The guy meets the girl but communicates different. My boyfriend is chatting with other girls

The male harmless habit of communicating with women on the Internet leads to the suffering of their halves. Such situations become the reason for constant quarrels and jealousy, and if nothing changes, they can cause a divorce. Before breaking off relations with a beloved boyfriend or husband, you need to find out why he communicates with other women. There may be several reasons, and if you have feelings for a partner, then you should act quickly to eliminate the virtual rival.

Why does a man communicate with other women

When a loved one finds communication on the side, even on the Internet, the woman wonders why this is happening. The fair sex, noticing the active correspondence of his half with a virtual girl, immediately begins to suspect a partner in flirting. A woman does not present other reasons because of which a loved one spends her free time on the Internet constantly.

The best option would be to not rush into any conclusions and figure out what the reason for communication on the side lies. No need to rush to make scandals and blame him for still imperfect sins.

Reasons for correspondence on the side:

1. Polygamy. In this case, a man cannot be limited to one woman. Sometimes it can be called licentiousness.
2. Self-affirmation. Communication with other girls who focus on the positive qualities of a man cannot but arouse suspicion. Reading compliments in his address and noticing flirting, the man does not stop communicating in order to increase self-esteem.
3. Loss of interest in the wife. Life often leads to the fact that a woman ceases to care for herself. Lack of makeup, a stretched bathrobe, an unattractive nightdress lead to cooling on the part of the spouse.
4. There is no understanding on the part of the spouse or girl. When a woman no longer asks about elementary things: “How was your day?” "," What's new at work? "And ceases to be bored, sooner or later a man will begin to seek outside communication.
5. Common interests with the interlocutor. The guy begins to correspond with the girl in whom he sees a like-minded person. Communication is limited only to topics about study or work.
6. Love. Perhaps the guy just fell in love with another girl, so he often lies and spends all his free time at the computer.

Changed guy found out about it

How to stop chatting on the side

Psychologists have noticed that often online flirtation begins against a background of everyday problems, unresolved relationships or a constant temper of a woman. Therefore, if it does not rest that the beloved communicates on social networks, then the first thing to do is to reconsider marital relations.

What to do when a beloved man is in correspondence with other women:

1. Calm down and analyze everything. Ask yourself whether everything is fine in the relationship, whether sufficient attention is paid to the partner.
2. Search for common topics and interests with a young man. You can watch your favorite series at dinner, which both people like, and then discuss the series watched.
3. Talk with your chosen one and ask exciting questions. The conversation should be calm and without quarrel. It is necessary to follow his reaction and answers.
4. Change gray days, surprise your beloved. Arrange a romantic dinner with beautiful linen and a passionate night, and the next day see if he will spend his time at the computer.
5. Put yourself in order. Go to the salon, do another hairstyle or change hair color, buy a beautiful dress.
6. Try to explain to her husband that his correspondence brings pain and suffering. We can say that in this way he can lose his wife's confidence.
7. Engage in correspondence with a man. If a partner is chatting on social networks, you can show by your own example how this can be unpleasant. It’s better to start doing this in front of your husband, smile when reading SMS, etc.

You can calm down and let everything drift, but you need to remember that harmless communication can go to another stage, and yesterday’s girlfriend will become a lover. Quarrels or surveillance of the spouse’s correspondence will not bring any result, to solve the problem it is worth talking openly about your feelings with your soulmate. Also, it is likely that the chosen one may have psychological problems that only a specialist can solve.

May 24, 2015

It's nice when your girlfriend only communicates with you and friends. But what if the girl communicates with other guys? We will discuss this problem.

Every man wants his woman to devote time only to him. However, he is very jealous when a girl communicates with someone else. Especially when she communicates with a male representative. And this is normal. Where there is love, there is jealousy.

And so let's first look at the reasons why a girl communicates with other guys:

1 Manipulates. The girl wants to make you jealous. Most likely she needs something from you. It is not uncommon when girls play in public and look at a guy’s reaction. Also, a girl can manipulate when offended by you. And he wants to cause you to manifest emotions.

2. Lack of attention. Perhaps you devote little time to your beloved. And she found a way out of this situation. Namely, the girl began to correspond with other guys or communicate with them over the phone.

3. Changes. Do not exclude this option. After all, to be honest with himself, it is he who climbs first in the head. There are girls of easy virtue who are for loose relationships. They need a guy except for show. And with any guy’s attempts to take control of her, she easily dodges. This is such an incorrigible category of girls. And here you are unlikely to do anything.

4. Loves male communication. Some girls from childhood communicate with boys. And they like to have more guys in their social circle. For example, the singer Alena Vinnitskaya is more dominated by communication in men.

5. Friends. Of course, the friendship between a man and a woman is a moot point. But still, there are girls who believe in her. And this is normal. You most likely also have familiar girls or, in extreme cases, relatives with whom you communicate. Therefore, the girl may not even suspect that you do not like it. Or she doesn’t understand why she shouldn’t communicate with guys.

6. Doubts about you. The girl is not confident in her feelings. That's why she communicates with guys. He is looking for answers to his questions or is looking for a guy whom she will not doubt. Of course, this is all ugly on her part, but there is such a category of girls.

7. She is not interested in you. Perhaps your feelings faded over time. And you don’t even have anything to talk about. Yes, she loves you and is faithful to you, but she is just bored. That's why she communicates with other guys.

Now consider what to do in such situations:

1., then it’s worth telling her right in the face. This will bring her to clean water. But the manipulator still needs to be supported by facts. Since it will in any case be twisted.

2. Give her more attention. At least not to find a man who will give it. If with this in any way, then talk to your soulmate. Explain to her that you do not like it and tell her other entertainments.

3. If you are confident in treason, then make the appropriate decisions. If not, then do not chop off the shoulder. Try to find confirmation or refutation of such suspicions.

4. In this case, you need to accept your girlfriend as she is. Otherwise, the quarrel about this will never end. It is worth asking the girl to limit such communication.

5. Explain to the girl your position. And give her visual examples of why she should stop such communication. But do not put your position tough. Understand this after all her friends.

6. If a girl doubts your relationship, then you should confidently and decisively declare your position. Let her know that you can’t sit on two chairs.

7. If interest has faded, then it is worth renewing it. Sit down and remember how you met other great things in common. And try to become more interesting and romantic.

Draw conclusions and make your decisions. Whatever it was, you and only you are responsible for your life.

Question to the psychologist

Today I found out that my boyfriend is talking to another VKontakte girl. She asks him if he is free, he replies that he is free. Now I don’t know how to react. Drop it? (There have already been similar cases) or close your eyes. In general, I would like to teach him a lesson so that he wouldn’t be harassed anymore. The distance between us is now, he is in another city. And this exacerbates the situation. I would like to do everything so competently and not to lose him, and so that he would lose interest in communicating. I read in nete, such situations are completely full, but I do not want to know about it and pretend that there was nothing. If you have a conversation, what format should it be in?

Hello Madina, the relationship between a guy and a girl, as well as between a husband and wife, can be harmonious and long-term, if they are based on the common interests and personal qualities of each partner. Often young people believe that if they are in certain relationships (friends, dating, marriage), then they have the right to each other and lose any freedom, and if they find out that someone else is talking on the side of the other (to others) it is already perceived as betrayal, as treason. You already have plans for revenge in your head, (Actually, I would like to teach him a lesson so that he wouldn’t be habituated anymore.) Is he your child, are you his parent or teacher ?. If he communicates with another, then this is his desire not to change this with any threats and revenge. You did not write how much time you have been together for 3 months, a year, two. If this is the beginning of your relationship, it means they have not yet become stronger and have not become something of value to him, and here only time can show how deeply your relationship can go. If you have been chatting for more than a year, you should think about what he lacks in communicating with you, why he is looking for other acquaintances. Maybe it’s just your increased control over him, your prohibitions and your attitude to him, as to your property that makes him behave this way, wanting to free himself from your pressure and assert himself, while feeling that he is free. True love means: "I do not bind you hand and foot and do not accept the bond from you." Independence and freedom of another person must be respected. An important place in a relationship is trust, respect and, oddly enough, your (his) self-esteem. If you have respect for yourself as a person, if you have confidence in your boyfriend, and are not constantly waiting for him to deceive you, thereby attracting this situation, if you have sexual compatibility with him and you resolve all issues together, taking everyone’s opinion as equal, and acknowledge each other’s freedom, under such conditions you can be close to each other and feel the joy of communication. As soon as “You are mine” or “you are mine” arises, your relationship already ceases to be free, in its place comes the manipulation of each other and the relationship brings suffering and resentment. To be able to build relationships that are developing is a big work that will always be awarded with harmonious relationships, but you always need to start with yourself. When you do not force, do not force, and do not control, the person next to you is comfortable, he is nearby, still free, and this condition is most important for him. Recognizing the freedom of the other, you thereby bind him next to you without a rope, but only by your attitude. Good luck.

Bekezhanova Botagoz Sparks, psychologist of Astana

Good answer9 Bad answer3

Madina, hello!

It is a question of trust. It has been undermined by you ... and not by a single situation ...

This once again confirms the fact that a person, almost always, in life uses the same patterns of behavior.

In this regard, your desire to “teach him a lesson” or to make him “lose interest” in such communication is meaningless.

What drives them? Natural male polygamy or the desire to lead empty chatter, shrouded in lies, is known only to him. In any case, he has certain motives.

As for your reactions. It’s better not to “scare” it, but to make it clear that such actions hurt him in your eyes and you’ll just cool off to it. Talk about it calmly and without emotion. Usually, these words impress.

If you are dear and his desire to have relationships with several girls does not go off scale at the same time, he will strive to prove his loyalty to you. And if not, then why do you need a person who can betray and whose trust has been lost.

The main thing is to believe that you are worthy of reciprocity. (If not in these respects, then in others ...)

I sincerely wish you this!

Respectfully,

Snegireva Inna Vladimirovna, psychologist Astana

Good answer4 Bad answer1

Many men do not see anything terrible in the fact that they communicate with other women on the Internet. They do not think that such situations lead to indignation of their soul mates, who cannot understand how a person in love can allow this kind of communication.

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It is completely logical that the girl does not accept this behavior, she begins to be jealous and angry. Often even comes to a breakup. Before you burn all the bridges, it’s worthwhile to figure out if a man is really chatting with other women because he wants to change, or is this just communication.

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How to understand that a man is chatting with another woman

In such a situation, it all depends on how the guy feels. If this is a usual conversation with a colleague about a new order or a conversation about a boss, then in such a situation there is a high probability that for a man this is just business correspondence. If he became interested in any particular person with whom he was not connected in any way, and corresponded with her daily for several hours, then in this case it is worth starting to sound the alarm.

Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to whether the man’s attitude towards his second half has changed. If a guy starts a mistress, then in this case he can go in 2 ways:

Become the most caring and gentle.The man feels his guilt and begins to bestow his other half with gifts, attention and tenderness, which she had never noticed before. So he tries to apologize to his beloved for the fact that he has already begun to subconsciously cheat on her.
Start behaving aggressively.In this case, the man is angry with the woman and believes that she herself is to blame for the fact that he began to be interested in other girls. In a similar situation, he begins to insult his other half, humiliate her and express dissatisfaction with almost all issues.

Why do men chat with other women

If a young man spends a lot of time on the Internet and enthusiastically considers profiles of different girls on social networks or dating sites, this confirms that he himself does not understand what he wants from a relationship. Additionally, this may indicate:

the lack of attention from his beloved;
the lack of communication with your soulmate;
about too many domestic problems;
the desire to assert oneself and cause jealousy;
about wanting to flirt and see what happens.

Sometimes it happens that if people live together, then after a while sexual interest in each other disappears. In this case, the emotions gradually fade away and the partners begin to concentrate on other things. A strong respect, mutual understanding, etc., appears in the relationship, but passion disappears.

Some men calm down and enjoy the fact that they have found life partners and can now concentrate on building a shared future. Others become bored and thirsty.

What does talking about sex with other women mean

The most unpleasant thing that a girl can stumble upon while studying the correspondence of her beloved is vulgar conversations or ambiguous hints. If a man communicates on the topic of sex with another woman or she sends him her photos of intimate content, then in this communication there is nothing good.

In such a situation, one does not have to talk about friendly correspondence. You should not believe the words of a man who can say that he just wanted to make a joke on a depraved person or was interested in how far she was ready to go. In this case, we are talking about serious problems in relations that need to be addressed immediately, until the partner decides to transfer communication with the interlocutor to another level.

What to do in such a situation

If a woman found her soul mate during correspondence with the other, then do not panic. You need to ask your partner about the purpose of such communication.

Men always say that the correspondence does not contain anything serious, even if it occurs with a mistress whom they have been dating for many years. Some partners claim that they just got bored at home and for the sake of interest they decided to talk with someone. Therefore, it is worthwhile to independently study the correspondence.

If a girl clearly sees undisguised flirtation in messages, it is worth stopping such communication as soon as possible. To show the spouse that it is unpleasant for a woman, but not to bring the relationship to scandal, it is worth translating the whole matter as a joke and asking her husband in a humorous form about divorce. If a man understands hints and loves his wife, then he himself will stop communicating.

Calmly analyze the situation

No loving person will be able to look indifferently at how his other half flirts and sweetly communicates with someone else. Before you start to panic, you need to pay attention to how the conversations between the young man and other girls proceed. If the beloved congratulated the former classmate on her birthday, then there is no point in accusing him of betrayal.

If the correspondence contains compliments and flattery directed to the address of another woman, then this indicates that there is flirtation in communication. If a girl invites a young man to meet, there is a risk that such a meeting will take place.

If the partner has a child from his ex-wife, then correspondence on the network or talking on the phone is quite normal. The child should not suffer because of the divorce of the parents. Talks of ex-spouses should not be too warm. If during communication they rarely remember a joint child, then this can cause suspicion.

Think about relationships

If the husband says that he is bored, then there is no need to continue to understand his correspondence. You need to think about what has changed in the relations of partners in recent years. Perhaps the couple stopped considering each other as sexual objects, the family lost tenderness, warmth and mutual understanding.

It’s better to work on relationships once than to stop spouse communication with new women again and again. It is worth considering what he lacks, since such behavior indicates that the partner is unhappy.

Talk heart to heart

If the relationship is at a stage when people completely trust each other, know all the shortcomings and are ready to put up with them, then you need to sit down at the negotiating table. It is worth talking and calmly asking the guy why he is interested in postscript with other women.

If he will meet and explain the situation (he will say that he has stopped arranging an intimate life with a girl), then you should not start to be angry with him. There was no betrayal, so it’s too early to burn bridges.

If a man refuses to comment on his actions or is constantly lying, claims that there is no correspondence, do not panic. Too many guys are afraid to admit to such things, since they fear that their girlfriend may misunderstand their actions and decide to break off relations. Sometimes a much more terrible betrayal is hidden behind correspondence, so a man prefers to pretend to the last that he does not understand anything.

Give up revenge

Many girls take revenge to show their partners how unpleasant it is to realize that your loved one may be unfaithful. Unfortunately, this is very rare, since:

Even if a woman begins to defiantly correspond with other men, her partner will perfectly understand this and will not have absolutely no feeling of jealousy.
A man, on the contrary, will perceive this as a kind of permission to correspond with other women: since his other half is possible, then he too.
Many guys belong to the category of people who believe that some things (including correspondence) are strictly forbidden to their chosen ones. In this case, a more violent conflict cannot be avoided.

If you really want to make a man nervous and indignant, you should do wiser. For example, if a woman suddenly has a message from a stranger on her phone that her husband sees by chance, this will cause a lot more jealousy. Or just put a password on the phone. A man does not even need to see the correspondence, the very fact that the girl is hiding something from him will make him nervous.

Have a romantic evening

Instead of spending time on revenge on a loved one, you should behave more intelligently and take measures in order to renew your former passion and tender feelings towards each other. Therefore, it is worth preparing a delicious dinner, light candles and put on a new dress. When a man comes home from work, he will be pleasantly surprised.

If a girl attends several lessons of erotic dancing or massage, then this will be a great addition to a romantic evening. No man in such a situation will think about virtual communication with another woman when a beautiful girl sits in front of him.

To please a man in details

Even the most trifling manifestation of care and love towards a man will make him take a different look at his soul mate. If in the morning he finds a note in the refrigerator with a declaration of love or sees a mug of hot coffee in front of him, then he will definitely appreciate this attitude.

It is worth buying beautiful underwear and sending your photo in it to your spouse when he is at work. Such innocent sexual pranks really turn guys on. Do not assume that if a woman begins to surprise her beloved, this will humiliate her. On the contrary, men need attention, only in this way they understand that they are loved and appreciated.

Arrange a vacation without children

When a child appears in the family, all attention is paid only to him. This leads to the fact that the spouses do not have the strength to stay together, as a result, the husband finds an outlet in the form of communication with other girls.

You need to take a short vacation and send the children to grandparents. It is recommended to go to rest in some romantic city or on the coast. If this is not possible, then even at home you can come up with a lot of interesting activities that will help partners get closer (board games, watching a movie, etc.)

At this time, you do not need to think about the reasons for the husband to communicate with other women. It is worth concentrating on getting pleasant emotions, then all the problems will recede into the background by themselves.

What you should not do

In such a situation, it is very difficult to remain calm and not to begin to sort things out with your spouse. You need to understand that in no case should you fall into hysteria, cry or appeal to the pity of your other half.

Mistakes most often made by jealous women:

Wrong behavior	Explanation
Play on husband's feelings for children	It is not a good idea to tell that because of common children, a man has no moral right to communicate with other women. Such arguments have absolutely no effect on the guys, but, on the contrary, they provoke them even more and cause a desire to chat with other calmer women who do not create problems
Follow the man	If a man realizes that a woman has completely lost confidence in him, then this will only further shake the already fragile relationship
To belittle	If you demonstrate that a woman is ready to keep her lover with all her might and will do anything to stay with him, this will only humiliate her in the eyes of her partner
Compete with "pen pal"	Regardless of whether the girl wins or loses, it will not bring any satisfaction. There is a big risk to realize that a rival has the best qualities. This will only lead to the appearance of additional complexes
Write to an opponent	If you write a message to the girl and state the essence of the situation, it will only flatter her. If before that she was not interested in a guy, then after talking with his girlfriend, she herself will enter the competition
Suicide	Any type of such threats will not cause the reaction that a woman expects. If such thoughts appeared in your head, then in such a situation it is worth turning to a psychologist who can help partners

How to behave if nothing helps

When a woman has done everything possible, but her beloved still shows interest in other girls, there are only three tips that you should follow:

Come to terms. If a girl is not ready to part with her husband or boyfriend because of his communication with others, then this fact must be accepted. A woman must learn to relate to such behavior as to another drawback of her beloved. You need to overcome jealousy in yourself and believe that nothing will go beyond the correspondence of your husband, so there is no point in being jealous of him.
Breake down.If a man refuses to devote himself to only one woman, then this situation will never change. It makes no sense to wait for a miracle. If a woman is constantly in a state of nervous tension, cannot sleep, eat, then you should not torment yourself mentally and physically. It is better to end such a relationship and find the person who will be interested in only one companion.
Visit a family psychologist. A specialist will help to accurately determine the cause of such a man’s behavior and tell you how to act. Spouses may need to undergo a course of joint therapy.

Each situation is individual. There are no universal tips to help improve your situation. It is necessary to consider not only the actual problem, but also the reason that led to its appearance.

The opinion of psychologists

Experts recommend considering the problem not superficially, but much deeper. With a man you need to act very carefully. If he is simply forbidden to communicate with other women, then this will only provoke him or he will become secretive and will continue virtual communication when his missus does not see him.

Not always a woman has the opportunity to independently familiarize herself with the text of the messages. In this case, there is only a sincere conversation with the guy.

Hello dear readers! Today we will consider the topic of our husbands' Internet flirting: why does the husband correspond with other girls on the Internet, and what should be done.

In fact, we were simply horrified when we discovered how many women suffer from such a male, seemingly “harmless” habit of chatting with other girls on the Internet. And such women are not one or two, or even a couple of hundreds. There are thousands of them !!! Therefore, let's try to figure out together what attracts men to online flirting.

To begin with, we decided to figure out, and what is “flirting on the Internet”? How to distinguish it from simple communication, and why does it arise at all? To this end, we registered at various women's forums, and under the guise of a woman who caught her faithful in such an obscene occupation, we asked the members of the forum and even psychologists for advice.

We did not even expect what resonance our “problem” would cause, and how many different points of view we would get in return. Including advice on resolving this situation.

What is online flirting?

So let's get back to our question. Most women define “flirting on the Internet” sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. That is, as we all understand, flirting is a kind of communication game, based on the manifestation of sexual feelings. And intellectually friendly conversation on interests obviously does not enter here.

Why did your husband start this double game and look for such acquaintances on the Internet, and what should you do? Most likely, you, like most other women, are asking the same question: “Does he really not understand what makes me hurt ?!” Hmm, in fact, this is a rhetorical question, since not one, as practice has shown, is a man has not yet given an adequate answer. Judge for yourself:

Maria, 27 years old:

« My husband is constantly chatting with other women inthe internet! He knows that this is unpleasant for me. Deleted from the network several times, but thenwound up new account.He speaks, what is itonly communication, nothingaboutmeaningnot binding and non-binding. But this is wrong. Etand constantlyse flirting, constant flirting mevery annoying!!! Msalso by accidentmet on the phone.At first italsoit wasjust communication…BUTnow we live together ...»

Vlada, 24 years old:

"FROMi’m not only looking at my situation .. I don’t know what to do, even wanted to leave ... Tut found that my MCH in the social. network comments pictures which— then the chicken ... Gives virtual pgifted, and so on… Atbuilt a scandal, and he He speaks, what is just communication, and that she is generally inotherthe country lives .. ATkinda calmed down a bit, come on, I say, diverge, and he - no, doesn't want to ... ATfrom even now I don’t know what to do, most to leave whether. .. »

Marina, 22 years old:

« Mine leftopen mail, I could not stand it and looked in. And there "I miss the sun so much" some girl. I got crazy. Husband, let's make excuses, but I was just shaking. And how did she become the sun for him in a week of dating?!»

Julianna, 22 years old:

"Moh futuremoften sits in social networks,buttoday I am found ICQ in a computer, about the existence of whichevendidn't suspect. I AMi've read such a thing there ...ATcasual sex with different hens ... Mi was shaking made a scandal and he to me: sorry, this will not happen again, and, of type, it's all frivolous. ATkinde asdeleted everything but where is the guarantee, that this will not happen again, and what will not change at all ???Bling how to be— then?Mless than a week before the wedding, but as I recall- allshaking ...»

Why does my husband meet on the Internet?

So, the question is, why do they, men, not live quietly, calmly, next to their darling wife. And always at hand: flirt, I don't want to! But no, still pulling to the side. So the second question begs, why do they do it? There can be many reasons for this. Again, the forum users shared with us an opinion on where the legs grow in such a situation. Here are a few women's views on the situation.

Some are inclined to believe that, every man is polygamous in nature. And such an online correspondence with other girls helps him assert himself. That is, to believe in their ability to please women, even being in a relationship (but they carefully hide this fact from their online girlfriends!), And thereby amuse their male vanity.

Anna, 33 years old:

« My husband is constantly chatting with someone in the Internet. Guys, they are like that - forever they need to assert themselves.I know that there are many women, but I have no time to bother about this. Because a person needs to communicate not only at work and at home.And certainly not only with his wife.If he will shy away after work somewhere, and then maybe .... comes home - this is straining! And so, well, let him communicate. Well, he flirts a little, you won’t get his attention?»

Sasha, 24 years old:

“For several years now, I have been experiencing a similar situation, the frivolous virtual communication of my beloved with other women, which does not turn into physical ... The problem arises, then it is solved through emotions and a bunch of emotions, then it arises again ... In my opinion, men are so arranged that I want to be “Don Juan” in the eyes of many women. Thus, the self-affirmation of their own masculine Self ... ”

Other women suggest that the husband communicates on the Internet with girls solely from idleness. That is, the man is left to his own devices, he has neither worries nor troubles ...

Galina, 29 years old:

"Mmy husband is so tired at work that he only needs dinner, but he can get to bed. And on weekends - family affairs, children, entertainment. From idleness all this, in short!»

Oksana, 34 years old:

"Once pcorresponded, it means there is a lot of free time, andhe is just bored. Here you can something else to do. Find extra income or get involved in any sport, eg."

Part of the members of the forum refers this fact as one of the ways of entertainment. Like, nothing bad, yet virtual, why is there something criminal?

Tanya, 34 years old:

“And this is his way of entertainment. They corresponded, laughed, remembered everything. Sometimes I also correspond with former people, nothing serious. This should be regarded as old friends met in classmates and all. I don’t think that you and your classmates (men) do not communicate, your husband can also think of something ... ”

Lera, 27 years old:

"ABOUT, alreadybutfrom!Pcorresponded! Aren't you afraid of your husbands letting you go out?BUT ride in transport?BUT to work?BUT to the store? Or do you keep walking andwatch out? Here he is at least sits at the computer,and no more. Leave the man alone, let him have some fun! ”

And finally, most of the women suggest that the main reason for this behavior of men is hiding somewhere in the family relationships of the spouses: once someone didn’t finish someone, didn’t prove, didn’t say, didn’t do that further, and the like. That is, a man is trying to find in correspondence with another woman that which he cannot find in his relationship with his real passion.

Lydia, 35 years old:

"I AM UnmarriedI amin search of. Hasto internete bumping into married men which are thought simplybe friends, but constantly« something there» peeingt. I can only say one thing, they allthere isonecommonthe problem is unhealthy family relationships.ANDdoes the wife do not care, and in fact they don’t live together, either them spit on wivesat and heronethemjustnot enough. So it turns out that if I want, then it’s worth only whistleand all of themwould jumpwith me,dropping slippers, on a datee… »

Anna, 27 years old:

"Zstartt wife became completely uninteresting to her husband - and that’s paying…»

Maria, 31 years old:

« If the husband is not seen in endless hikes to the left, but only communicates through correspondence, then you need to think carefully: why should he not chat with his beloved wife instead of gatherings on the Internet ?! Probably because with his wifeor about nothing,or for nothing. And here the matter is no longer in stock;ttheir correspondence with the former, and in family relations in general. If you are not interested in your husband, you can monitor your heart rate before losingabouteat the sites he visits. This will not add to his interest in you for sure ...»

Here are 4 of the most relevant reasons. If women can reconcile with three of them and somehow close their eyes somewhere, then with the latter it is generally unclear what to do.

By the way, psychologists just tend to believe that it is family problems that push men to online flirt. Often unresolved and even undetected. Experts in the field of family relations say that if your husband is chatting on the Internet with other women, and this does not give you peace, then for a start it is worth taking a look at your marital relationship.

Here are some tips on what to do if your husband flirts online:

At the very beginning, you should calm down and think seriously. Analyze the situation: is everything in your relationship in order. Perhaps you suppress him in something, or maybe, on the contrary, do not participate in his life and interests? Does the intimate side of the question? Do you spend a lot of time on each other, and when do such spouses go online most often?

If you notice a certain cyclical nature of his behavior, for example, you are in a quarrel, and he “hangs” on the Internet, or one of you is on a business trip, and he is again on the Internet, then your spouse’s clear position is already evident. Here you can and should fight for your family happiness. If he constantly spends time at correspondence, regardless of any circumstances, then this is already, according to experts, a pathology. And here you may need the help of a psychologist.

Talk to your spouse: why does the husband flirt internally. How will you talk: calmly or emotionally and with a scandal - psychologists do not specify. Of course, they remind us that we are all civilized people, we live in the age of communication art and oratory, and so on and so forth, but still they do not say that a calm conversation will lead you back on track. Apparently, there are also women among psychologists who understand what emotional relaxation is, and it also seems to have a number of similar problems J

In general, how you will sort things out is already your personal prerogative. If you think that your husband will be better able to hear you to the accompaniment of breaking plates, or his hearing will become aggravated while he dodges pans, then, well, affairs, as well as, in fact, your husband, are yours. And you have every moral right to it.

But if you are a highly moral and peaceful person who values \u200b\u200bher nerves (well, her husband’s nerves, which is already there), then it will be much more constructive for you to conduct a dialogue in a relaxed atmosphere with a mug of valocordin (because if you are going to speak with a true person on this topic, it means it excites you, and, most likely, you are unlikely to be able to restrain yourself for a long time).

The most important thing is to get an answer to your questions: why and why he started this double game. Try to find out what does not suit him in family life, what he lacks. The ideal option is when the spouse himself tells you the real reasons for his behavior. Then all the cards are in your hands: you can safely fix the problem. And if he bustles and in every possible way evades the answer? Then you have to smash your own head over the problem. For you, the next item.

Try to convey to your spouse the fact that you do not like his behavior. Explain (again, in ways acceptable to you by J) that such correspondence hurts you, deprives you of spiritual balance and emotional stability. Tell him your trust is undermined.

Try to pull the blanket over yourself and make it look at the situation with your eyes. Let him try to imagine that you are also flirting on the Internet with strangers. Try to bring him to the reaction: is it pleasant for him to be in this position? Does he like this course of affairs?

Ask your spouse what he puts higher in his value system: you or virtual girlfriends. Is he ready to refuse such communication for your sake and peace in your family?

Again, it is important for you to decide on your own: you are categorically against any communication of the spouse with the opposite sex, or you are opposed to flirting. If we are talking exclusively about flirting, then tell your husband that you are not at all against communicating with women, but within a moral and ethical framework.

Usually, according to psychologists, such a conversation is enough for a man who loves his woman and his family. Or he really "takes up the mind" and stops the correspondence, or hides it with special care. In order not to worry your beloved spouse and not upset the balance of trust in the family.

If such communication did not produce any results, and you again caught your husband saying that he corresponded with other women on the Internet, then you should use heavy artillery, that is, move from words to deeds.

So, watch your spouse: what is he missing? Try to flirt yourself with him, to give some kind of novelty to your relationship. After all, as you know, men are excited by the novelty that they are looking for on the Internet. Try also, through online correspondence or through SMS \\ MMS-messages, to return the former excitement to your relationship.

If this tactic does not help, then try as an experiment to flirt with other men on the Internet. Again, follow his reaction. Maybe elementary jealousy will provoke him to stop such situations on his part.

You cannot exclude the option of filling your husband’s leisure time, unless, of course, flirting does not occur exclusively during working hours at the workplace and away from your eyes. Spend time together more often, travel, arrange evenings and weekends “without gadgets”, or even agree that all your family members spend all evenings together, from technology - only a TV and a microwave (or whatever your heart desires, most importantly, no phones \\

In the absence of positive dynamics, psychologists recommend contacting a family psychologist, because by improvised means, apparently, such a pathology cannot be cured.

But again, this is only if the whole situation has not completely exhausted you, and you are ready to fight for your happiness further. Otherwise, it’s not your person and not your story, because such a man on a subconscious (and perhaps even quite conscious) level is looking for a replacement for you, and, accordingly, your family relationships. So he asks, do you need this constant struggle for a person who does not care about your trust, your family and you as a whole?

By the way, most members of the forum are in solidarity with psychologists: you need to drive such a man upside if his moral principles radically diverge from yours.

Well, of course, there are ladies who recommend turning a blind eye to the polygamous behavior of their man and looking for him all sorts of excuses to save his family and his nerves. As they say, how many women, so many opinions. Well done, the question is really controversial. What you are ready for the sake of the family is up to you to decide. Well, we wish you honesty in relationships, sincere love and loyal partners!