Indifference is a terrible weapon. Indifference

Indifference is an indifferent attitude to the problems, troubles and sorrows of another
person.

First, indifference arises in relation to completely strangers. Then he goes on a circle of superficial acquaintances, then captures the person’s friends, as a result, imperceptibly crushes under himself and relations with friends and relatives. Often, indifference initially arises as indifference to the suffering of the animal, gradually turning to people. This is like moral and psychological rust, which in itself, without deliberate efforts on the part of man, more and more captures and destroys it.

Indifference goes along with egoism and rationalism, self-confidence and narcissism. It is the first step towards cruelty and aggressiveness. Indifference can cover a person’s spiritual “field” with a thick carpet of “weeds” that destroys any positive feeling or thought, which can lead to complete moral and psychological degradation of a person.

Vanity sucks a person indifferent to everything except work, irritability, aggressiveness, anxiety, desire for self-realization appear. And nothing more? Is it necessary to see a person? To all questions not related to work, he has a prepared answer in advance: "All this is nonsense ...". This is only his small world, into which he does not let anyone in - not rubbish. He closed himself with a shell and thinks that he is protected. But there are people who love him, who are not indifferent to his fate, although he does not believe this. How to convince him, how to make him believe in feelings? What needs to be done for his defense to collapse? After all, it is said: “Knock on the door and it will open to you”, or: “The stronger the pressure, the closer the target.”

What if you leave such a person alone? Let him live his limited life, let him close in his little world. He is well there, as he claims. Maybe he is just waiting for everyone to leave him alone? But most likely this is not so. After all, there are reasons that made him create his own closed world. Someone or something does not let him out of there. It does not allow you to live an interesting life, with different feelings and emotions. Having understood the reasons, you can bring this person out of the state - "I do not need anyone and I do not need anyone and nothing." I do not advise anything and can not know the recipe for the disease "indifference to everything." But you can achieve a lot with your active attention and behavior, with your INDIVIDUAL. The main thing is to believe that you can change this world of indifference and indifferent people living in it. And also - never lose hope and faith in victory NEVER ... It must be remembered that the world is as bad or good as we perceive it badly or well.

Do not be afraid of enemies - in the worst case, they can kill you. Do not be afraid of friends - in the worst case, they can betray you. Fear the indifferent - they do not kill and do not betray, but only with their tacit consent does treason and murder exist on earth.

The terrible beast "indifference": how to live with it and whether we need it

Indifference devastates and preserves, hurts and stimulates a return to reality, destroys and pushes to build other new relationships and much more. Indifference itself may not be filled with anything, but it has a lot to do with it, it is almost impossible to treat it with indifference. Perhaps indifference will come later, but the meeting itself with the indifference of another person excite different feelings.

To begin with, we turn to the most general definition of the concept of "indifference." Indifference is a state of an indifferent person, indifferent, devoid of interest, passive attitude to the environment (Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov. D.N. Ushakov. 1935-1940). Indifference, a synonym for indifference, these terms will be used here interchangeably.

I would like to consider indifference in the context of human relations, how to accept the indifference of the other and your own. The worst thing: the indifference of a loved one. It becomes somehow very cold, lonely. Disappointment, despair, total loneliness, loss of faith in people, especially in the fact that close relationships can be built with them on trust and understanding, can come. If a close, dear person looks at you indifferently, then maybe nobody really needs you? How could indifference appear in such close relationships? Indifference kills love. Not always, of course, but it is precisely that which can destroy even the deepest real feeling. The point is not that this great feeling is self-deception, but that although love is strong, it cannot live with indifference.

Indifference is when you don’t care where he (she) is, with whom, what kind of relationship they have, whether they have children, what the person does, how he feels when you look and don’t feel anything. When a loved one hurts us, I want to be indifferent to forget. But to forgive, one must also be alive, and take a chance to approach one more time.

What does it mean to be indifferent to another person? Does indifference exist immediately in contact with some person, or as a result of a relationship?

If we consider indifference as a character trait, there are people who are not sensitive, not empathetic, think only of themselves, are still cynical and prudent, all this in appearance gives the impression of indifference, even there really is. They really cannot be included in what is happening nearby, even in relationships that are meaningful to them. This is the structure of personality traits of such people, on the way of each person such a person can meet. We will not judge them, because there are no perfect ones, and we do not have such a right.

An indifferent colleague or boss is also not difficult to calculate. But there is a very subtle point: does personal and professional mix in work. Coming to solve a business problem, but relying on the personal qualities and understanding of the boss, a person can get hurt about his indifference when he cannot get into the situation and take into account the circumstances. Although in reality it can only be a matter of professional boundaries and the human situation is far from indifferent and understandable to the pain of the heart. But work is work and professional boundaries both on the border.

Indifference of a loved one, close to the heart of a person with whom many years have been spent together, whom you trust the most secret, whose words you believe, which you certainly don’t expect betrayal, and in general, who is close to you as a person, you don’t know why. You can scream, swear, slam the door, hysteria, cry, be jealous, try to talk, or vice versa speak the words of tenderness, love and recognition, more frankly and honestly than ever, but the person doesn’t care or think that he doesn’t care. In fact, it’s worth it to figure out what it really is. This may be a misunderstanding of what is happening, fatigue from clarifying relationships, tantrums and other ways to talk, inability or not at all the ability to withstand stress and conflicts, other psychological and personal processes that are not related to the conflict and a hundred more reasons that are not clear to another. But it can really be indifference. In the first case, you can try to clarify the reasons for this behavior, at the right time or place. This, of course, depends on relations between people, on the degree of intimacy and trust, on individual characteristics, on the family scenario and hundreds more reasons incomprehensible to another. But, if we are talking about the second option, for those who like to sort out and clarify the causes and consequences of indifference in this situation or relationship, you can look for the root of the problem. The question is different, what to do with this knowledge and whether it is possible (necessary) to change something. The most important question, in my opinion, is how the other person relates to the indifference of a loved one: getting hurt, jealous, worried, slams the door, hides in the bunker, still screams and tries to understand, cries, engages in another type of activity to distract himself, closes forever the offender, so as not to get hurt again. The choice is left to the person what to do next, to get hurt every time about it or to find reasons and other feelings in these relations. If, apart from indifference, there was nothing left or not, then there is also a choice: to remain in these relations or to leave, to distance oneself. Leaving with the indifference of the other is sometimes easier than when you have feelings, it is better to think that the other is bad and not on your way, and to go off like ships in the sea will hurt, of course, your heart, but then let it go.

But what if the near and dear person suddenly got cold? Sometimes, it’s easy to understand and forgive, accept and let go. Although indifference, there may be a sea of \u200b\u200bother feelings. And here indifference appears as a consequence of unmet need. Indifference on the verge of despair can devastate and never regain previous feelings. Betrayal, betrayal can also lead to indifference. But sometimes there is room for forgiveness: betrayal, betrayal, indifference can be healed by the great power of love and forgiveness. You can hide strong feelings behind indifference, walk and not notice a person with whom you really want warm and close relationships. Here the question remains open who will go closer and for what reasons people choose the mask of indifference. Someone is afraid of pain, or another pain, someone is unsure of himself and will not be able to survive the refusal, choosing not to know about the true feelings of another person, someone is principled and suitable only once, someone is afraid that that person is his I didn’t forgive and the initiative will worsen their already unstable relations, but someone simply expects that the other should approach himself and there are no other options in his picture of the world. Each has its own reasons and again a question of personal choice.

What about your own indifference? When you look at a person who was once close and dear and do not feel anything. Sometimes the desire for intimacy and intimacy itself are confused, and efforts to build close trusting relationships take a lot or too much. Then, on the border of despair, you leave, hands down, and then after a while you look at a stranger and think about what has connected you all this time. It is important to make the right choice, but no one knows for sure which one is right, especially when pain and despair close your eyes and feel nothing else, although this is not indifference and not indifference at all. How to relate to your own indifference? Be honest with yourself and another person. If you really are not attracted to a person who is close by any important parameters, it is important that he knows about it, at least it will be honest. And then the choice is up to him, how to relate to this and to us, what we are doing with it.

Indifference is a cause, effect, or human reality; it is not so important as the fact that in human relations there is a place for other feelings. Do not hide them behind a mask of indifference!

P.S. Be not indifferent so as not to make soul paralysis, but take care not to dissolve in others.

Indifference of people

We often hear such a word as indifference, sometimes we are even afraid of it. In time, it surrounds us, but we do not notice it. But why met with indifference Can't we always recognize him?

A person can sometimes pass by any crime, and even without calling for help, I reassure my own conscience that there is a police for this, this is only their business, but not mine.

Meanwhile, in this man who really needs our help, the last hope dies quietly and without a cry. And indifference as if it had nothing to do with it, because it did nothing to anyone, only some tiny little worm will nibble your conscience unremarkably.

An indifferent person, has a rather callous heart. Such a person, in most cases considers himself a romantic and does not believe in his own indifference. But romance and indifference, 2 mutually exclusive views. A romantic person feels strong and generous feelings, and indifferent is simply not able to do this.

Those people who have this same indifference simply hide it, hiding with completely different feelings.

The cause of indifference may well be alexithymia. A person who is in such a state does not know how to understand and show his own emotions, so he cannot accurately respond to the emotions of those around him. Their psyche is elementary and narrowly focused, and sometimes even they suffer from a certain lack of reflection. They cannot consider their own actions and personal emotions, as well as the causes of these same feelings.

Alexithymia is a condition where a person is not able to see his whole life in a single, as well as problems in communicating with other people.

Such a condition can be both natural and subsequently acquired. The basis of acquired aleximithia may be the reaction of the human body to sustained stress.

Also, the reasons for this phenomenon lie in the lack of love of parents for their children. The mistake of these parents is that they themselves teach children to hide their emotions in themselves. They do not try to understand the feelings and actions of their child, as a result, a person, when he grew up, is unable to experience this feeling of love.

It should also be noted that an indifferent person does not necessarily have alexithymia. At times, indifference arises from the mental laziness of the person himself. Such laziness forces a person to save his strength only for emotions and worries, leaving him deaf to other people's worries.

Unfortunately indifference is already incurableit is only possible try to soften with compassion.

At this time, hardheartedness and indifference live among people. Not all people agree with this, and this is understandable. Few people are capable and willing to admit their indifference. People cite rare but affirmative facts of their activities in life. Each, or almost every one of the people surveyed believes that he did a lot. But in most cases, this “a lot” was sent for relatives and friends of his family, and then for others - strangers. And only rare individuals brought help for unfamiliar, so-called - strangers. Yes, this is quite normal and logical, but going beyond the limits of one’s own native circle is unclear and foggy.

Often, you can hear complaints about the person who is effectively trying to help the needy, destitute and other categories of citizens. All the same tough answer sounds: “let yourself get out; he made the porridge; you need to think what you are doing; why should I help strangers. " You can see indifference everywhere. Are there wars, are there bloodsheds in the world; they die, are they sick, are they starving; and if interest arises, then in most cases there is hostility, and even contempt. Among the visible literacy, a man has gone far in his conceit. Hackneyed phrases: “mine is not mine; and without me, everything has long been decided; they’ll manage without me, but I’ll watch from the side. ” But it’s good if they only watched, but in an emotional outburst of passions, they begin to indicate, at the same time, not making efforts to change this or that situation. Even worse, if the observed subject did not succeed. Believe me, in this case, a person or society will pour disgusting dirt with all the ensuing consequences. But why complain and moan ? If you look deep into the problems, it can be noted that when it comes to a specific solution, an act, a person wants to adhere to a common opinion - like everyone else - so as not to look like a black sheep among a black flock; God forbid to be left with anything. All this indicates indifference.

In the system of education, culture, medicine, science, people's lives, there is a presence of indifference. Are there too many? A depressing structure is taking shape; an unpleasant picture looms up, alarming. Even if a person suffers nearby, having lost something or someone - we remain aloof, try to reduce meetings with such people to a minimum - this too, a kind of indifference - heartlessness.

Indifference is manifested in the everyday life of society: in enterprises, in schools, in business, etc. And all this begins far beyond the bounds of the gross form, that is, beyond the edge of physical matter.

There is stupid indifference in great discoveries when people with fear neglect them, while forgetting that if you do absolutely nothing, then you will not come to anything. Even in small societies, one can achieve lively activity, which, as a consequence, is ready to lead whole masses of people. But, only indifference, own lower "I" does not allow a person to take a step.

Indifference can be avoided if one realizes the meaning of Life on Earth; to realize - who we are, why we came to this World; if you realize yourself as a being, not just living on Earth, but by Man. If we learn to Love, we will come to compassion and mutual assistance. Each of us, being anywhere, is able to bring a grain of humanity into the life of society, and then a millionth of these particles organize a sparkling diamond of Life on Earth. Someone said: “I felt sorry for the people who were in trouble,” but his pity dissipated, at the first fear for his well-being; someone helped living in luxury - but only from excess; someone was in a hurry to help, but his help was only to grow in the eyes of the public, and to be able to take on time certain places, leadership positions. But it’s so good that among this multi-colored radiation of energies, we can observe selfless help saturated with compassion and Love for all living creatures of the World. People who carry such help bring harmony wherever they are.

Sometimes, one may hear the question: how to make this or that good action? What can be answered - with Love, expediency, the desire to come to the rescue. Where indifference flourishes, there is no future, but everything is doomed to extinction, for not a single good action has been performed in indifference and the absence of Love. Not a single high work of art could be created in indifference and without Love, but everything was created only for the benefit of future generations; the most powerful energy potential was laid: be it: a picture, music, prose, poem, etc., what do we have for happiness, at this time, not only to feel, but also to watch on theatrical productions.

Indifference should not be confused with expediency, because often, under the cause of indifference, clever excuses arise that carry only harm. But a wise person will be able to distinguish one from the other.

Situation 1: There is a child with parents - well-fed and well-dressed, and an orphan is standing nearby. What would you do, being in the place of these parents, what would be your actions?

Your task is not to set a bad example for the child without thereby instilling an indifferent attitude, and to solve the situation in an optimal way for all parties.

Usually, parents are strongly advised to bypass such people so as not to incur disaster or illness. The child remembers what happened for the rest of his life. But rarely, parents explain to the child that in the place of these people, at any moment, everyone can be, and then they will point at him with a finger, like at a leper. However, among the so-called homeless, beggars, abandoned, or, as they say "fallen", there are many literate, smart, hardworking individuals; just at one time, in the intractable current situation, no one came to their aid. Give him only hope, and he, like a flower that has come to life, is able to be nourished again by force, and to do a lot of useful, necessary-important things for society.

Situation 2: The child scoffs at defenseless animals, and other children are nearby. How should observers react in this situation, what actions would you take?

Usually observers are indifferent in this situation. Thus, as a consequence, they, with indifference, can observe how their comrades scoff at a person, society, country, world. Absolutely small, large-scale expiration of human achievements begins.

Situation 3:A first-grade student, high school students take money, seeing this situation, the teacher pass by without saying a word. In your opinion, did the teacher behave correctly that she should not interfere? What did she have to do to solve this situation and not remain indifferent?

In schools, teacher indifference can negatively affect a child. However, if you cultivate the high principles of life in him, he will be capable of a feat for the sake of not only people close to him, but also many kilometers away from him.

Also, doctors who are ready to bring harm to the healthy ones, or to try to heal, can simply remove it, having the ability to correctly present arguments in the correctness of their decision, are dangerous by their indifference. But in the case when it comes to his family, he quickly changes absolutely everything and acts as his title of Physician says. What is the reason?

One of the lowest crimes against a person is not passionate hatred, but indifference. That it is the main component of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw

Hatred and love for a person can be hidden, but indifference immediately catches the eye.

The feeling of hatred is not difficult to hide. Love, if you try, may also not be noticed. But the indifference of everyone is striking. Karl Ludwig Burne

Often in the human soul lives a huge and incomprehensible universe. But most of those around him simply do not notice.

Indifference to oneself is the main ethical tragedy of man.

Love and hate often live nearby, changing places. But if indifference comes, then there is not a single chance of salvation.

There are people on Earth who are indifferent to everything that happens in their country, in their city, in their home. They represent the most important danger to society. Mikhail Evgrafovich Saltykov-Shchedrin

Whether I’m still alive or already set off for another world - this does not bother anyone. I just do not care at all which of those around has already completed their earthly being. C. Palahniuk. "Fight club"

If you do not care about others, then you primarily spit in your soul. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

A great vice is indifference, dispassion. A small man with an ice in his heart is a future layman. Already in childhood, it is necessary to light in the heart of every person a spark of civic passion and intransigence to what is evil or condones evil. - Vasily Alexandrovich Sukhomlinsky

People will forgive me from indifference,

A woman is tormented not by the tyranny of a man, but by his indifference. - Jules Michelet

They say death kills a person, but not death kills. Kill boredom and indifference. - Iggy Paul

People now have no time for each other.

They easily agree with what they are indifferent to. - Valentin Grudev

Now there was only indifference in him, and it was worse than despair.

I don’t give a damn what you think about me, I don’t think about you at all. - Coco Chanel NN Unknown

People indifferent to everything fall into hibernation. - Emmanuel Mounier

The only thing I value in freedom is the struggle for it; owning it does not interest me - NN Unknown

Nothing emphasizes the beauty of the eyes so much as indifference in a cast of eyes. - Mikhail Mamchich / INDIVIDUALS

Do not be indifferent, for indifference is deadly to the soul of man. - Maksim Gorky

As someone put it, it’s enough to keep a controlled insanity. Cry, worry, be annoyed like any normal human being, while not forgetting that up there, your spirit makes fun of all this fuss. - Paulo Coelho

The hottest corners in hell are left for those who at the time of the greatest moral changes remained neutral. - Alighieri Dante

It is said that philosophers and true sages are indifferent. Untruth, indifference is paralysis of the soul, premature death. - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

He lived in a confrontation with everyone, although no one noticed ... - Mikhail Mamchich

It is better to be shocked by what you hear than to remain deaf to everything. - Leonid S. Sukhorukov Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Indifference is paralysis of the soul, premature death. - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

People live and do not see each other, walk side by side, like cows in a herd; in the best case, a bottle will be drunk together.

People who are called weak are only indifferent, for everyone will have strength when the subject of his passions is affected. - K. Helvetius

Desire is half-life, indifference is half-death. - Hal il Gibran Gibran

It hurts less when you just care. - "Dr. House"

The aquiline gaze of passions penetrates the foggy abyss of the future, but indifference is blind and dull from birth. - Claude Adrian Helvetius

Indifference is a serious illness of the soul. - Alexis Tocqueville

When it becomes indifferent to us how the one whom we love sees us, this means we no longer love him.

If you are indifferent to the suffering of others, you do not deserve the name of a person. - M. Saadi

The world will perish from indifference. - Emmanuel Mounier

Sometimes it’s not enough to come to terms with arrogance and swagger to turn them into nothing; sometimes it’s enough not to notice them to become harmless. - Nicola Sebastian Chamfort

The main enemy of love is indifference, not hatred. - Clive Lewis

Science has invented a cure for most of our diseases, but never found a cure for the worst of them - indifference - Helen Keller

Inseparable indifference is worse than unrequited love. - Yana Dzhangirova

Science has invented a cure for most of our diseases, but has never found a cure for the most terrible of them - indifference. - Helen Keller

Indifference is a serious illness of the soul. - A. Tocqueville

I feel very clearly that the opposite of love is not hatred, but indifference. - Leonardo Felice Buskalya

Indifference can be the most powerful revenge for the offense. - George Alexandrov

Indifference is a powerful force acting in history. - Antonio Gramsci

Do not be indifferent, for indifference is deadly to the soul of man. - M. Gorky

It is easy to hide hatred, it is difficult to hide love, and it is most difficult to hide indifference. - Karl Ludwig Burnet

Where moderation is a mistake, indifference is a crime. - G. Lichtenberg

An indifferent person or “do not care” is a character that perfectly complements the picture of the world today and even claims to be “positive”. Having set a goal, he is able to concentrate on it to such an extent that other areas of his life (including caring for the welfare of loved ones) will fade into the background.

This ability in modern society is called determination (some psychologists call it relative nonsense) and is considered a positive quality. The absolute “nonsense” from the relative is different in that it is indifferent not only to the needs of other people, but also to its own.

The ideal form of indifference is considered reasonable "do not care." The attractiveness of this form of indifference is that, no matter what impression this person leaves about himself, he will remain indifferent in any situation, “not noticing” negative events. But if he does notice something negative, he will not attach any importance to it.

Sociologists call the indifference of a person’s conscious refusal to participate in changes concerning not only his own life, but also the life of society. The indifferent does not worry about others, is prone to inaction and is constantly in a state of apathy.

Indifference is common to many people and does not arise without reason. One indifferent person from childhood received everything he wanted, grew up selfish, used to think only of himself and he did not give a damn about the rest. Another, brought up in an atmosphere of mutual respect, but found himself in a situation where evil did the good he did, lost faith in justice and deliberately turns a blind eye to someone’s cruelty.

People of the second type, not wanting the unpleasant situation to happen again, are removed from what is happening and often pass by cruelty. But there is also a third type of people. “Everyone gets what they deserve. Interfering, I prevent them from correcting what their ancestors did or they themselves, in their past lives, ”is the train of their thoughts.

About the causes of indifference

One of the reasons for indifference may be a mental disorder - a condition in which a person is not able to show emotions. Compassion is a feeling inaccessible to his understanding. Such people are often called pragmatists, phlegmatic people, crackers, but offensive words cannot change the situation, especially if the cause of the mental disorder is serious physical trauma.

No less dangerous are adolescent psychological and bodily injuries received due to love experiences. A young but indifferent person, even once having experienced strong mental (or bodily) pain, can forever lose faith in people.

The lack of affection and warmth experienced in childhood is also a good “building material”. According to statistics, most indifferent people were “disliked” in childhood.

“People, stay indifferent!” (Psycho motto)

Psychiatry specialists often replace the word “indifference” with the medical terms “apathy” and “detachment”. Official medicine considers stoic calm characteristic of an indifferent person as a serious mental deviation.

Apathy is a psychological disorder that awaits absolutely everyone, both lucky and losers. It can occur in any person, regardless of their psychological and material viability. The main cause of apathy, and, consequently, indifference, some doctors call boredom. It is from boredom, according to a group of specialists, that even the happiest families who have the job of their dreams and bring up talented and obedient children are not immune.

Also the cause of the disease can be fatigue - both emotional and physical. An indifferent person often suffers from attacks, he is depressed, does not make acquaintances and does not make plans. His own life seems dull and useless to him.

The situation can turn a cheerful and sociable person into an indifferent and apathetic:

when he is in tension for a long time;

unable to rest;

survived the death of loved ones or dismissal from work;

when an indifferent person, adapting worse in society than others, is ashamed of his natural needs;

suffers from misunderstanding from others;

is under pressure from a person on whom it depends;

when he takes hormonal drugs.

Psychologists advise to look for the causes of indifference in the patient’s inner world - where all his insults and desires “live”. Psychologists see indifference as a way to defend themselves from stress and negativity.

Many people with psychological disorders deliberately put on a “mask” of indifference in the hope of shutting themselves off from the hostile world that has so long rejected them.

Indifference through the eyes of a philosopher

Philosophers regard indifference as a moral problem, based on the lost awareness of the significance of each person as a unique individual. Gradually turning into a tool to achieve their own goals, considering each other as a commodity, people themselves become things.