How can a woman reduce the importance of desire in attracting love? Tips for eliminating importance from vadim zeland How to reduce the importance of desire.

Relationships with your beloved man will fail if you attach too much importance to them. This is the law. If a crack has already appeared in feelings and relationships, then for the sake of their preservation it is worth lowering the importance of the desired, that is, letting go of the situation and not thinking about the bad. How to do it in practice, will tell "Popularly about health".

Why you can't think bad?

Quite recently, you were happy, love completely absorbed all nature, but now everything has changed - a chill, understatement, discontent, resentment appeared in the relationship. The situation is heating up every day, the gap is close. If you feel this, then it's time to stop thinking about the bad.

Negative thoughts will certainly materialize, that is, they turn into events that happen to us. Thinking about parting, you bring it closer. Experiences, according to the theory of reality transurfing, are pendulums that bring chaos into our life and prevent us from being happy. We feed their vibrations with our emotions. The more we think about the bad, worry, suffer, the more the destructive pendulum swings. If your goal is to maintain a relationship with a man, stop thinking about the bad, feeding the pendulum.

How to stop worrying and worrying if bad thoughts constantly come into your head? Use a simple but effective way - talk to your chosen one. It may be possible to find out who is dissatisfied with what or to dispel doubts. If this option is not possible, write your experiences on a piece of paper, putting your energy into it, and then burn it. After that, it will certainly become easier, because bad thoughts will be destroyed before your eyes.

How to reduce importance in a relationship with a man?

Vadim Zeland recommends to reduce the importance of our desires so that they are fulfilled faster. This rule applies to any area of life. Surely you have noticed that what we strongly desire is impatiently awaiting, in no hurry to be fulfilled, various obstacles arise, etc. If we attach too much importance to something, then most of the energy is wasted on experiences, and therefore on swinging the destructive pendulum. It will never be possible to achieve the fulfillment of desire if the importance is too high. The same is in relations with a man - impatience, irrepressible passion, too strong a desire to be close to him, to possess him will certainly lead to a deterioration in relations.

* You will die?
* Will you fall ill with an incurable disease?
* Will you feel calm?
* What will you do without this man?

Usually, after such tricky questions posed to herself, it becomes obvious that a specific person is not so important, because life will continue without him, nothing will happen. Once you manage to realize that the main thing in your life is yourself, and not him, the importance in the relationship will decrease slightly. This will allow you to channel energy in the right direction - to maintain valuable relationships, and not swing harmful pendulums.

The same advice applies to women who are trying to find the man of their dreams. Passionate desire and constant thoughts about where to find it will not lead to the desired result, they will only interfere. Thinking about the bad - about loneliness, for example, does not bode well either. They will certainly materialize. How to be? Focus on yourself by setting a goal to get married successfully. Having engaged in self-improvement, your appearance, you will not only be distracted from negative thoughts, but also let go of desire, reduce its importance. Then it will certainly come true.

How to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man?

But what if the relationship does not go well, and the man is about to leave? Let go of the situation. Let's give an example. Imagine that you grabbed a man by the throat, preventing him from even moving. Does this approach help to keep him?

On the contrary, this situation will lead to the fact that the victim begins to defend himself, to break free and to fight back. The same thing happens in relationships. Persuasion, persecution, restriction of freedom will have the opposite effect.

Wanting to improve relationships, it is worth showing love, but not putting pressure on your loved one, not limiting his freedom of action. Letting go of the situation, in other words, trusting the Universe, giving the solution to the issue, being sure that everything will turn out in the best way. Having learned to let go of problems in relationships, you will become free from worries, resentments, disappointments, and everything in your life will turn out so that you will be happy.

What conclusions can be drawn from our discussion:

* Do not attach too much importance to relationships and loved ones.
* It is unacceptable to focus on the bad - on separation, fear of loneliness, misunderstanding, resentment.
* You need to learn to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man, trusting the Universe.

Downsizing the problem and loosening the grip

Where do we get negative emotions? Because we overestimate the importance of things.

For example, you get depressed because you can't make enough money, or you still haven't married, or haven't gotten a promotion, etc.

You are fixated on your problem, giving it too much importance. Hence the experience. What to do? Reduce importance.

However, this does not mean fighting your feelings and trying to suppress them. Feelings can remain the same. It is necessary to eliminate the cause - your attitude to the problem, which causes too much obsession. Try to realize that when you attach too much importance to it, it creates overwhelming concern. Therefore, we must start by lowering the importance. And then what is called "healthy indifference" comes to the rescue.

There are no problems as such. There is only an artificially high value. Everything is relative, and what you think is a serious problem is nothing more than an annoying misunderstanding to an outsider. Remember, people often tell us: “Why are you messing around? I don't see a problem. Never mind".

Let's say you are worried that NN does not reciprocate your love, or you cannot find mutual understanding with your parents, etc. Stop dwelling on your problem, and the matter will get off the ground, gradually a way will be found.

In this case, such a technique as taking to the extreme helps very well. Not in real life, of course, but just in your imagination. Ask yourself, what is the worst thing that will happen if NN still does not answer your love? Imagine that he is no longer there, he has disappeared, wiped off the face of the earth, he does not exist. So what's next? You will burn, you will burn, and then you will stop crying. Life will go on as usual sooner or later. You will understand: it means that it is not destiny, and you need to look for a new love, wait for its arrival. You say it's impossible? Not true. If you stop programming yourself only for suffering, but, on the contrary, treat this philosophically and tell yourself that life, in spite of everything, continues, then the wound will heal over time and you will definitely meet your happiness. The main thing here is what program you will adopt for yourself. If positive, then everything will be fine, and if negative, then you will continue to stuck in depression.

What happens if, despite your best efforts, you still fail to develop a good relationship with your parents? Well, you have to take it for granted, leave the situation alone and follow its development. Perhaps, over time, there will be some shifts and everything will work out. But no, so no, what to do. Remember the expression: "I do everything that I can, and let it be, what will be."

Asking yourself the question: "What will happen if ...?", Walk to the very edge and look around. And it turns out that nothing catastrophic will happen. Let's say it's not your destiny to be with NN, so why not live now? Or your relationship with your parents is not going well - so, drown yourself? For many, the degree of obsession is such that they will say: yes. not live, yes, drown. But, have mercy, is it worth it? Isn't it better to try to direct your efforts to fully comprehend the problem and find a way out of a difficult situation?

However, there are things that don't go well despite all the efforts. What do we do in such cases? We put them aside - let them lie down, maybe everything will somehow resolve itself.

Here it is worth doing the same. Time is the best doctor and the best teacher.

When you realize that problems are illusory, you can deliberately reduce their importance. I am not suggesting that you downgrade their importance, but only diminish the importance that you attach to them, and look at them from the outside, soberly and impartially. By lowering the importance, you will find peace of mind. And there will be nothing to hook you for.

The depression will go away. All of the above does not mean at all that you should turn into an insensitive idol. You may be upset that you still haven't started a family or established good relationships with colleagues, but you shouldn't be stuck in one place. You can take a problem calmly, and at the same time it will not become indifferent to you - do you feel the difference? By unnecessarily inflating the problem, you harass yourself and those around you. Once you calm your inner pendulum and find peace of mind, over time you will find that new solutions have emerged.

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The topic of importance is analyzed in detail, in practice, difficulties still arise ...

"How to reduce the importance if fired from work, and I have two loans and a mortgage?"
"How can you relax if competitors have lured half of our customers?"
"How can you not worry when the realization of your most desired goal is at stake?"
"How to calm down and not overestimate the importance when a happy marriage in the past is on the verge of collapse?"

Indeed, it is difficult to maintain awareness, calmness and a clear head when such collapses occur in life. Emotions go off scale, doubts and fears creep out of the corners of consciousness, and resentment and anger do not allow to think soberly. It’s not up to the intention! would first reduce. In order not to further aggravate the situation.

So, let's figure it out again - how to lower the importance of the software?

Tatiana Samarina, Lead Trainer of the Transurfing Center, answers

This question is asked to me from year to year by program participants, and it does not lose its relevance. After all, an overestimated importance can greatly interfere with the realization of your goals. As the author writes, "The higher the significance of the goal, the less likely it is to achieve it."

How to lower the importance? At first glance, it seems that this is very simple - stop worrying, relax, let go of the situation. But in reality it turns out completely differently: as soon as we set a goal, thoughts start spinning in my head: "Well, when already?", "What if it doesn't work out?"

At such moments, you can even on a physical level feel how your whole body is straining, your heartbeat quickens, and a variety of thoughts overwhelm your head. This condition is a clear sign of overestimation. It becomes very IMPORTANT for you that the goal is embodied in reality by all means. And preferably faster ...

So what can you do in order not to overestimate the importance? I suggest you start with two main ways.

1. The first really effective way to reduce importance is to take action. This means that you need to start taking real steps towards your goal. Importance is excess potential, and excess potential dissipates in action. If you don't know exactly what steps you need to take, then include the body in the work! Any aerobic exercise is suitable for this - running, swimming, dancing. Allow yourself to step out of your comfort zone through your body. And be sure to set yourself the intention of expressing your "importance" before playing sports.

Why is it so “important” to let go of importance?

Importance is insidious in that it prevents us from realizing our goals, especially at a time when they are almost in our pocket. When we want something very much, with lust and impatience, excess potentials are born, and equilibrium forces immediately arise, designed to establish harmony, eliminating the very cause of the conflict. That is your goal.

For example, imagine you are being interviewed for a prestigious position at an international corporation. You have dreamed about it all the last years. You have already successfully passed the first two stages of the competition, and the final, the most responsible, remains. In addition to you, two more worthy specialists apply for this place.

How do you feel on the eve of the interview? Most likely, you start to worry, clench your fists, clench your teeth and ... give birth to excess potentials that create an imbalance. And you yourself significantly reduce your chances of taking the desired position! Wouldn't it be better to relax, trust your world, formulate a clear intention ... and then just go and get yours? As calm and confident as you shop for new items?

“Drop the importance of purpose, give up lust and leave only the determination to have. You must go to Your goal, as for mail from a box "().

Importance is also dangerous because it inflates problems, attracts new troubles and aggravates already difficult situations, "adds fuel to the fire." And only in your power to extinguish this fire in order to do without sacrifices and even greater losses.

For example, on vacation in another country, your wallet was stolen. Yes, an unfortunate incident! But what to do next is up to you. You can react like this: “That's it, now all the rest is ruined! A terrible country, terrible people, the world is so unfair to me! .. ". And then the mirror world will begin to diligently justify your expectations. They will steal something else from you, cheat in a cafe, step on your foot, your camera will break, you miss the bus, the electricity will be cut off in the hotel ...

But you can react to an unpleasant situation with theft of a wallet in a completely different way. Just laugh at her, so as not to inflate the importance: “What a nice thief, stole my money, well, let him be happy, buy himself ice cream! But now I definitely will not take home a bunch of unnecessary souvenirs, I will not fill up in a restaurant, I will give up a taxi - I will walk more, build and spend my vacation with benefit! ”.

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In the Transurfing Center, in addition to the programs presented in the schedule, you can undergo an individual consultation with a trainer or a training on a topic of your choice. ...

INDIVIDUAL TRAINING AND PROGRAMS

If you could not attend the program you are interested in or feel uncomfortable with a large number of people, you can take the training individually. .

Videos and practices from the trainers of the Transurfing Center

Tips from Tatiana Samarina to reduce the importance

You can easily reduce the importance - it does not require long hours of meditation, visualization and other techniques from you. It is enough just to consciously follow two tips from, giving importance to at least 5-10 minutes a day - and you will already notice the results and changes in your life!

How to reduce importance through action?

The importance dissipates in action. But where do you start? What exactly should you do? And, most importantly, why, will it really work? Answers.

Practice "Rising above the problem" from

Pick a spot on a dais, climb to the balcony of a multi-story building, look around ... and start working on lowering the importance! You only need 5 minutes for this practice. Find two objects - one large, such as a temple, and one small, such as a car. So what is next…

Once you learn to reduce importance and not create excessive potentials, the number of problems in your life will decrease significantly. You will be surprised yourself when you discover that what was previously given with such difficulty suddenly seems to "float" into your hands! The fact is that by not allowing balancing forces and pendulums to interfere, you gain freedom of choice and regain the right to control your life. And you will easily realize all your goals!

You can practice using the tools to reduce importance right now - and finally get rid of it by participating in an online meeting. ... In 1.5 hours you:

you will learn how and by what means the importance is formed;
master the tools of Reality Transurfing to reduce importance in all areas of life;
reduce your importance and stop creating excess potential;
learn to consciously choose the desired emotional state;
learn to act successfully in stressful situations;
free yourself from obstacles on the way and begin to easily and calmly realize your goals!

Surely this happens with you: because of the high importance of a person, you do some rash acts. It is difficult to reason soberly about this person. Why it happens? Why does it happen that the significance of a person soars to heaven? Is it good?

If you want to reduce the importance of a person, then there is little good from high importance. The importance of the person for you is rather a disadvantage. What to do?

In a situation where our hero needs to reduce the importance of a certain person, we need to work in two directions: 1) increase the importance of our hero. 2) reduce the importance of another person.

Perhaps you consider yourself unworthy of another person's attention. In this case, the other person might be an ordinary guy or girl who turned their attention to you. You have experienced this feeling and you want to continue. It smells of low self-esteem in our hero. Here you need to hammer into your head "You fully deserve the attention of this person." How? Improve yourself. Keep the bar of development and you will no longer feel flawed.
Maybe you are doing well with self-esteem, and you just (! What do you think) pulled out a lottery ticket, making friends with such a great person.

The principle of significance in importance. What you get from such a person is very important to you. Most likely you have only one such person. Therefore, everything is simple: try to get “this very thing” from another person and you will see that your person is not that special. Maybe you like the new person? Because due to the fact that you have only one person, one option, you have a fear of losing that person. You don't have a reserve parachute.

Why do different pick-up masters advise boys to date two girls at once? Because he will stop being afraid. “It will not work with one, it will work with the other” - the lifeline of inevitable success allows you to be liberated, to be yourself.

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Reader question:

« How to get rid of obsessive thoughts that lead to a constant escalation of importance? You want to throw it off, you try to switch attention, not react, but everything is empty, they still return with even greater force. As a result, the desired (and most often thought about it) does not happen. How to deal with this?»

Vadim Zeland's answer:

Again, repetition is the mother of learning. Another snippet from the Projector:

“All oppressive and oppressive factors are what in Transurfing is united under the general term importance. When something oppresses you, that something automatically becomes important. Importance blocks the flow of free energy, literally like a clothespin. The block puts you into a state of numbness, you lose the ability to act effectively, and it is no longer you who control events, but they control you.

How to free yourself, get out of the stupor? The basic principle is to eliminate the clothespin and create a flow of energy in its place. Since the block is an energy stagnation (plug), it must first be eliminated, and then the energy must be pumped up.

The importance in Transurfing is eliminated by realizing it. If you woke up and realized what it was that oppressed you, half the battle was already done. Important things have power over you as long as you are in a state of unconscious dreaming, while "the terrible is hiding in the closet." As soon as you "open the closet" and look closely at the subject of your importance, it immediately turns into a funny fluffy lump.

After unlocking, it is required to disperse the stagnant flow of energy. The buildup of energy is realized by action. Don't wait, don't be afraid and don't think - act. There is no better way to swing. General self-release algorithm:

We identify the clothespin (which is oppressive);
We remove it (we realize);
We create a stream (act).

How to identify

It is necessary to get into the habit of awakening your attention, at the moment when, for some reason, an oppressive state arises. Does something bother you, frighten you, cause discomfort? We must immediately wake up and realize what exactly. Somewhere in the head a red light should light up - an alarm signal. At this moment, you wake up and begin to observe what is happening, as well as yourself, asking yourself questions: what is happening, what oppresses me, what am I doing at the moment?

After the light is on (you realize that something is oppressing you), you need to look back at the load and subject it to a suitability test. Do you really need this load, or can you do without it?

If the "red light" becomes a habit, it will make your life much easier and will allow you to act effectively in all kinds of situations, from the simple, when they are trying to deceive you, to the extreme, when you need to maintain composure and a clear head.

How to remove

Importance arises in a situation where the significance or value of an event (interview), thing (new car), or relationship (with a partner) is unjustifiably overestimated. Typical manifestations: anxiety in anticipation of a possible failure, or anxiety about the failure of what happened. In either case, the inner peace is disturbed, the energy is blocked.

The general principle of elimination is to see, realize, change the attitude. Look at the situation dispassionately, impassively, with purely medical interest, through a magnifying glass. For example:

I'm scared? I observe myself, how I am afraid, and I allow myself to be afraid. It allows me to move towards my fear.
- I am annoyed that my script is being violated? I want to bang my hands on the water and scream hysterically: "Everything should be the way I want!" I watch the scene from the outside, and again, I deliberately allow the script to be violated, and flexibly follow the changes along the flow of options.
- Is there anything too significant for me? But I realize that any significance is only external, apparent. There is nothing particularly significant. As you know, "for every sage, simplicity is enough." The same applies to any greatness, to anything to which the term "significant" can be applied.

This does not mean at all that one should turn into a marble statue. You need to manage what is primary - the relationship. Emotions and feelings are secondary.

If the importance is so high that you cannot throw it off, you need to accept defeat and go to an exam, meeting or an important event with a weakened intention: “I’m unlikely to succeed today.” This attitude weakens the intention, but it removes the potential for importance, which often gets in the way.

It should only be understood that if you attach too much importance to the issue of the most important, then you can find yourself in the looking glass, where, on the contrary, importance is replaced by complete indifference, which is also not good. Lack of importance is not carelessness or indifference, but deliberate observation.

How to create a stream

If all importance has not yet disappeared, its remnants dissipate in action. Anxious waiting and inaction builds up potential and blocks the flow of energy. Action, on the other hand, dissipates excess potentials and launches energy.

If you have an oppressed state, it is painful for you, you do not want to do anything, or if there is some kind of stupor, you should understand that the reason for this is the energy block. It must be eliminated. But this requires starting a movement, at least doing something.

Let's say there is a lot of difficult work ahead - you just need to take it and start doing it. I would like to meet someone - you just have to go and get acquainted without hesitation. You have no idea how to work or communicate - it doesn't matter - when the thread is running, decisions come by themselves, in the process. "