Psychologists told how to behave in order to make a good impression. How to make a good impression: important rules
There are two types of women: those who attract men and those who want to impress them.
Any woman can learn how to impress a man. Start with self-confidence. A woman who doubts words and deeds will not make a proper impression on a man.
Express emotions
One of the differences between women and men is that women do not hide emotions. Feel free to meet, be natural.
Know the measure: it’s not worth every time to cry when he tells a sad story or laugh to tears after another flat joke.
Dress correctly
Choose clothes for a figure that will hide imperfections and highlight advantages. Look sexy but not defiant.
For example, for an evening trip to a restaurant or for a walk, dress up in a black dress with a beautiful neckline, but choose not too open. The riddle must be in behavior and in appearance.
Offer to pay the bill
Such an act will tell the man that you are not interested in the size of the wallet, but in his personality.
Smile
A sincere smile will impress even the most gloomy man. Do not replay so that the man does not think that he is a clown or that something is wrong with you.
Keep your teeth clean. Make sure that the remnants of parsley and sesame seeds after salad for lunch do not spoil a beautiful smile.
Don't settle for everything
Men do not like women to agree to all offers. Argument every point of view that will be different from it. You will not be bored with such an interlocutor, and the man will remain impressed.
At the same time, do not provoke quarrels. Know how to concede if your views are very different.
Change hairstyles
Experiment with hairstyles in your free time. Men love when a woman changes. Dressing up in a dress with an open neck, dissolve hair: leave them straight or make curls.
Follow the smell of hair - a pleasant smell will impress the guy and will remain in your memory.
Have a hobby
Talking constantly about work or the weather, you quickly get bored with each other. A girl who has hobbies and talks about it with pleasure is the dream of any man.
Be smart
The statement “men do not like smart women” is listened to by not very smart men and stupid women.
Each woman should maintain a conversation and share interesting thoughts. Silent girls will impress men, but not what they would like.
Because of nervousness, women often start a conversation with mundane topics: discussing the weather or the latest news. Be mindful and maneuver while talking on interesting topics for men.
Use the perfume
Use flavors that match the time of year and venue. Do not strangle too much - it is annoying.
Address him by name
Use this advice on your first date and regular meetings. Turning to a partner by name, you make it clear that everything said is related specifically to him.
Remember yourself, is it nice when a man calls you by name?
Are expensive things impressive for men?
Men do not pay attention to the brands that you wear (if it is not).
A girl who looks neat, knows how to maintain a conversation and has her own point of view will make a better impression on any man.
To conquer a man from the first minutes of acquaintance, to be remembered, to make an indelible impression is, of course, the first and very important step on the path to winning someone's heart. Each girl dreams of being irresistible, to stand out among other women, to create her own special, unique image.
What needs to be done to impress a man at the first meeting, and what should not be done in any case? Attack or defend, how to choose the right tactics? Let's talk about different approaches to the art of causing sympathy.
Inner sense of taste or all is well in moderation
Everyone knows that there is no second chance to make a first impression. Maybe that's why you are so nervous? A universal recipe - to relax and be natural, would suit everyone, but because of the desire to like it, and certainly right away, it works very badly.
Individual characteristics
Appearance, the right style and the correspondence of the external image to the internal content, of course, play a huge role. We are still greeted by clothes, so you can’t give any importance to how you look.
However, if you want to create a unique impression, you must add an individual note to your image. You are not a perfect picture, but. What distinguishes you from others, and makes you special, unique. Therefore, do not be shy about a disheveled hairstyle or, for example, a scattering of freckles.
Accept and love your whole self, with an imperfect nose shape or large foot size. As soon as you become good enough for yourself, the surrounding men will begin to think the same about you.
Neverbalika
Do you know that most of the impression of us consists of the so-called non-verbal behavior? Gestures, facial expressions, the manner of moving or sitting, posture, smile, sharpness or smooth movements - all this gives out your inner mood, conveys the true mood and inner train of thought.
Our interlocutor reads 55% of the information about us through non-verbal communication. Do not forget about this when meeting, remember that what is important is not what you say, but how you say, and what your hands and eyes are busy with.
Do you know what your compatibility with a man is?
To find out, just click on the button below.
Avoid theatricality, and remember that deliberate will be noticeable through unnaturalness in your behavior. Try not to focus on giving yourself and on the impression you make, but on what the other person is telling you.
Be congruent
It depends very much on your internal state how much a pleasant impression you can make on a man. Your behavior should correspond to it. Attempts to seem open and sincere will have the opposite effect if you are actually internally clamped and cold.
Do not try to be who you are not at the moment. Be embarrassed if you are embarrassed, angry if something is not to your liking. Do not be afraid to seem cold, or vice versa, too relaxed. Just “convey” your sympathy to the interlocutor and you will see that the matter will not be in response to interest.
Flirt as an art
What is the art of flirting, if not the ability to properly submit yourself to this particular man? If you need to learn how to flirt. Let's look at the main points that should be mastered first.
Naturalness, relaxation, good mood
I suppose a gloomy and reserved man will not like you either. Just like a timid man, from which words cannot be pulled.
Smile, relax, broadcast your condition and good mood. If you are embarrassed in male society - exercise. Meet more often, go on dates more often. Learn to control emotions if you are very emotional, or vice versa, to show them if you are shy.
Bodily and eye contact
The art of watching and touching correctly can work real miracles.
Straight keen eye-to-eye look. Just not continuous, it makes anyone nervous. If you want a man to pay attention to some part or part of the body (hands, lock of hair) - touch it with your hand or look at it yourself.
It’s not so difficult to control the person’s eyes. After making eye contact, you can make him move beyond your gaze.
It is also important to touch the man correctly and on time (not too early). If you are on a date in a cafe or restaurant - accidentally touching your hands while trying to take salt or a napkin will be ideal. If you are on a walk, you can lean on his hand to overcome the obstacle, or even imitate a fall, make him catch you.
Keeping the conversation going
Naturally, the ability to maintain and develop dialogue is the most important aspect of flirting art. In the conversation you have the opportunity to demonstrate your ability to understand a man, share his point of view and take his position, even if it differs from yours.
Remember the main thing - your behavior means a lot to a man, but if there is no harmony at the level of signs, then the relationship will be very tense. It is very advisable to find out the exact compatibility of your zodiac sign with the sign of a man. This can be done by clicking on the button just below:
The most correct impression of a person is formed in the first minutes and hours of communication. It is at these moments that people make a subconscious decision about their future relationship: is it worth getting closer or better to stay away. Quite often, over time, the opinion may change, but my experience says that something the initial feeling will be true. If something pushes away at a glance, it's worth listening. This does not necessarily mean that the person is bad, but he most likely does not suit you. So, if at all costs you want to please a new acquaintance, you should focus on the first impression that you are going to make. The key here is “by all means,” that is, for some reason you desperately need it. Well, I don’t know whether you want to sleep, get married or milk and quit.
To get started, throw out of your head the image of a good, regular, sexy and any other woman whom you intend to appear.
A universal scheme does not exist, so spend the first ten minutes studying the object. Who is he and what does he want? You have to adapt to his request. Guessing it is not so difficult. Watch what a person broadcasts, how he tries to please you, and design for him an ideal interlocutor - not the same, but complementary.
In accordance with this image, you should dress, and it’s difficult, you don’t know in advance what is expected of you. Therefore, clothing should be flexible. Suppose you have a strict blouse on top, if you are expected to have a “good girl”, and underneath is a pretty seductive shirt, if the person you are talking to is flirting: during the course of the play you will understand whether to show it.
And for God's sake, don't dress up. Now that the most backward strata of the male population have learned the word “louboutins”, too expensive or sexual thing will only compromise you: it will show that you too clearly want to steam yourself.
You "seemed" outwardly, and now it's time to express yourself, demonstrating your bright and attractive personality. It’s time for us to spit, but the problem is that sometimes you shouldn’t be so bright as you really are. Mild humor - yes, but too many people are completely deprived of self-irony, so refrain from maliciousness. Try to do without harsh statements about politics. In our amusing time, this often gets into a conversation, and you can easily end up in different camps. In this case, no matter how balanced your opinion may be, the label "fool" is provided.
If possible, do not talk about money, you will be immediately suspected. Do not try to “subtle” questions to find out his social status, to establish the presence of a wife, children and understand the views on marriage.
Such tricks are sewn with white thread and betray a predatory damsel in you, which you may be, but why show it.
Do not swear and try not to joke below the waist. No, I’m not saying that you are one of those who blow your nose into the curtain if you don’t warn in time, but sometimes when the conversation is good, it’s unacceptable to relax. There are topics that categorically should not be addressed. Once I had a virtualization with an Internet friend. We dived, measured some kind of blogging ratings, I was amused and blurted out "yes you have a member less than my heels." Giggled and parted, after which he disappeared tightly, and after a couple of months, a girl close to her body hinted that the joke was extremely unsuccessful, because yes. And I still did not understand why he then wrote for a long time about women who strive to step with stilettos to a sore spot.
The trouble is that you will never guess where a person has a sore spot: in his wallet, in his pants, or his mother never loved him. Therefore, be careful and careful, formal politeness has not let anyone down yet.
And most importantly: keep track of yourself how much you had to grimace in this conversation, hold your tongue, portray the one that you really are not. If you had to act too much, it's time to think about whether you need such a victory. It is unlikely that you are trying to glue a man for one night, and if you have far-reaching plans, then communication with this person will turn into constant violence against yourself, into a continuous emotional, intellectual and sexual service. God sees, not one of the most enviable goals deserves to break themselves like that. Look better than someone with whom you will not have to cunning, well, perhaps just a little bit.
Is the statement correct that first impression of a person the most true? Or vice versa, the one who says that the first impression is deceiving is right? How to make a good first impression and at the same time make a correct picture of a person?
Numerous experiments and studies conducted in the West suggest that the first impression of a person is the most accurate and true. Experts say that to determine our attitude to a stranger, to determine the degree of his attractiveness, we need up to 4 minutes.
It is difficult to argue here, for the most part we all pay attention to the first impression, and it is this effect that affects our further perception of man. If you fully trust your intuition, your intuition, then you will not be revealed to a person who did not like you at first sight. Therefore, if it is important for you to establish the necessary connections, to make acquaintance with a specific person, pay attention to creating a good first impression.
How to make a first impression
To make a good first impression on a particular person, the main thing to know is that a person chooses friends in his own image. That is, whether a person has a sympathy for you or not, depends on the degree of similarity of your characters, interests and outlooks on life. Even resemblance affects the first impression. Therefore, the moment of adjustment for the interlocutor is important here (you can learn more about what the connection technique from the article - “ Manipulation Methods»).
Knowing a person in absentia, you can prepare for the meeting. But there are universal first impression rules, to know and consider which, in order to present themselves in the best light, is profitable and useful.
Pay attention to appearance
The appearance and image of a person is what we pay attention to first of all.
An important component of the appearance design is the style of clothing, which is considered as an image of one's own “I” person. Evaluating a person’s clothing style, and making up a first impression of him, we pay attention to such features as:
- Neatness of clothes. A poorly dressed person usually arouses sympathy and a desire to help him, and a sloppy and untidy person causes rejection and disgust;
- Matching clothes to the situation. It is clear that a tracksuit is not suitable for a business meeting, it looks ridiculous and can cause distrust among others. It is also ridiculous to go to a club in a three-piece suit, or for a dinner party in ripped jeans.
- Compliance with established stereotypes. If you are a representative of the business world, give preference to a conservative style, if you are a person in a creative profession, your appearance should speak of independence and individuality.
Assessing the attractiveness of a person, and forming the first impression of him, many pay attention to his face (look, smile, expression). An expressive person is considered attractive, radiating calmness, confidence and goodwill.
An important role in the formation of the first impression is played by posture. Good posture speaks of a person’s confidence and optimism, of his inner strength. Bad posture is a manifestation of low self-esteem, subordination, and dependence.
An important factor in the first impression is movement and gestures. What you are not talking about is manifested in them. A person feels tensed or at ease by his gait. Gestures, body reaction will give out your temperament and state of mind.
- Open gestures indicate a desire for communication, psychological openness. They appear in non-crossed and open positions of the arms and legs, in a slightly raised head. If the hands are in motion, then these gestures are usually soft, smooth and rounded.
- Closed gestures indicate psychological closeness. They appear in the crossing of arms and legs, in the "pose of the castle", when the fingers are clenched. The head is lowered, a look from underneath, hands can be hidden (under the table, in pockets, behind the back, etc.), all this looks like a defensive position.
Harmony in appearance, as you understand this combination of many different factors. Keep this in mind when making contact with people.
In many ways, the voice is a reflection of the character of a person. The way we say affects our image in the eyes of others. We subconsciously, and even consciously associate the sound of the voice with the specific characteristics of the individual. Even in moments when we do not see the interlocutor, but only hear him (for example, talking on the phone), anyway, we have some kind of idea about him.
A shrill voice is associated with the hysteria of a person and his imbalance. Fast and confused speech betrays an insecure person. The lingering voice says that the person is sensual, but cautious. The one whose voice sounds sluggishly may seem inconsiderate. A positive mood, cheerfulness is indicated by a sonorous voice. And the voice of some people is so beautiful that you don’t even understand what they are saying.
A significant part of the first impression we get from the rhythm of speech and the timbre of the voice. In addition, analyzing the style and content, it is easy to get an idea about the cultural level of a person. You can also judge by voice human experience, about the degree of its development.
Learn how to present yourself correctly
People rarely use self-promotion and self-promotion in order to declare itself. But this has the most important role in making a positive first impression. Self-presentation is the ability to focus the attention of people around you on your obvious merits and to divert attention from your shortcomings. But do not immediately talk about all your merits and advantages, it is better to try to win the favor of your new acquaintance with eloquence, originality of judgments, wit.
Show true interest in the person you are talking to
Even Dale Carnegie said that the most significant person for any person is himself. So, deciding to demonstrate your charm, show a sincere interest in the person with whom you communicate. Ask him a couple of minor questions and be prepared to listen to a detailed answer (useful here ability to listen to the interlocutor), do not interrupt. Show your interest in what he says. Kindly, but do not fool!
Don't be intrusive
Do not rush things, for the first meeting it will be enough neutral - restrained conversation. Do not immediately confuse a person with requests or offer something. If the interlocutor says “Goodbye, I was glad to meet you,” do not insist on continuing the conversation.
Do not be fooled, speak only the truth
If you do not know the answer to the asked question, honestly admit it. Such frankness makes a good first impression and causes only respect. Do not ascribe to yourself non-existent qualities and advantages, anyway in the future you will have to admit that at the first meeting you exaggerated somewhat.
You will not have a second chance to make a first impression. It doesn't matter job interview, business meeting or first date, remember that first impression will remain for a long time, and it will take a long time before new information can change it.
P.S. Each of us has the experience of a mistaken first impression. It happens that at first people appear before us almost in the guise of an angel, but they are not worthy of verification. And vice versa, the person at the beginning did not make a worthy impression on us, in the future becomes the best friend. No one is immune from a mistake, but in order to avoid it, you need to give a person a second chance, no matter what the first impression of him is.
P.S.S. People accustomed to judge a person by specific cases do not attach much attention to the first impression. This must also be taken into account.
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We all often want to produce not just a good, but a stunning first impression. And we know that for this we need to behave at ease, call the interlocutor by name and avoid closed poses.
But, you see, sometimes this is not enough. It seems that the behavior is natural, and the arms are not crossed, but Marya Ivanovna still considers you not to be a couple to her son. So what else is needed?
1. The Pygmalion Effect
The famous psychologist Robert Rosenthal called the Pygmalion effect a phenomenon in which a person, being sure of something, acts so as to find real confirmation of this.
If we are sure in advance that Marya Ivanovna is not a very pleasant lady and that she won’t succeed in charming her, we will unconsciously act in such a way as to confirm this. Therefore, it is better to tune in to the fact that the person with whom you will be acquainted will be glad to see you.
And something else. Based on this effect, an experiment was conducted during which it was proved: if a person believes that he is attractive to you, then he begins to behave more openly and friendly. So, if there is an opportunity, let somebody tell Marya Ivanovna before your meeting that you already like her.
2. The Pratfell Effect
Often in the company of unfamiliar people, we try to show ourselves from the best side. We are worried, we are trying to hide it, we are even more worried, and as a result we are hiding in a corner, dreaming of faster being at home in our favorite bed. Here psychologists recommend taking into account the Pratfell effect, according to which the best way to win the favor of others is to show vulnerability, weakness, slight oversight.
In this regard, we could not help but recall the talented Jennifer Lawrence, who fell for three years in a row in front of almost the whole world, but her popularity did not suffer from this at all, but even vice versa. Although, of course, the talent of the actress played a decisive role in this.
3. The effect of attraction similarities
This term belongs to the psychologist Theodore Newcomb, who established during his research that the more people have common views and habits, the stronger they like each other. It is especially interesting that the interlocutors cause great sympathy, with whom we have similarities in negative terms. Case for small: find these common ground, after all, few people at the meeting begin to talk about themselves, especially about their shortcomings.
4. Points of contact
Vanessa van Edwards, the author of The Science of Communication, compares our thoughts with tangles, and general topics for conversation with connecting strings. She thinks that there are three main categories of topics for communicating with unfamiliar people. To start a conversation, you need a phrase that opens this topic and that same connecting “thread”. We will tell you what this means, for example, Maria Ivanovna, to whom you came to the anniversary.
- People Category - mutual acquaintances, that is, her son, say, Paul. Opening phrase: “Paul has a great ear for music.”
Thread: “And what talents do you have?” - Category "Context" - the event that connected you, that is, the anniversary. Opening phrase: “Great restaurant!”
Thread: "Who advised him to you?" - Interests Category - Actually, interests.
Opening phrase: “I saw your photos from Greece.”
Thread: “What did you like most there?”
Pay attention to the strings-questions: they should not be closed, that is, suggest answers “yes” or “no” if you want to talk to the interlocutor.
5. Talking about yourself
5 different studies have confirmed: people like to talk about themselves (not so much about skeletons in the closet, but about personal experience). At such moments in humans, a brain zone is activated, which scientists call the pleasure center(she is responsible for the feeling of pleasure). Moreover, in one experiment, participants refused a monetary reward in favor of the opportunity to talk about themselves.
6. The perfect conversation scenario
Networking experts (establishing useful contacts) offer the following dialogue scenario with the person you want to like:
- "You". After shaking hands and presenting to each other, some general question will be appropriate in which you will take an interest in the opinion of the interlocutor:
how do you like the weather How was the ride? how is your mood? - "You". At this stage, it is important to find the very connecting threads to learn more about the vis-a-vis.
- "I AM". Here you should tell something about yourself, of course, focusing on the interests of the interlocutor.
- "You". People most remember the first and last of what they heard. Therefore, concluding the conversation, allow the opponent to speak. So he will remember you as a sensitive and attentive interlocutor.
7. Name of the interlocutor
Often we don’t contact the person we are talking to by name because we don’t remember him. Here's what you can do to not call Marya Ivanovna Marina Ippolitovna:
- When the interlocutor calls his name, look into his eyes and try to remember their color.
- If possible, think of an association with a name (a flower, a character from a movie, a literary hero).
- Compare a new acquaintance with a person who bears the same name.
- After a few minutes, try to contact him by name.
And, although you already know this, we recall: during the conversation, contact the person you are talking to more often by name, because a person associates it with comfort, warmth, and trust.
8. Distance
Most likely, you are familiar with people who, at every opportunity, be it even a request to borrow a stapler, come so close that their breath is felt. Intuitively at such moments, we take a step back or to the side. All because the optimal distance between unfamiliar people should be at least 1.2 m (4 steps).
Getting to know better, you can reduce this distance, but first you need to check whether the other person is comfortable. Ask him to give you some thing, and if all is well, he will set a shorter distance between you.
9. Appearance
In choosing clothes, shoes, accessories and make-up there are 3 basic rules that you should adhere to if you are meeting a person who you would like to make a good impression:
But a small, but bright and even funny detail in your image is what you need. Like, for example, these socks in the photo that almost the whole world knows, because they are worn by the Prime Minister of Canada.
Bonus: a sincere smile
If the above methods can work with someone, but not with someone - after all, people are not robots to which one instruction applies, then a smile helps anytime, anywhere. Therefore, no matter how trite it may sound, smile! After all, a smile is contagious, and we value those who give us positive emotions.
And what other qualities in the interlocutor do you like?
