Why I can’t get a job. Why people may not get a job

Question to the psychologist:

Good day. I already have a very deep depression, constant thoughts about the meaning of continued existence, suicide. I hold only because of my parents. Repeatedly imagined his funeral, the grief of his parents, sobbed and found strength to hold on. This situation has been around for about a year, but prerequisites began to appear two years ago.

I used to have a prestigious job in one of the best companies in the capital, respect in the team, recognition, success. Had a rest on good foreign resorts. I had a lot of fans. Where I did not appear, there was always increased attention of the opposite sex. All this in me gave rise to "star disease". I felt like some kind of alpha male who could do anything., A demigod.

But there was one "but." It seemed to many girls that I was not developing and with my capabilities I could achieve maximum success, become a millionaire, etc. At first I did not pay attention to this chatter, but every day I was sawed: “You can achieve great success”, “Why are you still not a millionaire?”, “Do you need to find a better job”, etc. It got to the point that I was already ashamed to appear at work. In short, several girls exalted me so much and twisted me so, zombied me that I decided to quit and start to achieve “great successes”. They barely let me go from work, they said that without me everything would fall apart. It drove me even more. So something depended on me! I am needed!

But! When I quit, rested for several months and started looking for a new job, I was faced with the fact that no one was taking me !! They do not respond to the resume when I get to the interviews - they do not call back. And this is already about two years !!! A year and a half ago, the previous boss persuaded me to return, but freelance. I thought that I would look for jobs in the previous place and do searches. Everything would be fine, but only there was very little work there (crisis), and other employers do not need me.

Still, a year and a half ago, my beloved refused to marry me, although she had previously agreed. A year ago, as a result of unskilled medical intervention, I received damage, due to which my life deteriorated sharply.

And now I am sitting at home with poor health, a broken heart and a lack of work. Sometimes they call to the previous place to earn money, but this is very little.

Can't understand why other employers can't consider me?

I fell into depression and constant anxiety. I stopped sleeping normally. I was told that the solution is to find a job and a girl. But I can’t do it !!! Vicious circle.

There are thoughts that I was jinxed by one of the girls, brought damage.

Perhaps out of jealousy or out of envy.

It just doesn’t fit in my head, how could everything collapse so?

I want to go to the "grandmother", maybe he will see the evil eye?

Life energy is gradually drying up. With each new refusal to work, hands are falling more and more ...

The psychologist Panina Irina Nikolaevna answers the question.

Hello, Sergey.

I empathize with you in your condition. I am glad that the thought of parents (and I will tell you, the thought of your unborn children and thoughts of other imperfect plans) supports you and provides support.

Yes, now everything is not ice. It could have been much better. However, everything could have been much worse. It depends on what you compare it to.

At one time you were a brilliant young man with a developing career and a good income.

You say "evil eye" ... Eh ... as the diabolical figures "Vanity is the most beloved sin" say in some films.

Let us reason soberly and even harshly. Like a woman with a man.

You write:

"Can't understand why other employers can't consider me?"

And who considered you BEFORE this?

The girls? And who else?

You write that it was the girls who, as if by agreement, predicted a brilliant future for you in free swimming.

How could they (these dolls) know, in fact, KNOW what exactly you can handle and what you are capable of? What do you want?

This IM wanted to go to bed (sorry) with a millionaire.

At least one of them offered you a JOINT project?

Any project?

You listened to the flattering speeches of unfamiliar girls, but trying to make you pleasant girls, and went nowhere. From a warm place.

On the other hand, such “pendels of fate” very well teach the mind and increase experience. At least to understand people, at least to understand for the future that it would be necessary to lay straws when you sharply jerk through life.

You, a very young man, have a real chance to think and draw conclusions. You have the strength. Since you are writing here, I understand that it’s hard for you, it’s bad, you can say so, but you sat in front of the monitor behind the keyboard and typed this text. For this, you have great respect.

As they say, for one beaten they give two not beaten (yes it doesn’t hurt then) ...

You need to understand exactly what conclusions you can draw from the current situation. And what kind of “lemonade” can you make from the “lemon of fate” that has fallen to you.

Do not hire you?

Create your own jobs. You wanted, it seems, free swimming?

Beloved has abandoned you?

Good thing it happened now. Imagine, you would give birth to children with her, and then you would find out that she and you are not in love ...

We got a health injury. Of course, this is not good. Have you gone to trial or community service to improve health care? Perhaps there, in this area, your career and your money also lie?

With regard to failures at work .... Yes, with each failure you are increasingly .... fading .. And this can become a vicious circle, because you are not verbally broadcasting to people (employers) yourself, presenting yourself as a loser.

A vicious circle - to feel sorry for yourself so that people tell you later about "how pathetic you are." Only YOU can take care of you, others will behave as you treat YOU as you allow them.

Find a girl ... in my opinion, this was not your problem at the time when you had work and money.

Get back on your feet and you will choose among the girls who will again come to twitter for you flattering speech.

Here you will be (possibly) smarter.

Since parents are support for you, encourage them, remember your childhood, what you were fond of, what you wanted and what you dreamed about. What they played.

Think about your friends, relationships. Who can help you really now with work (with earnings)? How to ask him about it? What to offer in return?

I believe that what does not kill you makes you stronger. If you so wish.

5    Rating 5.00 (27 Votes)

I'm tired of all this. I want<способ суицида - ред.мод.>, and do away with it. For 5 years I can’t find a job, find myself, I’m tired of feeling worthless against the background of my friends. I walk down the street and barely hold back the tears, who is standing in my throat to pain. Thoughts on give rest, they are only about the bad, only about the negative. Everyone is striving for something, they have some goals, they are buying something, but I am a homeless person and a moral disabled person in torn clothes, and besides, nobody needs me. Mother lives separately her life and considers me garbage that does not achieve anything, does not want to help with school. And what remains for me, low-skilled many hours of work for a penny? Well, that’s true, I won’t achieve anything. It's over, I see no further reason in anything, I'm absolutely broken. I don’t want to work and live at all.
Support the site:

Marina, age: 04/24/2018

Feedback:

Hmmm. For example, I’m generally disabled, however, this does not stop me sitting at home to earn money in addition to retirement. Higher education does not and will not be, for I consider it to myself personally - superfluous. I prefer self-education. I am over 30 and recently I broke up with my girlfriend. Yes, I feel lonely, it breaks me from this, but it will pass ... I know this very well. Plus, I am making certain plans for life. Why am I doing all this? and to the fact that I, too, not so long ago, thought that everything ... sailed ... a complete lack of perspective. But! I live, breathe, see, hear, and therefore - I am already better than many people on this planet. you are 24 and you are already putting an end to yourself ... notice - YOU. The fact that someone there believes that you are rubbish - do not care. The important thing is that now you yourself consider it rubbish for some reason ... Apparently because you are comparing yourself to yourself "yesterday" and to your friends and friends ... this is stupid, I think ... but it's up to you. Regards Passerby.

Passerby, age: 30+ / 04/29/2018

Hello. Marina, do not compare yourself with anyone. Pray for work Tryphon. You are still very young, so achieving something is quite real and getting an education. Hugging you.

Irina, age: 04/30/2018

Hey. I also faced such a situation. For a very long time I was looking for work. Do you know what way you found it? She got a job on "low-skilled many-hour labor for a penny." And I do not regret it. I’ve had enough of those “cents”, I could please myself with new purchases and traveled during the holidays. Thanks to that work, very hard, physically and mentally, very, I was able to learn so much new, to get such an experience, I began to respect myself, because I realized how strong I am, how I can overcome myself and achieve goals. I learned so many wonderful places thanks to my own money. The good things here have covered all that much is bad. Good more. More pluses, really. I have a higher education, a red certificate. But I realized that without experience I can’t find a job in my specialty. I had a very severe depression, like you. And such an exit was correct. I did it right then. Do not consider yourself too good for some work. If you really need her. You can find it. For a start, to catch a tit very well, too. It will become easier for you, you will begin to respect yourself and you will be able to be independent. Continue in the meantime the search, and you can always quit as soon as the best job comes up. Everywhere you can learn, at every absolutely work, a lot. And you will be in the black. It will be difficult, but you will become strong. And a whole life ahead. You know how many works you can still change) But it's interesting to try. Only under a lying stone water will not flow. Everything will be fine, do not worry. I know that it’s difficult, and such a state is rolling, it happens, it’s normal. The main thing is to believe inside, everything will be fine!

Indeed, comparing yourself to someone (strangers / acquaintances, friends, family) is the road to nowhere. You will never be happy. If you still want to be happy, get rid of this habit, try it. You need to compare yourself with yourself yesterday, I completely agree. Then development. Myself. Not someone else. Live your life, please, dear. You have your own way. Your priceless, unique life, such one, take care of it, Marine.

The same age, age: 04/25/2018

You know, I also have problems in life with finding myself, although there is a crust on humanitarian education. As a result, low-skilled labor for a penny. And then, I was lucky with my work, I’m sitting as an operator on the phone, and in our city, mostly sellers are required. But depending on what is considered a penny. In my small town, people get even less, and moreover, having higher education in economics or accounting. Because it’s hard to find work in our city. But they live, working for 10-15 thousand per month sellers, operators, secretaries, and are not going to kill themselves. They live modestly, but live as they can, as they can. So lives half the country, if not more. We have a cleaner optimistic aunt, funny. It would seem that it’s fun, but this way, apparently, ambitions and a thirst for more do not gnaw at her, she is content with what she has, not comparing herself with others. Of course, we are all different, not everyone can be cleaners and ordinary workers. But maybe you, Marinochka, try to reconsider your views on life, a little more humility, patience, acceptance of yourself and your imperfect fate, reduce the requirements for yourself, fate. I’m a depressed person, I go to a psychotherapist, drink medicine, I can’t do without medicine, it will be very bad. But now I don’t get killed, that I am like that. In my environment, too, most of them achieved something, started families. I would also like to be successful, healthy, rich. But it doesn’t work out, I’m unhealthy and lonely, but I live with what I have and try to appreciate simple little joys, delicious food, a walk, chatting with nice people, an interesting film. And I hope for the best, I try to change what I can. And what I can’t try to accept, including suffering and sorrow.

Tanya T, age: 04/29/2018

Marina, hello! I feel sorry for the difficulties in your life. It seems that your plans and ambitions do not coincide with the current reality, which brings you pain and disappointment. This is where your comparisons of your life with those of others go. You write that you have lost yourself. Maybe this is what prevents you from finding work to your liking? Ask yourself: how do I want to live in 5, 10 years? Who I want to be? What prevents me from realizing my dreams? - Fear, fear of failure, disapproval from the family, or something else. Be honest with yourself, learn to listen to your inner voice. I wish you success!

Anna, age: 04/24/2018

Hello! Your letter really responded. I ask you, in no case, do not despair! Most likely, you just can’t imagine in which direction to move, you don’t know your talents. I assure you, there are absolutely no mediocre people ... I was in a similar situation, as if it were about me ... I never knew how to earn money, work without skills bored me morally and I did not stay on it ... it went on for many years. There were hundreds of interviews, vain attempts to establish my life ... but I walked in circles .. Then I began to look for new, unknown paths. The realization has come that I can do much more than I thought. I just looked there, I didn’t believe that I could. No one has ever believed in me before. Never give up! I wish you success! You can do it!

Dee, age: thirty / 04/30/2018

At 24, by definition, it cannot be over. You are so young.
  If there is not enough money, then settle for what is. Work and see, and what do you need to get your dream job? Perhaps it is worth pulling something? Change in appearance?
  Clean, neat clothes, light make-up, a pleasant smell, a smile on your face and goodwill will be in your favor. Perhaps you should work on this?
  With the struggle against obsessive thoughts (only about the bad, only about the negative), Jesus' prayer helps. Start pronouncing it as soon as it brings. Repeat many times, thoughtfully until you let go.
  Keeping a diary also helps to remove the negative.
  Confession to the priest.
  Sport is also a great way. You can at home as soon as you feel bad, then immediately begin to do exercises. Let it go. You can run in the fresh air.
  You also compare yourself with friends. Stop doing it. Do not follow their lives and do your own thing.

Julia, age: 25/30/2018

Everything, as I have now. Almost all. I am lonely, I am 30 years old, and behind me is only low-skilled labor for a penny. Although I have a higher economic education. And 2 years ago, I decide to change everything and quit, because looking for work and working at my job was almost impossible due to the schedule. For these 2 years, I probably visited already under 70 interviews. And the same thing everywhere: we don’t take without experience. I understand that it is only partly in the system, the main problem is in me. And still, no matter what, I continue to seek and believe.

Danil, age: 05/30/2018

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The situation when a young man with a seemingly demanded specialty cannot find a job for a long time, unfortunately, is not uncommon. At the same time, there is a feeling that, they say, no one understands me and no one needs me. This state of affairs, of course, cannot suit and satisfy: each of us wants to feel necessary and significant. Lack of work for a long time undermines faith in one's own prospects. It seems that there will be nothing good in life. In addition, it is much harder for a man to experience a situation where he cannot find a job. If a woman has the opportunity to take refuge in raising children, focus on the family and hope for a spouse, then the stronger sex does not have such an advantage. A man wants to feel necessary in a profession, only then he is truly happy. This article discusses the feelings of a person who cannot be professionally realized for a considerable time, and suggests ways to solve the problem. What can you do when you are haunted by failure?

The essence of the problem

It is not always possible to find work as easily and simply as it seems. Sometimes weeks and months pass, and the situation does not change. It seems that you did not graduate from the institute yesterday and have quite acceptable knowledge, but for some reason, employers are in no hurry to notice you. Of course, this situation is depressing and makes you suffer. Thoughts begin to appear that, they say, since they do not take me to the desired position, it means that I am not capable of anything. Do not rush to make hasty conclusions, do not worry in vain. Perhaps you yourself are not very actively looking for work? In any case, persistence and interest must be shown. When a person prefers to shut himself up in his problem, luck also turns away. Often a person who is unable to find work has a depression, and he does not know how to get out of it. Such a decisive step requires self-confidence and a bold look into the future.

Diploma

The graduation document alone does not mean anything. There are many people who successfully completed their studies, but could not get a job in life. To do this, you need to have a moving mind and high aspirations, and most importantly - clearly understand where to go next. Refuse the idea of \u200b\u200bthinking that they are supposedly not interested in me. It is important to have a specific goal, then it will be easier to achieve. Life often gives us opportunities, but do we use them correctly? Someone runs away, barely seeing a tempting offer, others consider themselves unworthy to respond to an interesting job announcement. Some people do not need a diploma at all in order to realize their potential, for this you need to have creative thinking and be always ready to prove your best. How many are capable of this? Unlikely. Most of us miss our chances, and so it is repeated many times.

Having a diploma is not an indicator, but only an opportunity, an additional step to your own development. A document cannot guarantee success; it would be too simple. Currently, professionals are required who are able to do something beyond the proposed position, intellectually developed and competent.

Sense of worthlessness

When you can not for a long time, the most terrible doubts begin to creep into your head. It’s rare that someone at this moment will not lose their hands, faith in themselves will not break, the desire to continue to do something will not fade. Often even depression occurs, it seems that luck has completely turned away. Gradually, a feeling of emptiness and uselessness is formed. These feelings are quite natural and natural. In fact, how can you feel if, for example, I am not invited to work anywhere, although the appropriate efforts are made. Over time, a person begins to doubt that he will succeed at all. But the easiest way to tell yourself is that I can’t do anything. It is important to continue to act by all means. If necessary, hit at the same point many times, someday surely lucky. We must try to overcome the imaginary sense of worthlessness. Remember that you are valuable in your own right and as a specialist. No need to give up before your time, continue to fight for your place in the sun. There is an opinion: if they are not interested in me, it means that I am not loud enough about myself.

Seemingly hopelessness

How to cope with depression and find a way out of a predicament? When you are captivated by a sense of hopelessness, all your strength goes somewhere, you don’t want to do anything. I must say that it is easiest to hide from all problems behind the mask of a loser and then do nothing. This is done not only by weak people, but also by those who, for some reason, are disappointed in themselves. A strong focus on the lack of work makes it difficult to find. The more we immerse ourselves in experiences, the more we become disappointed in the prospects available. Some people, starting to look for work and not getting an instant result, immediately become discouraged. They do not want to do anything extra to be noticed. Only action can change our lives for the better. It is worth remembering this when you plan to bring something new to your life. If you argue so that they won’t take me anywhere, it’s not worth hoping for a change. A lot depends directly on the mood of a person, including success.

Freelance

This type of activity has already been successfully tested by many people. Perhaps this prospect will suit you. If you suffer for a long time from the fact that you cannot find a job, know that there is a way out. To do this, you just need to better evaluate your capabilities, work out a little and believe in your own prospects. Only he wins in a difficult struggle, who is ready to go to the end and take active steps. When a person lies passively on the couch and suffers from his own seeming professional unsuitability, he will never be able to find something to his liking. No need to think that they will not accept me, because there is no corresponding education or experience. Fate loves the adventurous and courageous.

Freelance is a great solution for those who want to work at home and value their own independence. Today, there are many areas of activity that you can engage in in a cozy and relaxed atmosphere: design, writing articles, website development. Of course, this is far from suitable for all people. The work of a freelancer implies perseverance, focus on results, the ability to take responsibility, efforts made alone. If a person wants to discover new facets and perspectives in himself, then he may well choose freelance as his main and profitable occupation. You will have to make significant efforts, but they are worth it. This type of employment can be both a temporary solution and permanent.

Continuous movement

Activity is the key to success in any business. Be extremely open to new information, then significant changes will soon take place in your life. If you have chosen a certain path for yourself, do not back down. The results will certainly appear, you just need to act and not lose your presence of mind. Anyone who argues in such a way that they say they are not interested in me is unlikely to be useful, will not achieve visible changes for the better. Belief in oneself and one's own abilities is half the success. Be ready at some point to accept the challenge of fate and prove to others what you are capable of.

Thus, the problem of job search is always relevant. If you still cannot find something to your liking, then it's time to put aside doubts and take action.

You have been unemployed for six months now, have visited a large number of companies and have passed dozens of interviews, but all your attempts to get a job are unsuccessful. Employers do not report the reasons for their refusal, and they are not required to do so. And you are guessing what is wrong and why is all to no avail?

Here are the likely reasons why you always lose out on interviews.

The lack of recommendations indicates that you do not know anyone who could give you a good profile as a professional. Or you simply did not consider it necessary to call your previous places of work to get recommendations.

You came for an interview unprepared.

You are being interviewed by an employer clearly without any prior preparation. This means that you did not collect information about this company, did not prepare questions for the employer, and you yourself found complete unwillingness to answer the questions of a staff employee. The question “Why do you want to work in our company?” Just drove you into a corner.

You are a flyer.

In other words, over the past six months you managed to change several jobs. Over the past 20 years, virtually nothing has changed in this regard, and employers still do not like people who often change jobs. And they, of course, have every reason for this.

The habit of changing jobs means that you are a person who is unstable in your interests and beliefs, and you yourself do not know what you want. And if so, then you can leave the company at any time if you are offered somewhat better working conditions.

There are large gaps in your resume between the periods when you were employed.

Any employer is always wary of a candidate if he sees from the resume that he hasn’t worked for six months when changing jobs. In such cases, the recruiter makes the only conclusion on your account: “Since it took him six months to find a new job, then he is not such a good professional.” Therefore, do not write in the resume that you have been unemployed for several months.

You are negatively talking about your previous jobs or former colleagues.

In the eyes of the employer, this speaks more about the bad traits of the character of the candidate, his conflict and inanimate, for example. Therefore, you are denied work everywhere. Who would want to deal with such a problematic worker ?!

You are intractable.

When employing many people, they like to put forward their requirements to the employer (a certain salary level, the availability of a social package, bonuses, etc.), but not all employers are able to satisfy all the requirements in full. If potential job candidates do not want to compromise, then employers try to avoid such people.

You get confused when answering the same question.

During the interview, the employer specifically asks the same questions in different variations and tries to catch you by surprise. Thus, he wants to make sure that:
   1) you say what you really think, and not what the employer wants to hear, 2) you listen carefully to the employer, because for you this conversation is very important.

You may have forgotten to include contact information in your resume.

Perhaps you are so focused on the experience gained, knowledge in one area or another that you simply corny forgot to indicate your contact details in the resume. You would like to be hired, but only in the absence of any contact information in the resume, you simply cannot be found.

The birth of a child, additional education, caring for a sick relative, owning a business or traveling around the world - there can be many reasons for a career break. However, in most cases, a specialist sooner or later needs to find a new job.

How not to get lost among other applicants after a long break, he will tell.

The recruiter is a friend, not an enemy
Let's start with the bitter truth. The objective reality is this: a job applicant who has not worked for more than six months or, even worse, several years, is in a losing position compared to other candidates in the labor market. Recruitment managers tend to think that such a specialist has partially lost his qualifications, lost useful connections, is not up to date with the latest trends in his professional field, etc. Of course, this is not always true, but a person looking for work after a long break is more likely all, you have to face with such stereotypes.

However, you should not initially tune in to a stubborn struggle with recruiters. You will find a job much faster if you try to see in the recruitment manager not a harsh examiner, but a person who is ready to understand the reasons for “downtime” and adequately assess your readiness to work in the company.

Summary: functional or traditional?
  What should be the resume of the specialist who made a stop on his career? How not to push the recruiter away by admitting that you have not worked for some time, but, on the contrary, to interest him and receive an invitation to an interview?

Some career counselors advise in such cases not to write a traditional resume, which consistently sets out all the stages of your career, but a functional one, reflecting skills and competencies. Thus, you can make a break in seniority less noticeable and get the same welcome invitation for an interview.

In the Russian professional environment, unconventional resumes are more likely to be distrusted than with interest. It is very likely that your attempts to veil a long absence of work will be noticed and interpreted not in your favor.

It is much more reasonable to use a traditional resume, but edited so that it is clear: despite a break in work, you remained a good specialist, or maybe even improved your qualifications.

The main thing is to stay fit
  Recruiters unanimously advise: when compiling a resume, be honest. Do not compose fables, do not invent the names of non-existent LLCs or ZAOs in which you allegedly worked without registration. It is unlikely that cheating will contribute to your career growth: a lie will open sooner or later.

Better think about it: how can what you did, until you worked, play into your hands? Perhaps, in parallel with caring for a child, did you manage to get a second higher education or tighten up English? Or, while your work book was resting, attending courses or training in a specialty? Perhaps you worked as a freelancer, mastered new computer programs, or at least regularly read professional periodicals?

Be sure to include your achievements in the absence of work in the resume, and if possible, attach a portfolio of completed work. Recommendations from former colleagues or companies for which you worked as a freelancer (if any) are not superfluous.

In a cover letter, explain the reason for the career break. Be sure to clarify that now your problems have been resolved and you are ready to give yourself completely to work: your grandmother looks after the child, and the repair in the apartment that has absorbed all your time has been successfully completed.

The reasons are good and not very
  What are the reasons for a break in seniority recruiters tend to regard as respectful? According to a survey by the Research Center website, 16% of recruitment managers consider events in the family as such - the birth of a child, moving to a new place of residence, illness of relatives, etc.

Another 9% of HR specialists are sure that a serious reason for choosing a job can be a good reason for a long “downtime”: for example, the candidate did not want to spray on uninteresting projects, but purposefully looked for a decent offer. But such an explanation will not always satisfy the recruiter: if you haven’t been working for several years, then the words “I haven’t come across an interesting job” will most likely cause confusion in your opponent. In turn, 7% of recruitment managers believe that the best explanation for the break in seniority is study or advanced training.

As for such explanations as “I decided to become a downshifter,” “there was no need for money,” “I tried to open my own business, but it didn’t work out,” we need to be careful with them. A specialist who "just rested" for several months, or even years, the recruiter may consider a bummer who does not have sufficient internal motivation.

Interview: breaking stereotypes
Finally, your resume was noticed and invited you for an interview. Now the main thing is not only to clearly explain to the recruiter and potential boss the reasons for the break in work, but also to demonstrate that you have not lagged behind life professionally. Remember: you must destroy the possible stereotype of your unsuitability.

Get ready for the meeting, having studied all the available information about the company, practice at. Show off your knowledge of the latest market trends, refer to the latest changes in legislation, mention authoritative names in your professional environment, in a word, during the interview you should look and feel like a real pro. Then success will be on your side.

If you are unlucky ...
  It is possible that you will not be able to quickly find a job after a long break. The reasons may be different. It is possible that you actually relaxed a bit without the daily office fuss. Or your explanations about the reasons for the break will cause distrust among recruiters. Or maybe you are not lucky. Analyze the situation and adjust your behavior. Ask for help from friends, relatives or former co-workers - let family and professional relations do you a good service. Be prepared to lower your salary claims somewhat or even apply for a position lower than the one you once left. You should not take this as a drama: as a rule, a good specialist quickly makes up for lost time - both in career and in material terms.