Text: Ksenia Slyusarenko. The ideal man: how to understand that he suits you
Scientists claim that only a few seconds are enough to understand whether a person is suitable for us as a sexual partner or not. The decision is made subconsciously, and more explicit body signals help to find out about it.
How to find out what affects the perception of attractiveness in general, says our consultant - psychologist Yevgeny Idzikovsky.
We are far from always able to understand our attitude towards a person, therefore it is worth paying attention to the signals of our own body - it never lies.
Why is smell so important to us?
Each person has a special individual smell. It is he who largely determines our likes and dislikes. Moreover, as regards the sexual attractiveness of the partner, the recognition of the “suitable” aroma occurs at the subconscious level, in most cases we do not even monitor this process.
A distinct interest in a specific human smell is provided by the characteristics of our hormonal and immune systems. Research by the Swiss scientist Klaus Vedekind back in the mid-90s showed that women like men whose immune system does not match their own as much as possible. At the same time, the chosen ones can radically differ in appearance, physical indicators and level of intelligence. In the case of the coincidence of the immune systems of both subjects, they do not feel attraction to each other, since they perceive the partner as a relative - brother, sister, etc.
Output: the smell is important in terms of attractiveness, but it is important to understand that we are talking about the natural aroma of the body - without perfume, deodorant, a cable from cigarettes, etc.
What body language can say
Even if a person is silent, his posture can say a lot about his attitude to the chosen one. Closed positions (arms crossed on the chest or in pockets, shoulders lowered and folded, legs closed) indicate a lack of interest. But the open postures (the body and feet are turned towards the opposite, the palms are looking up, the arms and legs are not crossed) are vivid evidence that all the attention of a person is focused on the interlocutor.
By the way, “open” people are much more attractive in the eyes of others, they cause more interest.
Output: Use knowledge of body language to demonstrate your passion or to find out how your partner is treating you.
Face: the laws of attractiveness
Most of us like the same type of face, but its completely different features are of interest. Scientists believe that the roots of this phenomenon lie in psychology.
So, in childhood, we all experienced vivid emotions when communicating with different people. And when we meet a person in adulthood who resembles them in emotional state, we quickly become sympathetic to him. Because we know that contact with such people had a strong emotional resonance for us, and we want to experience it again.
Moreover, even if the experience was negative, we still feel attracted to the person. This is due to the subconscious desire to correct the situation, to achieve recognition, approval, love.
Output: it is important for us not so much the face of the partner as the emotions that are associated with it.
How to understand what partner you like
Sometimes our body signals that in front of us is a suitable partner. How to recognize these signs?
Men
You mirror the girl’s gestures, point the socks of your shoes in her direction, and when leaning, lean forward. You begin to correct hair and clothes, your voice becomes higher than usual, and the pupils dilate.
Women
You touch the hairstyle or wrap a lock of hair on your finger, bite your lip, show naked wrists. Your voice is getting lower. You repeat the interlocutor’s gestures, hold a longer eye contact, during communication, turn to him with your whole body.
As my grandmother says: “Everything is good, but something is bad”. You seemed to be together, he seemed to miss, didn’t even forget to grab your favorite candies along the way (a trifle, but nice), but the question arises in his head: “Do I need it?” The thing is that this way the subconscious sends signals: run, Zoe, run. Because in the heat of passion, we often miss important details of the life and worldview of the person who is near by our eyes and ears. But our subconscious is not so frivolous, you cannot fool him with sweets, it fixes everything. So, turn on the brain and understand.
He behaves differently in the company of friends
You jokingly diagnosed schizophrenia when you first saw him in the company of friends. He suddenly changed dramatically and from a good guy with excellent manners turned into something from another planet. “Come on, it happens to everyone,” you thought, and closed your eyes. But the farther, the worse. Now he lets out vulgar jokes addressed to you and tells everyone about something very personal that you decided to entrust only to him. Urgent run!
He doesn't like your job or hobby.
At first he jokingly said that you might need to change your profession, and this coral-colored sweater that you knitted yourself, his professional granny would not have appreciated. Then he began to compare your work with his own: still to sit in the office - not to carry bricks and conclude important contracts. Are you sure that in principle you have something to talk about in this case?
He constantly comes up with stupid excuses
He didn’t call, although he promised, canceled the meeting several times, was late for a date again (almost an hour). And he constantly corresponded with someone on your stupid (but already forced) question: “Who writes to you there?” Hides the phone and answers: “Yes, mom doesn’t understand what she wants from me, wait a second”.
He envies you
Only an envious boyfriend can be worse than an envious girlfriend. It annoys him that you are pleased with your work and friends, that next week you go on a business trip to Paristhat you won a grant for teaching a foreign language and that you always have a happy look. He only does that grumbles. Do you need a guy who does not know how to share joy with you?
He is too right
As Chekhov said, if a person does not smoke, drink or swear, you involuntarily wonder if he is a bastard? It’s good if he monitors his health, but when a man is too actively trying to agitate you in any case not to drink wine and not to eat french fries, and even controls every word you say, it makes you think ...
He reacts strangely to your friends and acquaintances.
“Who is this at all?” He asks with a face as if he hadn’t seen anything worse in life when your friends come to visit you. He takes off a cold hello and behaves disgustingly. And then he also inadvertently asks: “Are you sure you should talk to them?”
He often complains about life.
He has stupid colleagues, a close-minded boss, there is always no money, broke a pipe, the hamster died and life in general is a pain. He is constantly depressed, aching and asking you: “What should I do, cat ?!” But she does not accept your support and believes that you do not care and you do not care about him. We hope you are not going to remain his personal psychiatrist, and you have enough of your problems.
He’s never happy with how you look.
In these pants you look like his brother, and in this dress you look like his ex. So do not cut your hair, because girls should wear long hair, and burgundy lipstick - only "for girls of easy virtue." Such an idealist will remake you for himself, and then he will become bored, and he will go to look for the next victim.
He spends a lot of time in idleness.
He complains that he is very tired, although he does almost nothing. Perhaps he has not too hard work (or it does not exist at all). But he definitely has less lessons than yours. Stop nursing him and throwing everything for him.
He is trying to control you
Compatibility by date of birth allows you to find out the future in a pair. Sometimes, especially at the initial stages of a relationship, it can be difficult to understand whether the person is nearby, how his future life will turn out, and what he expects in marriage. All these questions can be answered with simple calculations.
First, take your date of birth and add up all the numbers that make up it. Bring the resulting number again, by adding its components to a unique one. Example: 09.25.1979 \u003d 2 + 5 + 0 + 9 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 9 \u003d 35 \u003d 3 + 5 \u003d 7. The number 7 is the birth code in the above example. When you calculate your birth code, you need to find out the birth number of your soulmate in the same way. As a result, you get two numbers: him and yours. You can find out compatibility by date of birth using the decryption below. In the list of pairs of numbers you need to find the numbers of your pair and find out what is intended.
1 and 1 - you are two leaders, one of you will have to give up the leadership in relations, otherwise there will be constant conflicts in the pair.
1 and 2 - your partner will fight for his dominant position in the pair. Give in to him - everything will be fine.
1 and 3 - in this case, friendship is more successful than love.
1 and 4 - the union is unsuccessful for a love relationship, it is more suitable for business cooperation.
1 and 5 - the relationship will be full of feelings and passion, but in the future you will live as if on a powder keg. Unstable communication.
1 and 6 - successful love compatibility. There will be feelings, and understanding, and trust.
1 and 7 - compatibility is almost 100%. You have common goals and outlooks on life.
1 and 8 - the union is quite harmonious, but you should not demand from each other more than you can give.
1 and 9 are a very successful pair. You are like soul mates.
2 and 2 - for love, the union is unsuccessful, only for friendship.
2 and 3 are harmonious relations. The union is very successful for marriage, establishing a common life and having children.
2 and 4 - a good future awaits the couple if the lovers learn to find compromises.
2 and 5 - in this pair, people are connected by sexual attraction and passion. For marriage and family, this ratio of characters is not suitable.
2 and 6 - stability, love, fidelity and mutual understanding. The perfect union.
2 and 7 - friendship - yes, love - no.
2 and 8 - a strong union, in which the cat will both stand mountain for each other.
2 and 9 - unsuccessful love compatibility. In this pair, only friendly communication is possible, nothing more.
3 and 3 - “husband and wife are one Satan” - refers to this pair. They are always together, they are not tired of each other's society. Over time, they become very similar to each other.
3 and 4 are opposite characters. Despite different views on life, people with such numerology can still create a strong and happy union.
3 and 5 - in this pair, lovers are well together. They will strive for a common goal and go hand in hand all their lives.
3 and 6 are a harmonious and happy couple. Compatibility in love is very successful.
3 and 7 - poor compatibility. Both love to dream and dream, and when it comes to actions, no one wants to take responsibility.
3 and 8 are a complex pair. One will strive for freedom, and the other will require submission and put pressure on his partner.
3 and 9 - great compatibility! Common goals and principles can become the key to a strong and happy life.
4 and 4 are stable relationships, but compatibility is not entirely successful. There will be a shortage of feelings in this pair.
4 and 5 - people in this pair are incompatible. One wants constant movement and change, and the other wants stability and a measured life.
4 and 6 - happiness and harmony in a pair are guaranteed.
4 and 7 - the compatibility is quite successful, both will complement each other.
4 and 8 - the union will be successful only if there is no struggle for leadership.
4 and 9 - the first stage of the relationship for this couple is very complicated. But if the lovers survive it and stay together, they will have a long and happy life.
5 and 5 - unsuccessful compatibility. Relationships cannot become lasting.
5 and 6 - the union is quite possible, but in order to achieve harmony, it will take effort.
5 and 7 - common interests unite this pair. Quite successful compatibility in love.
5 and 8 - incompatibility in the characters will not create a strong relationship.
5 and 9 - spiritually, this couple is compatible, but as for life and living together - there are few chances.
6 and 6 are too much alike people. This will cause disagreements and quarrels.
6 and 7 are the union of heart and mind. Compatibility is unlikely.
6 and 8 - people in this pair have different life priorities. One appreciates everything material, and the other appreciates everything spiritual.
6 and 9 - the compatibility of such a pair is 50%. Everything will depend on their efforts and desire to be with each other.
7 and 7 - in this union there will not be enough openness and trust in each other, but otherwise everything will be all right.
7 and 8 - short-lived union. One is thinking about career and money, the other is about family and children.
7 and 9 - this pair can be destroyed only by one thing - life.
8 and 8 - compatibility is quite successful, but problems still can not be avoided.
8 and 9 are an unsuccessful union. People in this pair will have different views on life and goals.
9 and 9 are a perfect union. Happiness, harmony and love for many years are provided.
This calculation of love compatibility will help you find out if you fit together and how successful your union is. If the pair turned out to be incompatible, you should not despair either! The main thing is mutual love, support and respect. And everything else will come over time. And so that the feelings in your couple never fade away, click on or
In contact with
Classmates
At the beginning of a relationship, you are so blinded by falling in love that you may not notice that you really do not fit together. And this is not about trifles or some incompatibilities, but about serious points that cannot be ignored. For example, the following 7 signs of a man’s behavior will not end well for you:
1. He constantly finds fault and criticizes, and rarely does (or doesn't at all) compliments. There is a huge difference between negative and positive attention. The right person will support and encourage you, give praise and encourage you. And the wrong one will most likely mark errors. But everyone wants to feel special for their partner, but unique in a good way, not bad.
2. Next to him, you become less self-confident. If you constantly check messages on the phone and are actively looking for signs that he really likes you, most likely it is not for you. Anyone who deserves your attention will see your value and will set aside time for you because he will understand how lucky he is to be with you.
In a relationship you should feel yourself, no less. Insecurity is normal at the beginning of a relationship, but over time a feeling of comfort and calm should appear.
3. You do not have trust. You cannot build a normal relationship if both of you or one of you is suspicious and constantly doubts everything. Honesty and trust are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Yes, it takes time to create a trusting atmosphere: for this you need to keep your word and be open in your feelings.
4. You already know all of his ex. Not in the sense that you know them, but in the fact that he too often recalls them and compares you. If something does not suit him, he must express it without using comparisons with his ex.
5. You feel good together only when you have fun. Of course, you should arrange your own outings, parties, etc. But this should not be your only good pastime. If you are not interested with each other when there is no alcohol and fun nearby, this is a bad sign.
6. He silently leaves the answerrolls his eyes and peas against the wall. He does not want to discuss and solve the problem, but simply chooses a defensive position.
7. He shows his feelings only when he needs something. And when then you ask him for something, then he becomes cold. In the end, you will feel used, a victim of manipulation, and that you are not appreciated. Relationships are about giving and receiving.
