Talking with yourself is effective self-help. Why is a man talking to himself
Sometimes people talk to themselves. Most often, this is a sign of loneliness when you want to talk, but not with anyone. For such people, you can recommend a pet. You can calmly talk with him out loud, it's even funny. Sometimes children talk aloud, often during the game. In this case, they are trying to voice their role, they lack attention. Perhaps such a child needs to play more often with peers so that he does not get used to speak for himself and for the doll.
If people talk to themselves out loud, then they often really lack human attention. In this situation, it is necessary to expand the circle of communication, often go out on the street, communicate with people. Start a business, a hobby, you do not need to lock yourself in. You can try looking for friends on the Internet, this also helps.
Why is another person talking to himself out loud?
Also, from the abundance of information volume that the brain receives during work, many begin to pronounce numbers or words so as not to get confused. This indicates the special care of a person, his fear of mistakes. Of course, this can not be called a pathology. It may look unusual, but not scary. Some people call such things still an egocentric appeal, that is, words to themselves. It can also be an imposition of loneliness.
Mental illness
However, in addition to the usual utterance of text or dialogs into the voice, many are in real disputes with the absent surrounding. Sometimes the conversation looks pretty aggressive. This indicates a person’s mental illness, some of which are congenital.
What pathologies are:
- Psychopathy;
- Schizophrenia;
- Forked personality and others.
Bifurcation of the human personality is a diagnosis, it can be obtained as a result of experienced mental trauma, often they come from childhood. Sexual or physical effects affect the behavior of an adult afterwards. It seems to him that he develops several personalities, moreover of different sexes. There may be about a dozen. He can experience not only depression, but also try to harm himself. Schizophrenia affects many people. They are quite adequate until they start talking to themselves. Often creative people suffer from schizophrenia, it’s like taking care of the stresses of the world around you.
Do not make a diagnosis yourself; consult a doctor
These diseases are already being treated by a psychiatrist, but in any case, you need to examine the person, and not to make an unfounded diagnosis. If a person has experienced severe stress, has been in a state of loneliness for a long time, likes to think out loud, then he will often behave strangely. That is why, the reasons why people talk to themselves can be different, and pathology does not always occur. However, if the family had schizophrenia, you need to keep in mind, then the disease is often inherited and in certain circumstances may well recur.
To find out why people are talking to themselves is not difficult, you just need to contact a specialist, and he will name the reason in each case.
“It’s like I’m writing subtitles for my life,” 37-year-old Alexandra admits. - Everything I’m going to do, I comment out loud: “Today it’s warm, I’ll put on a blue skirt”; “I'll take a couple of thousand off the card, that’s enough.” If my friend hears, it’s not scary - he’s used to it. But in a public place, people start to squint at me, and I feel stupid. "
It helps me focus.. Speaking our actions out loud, we are not at all eager for communication - so why don't we just shut up? “The need for commentary arises when the task before us requires concentration,” says psychotherapist Andrei Korneev, a specialist in somatic psychology. - In the life of each of us there was a period when we described aloud everything that we did or were going to do. Although, perhaps, we do not remember him: it happened at the age of about three years. Such speech not addressed to anyone is a natural stage of development; it helps the child to navigate in the objective world, move from spontaneous reactions to conscious actions and learn how to manage them. Then the outer speech “folds”, passes into the inner one, and we stop noticing it. ” But it can “turn around” again and sound out loud if we perform some complicated sequence of operations, for example, we assemble an electronic circuit or prepare a dish according to a new recipe. Its function is the same: it makes it easier for us to manipulate objects and helps to plan them.
Elena, 41 years old, teacher of the Norwegian language
“It was a habit for me to criticize myself out loud, or even scold me. I never thought about her and somehow involuntarily made a remark to myself in the therapist’s office. And he asked: “Who told little Lena that she was stupid?” It was like an insight: I remembered that this was how my school teacher lectured me. And I stopped talking like that - because I don’t think so, these words are not mine! ”
I pour out emotions. Exclamations not addressed can be a manifestation of strong feelings: resentment, delight. Once, Pushkin, alone, "clapped his hands and shouted" oh yes Pushkin! Aw, son of a bitch! ”- He was so pleased with his work. The remarks “even if it had carried!” The student before the exam, “so what to do with it?” Of the accountant over the quarterly report and what we say when we look after the train we were late for, they all have the same reason. “Speaking in such a situation serves as an emotional discharge and is often accompanied by an energetic gesture,” explains Andrey Korneev. “Strong is a surge of energy, and it requires some manifestation outside, so that we can get rid of excess tension.” I continue to have an internal dialogue. Sometimes we seem to look at ourselves from the outside - and evaluate, scold, read notations. “If these are monotonous statements in which the same assessments sound little depending on changing circumstances, this is a consequence of emotional trauma that we most likely received in childhood,” says Andrey Korneev. “An unresolved conflict is turning into an internal one: one part of us is in conflict with another.” The strong feeling that we experienced in the past did not find a way out (for example, we could not express anger towards our parents) and remained locked inside. And we relive it, repeating the words addressed to us once aloud.
What to do?
Separate your thoughts from strangers
Who speaks to us during such monologues? Do we really express our own thoughts and opinions or repeat what our parents, relatives or close friends once told us? “Try to remember who it was. Imagine that this person is now in front of you, ”suggests Andrey Korneev. - Listen to his words. Find the answer that you can give now, as an adult, taking into account your life experience and knowledge. As a child, you might be confused or afraid, did not know what to answer, or were afraid. Today you have something to say, and you will be able to protect yourself. ” This exercise helps complete the experience.
Try to speak quietly
“If pronouncing actions helps you, you don’t need to try to get rid of it,” Andrei Korneev reassures. - And if at the same time disapproving views or comments of others who do not want to be in the know about your plans interfere, then try to avoid them. What to do for this? Speak quietly, in a whisper. This is just the rare case when the more illegible, the better. Then those around you will not suspect for a second that you are addressing them, and there will be less awkward situations. Gradually, you can switch to silent speaking, this is a matter of training. ” Take a closer look, and you will notice other people who move their lips near the store shelf with twenty kinds of cereals. But this does not bother anyone.
Prepare in advance
Make a list of products going to the store. Calculate the time going to train. Learn all exam tickets. Planning and careful preparation will save you from having to think on the go and worry out loud. Of course, there are emergency situations that are not dependent on us and which cannot be foreseen. But, hand on heart, we recognize that they rarely happen.
I agree with the written ... But I want to add something. And I think that the topic of the inner voice should be one of the main in our lives. He can both create and destroy our different lives .. So far, I honestly have not figured out this topic .. But he was very interested and sure that every person has it. For some reason, this begins for many with an internal dialogue from childhood and we are not very interested in this matter among the people who surrounded us, right? .. They could explain this to us with internal thinking and nothing surprises us. But growing up, the internal Thinker develops for many .. or it has already been developed! .. I am not an old man of mystical ideas. But there is a voice that advises unexplained things, and people in psychiatry sit because of this and stay with these inner Thinkers forever. Why am I interested in this? Because, at first glance, the internal Dialogue is ordinary things and psychologists with psychiatry will deal with the Thinker if there are any dangerous moments for society .. But this came to the public and it’s not quite an internal dialogue anymore .. And communication with himself and my real friends out loud .. I still feel normal because I live alone and not a savage and I think that the process - the person’s life experience deserves respect and attention .. The usual one is shorter) But relatives think that this is not normal .. And they bring Imeri different people who speak in sluh..schitayut this deviation from the norm. But about the norm, there is a strong discord in opinions. And there is one more thing ... I don’t feel in myself an inner thinker or adviser, an announcer, a voice ... what else is it used to call? hard minuses, to be briefly .. I even started to think and understand that soon the life path would be over .. I noticed that I like to go to the cemetery .. the awful name for the place of the dead agree?)) .. I often thought about those who left with of this world about his deceased father ... What a fatality and calmness at the same time as trying on myself ... I repeat I swear that I am not a supporter of mysticism, but I have my firm conviction that in every apparent chaos there is a clear order that no one has yet given an explanation .. I began to speak with myself, these thoughts do not come from me !! I’m like a receiver now ... And of course I don’t do it in society.)) I can’t figure out where it is from .. But I’m talking in a special sobriety dialogue and it helps me to figure out how to correctly lay out situations correctly for details but also to think about what we are here for. . And you’re right that there’s no reason to have other advisers at the same time .. But it bothers me a little one moment I get used to doing it and get used to being alone .. We are in society in the end))) .. I don’t know how life will go on and by the way I’m not very worried about this .. Although the needs for life are of course relevant in many respects)) I think that the topic of this should be heard and requires discussion, but only those who understand what I mean ..
He often went into himself and no one could understand what he was doing there.
Modern aphorism
Do you talk to yourself? Most probably not. Because you think that this is what people who finally “move off the coils” do — they grumble under their breath, arguing with themselves.
But in vain you think so, because talking with yourself is a mandatory practice of a self-actualizing person. It is one thing to “hear voices”, and another thing is to conduct an internal dialogue. I often engage in internal dialogue when I need to understand complex issues, often related to finding a way. Moreover, the path can be as abstract, what we call the “life path”, but also internal dialogue is very helpful in cases where you need to navigate in an unfamiliar area, in a dangerous or threatened situation.
For example, when you are alone lost in the mountains and begins to get dark. In order not to fall into a panic state and not break even bigger “firewood”, an internal dialogue is immediately activated. For example, it might look like this:
Something is syrupy for me, it starts to get dark, but I lost the path under the snow ...
Calm, everything is fine, let's not panic.
Damn, always like that! I see the approaching northern fur animal ...
How many times have you been in such situations? Well, how much?
Yes, many times, many! "A bad head does not give rest to your feet!"
Well, you see - and each time you got out, you weren’t from such an asshole as this one.
But here I am for the first time and it is not clear where, damn it, to go!
So stop it!
Take it easy! Put your breath in order.
Good, breathing calmly.
You still have the strength.
It seems so.
Can you get those thickets on the slope?
You can spend the night there.
But the water will have to climb up to that creek under the rock.
Cool.
While light can be reached. But it is necessary to decide - what at first: to reach the thickets in the light, and then in the dark to get water or vice versa?
It’s safer, of course, to run away after the light for water, and before thickets you can stumble through the darkness slowly. I can easily set up a tent with a lantern and in the dark.
Well, OK. Then first for water.
You can, of course, laugh at such a "delusional conversation", but in reality, such a dialogue helps to calm down, outline a plan of salvation and simply survive. I went on solo hikes in the Caucasus and the Kola Peninsula - I know what I'm talking about.
But it is not necessary to fall into extreme environmental conditions or become a hostage to terrorists in order to be forced to calm oneself and lead an internal conversation. It is much more important to use this practice in everyday life - when you are looking for not your own way out of the natural maze, but your own life Path. That is, in order to understand where to move on through life, it is simply necessary to discuss possible options with oneself. For example, like this:
Well, what - it's time to decide: Klava or Zoya?
I do not want to be determined! What for?
You will not be enough for both at once.
Maybe enough for a while ...
Besides, if Zoya finds out about Klava!
Oh, damn it - yes!
Klava's backside or Zoe's chest? That's what!
Of course, Klava’s ass! What are you talking about !?
Well, if Claudia had Zoe’s chest!
Well, and how to choose here?
Maybe let's talk about spiritual qualities?
In the sense of?
Well, who do you feel comfortable with?
With Zoe, definitely!
And with whom do you get high?
Of course, with Klava! She is so cool!
We must decide!
I can not and I do not want!
Must choose!
Maybe better for beer?
Decide first, and then beer! As a reward for a difficult choice.
Damn, maybe cast lots, eh?
Throw it, only then you’ll change your mind yourself, because I know you ...
Well, as you know, such a conversation can go on for a very long time. But this is precisely what determines what a person needs in his life. In real life, more often, of course, such things are discussed in conversation with friends (girlfriends). But not all issues can be discussed like that. Alone with yourself, you can talk frankly, in garlic, so to speak. By the way, if you have mastered the art of internal dialogue, then conversations with friends, and even more with therapists, will become much more productive if they (in psychotherapists) still have meaning :-)
So, let's look at a few issues regarding internal dialogue:
Who is talking to whom?
I have a point of view, but I do not agree with her
Modern aphorism
Who, inside us, is conducting these same conversations? After all, we are an integrated personality, possessing a name, identity, integral I, finally! This is probably only schizophrenics, people with a split personality can conduct such dialogues. So, but not so. In fact, there are many different subpersonalities within us, so to speak, platforms for formulating opinions. Everyone knows such positions as Adult, Parent, Child, proposed by Eric Byrne. In reality, there are quite a lot of such platforms, and you and I don’t need to build a new personality theory to explain who is discussing what. The main thing is that all these positions are what we are. In different, so to speak, incarnations. If you really want to, then of course you can try to identify your different selves, try to describe their positioning. However, it is worth doing this only after you fully master the practice of conducting an internal dialogue. The main thing now is self-confidence. One who has learned to trust himself, is confident in the self-sufficiency of his inner world - will not be lost.
We can also assume that in this way different hemispheres of our brain talk among themselves: the right one about what will happen (intuition knows everything), the left one about what needs to be done right now.
Why engage in this dialogue?
Such an internal dialogue is very therapeutic in itself and really helps to survive in the most extreme situations. In fact, this is a self-help method. But just like prayer, inner conversation works not only in especially dangerous cases. On the contrary, it is in a calm situation that it is more necessary and useful, because helps to choose the right, meaningful life path. Internal dialogue is a technique of awareness, comprehension, finding your own value guidelines. A conversation with oneself is the highest form of internalization of an external dialogue, a conversation with significant others. The presence of an internal dialogue shows that your personality has reached a stage of maturity when you yourself become a significant person in your life. Internal discourse is a tool for shaping one’s true identity, one’s authenticity.
How to use it?
Save yourself and thousands around you will be saved
St. Seraphim
A feature of the internal dialogue is that it does not require translation from a social language to a personal one. The internal dialogue immediately sounds in the format of thoughts and meanings, therefore it is understandable from the fly. Mastering this practice allows you to receive the following bonuses:
Find a way out of difficult and critical situations through control of emotions and a calm analysis of the situation;
Identify life priorities, resolving internal value conflicts and determining the levels of personal significance of certain phenomena;
Discover new meanings and build up old ones;
Reduce the level of aggressiveness and anger, developing your own inner culture;
To master the technique of mental preparation of difficult negotiations;
Effectively conduct public discussions, masterfully mastering the art of asking and answering difficult questions;
To help others control their emotions and find a way out of difficult situations, as Having mastered this practice, you can teach other people how to use it.
Hello dear blog readers! Imagine a simple life situation that is chronically repeated day after day, from month to month, from year to year. So...
Morning! A new day begins. The alarm rings. It's time to get up, but reluctant to get up, I still want to sleep. With difficulty, we ate by opening our eyes, we get out of bed and go to wash ourselves ... And then HE appears! Appears from nothing, no where, as if from a void. And HE will haunt us all day until the very moment of falling asleep.
It is an internal dialogue, a conversation with oneself, an uncontrolled run of thoughts that occurs exclusively in the head. Almost all thinking people have an internal dialogue. Whoever has it is bigger, stronger, more intense, and whoever has it is smaller, weaker. Lack of thoughts in the head is extremely rare. Dialogue can be about anything. The topics are quite diverse, it can be a continuation of yesterday’s scandal with a spouse, an internal dispute with a boss, discussion and commenting on news, and so on. A webinar or a radio can play in our heads, repeating the same verse from a forgotten song. In special cases, attempts are being made to solve a second-order differential equation.
Why is internal dialogue useful to us? For starters, this is a kind of mechanism for perceiving and analyzing the world around us, drawing up and discussing plans for further actions, accessing memory and storing information, and so on. Very useful thing.
On the other hand, internal dialogue can be a deterrent in making important decisions, a kind of thought-discusser at a time when you have to act very quickly. If it is necessary to focus on something important, the resulting dialogue distracts us from really important and necessary thoughts, making it difficult to focus on the main thing, creates a number of doubts. Imagine a housewife who spent the whole evening thinking about what to cook potatoes: - boiled or fried. As a result, the whole family remained hungry.
According to scientists, our brain consumes 80% of the energy available to the whole body. Most of this energy is spent on a useless mixer, taking away the body’s energy, causing a state of fatigue. In addition, the activation of the inner circle of thoughts before going to bed leads to insomnia. A person goes to bed, tries to sleep, and in his head begins a discussion of the past day, making plans for the next day, options for a scenario of a dispute with a spouse or boss and so on. There is no time for sleep. And this leads to chronic fatigue. At the highest stage of the riot of thoughts, a person begins to talk to himself, and this from the outside looks ugly. 
Doctor, in my head a little man swears all the time! - So it's easy to fix! $ 10,000 - no problem! “Doctor, do you know what the little man said now?”
When else does an uncontrolled run of thoughts interfere with us? Everyone probably heard about the Subconscious. You can read about it in article 99.
The subconscious is subpersonal, a kind of internal "being" that actively participates in our lives. His task is to help us live a successful, positive, joyful life, achieve our goals, spend less energy on worries and anxieties. In addition, the subconscious mind controls our intuition, tells us what to do in a given situation, how to make the right decision when we do not have the necessary information or knowledge. But we don’t hear him, we try to chat with him, wash away the hint with a stream of all kinds of random thoughts. The necessary thought appeared and dozens of discussing, criticizing, doubting thoughts rushed at it right away, like a flock of cats in a bowl of fish. All valuable thought “died” under the yoke of an uncontrolled word mixer. Those people who know how to listen to their subconscious, that is, to hear their intuition, are more successful and happier in life than those who think for a long time, comprehend, compare, doubt. If you want to become a favorite of Life, you must learn to listen to your subconscious.
I will give you an example. Suppose you are waiting for an important email. Very important letter! Much depends on him in your fate. If you don’t get it in time, then that's it: a complete scribe multiplied by an Achtung Kaput. You sit down at a computer, connect to the Internet, start an email program and wait. And suddenly you felt the urge to play a toy. And not in simple, but in fancy full-screen, with special effects and sound. You play, an hour, two, five ... And already at the third hour of the night you remember that a very important letter should come to you. But you still have not received it, the necessary, vital information has not reached you. EVERYTHING IS LOST! But looking at the mail program, it turns out that the rescue letter arrived, arrived on time, only you did not notice it. And they did not notice because they were engaged in other unnecessary pastime. As a result, they were late and lost! This is the case with intuition: there are valuable thoughts and tips, they appear on time, but we do not notice them and do not use them. Note: there are more losers than lucky ones.
Stop the internal dialogue.
Internal dialogue - one of the many processes taking place in our minds. The complete absence of the thought process is a sign of mental inferiority. Sometimes it is vital, but sometimes it only interferes, boggles the head with all kinds of nonsense, creates doubts and all kinds of obscure conclusions. On the one hand, an internal dialogue is needed, but on the other, no. What to do? We must learn to control this process, that is, consciously, turn it off at the right time, stop the uncontrolled running of thoughts, turn off the word mixer. Fortunately, there are so many ways to do this. You just need to practice. The first time it may not work. Let's try to organize silence in the head.
1. Extrusion or replacement. The flow of chaotic, uncontrolled thoughts is replaced by repeatedly repeated, regular thoughts. It can be mantras, repeating phrases like: “I am delighted with myself” or “I can do it all”, prayers, the score is from 10 to 0, and even better from 100 to 0. The score is kept several times. As soon as we need to stop the mixer, we forcibly begin to repeat the same phrases to ourselves, as if crowding out, replacing them with the unnecessary. After a while, the word mixer shuts down. Now we “remove” the replacing thoughts and for 1 - 2 minutes the silence in the head is ensured.
2. Thinking. Here you don’t need to think anything, you just need to imagine, create a mental picture, a visual image, as a crazy thought appears in your head, and you remove it. There are many options. For example: “aquarium”. Imagine that you are sitting at the bottom of the aquarium, watching the fish, as soon as a thought appears, you put it in an air bubble and send it to the surface. Another thought came up - the same thing: in a bubble and on the surface. The main thing is not to say silently: “here I have another thought, I am sending it”, - the main thing is to present this whole process in the form of a picture, better colored. One can imagine that the head was filled with oil (concrete) and all thoughts in it were stuck. Or imagine that you took a towel and wiped all unnecessary thoughts out of your head. There was a thought - it was immediately erased. Imagine the idea in the form of a dog, as soon as it got out and barked, it was immediately pushed into the kennel. I repeat once again: all this must be presented in the form of a visual image, a mental picture. In no case do not comment!
3. Concentration. We focus on some process or external object. For example, focus on pulsating blood. Take, for example, a palm, concentrate your eyes on it and try to feel how the blood pulsates through it. You can concentrate on the tip of the nose and feel how air enters and exits, and feel all the subtleties of the process. In everyday life, we do not pay any attention to this, but here it is necessary to concentrate. The running of thoughts at the same time stops. It is good to concentrate your attention on the flame of a candle, the flame of a bonfire or on the waves of the sea, most importantly, at this moment there is nothing to think about or indulge in philosophical reasoning.
4. Energy breathing. A very strong practice, allowing not only to stop the running of thoughts, but also to recharge with energy. Imagine that not only air surrounds us, but also some kind of energetic substance that nourishes us with energy. Inhaling the air, we also inhale this substance. We exhale normally, but imagine that we do not externally, as usual, but inside ourselves, through our body. The body, we imagine in the form of an empty container, like a hollow chocolate hare or Santa Claus, which is blown on the exhale. Energy enters with the air, but it does not exit, but remains in the body. We imagine how energy gradually enters our body, slowly and pleasantly fills all its parts and organs. Imagine how pleasantly the body is filled, stored, charged with energy. We get a boost of energy. If something hurts, we imagine and feel how air and energy pass through a sore spot, thereby purifying it. Imagine how pain is displaced by energy from the body and blown out by the air stream. Sensing all this, our internal dialogue is disconnected. Even with this practice, a trance state may occur. And trance is a separate issue ...
5. Trans states. There is no inner dialogue in a trance; there is no running of thoughts. The paradox of this practice is to go into a trance, you must turn off the internal talker. But a trance state can occur in a natural way - the subconscious mind itself will drive our body into it. You probably noticed this situation for yourself: after a hearty lunch, sit down at the computer, start to do something, but, suddenly, you feel that your eyes are stupidly set on the monitor, your thoughts are absent, and your body is drowsy ... This is not a dream, but not awake anymore - this is a trans ...
There are many other practices of stopping the running of thoughts in the head. If you know, describe them in the comments. I will be grateful!!!
I say goodbye to this, see you soon on the blog pages!
