term and frequent grievances are a source of constant stress and can even lead to various psychosomatic illnesses. Thus, grievances are simply dangerous for our psyche and we need to get rid of them. Only the question is: how? How to stop being offended?
The answer is given by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.
Cry of the soul, or tired of being offended
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan tells in great detail about those who tend to be offended. They are honest and straightforward people who value quality in everything, and in order to do something efficiently, they are ready to make an effort and spend as much time as they want. Such people are carriers of the anal vector.
They have an innate desire for everything to be equally, in fairness. This is the trigger for resentment. In the understanding of a person with an anal vector, if he made you a ruble, then you must answer him in the same way. If he doesn't take more, he doesn't need too much. And if less, then this is just a reason for resentment. The ruble is, of course, an image. Anything can be used as a ruble.
The wife is offended by her husband: “I spend so much time and energy on you, I cook all day, I clean. And you don’t notice it! At least one compliment to me! All the time you lie on the couch, watch TV, drink beer with friends. And I?" She feels injustice that she is doing everything for the relationship, and he gives her very little time and attention and does not thank her for the efforts that she puts in every day. But praise and recognition of merit are very important for a person with an anal vector. Simple words: "Honey, what a delicious borscht you have today!" - will make it clear to the spouse with an anal vector that you value her very much and need her care.
The father is offended by his son: "My mother and I work tirelessly, and you only get" bad "at school!" After all, this is unfair: the son must also respond with good studies, otherwise he dishonors his father, does not live up to the expectations placed on him.
Resentment is a difficult, destructive state of the human psyche. When resentment appears, the opportunity to live fully disappears. Life literally stops. You stop feeling the joy of everything that happens around you, you constantly think about how the other person treated you unfairly.
Tired of resentment, we storm the Internet with questions: how to stop being offended - and further down the list: on mom, husband, people, stop getting offended by trifles.
They wanted it to be fair, but it turned out insulting
By nature, a person with an anal vector is endowed with a good memory and analytical mind, that is, the ability to analyze and organize information. However, it is a good memory that sometimes plays a cruel joke with the owners of the anal vector: they can literally get stuck in the past. They are good at remembering any information, and even more so offensive, demeaning words and unfair actions. Said or made once upon a time, they again and again pop up in your head, burning through you all through. It seems impossible to forget all this, much less forgive.
In fact, resentment arises from a misunderstanding of the other person and the reason for his actions. A person with an anal vector is distinguished by directness and honesty towards others. And they expect the same from others. But the people around them, their household, work colleagues can be arranged in a completely different way, they can have different life values and other life experiences. And they live their lives according to the given qualities and properties. The wife, when she promised to do something and did not do it, in no way wanted to offend her anal husband. She does a hundred things at the same time and did not even notice that she did not keep her word. And for the husband, this is a reason for resentment. After all, they themselves are very obligatory in relation to other people. And again such a heaviness, pain, longing, a feeling of deprivation. When they didn't give it to the extent that you imagined it ...
Resentment arises as our natural reaction, such behavior seems to us the only true, or rather the only possible. In fact, we stop living our own life, and live as the resentment dictates to us. And this is not a literary turn of speech. It is insult that stops our life, forcing a person to return to the past all the time. It spoils relationships with loved ones, forcing them to go into silence and coldness. Pushes for reproaches and insults. It deprives us of the opportunity to take a step forward and forces us to abandon the relationship. We become its hostages, we cease to be free in our actions and decisions.
How to stop resenting people?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to find the right way to get out of the state of deep resentment. Awareness of oneself, the peculiarities of one's psyche, occurs already during free lectures, which reveal the qualities and properties of the anal vector.
When there is a realization of the problem, then it stops tormenting you. You will stop being offended as soon as you understand the root of this state. The moment of awareness will be the moment of your healing. This is confirmed by a large number of responses from people who have undergone training and have received their main result - getting rid of grievances.
“... Insults ... Mamadaragaya, how they poisoned life! Now, after an instant reaction of resentment, everything somehow dissolves and this painful state, resentment-for-the rest-of-life-DOESN'T COME. All my life I was tormented by resentment against my mother and a subjective attitude towards her. Now she - oh joy! - is perceived as simply stupid in places by her aunt, in essence the same as me. A dear one, much more understandable, in need of care, attention ... "
Elena R., artist, St. Petersburg
“... Gradually, I began to unwind this tangle of terrible grievances, which choked me, and did not give me the opportunity to enjoy life. I realized what made me be like that, I understood myself, I learned to understand others. It is difficult to convey in words, but now I have a state of "no offense" in general. After the feeling of deprivation has gone, the inability to take offense at people in principle has come. Living without offense is a huge achievement and a relief for me. It’s like hundreds of kilos have fallen from my poor neck. This is an incredible feeling ... "
Anna M., Tver
Man is a social being and whether he will be happy in this life directly depends on the ability to interact with others. Other people are our loved ones, relatives and loved ones. These are our colleagues and just those with whom we come across on the way to work, in a store or in a clinic. We get the greatest happiness from other people and the most unpleasant experiences also from other people. The training "System-vector psychology" helps to understand yourself and other people and start living happily, freeing yourself from many years of grievances!
My boyfriend is offended by trifles. For every little thing. He does not arrange any quarrels or disputes - he just defiantly turns away and is silent.
I'm just tired of calming him down. More than half the time, in my opinion, I’m right. How to deal with such extreme sensitivity?
Amaranta
A similar situation! I'm already starting to get tired of such a relationship! Recently I almost completely melted! Then there was a stormy fitting, brought flowers, went to a restaurant! Already about a week
to be honest, this guy behaves like a woman! Sorry for being so rude, but this behavior is more typical of young girls, girls, I would even say ...
"Wedge wedge" try
Amaranta
Hmm, lucky for us ...
StiFFleR
I tried it, but it doesn't always work out ...
Red ponytail
Hmm ... I usually do this ... turn away and keep quiet and it is impossible to get anything out of me ...
how to deal with it? good question....
I just think I need to let the person cool down ...
why I don’t argue and do not swear .... sometimes I know that I am offended by a trifle .. nonsense ... it just takes time to digest it,
and understand that this is nonsense
usually 10-15 minutes are enough for me ... and then I myself come up, I apologize, I can cry and say that I will not do this anymore))))
maybe it's sensitivity ... just taking everything to heart.
my husband may accidentally say something wrong to me ... he didn’t notice, but I am offended all of a sudden and tears welling up ... I prefer to go out and not show my "nuns")))
I do not think that this is characteristic only of young girls ... rather infantile persons))) like me for example.
in general, nothing can be done about it. just don't touch it and that's it
Tekhhi
Amaranta
hmm, girls ... I practically broke up with one because of this .... well, at least this reason was not the last one.
really .. say something wrong, and he is already sulking. I didn't even always understand what he was offended at ...
no, I understand once, twice .. then I will ask for forgiveness and touch ... but not every 5 minutes !!!
sometimes it seems that he is just pretending to be offended ...
I don’t know how to fight. I just could not resist ...
Probably those who think that they lack warmth and affection do this ... maybe this is the reason?
Good idea! I also came to this conclusion. Indeed, you can’t say something, and the house is already full of grievances and accusations: you don’t love, and, as a result, you don’t take care of yourself, you are inattentive and thick-skinned.
But it seems from his side that he behaves normally and is offended for the cause. And from the side of the "offender" it looks utterly absurd, because there was no intention to offend. Yes, and "warmth and affection" seems to be present in relationships ...
Apparently the answer lies in the past of this person. Perhaps once there he did not have enough tenderness and attention, he was left deprived of this ... And now he has only one desire - to make up. The only pity is that due to the nerves and good mood of his partner. I'm afraid that until a person grows up and understands what's what, nothing will change ...
Amaranta
On this occasion, my mother said that they all take offense, but not all of them show it.
And here everything is clear ... Only this is the girls' favorite gadget ..... He is not offended, he just wants you to sit and persuade him, make fun of him ... and all that ....... Maybe he just stands with him talk openly on this topic, maybe he lacks attention or something else ... if he uses such a method ...
Amaranta
!Prada
| QUOTE |
| Maybe it's just worth talking openly with him on this topic. |
I tried it; he says that nothing of the kind happens and he gets offended again! This time already that I am unfairly blaming him
Tekhhi And how are things with you?
Probably something else needs to be done now so that he understands how much you love him! Maybe then he will stop fanning trifles to the size of an elephant
Tekhhi
Amaranta
Lol) Little girls, excuse me, but such a picture always weighs on me) In general, this happens often ... There is a universal medicine. Tell him on the forehead: "What are you? Chtoli girl, to be offended?". A powerful blow to male pride usually leads to changes for the better.
marielena
Be more attentive to him. Extreme sensitivity comes from the fact that a person has some kind of problem inside. Have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Maybe it's temporary for him.
alsh
Good idea, I'll try.
Amaranta
You know when how. he just doesn't want to admit that he was wrong. And he continues to take offense purely out of principle.
but it happens that after 10 minutes he himself realizes that he was a fool, approaches, kisses (but still does not admit that he was wrong). I do not particularly demand an apology, the main thing is that he understands it himself.
You need to have great patience to communicate with this chel. I couldn't by nature.
I sympathize...
Tekhhi
there is usually some hidden reason behind this behavior.
it is quite possible that you are superior to him in some way.
for example, you earn more or you have more friends or take a more active position in society ...
he cannot directly express his resentment to you, therefore he takes it out on trifles.
you do not need to stream and calm him every time, especially when you feel that you are right.
just try to help him cope with his complexes
piranha fish
Moreover, often the reason for the insults can be some insignificant phrase in which he found a hidden meaning or which seemed to him a mockery, despite the fact that no one had in mind. Because of this, it is sometimes incredibly difficult to communicate with him, because it is not clear what is the matter and who he is straining at once again. We once went to a disco with a company and suddenly we see him "goats" again (we have already begun to call it that). Because of what, because of whom it is not clear. Everyone immediately begins to feel like complete idiots, because everyone understands that it could be because of him. And he is silent. But with my explosive nature, I said that I work in kindergarten 5 times a week at 8.00-16.00 and in my free time I have absolutely no intention of returning to work, so I want to bow and thank you for the ruined evening. This brought him to his senses. Do you know why he pouted again? His wife told him that he twists his booty charmingly.
So, Tekhhi, I do not want to upset you, but I advise you to think hard how much love and patience you have, if this is a character trait.
The only thing I can advise you in this situation is to put him in front of you and say that you do not like this behavior, because you want to see a man and a partner next to you, and not a little boy. That you are absolutely not against the fact that he is offended, but if he does not frankly explain the reasons and try to extinguish the conflict, it will be very difficult for you to continue the relationship in this spirit. If after this conversation nothing changes, then you have to decide for yourself whether you can be happy with such a person.
piranha fish
Long, twisted, but damn it, how right!
Next time, when it will be offended ... I already wrote in principle.
Thank you all for the advice.
and I .... dry tears are welling up somewhere under the throat ... a little higher than the heart ... they get up in a lump and ......
I also think so, and in general this is the only way out of the situation. It was so with me, I endured it, I endured it, but everything when it comes to a limit and now everything has calmed down more or less. I really don't know for how long
I meant something else, is it really that the one who is outraged by such infantile behavior is himself so independent and reasonable, is his partner completely and completely relieved of empty grievances, puffed cheeks and suspicious demonstrative silence in response to some trifle? Is he so "grown up" that there is no "speck" in his eye that he sees in the eye of another?
it turned out you have two options:
1. "Take offense in response" ... with all sorts of evocative phrases, etc. - easy way. Suitable for those who "suffer" with a touchy partner. Pursue your own interests.
2. Go to misfortunes, arrange heart-to-heart and baby talks, etc. Show a benefactor.
Only to a person who sincerely needs attention, support, sensitivity and other things when he “loves”, and accordingly gives himself up for it, then your decisions are not suitable, because they do not solve the main thing, but only struggle with the consequences.
Whatever he is - infantile, child, touchy, etc. all the reasons for the insults respond very bitterly to him and make him even weaker, until his inner self becomes delineated and does not feel these insults, only there is a small side effect - the warmth of another person, love, joy - it also cannot feel.
I, too, sometimes take offense at terrible stupidity, take criticism of something personally, and so on, but this only happens when I’m under stress and I don’t care about anything. True, I perceive support in such situations more sharply.
In general, I can say personally about myself - if I am offended, I just need to give time, leave alone. The questions of what happened are annoying, it is sometimes dumb to tell what the matter is, because it is embarrassing to admit that I pouted because of such garbage, and attempts to hug and kiss cause discomfort, as there is a feeling of guilt. So the best thing is to leave me alone for ten minutes, then I fondle myself.
How to stop being offended? This question interests many people who care about their relationships with loved ones. It happens that there are real reasons for starting to take offense at someone, but at the same time, you can often meet people who take offense even at the most harmless things.
To understand how to stop being angry and offended, you need to understand the reasons for the resentment itself. Often, resentment provokes. A person can become so focused on self-pity that they soon allow resentment to take over. Such a person, in fact, is an egoist and with such behavior he only complicates his life. To stop being offended, it is necessary.
Each person has their own definition of justice. Therefore, the understanding of some life situations is completely different for different people. The problem is that no one is trying to figure out what causes misunderstandings. Therefore, it is necessary to immediately find out incomprehensible moments and stop being offended.
A person becomes resentful when they adopt similar behavior from their parents. Therefore, if a person is trying to figure out how to stop getting angry and offended, he can observe the behavior of his parents and determine whether he behaves in the same way as they do in similar situations.
A person of a manipulative nature deliberately takes offense at others in order to attract attention to himself. In this case, it does not even matter what the mood of the person who is offended, since the habit of being offended is at his subconscious level.
If a person is often offended, he may have various life difficulties. He may lose his family, friends.
People often respond with an offense to an offense, and then even forget which one of them was offended first. It must be remembered that resentment is only, not a persistent feeling. Therefore, in any situations of misunderstanding, one must wait until the wave of emotions passes and find out what is the matter, stop being offended.
A touchy person gives others a lot of trouble. A particularly hidden resentment inside develops into a negative feeling and at the most inopportune moment a surge of negative emotions can occur. As a result, they arise, from which it is very difficult to get out.
How to stop resenting people over trifles? First of all, you need to remember for yourself that it is important not to be offended, but to draw conclusions. Therefore, every time you want to take offense at someone, you need to remember this rule.
An offended person develops a life dissatisfaction in himself. The offended person has no time to observe the beauty of the surrounding reality and accept love. He is not able to feel the joys of life, since the person who offended him stands before his eyes. All this leads to exhaustion and nervous strain. To re-perceive the joys of life, you just need to stop being offended.
How to stop resenting people
How to stop being offended by little things? How to stop resenting your loved one? How to stop resenting people over trifles? If a person is often offended by the actions and words of others, this is a reason to analyze his behavior. Since it often happens that in fact no one wanted to offend anyone, and the cost of the situation itself is negligible. This must be fought, since grievances poison life.
There are ways in which a person can learn how to stop being offended by little things. For example, in the event of an unpleasant situation, one can imagine that many years have passed since it. Now we have to try and look at the situation as if from the future. It is unlikely that a person can imagine that in ten years he will also experience and cry. He will hardly remember this insignificant situation at all. Then, is there any sense now to be offended and spoil relations with others, if this does not show up in the future.
If a situation of misunderstanding arises, you must immediately clarify the whole situation. One should not be afraid to ask the interlocutor what he means in order to stop being offended.
To prevent a quarrel, you must try to discard your emotions at the time of their build-up. You need to mentally describe your problems, thinking only the facts themselves. If you do this with the help of a cold mind, without emotional coloring, you can see that, in fact, there is nothing to be offended.
Any criticism must be responded to constructively. There is absolutely no point in being offended if someone is trying to criticize. On the contrary, it is a good way to think about yourself, about whether you need to change something, and stop being offended. If a person believes that he is already flawless, then, especially since there is no reason for offense.
It is a good practice to move yourself to the position of the abuser. Imagining yourself in his place, you need to look at the situation that happened through his eyes. You need to be objective enough to understand the position of the other person and really assess your views. Perhaps the opponent simply did not calm down his emotions, raised his voice, but in fact did not want anything bad. You need to forgive him and stop being offended.
A change of scenery helps a lot. People are very often nervous and offended when their nervous system is exhausted. To rejuvenate and clear the mind, it is advisable to go on vacation, chat with new people, explore new places. Returning home, a person will cease to be offended, and will not even think about the offenses that have poisoned his life.
If you cannot cope on your own with how to stop getting angry and offended, then you should contact a specialist. A competent psychologist is an excellent assistant in problem solving. He will teach you how to stop resenting people over trifles and will help you understand the true reasons for such a person's behavior.
From time to time, various minor incidents happen to people. Some people can learn from what happened and forget the unpleasant situation. Others are able to replay what happened in their heads many times and reproach themselves. To stop getting upset through every little thing, you need to work on yourself, and first of all, stop being offended by yourself, since this is also very important for mental health.
You should engage in increasing your own self-esteem. To do this, you must often do what you love, especially what you do well. Positive results set you in a positive mood, and over time, a person will begin to take on difficult things. A self-confident person who knows his own worth will not react to trifles, he will not be offended by others.
It is necessary to look at everything around us through the prism of goodness, to look for positive moments in each situation. Since life is diverse, it throws up both unpleasant and good situations. This means that if a trouble happened to a person, something good awaits him in the near future. Just by focusing on the negative, you can miss the moment of luck, so you need to forgive people and stop resenting them.
While maintaining a sense of humor, a person becomes less susceptible to troubles, tolerates them more easily and is less offended by others. A person who is always in an optimistic mood will rarely spoil it for himself by taking others too seriously. A person's self-respect will protect him from the influence of negative factors, in connection with which he may have feelings and resentments.
To stop resenting others, you need to raise your spiritual level. It is unnecessary for the emotional reaction (resentment) to dominate the feelings. It is necessary to develop respect for people. Be able to accept their point of view, beliefs. Weigh your decisions relative to others. The main thing is to turn on the mind, discard emotions and stop being offended.
You should be an objective person, try to look at what is happening from the side of your opponent, and not only from your own. There is no need to take offense at others, relying only on your observations and feelings.
Rumors often accompany resentful people. You cannot trust the negative messages that reach the person. Each piece of information should be analyzed to see if there is a catch or conspiracy in it. You can't be a naive person. You need to let go of expectations. People do not always justify other people's hopes - you have to accept it as an essence. It is in response to unjustified expectations that resentment is born. Therefore, you cannot be hostage to your own expectations and stop resenting others, since they are not guilty.
Very often people say that they are offended in response to someone else's offense. You need to remember this and use it if someone is offended and not repeat his actions. It is necessary to behave in such a way that others do not have a reason to be offended, and oneself to stop being offended by them.
Some people are offended even for no reason, because of their disposition. But being resentful is not a trait to be proud of. This is more of a bad habit that you need to get rid of. You need to work on yourself in order to stop being offended and to accept the situation as it is.
How to stop resenting your husband
Many observations prove that women are more often offended by men than vice versa. This is due to the differences between feminine and masculine. Often women even behave in such a way as to demonstrate resentment with their whole appearance. Although in many cases they do not even say what exactly affected them.
Men are in a difficult position when they try to understand what exactly the woman is offended. Therefore, some ignore the resentment, others try to ask about feelings. Consequently, some men begin to assure that they will make every effort to rectify the situation, while others prove exclusively their innocence. In most cases, these situations end in scandal.
There are situations in which men really act ugly. These cases need to be spoken out, and not be offended quietly from the side, since the man will do this several more times, because he does not know that the woman is offended by this.
If a woman is trying to find out how to stop being offended by her beloved man, then she is already on the way to the formation of adequate behavior. Initially, she must realize that men and women see the world differently, which means that the perception of the same events also differs.
Women's suspiciousness and strict exactingness to trifles very much spoils the relationship. After embedding another scandal about her husband's fault, the woman takes offense at the man with all her might, although she often regrets it inside, but she cannot help herself. You should get rid of the bad habit and stop being offended. To do this, you need to understand what is the reason for the increased, which leads to scandals from scratch and insults.
Often the cause of a woman’s resentment is exaggeration and “cheating”. Women attach great importance to mere trifles. Often a woman comes up with something that did not exist and could not even be, and so entrusts these fantasies that she begins to sincerely believe that it is so and she herself begins to be offended. For example, if a man did not buy flowers on March 8, it means that he either bought them for someone else or does not love them anymore. That is, such a woman cannot even admit that her husband did not have money with him, he did not have time to close the store, he earned so much that he does not even remember the dates, because he is trying to earn money for his family.
Such thoughts at first glance seem ridiculous to those who have not met such. But often this is exactly what happens - a woman decides for a man that he did what he really did not think about, and under the influence of these thoughts she gets offended.
If every woman knew how to simply state the facts, without further conclusions, it would be easier for everyone in this world. As a last resort, the woman could immediately ask the man why he did this. He would answer how the conflict was settled, and no one would be offended by anyone.
Women are often offended when it is beneficial for them to take the position of the victim. Manipulating woman reflects on what she can get, being in a state of resentment. A naive man does not delve into why the woman was offended, but still feels guilty, he begins to make excuses, apologize and becomes ready to fulfill any wishes. It is also very convenient to make a victim of yourself in front of friends who will support and accuse a man.
A good method of dealing with growing feelings of resentment is distraction. If there is no way to do something, then you can try to do breathing exercises. To do this, you need to take a deep breath several times and at the same moment think: "Why am I taking offense now?" "Is there really a reason for this." If a woman begins to understand that her resentment is just manipulation, she will look for more acceptable ways to solve the problem and will stop being offended.
A woman in offense can say to a man: "I knew from the very beginning what an egoist you are!" It turns out that she subconsciously regrets that she lives with this person. Then, perhaps it is better to part with this man, because the woman will be offended again, and these words will be repeated. You need to think about your feelings, analyze how strong and sincere they are. If the feelings have not really faded away, then something needs to be changed in your attitude and behavior.
The man on his part also does not like that his woman is constantly offended. You should accept everyone's flaws and adjust to each other if the relationship is of value to both. You need to remind yourself every time: "Despite the fact that he did not do this, I will continue to love him and stop being offended."
It is important to be able to listen to your partner and if you do not accept his point of view, then at least respect her. If he thinks differently, this does not mean at all that his thoughts are wrong.
It happens that a woman has started a new relationship, but she is oppressed by a hidden resentment against her ex-man. Women who want to build a fulfilling relationship are often interested in how to stop resenting their ex-husband.
First you need to recognize that this person is free and independent, and even in marriage, everyone has the right to determine their own behavior, and the task of both partners is to adapt to each other, but if people do not know how to do this, they become unhappy.
It is necessary to aim at the future, not drag the past with you. This is what prevents women from living on, they get hung up on what happened, and every time they remember the offense, scroll in their heads, and seem to feed on this feeling.
It is important to understand that resentment is an unhealthy feeling and it leads to health problems. Many researchers have already proven that women's health directly depends on relationships with men, in particular, the presence of resentment negatively affects the condition. If you cannot cope with the resentment on your own, then you need to contact a psychologist, he will analyze the situation and help the woman in how to stop resenting her ex-husband.
How to stop resenting your parents
Life is very unpredictable, you never know what might happen in the next moment. Therefore, it is worth appreciating it, and not spending it on grievances, especially if they fall on the closest people. Many people are tormented by the question of how to stop being angry and offended by their parents.
First of all, children should understand that they owe their lives to their parents and try to sincerely apologize to them and forgive them deep down if necessary.
Often the root of all grudges against parents is at the subconscious level or in the desire to idealize them. In childhood, everyone believed that their parents were the best, most beautiful and intelligent.
A grown-up person sees that in fact, parents are simple people, they also make mistakes. The ideal is destroyed. A person who seemed beautiful all his life is actually imperfect, he has vices. But all people have flaws, and parents are no exception, you need to treat this adequately and stop taking offense at them. Despite the shortcomings of parents, accept them for what they are and rejoice that they are.
If parents do not abuse alcohol and drugs, and give their child everything they have, then they need to be thanked for this. For giving life, childhood, education. Although many have an abortion, not giving the child's soul an opportunity to be embodied in life. It is important to learn to stop being offended, and replace the offense and anger with gratitude, and a warm attitude.
There is a great exercise to stop resenting your parents. You need to write 20 reasons why you are grateful to your parent. You can even thank for the severity, because it fosters discipline. To re-read this list, to realize it, and to understand that without parents, much in life would not be so, it is for this life that you need to thank the parents and stop being offended by them.
If the parents are outright despots, then you need to figure out what the reason for their relationship is: that they are really evil or the child himself brings them to this. Perhaps the parents have personal problems, perhaps they were brought up in the same way. If this becomes a problem, then such a family needs a family psychologist to figure out what is the reason for this attitude towards children. An educator or teacher at school can direct them to counseling with a psychologist. If the child is given to understand that in reality it is not him, but the personal problems of the parents, he will be able to forgive the parents and stop resenting them.
Every person on Earth is a student who learns to live, survive, develop, love, forgive, recognize mistakes and correct them. Despite the fact that parents are older than their children, they are also imperfect, with their own bad habits, delusions and weaknesses. They also have the right to be offended and angry, like their children, only from such mutual enmity no one will be good.
They have their own destiny and their own responsibilities, and children do the same. But more gratitude is required from children. It is very important what a person lets into his heart, and what carries in it (kindness and gratitude, or anger and resentment).
It happens that quarrels with parents occur on the basis of generational disagreements. Some spiritual things that are obvious to parents may not be clear to their children. But it also happens that children at the age of 10 are more mature for their "materialized" parents. If they really are lower by several levels of spiritual development, then there is no need to be offended by them. On the contrary, you should try to teach parents about goodness and love, to become their guide on the path to spiritual improvement.
Therefore, it is necessary to give your parents the right to make mistakes. For all its outward adherence to principles, one must internally maintain good nature in relation to them and not condemn them. 
We all know how to be offended. The feeling of resentment is formed in a child when a sense of justice begins to form. Approximately 2 to 5 years old. Adult uncles and aunts can be offended too. But it looks exactly the same as the resentment of a small child.
The person feels like a victim. Naturally undeservedly offended. And compensation should be followed accordingly. The offended person, regardless of gender and age, believes that the offender must come and beg for forgiveness. Well, let's wait. During this period, you can pout your lips, cry. Better louder. Everything? Let go? Then you can become an adult and think about whether there is any benefit from resentment?
If you figure it out: what is resentment? These are our excessive expectations. We expect that the surrounding reality will fully coincide with our requirements. Well, the surrounding people, as part of this reality. And when these "others" do not strive to fulfill our expectations, then we can take offense. More often than others, people with low self-esteem are offended. They themselves can not do anything (at least they think so), everyone is obliged to them, well, at least to sympathize ... 
And the idea that you can fulfill your own expectations yourself does not come to mind. What for? Why do something yourself, work on yourself, change ... After all, you can be a victim, a martyr ... Only the notorious evil "surrounding" do not seek to erect on a pedestal and with terrible force to please.
From childhood, a child learns such a method of manipulation as an offense. When the baby does not have enough attention, love and just "I want it this way!" 
The easiest way is to pout your lips, cry. And they give you attention, love, or even candy or something better. The child remembers this scheme well. And as an adult, he tries to reproduce it again. After all, it's scary to show your own feelings. And we want to get attention, love, and if not, then consolation and pity will do too. 
Resentments accumulate, layered, pressed into a heavy, heavy lump. It takes a tremendous amount of energy even just to maintain the image of the victim. The process becomes unmanageable. What's next? Depression? Nervous collapse?
How do you get rid of this endless circle of grievances? How to stop being offended?
1. Well, first of all, you have to grow up. No matter how old you are 20, 30 lil 50 you can remain a small child. You need to learn to love yourself, Show attention and feelings to other people. 
Scary at first. Then you get used to it, and then you start to like it.
2. Try to admit to yourself: I feel hurt, hurt. Not in order to look like a martyr in your eyes, but to understand what exactly hurt you, what you really want. Maybe these are some of your personal traits that need to be worked on. 
3. One way to get rid of resentment is to speak out. You can imagine the offender. Of course, it's better if such a conversation actually takes place. Psychologists advise you to write a letter to your abuser. Describe in detail how you feel. Very detailed. Up to the point that the ear itches. Often in the process of writing such a letter, laughter begins to make out. And laughter is known to be the best medicine. Well, if you didn't manage to laugh, then after writing such a letter it is better to tear or burn it.
4.It is impossible to please everyone. Therefore, it makes no sense to be offended.
5. Once again, our excessive expectations lead to disappointment and resentment. Don't expect miracles from reality. Wonder yourself. 
