The guy writes messages to other girls. How to behave if a beloved man is in correspondence with other women

Hello! I have this problem: my boyfriend is talking with other girls. I’m constantly jealous of him, make scandals, and he tells me that he loves only me, and that I am alone in his world! And he communicates with others purely by friendship, with some he communicates from childhood and that my jealousy is stupid and baseless ... That he does not need anyone except me. Well, I really try to believe him and I believe.

But sometimes I’m very afraid that one day he will leave me and go to one of them! We often quarrel over this ... And once I brought him so that we almost broke up. I really do not want to lose him and decided to put up with the fact that he communicates with others. Tell me, please, can a guy who has a girlfriend communicate with other girls, even if by friendship?

I believe that he should only communicate with me and he should not have any girlfriends! Am I right or not? And can a guy, if he communicates with other girls, truly love his girlfriend?

The answer of the psychologist:

Hello Olga!

Popular wisdom - proverbs, sayings - accurately characterizes our life and often helps us. But sometimes the "axioms" of household psychology are harmful, for example, "jealous - then loves." Love is based on trust, jealousy is based on distrust and a sense of possessiveness - the desire to have a lover fully and undividedly, to control his life.

We give any situation our own meanings. For you, the fact that a guy communicates with girls, makes friends with them, means the possibility of treason. Perhaps in your picture of the world it is. But how many pictures of the world, so many people. In the picture of the world of another person, there may be friendship with a representative of the opposite sex. Therefore, only your boyfriend can answer your question.

Think about the fact that jealousy is a projection, that is, a kind of “mirror”, the transfer of one’s feelings, desires to another person. Unconsciously, a jealous person experiences forbidden desires, but does not give them an exit due to moral principles or fear of failure .. But they require an exit, and come out in the form of jealousy.

You are trying to fight jealousy by rooting out "causes." Only you see them outside, and with a deeper look, they always appear inside. Jealousy has many tormenting fantasies that eat up colossal psychic energy.

Learn to distinguish an objective situation from speculation and fantasy. Learn to stop yourself when you feel that you are starting to fantasize, and you can regain confidence.

It is possible, though not easy. To learn this is much easier and more effective in full-time consultation with a psychologist.

Respectfully,

	Open events
sat, February 23, 2019 - 12:30 Kiev	Crisis in a couple: psychologist consultation TAP (Creative Association of Psychologists)	1500 UAH

Good afternoon, dear ladies! We all have a past, but sometimes it breaks into our lives very inappropriately. Former lovers may appear on the horizon at the wrong time. But what if the guy communicates with the former? We know for ourselves that the former is only part of our story, but because of the boyfriend’s past girlfriend, nerves begin to play pranks. How not to go crazy with endless thoughts about it and not spoil your relationship with your loved one?

Personal space

Let's start with the fact that while in a relationship you should never forget about personal space. Your man has every right to communicate with different people, he can spend time the way he wants. If the husband wants to go fishing with friends, then he must do it.

Otherwise, you risk spoiling the relationship. The key to a healthy and strong relationship is that you trust the partner and each has his own piece of personal space.

Even if a guy communicates with an ex-girlfriend, you should not have a tantrum or scandal, with a fight of dishes and insults. This will only cause your boyfriend to stop telling you the truth. You should not arrange a scene for him because he met with his ex-wife. When asked why men continue to see their past passions, we will talk later.

Why does he communicate with her

Now let's see why they keep in touch.

To begin with, I propose to consider the situation with my ex-wife. They can have children in common, and there’s nothing to even think about. In any case, they will keep in touch. And you have absolutely nothing to worry about. If you are very worried about this, then read the article "". Maybe you will find a lot of useful and interesting things for yourself.

When parting, some people act wisely and remain friends. I have a large number of similar stories in practice. People once loved each other and were close. Love has passed, but I still want to communicate with a person.

Another option is that they have work matters. Perhaps your trusted excellent advertising specialist. And his ex needs advice. So she turned to him. In this, again, there is nothing criminal, because of which you should start tearing your hair out and looking for the fortuneteller's phone to curse her.

If your man does not make a secret from communicating with the former, then he has nothing to hide. This is just communication. You, on the contrary, should appreciate that the guy trusts you and talks about such things. After all, sometimes the opposite story happens.

Lying

When your beloved correspondence with the former and hides it, then there is reason to think. A lie can be caused by two reasons. First, he does not want to be a member of the scandal.

Many guys don’t say any things to their girls so that she wouldn’t have a tantrum again. To avoid scandal, he prefers to remain silent and not say anything. This does not mean that something is happening between them. This means that he simply protects his nerves from your claims. Be sure that if you calmly reacted, then no secret was made from such a story.

The second option - there really is something to hide. He may have inflamed feelings for his ex, but she is busy now and he is talking with her so as not to lose contact. Maybe they had an affinity, a moment of passion, due to surging past feelings. You probably will not be able to find out. Because they rarely tell about such things to their partners.

To be more savvy on the issue of lies, read the article "". If you are thinking about breaking up, but are afraid of the unknown, then here's a great article to help you overcome all your fears - “”.

Work on yourself

It is very important to have dignity and self-confidence. Scandals and tantrums most often suit women who do not feel in themselves the strength to keep a man. It is from such young ladies that the guys hide the truth.

A self-confident woman will not be jealous of the missus to the former. She perfectly understands that those relationships have exhausted themselves, that the guy chose her and is happy now.

Living in fear that a man will return to the former is a thankless job. You just tremble your nerves and the guy begins to consider you a tantrum.

I offer you two articles, after reading which you will understand that your internal forces and potential are capable of much: "" and "".

There is nothing worse than winding yourself. After all, nothing has happened yet, and you sit and imagine how they are already engaged in obscenities in his car. Draw pictures in your imagination. But only this happens in your head, and not in reality. And the sediment remains with you, as if it really happened. Drive such thoughts away!

You need to trust your beloved, respect his personal space, be able to hear him, give the necessary support and not be afraid to work on yourself. Then a truly strong, long and happy relationship awaits you.

But to pretend that nothing is happening at all is not necessary. If you see that it really smells fried, talk to him calmly and tell us about your concerns about his communication with the former. If you can’t cope with emotions, go to a psychologist together, a specialist will help you express your feelings in a friendly atmosphere.

What torments you? Why are you worried? What are your suspicions? Tell us about your problem and together we will try to find the most suitable conclusion.

Know your worth and don't let phantom fiction ruin your relationship!

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met a man he is 27 years old. I am 20. The relationship is wonderful .. we live in a place .. but men are terribly tormented by one moment ... He communicates with his ex-wife (there is a common daughter), I understand that in any case they should communicate ... but their communication is too warm .... .there is also one second his ex-wife, who loves him ... calls and writes to him every day ... how can we not get rid of her ... it kills me .... I love him madly and am afraid to lose ... too strong feelings for this man ... I don’t know what I to do ... how to react to it .... introduce it to him as in the order of things ... but it tears me inside out as part of ... .proshu help ..

Good afternoon. I want to ask you for advice. The guy and I lived together for 1.5 years and then we had a very bad fight, almost until we parted. I cheated on him, it’s a random occurrence of which I am very sorry. I ran after him for a very long time, asked for forgiveness, in every possible way I found a reason for communication. He forgave me, but not immediately. Now I found out that he is talking with his ex. He didn’t tell me anything, because I will upload a scandal and a tantrum. I don’t know what to do, advise something, please

Yes, I react to all this very violently. He communicates with the former, because he can not do otherwise, because her parents and his relatives communicate and he often intersects with her. But he also says that they all figured out among themselves that they will not be together anymore and I have nothing to worry about. But I can’t calmly react to it. I'm afraid to lose him. And now it seems to me that he constantly communicates with her, although he promised me not to communicate with her anymore. In general, I'm scared and I'm very afraid. And also not a fortuneteller has guessed that we will not be with him for a long time and will soon disperse. And I don’t want it like this and I live constantly in fear from the day I measured

He told me that he did not want to torment me anymore and said that there was no feeling for me. We did not see each other for 5 days, during these days we didn’t talk much and he says that he didn’t get bored at all and is NOT attracted to me. And the biggest trouble is that I'm starting to compare everyone with him and I can not do anything. I love him very much, and now he is talking with his ex and wants to return to a gay trip.

Good day! This is the first time I am in such a situation, so I decided to contact you. I am 26, a young man 25.
  On January 8, we decided to live together and started looking for a rented one-room apartment (since he rents a room, and I live with my mother). Talk about family, children, etc. The feeling of complete idyll .... and on the 9th day he comes home from work from the day, rings back and disappears. I can’t help but get in touch for 2 days. Then his uncle calls and asks not to disturb the guy for 2-3 weeks. And she secretly says the reason: the ex with her mother came to his house (room !!).

I’m shocked ... he answered my calls and SMS only once a week: "at the moment I don’t have a relationship. I'm sorry. Let's limit ourselves while in communication ... "(c)

And I'm sitting in bewilderment ... I don’t understand why she came, why he let her go, why he stopped talking with me, why such a strange time (2-3 weeks)

The fact of the matter is that he told me that he wants to come to the house where a delicious dinner, beloved woman and warm home atmosphere await him. He took the initiative to find a rental apartment. He did not communicate with the former for a whole year! They parted on his initiative (she cheated on him and non-Russians, although they had been together for 3 years and it was going to the wedding. They already talked with families, etc.) and he went to Moscow, began life at 0.

I think, more precisely, I can only guess that they came to "spud" him. They found out for sure that a man rented a room for himself in Moscow, provides for himself, sends money to his mother. Thought it means there is money and must be returned. It's my opinion.

I know that he is certainly kind and cannot say no. But here they manipulated and said, like they’re going to Moscow to treat their mother, and renting a hotel or apartment is expensive, they won’t pull it, so they asked him. And he made such a fool.

Now I don’t know what is going on there .... why it was impossible to put a framework for them (live the first time, then rent a hostel or something like that), and most importantly .... what happens there, that it isolated me from life! ?

I constantly think about him and this situation, thereby winding myself even more ....

Good afternoon! I have a problem, my husband constantly communicates with his ex-woman, who will not wait for everything when we get along and he will return to her. She provokes me in every way. I even left him on this ground, but every time he returns me with tears in his eyes and swears that he doesn’t need her and they don’t communicate. As a result, I again find out that all this continues, I don’t know if there is an intimacy between them or not, but I have lost confidence in him. I decided to file for a divorce, left him and he still communicates with her and, again, I still don’t admit to this and want to save my family. Can I change this or is divorce a real way out?

Elena, thank you for responding, it is very important for me. Every time he comes to terms with me, we calmly talk and I explain to him how it hurts and hurts me, and that thereby he gives her hope for a resumption of relations. And every time he agrees with me, but some time passes and everything continues again. The most annoying thing is that he tells her about our relationship, and consults on important issues for our family, and for him she is credible and he listens to her opinion. My a priori is not correct and is not taken into account. Moreover, not long ago, he raised a hand against me, because I slander them, and handed our conversation with him to her 3 (. Is it possible to fix this somehow?

Hello, I’ll write again from the beginning. I really need help from you. We lived with the guy for 2 years together, and before that we met for another year. Then we parted, it was very painful, it was hard experienced. They parted because he said that he did not love me, and did not want to continue something further. And a month later he made an offer to his first ex-girlfriend, whom he had met before me. 3 months have passed since the breakup, he has been writing to me for more than a month and says he loves. Can't live without me. He said that he would not cancel the wedding but would not live with her, he would divorce right after the wedding and wants to be with me. I want it too, but I'm scared, I'm afraid. But I love him and I want him to come back to me. I am now 21, he is 25 years old.

No, the bride doesn’t know anything, he just says that he doesn’t want to cancel everything, since everything is paid and his parents will not forgive him. He cheated on his bride with me. And it was no coincidence in consciously. He said that he wants it, wants to be with me. But I'm afraid all my relatives are against it, but I love him and I can’t say no when he reaches for me

Hello. I have such a problem: my husband communicates with his ex, hiding from me and arguing that they have friendly relations, just a little warmer. They lived together for 5 years, he gets along well with her family and with her child, parents, etc. The gap was caused by an abortion, she could not forgive this, they have no children in common. I met, they began to live together, six months later he began to talk with her, lie to me, sit with her in common companies when I was at home and waited for him, after which I became pregnant, and even throughout my pregnancy he periodically talked to her, saw , I knew about this from the details of the calls made, before the birth I promised that I would not communicate with her, nevertheless, this stopped only for six months and then it all started again. She calls him, she allows herself to talk to me in a disgusting tone, with assaults, mats, etc. without putting in anything, but I’m generally a legal wife, and who is she ??? Do not calm down. Be that as it may, he makes contact with her, continues to communicate, in the majority she becomes the organizer of this. He tells me that there’s nothing there, that it’s just warm friendships, she calls on the case if something suddenly happens or asks for help, nothing more, that he loves me and the child, he does not need her, but how to prove it to a person that to me it is more than just not nice. She can call at night and drop, then saying that something is with the phone, well, what is it, is it normal? For a long time he compared me to her, poked at my flaws of some kind, said, but she was like that, she was such, etc., although she was intoxicated, I was tired of this whole situation, please advise me, how to be : ((

Good evening. I have a problem. My man is talking with an ex-girlfriend. They have an age difference of 27 years. They broke up very hard. He gave her a birthday car and she disappeared from his life. As it turned out, she had a young lover in parallel. Half a year after the breakup, he met me. And our relationship began to develop actively. The former appeared a year after the break (wrote on the Internet). Since that moment, for two years now they have been communicating quite sweetly sincerely and romantically flirting. And I just can’t understand WHY ?. And where is the elementary manhood? When I met, I was told that his soul was torn to shreds, that he did not even want to remember those relationships. That she pumped out a cloud of money from him, etc. .. And now everything suits him. It turns out he could forgive everything. I am the woman he loves, and she is just a former lover.

He is there and here. We have been in a relationship for 3 years. And this situation continues for the last two. I repeatedly asked him to stop talking to her. He said that she writes herself once a month, and he, as a decent person, cannot but answer. he also argued that she felt bad because their relationship had broken up, and he was fine with me. As a result, I now radically ask her to be removed. I really want to invite a man to call her with me, and ask that she never call, write, and in no way show the fact of her existence. I feel that I will do so.

I have just that impression. Now I talked to him. He said that he had long forgotten her. He did not have any feelings for her, so he calmly communicates with her. If there were still feelings, he would certainly block her, because it is not fair to me ... and so on. I don’t believe him. I believe that if a person betrayed and forgotten, he cannot appear. All contacts are deleted and even if that side insists, writes sends a photo - no attention is paid to this. Personally, I would do just that. The betrayed person dies for me. I will not call him a date to drink coffee, I will not send a photo of the repair to show how everything in my life is shaping up cool. But he can. Sorry. For some reason I do not at all believe his arguments.

pushing is really useless. He only accuses me of not trusting him. There are pluses that hold in a relationship. But it seems that the situation’s delusionality will soon outweigh and I will leave .. Doesn’t understand. It will remain with his opinion that He did everything for me, and I offended him with my distrust. Sorry. A grown man is unique in his profession. And in the relationship here is such a seam.

i watched for a very long time. and nerves are not iron. Recent events and arguments on my part: I explained to him (I hope it came to pass) that his behavior, communication and stories about events in life are, first of all, a blow to me. That girl formed the opinion that I (as if so literary). For I make repairs, take care, help, and he calls her to "drink coffee" all the same! And this is elementary female logic. I’m not happy with this situation at all ... He said that he blocked it everywhere, deleted it and "let's put up." But to believe the words is difficult. The facts that this is true I do not have. Maybe I just consoled so as not to leave. Now I rest at home, he is at home. I'll see what happens next. If I understand that I’m lying, I’ll finally leave.

Hello everyone, I didn’t think that I would become one of those who would be depressed by the “connection with the former” (especially since she is in another city). I have such a story at the initial stage and until it has grown into something else, help resolve the situation. We've been dating for half a year, he’s been divorced for 2-3 years now, she knew that he was talking to her on business (discharge from home), I reacted to this adequately, now I find out that they congratulate each other on their birthdays, from February 23 she’s on his nose and on March 8 .. I was somehow indignant and expressed my assumption that it’s not right, that the past will interfere with the future, to which I heard that I invent everything for myself, wind up and what there is nothing wrong with that. I don’t like to push, but I will not allow my feelings to be swine. How could I gently talk about such a sensitive topic for me? p.s. I'm not afraid to lose, self-confident, self-sufficient, but there are life rules that must not be violated

Hello, Elena, yes, I decided to watch it all, and we don’t live together yet, so I don’t know what is happening behind me. I believe him, as he assures me to be calm. I will limit our meetings with him

Just by my feminine concepts, I want the man to reach for me, and not I constantly took the initiative in various situations. And when I take the initiative, I return to his past, which I think holds him ..

My husband and I have been living together for 3 years, we have a child. The problem is that when they started to live together they agreed that we stop communicating with former spouses. But since he has a child from his first marriage, he is 13 years old, he communicates directly with him, and his wife can write or call, if something happened, he fell, broke his leg, etc. So, for my part, I met the conditions and clearly explained to my ex-husband that I did not need to call and write. And he somehow did not explain, apparently, to his ex-wife. And when I saw their correspondence, showed discontent, then he began to erase messages so that I did not see, but told me that he did not communicate with her. What would that mean?

Hello! Please tell me, with a man in a relationship of 2.5 years, I recently found out that I had met with an ex-girlfriend (I served as the reason for breaking up their relations), the messages were all deleted, when talking to me she says that she sees nothing of the kind in their meeting, they decided “ to meet "and talk, find out how things turned out. What advise in this situation? (The ex-girlfriend has a young man).

Hello! I have such a situation, I am 21, he is 25, we have known each other since childhood, but only now we realized that we liked each other, we had been meeting for a couple of months. But he is talking with his ex-girlfriend. They correspond, her messages constantly catch my eye, even two times I called, he certainly answers her, behaves naturally, but I feel tension from him from this situation. Emotionally, all this torments me, but he lived with this girl for 2 years under one roof and I understand perfectly well that I will never succeed in erasing her from his memory. So what to do? Talk to him? I know my worth, I love and respect myself, I care about my boyfriend, I need him and I don’t intend to share it with someone! And one more thing, he is not trying to have sex with me. Although perhaps he is serious about me and does not want to rush, but based on the current situation, I am afraid to draw positive conclusions. Talk, affection, kisses, everything is there, but I feel this barrier .. please tell me, advise how to be ...

Catherine:

Hello! We have been dating a guy for 2.5 years already, two months ago we split up, as it turned out later it happened because he considered himself unnecessary and during this period he began to communicate with the former. Now we are together again, he removed the former from friends and I decided that it was all over with her. But recently, I saw his correspondence with her and made a scandal. He asked for forgiveness and said that he loved me, and he just talked to her. But in the census there were SMS “I Love: *” and he says that it’s kind of a joke. And I don’t know how to look at it. Prevent him from talking to her? And if he will slowly do it, as before ... I seem to be not against their communication, if I am sure that this is just communication, but at the same time I do not want them to communicate. He says that it is not clear with us what is happening and therefore he talked to her. Please help, what is the best way to proceed?

Hello! Need help, advice. We meet with a guy for 4 months, everything is fine, sometimes I take offense at him, I’m very touchy, but I immediately put up. Calling me to live, but I’m afraid to move so early, and we didn’t tell each other that we love each other. She is acquainted with his two friends (the guy and the girl are in a relationship, but now everything is confusing and she wants to part with him), they all once studied together, he communicates well with this girl, she tells him a friend. And then after the weekend, I went into his old phone, which we photographed on the weekend (went to another city where I wanted to visit) and my curiosity made me go to SMS, I opened a correspondence three years ago with this girl and found that they had a sexual relationship for some time when her boyfriend was in the army. I became very unpleasant, because I am a very jealous girl, they deceived both of those guys in the army, and now they continue to communicate. In the evening I asked my boyfriend whether he had met her, he said yes, and that it was before she met her boyfriend, I said that I had read their correspondence, and that she already had a boyfriend by date, then he confessed. In my words, why did he lie for the first time, said that this was his worst secret, that he didn’t want anyone to know. I reassured me that they now have just friendly communication, but I am very worried, because once they were drawn to each other, and in general I worry that this indicates his infidelity. He tells me that he has me and he does not need anyone. I asked to show correspondence with her in contact for the last 4 months, but she was deleted (maybe deleted so that I wouldn’t read by accident, because I often spend nights with him). He says that he cleaned up all correspondence with whom he met before me a long time ago. And I worry that they can still flirt like this by correspondence, or suddenly they wrote about me and compared it with me. Together we spend a lot of time, but I am still very worried and do not know how to believe him now.

Good afternoon! I found her husband’s correspondence with one of his former girlfriends, they met in their youth, 20 years ago. At first it was just a conversation, then declarations of love on both sides began. I'm in a trance! We live together for 16 years, we have experienced a lot together. Married for love. We have two kids. I don’t know how to behave now with my husband, what to choose a line of behavior and generally, whether to talk and what to say ... Advise.

Hello, Elena. Thanks for the answer. I agree, perhaps this correspondence is a state of nostalgia, but it can turn into another, especially if the opposite side is ready for this. For me, the main thing now is how to behave.
  The husband is by nature a difficult person (fire sign), but reliable and open. At the beginning of my family life, there were skirmishes, mostly over trifles, but then I realized that it was better to remain silent, and it cools down, and we come to a mutual decision. I can’t suspect him, because whenever possible together, relax together.
  We talk about everything openly. At first, I often reproached my husband (if that didn’t suit him), which caused him not good feelings. But I understood and changed tactics to requests and dialogue. Our relationship is probably ice and fire. I read that Aries either love or hate. (56 shades of gray - this is definitely not about them! :-)) Mind I understand that we are dear to him, and he is to us. He never gave me reasons for jealousy, nor did I. (although by nature he is very jealous, and unreasonably).
  I am sure that he is not going to leave everything (and there is something to leave) and go to raise other people's children (her, from two marriages). He told me that he could not marry a woman with someone else's child. I can’t choose a tactic. If this is left to chance, I will exhaust myself, constantly thinking about it and checking correspondence. Keep your finger on the pulse? And if you go further, then take action? And which ones? I know from the experience of others that it is better to cut such a relationship in the bud! (I mean correspondence). Already thought maybe call her. He is far from being a fool, if I say everything I think and know about it, he, too, is afraid to lose everything. Shock therapy would probably be useful, but I'm afraid I can not stand it myself. I am a soft person by nature (but not soft-bodied). I can’t talk to anyone about this. And why, how many people have so many opinions. Need a look and expert advice.

I beg your advice. Before me, a young man met a girl for 3 years, his first love can be said, she was the initiator of the break, cheated and talked with another. He was ready to forgive, but she went to another. After a couple of months, he began to meet with me, we are together for 3.5 years, we live together, introduced me almost immediately to my mother (this was not the case with her), they were going to get married in a year. But here the other day I see that he is in correspondence with the former, naturally offensive, scandal, nothing in the criminal correspondence, but the fact itself. I don’t know what to do, he repents, says that he made a mistake, that he was a fool, stumbled, that he would not happen again. What should I do in this situation? Forgive and live on? I love him of course, I can’t part. Of course, I explained to him that it was unpleasant for me, and so on.

Victoria:

Hello, Elena. Please tell me how to relate to this situation: I heard a husband talking on the phone with his ex-wife (there is a common child and they communicate from time to time). He said the following: On the sea, several times I almost didn’t name her by your name, I had to bite my tongue .... How to regard such recognition? I’ve been winding myself up for the third day. Is it normal if there really is nothing between them? We talked, said that nothing was behind it, I had lost peace ...

Hello! My husband and I have been together for 8 years, including 3 years of marriage, 5 years of living in a civil marriage. 2 years ago I saw him correspondence with an ex-girlfriend, he broke up with her, she cheated on him. I understood from correspondence that he was helping her with money, she was sending him intimate photos. I threw a scandal, threatened with a divorce, but how I talked and communicate, only now hides the correspondence. But I found out again. Scandal. Says it's just communication. That they simply align, correspond, there is nothing wrong with that. I asked him, and if I will communicate with the former? He says chat .. In general, I do not know what to do. 6 years of quiet life and 2 years of hell are simple.

good day, Elena!
Please help with advice. I met a young man who was at that time in a relationship (sluggish and with dying love, according to him). We had more flirting and easy relationships with him. They began to meet, after a while I realized that I want a serious relationship with him, and I do not plan to share with anyone. Suggested to make a choice. He cried, said that he wanted to be with me, but he felt sorry for that girl, because once they had a good relationship, and he had no idea what he would say to her, how he would say that despite the fact that they had rarely seen each other and often cursed, for her it would be like a butt on the head. At that time I felt like the last cattle. I say, well, if there are such tears, such torment, then there are feelings, I will not insist and stand between you, and I will not dictate to you what I will do. He says no, understand me, support me, I honestly want to be with you, I don’t need anyone else. Okay, then I say, I'll wait, part. He asked to give time so that it would be all calmly smoothly, without haste. Some time has passed, the relationship is not over, I’m calling, he doesn’t take it. Then I gave a specific deadline, the date on which he or she should give an answer. And from that date, if she calls or writes, I will already tell her not to call or write, and since he was afraid for her mental state, and did not want radical measures, he said that by the date everything would be decided. The date has come, he came, said that everything is there, that’s the point, only the reason for the breakup, he said in my opinion is completely ridiculous, that somehow everything is wrong ... I don’t want ... other outlooks on life .... and that you’re not ready to move for me to another city. Then I really did not like it, but I decided to trust the man and let go of the situation. Time passed and the call from her again, he does not pick up, resets, mutes the sound, hides, runs with the phone, does not let go of his hands. I make a decision, I say everything, you don’t need to come anymore — until you put an end to it, convey it to the person adequately, and she will stop calling. Because in his opinion, he said everything, and she does not receive feedback, but she calls and writes and cries endlessly into his phone. He left. After a couple of days, I collected everything, all her things (they did not live, but she remained at his place, until us), and drove her to her. That's all. He returned home, began to live again. But the phone is again on silent and always under its control. And what do you think again call - |) He drops. I insist that I would show correspondence, like all letters from her, there is no answer from him. Make up. And just recently, a message arrives at night. " . Remember how we dreamed about it ... about, remember? let's not ruin everything! Come on? ”Half a night of dismantling with us, scandals, I have to go to work, neither he nor she needs. From that even more offensive. In the morning, not a word or half a word, I say show your dialogue, say no, delete it. Well, show that you deleted what is empty, I won’t show it. I say let's not quarrel, just show it, I’ll see that there’s nothing from you and that's it , the conflict is settled, no, well then you give me a field for imagination, then the point is, he silently leaves the room without showing. Well, for me it became clear that the correspondence is ongoing, and on two sides, maybe the relationship is not there, since we are together all the time, but they did not stop communicating. This time I decide to finish everything. And so in general, without tears, tantrums, torment, I just coldly and deliberately make a decision. That's all. And honestly, my head really got the better of my heart and there wasn’t even any torment. My mind weighed everything and thought that I shouldn’t climb, interfere, and should be left alone, I won’t get a relationship on a broken heart and the ruins of a living relationship. But in the evening he arrived to talk calmly without tantrums. I was not opposed, because I was not even afraid of seeing him, change my mind. He said that he didn’t love her, that he simply had a very soft character, that he was afraid that she would do something with herself, that he never had anything with me, that he simply didn’t believe his happiness that he had met me, he wanted children from me, he wants me to be his wife, but she writes endlessly, and he keeps his finger on the pulse and is afraid to blacklist her that it’s not so beautiful, that he is the initiator of the gap and she did not expect, and he doesn’t have right now it hurts so badly. I'm already tired to be honest. We drove home silently, I just wanted to stay alone, to be with myself. Because I have this for the first time, and I just don’t know how to react, push ... let go .... On the way, an SMS came to him from her of an intimate nature, about her fantasies regarding him, he gave me the phone, I read everything, there’s feedback ... there is! although it’s so dry, not emotional, but there is ((((((((((((((((I’ll call you back ... I’ll dial a bit later ... no, I keep our memory ... we’ll talk later. She moved to our city for him. He talks with his family, he doesn’t prevent this in correspondence ... he even supports her aspiration, says that there is nothing terrible, talk. I’m tired. To prove, understand, insist and curse even tired (I went home, asked me to leave alone, he said - I won’t leave it alone, the night was with me, put it on the black list everywhere, wrote to me that I wouldn’t write to him again, and that he has a new life. I begged not to give up, give a second chance, said I’ll think about it. In the morning, again hiding the phone, as if to protect my nerves, she was already talking across her throat and he had no more strength to talk about her, to swear that was enough. I am confused, will this continue all the time? Or do you need to pull yourself together and part? Or just endure this time of breaking, parting, resentment together, he is also hard for him, he says, it’s not very easy for me, everything turned around like that. I don’t even know (Or since he is so indecisive, write to her myself (but I like this option least of all for many reasons), but also as an option.

Thank you very much, found! I decided to try to build a strong relationship. I left for 3 days with my parents, I took everything and thought it over. I see his sincere repentance, and regret over the current situation. I hope this was definitely the last stormy outburst that opened his eyes to him and to me. I will do everything in my power to keep these relations, and after this situation will become even stronger. We meet tomorrow after 3 days of separation (before, more than half a day had not been separated). I missed you ... and he writes that too. I will be grateful for your kind, professional advice for the future and specifically for a meeting to fix this sad experience, leave it in the past and certainly not repeat it in the future.

Hello. Please help me deal with the situation. In a relationship of 1, 5 years. I’m 12 years older than him. The difference is visible, but does not strike the eye. He likes older women. First met. The reason for the break with the second half was us. I have been married for 8 years. He lived with a girl for 5 years. Then he began to live in two houses. Me and my parents. In connection with work .. I live in another city and he is far from getting there, so he sometimes stays with his parents .. They agreed not to communicate with the former. I have two children, this is not an obstacle for him. But he often said that he wanted a baby. Because of his health, pregnancy did not occur. And unexpectedly for the two of us, the test showed two stripes. We were very happy, so happy I have not seen him yet. But just a few days later he began to doubt suddenly something would be wrong with the child (of course, there are some concerns). I explained to him that pregnant women undergo a lot of tests to deviate fetal development, but so far we have not come to a consensus. But the matter is compounded by the fact that he continues to communicate with the former. At first I said that give me time and everything will be fine. He swears to me in love. And a conversation recently took place. I had previously expressed my displeasure, but then I began to put pressure on him and said that it was time to stop talking to her. And he admitted to me that he can do nothing and it seems to him that he loves both of us. I kicked him out, he left, but literally half an hour later he came and began to say that he couldn’t do without me that he loved. She dreams of living with me all her life. I also love him very much and forgave him. I decided to see what happens next. How can I make sure that he still makes his choice. I know for sure that he is not cheating on me, at least for now.

i don’t know what exactly ... just some kind of flair ... well, what else could move us, works a lot because of this, we don’t spend time together, we don’t really talk, although we work together. there is no sexual life for a month ... it got a little cooler ... although sometimes there are bursts of attention ... but despite this caring, he asks how health went to the hospital (health problems). I think that she is very tired because of work, since I myself see that it is difficult. He drove to St. Petersburg for the new year to meet his parents. he had never seen anything like it before. I hope that all the same the meeting was friendly, why, because, in principle, I remained in good relations with my ex. He’s 29 to me 20 ... for a year of relations, they swore just a couple of times and that is not serious ... When I want to talk why it happens in a relationship, she asks to be left behind. Well, you can also understand him the woman’s troubles were still not enough. and It’s quite possible that he didn’t want to talk about the meeting because he would not want a scandal. knows that she’s jealous ... Helps me in the treatment. but now for two days now there has been intense communication because there were attempts to talk about us and he got out of bed ... now he comes home from work and is bullied, he doesn’t really communicate ... but he seems to have thawed out tonight. through the social networks I watched how my day went (although he never does), asked if I was home .... I honestly really want to believe that I just cheated myself, the meeting was friendly and did not carry anything in me.
  and about sex, it’s also clear when you get tired like a dog at work, the only thing you want is to eat and sleep ..
  maybe I'm too naive ... but I love what to do ...

Good evening!
  I have such a situation, I broke up with the former as early as a year. In the fall, I started talking with MCH, he also parted with his own, but at that time they had a gap of 2-3 months, we talked to him, went to the movies and so on ... started talking very closely ... it was close to the new year, I thought to meet together, but he said that he would be at home with his mother, and then sleep. As a result, I saw on New Year's Eve their joint photos with the former, I was very upset because I had already managed to fall in love, but I was not taken aback and spent the night with friends. Then the countryside left, and he did not even write and did not call from January 31 to January 3.
I could not stand it first wrote (there was a reason, he had my phone case, and I wanted to pick it up) to which he calmly reacted and said yes to meet and I will give it to you, but after I asked him how he met ng, he replied that it was just fine ... to which I sent him a screen photo where they are already at his place together ... and said that I was fine with him, but let us leave it well last year. He didn’t react very much, he didn’t like my answers - well, that’s fine, and when I said that I would take him away and that’s where our conversation would end. As a result, we agreed to meet on one number, I couldn’t, then he couldn’t three days in a row and finally we met (when he froze me for three days, I said let him throw out the cover, I didn’t need him, he asked me - then this was an excuse for a meeting ?! Naturally, yes) Comes with flowers, I’m talking with him, he just said it happened, but we are not with her, I tell him, if you didn’t finish anything there, go back there, but forget about me, said no, there everything is. Then I ask him if you want a chance, said I want, then I asked the question if you need this chance, said he needed it. Since then, they began to communicate very closely with him, spend more time together, again a cafe, a movie, etc., introduced him to friends. He said - you see how close you are to me, I introduce you to friends, I really appreciated it. When I don’t come to him, she says that my mother asks about me. But today I found pictures where he is in a common company with the former, they are sitting next to him, this photo is just at the end of January and now there are suspicions that he is talking to her, although I don’t show him that I’m jealous, throwing tantrums is not mine ... Not I know what to think ... I fell deeply in love with him ...

Hello, I’ve been communicating with the MCH for more than a month. Recently spent a weekend together, a bunch of emotions, everything was perfect. He introduced me to friends, business partners, introduced everyone as his girlfriend. But then I find out that he is going to visit relatives and friends of the ex, respectively, with her presence (they broke up about 4 months ago, said that he told her that he had fallen out of love, they had no future, etc.) wrote to me while I was there only a couple of messages, I didn’t even wish good night and good morning today, the situation is heating up me, I do not want to be deceived later. But I also consider presenting something not entirely appropriate, because we know so little ... Tell me how to be?

Good afternoon, I would like to hear your opinion after reading the article about communication between a man and his ex-wife.
We live abroad, I am 24 him 30. His ex-wife 42 they have a common daughter 4 years.
  The wife herself wanted to divorce him after she and her daughter could not successfully get over to, at that time, her husband. I couldn’t help her with work, and if I did find something, then she didn’t fit and returned home, and filed for divorce. I met my young man at the stage of divorce, initially perceived their communication as the norm, since there is a common child and financial issues. He told me that she knows about me, it’s normal for everything that they are friends.
  But, the further into the forest - the more firewood. Recently, very jealous, his ex terribly annoying me. As it turned out, she was far from an adult and smart woman. When I found out about our relationship, I married an eastern man who was 26 years old so that he could leave his country because he lives poorly there. She herself is now going with her daughter to him. At the weekend, my MCH calls up with my daughter and I hear that the girl does not like me: my mother is against me. Also, by the tone of his ex, one can clearly hear that I am definitely unpleasant to her.
  This whole situation is very upsetting for me, I can’t understand if Mch loves me because she constantly calls and consults with her, says that her opinion is important to him and this is despite the fact that a person is getting married to evil, then a child sets me up against me so that our life would not be calm.
  But in general, Mch introduced me to his friends, even with my mother. Although he did not introduce his girlfriend. It seems like he plans the future with me, he says that he will not return to the former and will not leave me, he says that he loves.
  Tell me how to be? Is it worth it to worry about their communication? How to behave? Very annoying her influence on him. Affects him and can further affect our relations. I’m trying to explain that I would listen to it less - it’s perceived in style.
  More likely she wants her and her daughter to come here to us, so that she can get an opportunity to see her child. This is also worrying. Girlfriends say that I'm just comfortable for him at the moment and it is not clear how this will end. I asked him directly, she says that I invent a lot of stupid things. And here is it really possible to find a place for yourself.
  I’m sitting here with emotions in my soul and waiting for the moment when she arrives and it becomes clear that yes and how.

Hello, Elena! I was 22 when 2 years ago I met a guy (there were 27 at that time), he said that he has a girlfriend who lives in another city. but we still met a couple of times for coffee. Then he left for the New Year holidays, as I understand it. When he returned we began to see more and more often. We already behaved like a couple, but I could not bear the fact that somewhere there is his girlfriend, I burst into tears and explained the situation. He said that he could not end her relationship over the phone and would part with her personally for Easter. According to him, their relationship was already too bad due to distance and other factors. After his parting with her, everything was like in a fairy tale. Then he left a couple of times to his parents. The first bell was when I accidentally found a printed photo of him with her from the concert, which was after the official separation just when he was leaving for his “parents”. I can’t show anything, as I essentially found in his things, but this is not good. Then she saw what she was writing to him. She said that I do not like it. A few months later I saw that she was writing to him again. Says it doesn’t mean anything. And now 2 years have passed since we know each other, but my friends and parents don’t tell me about the date at that time it was another. And I already almost forgot everything, since he does so much for me, he bears it literally on his hands, but reminders of his former put me out of order completely ... and even knowing about those photos that I illegally found. We talked about it a thousand times, he says how much he loves me and has never loved him so much before, and I see it. But the soul is still somehow unpleasant. What is it? Self-doubt or something serious? Every time he picks up the phone, I think she writes to him. Thanks for the answer!

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Most women define “flirting on the Internet” sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. That is, as we all understand, flirting is a kind of communication game, based on the manifestation of sexual feelings. And intellectually friendly conversation on interests obviously does not enter here.

Why did your husband start this double game and look for such acquaintances on the Internet, and what should you do? Most likely, you, like most other women, are asking the same question: “Does he really not understand what makes me hurt ?!” Hmm, in fact, this is a rhetorical question, since not one, as practice has shown, is a man has not yet given an adequate answer.

Why does my husband meet on the Internet?

So, the question is, why do they, men, not live quietly, calmly, next to their darling wife. And always at hand: flirt, I don't want to! But no, still pulling to the side. So the second question begs, why do they do it? There can be many reasons for this. Again, the forum users shared with us an opinion on where the legs grow in such a situation. Here are a few women's views on the situation. Some are inclined to believe that, every man is polygamous in nature. And such an online correspondence with other girls helps him assert himself. That is, to believe in their ability to please women, even being in a relationship (but they carefully hide this fact from their online girlfriends!), And thereby amuse their male vanity.

Anna, 33 years old:  “My husband is constantly chatting with someone on the Internet. Guys, they are like that - forever they need to assert themselves. I know that there are many women, but I have no time to bother about this. Because a person needs to communicate not only at work and at home. And certainly not only with his wife. If he will shy away after work somewhere, and then maybe .... comes home - this is straining! And so, well, let him communicate. Well, he’ll flirt a little, you won’t get his attention? ”

Sasha, 24 years old:  “For several years now, I have been experiencing a similar situation, the frivolous virtual communication of my beloved with other women, which does not turn into physical ... The problem arises, then it is solved through emotions and a bunch of emotions, then it arises again ... In my opinion, men are so arranged that I want to be “Don Juan” in the eyes of many women. Thus, the self-affirmation of their own masculine Self ... ”

Tanya, 34 years old:  “And this is his way of entertainment. They corresponded, laughed, remembered everything. Sometimes I also correspond with former people, nothing serious. This should be regarded as old friends met in classmates and all. I don’t think that you and your classmates (men) do not communicate, your husband can also think of something ... ”

Lydia, 35 years old: “I am not married, I am in search. Often, on the Internet, I come across married women who just want to be friends, but they constantly pee. I can only say one thing, they all have one common problem - unhealthy relationships in the family. Either the wife doesn’t care, and in fact they don’t live together, or they do not care about the wife, and she alone is simply not enough for them. That's

it turns out that if I want, then you just have to whistle, and they all would have jumped with me, dropping slippers, on a date ... "

By the way, psychologists just tend to believe that it is family problems that push men to online flirt. Often unresolved and even undetected. Experts in the field of family relations say that if your husband is chatting on the Internet with other women, and this does not give you peace, then for a start it is worth taking a look at your marital relationship.

Husband chatting with girls: how to behave?

If you caught a husband during correspondence with another girl - do not panic! Not a fact, this is what you thought about. First, calmly ask who he is texting with and why. If this is his former classmate, then there is nothing wrong with what they say. But if the correspondence is far from friendly, then it is necessary to resolve the issue.

When asked why he corresponded with other women, men usually reply that this is just friendly communication, and he corresponded from the fact that he is bored at home, that he wants other sensations. It is one thing when it is a simple correspondence, a conversation about common interests, but when there is open flirting or much more serious - this must be stopped. In this case, ask if he wants to get a divorce (ask this question as a check for lice).

If your husband says that he is bored and wants variety, then maybe your life together is very boring and boring? In most cases, this lifestyle leads to the fact that the husband communicates with other women or leads to adultery. How to solve this issue I wrote in the article: male and female infidelity. I will say only one thing - every day to see a wife in a bathrobe is not very romantic. Do not forget about makeup, no one disputes that a girl is beautiful without him, however, correctly applied cosmetics simply emphasize your beauty. By the way, I recommend to study the rating of cosmetics, it will help you choose a good and high-quality product.

Communicate with your husband more often, go for a walk, arrange romance at home ... If all this doesn’t help, then put an ultimatum, or he stops communicating with women, or ... - then set the condition depending on the situation.

From the point of view of psychology

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon to encounter the problem of misunderstanding between husband and wife. As a rule, at least two are to blame for this situation. As for the fact of treason, then I will refrain from commenting because you are talking about it on the basis of the read correspondence, and this is not a sufficient basis for any charges.

In any case, the situation is unpleasant and you need to find a way out. To begin with, you should decide on the priorities: do you want to save the family and what are you willing to sacrifice for this. As a rule, accusations against the husband and his demands to give an explanation about what is happening do not lead to anything good, the result may turn out to be exactly the opposite of what was expected.

Why is this happening? For two main reasons: firstly, blaming your husband, you put him in a defensive position, and since the best defense is an attack, he will easily go on the offensive and the conflict will begin to develop; secondly, there is a risk that he will simply become cautious and will carefully hide his communication from you. This happens when the whole blow is aimed at the investigation, and not at the very cause of what is happening in the family. After all, it is obvious that not overnight your husband turned into the one who is in full contact on the side with other women, writes to them about his feelings, etc., all this developed sequentially, step by step. I’m not trying to justify your husband’s behavior and blame you, no, but only through your behavior you can influence him.

It is known that any phenomenon has a reason, and if you simulate these very causes, you can achieve the desired behavior. Most likely there is some dissatisfaction in various areas of family life. This was the reason that your husband, having lost something in his family, began to look for it on the side. There may be dissatisfaction with affection, tenderness, attention. It is quite possible that you do not discuss his problems with him, he does not share his own experiences with you, and you are not a friend to him. Yes, it’s just another, no matter how naive it sounds. It is well known that love consists of three main components: respect, friendship and the intimate sphere.

Try to change your own model of interaction with your husband, he will begin to change in response. In conclusion, I would like to advise you not to involve third parties in solving this problem. Let her remain between you, so it will be much easier to safely resolve it than under the condition that relatives on your or his part will be involved in her decision. An exception may be the intervention of a local Muslim scholar who would explain to your husband the inadmissibility of such behavior.

In the absence of positive dynamics, psychologists recommend contacting a family psychologist, because by improvised means, apparently, such a pathology cannot be cured. But again, this is only if the whole situation has not completely exhausted you, and you are ready to fight for your happiness further. Otherwise, it’s not your person and not your story, because such a man on a subconscious (and perhaps even quite conscious) level is looking for a replacement for you, and, accordingly, your family relationships. So he asks, do you need this constant struggle for a person who does not care about your trust, your family and you as a whole? By the way, most members of the forum are in solidarity with psychologists: you need to drive such a man upside if his moral principles radically diverge from yours. Well, of course, there are ladies who recommend turning a blind eye to the polygamous behavior of their man and looking for him all sorts of excuses to save his family and his nerves. As they say, how many women, so many opinions. Well done, the question is really controversial. What you are ready for the sake of the family is up to you to decide. Well, we wish you honesty in relationships, sincere love and loyal partners!

The opinion of men

Vladislav, 44 years old

This is treason! This is worse than treason! It is impossible to draw a line in human feelings - this is the present, and this is virtual. Everything is real! Flirting on the Internet is not just a threat to existing relationships, it is a sign that the family is collapsing, that something is wrong with it. Because emotional closeness is more important than physical ... Yes, you can justify yourself to your wife that it is all virtual, and she can even agree with you. But deep down she will stop believing in you and your love for her. Because she will understand - there, on the Internet, it was good for you with another woman, and it does not matter that there was no physical proximity. My husband was fine with another woman - what else can I say?

Alexander Skobelev, 48 years old

But seriously, your man if he is yours and truly loves you, HE won’t definitely change you ... And the correspondence in the social networks is not a reason to arrange a jealousy scene, because firstly, a man who loves you will not go further than correspondence, and secondly, this correspondence may to be connected with some kind of his interest .. For example, photography, skiing, volleyball ... Then he was just unlucky ... and you are not jealous of the object of correspondence, but of this very interest + you’re not sure of yourself ... A self-confident and confident man even such a question did not arise, because social Children are created to ensure that people all over the world to communicate ...

Yakuza, 28 years old

Unpleasant of course, but there is nothing terrible here so far. Online chat with girls is like a sexual fantasy for unfree men. And you, too, have a right to it. Only here it is important not to miss this line between fantasy and reality.

Stephen, 30 years old

Flirting is essentially a signal, a person blinks like a beacon - I am free, I am ready for other relationships, everything went wrong with my wife, I am ready to become the object of your love! And what is it if not treason?

Igor, 40 years old

As a psychiatrist, I know for sure - at the moment when a person is flirting, even on the Internet, he completely does not remember about his other half, or rather, completely forgets about her. That is, flirting betrays her into oblivion, and hence the infidelity of words and thoughts in relation to the partner, in general, it is a betrayal. Or ordinary treason!

Victor, 32 years old

It looks like a man is bored with you, so he complements communication in social networks ...

Many men do not see anything terrible in the fact that they communicate with other women on the Internet. They do not think that such situations lead to indignation of their soul mates, who cannot understand how a person in love can allow this kind of communication.

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It is completely logical that the girl does not accept this behavior, she begins to be jealous and angry. Often even comes to a breakup. Before you burn all the bridges, it’s worthwhile to figure out if a man is really chatting with other women because he wants to change, or is this just communication.

• Show all

    How to understand that a man is chatting with another woman

  In such a situation, it all depends on how the guy feels. If this is a usual conversation with a colleague about a new order or a conversation about a boss, then in such a situation there is a high probability that for a man this is just business correspondence. If he became interested in any particular person with whom he was not connected in any way, and corresponded with her daily for several hours, then in this case it is worth starting to sound the alarm.

  Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to whether the man’s attitude towards his second half has changed. If a guy starts a mistress, then in this case he can go in 2 ways:

  • Become the most caring and gentle.The man feels his guilt and begins to bestow his other half with gifts, attention and tenderness, which she had never noticed before. So he tries to apologize to his beloved for the fact that he has already begun to subconsciously cheat on her.
  • Start behaving aggressively.In this case, the man is angry with the woman and believes that she herself is to blame for the fact that he began to be interested in other girls. In a similar situation, he begins to insult his other half, humiliate her and express dissatisfaction with almost all issues.

    Why do men chat with other women

  If a young man spends a lot of time on the Internet and enthusiastically considers profiles of different girls on social networks or dating sites, this confirms that he himself does not understand what he wants from a relationship.   Additionally, this may indicate:

  • the lack of attention from his beloved;
  • the lack of communication with your soulmate;
  • about too many domestic problems;
  • the desire to assert oneself and cause jealousy;
  • about wanting to flirt and see what happens.

  Sometimes it happens that if people live together, then after a while sexual interest in each other disappears. In this case, the emotions gradually fade away and the partners begin to concentrate on other things. A strong respect, mutual understanding, etc., appears in the relationship, but passion disappears.

  Some men calm down and enjoy the fact that they have found life partners and can now concentrate on building a shared future. Others become bored and thirsty.

  

    What does talking about sex with other women mean

  The most unpleasant thing that a girl can stumble upon while studying the correspondence of her beloved is vulgar conversations or ambiguous hints. If a man communicates on the topic of sex with another woman or she sends him her photos of intimate content, then in this communication there is nothing good.

  In such a situation, one does not have to talk about friendly correspondence. You should not believe the words of a man who can say that he just wanted to make a joke on a depraved person or was interested in how far she was ready to go. In this case, we are talking about serious problems in relations that need to be addressed immediately, until the partner decides to transfer communication with the interlocutor to another level.

  

    What to do in such a situation

  If a woman found her soul mate during correspondence with the other, then do not panic. You need to ask your partner about the purpose of such communication.

  Men always say that the correspondence does not contain anything serious, even if it occurs with a mistress whom they have been dating for many years. Some partners claim that they just got bored at home and for the sake of interest they decided to talk with someone. Therefore, it is worthwhile to independently study the correspondence.

  If a girl clearly sees undisguised flirtation in messages, it is worth stopping such communication as soon as possible. To show the spouse that it is unpleasant for a woman, but not to bring the relationship to scandal, it is worth translating the whole matter as a joke and asking her husband in a humorous form about a divorce. If a man understands hints and loves his wife, then he himself will stop communicating.

    Calmly analyze the situation

  No loving person will be able to look indifferently at how his other half flirts and sweetly communicates with someone else. Before you start to panic, you need to pay attention to how the conversations between the young man and other girls proceed. If the beloved congratulated the former classmate on her birthday, then there is no point in accusing him of betrayal.

  If the correspondence contains compliments and flattery directed to the address of another woman, then this indicates that there is flirtation in communication. If a girl invites a young man to meet, there is a risk that such a meeting will take place.

  If the partner has a child from his ex-wife, then correspondence on the network or talking on the phone is quite normal. The child should not suffer because of the divorce of the parents. Talks of ex-spouses should not be too warm. If during communication they rarely remember a joint child, then this can cause suspicion.

    Think about relationships

  If the husband says that he is bored, then there is no need to continue to understand his correspondence. You need to think about what has changed in the relations of partners in recent years. Perhaps the couple stopped considering each other as sexual objects, the family lost tenderness, warmth and mutual understanding.

  It’s better to work on relationships once than to stop spouse communication with new women again and again. It is worth considering what he lacks, since such behavior indicates that the partner is unhappy.

    Talk heart to heart

  If the relationship is at a stage when people completely trust each other, know all the shortcomings and are ready to put up with them, then you need to sit down at the negotiating table. It is worth talking and calmly asking the guy why he is interested in postscript with other women.

  If he will meet and explain the situation (he will say that he has stopped arranging an intimate life with a girl), then you should not start to be angry with him. There was no betrayal, so it’s too early to burn bridges.

  If a man refuses to comment on his actions or is constantly lying, claims that there is no correspondence, do not panic. Too many guys are afraid to admit to such things, since they fear that their girlfriend may misunderstand their actions and decide to break off relations. Sometimes a much more terrible betrayal is hidden behind correspondence, so a man prefers to pretend to the last that he does not understand anything.

    Give up revenge

  Many girls take revenge to show their partners how unpleasant it is to realize that your loved one may be unfaithful.   Unfortunately, this is very rare, as:

  • Even if a woman begins to defiantly correspond with other men, her partner will perfectly understand this and will not have absolutely no feeling of jealousy.
  • A man, on the contrary, will perceive this as a kind of permission to correspond with other women: since his other half is possible, then he too.
  • Many guys belong to the category of people who believe that some things (including correspondence) are strictly forbidden to their chosen ones. In this case, a more violent conflict cannot be avoided.

  If you really want to make a man nervous and indignant, you should do wiser. For example, if a woman suddenly has a message from a stranger on her phone that her husband sees by chance, this will cause a lot more jealousy. Or just put a password on the phone. A man does not even need to see the correspondence, the very fact that the girl is hiding something from him will make him nervous.

    Have a romantic evening

  Instead of spending time on revenge on a loved one, you should behave more intelligently and take measures in order to renew your former passion and tender feelings towards each other. Therefore, it is worth preparing a delicious dinner, light candles and put on a new dress. When a man comes home from work, he will be pleasantly surprised.

  If a girl attends several lessons of erotic dancing or massage, then this will be a great addition to a romantic evening. No man in such a situation will think about virtual communication with another woman when a beautiful girl sits in front of him.

    To please a man in details

  Even the most trifling manifestation of care and love towards a man will make him take a different look at his soul mate. If in the morning he finds a note in the refrigerator with a declaration of love or sees a mug of hot coffee in front of him, then he will definitely appreciate this attitude.

  It is worth buying beautiful underwear and sending your photo in it to your spouse when he is at work. Such innocent sexual pranks really turn guys on. Do not assume that if a woman begins to surprise her beloved, this will humiliate her. On the contrary, men need attention, only in this way they understand that they are loved and appreciated.

    Arrange a vacation without children

  When a child appears in the family, all attention is paid only to him. This leads to the fact that the spouses do not have the strength to stay together, as a result, the husband finds an outlet in the form of communication with other girls.

  You need to take a short vacation and send the children to grandparents. It is recommended to go to rest in some romantic city or on the coast. If this is not possible, then even at home you can come up with a lot of interesting activities that will help partners get closer (board games, watching a movie, etc.)

  At this time, you do not need to think about the reasons for the husband to communicate with other women. It is worth concentrating on getting pleasant emotions, then all the problems will recede into the background by themselves.

    What you should not do

  In such a situation, it is very difficult to remain calm and not to begin to sort things out with your spouse. You need to understand that in no case should you fall into hysteria, cry or appeal to the pity of your other half.

  Mistakes most often made by jealous women:

  Wrong behavior	Explanation
  Play on husband's feelings for children	It is not a good idea to tell that because of common children, a man has no moral right to communicate with other women. Such arguments have absolutely no effect on the guys, but, on the contrary, they provoke them even more and cause a desire to chat with other calmer women who do not create problems
  Follow the man	If a man realizes that a woman has completely lost confidence in him, then this will only further shake the already fragile relationship
  To belittle	If you demonstrate that a woman is ready to keep her lover with all her might and will do anything to stay with him, this will only humiliate her in the eyes of her partner
  Compete with "pen pal"	Regardless of whether the girl wins or loses, it will not bring any satisfaction. There is a big risk to realize that a rival has the best qualities. This will only lead to the appearance of additional complexes
  Write to an opponent	If you write a message to the girl and state the essence of the situation, it will only flatter her. If before that she was not interested in a guy, then after talking with his girlfriend, she herself will enter the competition
  Suicide	Any type of such threats will not cause the reaction that a woman expects. If such thoughts appeared in your head, then in such a situation it is worth turning to a psychologist who can help partners

    How to behave if nothing helps

  When a woman has done everything possible, but her beloved still shows interest in other girls, there are only three tips that you should follow:

  • Come to terms.  If a girl is not ready to part with her husband or boyfriend because of his communication with others, then this fact must be accepted. A woman must learn to relate to such behavior as to another drawback of her beloved. You need to overcome jealousy in yourself and believe that nothing will go beyond the correspondence of your husband, so there is no point in being jealous of him.
  • Breake down.If a man refuses to devote himself to only one woman, then this situation will never change. It makes no sense to wait for a miracle. If a woman is constantly in a state of nervous tension, cannot sleep, eat, then you should not torment yourself mentally and physically. It is better to end such a relationship and find the person who will be interested in only one companion.
  • Visit a family psychologist.  A specialist will help to accurately determine the cause of such a man’s behavior and tell you how to act. Spouses may need to undergo a course of joint therapy.

  Each situation is individual. There are no universal tips to help improve your situation. It is necessary to consider not only the actual problem, but also the reason that led to its appearance.

    The opinion of psychologists

  Experts recommend considering the problem not superficially, but much deeper. With a man you need to act very carefully. If he is simply forbidden to communicate with other women, then this will only provoke him or he will become secretive and will continue virtual communication when his missus does not see him.

  Not always a woman has the opportunity to independently familiarize herself with the text of the messages. In this case, there is only a sincere conversation with the guy.

When a girl and a guy start a relationship, each of them in his own way represents how they will live. Some girls are categorically against the guy’s communication with the ex. The same can be said about the male representatives, not everyone supports the idea when their beloved will communicate with the former.

The first question to consider is what to do if a guy communicates with an ex. Is it necessary to see this as a tragedy, is it worth it to ring the bells and think about how to stop their communication? Most likely, your experiences are redundant.

If you understand and delve deeper into the essence of the problem, you need to say that the guy has already made his choice - he began a relationship with you. That is, the previous girl was as if ready for this. That is why there is nothing wrong with communicating with the former. In 1% of all cases, the guy will be unscrupulous and will abandon you to resume your former relationship. Otherwise, you have nothing to worry about, everything will be fine, and you can not worry about your relationship.

If a guy communicates with an ex-girlfriend, then they just kept friendly relations. But it is important to keep track of what is meant by the word "communicates." If he has secret meetings with a female representative, you can worry. Indeed, it is in such a situation that your loved one will most likely be ready to cheat on you.

To protect yourself, you just have to create together ideal conditions for each other in a relationship:

• Do not be very jealous. It is the fact that you follow your boyfriend everywhere that will make him more irritable and angry towards you. Trust is what he most likely wants in a relationship with you. Just trust and you won’t have any problems. By the way, all this applies to guys. If your girlfriend says “ex-boyfriend is talking to me,” take it calmly. No need to break down and go into rage to deal with the same guy, for sure he does not have a goal to hurt. Simple communication was never something supernatural and unusual.
• We need to pay more attention to each other. If the ex-boyfriend wants to talk, it doesn’t mean that you have to go missing all day walking with him. Your current boyfriend will probably be against such actions on your part. If you are free and you have no one, communication with the former is only your choice. You can spend all the time with him. The guy also needs to communicate with his beloved, she probably longs to talk about something good, about the future, about children, about family.
• Surprises should be made to each other. Do not be a boring couple, always try to make some unexpected gift or surprise. Be sure that even an inexpensive surprise will be very valuable for your soulmate. Speaking of surprises, think about whether the guy will communicate with you if you will give gifts to the former? It should be understood that this is simply an unacceptable action.

Communication girl with ex-boyfriend: is it scary?

If you are wondering why your girlfriend is talking with her ex, a feeling of jealousy has probably awakened. But is it appropriate or not? It is important to assess the situation as a whole. If you see that the contact of your beloved with her ex is too active, you should figure it out. If your girlfriend just occasionally communicates with a person, there is nothing to worry about. If, after parting, they remained friends, why not? You need to adequately relate to such a development of events. This is the only way to maintain your relationship and not quarrel.

Whether or not to communicate with your ex-boyfriend is your choice, and your task is only to make it clear that you trust and will not mind such communication. At the right time, show concern and jealousy, the most important thing is not to overdo it.

A friend of a former friend - an enemy or comrade?

If a girl says “talking with a friend of a former guy,” is it worth it to panic in this case? Surely this is just stupid, because a friend certainly will not be the one who can ruin your relationship. He is an ordinary person, like all others, it is quite safe to communicate with him. In this case, lay any concerns aside.

A friend of an ex-boyfriend is the same as a regular friend for a girl. And therefore, there are no acute dangers. You should always create comfort in your relationship. Then no one can destroy them. If you show any weakness and simply stop controlling everything, do not pay attention, then the girl will not stay with you and she will want to go as far as possible.

Communicating with your ex is not a crime!

If you wondered why a guy is talking with an ex, then you simply have paranoia. There is nothing wrong with simple communication. Yes, they broke up, but what was the reason? Maybe they just could not live together because of the incompatibility of the characters. That happens. Perhaps the feelings of love have faded, and they no longer want to be together. But parting is not always a quarrel. Communication after people dispersed can be regarded as a simple friendship. They can exchange some information, discuss something.

For example, is it worth communicating with a former guy if he is an interesting conversationalist? Nothing will happen if you throw a few words once a week, it will not make anyone worse. If you parted in elevated tones, you can even make peace if you wish, you still do not lose anything.

"Talking with a guy who has a girlfriend, isn't this a crime?" The question is asked very often, but for a professional psychologist it will probably seem very funny. So what if the guy has a girlfriend? You have no bad intentions and this is the main thing, right? If his girlfriend will worry about this, talk with her. Perhaps you will become best friends, and you will even forget about the guy’s case. We are all human and everyone has the right to communicate. If it does no harm, why not communicate with each other?

“The ex-boyfriend wants to talk to me, how to react?” Very simple, all you have to do is contact. If he offends you, he’ll probably apologize. If you already have a boyfriend, warn that communication will only be within the framework of friendship. Otherwise, you should not even worry and think about something bad. A guy may just want to see you on his friends list, so support him in this matter.

"What if the guy communicates with the former?" Nothing, you just need to live and develop a relationship with your loved one. Believe me, the one who loves you will not change you. If you wish, you can even meet an ex-girlfriend to make friends.

  Why does the guy communicate with the ex

Relations is a very complex science, but if you act correctly, all difficulties will go by the wayside. Be sure that with a competent approach and understanding of the situation, you will always remain only in the black. If you have a relationship, do not be jealous, but just live and enjoy the fact that this or that person is with you. Remember that the one who loves will not leave you, and the one who does not love will leave even if you tie it to yourself and hold it tight. Such is life, people remain only with those whom they love. You need to understand this and strive to find your love, with which you will be able to create strong relationships, and then a close-knit family, where everyone loving each other, respected and greatly appreciated.