Scientists say over-sensitivity is a matter of genes, not personality. Close to heart
When the words " hypersensitivity», « sensitive person", And even the term that has already become commonplace sounds - VChL (highly sensitive people), then it becomes immediately clear - we are talking about something that goes beyond the average, a certain statistical majority.
Many, having heard “increased sensitivity” and “sensitive person”, imagine a kind of muslin lady, regardless of the real sex, which faints “from an excess of feelings” a little.
Someone believes that all this is a whim, and it’s enough to “get together”, “stop wrapping yourself up,” and immediately this sensitivity will pass. All this, they say, from spoiling.
Others, of whom a minority, believe that increased sensitivity is a gift, and a sensitive person is most likely talented and inclined to creativity.
Let’s try to figure out what VLF really is, and, most importantly, how to live with it among those whose sensitivity level is mostly lower.
What is hypersensitivity and who are VChL?
Obviously, if there is an increased sensitivity, there is also a certain average, we can say - a statistical majority, something that many are accustomed to starting from, as from the norm.
Sensitivity in general is the ability of the human nervous system to perceive and respond to various stimuli coming from outside. If you do not delve into the structure of the nervous system and physics, then in general we can say that human sensitivity exists within certain limits.
For example, a person’s hearing recognizes sounds in the range of 20 - 20,000 hertz, or a person’s light sensitivity is in the range of 380 - 760 nm, but everything that is inside these frames has very individual shades.
For example, to one person the conversation of the neighbors behind the wall will seem like a light, barely noticeable noise. The other will not hear anything at all. To the third - every word will be heard. So it can be with color and with other sensations - taste, smells, touch. So it can be with a sensation of pain - any doctor will tell you that the pain threshold in a person is individual.
At the same time, researchers note that the world's population is about 15% - VChL, highly sensitive people. The rest have the same average sensitivity, which is usually perceived as the norm. Rarely, there are cases of complete or partial loss of sensitivity, which are mainly associated with diseases of the central nervous system or with severe psychological shocks.
Why is that? Here, scientists so far agree that increased sensitivity is an innate characteristic. How much hereditary factors determine it is difficult to say, because in some cases one can observe the appearance of children with high sensitivity in the family of parents with average indicators.
True, no one will say for sure whether even one of the parents of the child really lacked hypersensitivity, or whether he simply actively suppressed it and skillfully hid it. There are not so many studies on this subject yet, but so far several obvious signs of VChF can be identified.
Signs of VChL
Physical
This is the case when the conversation of the neighbors behind the wall seems loud and distinct to you, unlike the others. You are annoyed by pungent odors, too bright light, you are susceptible to light touches, distinguish the slightest shades of taste, temperature, your body responds quite noticeably to many interventions - medications, caffeine, other psychoactive and stimulating substances, you have a reduced pain threshold (pain comes earlier , from less noticeable incentives than for most).
Emotional
You have an increased sense of empathy, you are quite easily imbued with the situation of another person and easily “pick up” his emotions, you can easily feel the condition of the people around you, sometimes - regardless of your desire, you easily feel the atmosphere of some place, you are more susceptible to art, you are able to experience strong emotions from the "little things."
Intelligent
You carefully think over and weigh your words, any incoming information, you tend to reflect on it, you have increased attention to details, nuances (for example, you notice grammatical errors and typos, are susceptible to all kinds of sloppiness, carelessness in the environment that others may not notice for a long time at all), you are able to see many meanings in any external object.
This division, of course, is conditional - it is impossible to disassemble a person as a mechanism into parts, therefore, of course, everything is connected. But a sensitive person is not necessarily the one who has all his senses at the limit.
Say, he may have very high auditory and visual sensitivity, while he may exhibit a normal pain threshold or, say, not show high sensitivity with respect to drugs. Or, for example, a person has high empathy, but he is not inclined to go deep into intellectual meanings.
Therefore, now we’ll talk about the nuances of high sensitivity, touch upon common myths about sensitivity, talk about how this is related to other aspects of a person’s psychological characteristics - for example, introversion / extraversion, psychotype, temperament, degree of neuroticism, and can whether it be a symptom of some other condition, illness.
Sensitive person: a special psychological characteristic
In general, hypersensitivity is not an inborn characteristic of a person, but a consequence of certain conditions of the body. For example, sensitivity can increase in the presence of chronic lack of sleep, constant fatigue, severe stress (as, however, a partial decrease in sensitivity can also be a reaction to stress, as if “freezing” in the presence of very strong and indigestible feelings).
Hypersensitivity may accompany some mental disorders and somatic diseases, especially those associated with the central nervous system. But this mention is only so that you can decide for yourself whether your characteristic is permanent or temporary. Here we will talk mainly about those whose hypersensitivity is constant, you yourself remember this all your life, and you have not observed any other serious deviations in the field of health.
So far, I have not come across studies in which it would be clearly possible to trace which psychotypes more often correlate with increased sensitivity. However, our own practice gives enough reason to assert: hypersensitivity is neither the fifth type of temperament, nor any special psychotype; VChL are found among representatives of different temperaments and psychotypes.
It can be said that some psychotypes appear among HFM more often than others, but a clear correlation has not yet been traced. That is, a sensitive person can be born that way with any other character traits.
Many suggest that VChL are more likely to be introversion. This is understandable logically: a sensitive person needs more time to recover from contact with the outside world, because external stimuli act on him more than others, and he needs to disconnect from strong stimulation more often.
But I also met extroverts among VChL. Yes, such a person also needed to retire from time to time, to have time to recover, but the focus of attention of such a person was still directed to the outside world, and not to the inner one, like introverts.
With temperament, too, it is not possible to establish a clear connection. It would be logical to assume that people with fast excitement and slow inhibition are more consistent with RFL, in other words, they are easy to start, but difficult to calm down (which are melancholy), but it is more like speculation about what a sensitive person should be, or It could be in the opinion of the average majority, and not on reality.
And the logic can be completely different. Sometimes hypersensitivity fits quite well, say, in phlegmatic, which in appearance does not look like a sensitive person at all. However, the phlegmatic temperament creates good protection for the carrier of delicate sensitivities, and it even blooms inside it with a magnificent color, since outwardly it threatens little.
In general, here we can say that increased sensitivity is not directly related to specific features of the psychotype, temperament, or focus of attention, it exists as a separate psychophysiological characteristic embedded in other personality parameters.
VChL: thinking and interpretation
But a person does not just feel feelings, he also interprets them. For example, the fact that he reacts more strongly to people around and their condition, needs more rest from this stimulation, he can interpret in different ways.
He can calmly say to himself: “Yes, for me today it’s too much, I want to stay in silence” - and calmly retire. Or he can start to wind up himself in the spirit of "all people are like people, but I'm not like that, probably something is wrong with me, since everything starts to annoy me so quickly ...."
Often, VChL are confused with people who are prone to anxiety, suspiciousness and thinking out on this basis for others. But heightened sensitivity and anxiety, reinforced by fantasies, are two different things.
A sensitive person will be able to grasp the real state of another person - for example, he will be able to feel that his boss has already entered the office irritated and tense, and the further separation of employees only stemmed from his initial state. Therefore, a sensitive person is unlikely to attribute this to his own account. However, he may be hurt for another reason - too loud, too bright, too much.
But an anxious person just might not feel the real state of his superiors, he is mainly occupied with his experiences, and therefore he will easily attribute the separation to himself, and then he will worry for days about his allegedly worthlessness and unluckiness.
It is also easy to confuse people who know how to demonstrate their feelings loudly and vividly (it is not at all necessary that the feelings are sincere, and that they even exist) with VChL. But demonstration and real feeling are very different things. VChL just do not rush so quickly and especially so loudly share their feelings: the demonstration attracts attention even more, forces to digest a lot more external stimuli and further exacerbates the fatigue from their own reactions.
And here it’s very logical to mention a few common myths about sensitivity.
VChL: myths and reality
Myth: sensitive person is weak
In fact, rather the opposite. Among them, there are many generally strong people who possess their feelings much better sometimes than the representatives of the average majority.
Why? Yes, because from childhood such a child understands that he is different from others, that his feelings are sometimes not taken seriously by others. Parents and other adults are not always ready to take feelings (and even more so - so subtle!) Into account and sometimes even declare them abnormal.
Naturally, in response to this, the child develops protection. And one of them is the formation of the ability to track and control your emotions. Yes, sometimes this leads to sad options - a habit is formed to suppress one’s feelings, low self-esteem, a feeling of constant incomprehensibility and rejection.
But increased sensitivity gives its bonus, especially with high intelligence: after all, a mass of feelings inaccessible to others is a mass of information, it is a more complete and rich knowledge of the world, it is a more subtle insight into the essence of human motives and relationships, and as a result - a more effective strategy of action, and in the long term - a more comfortable place in life.
In general, HFM are less characteristic of reckless acts “on emotions”, they are more likely to think about the nuances of their reactions and behavior, they can more effectively cope with difficult life situations, if only because life taught them how to cope with their feelings very early less sensitive world.
Myth: a sensitive person is open, kind and therefore very vulnerable.
This is also from the realm of fantasy. VChL are most often inclined to protect their feelings from others, at least experience teaches them. Not every closed person belongs to the category of VChL, but we can say that among the VChL those who are considered to be closed are many. And, especially having experience of different perceptions of themselves, VChL are very selective in communication.
The ability to empathy, which, of course, is in large part among VChL - not a reason for kindness and, especially, naivety. The experience of subtle feeling can be applied in different ways, but think about it: subtle sensitivity involves the sensation of all spectra.
And this means that a sensitive person feels not only wonderful feelings of positive people. In principle, they are not enough in the world, to say the least. And it turns out that the main content of empathy is very different, and not always a positive state of people.
What conclusions can the RFL draw from this? - yes any. You can find yourself in a helping profession, to build on this empathy, to give it a place. And you can hate the whole human race for the constant violation of borders and for the very joyless inner content. And for example, to become a charming villain such as Hannibal Lecter, who, in addition to killing, enjoys delicate dishes from their liver or brain, decorates the house with exquisite paintings and listens to rare performances of the opera.
Therefore, in terms of moral guidelines, VChL can be at any pole of society, and sensitivity will only tell their actions certain shades, but it does not limit their choice in terms of their own ethics.
Myth: sensitive people - talented and smart.
This is partly true, of course, because hypersensitivity in itself is an indication for certain types of activity in which it is needed - many areas of art and science (especially where intuition matters), generally the creative environment, helping professions - psychologists, doctors, social workers.
But at the same time, increased sensitivity also imposes certain limitations - for example, a sensitive person cannot always work in those conditions in which the majority can work. And sometimes this becomes an obstacle to career development in a standard way accepted in society and a particular profession.
I knew people who had increased sensitivity combined with low intelligence. This, perhaps, is the most difficult of all VChL, because there is not enough resource to realize its uniqueness, while they also do not always succeed in fully integrating into the world of ordinary people.
To summarize, we can say that VChL are just people with a separate characteristic, which is combined with different personality characteristics. Of course, increased sensitivity, to one degree or another, leaves its mark on the formation of a psychotype, on interaction with temperament, and on behavioral habits.
I periodically experience “psychological hunger” when the brain requires reading some kind of psychological literature. Recently, I again had such a crisis :) And I started to walk around the relevant sites. I came across one of the western, dedicated to psychology. An article about highly sensitive people caught my attention there. I began to read it and realized that it was very, very close to me. All my life I thought that this sensitivity is simply the result of a nervous breakdown. But no! :) For such loonies like me, they came up with the name - "highy sensitive".
Gifts, the positive side:
1.Sensitivity to details
One of the most noticeable abilities of highly sensitive people is the wealth of their sensory perception of the world. The smallest details of the texture in clothes, the ingredients in cooking, the sounds of music or even traffic or human conversation, smells and colors - all these highly sensitive people feel more strongly than other people.
From time to time I get stuck in different shades of color :) I like dark blue, sometimes swampy, or sea-green :) It’s better not to start talking about music. In my opinion, this is the most ingenious invention of the human mind and heart! Music can convey everything - all emotions and experiences! But by the way, not everyone knows how to do it. It happens that a singer will go on stage, sing a song, sing well, and you will feel neither warm nor cold from his performance, for he went out and simply worked the number, got into all the notes, did not fake, smiled. And it happens, she fakes it, but she sings so that for no reason you start crying. With studio recordings the same thing. Sometimes you listen to the original and the cover, and the cover touches much more than the original, but it happens the other way around :)
2. The semantic nuances
Highly sensitive people also have the ability to understand the subtle nuances of things, they are more cautious in actions and more careful in taking into account various options and possible consequences.
When I select various options for "what to do," the scenarios of consequences scroll in my head, both for 5 minutes ahead and 50 years.
3. Emotional Awareness
Such people are more aware than others of their internal state. And this creates the basis for a richer and deeper work as writers, musicians, actors and other creative professions.
A strong reaction to pain, discomfort and exercise may mean that such people at least have the potential to take more care of their own health.
I try to periodically explain to other people why something is happening to me. And it turns out to be so hard!
4. Creativity
Psychologist Elaine Aaron, author of The Highly Sensitive Man, writes that about 20% of people are highly sensitive, and 70% of these twenty are introverts, which contributes to creativity. Many great actors are quite shy in life.
That's about the introvert / extrovert - I don’t know. Of course, I don’t get stuck in a corner, and if I see that there is someone to talk with, I will do it quite actively, but I won’t open my soul to everyone, because practice shows that people are absorbed most of the time and are not interested in someone else’s soul. :) But to re-create is always welcome :)))
5. Deep empathic understanding
High sensitivity to the emotions of other people can be a powerful tool for all specialists whose work is directly related to people (managers, personnel managers, teachers, psychologists, psychotherapists, etc.).
In general, empathic understanding is not the result of intellectual effort. In fact, this is the ability to "get into someone else's skin." Many experts consider empathy a congenital property that is genetically determined. The life experience of an individual can only strengthen or weaken it. Empathy depends on the availability and richness of life experience, the accuracy of perception, the ability to tune in, listening to the interlocutor, on the same emotional wave with him.
CursesThe negative side:
1. Easily overwhelmed with feelings
The biggest problem of highly sensitive people is vulnerability in terms of sensory and emotional overflow. The collection and processing of such a large amount of information from the external and internal world can sometimes become excessive and result in pain, mental exhaustion, stress, anxiety and other similar reactions.
Well, I often have a consequence of 4 points (perfectionism)
2. Affected by other people's feelings
The other side of sensitivity is responding to the emotions and thoughts of others. Being close to evil people, for example, can cause severe stress in highly sensitive people.
This is truly a “curse”! If I start to communicate quite closely with a person and open up to him, I automatically begin to read and partially take away his mood. It happens, like I got up from that foot, everything is fine, but I talked with someone who has a bad mood and that's it - my mood is also spoiled!
3. The need for a lot of time and a huge space for yourself.
Such people sometimes take time to “retreat” and “emotionally recover,” even if this is not always good for their goals or personal growth.
This is what I’m doing now :) "Emotional recovery". And about space - in the conditions of the capital, this is unrealistic :)
4. Unhealthy perfectionism
Thoughtfulness and analysis lead to unhealthy perfectionism or stressful reactions on various occasions that are perceived to be "excessive" or "wrong."
I try to fight him. Sometimes it even turns out.
5. Life out of sync with our culture
Modern culture dictates to us that it’s normal when you are an extrovert, sociable and friendly, but not at all a highly sensitive introvert.
Who can be called a highly sensitive person?
Joe Capriotti:
According to research by Elaine Ayron, a psychologist, author of The Supersensitive Nature. How to succeed in a crazy world ”, about 15–20% of us (men and women are roughly equal) have a finely tuned, especially sensitive central nervous system from birth. We are distinguished not only by emotional reactions, such as increased empathy, but also by many physiological characteristics.
Is there a diagnosis in medicine like hypersensitivity?
D.K .:
The scientific name of this phenomenon is increased sensory sensitivity, it is congenital and genetically determined, but this is not a medical diagnosis. A highly sensitive nervous system can be compared to any other human trait (for example, blue eyes or blond hair). These features are in no way dependent on our will and environmental influences.
How to understand whether you are a highly sensitive person?
D.K .:
Are you sensitive to loud noises, bright lights, pungent odors? Inclined to think over new information as carefully as possible before replying? Are you experiencing emotions very deeply? Do you have hypersensitivity to alcohol, caffeine, medications, pain, hunger? If you answered these questions in the affirmative, it is likely that you can be attributed to this category of people. If you are not sure, you can go through a special test.
How many such people in the world? How common are hypersensitivity?
D.K .:
According to rough estimates, there are about 1.3 billion hypersensitive people in the world, but most likely most of them do not know about it. Almost every one of us has a relative, friend or colleague, characterized by increased sensitivity.
Suppose I learned that I belong to this category. I don’t know what to think!
D.K .:
This means that you are an unusual person born with such a feature! It is believed that increased sensitivity has developed during evolution as a survival strategy. It is found in more than 100 different species. In a sense, it can be said that 20% of people with high sensitivity contribute to a balanced society in which 80% of people have ordinary sensitivity.
Is it possible to recover from increased sensory sensitivity?
D.K .:
There is no need to try to be “cured” of this natural innate feature. But still, some people take medication to dull their senses and make it easier to fit into society.
Are there any techniques that make life easier for such people?
D.K .:
The main difficulty faced by people with a sensitive nervous system is the tendency to overexcitation from the abundance of irritants around. At school age, it is easier for them to learn when there is nothing superfluous in the classroom, it is also important for them to give extra time to fully absorb new information.
Adults need to set their own schedule so that hard work in conditions of abundance of external stimuli alternates with rest, which will help restore strength. In general, it is important to be able to rest and relax - reading, music, and meditation can help.
What literature on hypersensitivity can you recommend?
D.K .:
In addition to the book Elaine Ayron mentioned above, it is also useful to read her book “The Oversensitive Child”.
“You are too sensitive! You react too much to everything! ”- if you have heard such words addressed to you, your interlocutors may be right, and you really are not like other people. You belong to highly sensitive people - to 15-20% of the population who have a very finely tuned nervous system. I also feel keenly and lead the first Russian-language podcast about this phenomenon.
According to the theory of the founders of highly sensitive people by the American psychologist Elaine Aron, sensitive people analyze information more deeply. They have a more active islet of the brain, where all information about the environment and the internal state of a person is synthesized. They have increased empathy due to a greater number of mirror neurons - brain cells that help us understand the experiences of another person, for example, cry when watching a movie if the protagonist is ill. They are more sensitive to nuances, notice details better and are able to catch the slightest changes in the environment.
Highly sensitive people are more susceptible to noise, lighting, smells - for example, sitting next to a person who smoked a cigarette ten minutes ago, a sensitive person may feel as if they had put him in a smoking room. A large number of people tire them, although not all highly sensitive people are introverts.
It is important to understand that hypersensitivity is not a disease or a sign of a bad nature, but a set of inherited genes that are designed to help the survival of the whole species. For example, the most sensitive horses run along the edges of the herd and, as soon as they notice the danger, change their behavior, thereby warning the entire herd about it. That is, high sensitivity is a useful signaling tool. Problems arise if we ignore these signals.
Do not ignore sensitivity
From childhood, from well-intentioned ones, they often inspire us that we should not take everything so close to our hearts. As a result, highly sensitive people begin to believe that something is wrong with them, and try to suppress their sensitivity. This is especially common with men. Despite the fact that high sensitivity is equally found among men and women, society sensitivity in men does not encourage. Having listened to the suggestions “don’t howl, you are a man!” In childhood, the boy grows up, embarrassed by his sensitivity, and puts on a mask of hypermasculinity or drowns out sensitivity with alcohol and an unhealthy lifestyle.
Another unsuccessful adaptation strategy is avoidance. Sensitive people often try to avoid conflicts or potentially hyper-stimulating situations, usually at the expense of their own psychological boundaries. For this reason, they are often considered weak or stupid - although in fact these people simply analyze for a long time before taking any action and do everything to not upset others - because they so acutely feel their experiences.
Elaine Aron showed that highly sensitive people succeed more than others in situations where their sensitivity is respected and supported, and in teams with a positive emotional background, but show worse results if their sensitivity was ignored, or in companies where a negative emotional environment prevails. If in childhood parents allowed the sensitivity of the child to simply be, then, as a rule, such a person achieves a lot, as he understands the emotions of other people and understands what approach is needed to them.
From survival to prosperity
If you recognize yourself in this description, congratulate yourself: you survived and adapted, not knowing anything about your sensitivity! Now is the time to move from survival to prosperity and learn to truly use your gift. I suggest six simple strategies for how to do this.
1. First of all, understand and accept that everything is fine with you.
There are 1.4 billion people around the world like you. Nature does not hold anything superfluous, and if sensitivity continues to be transmitted from generation to generation in people and animals, then it is needed. Allow yourself to be hypersensitive, the world needs your gift.
2. Realize that most people perceive the world differently than you.
80% of humanity sincerely does not understand why you are haunted by the smell of food in the workplace, loud music or air conditioning, and may not even notice what affects your well-being and productivity. Colleagues may like light stimulation in the form of constant music, without which their nervous system hibernates. Explaining what sensitivity is to someone who does not have it is like trying to explain to a blind person what color is.
So learn to speak their language.
If you need time to come to your senses after the meeting, do not say that you are tired of the abundance of information - say that you are going to write down thoughts that came from the meeting. Or joke that you need to warm yourself with a cup of tea after a cool conversation with a client. People are afraid of the incomprehensible, so more often use humor and do not focus on sensitivity: no one is obliged to treat you differently, simply because you are a sensitive person.
3. Avoid negative people and companies.
Sensitive people are very influenced by the mood of others, and they tend to take on other people's problems. If you are constantly dealing with negatively charged people, such communication will deplete you much more than an ordinary person. If your work is constantly criticized, blamed, offended, such a team is contraindicated to you. Look for a more professional company - there are many.
4. Give yourself time to think and relax.
Accept the fact that you need more time to make decisions (after all, your brain processes more information) and rest than others so that the nervous system has time to recover. Do not plan multiple meetings in a row. It is ideal to alternate communication and work alone. Organize your schedule so that you can be several times a day without external stimulation - sit in a quiet room, and it is better to take a walk in the park. Ideally, you need to build your own schedule, let it become your work priority. Many highly sensitive people choose to start their own business, just to be able to control their daily routine.
5. Be sure to regularly visit nature
Think about when you felt full of energy, joyful, with the desire to do something right? I bet that it was connected with being in nature. As in Avatar, sensitive people derive strength from nature. Try to make weekly city trips a part of your routine. Plant many plants in the office and at home.
6. Feed your soul.
Highly sensitive people are not interested in just making money, it is important for them to be part of something more. If your work is routine and just allows you to pay bills, get yourself a hobby that helps change the world for the better. You can go somewhere volunteer. Many sensitive people are fond of art and literature or work in the creative field. It is important to stop repeating the beliefs of others that "all this is nonsense, since it does not bring money," and find time for actions that nourish your soul.
how have a business from highly sensitive man
Despite their poor reputation, sensitive people can be great workers and friends. They are very responsible, independent, attentive to details, they always think about how the other person feels.
When dealing with highly sensitive people, keep in mind that they can react to many things that do not cause you any reaction. Accept that it’s not their fantasies, but that they really feel the world. They are not necessarily "crybaby", but they can cry, it would seem, out of the blue.
Sensitive people get tired quickly if they bring down a ton of information at once, so give them time to “digest” it. If one of your subordinates constantly asks for permission to work from home or spends more time outside the desktop than behind him, it is possible that he does not take time off from work, but simply is a highly sensitive person and thus tries to find a balance.
If your child is hypersensitive, do not judge his sensitivity, but help to learn how to deal with emotions and express them in a constructive way - for example, through drawing or dancing. A strict regime and psychological boundaries will also greatly help in this. Make sure that your hypersensitive child does not constantly have a computer turned on - he needs rest, even if he still does not understand this. Keep in mind that the situation in the family and at school has a very strong emotional impact on the sensitive child. So, if your child suddenly began to get too tired or naughty, find out what is happening in his environment - perhaps he “picked up” the emotional state from his peers.
Highly sensitive people, whose childhood was normal, are no different from others, and even, according to research, a little happier than others. So take care of your hypersensitive child or your inner child if you yourself are a highly sensitive person - and you will be the happiest people!
You can take the sensitivity test developed by Elaine Aron for free on my website.
Editorial opinion may not reflect the views of the author.
In case of health problems do not self-medicate, consult your doctor.
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Do you care about the little things more than others? Do you always think about how the people around you feel? Do you prefer a quiet and peaceful environment?
If all of the above is about you, you are very sensitive. This character trait was first explored in the early 1990s. It is believed that every fifth person in the world is hypersensitive. There are many books dedicated to this topic. One of them describes habits of highly sensitive people. Find out if you have this character trait.
How highly sensitive people behave
Excessive sensitivity - not a bad trait at all. Such people are very kind in nature and will never refuse in trouble. They will climb out of your skin to help you solve your problems. So be a little softer with them. Try not to touch them and are so aggravated.
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