Hatred and disgust. What is hatred? Hate
This helpful article will talk about hatred of people and the causes of the painful mental state of a person, which is akin to biliary anger and cruel envy.
Hatred of people in some cases is considered as a mental illness, which has a certain scientific terminology. But we will not be clever and give purely professional definitions of hatred.
In order to independently overcome hatred of people, it is necessary to completely reconsider your attitude to the surrounding reality and achieve a level of spirituality when envy and spitefulness will become a destructive act of voluntary self-destruction.
Hatred of people is born out of the womb of the worst envy, which haunts those who are not used to living in harmony with their own kind. Hatred can manifest itself as spontaneous activity of an unhealthy psyche, for which hair color, behavior and even the timbre of a neighbor's voice matter.
Painful hatred of a particular person entails a biased attitude and complete unwillingness to enter into friendly contact with him.
Surely many of those who are now reading this article, at least once in their lives, have experienced an uncontrollable feeling of hatred for an entire nation. And a nation is no longer an individual, but numerous people.
Such hatred burdens the psyche with a wrong and aggressive perception of those whose culture does not fall within the framework of individual understanding.
Universal intolerance and anger towards dissent, creates hatred, as a destructive feeling, paralyzing the mind.
And if the painful hatred of a particular person is justified by objective factors, then hatred of people is already a state of mind that needs to be rehabilitated as soon as possible.
To overcome hatred of people your efforts, you must clearly understand that you are in the tenacious clutches of ungrateful anger, which tirelessly reduces your days and weeks.
Signs of hatred towards people are regular incontinence, which is demonstrated aggressively and openly. To begin the difficult path of getting rid of hatred, start with a gradual restraint.
First let go of those who hurt you.
Connect the understanding that hatred of people has a specific reason. Your task is to objectively identify the causes of painful hatred of a particular person. This is achieved in a relaxed atmosphere by an internal conversation with oneself and an endless desire for a speedy recovery.
A man who hates people is deprived in this life of the necessary well-being, which determines the internal state of the person.
Hatred manifests itself spontaneously and by inertia. To overcome hatred, you should know what you are missing in this world. Designate your hatred with specific and truthful phrases to bring to the surface everything that prevents you from living.
one). I hate people because they live richer than me.
2). I hate people because of the fierce envy that prevents me from living and forms a wrong vision of objective reality.
3). I hate people because once upon a time one particular person lied to me. Particular attention should be paid to this point. Most often, the offense caused is transformed into revenge, which finds no way out and accumulates inside as symptoms of hatred of people.
four). I hate people because they don’t notice me and live by their own rules that are foreign to me. My hatred is a challenge to all of humanity, which is mired in a lie.
And so on.
After a detailed independent analysis of the causes of hatred of people, try to identify the paths that you see as getting rid of this harmful feeling.
If you are not noticed, then perhaps you can not fit into the social circle with your individual and foreign feature. To overcome painful hatred, it is necessary to clearly understand that you should constantly adapt to someone, and not challenge the whole society as a whole.
If the reason for hatred towards people lies in uncontrolled envy of someone else’s well-being, then this can only be overcome with a subtle philosophy and the understanding that wealth is only the outer shell of an often unhappy person.
Through regular self-hypnosis, learn to realize that rich people are as mortal as you are. Wean yourself to count other people's money and viciously look at someone’s well-being, believing that having achieved this, it will become much easier for you to live.
If your hatred is connected with a specific person, then you should overcome it with a clear understanding of the fact that your psyche is angry with those who expect such a blow. When you hate people, remember that you actually hate just one person.
Hatred of an alien culture and nation is a painful state of the soul, which must be fought with the formation of tolerance and understanding of the difference between people from each other.
Want to overcome hatred in the first place in order to achieve inner comfort and such a state of mind when you rejoice at what you currently have.
Look towards those who live worse than you.
As I already said, hatred of people is blind.
Therefore, open her eyes, having seen someone else's grief and connecting your compassion to your neighbor.
The day will come when you will feel this life as an exceptional opportunity to see, hear and love.
The material was prepared by I. Edwin Vostryakovsky.
A very strong emotional feeling is hatred. What is hostility and what events can cause its occurrence? Psychologists suggest that a person initially has a need for hatred, which he sometimes realizes with pleasure. We will talk about this negative emotion in this article.
Definition of a concept
Hatred is a long, intense, negative feeling, reflecting disgust, hostility, rejection of a certain object. They can be either an individual person or a group of people, an inanimate object or phenomenon. This emotion can cause specific actions of the object or its inherent qualities. You can hate an idea that contradicts the beliefs and values \u200b\u200bof the subject, a phenomenon that negatively affects his life, prevents the satisfaction of important needs for him. A strong negative feeling can be associated with a test of joy from any failures of the object of emotions, with the desire for him all kinds of evil, and even the desire to harm him.
Causes of occurrence
A feeling of hatred can arise on the most insignificant and petty occasion. It was the apparent irrationality of such reasons that prompted psychologists to put forward a version of the initial human need for hostility. can be easily inspired from the outside. Wars and other types of social and social conflicts are often accompanied by appropriate propaganda, inciting anger between people. Hatred of a strange, incomprehensible way of life, customs and values \u200b\u200bprovokes the most serious crimes against a certain group of people or an individual person. A hostile attitude can arise even in relation to oneself, if the individual feels that he is not reaching the proper level of his claims. In each case, one should find the reason for the destructive attitude to the subject of hatred, then the conflict that has arisen can be resolved, and hostile emotions will subside.
Love and hate
It is generally accepted that these two concepts are completely opposite to each other and are antonyms. However, in various cultures of the world, these emotional phenomena are inextricably linked and represent a kind of unity. Love and hate can simultaneously be combined in a person in relation to the subject of his feelings. Freud spoke of the dual nature of these emotions. The psychoanalyst considered that in close relations conflicts inevitably arise, generated by various contradictions. Some ethologists argue that the simultaneous manifestation of hatred and love is associated with mental and physical mechanisms that provide both humans and animals with the ability to deeply personal relationships and a natural tendency to aggression.
A possible explanation for the close relationship of love and hatred lies in the fact that the more the individual has in common with another person, the closer they are connected with him and the more he becomes involved in any relationship. Thus, the conflict between loved ones always proceeds with greater fury and passion than between strangers. The lack of common features and interests makes the opponent perceive more objectively.
Hate
Feeling irresistible disgust can cause anything. According to the object of hatred, several types of this negative feeling can be distinguished. For example, in addition to the adult, scientists also distinguish children's hatred. Usually it is aimed at parents after the appearance of a sister or brother in the family. Psychologists call the emergence of such an emotion in children "the feeling of Cain."
Fear and hatred are closely related. A person is hostile to an object that, as it seems to him, is capable of harming him. Such a manifestation of negative feelings sometimes becomes insurmountable. Scientists distinguish several types of pathologies:
- Misogamy is an acute aversion to marriage bonds.
- Mysandria is the hostility of a woman to men.
- Misogyny is the fear and hatred of men towards women.
- Misopedia - an aversion to children, including their own.
- Misanthropy is hostility towards people in general.
Types of aggression
As mentioned above, it creates the desire to hate your object with hatred. Evil can be caused in different ways, so psychologists distinguish several types of aggression.
Verbal and physical
The use of physical force to express one's negative emotions is called physical aggression. Hostility, expressed in the form of a quarrel, abuse, verbal accusations and threats, is considered verbal.
Indirect and direct
Direct aggression is directed directly at the object of hatred, indirect - these are acts acting on another person in a roundabout way, through gossip, malicious jokes, as well as disordered outbursts of rage (stamping feet, screaming and so on).
External and internal
External hostility is directed outward, while internal hostility is directed at oneself. The latter is manifested in self-abasement and the desire to do harm to oneself.
Reasonable (healthy) and destructive
The boundaries of aggression are sometimes difficult to determine. Some see hostility in energetic behavior. If aggression looks attractive and causes sympathy, then it can be called healthy or reasonable.
In this section, far from all forms of manifestation of hostility are given. In this kind are often very inventive.
Social hatred
There is a concept that scientists and psychologists commonly call the term "social hatred." What is this phenomenon? Some believe that this is a feeling of hostility and disgust experienced by a group of people. With hatred does not matter. Others suggest that this feeling is called social because it is aimed at a specific group of people or a specific person as a representative of this community. The objects of hostility can be various socially relevant signs - gender, race, nationality, sexual orientation, age. In to denote this kind of hatred, there is the concept of "intolerance." There is a narrower understanding of the subject. Sometimes social hatred is called class hostility. At the same time, religious and racial hatred are excluded.
Social hatred is based on differences between groups, and they are given an irresistible and inevitably leading to conflict value. A different appearance, lifestyle and become an occasion for serious confrontation. Interestingly, the degree of these differences does not play a special role. Hatred, anger between related, culturally similar groups (states, religious denominations, peoples) are more fierce than between communities alien to each other.
Hate crime
In some countries of the world there is a special qualification called hate crime. This concept refers to violations committed under the influence of aversion to certain groups of the population. Typically, such a classification increases the severity of the offense. In Russia, religious, national, racial intolerance is also an aggravating factor.
In many states, deliberate acts are also considered a crime aimed at creating hatred between groups of people, that such manifestation of hostile feelings should be prosecuted. For example, in Russia, propaganda of aggression against social groups is a criminally punishable act.
Conclusion
In this article, we tried to talk about what hatred is. What does a feeling bring to a person? On the one hand, in reasonable doses, this emotion mobilizes and calls for active action, on the other hand, it destroys its subject from the inside, forcing him to make meaningless and destructive actions. But we live in a world that is based on the struggle of opposites, in it every phenomenon has its own special meaning. So hatred goes hand in hand with love, based on forcing a person to publicly express accumulated doubts. An intelligent individual must learn to overcome this negative feeling, subordinate it to his will and understand the reasons for his appearance.
One of the strongest and most destructive human feelings is hatred. It has many faces, can be expressed in various ways.
But, no matter what kind of hatred is possessed by a person, it will certainly corrode him from within, not give rest to others, poison their lives.
Of course, there are reasons for this negative feeling, but it is not always possible to find them yourself. If there is no strength or desire to deal with it, you may need the help of a specialist. Otherwise, mental disorders, mania can occur, and serious negative consequences, even crimes, occur.
This feeling is expressed quite brightly, it is impossible not to notice it. There is a desire hate the subject as much as possible bad, up to destruction.
There is joy from his sufferings, failures, misfortunes.
May be targeted at certain individuals. Expression " from love to hate one step"Arose not by chance. Indeed, if a person to whom a strong love was experienced, for some reason did not live up to expectations, betrayed, hatred may arise. It does not allow a person to engage in arranging his personal life, all the time and effort is directed only at making a bad offender, ruining his life.
This feeling can occur not only in adults. Child hatred also takes place. Psychologists often have to deal with " cain's feeling". A child who loved his parents very much suddenly begins to hate them after the appearance of a brother or sister who is given more attention.
There are such types of pathologies as misogamy - aversion to marriage, misandry - a woman’s hatred of men, misogeny - hatred of men for women. Such forms do not give a person the opportunity to start a family. The reasons for the emergence of these types of hatred some. In some cases, they take roots from childhood, when one of the parents with his behavior aroused childhood hatred. Sometimes this is a consequence of the misbehavior of a single mother, who from early childhood has been trying to inspire her daughter with hostility towards men, marriage.
Hatreds such as misosanthropria - dislike of a sick person to healthy people, misopedia - hatred of children, even their own, mizazonia - hatred of animals, misanthropy - hatred of people.
Whatever the form of hatred, one should know that the more educated a person is, the less chance there is of such a feeling. In addition, you can not obey him, give free rein. And know that combating hatred is not only possible, but also necessary.
SENSE OF HATE
AURA COLORS
- RED is anger.- Bright - red color - wildness, extreme degree of jealousy.
- Scarlet color - irritability.
Ancient Chinese medicine associated liver disease with anger, increased irritability. Modern medicine claims that it is in this organ that anger, irritation, anger, hatred, and primitive feelings are localized.
- Red - brown color - sensuality and greed.
Negative emotions experienced by another person create attachments for the chakras.
Muladhara (basic chakra) - fear, aggression.
Svadhistana (sex chakra) - lust, obsession.
Manipura (umbilical chakra) - submission or vice versa the desire for power.
Anahata (heart chakra) - love and hate.
Vishudha (throat chakra) - the desire for self-realization.
Ajna (frontal chakra) - attachments to what a person considers truth, principles and attitudes.
Sahasrara (crown chakra) - bindings to egregors.
"There is no fire greater than passion; there is no disaster greater than hatred; there is no misfortune greater than the body; there is no happiness equal to tranquility in desires."
Neglect, contempt, bias, mockery, ridicule, causticity, irony are all manifestations of hatred. Hatred flares up again and again. She is insatiable like lust and greed. She can temporarily retreat, but then returns with a vengeance. If the father does not like anyone, his children also begin to hate this man, without any reason, because he did not harm them. That is the power of hatred. Sometimes one memory of an old offender who insulted a man forty years ago causes a flash of hatred in the latter.Hatred is reinforced by repeated manifestations of hatred. Hatred cannot be defeated by hatred, it is destroyed only by love. This ailment requires a long and persistent treatment, as it takes deep roots in the subconscious. He lurks in the most unexpected corners of the soul.
An Englishman hates an Irishman, and an Irishman an Englishman. A Catholic cannot tolerate a Protestant, and a Protestant a Catholic. This is a feud between nations and religions. Sometimes a person at first glance, for no reason, begins to hate another. This hatred can come from previous incarnations. In our world, ordinary people do not know what pure love is. Selfishness, envy, greed and lust are the companions of hatred. In the Kali Yuga period, hatred intensifies.
It is necessary to cultivate pure, selfless love. In all living beings there is a single Self. Why be angry with others? How can one be treated with contempt? Why separate and look for differences? Realize the unity of life and consciousness! Everywhere feel the Spirit of Unity (Atman). Rejoice, radiate peace and love.
In my first battle of strength, I met my enemies in the fog.
“But you have no enemies.”
You don't hate people.
- And it was in me.
My hatred of people was a way for me to indulge my weaknesses.
Now this is not.
I defeated hate in myself, but in that first battle of power, it almost destroyed me ...
Strength is a very strange, magical thing.
To fully possess and command it, you must first acquire a certain amount of strength, sufficient to begin with.
However, it can be done in another way: to gradually build up strength, not using it in any way until it is typed enough to withstand strength in the battle.
C. Castaneda. Travel to Ixtlan.
Hatred is an extreme manifestation of rejection.
Let's decompose the word "hate" into components - not - on - see. It turns out that, hating, we mentally get rid of the person: "I can’t see you anymore." That is, you are no longer there. How often do we say: "My eyes wouldn’t see you" or "I don’t want to see you." That is, not wanting to see a person is also hatred.
There is another manifestation of hatred - indifference and indifference. This is the same hatred, only repressed. If you have a feeling of indifference towards someone, it means that once you hated this person, but you didn’t forgive, you didn’t thank him and you didn’t realize how you brought him into your life. And now this hatred in the form of indifference sits deep in the subconscious and poisons your life.
Hatred at the energy level is not just a wish for death, but a murder. The first message from John the Theologian says: "Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer ..." And such a program of destruction necessarily unfolds against the author himself and turns into a program of self-destruction.
Hatred leads to very serious illnesses. First of all, she “hits” the head and eyes. Epilepsy, Parkinson's disease, paralysis, head injuries and trauma in general, migraines, eye diseases, tumors, severe skin diseases can be the result of hatred. In fact, people destroy each other on a subconscious level, and then wonder why there is so much violence in the world.
If a person has several gallstones, then he feels hatred for several people. The more a person has to keep a smile, hiding anger in his soul, the more he has to pretend, the more often he gets kidney stones.
The nature of the problem or illness depends on the strength and direction of the hatred. For example, if a man hates a woman, then his "manhood" suffers. Everything is very simple. Indeed, in every person there is a masculine and feminine principle of the Universe. And by directing his hatred towards a woman, a man destroys himself. A man suffers for several years from prostatitis. Sexual weakness already appears. No medications and procedures help. And the reason for the disease lies in his hatred and contempt for his wife, in his desire to avenge her for her betrayal. If a woman despises and hates a man, she receives a “blow” to her genitals. The wife takes offense for a long time and hates her husband for his immoral behavior, for insults. After some time, a uterine tumor is found in her. Children who hate parents suffer themselves from an unsettled personal life and receive the same attitude of their children to themselves. Daughter condemns and hates an alcoholic father. And the father is for the girl the embodiment of the masculine principle of the universe. In her subconscious, a program of extermination of men has been operating since childhood. She grows up and gets married. The first marriage - unsuccessful - divorce. A girl is born from the first marriage (boys will simply be unviable). The second marriage is also unsuccessful. And from a second husband, a girl is also born. A woman tries to build a family with another man, and even lives with him for a while. But then the relationship is broken. And her daughters grow up and get married already to such men who drink, insult and beat them. The program of hatred of men, laid down by the mother, acting in the subconscious of the descendants, returns back with retaliatory aggression.
If a person hates a group of people, society, country, then not only himself, but his children will suffer. Hatred is a powerful program to destroy the one against whom it is directed. In children, this program is enhanced many times over. A man who hates scoundrels, villains, got a son-addict. A woman who hates people got a killer son.
Hatred, as a way of behavior, also has a positive intention. If you hate the government for its actions, then you want to destroy this government with your hatred, so that in its place comes another that meets your requirements. After all, you want to live in a fair, high-moral state in which you would be respected. If you hate a neighbor for his meanness, then you want to destroy him so that justice reigns. If someone wants to take your money, then you begin to hate this person. You want to save your money. If someone "takes away" your beloved / beloved, then you hate this person, you are ready to destroy him. If you hate a loved one, it means that he has humiliated, insulted or offended you so much that you are ready to kill him. And you kill him. Only mentally.
Hatred as a derivative of
This desire to put their feelings, their morality, justice and decency above all else. But the higher you ascend, the harder it will fall. And in general, on what basis do you think that your model of the world, your worldview is true? Your worldview is just one point of view on the Reality of several billion. And each point of view deserves respect. And even more so, how can you make the world a better and cleaner place through hate killings? This is absurd! There is nothing bad or dirty in this world. God created a clean and beautiful world. It is necessary to accept the idea that this world is very harmonious and fair. And indeed it is. After all, everyone is rewarded according to his thoughts and actions, according to his faith. Everyone creates his own world. This idea is difficult for some people to accept. It is very difficult for them to abandon their old beliefs and principles.
Doctor, are you suggesting that I say "black" that it is "white"? - the patient is indignant, an elderly man suffering from a serious illness.
“How can I approve of the actions of a thief who stole the last money from a pensioner, or the actions of our government, which robbed millions of people?”
“I do not force you to approve the actions of thieves, crooks and murderers,” the doctor replies. “I propose to accept the idea that the Universe is very harmonious and fair, and begin to see it in my life.
If a thief stole money from a pensioner, it means that she herself, attracted him to her life, with her thoughts. Maybe she felt sorry for her neighbor, a poor pensioner. Or perhaps she despised or hated the rich. It was with these thoughts and feelings that the thief was attracted.
So who to blame? There is nobody. Just everyone got their own thoughts. A higher power, the Universe, taught a pensioner through a thief the correct attitude to money.
You can disapprove of the actions of a thief, but you should not blame him. Wish each of them good luck in their life's journey: to a pensioner - to handle money correctly, and to a thief - to take care of their material well-being in other, positive ways.
- But what about the murder, and even innocent children?
- A child attracts a killer into his life because even before the incarnation, his soul decided in this way to work out some part of karma, this may also be a lesson for people who will be associated with this murder.
- Doctor! With all due respect to you, everything that you say does not fit in my head. And to be more frank, all this is nonsense. You give me a medicine that will cure me - and that’s it. And I do not want to change something. In the face of death, I will not change my principles.
“Well, then I can hardly help you.” But in any case, I wish you good luck.
How deeply and deeply certain dogmas and principles have been introduced into us that bring pain and suffering to our lives. And we unconditionally accepted them on faith, not even trying to doubt their justice.
If you want to be healthy and have healthy offspring, free yourself from hatred. To do this, take responsibility for your world! Start with yourself. Change your thoughts and your behavior - and the world around you will change. New thoughts will create new situations. Learn to take! Accept yourself, other people, your life and destiny. Respect yourself and others! By showing respect for others, you respect yourself first and foremost. Learn to approve and praise! Try to notice in people only the good, the positive, the useful. Remember that in every person there are any qualities. And if your thoughts are pure, then people will show you their best sides.
If you want to change the world and people, you can use violence. There is such a way. This is a very good way. Good to make your life and the lives of your children miserable. And if you take the responsibility to use this particular method, then remember the consequences that will be. According to one of the laws of the Universe - like attracts like - your hatred will attract reciprocal violence into your life.
The outside world is my world, and I myself create it, then, changing my worldview, I change my world, and therefore the world around me.
If you want to change others, change yourself. Then there will be no complaints to anyone - after all, everything depends on you.
Hatred…. Happy is a man who has never experienced this terrible, destructive feeling, did not writhe in emotional convulsions, while smiling benevolently at an object of hatred who did not experience the pain of understanding his own powerlessness without any hope of somehow calming his anger. Not wanting to take the bread from psychologists, the women's magazine JustLady, nevertheless, will try to figure out the problem and, perhaps, give some practical advice to readers on how to get rid of adversity, namely, how to stop hating.
Hate is a slow suicide.
(Friedrich Schiller)
Hatred is a strong feeling of hostility towards another person, oneself, dissatisfaction with life or circumstances. People are able to hate both their own body and the whole world around them. The most powerful and destructive feeling is self-loathing.
Sometimes hatred arises at one moment as a result of some actions or statements of another person, sometimes anger and irritation accumulate over the years, eventually turning into a burning, irresistible feeling, which is almost impossible to cope with.
Hatred is a destructive feeling. It gives people a lot of energy, which in this case cannot be directed at anything positive. Hatred longs for ruins and scorched earth, alien grief.
Hatred primarily harms the one who hates. Hater is exposed to its destructive effects. Many diseases, both physical and mental, are caused by this terrible feeling.
Judge for yourself, a huge negative energy literally bursts you from the inside at the sight of an object of your anger or even mention of it. In this case, most often you can not show your emotions in all their heat, you have to restrain yourself. Where does the energy go? That's right, she gets inside, destroying everything in her path.
Feeling that it’s impossible to live like that anymore, people begin to think about how to stop hating. Hatred will not go away on its own, it must be firmly grasped. It takes a long time to work on the cure for hatred, every day, every hour. If you are a believer, the appeal to God and confession will help.
Often people think that stop hating they can only if the hated person dies. But this rarely brings relief. Upon learning that the person whose hatred they cultivated and cherished dear years has died, they relax and realize that they even feel sorry for him. Resentment seems small and insignificant. And then a person has a chance, having spent half his life in hatred, to spend the other half, tormented by guilt.
Meanwhile, having spent a lot of time nurturing plans for revenge, or simply constantly thinking about the object of hate, with the loss of this very object, the hater simply loses meaning in life. No matter how scary it sounds, but it really happens.
Therefore, if you experience such feelings, you need to do your best to get rid of it, stop hating.
Without claiming to be the laurels of a specialist psychologist, I still want to give some advice, rather even indicate the direction in which you should try to move. At one time, this method also helped me.
How to stop hating. Step one: find the reason
Hatred cannot arise from scratch, although sometimes the question of why we hate a person, we can answer that we are annoyed by his very presence on earth, we hate him just for what he is.
In fact, there is a reason for hatred, and it is extremely concrete. Another thing is that it can be completely insignificant, and over time we can even forget about it. And the anger will remain. Often it is the understanding of the insignificance of reason that helps a person to stop hating.
Maybe the person you hate said or did something that pissed you off and led to complete rejection. Or maybe you hate the boss who harasses you every day. Or is it a relative of your husband or friend (you cannot refuse to meet with) who behaves completely unacceptably for you? Find out the reason, and it will be easier for you to take the next step.
How to stop hating. Step two: put yourself in his place
Another person, no matter how surprising it may sound, may not even suspect your hatred. He can do something without knowing how it affects you. Moreover, others do not suspect your attitude towards him. Still, where should they suspect something was wrong, if you are exaggeratedly kind and attentive to the object of your hatred. It is the hated person that causes us increased attention and the desire to be pleasant. After all, our goal is to hide our feelings, to prevent emotions from breaking through.
As a result, we get what we get. And all you need to talk to this person, ask him to change his behavior, to think about the statements. How many internal conflicts have been resolved in this way!
But it also happens that, putting yourself in his place, you understand that he does nasty things, in your understanding, only out of a desire to annoy you. He is well aware of your feelings and angers you to be able to enjoy the manifestation of your emotions or to watch your attempts to suppress them in yourself with pleasure.
Why is he doing this? Yes, simply because he likes it. Apparently there are some reasons, most often complexes, that prevent him from establishing normal contacts with people, drawing attention to his person in some other way.
Maybe you hate the person who did the wrong thing. Think about why a person has done this or is doing it. Did he do something terrible? And what would you do in his place? What do you think, could you do the same in a similar situation? Maybe you will understand that an unsightly act is simply a manifestation of a person’s weakness.
So I will bring you to the next step.
How to stop hating. Step Three: Try to Forgive
As we saw, nasty actions and words are most often caused by the fact that a person is weak and follows his own weakness. No matter how insidious he looks, this is most often just weakness.
It is this thought that should help you forgive him and calm down. It is easy to say: “Forgive!”, But how to do it if you hate with all your heart? If, at the very thought of this person, the stomach contracts, it is impossible to eat or sleep, and yet thoughts constantly revolve around the object of hatred.
There is one simple exercise that can help you. The main idea is that every person has a soul. She is innocent and beautiful as a child. So imagine this person in the form of a small child. This may be difficult, but you should not feel any contradiction at this stage. After all, the object of your anger once really was a baby, he had loving mom and dad, he was naive and touching.
Imagine that this child continues to live inside this person. He is scared and unhappy, he closes his eyes every time the “master" tells you nasty things or provokes you. Have pity on the baby, let him understand in a voice, intonations that you know about him, pity him, are ready to support.
This does not mean that when an unpleasant person appears, you should approach him, knock on his chest and say something like: "Hey, baby, I know that you are there." No, just talk to the person the way you would talk to a child. Do not be fooled by provocations, have pity on his small pure soul, instead of hating.
To many, this exercise may seem stupid and useless. This is until you try. I used this technique on my own time. The hatred of the man was so strong that I even began to treat his relatives badly, because they put up with him and even manage to love.
The object of my hatred hurt me, said nasty things, did dirty tricks. And he didn’t even enjoy his victories, he didn’t care, he simply believed that he had the right to do so, well, simply because he did not like me.
Only having understood the situation, highlighting specific reasons, finding out what exactly supports my hatred and trying to understand why he behaves this way, I saw what his reasons (albeit unfair, but understandable), understood why he does just that (just because other methods are not available to him, since he is the easiest to do). I was able to forgive him his own imperfection, stupid complexes, I could even regret it.
The process was slow, it was rather difficult, but I tried to learn to perceive a person as a certain object of the experiment, to distract from my hostility at least for a while. Then she was able to see the baby in him and talk only with him.
As a result, the last few years we have a peaceful relationship. The man has stopped intriguing and talking nasty things and even treats me with some warmth. I didn’t love him with all my heart, it’s simply impossible, but I perceive him normally, without anger and hostility and do not grit my teeth when he comes to my house.
I do not claim that this method is a panacea, but in not too neglected cases, with your great desire, of course, it can work. I really hope that he will help someone stop hating, and the world will become one who hates less.
If you can’t cope with yourself, and your hatred is so great that you can’t tame it for a while in order to at least analyze the situation impartially, it’s better to turn to a specialist.
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