Interpersonal conflict: an example. Types of conflicts

Probably many of us have witnessed or participated in an unpleasant situation on the playground. For some parents, this situation is a reason to stir up a real conflict in order to find out who is “cooler,” and for others, it is an opportunity to show their child an example of behavior in society.

Young children do not yet have any experience of communication. They live by their feelings, emotions and desires and are not yet able to consciously control their behavior.

Therefore, when finding themselves in a conflict situation, babies do not think, but act by inertia, in accordance with their temperament: someone gives in and silently moves away, someone cries and runs to their mother, and someone fights, pushes or bites.

The task of parents is to help their child learn to resolve difficult situations so that he can defend his rightness and at the same time not infringe on the interests of other children. Those. teach him to communicate: how to play together, how to resolve a dispute, how to negotiate with each other, how to play in turns, how to change, how to ask or offer something, how to refuse cooperation, how to provide help.

Let's look at examples of possible conflict situations.

Of course, it is better not to bring matters to a conflict, but to try to distract the child in time, switch attention, and occupy him with something else. But if a controversial situation arises, it is very important to provide your baby with maximum support and no matter how wrong his action was.

This does not mean that you should tell your child something like: “That’s right, you don’t need to give your train to anyone!” or “This boy is evil, he hit you, but you only wanted to take his ball!” It is better to listen to the child, accept his feelings, voice them, explain what the other child is feeling, and show him.

In any situation, the child should know that he is always good, no matter what, although his actions sometimes leave much to be desired. Remember what Naf-Naf said: “A pig’s house should be a fortress.” For your child, you, his parents, are the fortress.

Situation 1. They reprimand you

Your baby splashes carefree through puddles or tumbles in the snow. And you are bombarded with critical remarks about your parental “professional suitability” from all sides.

Most likely, you feel an internal protest: “What right do these strangers have to criticize me! Moreover, in the presence of my child!” Sometimes it can be so hard to hold back. But there is no use in arguing. The argument will lead nowhere, and everyone will remain with their own opinion. It’s the same as arguing about where to go into the sea - everyone chooses where it’s more convenient for them (the beach is big). So an argument is a waste of time and nerves.

You can do the same as the rabbit Kocheryzhka (in the fairy tale by M. Plyatskovsky), who responded very politely to the menacing remarks and threats of the Bear, the Tiger and the Lion: “Hello! Glad to see you." And the whole point is that the rabbit’s ears were plugged with cotton wool, and he didn’t hear anything! Why don't we follow the example of this rabbit?

Situation 2. They reprimand your child

You and your baby had a great time! The result is obvious: the baby is covered in dirt from head to toe. On your way home, your ubiquitous neighbor meets you and starts wailing: “Oh-oh! How dirty you are! Is it possible to get so dirty?! Now mom will have to wash all your clothes!”

A child can take a remark from a stranger very painfully. And if the mother does not stand up for him in time, just as she did not stand up last time and will not stand up the next time, this can make the child insecure and lead to the fact that he begins to be shy and afraid of strangers. Moreover, from now on, when other children talk badly about your baby, he will take it for granted.

Your actions (or) Hint:

Take your neighbor's reprimand into a more peaceful direction. In a friendly tone, tell her about the positive side of your walk: “Yes, we had a great walk! Now we go home, happy, satisfied and, of course, pretty dirty. But is it possible to have a good walk without this?! It's good to be small!

Situation 3. The child tries to return his toy

Your baby is peacefully digging in the sandbox. Another kid comes up to him and takes his toy. Your baby is angry and tries to force

First, let's think about why children react so violently when they take their toys? Answer
is simple: firstly, they are sorry to part with their toy, and secondly, they do not yet understand that toys are taken for a while, and always return to their owners. And only after 3 years old will the child begin to understand what property is.

Urgently separate the “tightly clinging” kids.

Show your child that you are on his side: “Do you want to keep the car?”

Talk about the other child's feelings and desires: “The boy liked your toy and would like to play with it a little. Come on, let's give it to him for a while. You know how happy he will be!” We turn to the boy: “Do you want to exchange toys?”

If your child does not agree to part with his toy under any circumstances, well, that is his right. Politely refuse the applicant: “Sorry,<…>(boy's name),<…>(name of his child) wants to play with his car for now.”

But if the conflict continues to escalate, you can try to switch the children’s attention to some kind of general game: loading sand into a car with a tractor or playing tag. And if the game is not improving at all, move them to different “corners”.

Result:

Thus, we are not “fixated” on the negative behavior of our child (to some extent, it is even justified - he defended his property in ways available to him), but we show how to act in such situations. Those. you don't need to fight, but negotiate with words.

Situation 4. The child is crying and does not know how to return his toy.

Your child is peacefully digging in the sandbox. Another baby comes up to him and takes your child’s toy. Your baby runs towards you crying...

Don't worry about your baby giving in to the “enemy.” He will certainly learn to defend his property if you teach him how to do it. Just not all at once; most likely he will resort to your help more than once.

Your actions (or) Hint:

Sit down next to the baby, look into his eyes and voice his feelings and desires: “They took your toy? Did you want to play it yourself? Then let’s ask for her back together.” Or: “Are you worried that the boy won’t return your toy? He will play with it a little and give it to you - it’s your toy. Let’s build a fortress out of sand!”

If your child continues to insist on returning his property, then take your baby by the hand, go to the “offender” and say: “Baby, this is our toy. AND<…>(child's name) wants to play it himself. Give it back, please."

If the baby is stubborn, you can again offer to exchange toys, but if no one wants this, just gently take the toy from the hands of the other child.

Situation 5. Your child took someone else's toy

There are a lot of kids walking on the playground. There are toys everywhere: here is a wheelchair with a handle, here is a car on a string, here is a baby stroller, here is a ball... Your child comes up, takes the ball and invites you to play with it.

All children are very inquisitive, they actively explore the world, and there is nothing reprehensible in the fact that they are interested not only in their own, but also in other people’s toys.

Your actions (or) Hint:

If these are toys of your friends' children, you need to approach the child's owner, or even better, his mother - she will definitely resolve it, and there is a chance that a conflict will not arise - and ask her. At the end of the game, it is important to draw your child’s attention to the fact that the toy needs to be returned to its place.

If you don’t know whose toy this is, you can ask those present loudly about it. If there is little chance of finding the owner of the toy, you need to briefly explain the situation to the child: “We don’t know whose toy it is, and you can’t take it without permission.” You can dream together about how you would like him to have the same toy or a similar one, and then try to distract the baby with something else.

It happens that your child, no matter what, wants to play with this particular toy and is already reverently pressing it to his chest, although the owner remains unknown. Then (to avoid loud crying) you can offer the child the following alternative: “We take the toy and go in search of its owner.” Walk around with the toy, look, maybe you will find the owner, and if not, it doesn’t matter, your baby will play with it, at least a little, and then return it to its place (both the sheep are safe and the wolves are fed).

Situation 6. Your child takes away the toy

Your baby comes up to another baby and takes a toy from him, he cries and
trying to get his property back. Or your baby was given something to play, and now

In such situations, it is important to teach the baby to respect other people’s property, so that the concept “mine is yours” is gradually laid down and formed.

Your actions (or) Hint:

Tell your child, “I understand that you want to play with this toy. This toy<… >(child’s name), and for now he wants to play with her. (It is advisable to construct this phrase without the conjunction BUT, since the child may think that his feelings are unimportant, because there is this “but...”). You can ask her later when<…>(child’s name) will want to play with another toy, but for now let’s…” It is possible that after some time another child will actually agree to part with his “treasure” for a while.

Another option: We ask your child if he wants to exchange toys with the boy, and if he agrees, we invite the owner of the toy to make a temporary exchange of toys with your child (it is better to offer several toys to choose from).

Situation 7. Your baby is on the yard swing

Your baby is swinging on a swing. Then another child comes up with the clear intention of swinging too.

In principle, since your child was the first to occupy the swing, it is still “his”, but within reasonable limits, of course.

Your actions (or) Hint :

With the advent of a child who wants to swing on the same swing, you need to start preparing the child for the idea that the swing will soon have to give way: “The baby also wants to swing, let’s swing 20 more times and let’s go... (offer a worthy alternative: let’s ride down the slide , let's spin on the carousel, swing this same little one on the swing).”

If your baby is stubborn and does not want to give up the swing, then suggest that he let the child standing in line play with one of his toys. Or figure out a way to distract him.

Situation 8. Your baby wants to swing on the swing, but they are busy

You and your baby come to the playground. His attention is drawn to the swing, which of course turns out to be busy...

Now the situation is the opposite - the swing is occupied. You and your baby have been “standing in line” for quite a long time, waiting for them to be free, but the child swinging on them does not even think about parting with them.

Your actions (or) Hint:

To begin with, you can simply ask the swinging baby to give you the swing;

Offer the swinging baby an interesting exchange: he gives you a swing, you give him your bicycle;

Switch your child’s attention to an alternative, but no less interesting activity.

Situation 9. Your baby can’t fight back

Your baby is standing next to you, then another child comes up to him and for no reason hits him (pushes, bites, etc.). Your baby is lost and doesn't know what to do.

You must have a firm attitude: no one dares to hit your child, and your child should not doubt that this is really the case. Therefore, all your further actions should be aimed at making it clear to your son or daughter what to do if his/her rights are violated.

But perhaps first he must strengthen himself and grow morally to the point of acting as you advise him. Therefore, you cannot force your child to follow your advice, otherwise the child will worry not only because he was offended, but also because he cannot follow your recommendations.

Your actions (or) Hint:

If possible, prevent a conflict - intercept the hand of a swinging child, but if you haven’t already, then:

Squat down in front of your child, hug him, feel sorry for him, say: “You’re in pain...”;

Children are afraid of everything they don’t understand; therefore, explain to your child the boy’s behavior: “The boy probably wanted to play with you, but didn’t know how to tell you this”;

Sternly tell the offender: “You can’t beat my son! If you want to play with him, just say: “let’s play.”

Result:

In this situation, you must teach your child to stand up for himself. At first, you will have to act as a protector of your baby in order to show him a model of future independent behavior. Always act according to the same principle, but do not expect that after the very first “lessons” your child will give a worthy rebuff to the offender.

Situation 10. Your baby hits back

Your baby was pushed (hit, hurt, covered with sand). Without thinking twice, he gives change.

Children are emotional and, even if they already know that it is impossible to fight and voice it themselves, in critical situations they act as their initial impulse tells them: hit, push, take away, do not give in.

It is preferable not to bring matters to a fight and resolve quarrels through peaceful negotiations. But there are situations when there is really only one thing left to do - to fight back, because no exhortations work. And yet, if possible, offer your baby more peaceful alternatives.

Your actions (or) Hint:

Briefly say to both: “You can’t fight!”

Say what action you think is correct: “We need to get along, offer to change and play together.”

At home, play out the situation with toys, trying to convey the idea that you can only hit back after a warning and do not hit too hard.

Situation11. Your child is hurting another child

Situation 12. Children sorting things out on their own

You were talking on your cell phone and lost sight of your baby for a while. When he reappeared in your field of vision, it turned out that he was no longer alone, there were two of them (your baby and another baby) and they were arguing (or pushing).

Rivalry often arises between children. Therefore, from time to time they begin to find out who is stronger, and they do it in different ways. In such a “showdown,” you shouldn’t find out who started it first and take sides.

Your actions (or) Hint:

If the fight is on equal terms, and there is no serious threat to the health of the children (that is, if they are not fighting, they do not have stones or sticks in their hands), wait and do not interfere.

If the conflict drags on, gains momentum, or a clearly suffering party is identified, you should immediately intervene and separate the disputants.

First of all, turn your attention to yourself: “... (name of the child) and... (name of the other child), look at me.”

Next, switch the children’s attention from the subject of their dispute to each other: “Look at each other.” You can switch your attention to some detail, as Mary Poppins did: “Your button is undone. And your hands are dirty." It is possible that already at this stage the conflict will be settled and the children will begin to smile.

Say how you feel: “I like it when you play together.”

Talk about future plans: “What do you want to play? What are you wearing?

Offer a common game.

Summarizing all of the above, here are some general recommendations:

Treat another child the same way you would like to be treated.

Try to use prohibiting words in exceptional cases. Instead of “you can’t break another child’s Easter cakes,” it’s better to say: “let’s make the same Easter cakes.” Firstly, because children perceive positive attitudes better. And secondly, “no” should be perceived by the child as a real “no”. Categorically and without discussion! Therefore, there should be few such prohibitions in a child’s life and they should be heard relatively rarely.

Be sure to praise and reward your baby's positive behavior.

If the mother of the other participant in the conflict situation does not intervene, you will have to resolve the situation yourself, if necessary, make a tactful remark to her child or call his mother to action.

Children do not like it when other children are set as an example for them or when they are discriminated against by age in favor of younger ones, so never compare your child with other children, either in his favor or in someone else’s.

During a conflict, the child is in an excited state and does not perceive information. But at home, in a calm environment, the baby will take your “moral teachings” with greater attention. You just need to do this in a confidential and relaxed manner: heart-to-heart conversations with the child, conversations based on plot pictures, stories about your childhood, role-playing games, dramatizations, reading works of art etc.

What is conflict? Definitions of this concept can be divided into two groups. In the public consciousness, conflict is most often synonymous with hostile, negative confrontation between people due to incompatibility of interests, norms of behavior, and goals.

But there is another understanding of conflict as an absolutely natural phenomenon in the life of society, which does not necessarily lead to negative consequences. On the contrary, when choosing the right channel for its flow, it is an important component of the development of society.

Depending on the results of resolving conflict situations, they can be designated as destructive or constructive. The result destructive collision is dissatisfaction of one or both parties with the outcome of the collision, destruction of relationships, resentment, misunderstanding.

Constructive is a conflict, the solution of which became useful for the parties taking part in it, if they built, acquired something valuable for themselves in it, and were satisfied with its result.

Diversity school conflicts. Causes and solutions

Conflict in school is a multifaceted phenomenon. When communicating with participants in school life, the teacher also has to be a psychologist. The following “debriefing” of clashes with each group of participants can become a “cheat sheet” for a teacher on exams in the subject “School Conflict”.

Conflict "Student - student"

Disagreements between children are a common occurrence, including in school life. In this case, the teacher is not a party to the conflict, but sometimes it is necessary to take part in a dispute between students.

Causes of conflicts between students

rivalry

deception, gossip

insults

hostility towards the teacher's favorite students

personal dislike for a person

sympathy without reciprocity

fight for a girl (boy)

Ways to resolve conflicts between students

How can such disagreements be resolved constructively? Very often, children can resolve a conflict situation on their own, without the help of an adult. If teacher intervention is still necessary, it is important to do so in a calm manner. It is better to do without putting pressure on the child, without public apologies, and limit yourself to a hint. It is better if the student himself finds an algorithm for solving this problem. Constructive conflict will add social skills to the child’s experience, which will help him communicate with peers and teach him how to solve problems, which will be useful to him in adult life.

After resolving a conflict situation, dialogue between the teacher and the child is important. It is good to call the student by name; it is important that he feels an atmosphere of trust and goodwill. You can say something like: “Dima, conflict is not a reason to worry. There will be many more disagreements like this in your life, and that's not a bad thing. It is important to solve it correctly, without mutual reproaches and insults, to draw conclusions, to work on mistakes. Such a conflict will be useful."

A child often quarrels and shows aggression if he has no friends and hobbies. In this case, the teacher can try to correct the situation by talking with the student’s parents, recommending that the child enroll in a club or sports section, according to his interests. A new activity will not leave time for intrigue and gossip, but will give you an interesting and useful pastime and new acquaintances.

Conflict “Teacher - student’s parent”

Such conflicting actions can be provoked by both the teacher and the parent. Dissatisfaction can be mutual.

Causes of conflict between teacher and parents

different ideas of the parties about the means of education

parent's dissatisfaction with teacher's teaching methods

personal enmity

parent's opinion about the unreasonable underestimation of the child's grades

Ways to resolve conflicts with student parents

How can such discontent be constructively resolved and stumbling blocks broken? When a conflict situation arises at school, it is important to sort it out calmly, realistically, and without distortion, look at things. Usually, everything happens in a different way: the conflicting person turns a blind eye to his own mistakes, while simultaneously looking for them in the opponent’s behavior.

When the situation is soberly assessed and the problem is outlined, it is easier for the teacher to find the true cause conflict with a “difficult” parent, evaluate the correctness of the actions of both parties, and outline the path to a constructive resolution of the unpleasant moment.

The next step on the path to agreement will be an open dialogue between the teacher and the parent, where the parties are equal. The analysis of the situation will help the teacher express his thoughts and ideas about the problem to the parent, show understanding, clarify the common goal, and together find a way out of the current situation.

After resolving the conflict, drawing conclusions about what was done wrong and what should have been done to prevent a tense moment from occurring will help prevent similar situations in the future.

Example

Anton is a self-confident high school student who does not have extraordinary abilities. Relations with the guys in the class are cool, there are no school friends. At home, the boy characterizes the children in a negative way, pointing out their shortcomings, fictitious or exaggerated, shows dissatisfaction with the teachers, and notes that many teachers lower his grades. The mother unconditionally believes her son and assents to him, which further spoils the boy’s relationship with his classmates and causes negativity towards the teachers. The volcano of conflict explodes when a parent comes to school in anger with complaints against the teachers and school administration. No amount of persuasion or persuasion has a cooling effect on her. The conflict does not stop until the child graduates from school. It is obvious that this situation is destructive.

What could be a constructive approach to solving a pressing problem? Using the above recommendations, we can assume that Anton’s class teacher could analyze the current situation something like this: “The mother’s conflict with the school teachers was provoked by Anton. This indicates the boy’s internal dissatisfaction with his relationships with the guys in the class. The mother added fuel to the fire without understanding the situation, increasing her son’s hostility and mistrust of the people around him at school. Which caused a response, which was expressed by the cool attitude of the guys towards Anton.”

The common goal of parent and teacher could be desire to unite Anton’s relationship with the class.

A good result can be obtained from a dialogue between the teacher and Anton and his mother, which would show the class teacher's desire to help the boy. It is important that Anton himself wants to change. It’s good to talk with the guys in the class so that they reconsider their attitude towards the boy, entrust them with joint responsible work, organize extracurricular activities, promoting the unity of the guys.

Conflict "Teacher - student"

Such conflicts are perhaps the most frequent, because students and teachers spend hardly less time together than parents and children. Causes of conflicts between teacher and students

lack of unity in teachers' demands

excessive demands on the student

inconstancy of teacher's demands

failure to comply with requirements by the teacher himself

the student feels underestimated

the teacher cannot come to terms with the student's shortcomings

personal qualities of a teacher or student (irritability, helplessness, rudeness)

Resolving conflict between teacher and student

It is better to defuse a tense situation without leading it to conflict. To do this, you can use some psychological techniques.

The natural reaction to irritability and raising your voice is similar actions. The consequence of a conversation in a raised voice will be an aggravation of the conflict. Therefore, the correct action on the part of the teacher would be a calm, friendly, confident tone in response to the student’s violent reaction. Soon the child will also be “infected” by the calmness of the teacher.

Dissatisfaction and irritability most often come from lagging students who do not conscientiously fulfill their school duties. You can inspire a student to succeed in their studies and help them forget about their dissatisfaction by entrusting them with a responsible task and expressing confidence that they will complete it well.

A friendly and fair attitude towards students will be the key to a healthy atmosphere in the classroom and will make it easy to follow the proposed recommendations.

It is worth noting that during the dialogue between teacher and student, it is important to take certain things into account. It is worth preparing for it in advance so that you know what to tell your child. How to say - the component is no less important. A calm tone and absence of negative emotions is what you need to receive good result. And it’s better to forget the commanding tone that teachers often use, reproaches and threats. You need to be able to listen and hear the child. If punishment is necessary, it is worth thinking through it in such a way as to prevent humiliation of the student and a change in attitude towards him. Example

A sixth grade student, Oksana, does poorly in her studies, is irritable and rude when communicating with the teacher. During one of the lessons, the girl interfered with other children’s tasks, threw pieces of paper at the children, and did not react to the teacher even after several comments addressed to her. Oksana did not react to the teacher’s request to leave the class either, remaining seated. The teacher's irritation led him to decide to stop teaching the lesson and leave the entire class after school after the bell rang. This, naturally, led to dissatisfaction with the guys.

Such a solution to the conflict led to destructive changes in the mutual understanding of the student and teacher.

A constructive solution to the problem could look like this. After Oksana ignored the teacher’s request to stop disturbing the children, the teacher could get out of the situation by laughing it off, saying something with an ironic smile to the girl, for example: “Oksana ate a little porridge today, the range and accuracy of her throw is suffering, the last piece of paper never reached the addressee.” After this, calmly continue teaching the lesson further. After the lesson, you could try to talk with the girl, show her your friendly attitude, understanding, and desire to help. It’s a good idea to talk to the girl’s parents to find out the possible reason for this behavior. Paying more attention to the girl, entrusting her with important tasks, providing assistance in completing tasks, encouraging her actions with praise - all this would be useful in the process of bringing the conflict to a constructive outcome.

In the process of professional activities In addition to his immediate responsibilities related to teaching and educating the younger generation, a teacher has to communicate with colleagues, students, and their parents.

In daily interactions, it is hardly possible to avoid conflict situations. And is it necessary? After all, by correctly resolving a tense moment, it is easy to achieve good constructive results, bring people closer, help them understand each other, and achieve progress in educational aspects.

Definition of conflict. Destructive and constructive ways to resolve conflict situations

What is conflict? Definitions of this concept can be divided into two groups. In the public consciousness, conflict is most often synonymous with hostile, negative confrontation between people due to incompatibility of interests, norms of behavior, and goals.

Depending on the results of resolving conflict situations, they can be designated as destructive or constructive. The result of a destructive collision is dissatisfaction of one or both parties with the outcome of the collision, destruction of relationships, resentment, and misunderstanding.

A conflict is constructive, the solution of which was useful for the parties involved in it, if they built, acquired something valuable for themselves in it, and were satisfied with its result.

Variety of school conflicts. Causes and solutions

Conflict "Student - student"

Causes of conflicts between students

struggle for authority
rivalry
deception, gossip
insults
grievances
hostility towards the teacher's favorite students
personal dislike for a person
sympathy without reciprocity
fight for a girl (boy)

Ways to resolve conflicts between students.

Conflict “Teacher - student’s parent”

Such conflicting actions can be provoked by both the teacher and the parent. Dissatisfaction can be mutual.

Causes of conflict between teacher and parents

different ideas of the parties about the means of education
parent's dissatisfaction with teacher's teaching methods
personal enmity
parent's opinion about the unreasonable underestimation of the child's grades

Ways to resolve conflicts with student parents.

After resolving the conflict, drawing conclusions about what was done wrong and what should have been done to prevent a tense moment from occurring will help prevent similar situations in the future.

Example:

Anton is a self-confident high school student who does not have extraordinary abilities. Relations with the guys in the class are cool, there are no school friends.

At home, the boy characterizes the children in a negative way, pointing out their shortcomings, fictitious or exaggerated, shows dissatisfaction with the teachers, and notes that many teachers lower his grades.

The mother unconditionally believes her son and assents to him, which further spoils the boy’s relationship with his classmates and causes negativity towards the teachers.

The volcano of conflict explodes when a parent comes to school in anger with complaints against the teachers and school administration. No amount of persuasion or persuasion has a cooling effect on her. The conflict does not stop until the child graduates from school. It is obvious that this situation is destructive.

What could be a constructive approach to solving a pressing problem?

Using the above recommendations, we can assume that Anton’s class teacher could analyze the current situation something like this: “The mother’s conflict with the school teachers was provoked by Anton. This indicates the boy’s internal dissatisfaction with his relationships with the guys in the class. The mother added fuel to the fire without understanding the situation, increasing her son’s hostility and mistrust of the people around him at school. Which caused a response, which was expressed by the cool attitude of the guys towards Anton.”

The common goal of the parent and teacher could be the desire to unite Anton's relationship with the class.

A good result can be obtained from a dialogue between the teacher and Anton and his mother, which would show the class teacher’s desire to help the boy. It is important that Anton himself wants to change. It’s good to talk with the kids in the class so that they reconsider their attitude towards the boy, entrust them with joint responsible work, and organize extracurricular activities that help unite the kids.

Conflict "Teacher - student"

Such conflicts are perhaps the most frequent, because students and teachers spend hardly less time together than parents and children.

Causes of conflicts between teacher and students

lack of unity in teachers' demands
excessive demands on the student
inconstancy of teacher's demands
failure to comply with requirements by the teacher himself
the student feels underestimated
the teacher cannot come to terms with the student's shortcomings
personal qualities of a teacher or student (irritability, helplessness, rudeness)

Resolving conflict between teacher and student

It is better to defuse a tense situation without leading it to conflict. To do this, you can use some psychological techniques.

The natural reaction to irritability and raising your voice is similar actions. The consequence of a conversation in a raised voice will be an aggravation of the conflict. Therefore, the correct action on the part of the teacher would be a calm, friendly, confident tone in response to the student’s violent reaction. Soon the child will be “infected” by the calmness of the teacher.

A friendly and fair attitude towards students will be the key to a healthy atmosphere in the classroom and will make it easy to follow the proposed recommendations.

It is worth noting that during the dialogue between teacher and student, it is important to take certain things into account. It is worth preparing for it in advance so that you know what to tell your child. How to say - the component is no less important. Calm tone and absence negative emotions- what you need to get a good result. And it’s better to forget the commanding tone that teachers often use, reproaches and threats. You need to be able to listen and hear the child.

If punishment is necessary, it is worth thinking through it in such a way as to prevent humiliation of the student and a change in attitude towards him.

Example

Such a solution to the conflict led to destructive changes in the mutual understanding of the student and the teacher.

After the lesson, you could try to talk with the girl, show her your friendly attitude, understanding, and desire to help. It’s a good idea to talk to the girl’s parents to find out the possible reason for this behavior. Paying more attention to the girl, entrusting her with important tasks, providing assistance in completing tasks, encouraging her actions with praise - all this would be useful in the process of bringing the conflict to a constructive outcome.

A unified algorithm for resolving any school conflict

Having studied the recommendations given for each of the conflicts in school, one can trace the similarity of their constructive resolution. Let's designate it again.

The first thing that will be beneficial when a problem is ripe is calm.
The second point is to analyze the situation without vicissitudes.
The third important point is an open dialogue between the conflicting parties, the ability to listen to the interlocutor, and calmly express your view on the problem of the conflict.
The fourth thing that will help you reach the desired constructive result is identifying a common goal, ways to solve the problem that will allow you to reach this goal.
The last, fifth point will be conclusions that will help avoid communication and interaction mistakes in the future.

So what is conflict? Good or evil? The answers to these questions lie in the way tense situations are resolved. The absence of conflicts in school is almost impossible. And you still have to solve them. A constructive solution brings with it trusting relationships and peace in the classroom, a destructive solution accumulates resentment and irritation. Stop and think at the moment when irritation and anger surge - important point in choosing your own way to resolve conflict situations.

State budget special (correctional) educational institution Republic of Khakassia for students, pupils with disabilities health "Special (correctional) general education boarding school III, IV types"

teacher of history and social studies CDO

Ten Tatyana Anatolyevna

Cards with examples of conflict situations for psychological-pedagogical training

“Techniques for constructive resolution of conflict situations.”

Situation 1

Lesson English language. The class is divided into subgroups. In one of the subgroups the teacher changed. When checking homework, the new teacher, without introducing the students to her requirements, asked them to answer the topic by heart. One of the students said that previously they were allowed to retell the text freely, rather than by heart. She received -3 for retelling. which caused her negative attitude towards the teacher. The girl came to the next lesson without completing her homework, although she was a diligent student. After the survey, the teacher gave her a 2. The girl tried to disrupt the next lesson by persuading

classmates skip class. At the teacher's request, the children returned to class, but refused to complete the assignments. After lessons, the student turned to the class teacher with a request to transfer her to another subgroup.

Situation 2

A conflict has arisen between a student and a teacher: the teacher is outraged by the student’s poor performance and gives him the opportunity to improve his grades with the help of an essay; the student agrees and brings the essay to the next lesson. Firstly, not on the topic, but as he pleased, although, according to him, he spent his entire evening preparing it. Secondly, all wrinkled. The teacher is even more outraged and harshly says that this is humiliation of him as a teacher. The student stands up defiantly and begins to swing his legs back and forth, holding onto the desk. The teacher first tries to seat the student, but, unable to bear it, grabs him and pushes him out of the class, then takes him to the director, leaves him there and goes to class.

Situation 3

After the bell rang, the math teacher kept the class at recess. As a result, the students were late for the next lesson - a physics lesson. An angry physics teacher expressed his indignation to the mathematics teacher because he had a planned test. His subject, he believes, is very difficult, and he considers it unacceptable to waste lesson time due to students being late. The mathematics teacher objected that his subject was no less important and difficult. The conversation takes place in the corridor in a raised voice with a large number of witnesses.

1. Indicate the structural components (subject, participants, macroenvironment, image) of the conflict in each presented situation.

2. Identify the type of conflict presented in each situation.

Situation 4

Lesson in 8th grade. Checking homework, the teacher calls the same student three times. All three times the boy responded with silence, although he usually did well in this subject. The result is “2” in the log. The next day, the survey begins again with that student. And when he again did not answer, the teacher removed him from the lesson. The same story repeated itself in the next two classes, followed by absenteeism and calling parents to school. But the parents expressed dissatisfaction with the teacher that he could not find an approach to their son. The teacher responded by complaining to the parents that they were not paying enough attention to their son. The conversation continued in the director's office.

Determine the behavioral styles of the participants in this conflict situation.

1. What style of behavior characterizes a teacher? Parents?

2. What style of behavior does the student demonstrate?

3. Which conflict resolution style, in your opinion, is most effective in this situation?

Analyze the proposed situations from the point of view of the manifestation of conflict dynamics:

Situation 5

Parents came to the kindergarten to pick up their son's documents. The child attended kindergarten for three days, after which he fell ill, and the parents decided to take the child away. The manager demanded that the parents pay for the child’s stay in kindergarten through the Savings Bank. But the parents did not want to go to the bank and offered to pay the money to her personally. The manager explained to the parents that she could not accept the money. The parents were indignant and, having uttered a lot of insults towards her and towards kindergarten, left, slamming the door.

Situation 6

10 minutes before the lesson starts. There is a teacher and several students in the classroom. The atmosphere is calm and friendly. Another teacher enters the class with the goal of getting necessary information at a colleague's. Approaching a colleague and having a conversation with him, the teacher suddenly interrupts it and turns his attention to a 10th grade student sitting opposite, who has a gold ring on her hand: “Look, the students are all wearing gold. Who gave you permission to wear gold to school?!”

At the same time, without waiting for an answer from the student, the teacher turned to the door and, continuing to be loudly indignant, left the office, slamming the door.

One of the students asked: “What was that?” The question remained unanswered. The teacher sitting in the classroom was silent all this time, unable to find a way out of the current situation. The student became embarrassed, blushed, and began to remove the ring from her hand. Turning to either the teacher or everyone in the class, she asked: “Why and for what?” Tears appeared in the girl's eyes.

Analyze the proposed situations. Try to imagine possible solutions to them using techniques from a set of prepared reactions.

Situation 7

During a meeting, one of the parents of students in your class began to criticize your teaching and education methods. As the dialogue progressed, he began to lose his temper, angrily shouting insulting remarks at you. You cannot allow a parent to behave like that. What will you do?

Situation 8

On the street you unexpectedly meet your colleague, who is officially on sick leave. It is her lessons that you are forced to “replace”. But you find her in perfect health. What will you do?

Situation 9

At the beginning academic year The school director asked you to temporarily perform the duties of the head teacher of educational work, promising additional payment for this. But after three months, the promised payment was not credited to you. What will you do?

Situation 10

During recess, a tearful student approached you. In her opinion, you unfairly gave her an annual grade in your subject. What will you do?

Imagine the possible actions of the teacher in this situation.

Situation11

During the lesson, the teacher several times made comments to a student who was not studying. He did not react to comments, continued to disturb others, asked ridiculous questions to the students around him and distracted them from the topic being explained by the teacher. The teacher made one more remark and warned that it was the last. She continued her explanation, but the rustling and hum did not diminish. Then the teacher approached the student, took a diary from his desk and wrote down a comment. Then the lesson was actually disrupted, as the student continued to communicate with his classmates with greater force, and the teacher could no longer stop him.

Conflicts are an integral part of people's lives.

The ability to behave competently in adverse circumstances is the key to calm and self-confidence.

For this reason, it is useful for any person to study examples of what conflict situations can be and how to resolve them.

How to avoid conflict between teacher and student? Find out about this from ours.

Concept and psychology of conflict management

- what is this? In short, this is clash of interests, opinions and views.

As a result of the conflict, crisis situation, in which each participant in the conflict seeks to impose his point of view on the other side.

Conflict not stopped in time may lead to open confrontation, in which the subject of the dispute is relegated to the background and the ambitions of the parties come first.

As a rule, as a result of a conflict, there are no losers or winners, since all participants expend effort and ultimately do not receive positive emotions.

Special danger represent internal conflicts when a person is tormented by conflicting thoughts and desires tearing him apart. Protracted conditions internal conflicts often end in depression and neuroses.

A modern person needs to be able to recognize a beginning conflict in time, take competent steps to prevent the conflict from growing and eliminate it at the inception stage.

If, nevertheless, it is not possible to extinguish the conflict immediately, it is necessary to be able to build the correct and get out of conflict wisely with minimal losses.

How does it arise?

As a result of numerous studies, it has been determined that most conflicts arise without the corresponding intentions of their participants.

Often people involuntarily react to the conflictogens of other people, or they themselves are a source of conflictogens, as a result of which a stressful situation arises.

Conflictogens- words, actions, deeds leading to conflict. They arise when the participants have any psychological problems, or are used purposefully to achieve their goals.

Most conflictogens manifest themselves for the following reasons:

thirst for superiority. The desire to prove one's worth;
aggressiveness. Initially aggressive behavior in relation to other people, caused by a negative emotional state;
selfishness. The desire to achieve your goals at any cost.

How do conflicts arise? True reasons and solutions:

Popular methods for resolving situations

The most effective strategies that are most often used in practice to manage conflict:

About ways to resolve conflicts in this video:

Resolution Methods

From a scientific point of view, there are specific methods for resolving conflict:

Structural

Most often used in the professional field. These include:

Constructive

How to resist aggression and successfully resolve conflict? Similar methods of conflict resolution are more used in communication.

To successfully resolve the situation using constructive methods, it is necessary to form an adequate perception of the situation among the participants, arrange them for open interaction, create an atmosphere of goodwill and trust, and jointly determine the root of the problem.

Construction styles include:

Integral

Allows each side to feel like a winner. A similar effect is achieved when the parties agree to abandon their original positions, reconsider the situation and find a solution that satisfies everyone.

The method can only be used if the parties to the dispute demonstrate flexibility of thinking and the ability to adapt to new circumstances.

Compromise

The most peaceful, mature way resolution of the situation.

The parties decide on mutual concessions in order to eliminate the negative factors that caused the dispute.

Such behavior of people allows not only to peacefully resolve emerging contradictions without harm to anyone, but also to build long-term communication connections.

Way out of the conflict

How to get out of conflict situations? To get out of this unpleasant situation the following steps need to be taken:

Stop using words or taking actions that provoke a negative response from your opponent.
Do not react to such behavior on the part of your interlocutor.
Show affection towards another person. This can be done using gestures, facial expressions, and words. Smiling, patting the shoulder, shaking hands, and using polite phrases all help smooth out arguments.
The interlocutor immediately acquires a positive attitude and the situation is soon resolved.

Examples of conflict situations

In society

Best resolved using constructive methods.

For example, neighbors of an apartment building may enter into a conflict caused by the distribution of parking spaces in the yard.

Some neighbors will insist on clear markings, according to which each car is assigned a specific parking space. Other residents will advocate for the possibility of free placement of cars.

In this situation most effective methods dispute resolution will be building dialogue, joint resolution of the situation through compromise.

Residents just need to organize a meeting and decide that part of the area in the yard is allocated for individual parking, and the other part remains for supporters of free parking.

Between employees

It is better to solve using structural methods.

For example, employees of the same team may come into conflict due to inability to work together in the same direction.

Each person defines for himself a range of responsibilities that is not approved by his colleague. The result is the emergence of a conflict situation and ineffective teamwork.

The manager of the employees involved in the dispute must use methods to clarify requirements, set goals, and assign rewards.

Each employee will be explained the principle of his work, a clear spectrum job responsibilities. In front of colleagues joint goals will be set, upon achieving which they will receive the promised reward (bonus, promotion, etc.).

How to resolve conflicts correctly? Find out from the video:

Completion Forms

What is the form of ending a conflict? A conflict of interest can be resolved as follows:

Permission. The prerequisites may be that the parties desire to end the dispute and not return to it in the future. To finally resolve the conflict, it may be necessary to involve third parties. This is especially true in the field of professional relationships.
Attenuation. The dispute may cease to be relevant for one of the parties or for all participants in the process. In the first case, the second party does not find a response to its own words and actions and is forced to end the conflict. In the second case, the parties simultaneously decide that they do not want to continue the dispute due to fatigue, the end of the arguments, loss of interest in the subject of the dispute, etc.
This type of conflict is not always completed, since when a new stimulus arises, the dispute can resume with renewed vigor.
Settlement. The parties come to a compromise and reach mutual agreements. As a result, the dispute is resolved through constructive dialogue and effective interpersonal interaction.
Elimination. The basis of the conflict is eliminated, transformed, modified, etc. In other words, the subject of the dispute ceases to be relevant at the current moment in time and the fact of a conflict of interests automatically disappears.
Growing into a new dispute. Unexplained contradictions on one issue can become a source of new conflicts generated by the primary dispute. This effect is especially often observed when a remark made by one of the spouses on any issue develops into a mutual exchange of reproaches.

Completion is not always resolution

Does ending a conflict always mean resolving it? It is important not to confuse the concepts of ending a conflict situation with its resolution.

Ending the conflict- this is the moment of completion of the parties’ actions at the current moment in time, the termination of the dispute for various reasons (attenuation, escalation into a new dispute, etc.)

Closing a dispute at this time does not guarantee that it will will not arise again after some time. This is due to the fact that the source of the conflict has not been resolved, and the parties have not achieved any result.

Conflict resolution involves the conscious use of methods and techniques aimed at correcting the negative situation that has arisen.

A resolved conflict allows the parties to reconcile and no longer return to the subject of the dispute.

Thus, conflict can arise in any area of a person’s life. as a result of a clash of his interests with the interests of other people.

There are many ways to resolve conflict. It is important to be able to put them into practice before the situation reaches a serious level.

Learn how to communicate with other people if you have different points of view on certain issues in this video:

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