We broke up, but we work together - how to behave? Love relationship: broke up, but continue to kiss, hug, sleep.
Irina Nilovna, help me, please give advice. I met with a young man for 3 years. And 1.5 months ago he said that he was tired of constant quarrels, of my misunderstanding, jealousy, of my insults in his direction, of an unkind attitude to the friends of his friends and that we need to leave once and for all. But the fact is that during the weeks that we broke up, he calls me every day, says he loves. And to my suggestion: “Let's try again. Let's make peace and start dating again,” he was annoyed at first, but now he says that life will show. Sometimes the phrases slip: "Be patient" or "You do not know how to wait," "You want it to be your way."
I do not know what to do. It seems to be sometimes easier, and sometimes I just choke in tears. I constantly blame myself for abandoning me. In the soul lives the hope that he is about to return. But the mind tells us that this will not happen.
Tell me what to do and what to think.
Anastasia, Tyumen region, 21 years old
The answer of the art psychologist:
Hello Anastasia!
First, try to get rid of guilt. Both partners are responsible for the relationship in the pair. Draw conclusions from those mistakes that were made, but do not destroy yourself by self-discipline. If your fashion person chose you and loves, then he is responsible for everything that happens no less than you. Second, if you broke up, then parted. It's up to you, but try to stop these calls. Tell the young man that you have realized your mistakes and understand the reason for his mistakes, that you are ready to continue relations at a different level of understanding and attention to each other, but he must make a decision “yes” or “no”. And while he did not accept it for himself, then let him not call and do not bother you, otherwise it all seems like a manipulation. He doesn’t leave you, he doesn’t let you live peacefully (he keeps under control), and he doesn’t return. Give him a time to think (a week, two, a month - how much he needs). Let him make a masculine decision. So you only torture yourself, but it’s of little use. Decide, and quite tough, as a man should be responsible for his words. Once he left, he left, and calls with confessions are not serious. Perhaps it will sober him up. Only withstand this deadline. Let him call first and communicate the final decision. And while you indulge him, he will continue to manipulate you.
Sincerely, Irina Fuseynikova, art psychologist
We broke up two years ago, but I still love him. He was my first man - both in sex and in love. For almost a year, everything was perfect - a sea of \u200b\u200bromance, not a single scandal, we understood each other less than a word, even the calls were intuitive - it was only worth thinking about each other. It seems like nonsense, but that was how it was.
I had to move, and we parted, and parted, probably more on my initiative, or rather, no one even discussed it, and I said that, probably, we should not even call up to forget about each other as quickly as possible. For six months we talked on the Internet, but did not call up, then I came to visit my friend, arrived, I called, and he immediately put aside all his affairs in order to meet. It was as before, as if I had not gone anywhere.
When I came back, he also accompanied me, although he had a lot to do and work ... We talked on the Internet again, and about a month later I decided to go back to him, I asked if he wanted me to come, to which he replied that it was not worth torturing himself and said: "No." It was terrible, but because of my stupidity, I quit my job and came back when we met, it was just terrible, we trampled each other with some stupid things, and then stopped talking at all.
All this time I had a friend (let's call him "M") who paid every attention to me in every possible way, we corresponded (he also lived in another city) and sometimes met (he came home). I got a job, continued to communicate with M, understood that I was becoming something dear to him, but continued to think about that past, but at the same time beloved and unique. As a result, that person whom I love, moved, not wanting to meet with me, but only called goodbye and said that I would be the best and will forever remain in his memory, and if he did not see me, then this is his problem, and not mine…
A few days later, with a terrible depression, I drop everything and go to the “M”, because he invited me to him for a long time, after spending a week with him, I understand that he loves me more than life, he suggested that I move to him, for which I answered: "Yes." Within 3 months I married him. No, I can’t say that I’m completely cold towards him ... I have a feeling of respect for him, and I’m probably reassuring myself that I will not find a person who would truly love me, although I would very much like to start loving and forget those relationships.
Now we periodically communicate, after which I have tantrums, sometimes I dream of him, and it seems to me that this short dream is the most precious thing left of him. How do I forget it? When I got married, I hoped that thanks to the love of “M”, I would forget him and also love “M”.
I still feel it, if I dream about it, it’s worth checking my mail, and when we communicate, I can easily say that he has a heart-breaking sentiment that periodically ends with nothing. Once we talked about the past, I tried to find out why it all happened, he didn’t answer anything to me, although he said a lot when I said: “You just do not love me and you never loved”, he again said nothing. I just don’t understand why so? And I don’t understand him ... How to forget? And how to understand all this?
Recently broke up with a girl, met for 3 years. She was constantly dissatisfied, I constantly gave her flowers, gave presents for every holiday, drove to the sea. But the better I treated her, the worse she treated me. One day her friend called her, and she walked with me, they talked for half an hour. I told her what nonsense? She replied that it was just a friend. But I was tired of such a disdainful attitude and I decided to leave. Now she calls me every day, finds out how things are, communicates warmly and wants to return everything. But I do not know, this is my first such relationship, and I do not want to return anything. Just tired of giving it all, but she is constantly unhappy. If anyone had such a bitter experience, share it. Can I find a way out of this situation?
How to behave if you have feelings for a person, but according to him you are “friends”?We are in October broke up with a young manbut kept friendly. For my part, it is more love than friendships. Not so long ago, we talked to him again, after which he indicated that I was a good friend. What is interesting to communicate with me, I always listen, I am smart, beautiful and he likes to sleep with me. The last sexual contact we had in January. He says that due to the fact that he has exams on his nose, a diploma, university entrance, work, he has absolutely no time to sit down and carefully consider our relationship with him. But he doesn’t want to lose me either. How to be Try to be friends and just see what it leads to? We kiss, hug, sometimes sleep together, does it look like friendships?
Love relationship: broke up, but continue to kiss, hug, sleep
Hello, Natalya.There are men who are afraid of a serious relationship. And so they reduce relations to friendships, but at the same time keep a girl next to them and promise nothing to her. You need to decide what you want from life and this young man. You let him treat you like that, here he behaves like that. In general, in life we \u200b\u200bare treated as we allow ourselves to be treated.
In order to be loved, first you love yourself, respect yourself. And if a guy considers you just a friend, then you can just chat, without sex and kisses.
Sincerely, psychologist Valentina Veklich.
In this worldly world one day, two halves meet - He and She. Each couple has a scenario for the development of relations: a love story begins, unfolds and, sadly, comes to an end.
There are many reasons for parting: misunderstanding, accumulated grievances, treason and just the feeling that the relationship has reached an impasse.
Almost all stories have a beautiful beginning, but not everyone is able to put a beautiful point. It is difficult to collect thoughts and say calmly: "I'm sorry, we need to leave." The voice can treacherously tremble, and tears will pour from the eyes.
If parting is inevitable, try writing a farewell letter to a guy or beloved man.
Girls, of course, are subtle creatures, but often they are the ones who take the liberty and say the last goodbye. Writing about breaking up is much easier. 
You can write a message in your own words or use the samples that we have prepared for you.
Farewell letter to a guy
For example, this:
“Hello, Zaya. You will probably be surprised that I am writing you a letter. We are used to talking to you. True, recently all our conversations have ended in quarrels. I thought for a long time, understood myself, analyzed our relationship and realized: this could not go on.
I have already forgiven you. And goodbye! ”
Whom you love
“Dear, good, beloved! I pulled myself together and decided to write to you in a letter everything that I can not express in words at a meeting. Our love has turned into some one-sided ugly entity. I see that my efforts to establish relationships do not lead to anything. 
You rarely began to call, perceive our meetings as a heavy duty. I'm not stone, and I feel it all.It hurts me, it’s hard, I won’t pretend to be strong. I will cry, miss and worry about you.
But so be it, I let you go free swimming. Fly towards your happiness. Unfortunately, I have not been able to make you happy. Let it all work out with another girl. Maybe you already have someone, but you're afraid to say. Fly, my good, fly!
I'm letting you go Forever and ever. Goodbye!"
Who offended
"Hi baby. I am writing you a farewell message in prose. On poems and rhymes there is not enough mental strength. My strength went away with tears, which I with great difficulty stopped to put an end to our history.
We began to quarrel often, to say offensive words to each other. We became alien and incomprehensible to each other. Hands are no longer affectionate, there are no previous strong hugs and ... nothing at all. 
Let's confess to each other that our love has turned into nothing, we have destroyed it with our efforts. My resentment is too great to continue the relationship.
We are breaking up. Sorry and goodbye!"
Who changed
"My dear! How hard it is for me to gather my thoughts and tell you everything. Even in the letter when you do not see my tear-stained face. I know that you betrayed me. No not like this. You betrayed our love, our beautiful days and nights. Your deed showed that I mean absolutely nothing to you.
Apparently, I have become your habit. You out of habit call, out of habit come in and even apologize out of habit. Somehow you feel insensitive and insincere. Why do we need extra problems? Both of us need to change something in life. You have already begun.
Bon voyage, dear! I forgive you and let you go. Forever and ever." 
The former
"Hi Hi! I don’t even know how to contact you now. The heart beats and shouts to you “beloved”, “dear”, “unique”, and the mind is sobering and “the former” says about you. Yes, you were a wonderful, wonderful moment in my life. Now it seems that everything was a dream. It was morning, and our love dissolved.
After our separation, days and nights ceased to exist for me. I lived as if in some impenetrable fog. But the heavenly forces have mercy, the fog is slowly dissolving, I see the horizon. This means that I live and breathe deeply again.
You may no longer be in my reality, but no one will vomit you from my heart. Memories of our meetings will always warm and reassure me. Forgive me for all. Remember us. There was love. Goodbye!"
Beloved husband
“My dear, dear man. Life decreed that you and I from two halves turned into two loneliness. I think of you every minute, my heart lives by you alone. How did it happen that we are breaking up? 
Remember our first meeting - our burning eyes, excitement and unquenchable desire to be together. Remember our days and nights? Remember how we missed each other?
Is love doomed to death, like all living things in this world? If I love, how can you not love? Somehow it’s wrong, unfair. Feelings must be mutual.
Maybe so many problems fell upon you that you stopped hearing the voice of your heart? I will pray heaven that your heart will be freed from captivity, that love will rise in your soul. I wish you well, light, warmth and, of course, love!
Forgive me. And goodbye! ”
Video: Letter to a loved one
Married man
“Good, not my man. How difficult it is to write a letter to a loved one! I had no right to fall in love with you, but I could not resist the surging feelings. It is amazing that you did not resist.
I do not know what to call our relationship, but they were beautiful, like a dream. Sad as it may seem, it is time for both of us to wake up, to look each other’s eyes for the last time, to put each other in our arms for the last time and leave.
You are married, return to your family, gather your strength and solve manly all the problems that have fallen on you. At first, it will probably be difficult, you will rush back, but this is the way to go. A beautiful dream dissolved in the rays of the clear sun, it was time to look into the face of reality. 
Be happy with the one who is your legal wife. After all, you once loved her. I wish you reunion, understanding, warmth and light. I no longer want to cause your quarrels and pain.
Forgive me and let me go ”
Who threw
"My favorite! Sorry, I can’t call you another way, because I love and will always love. It hurts me, it offends me to tears. Burning tears - this is what warms me in the last days and weeks. And before your hands and lips warmed me.
My heart rejoiced and did not believe in my happiness. It beat like a free bird, ready to break out of the chest. And now it beats muffledly and doomed, as if forever imprisoned in a dungeon. 
Why did you go away? He did not explain anything, did not say goodbye, did not hug. Just disappeared from my life - that's all. I can’t believe that life goes on, and you’re not around, and will no longer be. I believe in a miracle that you change your mind and want to return. Know, my good, that I will always open my arms to meet you. I will be faithful to you until the end of my days.
Remember this. And be happy! ”
You don't love
"Dear friend! I'm glad that I met you on a life journey. You are a wonderful, sincere, interesting person. You know how to love and care beautifully. I'm sorry I can't reciprocate you. My heart does not respond to the call of your heart. You probably guess it yourself.
I can no longer meet with you and continue this deception. Thank you for the love and warmth that you generously give, but, believe me, I'm not the one who will reciprocate. Let's part as friends until our relationship is at an impasse. Keep this farewell letter and remember that I was honest with you. 
Forgive me a hundred thousand times and let go once. Goodbye!"
SMS letter
Modern girls can end a relationship by sending their ex-boyfriend a farewell message.
Here are some examples:
“Hare, it's all over between us. Goodbye!"
“This can no longer go on, love has passed, the tomatoes have withered!”
“Sorry, it's over; we are no longer together. Goodbye"
Remember that sending the "last" SMS is dangerous. There is a high probability of receiving in response a lot of perplexed or even insulting messages. A beautiful one-way letter on paper will indicate the seriousness of your intentions.
The choice, of course, is yours. Perhaps you, like Tatyana Larina, will want to rhyme with your last message.
Touching poems
Everything in this world is not forever
Everything in the world is visible edge.
I will hug you on the shoulders
And whisper: "Forgive me, goodbye."
No extra explanation needed
No need for tears and insults.
May there be no love between us
Let's part as friends.
It is difficult to decide and send a farewell letter to the guy, even if it is already written. In any case, splashing out your pain and resentment is better on paper than in the face of a loved one.
Who knows, suddenly this message will take your relationship to a new level, help to resolve the accumulated misunderstandings and establish shaky relationships. Be happy!
