How to make friends with neighbors using the zodiac? The most important rules for dealing with neighbors Create a community project.

Correct relations with neighbors is a whole art. These people are not chosen and can be quite unpleasant. But if you manage to establish contact with them, they can bring invaluable benefits and remove a huge number of problems. So, the topic of our article is relationships with neighbors. What rules must be followed in order to establish them?

Human and society

As you know, people are social creatures. It is difficult for us to live alone, so we somehow form communities in which the division of labor, hierarchy, and various connections operate. People help each other, build relationships, interact. This gives each member of society certain rights and privileges, but also imposes obligations.

For a harmonious life, large groups of people need to create some rules that they will follow so that everyone is as comfortable as possible. This includes the laws according to which the adult generation brings up children. With these rules, society tries to isolate itself from the destructive phenomena that affect it: alcoholism, drug addiction, etc. At the same time, friendliness, willingness to help others, and compassion are encouraged. These are the main principles of life in society. And they also apply to those who live with us in the same house and in one, since these people almost always surround any member of society.

Where a person grew up often greatly depends on how he communicates with others. In cities, people live more closely together, but they try to isolate their personal space from the rest as much as possible. Those who grew up are often more sociable and friendly towards neighbors. This, however, does not mean that everyone in villages and small towns treats each other well - it is just that people understand that life is easier when there is someone to rely on or someone to ask for help. Inhabitants of megalopolises, as a rule, are rather loners, they prefer to solve their problems on their own or with the help of professionals, but without contacting friends. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but in general, this is the case. Whether this situation is good or not is difficult to judge, but you can try to change it.

The rules of relations with neighbors are relevant even for those who have to constantly change their place of residence. Sometimes this can be even more useful for such people than for those who have lived in the same place since childhood. Forwarding correspondence, maintaining old connections - all this can be easily achieved with the help of neighbors. The absence of problems with the district and other residents can also be the result of friendship with the old women - the invisible and inaudible guard of the peace of the citizens. Good relationships with colleagues on the staircase can help you quickly get used to a new place, learn about interesting places nearby or non-obvious ways to spend your leisure time. So it can be very useful, even if the introduction is initially meant to be brief. And this is all the more important for those who have lived in the same place since childhood, because the most important rules for dealing with neighbors are simple and really do not require serious efforts.

Relations with neighbors

Most people want to be liked by others - this is normal. But this is not always the case. Sometimes others themselves cause irritation and other negative emotions by their behavior. This is also normal, as well as the fact that someone who seeks to make friends may not meet with understanding from the other side.

Some people simply prefer not only not to greet their neighbors, but even simply not to bump into them. And if earlier such behavior for the majority was an unaffordable luxury, since dormitories flourished, when several strangers, or even families, lived in the same apartment, now it is easier to fence off. But is it necessary? Or is it easier with the neighbors? The basic rules are very simple.

The first steps can be taken immediately after the move. They are elementary - ask for something insignificant like borrow a couple of eggs or a glass of sugar, admire the beauty of a luxurious neighbor's cat. Then you can establish contact, feeling for common themes, points of contact. Perhaps such a relationship will grow to a real sincere friendship, and if the interests are still completely different, you can simply maintain a polite benevolent neutrality.

It is even easier to establish good relationships with neighbors in the country - you can invite them to a picnic or barbecue, for sure they will not refuse to join the fun company. And at the table, communication is likely to go easily and naturally.

Neighbors - how to live together?

Relationship with neighbors is not always an easy question. Nowadays, people rarely fully trust each other. And yet, neighbors can be both very helpful in some situations, and have the ability to harm. That is why it is better to build a fairly good relationship with them.

Firstly, in the absence of the owners of the apartment, curious old women will become invisible guards, who may well protect their homes from robbery or other encroachment. Secondly, in some yards, neighbors still look after children they know in one way or another, which reduces the likelihood of some kind of misfortune. Finally, it will always be easier for comrades at the entrance, if they have good relations, to agree among themselves on any issues: from a convenient time for everyone, when noisy repairs will be carried out to changing service organizations if they are not satisfied with something. Finally, if we establish good relations with neighbors, territorial disputes can be resolved without bringing them to court, but simply by agreeing. This is very valuable, since litigation takes a lot of time and nerves, and they can drag on for a very long time.

So, any situation in which the support of people may be needed will be easier if you study and follow the rules of relations with neighbors. And then it will be possible to leave spare keys with them, ask them to make sure that the child has lunch after school, or make any other not too burdensome requests, in return also offering their help.

However, not everyone wants to communicate closely with housemates or a summer cottage village. Perhaps, first of all, this statement can be attributed to medical workers - all the benefits of friendship with others, most likely, will be leveled out by endless questions and requests. At the same time, even a motivated refusal will surely cause a terrible resentment. Of course, in this case, you can still build a good relationship, for example, by hiding your profession and carefully bypassing direct questions.

Keep quiet

Nobody likes extraneous sounds in their apartment. But neighbors inevitably make repairs, give birth and raise children, learn to play musical instruments, watch TV in the evenings, etc. You cannot insure yourself against noise, especially in some houses with very thin walls. But you can be polite and demand the same from others - any loud sounds should be heard only in the daytime, and after lunch it is also better to give others a rest - at this time, for example, babies are sleeping.

Do not litter

There are janitors and cleaners, but they do not always have access to closed vestibules, and the quality of their work may be different. In this regard, in the rules of relations with neighbors, it is worth including an item on how to try not to litter and not bring excess dirt to the common territory. The same applies to large-sized things that need to be taken to the trash heap - you should not leave them in the entrance, creating inconvenience.

Animals and cars

Elementary etiquette implies a careful attitude to other people's property and a reasonable approach to one's own. You should not let an angry and dangerous-looking dog go for a walk alone, it is even better that it always be muzzled. She may be the friendliest creature in the world, but not everyone can guess about it, and many children are just scared.

As for personal transport, you should park very carefully so as not to interfere with anyone, not to close the aisles and entrances. It is also worth thinking about not disturbing the residents of the first floors by warming up the cars in winter. And of course, it is worth setting up the alarm so that it does not react to ordinary passers-by.

Smoking

Not everyone likes cigarette smoke, and it's also a powerful allergen. Moscow has already been banned, but the law is not observed everywhere. You should not aggravate the relationship if a comment was made about a smoky staircase and an unpleasant smell. But even if no one objects, do not forget about cleanliness and culture - leaving cigarette butts on the floor is bad manners.

Tenants

When renting out your apartment, you should also think a little about your neighbors. It is probably worth choosing tenants carefully so that they do not throw up parties every evening, inviting a bunch of guests, make noise without interruption, etc. The rules of relations with neighbors should also apply to them, so it is worth giving a short briefing before moving in and, perhaps, help to establish contact with someone living nearby - so everyone will be calmer.

All the rest

The rules for dealing with neighbors are essentially a simple observance of etiquette. To hold the door, to say hello, to help young mothers with strollers, not to create unnecessary inconveniences - that is, perhaps, all that is needed for simple neutrality. Well, if you want to make friends - just strike up a conversation.

When is it better not to communicate?

The world is imperfect, and the people around them can also be at least unpleasant, and sometimes openly harmful to their neighbors if the relationship does not work out. In this case, it is better to come to terms with the fact that it will not work to establish them.

if a person does not make contact over and over again, it is better not to impose, this will only cause rejection;
mentally unstable people can change their opinion about others to the diametrically opposite for no reason - you should not communicate closely with them in order to avoid unnecessary problems;
marginal people can hardly be called a good company, so you shouldn't make friends with them either.

Neighbors are a really important element. Many people take this factor into account when planning to buy an apartment. So don't underestimate the rules for dealing with neighbors. By observing them, most often you can count on the fact that they will pay back in kind. And this is very valuable given the fact that some everyday issues are not regulated by Russian legislation in any way.

What role do neighbors play in our lives? We are friends with some of them, we just say hello to some of them, and we don't even know someone by name, although we have lived side by side for many years ...

Meanwhile, the good ones can be extremely important. How to build them correctly?

Consider the most common apartment building. Often the inhabitants of such a house are not even interested in who lives next to them. But in vain! How many stories about robbers and swindlers posing as residents! Posing as neighbors, they can, say, dressed in a dressing gown and slippers, borrow a large sum of money and disappear from your life forever ... Or rob an apartment without hindrance, since the neighbors do not even know who its owners are.
Therefore, it is imperative to know your neighbors. At least the closest ones. So…

It is advisable to get to know at least those who live on the same staircase with you. How to do it? It is best to introduce yourself when you meet, say, on the stairs or in the elevator: "I am your new neighbor (neighbor)." And give your name. The person is likely to say his own in response. Now you are familiar. If you and your neighbor both have a dog, it's even easier to make an acquaintance. Two dog lovers will always find a common topic of conversation. If you can't communicate outside the apartment, you can follow the example of the heroes of American films and take some food to your neighbors. Or even invite them to. But this is appropriate if you already know each other at least in person. And behave tactfully, do not try to impose on guests - perhaps the person is not up to you or he is not too sociable ... Be understanding if you are thanked for a treat or an invitation, but they refuse further communication under the pretext of being busy and lack of time - all the same the first a step has already been taken ...

Get in the habit of greeting your neighbors. Do this even if you think that you have nothing in common with these people, and you have never really talked. Who knows, what if someday you will have to contact them on some issue?

Look for things to do and talk about. For example, invite your neighbors to take part in a volunteer clean-up, plant flowers under the windows, or jointly write a statement to the housing office asking for minor repairs. Talk to them about problems in your home or yard that concern you. It always brings together and unites.

Get phone numbers from your nearest neighbors. You never know in what situation it will come in handy. For example, you can call absent neighbors if they have a flood in their apartment.

If you are planning renovation work in the apartment, then warn the neighbors about this. It is best to bypass all the neighbors on the right, left, above and below and warn them that at some hours they will be bothered by noise. Sorry for that. You should also ask permission if you plan to temporarily store old furniture and other items on the site or in the lobby.

Try not to swear, but to negotiate. If the neighbors make too much noise, and it bothers you, it is better not to pounce on them with abuse, but to try to agree that at some hours they will not make noise (for example, when your child is sleeping).

Follow the rules of human society. Do not leave rubbish, litter, or throw cigarette butts on the landing. If you have shit on stairs or in common areas, clean up behind it as soon as possible. Be sure to clean the area if it is messy or dirty due to your fault or the fault of your guests.

Participate in common affairs. Do not neglect general house meetings, subbotniks, do not refuse to donate money for general house needs. If you begin to "break away from the team," you may later remember this, and just at the moment when you need something from your neighbors. Of course, everything should be within reasonable limits. If, for example, you are required to sign a slander on one of the tenants of the house, and you personally do not know this person, then you should think ten times whether it is worth signing. When signing various statements and protocols, first read their content - it may be contrary to your interests. In this case, no one has the right to condemn you for not signing the paper. But, for example, it is stupid not to sign a complaint about the current roof: by doing this you will only set your neighbors against you. So what if the ceiling is not leaking in your own apartment? It can happen at any moment ...

Don't discuss your neighbors. Remember that what you are telling can reach those to whom they are dedicated. And it can ruin your relationship with your neighbors forever. But you shouldn't tell your neighbors too much about yourself. It is not known how they will interpret this - they may form a bad impression of you.

Do not refuse to fulfill small requests. If one of the neighbors asked you to provide a small service - to look after the apartment in the absence of the owners, water the flowers, feed the pets, sit for an hour with a small child, borrow something - do not refuse if possible. After all, you, too, sooner or later may need to ask for help.

Every year, the whole world celebrates the Day of Neighbors - and although this year in Russia it was also celebrated on May 25, with what, and with good neighborly relations in our country, everything is not the same as in good films with close communication and cherry pies. Bolshaya Derevnya, together with IKEA, decided to rectify the situation and conducted an experiment: our correspondent Ksenia Chastova followed the Swedish rules of good neighborliness for a week and communicated with the residents of her native 12-storey building. How the challenge changed not only relationships, but also the life of the whole house - in a detailed diary report.

Experimental conditions

The field for the experiment was a Soviet-built socket in the Sovetsky district of Samara, in which I have lived since childhood. The house has 12 floors, 48 apartments and more than a hundred residents, with whom I have never tried to build warm relations. Unless, as a child and obeying my mother, I greeted those who met us on the landing - usually barely audible, or even completely silently. Now, twenty years later, I stopped forcing myself to do it - and the neighbors did not try. All interaction with them began and ended in the elevator and was forced - the floor buttons were pressed only one at a time, so the conversations were very monotonous: "Which one to you?" - "Sixth".

Ksenia Chastova

As part of the experiment, within a week I had to get out of the comfort zone that had been developing for decades. And once and for all - after all, regardless of the results achieved, the neighbors had to intersect further. I had to establish connections from scratch - we were united only by a sea of common problems, including two scary old elevators, dirt in the stairwell and an unpleasant smell from the sewer system, periodically felt on the first floor.

In Sweden, good-neighborly relations are much better developed than in Russia, so we came up with the conditions for the experiment together with the IKEA team. I was supposed to start small: to greet all the residents of my house and offer them all possible help, then find the elder at the entrance and find out what he is doing, and finally, get to know the neighbors and rally to solve a common problem - go to a mini-cleanup. For the latter, IKEA even provided pots with artificial plants - to refresh the view of the entrance and inspire the neighbors to new achievements.

Day one: get to know your neighbor

Day two: find a leader

Following the recommendation of IKEA to unite the neighbors in a common cause, I published an appeal: “Dear residents of the house! Spring is outside - the time when we carry out general cleaning in the apartment. So why not tidy up the porch? Finally, wash the dusty windows, the dirty walls of the elevator. At least wash the floor at the door to your apartment! I propose to collectively restore cleanliness and order this Sunday! ". I hung the printed announcements in the most prominent places: at the entrance, next to the meeting notice, and on the ground floor, right between the two lifts.

I also did not wait for a convenient moment to meet Petr Ivanovich - I just called apartment number 13 and froze in anticipation. I expected to see a hunched over and dissatisfied pensioner, but a quite good-natured man appeared in front of me, who, without asking who had come and why, opened the door and prepared to listen to me.

I started with the main thing: I told how in the morning the elevator got stuck again and two men, trapped, frantically banging on the door somewhere between the floors. In response, Pyotr Ivanovich sadly said that there was nothing to hope for, replacing elevators was an expensive pleasure. It would be possible to solve the problem during a major overhaul, but before 2032 we will not see it.

In the course of the conversation, the leader went further and further into reasoning about painful things: I was overwhelmed by a whirlwind of stories about fraud on the part of the management company, illegal additional charges in receipts and obscene old sewers. I nodded with interest, listened and tried to delve into the problems that I had never suspected before, at the same time amazed at how Pyotr Ivanovich found the strength to check every comma in bills, send hundreds of claims to management companies and chase repairmen shirking from work. It seemed that the heads of the housing department, the REU and other organizations themselves were keeping pace with him. “Although I did not graduate from the construction institute, I worked as the head of the construction department, which was building housing from the Frunze plant. I am familiar with all the norms, delved into all the issues, studied everything, ”he explained to me his meticulousness.

In the course of communication, I received answers to many questions - for example, I understood why it was so dirty in the entrance. It turned out that there are cleaners in the house, but they go to work, if they are lucky, once a month - a small salary does not dispose to an active war for cleanliness. Windows are washed only twice a year - in spring and autumn, but in May of this year, the tenants did not wait for wet cleaning.

Encouraged by the story and activity of Pyotr Ivanovich, I shared with him the idea of a subbotnik and offered to join. To my surprise, I was refused. “And so much work. And not so long ago, on the territory behind the house, where cars are parked, garbage was collected, ”my new acquaintance explained and disappeared behind the door.

Day three: have patience

Today the neighbors came to me themselves - early in the morning there was a knock on the door. Usually I do not go out to people whom I do not expect to visit, especially if I am not ready to meet - there is a mess on my head, one eye is painted, the other is not - but the rule “to be friendly to neighbors and provide them with all possible help” could not be violated ... I opened the door and found two neighbors from my floor on the landing, who were vigorously discussing something. Turning to me, they explained that the home phone was not working - apparently, due to some problems with the operator. I threw up my hands, explaining that I only use mobile communications, and wished me luck in finding and eliminating the cause of the problems.

Leaving the apartment a couple of hours later, I found one of the neighbors at the same place and politely asked if the phone was working, but did not receive an intelligible answer - the man began to mutter something incoherent. I nodded sympathetically and hurried to retreat: I had to see if anyone had joined the cleanup I had planned. There was silence on all twelve floors. Someone tore off the notice on the board at the entrance. I tried to call for participation at least the girl I met at the entrance, but she only greeted gloomily and, shaking her green hair, disappeared outside the door of the apartment. Despair ripened within. Is it really hopeless?

Day four: catch a helping hand

It was the fourth day of the experiment, and relations with neighbors were still poor. I, following the instructions, politely greeted everyone I met, but in return I received either a formal greeting on the run, or a demonstration of an obvious unwillingness to communicate. Having met a woman in the elevator and asked which button to press, I heard the indignant "We actually live on the same floor!" When the doors opened, she flew into her apartment like a bullet, leaving me alone with my defeat.

I still had the task of transforming the house. I reasoned that since I had not managed to clean the inside of the entrance, I should try my luck outside. My eyes fell on the front garden by the front door - someone had carefully planted flowers there, but in some places it was still naked. Noticing to myself that there were a couple of pots with surplus flower seedlings at home, I wondered if my intrusion would offend the owner of the flower garden.

Feeling that someone was passing from behind, I turned around - an elderly woman was walking by. Lost in thought, she smiled. “Excuse me, do you know who is planting flowers here?” I asked carefully. “Yes, there is only one neighbor, I don’t remember from which floor,” the pensioner explained. I shared my plans to contribute to the landscaping of the site, and she smiled encouragingly: "Of course, plant!" A conversation began about neighbors and my relatives, whom my interlocutor, it turns out, knew. As a result, I found another friend - Baba Valya.

I undertook to improve the front garden on the same day, and when the water taken out of the house for irrigation ran out, I went to the neighbors. I must say that the opportunity to get help from a stranger, when he doesn't owe you anything, always seemed incredible to me, so when I knocked on the first apartment I came across, I didn't really count on anything.

From behind the door, a wary "who is there?" and after the magic word "neighbors" a young woman appeared on the doorstep. Her tone of voice changed to a friendly one, and she happily agreed to help, filling my little watering can to the brim. Imperceptibly we started talking about home gardening, and after a couple of minutes we offered to exchange a couple of varieties of violets. This was the first hint that good neighborly relations are not only in the movies.

Day five: experience the meeting for yourself

I always imagined the general meeting of tenants as a noisy crowd of formidable old women: at first they complain to each other that they were cheated on hot water again, and after a couple of minutes they begin to discuss that Katka from the fifth apartment is a drug addict and in general is still not married. Having attended my first home meeting in my life, I realized that almost all of these fantasies are real.

At the appointed time, about a dozen pensioners crowded at the entrance - given that the meeting took place at 4:45 pm on a weekday, it was intended for them. Representatives of the PRUE and the already familiar Pyotr Ivanovich were hovering around with a pile of papers. Gradually, other neighbors joined, although there were some who, by chance, passing by, strenuously pretended not to notice anything.

The role of the leader was expectedly assumed by the head of the house: he spoke loudly and enthusiastically, confidently proved his position, in some places was indignant and even raised his voice. Those present assented to him, immediately starting to discuss their own problems with each other. When the noise became impossible, Pyotr Ivanovich shouted, urging to concentrate on general issues. It happened every ten minutes. As a result, the event was very much like a battle between the head of the PRUE and the head of the house, surrounded by violent fans.

As a result, Pyotr Ivanovich still gathered the votes of the tenants on the necessary issues, inviting them to sign in a special register. But I could not achieve my goal - to call the neighbors to the cleanup next weekend now: many simply did not pay attention to me, someone silently nodded in response and was immediately distracted by personal conversations. I realized that it makes sense to talk to everyone in private and in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Day six: knock on all doors

In response to my invitation to the clean-up, she readily nodded, promising to “remove everything that gets in her way,” after which she hastily disappeared from sight. Looking after her skeptically, I decided to walk through other floors - perhaps I could find more reliable helpers. It turned out to be quite difficult: someone could not be found at home, someone, rustling with slippers, approached the peephole and silently walked back. One man, without letting him say a word, shouted that he would not buy anything and stopped responding to the knock on the door. Another came out, listened, looked like a naive first grader, and disappeared through the door. Elderly women refused, citing health problems.

After half an hour of fruitless attempts, another neighbor opened the door in front of me. I immediately recognized her as one of the most initiative participants in the past meeting of residents. My proposal caused a mixture of enthusiasm and indignation in the woman: she rushed to the window in the stairwell, pulled the handle and shared her pain - someone poured foam into the frames, and they no longer opened, and a composition of dust and dirt formed between the glasses. A neighbor recognized my idea as reasonable and promised to clean up the floor where she lives. “But I won't be in the elevator. It's scary to go there! " - she outlined the boundaries of her altruism.

Day seven: believe in people

Grabbing a bucket and detergents, I went out into the entrance alone. Every now and then people passed by: someone pretended not to notice me, someone complained about the many things to do and the lack of time.

Natalia Kaptsova

Reading time: 9 minutes

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Relationships with neighbors are different. For example, friendly (mutual help and "run for tea"), neutral (when you greet and quickly disappear) and hostile. The latter case is the most difficult and difficult to treat.

Still, peace with neighbors is real!

The main reasons for bad relations with neighbors - finding out the essence of the problem

Every family, moving into a new home, dreams - now everything will be different! No alcoholics, spy grandmothers, young "degradants", etc. And they look like they are all very nice and friendly.

A week passes - and the family understands that ideal neighbors simply do not exist. And you have to choose - the battle of the "titans" or a bad world.

Unfortunately, the first option is more "popular".

In addition to the above, there are other causes of conflicts. But you never know at all reasons - to quarrel with neighbors, if you really want to.

Rules of coexistence with neighbors - how not to spoil relations?

For life in a new home to be truly peaceful and calm, you need to remember the most important:

All people are different! Some love dogs, others love cats. Some dream of flower beds, others - of a large parking lot. Some work during the day, others at night. Etc. Be prepared to compromise if you want to be treated like a human being.
Always greet your neighbors. Even if this is the same bastard that caused you to sleep up last night.
Instill in children a culture of communication and behavior in public places : stomping and listening to music loudly after 8 in the evening is impossible (everyone wants to rest and sleep), burning tires under the neighbor's balcony is not allowed, picking flowers from a flower bed is not allowed, playing the saxophone at 3 in the morning is not allowed, etc. ...
Walk your dogs not under the windows of the house, but a little further - so as not to anger your neighbors ... And, of course, do not take them to the playground (otherwise, you are guaranteed enemies in the face of young mothers). Also wear muzzles if the dogs are large and keep them on short leashes when going downstairs (babies can get scared). If your dog likes to “yell” at every rustle on the street in the evenings, and barks from the steps on the stairs, teach her to express her emotions in a different way (this is really real). And take care of quality super soundproofing.
Keep the entrance clean - do not leave garbage near the apartment, do not smoke on the stairs, clean up after the pets, if they do not accidentally run to the street, do not take your old furniture into the staircase (you will be surprised, but no one needs it, take it out immediately!), Do not drink alcoholic drinks at the entrance (you can walk to the apartment and do it at home).
Communicate with your neighbors more often. Not to make friends, but just to understand - with whom you can communicate more closely, and from whom it is better to stay away. This will help simple questions - "where is your mail here?" etc.
When starting repairs, be as "polite" as possible ... Do not make noise on weekends, early in the morning and after 7 pm, when everyone goes to relax in front of the TV after work. If neighbors have kids, ask what time they have a nap, so that at this time they can take a break from beating old tiles or chipping walls. If there are only young mothers around you, and the sleep schedule for all toddlers is different, then you will not be able to please everyone. But on the other hand, you can afford to buy a small toy for the kids, and a box of chocolates for mothers, and apologize after the repair is completed. The neighbors will appreciate this gesture, forgive you and stop mentally cursing at every meeting. Naturally - no construction waste! Take it out immediately or leave it within your apartment.

9 ways to improve relationships or make peace with your neighbors in your house or country house

The most important advice: always put yourself in the shoes of your neighbors! This will make it easier for you to understand them and draw conclusions.

And…

Don't fall for provocations. Let them behave as they want (these are THEIR problems, not yours), and you learn to express your feelings in other ways.
Don't take aggression to heart , which sometimes splashes out on you from the neighbors. If you are guilty, correct and apologize, if you are not guilty, just ignore (the dog barks, as they say, but the caravan moves on).
Take your time to "beat the muzzle" , throw threats and fill neighboring doors with construction foam. If you want to convey something to your neighbors, do it with humor, for example, through a funny ad with a subtle hint that you are quite serious.
When starting a renovation, warn your neighbors. You can go to everyone in person, or you can write an announcement with an apology and approximate deadlines for the completion of work. But it is imperative to warn. Just to demonstrate - you don't give a damn about them.

How to get to know each other and set everyone up to be positive?

There are two options: either you go to them, or they go to you. In the first case, you go to your neighbors with "cakes" and a box of tea (alcohol is strongly discouraged), in the second - they go to your housewarming party by invitations scattered in mailboxes.
How to unite neighbors? Surely there are problems in your yard or at home (holes on the roads, lack of amenities on the playground, "parties" of homeless people and crazy youth in the sandbox, creepy walls at the entrance, etc.). You can become the initiator of the solution of one of the problems by common forces - so you and yourself in the right light "give" and your neighbors will immediately see in all its glory. After solving the problem (they independently repaired the hole that interfered with the cars, made benches or lids with locks on the sandboxes, organized a clean-up day, painted the walls in the entrance, etc.), you can also have a picnic right in the yard.
Get ready to help your neighbors , if they ask for help, or do not ask, but clearly need it: push the car, give a stepladder or a puncher for a day, carry the chair to the apartment, borrow salt, etc.
If the light bulb in the stairwell burns out, do not wait for the housing office to change it. Change it yourself (it's not difficult and not expensive). Or you can chip in with your neighbors and buy energy-saving light bulbs on all landings.
Participate in "house affairs". In meetings, discussing issues, donating money for certain general needs, etc. Living apart is great, but if you are a “sociopath”, do not expect good relations from your neighbors.
If you are forced to leave a large-sized item on the stairs (for example, you bought furniture, but the old one was promised to be taken to the country house on Saturday, and both "sets" do not fit in the apartment), then post a note of apology for temporary inconvenience ... And don't forget to keep your promise "they'll pick you up on Saturday."
Never discuss with some neighbors - others. Washing the bones does not benefit the general atmosphere of the entrance (house). If you have complaints, express them specifically to the person to whom they are addressed, and not to all neighbors in secret through gnashing of teeth.
Never open up at once in front of everyone wide open. Some will consider it a great stupidity, others will laugh, others will use it against you. And only 1 out of 4 will love you for it to the core. Leave all the ins and outs about yourself at home.
Try with your neighbors, if not be friends, then at least stay in normal relations. You never know at what moment the neighbor's help may be needed (do not enter the entrance or the apartment, look after housing or animals, urgently leave the child in a force majeure situation, call for help in case of a robbery, ask for a duplicate key if it is lost, etc.) ...

Alcoholics, brawlers with an unbalanced psyche, bulls, etc. Do not enter into any conversations with these people.. If you have any problems, communicate through the district police officer.

Friendship with neighbors - it really exists. Of course, no one forces you to bake pies and invite everyone, including that alcoholic from the 5th apartment, but in our turbulent times it is still better to be attentive to each other.

If the neighbors did not suit you at all, show at least respect for them .

And be polite! Politeness - it takes the city.

Have you had similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!

Conflicts

Ilya Belomytsev

Consulting Psychologist

In order to start communication, you need an adequate pretext. A simple and effective recipe: "do you have any salt?" - anything that concerns your common field in which you live together. Even if the neighbor is not very talkative, he will still answer something. And after that you can continue on your own - tell something about yourself, any story or fact: “but we have no water for the third day”, “thanks for the salt, otherwise mine crumbled from the earthquake”. It's not a fact that the conversation will start, but the next time the person is more likely to be in the mood to communicate with you. Because you applied the main rule of any communication - you received something from him, and something was given to him in return. And of course, don't forget to smile. It is more difficult if you have communicated before, but your relationship is not very good.

"Conflicts are open and closed - you need to determine which of the cases is yours"

A closed conflict is usually called its initial stage - for example, young guys from the next apartment periodically throw parties and interfere with sleep. It's getting harder and harder to fall asleep, but you're not ready to deal with them just yet. A closed conflict can last for a long time and never develop into an open one.

With an open one, everything is easier - it can begin, for example, with the first sounds of a drill, bypassing the stage of a closed conflict. In an open conflict, a person expresses everything he feels - swears, shouts, offends.

There are a couple of recipes for restoring the world for each stage. In a closed conflict, until you tell your neighbor what he is doing wrong, this is only your problem. Many neighbors are not aware that they are interfering with someone. The trick is that the sooner you make this problem common, the more likely you are not to go into open conflict and deal with your emotions. The neighbor can be made clear that you both have a problem. In doing so, you can stay sweet and suggest your own ways of resolving.

If you decide to settle an open conflict, you should transfer communication with your neighbor from the plane of emotions to the plane of constructive conversation. How to do it? Do not succumb to provocations, clearly formulate your wishes and understand the point of view of your opponent. When your message is not "destroy" but "the common good" - the chances of resolving the conflict increase dramatically.