Not sure what to do with your life? Ask yourself these questions. How to decide what to do with your life

Which is better, to have a hard plan of action, or to be able when you do not know what to do with your life? You will say, combine the advantages of both approaches. But this is impossible, because they are antipodes, opposites of each other.

Just everything has its time. It’s great to have a plan, and when everything works out the way you want. However, it is almost better to be in a state of the so-called crisis - a transitional state, if this does not happen so often. Look around: for sure the most interesting thing in life happened to you unpredictably and completely unexpectedly? In other words, in the moments of a personality crisis?

Beautiful far

It's time for a transitional state, an internal crisis. However, we think about something completely different, counting on any. We draw only rainbow paintings in our imagination, and, probably, we do it right. To intensify the forces that will give us this positive without fail, on a plate with a blue border.

We want to bring something new to our life, but we forget that. We attach so much importance to losses, normal “production costs” that we despair and put an end to the whole enterprise.

We want the beautiful far from being cruel to us, but at the same time we refuse to pay the “state duty”. Customs in particular. What does it consist of? If you want change, you need to be prepared to go through a crisis.

Soar higher

Beached, we find ourselves in utter confusion. What is going on? The goldfish promised us something wrong. We took a step, and now it is not clear what happens.

We really do not understand and will not understand until we climb higher to look at our situation from the outside. Perhaps when it will already become part of the story.Then we will gain the ability to evaluate it objectively. See what she is in fact  was for us: vain torment of a caterpillar or an opportunity to become a butterfly?

Sink to the bottom

We postpone this stage for the time being. Indeed, before positive changes happen, a test awaits us. It will seem that everything is in vain and it is not clear why what is happening is happening. Inevitably, despair will seize us and an understanding will come that we simply do not know what to do with our life.

If you recognize yourself in this description, know: do not resist what is happening. Even if nothing happens. This is the best thing you can do - let go. Watch. Follow the course of events. Wait for the right moment.

Freeze

Only we are again ahead of the curve. Nothing will happen. Because first you need to freeze. Take it, and for real. If you are an adult, an adult human being, then you can not report to anyone and act in such a wise way.

Stop. Freeze. Stay at rest (in the sense of inaction and even idleness). Put something on what others say ... Actually, you are now moving forward with leaps and bounds.

You consciously allow yourself to live in a "time of transitional state." Thus save the mass that others spend on resistance and senseless attempts to do something ahead of time  - if only there was the appearance of effective activity, if only not to waste a single second of your precious time. Great intention. However

wise time management is not that you do not have a single free minute, but that those of them that you devote to any business are fulfilled and.

It’s better to sit, saturated with strength and verifying the accuracy of the direction of the blow, like a bow string being pulled, than to shoot indiscriminately - just to shoot.

What was it really

All the extraordinary people that I know, as well as the biographies of people who inspire their achievements, are similar in the following: an interesting adventure in their life or a fateful turn on the path every time comes after the state “I don’t know what to do with my life”.

That is - from a state of personality crisis. And the more serious he was, the more wild their life situation looked in the eyes of those around them, the more interesting and surprising the events unfolded afterwards.

Why is this happening? The above phrase reflects state openness. We don’t know something - very well, that means we are ready to be filled with something new.

Sometimes, to do a miracle means to act outside the box, to rise above the understanding of others and allow yourself to find the answer to the tormenting question. Or let life present it, giving yourself the necessary time.

As one song says, “everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.”

For magic to enter into life, one must be prepared to go through a crisis. It is like a springboard, like a launching pad - to the fact that, if you take everything correctly, it may not be worth your efforts. Moreover, it will turn out to be unknown to you and, undoubtedly, pleasant - because if you emerged from the swamp of a personality crisis here, then this is the best thing that has happened to you before.

And all over again

How often do we want to be left alone. Not so often, but it happens, we realize that others dream about it - and. But to do this with ourselves is for some reason the most difficult thing. Like it or not, we bear the greatest responsibility for ourselves. We are it. Your life is your own. We want to control ourselves and our lives, we want everything to be good.

And for this, sometimes you need to forget that you are in the control chair. If you feel that someone has taken control out of your hands, instead of being scared, despairing or fighting, let him go.

You can plunge into a state of joyful anticipation of what follows. Something will certainly happen. Keep going dont knowwhat to do with your life, and then soon, very soon - you will certainly find out. (To speed up the process, you can read the material 😉).

The Law of Detachment speeds up the process of evolution. When you comprehend this law, the need to force decisions disappears. Forcing the solution of problems, you only create new problems. Howeverwhen you turn your attention to uncertainty and remain a witness to uncertainty, expecting with anticipation how the solution to the problem will come out of chaos and confusion, then this solution that has arisen from chaos will truly delight and amaze.

The crisis of life is, so to speak, the “dish of the day."

A. Avosika (Ayodeji Awosika)

With an extraordinary upsurge in personality development and the arrival of a new generation of people who want more meaning from life, topics such as passion (the main business of life) and the goal are a red thread in our thinking. The question is burning from the inside - you want to know what to do with your life .

You have tons of options - maybe even too much .

You want to make a decision, but do not want to make not that , because if you make a mistake, you will feel that you spent a lot of extra time in vain. It’s paradoxical, but continuing to think about what to do with your life, but at the same time do nothing really, is also a waste of time.

This riddle puts us, as they say, “between a rock and a hard place”.No wonder we are under such stress all the time.

First of all, thank you for having a choice.

When you try to figure out what to do with your life, you have to accept the fact that people do not always have a choice of circumstances.

If you grew up on a farm in the 18th century, you could become only farmer.   If your father was a blacksmith, you first became his pupil, and then - also a blacksmith.

Even if you were transported to a period closer to us, you did not have as many choices as you are now. Several generations ago, if you were a man, you were destined to work in some industrial enterprise, and if you were a woman, then you stay at home.

Having entered the era of corporate party, you got one job, plowed there for 40 years, earned a gold watch and a pension.

Now everything has changed dramatically. People change jobs like gloves.

Nabal Ravikant ( founder Angellist , the US website for startups, investor angels and job seekers who want to work in startups ) is best expressed about this:

“The Internet has greatly expanded the space for a possible career. But most people have not yet understood this. ”

Before you plunge headlong and begin to decide what to do with your life, take a break and realize with delight what opportunities are in front of you.

There is nothing much to fear in our time, although there is still fear. Why?

It seems I can explain.

  Stop torturing yourself

What is your purpose in life? What is your passion?

These questions shock your immunity throughout your body when you think about them for too long. It is good that people strive for a greater meaning in their lives, but we put too much pressure in search of the only right means that will make our life a real fairy tale.

Moreover, it seems that the very “search” of one’s passion or goal is already progress. But no. The more time you spend thinking and weighing, rather than doing, the more further you from your passion.

People tend to think of it as “stop thinking about the future at all,” but actually it means: just stop thinking about it too  a lot of.

It is a "double-edged sword" of self-help. It is useful to think about such things as passion and purpose in order to ask yourself the necessary “acceleration” towards them. But constant thinking soon turns into "brain masturbation." You are more obsessed with your fantasies than with concrete deeds, because ... doing is much more difficult.

It is easy to think of new ways in your life. It is difficult to enter this path with one foot, then the other, and then repeat it is not known how long. In the meantime, you can’t even decide what to do with your life before you act. First make a competent estimate. Action crystallizes vision.

Formula for understanding what to do with your life.

Following your innate intellectual curiosity is a better foundation for a career than following what money is now making.

Do not get carried away thinking about the process. The initial steps to understanding what to do in life are simple.Follow your curiosity and find out what you are capable of.

You can read about the detailed step-by-step process of understanding your strengths

Question to the psychologist

* I am 28 years old, I work as a cashier, I live with my parents (mother, brothers and sister). I want to understand myself, what I'm doing wrong.
  There is nothing good in my life, I am alone, I have not yet met my future husband, I have not met anyone, I have a monotonous life (work and home). I know that I need to walk, meet, but when I have work until 8 pm, you come home, have dinner, and then fall asleep.
  I don’t really have any friends who could introduce me to someone. I have always been closed, I have fears in communication, I can’t overcome one.
  I turned to a psychologist (young, inexperienced), there is no money for a good specialist. Somehow she helped me, I even felt a taste of life, became more cheerful, and then again returned to its previous state.
  Yes, I am alone, I wanted to do psychology myself, it is difficult for me to give it alone. I’m afraid to be alone, I so want to have a family, a child, love, to be cheerful, cheerful, it’s easier to relate to everything, not to be afraid of communication, to stop being angry with others, not to envy, to love myself, I want to value myself, respect. I'm tired of being alone.
  And self-pity, I know, this is a bad quality - to pity yourself and complain about your life. So everything was tired, there were suicide attempts earlier, now I don’t think about it, since my thoughts are busy with paying off my money debt faster, I have to wait until the summer.
  And you know, I convince myself that if my duty ends, then I will change, but it’s not true, if since childhood I’ve been so taciturn, touchy, inanimate.
Somehow I searched the Internet for online psychologists for correspondence by email, there are none. They are paid, it turns out, there are no free ones. I’m trying to do something myself, I’m downloading books on psychology, I downloaded one book (how to become my own psychotherapist), there are exercises, but I can’t start doing them. Thoughts come "They still will not help me, why should I do this." How to get rid of such thoughts?
  What to do with your life? How to make yourself change? What is needed for this? So many questions, but I can’t find the answers.

Hello Svetlana.

Start with what you accept as the fact that there IS a good life! You just don’t see it yet.

Want to see? (answer! YES!)

Why do you need it? Why do you need good? Why do you need love and a young man? Why do you need happiness and family? Why do you need joy and friends? WHAT FOR?

Answer realistically, not with general phrases, but specifically.

If you said "I don’t know ..." - you ran away ... You ran away from yourself real into yourself a fictional, illusory.

In short - honestly answer the questions above. You do not need to get rid of them - you have to answer! Here is your responsibility to yourself. Also, as you pay money debt responsibly, start to pay debt to yourself responsibly.

After all, having been born, you have already assumed this responsibility, then what right do you have now to evade it? And the fact that you are worthy of all this is also given from birth.

If you want to love yourself - love, there is a reason, provide yourself with this evidence. And do not dream that someone will do it for you. Everyone has a responsibility to themselves, first of all.

But you will see that when you really begin to give yourself respect, love, joy (even if it’s small, it doesn’t matter), people and the world will turn to face you and rush towards you. Take a look at my articles, there is information for you :)

Success to you, Svetlana, in acquiring - returning YOURSELF!

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Hello Svetlana!

Hello Svetlana! I agree with my colleagues that until you start to change something, nothing will change. Think about how you stop talking to yourself, for example, with colleagues. Do you have them? Plan ahead what you will do on your weekend (remember what you wanted, but didn't do). Start taking care of yourself. Do not expect that someone for no reason will start to do this for you. You can wait a long time ... Nobody will change YOUR LIFE for you. Start by setting small goals and achieving them. Then the changes will begin! I am ready to cooperate with you in full-time work when you decide on this. I wish you success! Tatyana.

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Hello Svetlana! Here is a free consultation for you: 1) Decide right now - what role are you in? Yes, that’s right - in a “child’s”, non-constructive, not taking responsibility for what happens to itself in their lives. Living as: "They owe me!" And, unfortunately, without value to themselves and their loved ones! And imagine for a moment that what you have in your life has been taken from you ......., and there are no more relatives and friends, no work, health, etc ...? How do you feel after that? Realize your feelings! 2) It is important for you not to avoid your feelings: fear, anger, etc., but rather to meet with them - to find the reasons why these feelings appeared and live ..., in other words - to make friends .., or to react, etc. .. 3) Any work, especially quality work, costs money (the equivalent of the energy expended), and the work of psychologists is no exception. Only you pay for yourself, and not just give it to someone! And, if you feel sorry for spending money on yourself, then this is the result! Get money with pleasure and spend money with pleasure, for this we earn, do not spare your beloved (it’s only reasonable that there are no extremes), then instead of disappointment, you will become happy and live an attractive, interesting life! 4) A meeting with a psychologist is not only psychological assistance to you, but above all - building new, high-quality relationships, where the MEETING of two people is an important component! And even if you don’t have a man yet, but if you improve your relations in a dialogue with a psychologist, then you can easily switch to relations with people around you - including and with men! 5) You can of course independently study both psychology and more, as well as make love alone, you can communicate by email - at a distance ... - But is this really what you sincerely want? 6) Accept yourself as you are, at least for one day (self-esteemless attitude!) And live with it - afraid, angry, dissatisfied with life, etc. ... And just become your own observer !!! Give it a try! And another time - do this in relation to your family ... And again - observe them and yourself. 7) Begin to treat yourself as if to the most beloved and dear person! Begin to make yourself (at least occasionally) gifts, pleasant, welcome, without regret ... And start looking at those things that used to be bypassed, in your thoughts telling yourself that if these things are good for me, then I will get them with feeling of joy and complete satisfaction! I let this happen in my life in the present! And then, literally before bedtime or after sleep - such thoughts for 1-2 minutes. no more and let go ..., the main thing is that at the end there should be the words: "For good!" That's all for today! "The road is overpowered by the one who walks!" Sincerely, Lyudmila K.

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Hello Svetlana!

I think you are just too lazy to help yourself. Not because lazy, but because something makes you like that. After all, you really want to change, this is felt from your letter. I would recommend that you think about what kind of laziness it is, where it came from, and why it does not allow you to get everything that you so passionately desire. Something in your current state is so important that it makes you stop yourself trying to change. Try to understand that. Then it will become more clear what to do next. Regards, Elena.

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If you recently graduated from college and now go to work that you hate, or your employment is temporary, this material is for you.
  You do not have to strain and save the world. Or launch the new Amazon.com. Or find out how to get your own cooking show on TV. Or tomorrow turn into Oprah Winfrey.
  No. All that is required of you is to begin. Here 9 tips to help you find your own path if you don’t know what to do .

  1. Offer your services to people in need

  You have certain skills that can be useful to other people. Find a way to help someone and do something. Not so important that. Could you believe that you have a chance to help people - including adults - learn to read? Or, that the skill demanded in all corners of the world is teaching English?

To send emails you need some knowledge. And people have a huge need to learn basic programs, such as Excel and Word. And people also need support in the implementation of such basic tasks as writing letters, sending emails, posting updates on social media, etc.

You have the skills to help others. Giving away what you have - time - you can better understand what activities make you happy and inspiring.

  2. Blog about it

  Are you interested in a specific topic, career or a new business? One effective way to get to know new areas of activity and areas of knowledge is to blog about them.

Blogging is a great tool for sharing, educating, learning new things and exploring your own passion. It’s not so difficult to start a blog, and having done this you will get a simple Internet outlet for stories, communication and activities dedicated to hobby.

If you enjoy cooking, invent your own recipes and share them with your friends and family on your blog. If you are interested in moving up the career ladder, write about what matters in your industry.

  3. Read books on a shelf

  Books are often underestimated, but they can be called terrific trainers, teachers, mentors, and advisers.

In their books, different people left invaluable recommendations, wisdom, and a guide to action. Works filled with important practical tips were created by the most inspiring and successful personalities.

You won’t be able to meet at lunch with Eckhat Tolle, Seth Godin, Donald Trump or the SharkTank women and get advice from them, but you are quite capable of buying or borrowing their books in the library to share their knowledge, recommendations and strategies.

These people of their own free will and are happy to give you 2 hours of their time for less than $ 15!
  Not ready to go and buy another book? Take the works that are already on your shelf and read them. Take some notes in the process and apply them in your own life.

  4. Find what energizes

  Everywhere - at home or at work - there are things that you do simply because you like it. They delight you, excite, entertain. What do you enjoy?

No, in the office you cannot swim with a mask, but are you able to incorporate your favorite things into everyday work?
  Or can you constantly remember which responsibilities bring real joy? You may hate sales meetings, but enjoy conducting workshops. You have the right to despise reporting, while adoring the creation of expert reports.

Think about what you like and dislike about your job. Find those tasks that delight you, and dive into them more actively.

  5. Get out of the house. And leave your hometown

  Go and do what you want. It does not have to have anything to do with your career or goals. Go and take a look at something new. Attend a lecture, go to a museum, go to a bookstore. Do what suits you and - ideally - does not require payment. It will inspire you.

If you have never left your hometown, buy a ticket somewhere. No, you should not act like Chris Gilbo (and visit 193 countries), but why not consider a trip to your grandfather and grandmother?

Go to a city where you've never been before, or go to a country that you’ve wanted to get into your whole life.
  In the new environment, you can easily meet a soul mate, find a dream job or understand the purpose of life.
  In extreme cases, you will see something unusual and expand your horizons.

  6. Speak not only with a cat

  Your pet can be a great conversationalist and a great companion for watching Bachelors. We do not doubt it! But he has no chance to contribute to your personal growth.

If you are interested in a new field or industry, try to discuss it with someone. Take advantage of their knowledge, point of view and advice. If you ask the right questions, people will be happy to tell you how they got their way or along the path of life.

Instead of embarking on a new career or launching another blog called “Explode the Brain”, discuss with someone the profitability of your idea.

  7. Go to a meeting with like-minded people

  If you have a certain area of \u200b\u200binterest, a desire to turn onto a new road or need for another job, then start communicating with people who are engaged in what you are striving for.

The easiest way to meet with representatives of your industry is by attending relevant events. People belonging to any industry or field have groups created for communication and discussion of professional issues.

There are writers. Bloggers hold meetings. Freelancers communicate with each other (even if they do it online). Restaurateurs meet. Hey, even morgue owners and insurance professionals have their own congresses! Call a friend and go to one of these events to meet new people and learn something about the industry.

8. Work for a penny

  Yes, sometimes you need to have at least some work experience to study the industry and get a new position.
  There is no better way to get them than to work for free. Volunteering and internships at any age will help to scout the situation in a new area.

And you won’t really work for a penny. In exchange for your services, you will gain experience that adds value to your CV, industry connections and - if you play cards correctly - good recommendations.

  9. Go to courses and workshops

  Before spending a 6-digit amount for a master's degree, which you might never need, or becoming a dentist, think about your interests.

If you are passionate about a new field or subject, start with courses where classes take place on weekends, or master classes. They are much cheaper, require less time and have a low load. Use them to check if this is really interesting to you?

If you are confused and confused, use one of the methods described above and check your interest in the new.

Start with the little things and take a few steps every day, trying different things to understand how much they carry you away.
  A little effort and experimentation will be a push and help you find your goal.

Deciding what to do with your life is far from easy. Most people never make that decision at all. But since we all finally do something, then without making a decision consciously, we still accept it, but at an unconscious level.

If you do not decide how you live, then someone or something will decide it for you. Most likely, your life will be determined by a combination of unintended influences, such as a genetic predisposition, upbringing, social environment, inner circle, other people in your life, and maybe just a coincidence.

This might be a good option for pets, but not for humans. We can do better.

Allowing your fate to obey external influences, historically speaking, you will get a completely miserable result compared to what you could achieve by simply making a conscious decision about what you are going to do with your life and why. You may be lucky if you entrust the fate of yourself to cope with the details, but most likely it will all end with the fact that you will serve other forces whose plans you will not agree with.

As you become more conscious, at some point you will face the question: “What the hell am I supposed to do with my life?”

Obviously, there are many answers. The answer will concern not only your own life, but also the lives of all the people you will influence throughout your life. You can choose to be invisible for yourself, or you can decide that you will play an outstanding role in the future of the planet. Conscious choice gives you this opportunity. And if you miss this opportunity, give it to others, then in any case, do not free yourself from a drop of responsibility.

When your consciousness reaches a certain level, it will become clear that it is better to answer this question consciously than to allow someone else to answer it for you.

However, when you begin to deal with this issue, you may find it so frightening that you will soon succumb to the temptation to return to unconscious life. Please, do not do that. Although the answer to this question is one of the main challenges for the human being, you are able to solve this problem - and it's worth it.

Strive to understand reality as accurately as possible.

A key component of understanding how to live is understanding how the universe you are in is built. You need to know the rules of the game before developing a basic strategy. So, the search for the goal begins with the search for truth.

Ideally, once you understand how the surrounding universe works (sufficiently intellectual, emotional, and intuitive for you), you can begin to figure out exactly what role you will play inside this universe.

If you do not have a sufficiently accurate model of reality, you cannot make a reasonable decision on how to live. That is, in any case, you can make a decision, but most likely it will be bad. Imagine that you play checkers and decide which game strategy to choose. But what will happen if at one fine moment it suddenly turns out that you are not playing checkers at all, but chess? Your strategy will simply not work. The same goes for life. If your reality model is too rough, then all your decisions will contain many glitches, and most likely you will often experience crash. More practical, this means that you will slowly and with difficulty move towards your goals. Weak results will become your norm.

I already wrote about how I perceive reality, and I will write about it in a few more years. Experimenting with different belief systems over the past 15 years, I have seen radical changes in my results. Last year was the best of all the previous ones, and I attribute this to the fact that the model of reality that I developed coincides with the way reality seems to work in reality. My model, of course, is imperfect, but accurate enough, and I achieve my goals more and more simply. I work with the rules of the game instead of resisting and fighting them.

As I mentioned in a previous article, the three main qualities necessary for personal growth are self-confidence, consciousness (that is, a report in one's own actions) and fearlessness. Together, these three components make up my understanding of intelligence.

There are many ways to understand reality; my method is mostly similar to that used in Jnana Yoga. This means that I seek to understand reality through the mind. I am trying to use my intelligence. In essence, this boils down to conducting many personal experiments and observing the results. But there are other equally effective ways of knowing reality. If you, like my wife, feel better with your heart than with your mind, then your intuition can serve you as the best guide.

If you encounter difficulties in determining the meaning of life, the problem may be upstream. Dive deeper into your understanding of reality. Question your beliefs, especially those that you have been taught never to doubt. What if you are mistaken? My current beliefs. concerning reality, have little in common with those that brought me up in childhood. Through interaction with the outside world, I realized that my initial beliefs were inaccurate. And this led to a more than ten-year search for truth, which continues to this day, though it has become much easier during this time.

When you understand reality quite accurately, your goal will literally pop out in front of you. Ultimately, when you understand reality, you will understand yourself. Your role in the world will become clear.

For example, based on my idea of \u200b\u200breality, it is clear to me what I should do with my life. I am here to grow myself and help others grow.

Does your goal make sense in the near future?

Are you happy now, at the moment? I do not mean simple calm or tranquility. The flower in the pot is calm. I mean ... do you like life? Does the thought of vacation excite you more than the thought of your real job? Do you love your existence? Are you glad that you are here on Earth at this particular time?

I was on vacation about 10 days ago, and to be honest, at the end of it I was just as happy to return to work as at the beginning - to go on a trip. My work is so pleasant for me that I feel great joy at sitting here at my table, turning thoughts into words that will be seen by thousands of people around the world before this day ends. Does it feel like suffering?

If you are the type of person who says to everyone around: “No, that you, passion is not mine,” then you have sacrificed too much. If you live with a goal, strong internal arousal will be your normal mode of operation. Do not be afraid - this passion will not suddenly turn you into an emotional idiot rushing around like a smoking teenager. Passion is the fuel of emotions. She will make you live a full life. Without it, you will often stop and again and again miss the opportunities that appear because of a lack of desire. Intelligence in itself can advance you only to the present state. There is a difference between the decision to achieve the goal and the actual achievement of it. The intellect can handle the first, but passion is needed for the second. Wouldn't it be great to achieve some goals instead of just setting them all over again? On paper, the goals look great, but would you rather not have something real? Passion will help you get there, and sometimes with such speed that those around you will feel dizzy.

To get the best result, you must learn to tame the energy of passion. If you were a robot, you would not need passion. Recognize with intelligence that you always experience emotions, whether you want it or not; but the Vulcan lifestyle is not optimal for a human being. As emotional sagacity develops, you will learn to use the powerful energy of passion without harming the mind. You want to be passionate and smart, not passionate and promiscuous. Passion plus intelligence is a powerful combination.

If your decision regarding what to do with your life does not use the daily energy of passion, then you have made the wrong decision. Go back and try again.

When you experience passion, it means that at least for the moment your decision on how to live is meaningful. It is consistent with reality. Your body will begin to burn the fuel of passion, as it believes that you are moving in the right direction. It is worth the effort to light this wick and keep it burning, rather than storing energy, turning yourself into a sofa potato. But if your decision looks too stupid, your body will slow down its implementation. It will not waste energy, it will say "no, not worth it."

If you find that passion has disappeared from a part of your life, try to see that its absence gives you a sign. Listen to the "No, not worth it" message you get. Perhaps this is a futile job, impasse, meaningless exercises. Whatever it is, if your body does not switch to a higher gear, eating fuel of passion, you have made the wrong choice. It's time to make another decision.

Passion multiplies strength. With passion you are much stronger than without it. It is truly amazing what one enthusiastic and passionate person with a clear goal can achieve. If we subtract about 100 of the most passionate people from history (out of billions of people), we would probably still live in caves. And I would knock out my article on the rock on how best to organize a collection of stones.

Does your goal make sense in the distant future?

Many decisions may seem quite reasonable at the moment, but when you imagine what they will lead to in 10.20 or 50 years, their weakness will be obvious. Choosing the purpose of life, it is necessary that it not only nourishes you with passion at the moment - it should look even more attractive after a long time.

For example, look at your work. Where will she lead you in the long run? Think about what you can achieve in it during the time allotted to you until the end of your life. Imagine that today is the last day of your life, and look back at your career. What are your feelings?

If at the time you made the right decision, now you should feel that in general it was the best possible choice that you could make without looking back at the present. You will see some mistakes you made along the way, but also understand that taking into account the knowledge you had at that time, they were almost inevitable. When you will remember your life, your main thought will be “I did everything I could. Perhaps I did not live an ideal life, but I tried as best as I could. And therefore, I have no big regrets. If my life should end now, then so be it. ”

On the other hand, if this scenario greatly scares you, then you have some work to do. This means that your current direction is incorrect. It will not pass the test of time, and at some point you will have to face reality face to face. It’s better to do it now than to wait, as the longer you put it off, the more disastrous the results will be.

Yesterday I watched the documentary The Smartest Guys in the Room, which shows Enron's story. Enron was the seventh largest corporation in the United States, employing tens of thousands of people. Instead of focusing on value creation, its leaders set their own enrichment as the primary goal. The company was losing money year after year, but continued to report substantial gains. Its shares rose higher in value, not being secured by material values. Obviously, this was a house of cards, which was destined to eventually collapse, and in just 24 days the company slipped into bankruptcy. The trial of Enron President Ken Lay is just beginning.

Does your life resemble Enron's story? What do you see when projecting your present state for years, even decades, forward? Are you building a house of cards that one day will collapse? Are you hiding from the truth?

It is very difficult to meet with reality today, if the consequences may appear only years later. But in the end, you will at some point have to accept life as it is. In fact, she is with you right now. When you clog your mind with a load of false statements, you reduce your understanding of the situation and refuse to report in your own actions. By refusing to meet what you fear, you begin to live a lie, just like Enron. And instead of living honestly, your energy is spent on preserving and perpetuating this lie.

Perhaps your sins are not as great as those of the leaders of Enron. It does not matter. If you don’t feel that you can be honest with the whole world right now, at least start being honest with yourself. You do not have to survive the crash if you can learn to increase, not lower, your consciousness. This is the mildest way from deception to truth.

If your relationship is dead, at least admit it to yourself, if you can not admit to anyone else. Write this in your personal diary and honestly listen to your feelings. If your career does not go, and what you earn is enough only to pay bills, admit it to yourself, and also admit that you want something better. It's normal to be weak and helpless. It’s not normal to lie to yourself. When you are weak, you do not lower your consciousness; when you lie to yourself - reduce.

Your decision on how you should live should be meaningful from ALL time perspectives, including now, yesterday, today, tomorrow, next year, 10 years later, and even on the day you die. It should also be meaningful from the point of view of various scenarios, including: you die tomorrow, you die in a year, you die in 50 years, you live forever, you become disabled, you get married, you remain single, you have children, You remain childless, your government collapses and a revolution ensues, all your property perishes in a fire, etc.

Although the details of the implementation may depend on the specifics of your particular situation, your decision about the goal and way of life, made at a high level, should not be based on things that are beyond your control. It must be flexible enough so that you can adapt it to changing circumstances, even if the changes are global or brutal.

My choice to live in order to grow and help others grow, looks great from all time perspectives and possible scenarios. So that I cannot stick to it, either we all need to achieve perfection, or my consciousness must stop or be damaged in some way that does not allow me to grow further. And under these circumstances, any other decision will also be bad. So I sincerely believe that this is the best that I can do.

Only in 2004 did I really begin to consciously make such a decision. And when I look back at the time elapsed since the adoption of this decision, I have no big regrets. In the process, I made many mistakes, but I still feel that I was doing everything that was within my power.

This feeling also reassures me at the thought that I might unexpectedly die at any moment. I don’t know when my term on earth will end, but it doesn’t bother me, because my decision on how to live is not tied to time. It works for me now, while at the same time it helps me plan my actions 50 years in advance, if I live so long.

I often ask myself: “How would I evaluate my life if it ended the next minute?” If I don’t like my answer, then I know that the time has come to change something. But lately, answering this question, I feel good. I just hope that if this happens at this moment, then my wife will finish the article for me and publish it, since I spent a lot of time on it and I do not want my work to be wasted.

Does your goal make sense at various levels of consciousness?

As I explored different belief systems, inconsistency in the long run was a serious problem for me. Each time I changed my beliefs, certain aspects of my life broke down, as they were tied to the old belief system. It paralyzed me to some degree. To complete certain projects, I had to choose between following my own growth (experiencing a significant upsurge in my actions and results) and following the immutability of my beliefs (pausing my growth). In general, I chose to follow the growth and just cope with the rise, believing that in the end I will stabilize at a higher level. It seems that this approach worked perfectly, although adapting to such significant changes was certainly not easy.

Suppose you work for a software company. When you first arrived there, you are focused on finding a good job, performing interesting tasks and starting a career with strong long-term potential. Or maybe you just love to code. In the beginning, you can be happy, even think that you have reached the limit of your possibilities. But as you grow older, your values \u200b\u200bwill begin to change, you will begin to look for more meaning in your life, and this can lead you to raise the standards of the work that you would like to do. The same old projects no longer seem as interesting as they once were, and you are looking for more difficult and interesting tasks. Moving along this path, you can take a more critical look at your overall contribution, both to the business of the company and to the outside world. Suppose you know that the main motivation of your company is to make a profit, and that the programs that it produces are not really needed. Perhaps it derives income from market inefficiencies and customer ignorance, rather than from providing unique or original values. Then you have to make a difficult decision. Do you stay in the company and try to justify your decision (thus reducing your consciousness), leave (keeping your consciousness at a high level), or try to transform the company from the inside (using your consciousness to increase the consciousness of others)?

This is not an easy decision, but the main thing in determining the meaning of life in the long term is to avoid getting stuck on the same level of consciousness. If you pursue the goal of developing and expanding your consciousness, you will experience a certain revolution in your life. But this does not mean that your goal is poorly chosen, it just means that you need to go through the process of getting rid of what is incompatible with your goal. And if you are like most people, then this will be a deliverance from much. The process will probably take years. But at the end of it you will become much stronger and happier. The tunnel is heavy, but it does not last forever, and it leads to a wonderful place, having seen that once, you will never want to leave.

The truth is that in the process of increasing our consciousness, we go through many tunnels. These tunnels used to be called "twilight of the soul." They appear when your consciousness rises to a level that takes you out of sync with your current life situation, but you do not see any real alternatives. Alternatives will eventually emerge if you concentrate on increasing your consciousness, allowing the desync to exist for some more time.

A well-formed life goal is to survive your transitions through these tunnels. Each of them should strengthen your goal and make it more clear, and not make you abandon it. If you feel that your goal will not survive the growth of your consciousness, then most likely you are right.

A life goal tied to a particular level of consciousness is not a goal at all. It will only keep you at that level. For example, if your goal is making money, then what will happen to it when your consciousness reaches a level at which money will have a completely different meaning for you? Most likely, it will become meaningless. Try to imagine how you could continue to grow, and choose a goal that is flexible enough to grow with you. For example, if your goal is abundance for yourself and others, then it is much more likely to overcome the growth of your consciousness than a goal based simply on making money.

What I really love about my goal is her ability to adapt well to changes in my basic beliefs, including spiritual ones. It’s hard for me to imagine a belief system in which it would be impossible to grow myself or help others grow. If I experience anything, I can grow from this experience, and if I can communicate with other people, I can pass on to them part of my growth.

What will happen to your goal after your death?

Ideally, your goal should be deep enough to survive even your death. Let's look at what happens to you after death and what happens to the rest of the world after you leave it.

To begin with, we will deal with you. There are scenarios in which your decisions made today will not play a role in the future, and other scenarios in which they will play a role. The former do not interest us, because if after death you fall into oblivion or some other still state of consciousness, then any decisions you make here and now will not have any meaning after your own death. So, if only you are not 100% sure of the first scenario, then you should at least think about the second scenario when deciding how to live. When you imagine what your existence may look like after your physical body dies, will your goal still make sense? Can you continue your goal even after death?

If this subject interests you, then you may like the article “Life after death”, in which possible scenarios are examined in more detail.

Since my goal is to grow and help others to grow, having some form of consciousness and conscious beings around me, I can still continue my goal in some way. My site “Personal development for smart people” will be called “Personal development for dead people.” And instead of turning bears into eagles, I will work on turning demons into angels. It seems like a funny job to me. So if now, when you read these lines, I'm already dead, then once you get there, look for me and I will continue to torment you forever :)

Now let's think about what will happen after your death with the rest of the world. Can your goal continue to live after you die? Have you sown enough so that the grains can grow and develop even after your departure? The reason why many psychologists and motivational lecturers establish their own corporations is that in this way they can create some kind of institution that continues to exist even after their death. Thus, their goal becomes almost immortal. I remember how Tony Robbins said that the creation of such an institution is very important for him - in my opinion, he said this on one of the bonus discs that came with his program Personal Power 2. Actually, this is the idea of \u200b\u200bleaving an inheritance.

I would like to leave enough inheritance behind me so that even after my death my work could continue. I love writing partly because the articles I wrote can survive me. Of course, this is vanity, but its healthy variety.

Every year I want to leave behind more and more heritage. It makes sense to my very existence. The longer I live, the more legacy I can leave behind. I have only been following this path for 16 months, but I already like what I see. I have already created small fluctuations, and it will be interesting to see where they lead. I also helped my wife take this path, so if she lives longer than me, then there is already a person who will extend my work for a while. But ideally, I would also like to establish an institute so that the work that I do will acquire life on its own. And I'm certainly not the only one doing this, but from what I can see, I am one of the youngest.

What legacy would you like to leave? If you die today, how will your contribution be remembered, what have you contributed to the world? Will they be remembered at all, or will you just be replaced as a burnt out bulb and will soon be forgotten? Do you create fluctuations today that can continue after your departure?

Your own death is what your decision on how to live should first turn to. You cannot decide how you want to live without deciding how you would like to die. I'm not talking about whether you will die of cancer or you will be gutted by an assassin with an ax. I mean that you need to live so that death does not steal the meaning of your life from you. Your goal should be so strong that even death will not be able to stop it.

Do not give up!

I know that discovering the meaning of your life is not easy. It may take years to find him. But none of those who found him will tell you that the efforts were wasted in vain. This is a long journey, sometimes through difficult and dangerous terrain - but the rewards you have on your journey are second to none.

If you still do not know what your goal is, then your goal right now is to find it.

At some point, you will encounter one of the biggest obstacles, and you will want to step back, surrender and scramble back into life with low consciousness. You will catch yourself thinking that perhaps you should just simulate your life in the image of fictional television characters, or you simply strive to be “normal” and live like everyone else. But such a life is not for you, and you know that. If you read up to this place without leaving the article in half, then your consciousness is already too high for you to be happy, living as sleeping masses. It is time to wake up. From the bright light, your eyes may hurt at first, tears may even flow from them, but you will get used to it. And then you will see your own powerful beacon of consciousness. And I have to tell you that it’s a lot of fun to light such a light in the eyes of people when they least expect it ... it's just buzz, you know. And of course, it helps people a lot to raise their consciousness :)