Torn by contradictions: how to get away from a beloved man. How to get away from a loved one

It would seem, why leave your loved one? But what about your feelings for him? You can’t just take and cross them out, stop loving ... But not everything is so simple. You can love a person and at the same time understand that you cannot be together for one reason or another. It's very hard to feel how conflicting feelings literally tear you in half. How to get away from your beloved man? It is always very, very difficult, but nothing is impossible.

You must decide firmly

If you doubt whether it is worth leaving the man, or the relationship or you can still fix it, do not leave. Try to fix everything. Only by deciding firmly that you can’t do anything, that you, although you love each other, but because of some insurmountable contradictions or circumstances, cannot be together. Or maybe the man doesn’t love you at all, but only uses your bright feelings. Then run away from him as soon as you realize that this is indeed so.

No tantrums, calmly

There is no need to arrange tantrums and scandals - this is absolutely superfluous. Peacefully argue your decision to leave  from a beloved man. Your arguments must be weighty, otherwise your explanation of the reasons for your decision to quit a man can turn into a dispute, and from a dispute into a scandal, which you so want to avoid.

There are two options: if a man really loves you, he will let you go, but if a sense of ownership leaps up in him, then he does not love you. Having understood this, it will be easier for you to go for a divorce. And you can get a divorce, even if the spouse does not give consent to the divorce process, it just takes more time.

Cry, suffer

So you went through a divorce, but your heart breaks with longing. Cry, suffer, pay all the tears  - after that it will only become easier for you. Not immediately, gradually, but life will begin to improve. Spend more time with friends and parents, as well as other family members - brothers, sisters and so on - they will help you to bounce back.

Be open to everything new

Change work to one that will bring you more pleasure, go on vacation to a place where you have never been before, in general, be open to everything new.

When parting is inevitable, I want to make it the most painless.  If there is no serious emotional attachment between a man and a woman, separation for them becomes very easy. But this does not always happen by mutual agreement. Usually couples break up at the initiative of one of the partners. If you want to become the initiator of the break, but want to understand how beautiful it is to get away from a guy, stick to the following rules.

You together out of habit

If you have been putting off this bold step for a long time, it means that something prevents you from saying the last “I'm sorry”. Most often this is a habit. It is difficult, sometimes, to abandon what has firmly entered into life.  If you part, you’ll have to put the whole routine of life upside down. And I don’t really want to look for a new partner. In a word, laziness. But sooner or later it will be necessary to throw this suitcase without a handle, which, as they say, is inconvenient to carry, and it is a pity to throw it away.

To put a beautiful point in such a relationship, say that he is a very good person who will be lucky in love. But he himself objectively understands that your relationship has long become obsolete. Part in a friendly way: promise him all kinds of support, let him turn to himself for help, but from now on you will not have any love relations.

You together for fear of loneliness

The reason is indecently banal - against the background of a lack of decent instances of the stronger sex, this man somehow performs his functions. Friends and relatives add fuel to the fire, they say, in your years, looking for another is simply stupid. But are you really unworthy of something better? If you think so, you do not have to hold on to a man, but, finally, take care of yourself in order to become that tidbit, for which there will be a line of conquerors of female hearts.

How to part with a guy in this case? No need to explain a lot to him.   Tell me that you were doing well with him, but you have long outgrown this relationship, it's time to move on.  Ask to forget your phone number and address. If you live together, it's time to disperse in directions unknown to each other. And to all well-wishers who will say that you are making a mistake, offer to live with him instead of you. And in general, do not interfere in your personal life.

You stay with him because of indecision or pity

The most difficult case. You can be a very considerate person. And when you consider that you are also a woman in whom the instinct is to take care of everyone, any man, even the most unworthy, can linger in your chambers for a long time. Parting is prevented by fear of hurting, worries about whether he can cope without you.  And he is glad to support such feelings in you. This is an unhealthy relationship, which, unfortunately, is very closely associated with your complexes. Firmly say "No" you will not succeed. What to do? Make him leave you. Maybe he himself is not averse to go to the side. Use this as an excuse to break off a relationship. And by running to the psychologist yourself, you can and should work with children's complexes so that they do not force you to look for exactly the same person with whom you just broke up.

Unfortunately, perfect relationship  it doesn’t happen, and every woman at least sometimes thinks about what to do in a certain current situation. Sometimes it is a quarrel, after which it is necessary to make peace and find a common language with a loved one, and sometimes it is doubt as to whether these relations are necessary at all. Some women easily decide to break the connection with a particular man, while others have suffered humiliation and scandals for years, afraid to take a decisive step.

Man  can be a reliable partner who supports and tries to resolve conflicts, but he can also be the initiator of these quarrels. If you spend years of your life on normalizing relations with your loved one and are afraid to leave him, this article is for you. Men need to be left beautifully, without quarrels and scandals, so that a good impression remains about you.

1. Fatigue from constant jealousy. Some men are so bent over in a relationship that they end up alone. Jealousy is one of the biggest problems in a relationship, so it’s very important to find a middle ground. Often women decide to break up precisely because of the jealousy of the second half, because they have to limit themselves and constantly be in a state of stress.

2. Lack of love. It happens that a woman just stopped loving. Sometimes there are specific reasons for this, and sometimes love just passes, which, perhaps, was not too strong even at the beginning of the relationship. No one can be to blame for this, passion just passed, and strong love did not replace it. Do not entertain yourself with the illusions that everything will change if you feel bad, and with this person you feel uncomfortable.

3. A new young man has appeared. Or middle-aged, or just flared up feelings for the former. In any case, you should not waste time playing a double game, being dishonest to both. Here we must firmly decide: who exactly is worthy of your love and refuse to communicate with the second. The decision is not easy, but it is important to show respect for men and not lose your honor and dignity. Women often leave because a new lover has appeared, while men play on two fronts for a long time.

4. Zaell life. And men and women often decide to break up precisely for this reason. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds in preserving the diversity and brightness of relations, and everyday issues kill even the strongest love. Not many people manage to maintain a strong relationship and create a family full of love and respect, especially if every day you have to go to work in the same place and watch the same channels on TV at home.

5. Someone has appeared. Not every woman can forgive infidelity, most often the fair sex decide to leave, even if they have nowhere to go.

— Write down all its pros and cons on a piece of paper. So you can clearly understand what you are not comfortable with in a man, and what disadvantages are decisive for you. Sometimes women think for a long time about whether to break off relations, because it seems good with a man, but sometimes you want to run away from him. That is why to begin with, write down all its pros and cons in two columns and compare, for sure you will notice that there are more minuses. So you can quickly and decisively draw a conclusion and approach the situation correctly. During a conversation with your young man, you will always know what you are not comfortable with and how you can confirm your decision.

— Never do this by telephone or by correspondence.. This can offend a person very much, leaving a negative mark in his soul. Plus, it's just dishonest. Pay attention to how he is used to having a conversation, and in what environment. Perhaps you should go to a cafe or just discuss this topic at home over a cup of hot tea. A one-on-one conversation will in any case be a complete solution to the problem, and besides, you will not have any omissions or misunderstandings. Tell him in advance that there will be a removable conversation, let him mentally prepare.

— Never scream. Whatever the problems between you, in no case do not lose control of yourself. You do not want to be a hysterical person who does not know how to control herself? In a calm tone, explain to him that everything is over between you, tell us how you feel, and be sure to describe the reason for the break. You should not make a person unhappy if you simply do not know how to behave decently. If you calmly tell him about your experiences and apologize for the situation, it is likely that after breaking up you will be able to communicate. This is especially important if you have common children. In no case do not burn bridges and do not hurt a person.

— List him the pros of your break. Of course, if a man loves you with all his heart and is ready for you for a lot, explaining to him that now his life will be transformed will be quite difficult. But try to somehow give a positive to your breakup. Say that now he will have more time for himself, that he will not have to spend a lot of money on shopping and in cafes and is finally gathering on a motorcycle. In any case, try to cheer him up and give him hope that not everything in this life is lost.

— List him your shortcomings. If she has long dreamed of breaking up, then you won’t even need to do this, and if he wants to be with you, you will have to try to convince him that you are not worthy of him. Tell him about your minuses and shortcomings, emphasize your bad sides and in no case speak about his qualities. Your shortcomings must be significant so that he at least for a moment thinks about what is possible, it will really be better for both of you.

— Don't turn a conversation into a scandal. This is not so easy, but worth the effort. No need to scream, blame him or insult him. Try to convey to him the idea that you are now not together. Also, do not let him raise his voice at you, do not allow quarrels or a bad attitude towards you. Civilized educated people will always find a way to solve their problems peacefully and without scandals. This should be your rule if you decide to peacefully part with your man.

  Source:
How to get away from the man you love
The article provides practical advice on ending a relationship with a man.
http://meduniver.com/Medical/Psixology/kak_uiti_ot_mugchini.html

Our life is beautiful, you just need to take a closer look!

Getting away from the person you love is crazy. This is perplexing. It's impossible!

But for her it is possible. It would be crazy if she stayed. Do not judge her. Do not stone.

You need to be at least a little in her place to understand what she is doing. She is beautiful, smart, sensitive.

She is like a full moon in a dark, cold night.

She takes sand and turns it into stars.

She is magic. She is love itself.

She waited so long to find him. She loved him more than her own life. But guess what? She left him.

With tears in her eyes and pain in her heart, she set him free.

She left him because she wanted morethan just hearing nice words. She wanted more than amazing sex.

She needed more than gifts, words, and sex.

She wanted to see what she did.  She longed for his presence in every area of \u200b\u200bher life.

She wanted attention. She wanted at least sometimes he cooked something for her, no matter how bad or good.

She wanted him to ask how her day went and what her plans for the evening were.

She wanted him to take her on dates.

She wanted him to give her flowers at least once a year.

She just wanted to live. To listen to her. To be appreciated.

She wanted to be the one and only woman in his life.

She is a new land that wanted to be discovered. But he never tried to get to this land and get lost in its forests. He remained on the shore and decided to look at her from afar.

And in time that land died. She died. She was not open.

She left because she was a book that he never bothered to pick up and at least leaf through. He thought the cover was the most valuable. He did not know that underneath was a whole kingdom of gold.

She felt like a flower to be constantly watered. And he forgot to do it every day. The flower wilted and died.

Little by little, she began to lose her light. It turned into a candle that could go out at any moment.

Love should lift you up, open your heart wide, make you happy. And her love made her sad.

She gave and gave, gave and gave. But she received nothing in return.

She told him what she lacked, and he heard her, but never really listened.

He took her for granted.

He thought she would stay, no matter what.

A man who wants to share her dreams with her. A man who is not too busy chasing his dreams without noticing her.

She needs a man from whom she will not even think to leave. So that she does not have to choose between her man and her happiness.

She wanted a man who himself is happiness.

She left, and he did not fully understand why.

She knew that in a year or two, or ten, he would understand. He will look back and understand what was needed to hold her in his hands.

She will always love him for a love that has not turned into a relationship. She tried to save the relationship, but they were already scattered by the wind.

She loves him, but she had to put herself first, at least once.

She wants him, but she had to leave.

She went away to find herself, which she lost. She will return herself to her place, wrap all the wounds in a bandage and continue on her way alone.

She left to love herself again, to find out the price for herself, and to turn sand into stars again.

And maybe, just maybe, one day, some man will make her his star, and then she will not need to ever create stars again, because she herself will become one of them.

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From a guy, then do it as calmly and in a romantic atmosphere, because you do not want grand quarrels. A girl should be effective in any situation, and a break with a loved one is no exception. However, in fact, in the end, it all ends with mutual insults. But you can try to leave without a scandal.

If your young man is from a social network, then you can write an email stating that your relationship needs to be terminated. Write your words in verse that you are not worthy of him, that he must find another girl to communicate with. After all, there is a lot of information on the Internet.

In a search query, enter word combinations such as verses about sad love or separation. At the end of the message, do not forget to add a crying emoticon. And all this can be arranged on a virtual postcard. Also ask the guy not to bother you or write letters anymore.

Send an SMS message if you are afraid of an open conversation. Such a message can also be invented in verse. If you still can’t avoid an explanation, then proceed differently.

Arrange an evening for your upcoming conversation to create an atmosphere of understanding and trust. Put on your pretty clothes and put on your pretty ones. Book a table in a restaurant or a cozy cafe. You can also go to the movies or travel on a luxury limousine.

Get out into the nature. Come up with something yourself. The main thing is that your young man remains under a good impression. Then start the conversation right away with the words about the breakup. Then act on the situation. The guy can become isolated, or start asking a lot of questions, or just leave. His actions may not be predictable. But you must remain reasonable and not lose your sense of composure.

Invite the man to remain friends. Many men just insult this. But if all goes well, you can communicate in the future.

No need to try to return the gifts that the guy gave you. This is offensive not only to you, but also humiliates him. You can give them to someone else, but not in the presence of a former man.

Be sure (if possible) tell the guy that you were very happy with him and will remember only the good that connected you. However, do not rush to immediately break off relations: maybe he is exactly the person you need.

Why are we leaving men? By the way, how to get away from a man? - Understand first whether you want to leave him. Then figure out why you are going to do this.

In any case, you need to leave the guy (from the man) beautifully, correctly, and in such a way as to cause pain minimally. At least try ...

Causes

They can be serious and stupid:

• They quarreled so much that there was simply no other way out.  You packed your things, but you haven’t decided to leave yet.
• He kicked you out, but then asked for forgiveness.  Pride does not allow him to stay with him, and conscience, on the contrary, says that we need to somehow put an end to the conversation.
• You have a complete “misunderstanding”, from which neither he nor you can depart.  And that happens.
• Jealousy. Or you were jealous, or beloved. In fact, anyway, which of you. This is not so important. More important - the reason itself.
• You (or him, or you) have someone.  Appeared .., and this, you think, for a long time.
• Love passed, and something there wilted ....  Feelings also know how to disappear, even unexpectedly.
• He told you to have an abortion.  This case can be considered in the context of “leaving without a conversation,” but then a feeling of understatement will remain between you, which will greatly interfere with living on.

There are many more reasons ... But here the most important of them are listed.

Going to the next answer is not a question:

How to leave a man?

You need to talk if you want to leave not "in English." You need to prepare for it. How? Just prepare to not say too much.

You need to talk, do not reject it right away ...

However: this is how and what:

• Build a plan for a difficult conversation. How many points can it have? Unlimited amount! As much as thoughts “tell you”.
• Write down the plan, writing it in detail.
• Find all the “pros” and “cons” in the plan so that you don’t rewrite it later.
• Prepare mentally for any of his reactions.
• Remember that one cannot raise one's voice during a conversation, just as one cannot “allow” a psychosis reaction.
• When you say that you are leaving, look for the advantages of leaving.
• Tell me how imperfect you are, listing all your shortcomings.

When do you need to leave without hesitation?

• When beats

In general, dear, if he hit you or called you hard, the "beauty" of leaving would be inappropriate. A man should not insult the girl, and raise her hand! This can’t be forgiven. Especially the second. If he does this once, then the second one can also come at any moment.

Many forgive, of course, because they love. Then they regret that they forgive, but they forgive again. The poor things are hoping that things will change. And here, as you see, optimism is inappropriate.

• Go away without looking back if a man is drinking

And you do not need to believe that he will definitely quit drinking if he cannot do this within six months. And coding will not help if you are “fed” with ordinary promises, which remain promises.

• Leave just like that if he "eats" you in a moral sense, for any reason ...

If in his criticism there is a lot of offensive destructiveness offensive. A person does not change in such cases! Never and never! He will try, but nothing will work. Such behavior imperceptibly and gradually becomes just a lifestyle.

How do girls leave men? Reviews

From Lyudmila:  If a girl leaves, she means that it’s bad with a man. Just like that, no one ever leaves. We will not talk about the reasons right now, because we can always talk about them. I left the guy very simply. She said that I have (appeared) another. This, of course, was not true, but then it was necessary to lie. He believed in my lies, received a dose of pain. I feel sorry for him, but I want to be without him!

From Danielle: Gone, because he cheated on me. It was so painful that she decided to take revenge by leaving. He himself understood why she left. I'm glad that he so understanding. Here is such a revenge! And she herself did not expect that I could leave. I thought I would forgive, but I was mistaken.

From Anastasia: The pain is caused anyway, as you do not leave. Pain is inevitable. But life is such a thing that, sometimes, a rhyme is indecent to it. I will not “clog” this article with indecent words. I just don’t like them! She left the guy because the relationship lost all meaning. Gone quietly, without scandals.

From Martha:  I’ll tell you how my girlfriend left the guy. She had a farewell romantic dinner, and farewell romantic sex! The last one is amazing. She says that she always “practices” just such a scenario when she abandons men. She is not editing, but I do not blame him. Did he do wrong too? As - she will tell, if she considers it necessary to do it. I do not like to wash the bones.

From Eloise: I left very simply .... Gone, that's all. Even things have left everything. I'll buy everything new later! I don’t need things reminiscent of him! I don’t need anything from him. And memories are not needed, but only amnesia, which does not shine for me, can kill them. And so I wanted, once, to get sick with it .... Fate, you see, mine is different.

From Lucianna:  Not everyone leaves beautifully. And not everyone leaves! My story is very long. I don’t want to bore you with it. And briefly I won’t tell you all about it. This is a difficult situation for me. But I would not advise you to leave without hesitation. Everything can still change! By the way, and for the better. I got around this “best side,” but I'm sure you're lucky. She suffered a lot when she left. But female pride is invincible pride. I already managed to experience this on myself many times.