I do not know how to relax! What to do? Women do not know how to relax.

Paradox: in Soviet times, people worked less hard, but rested for a long time and with high quality. A ticket to the sanatorium was then designed for 24 calendar days, doctors believed that it was simply impossible to recover in less time, because a good half of it goes to acclimatization, and only the remaining days are actually spent on rest and treatment.

Now everything is different with us: we work much more, and spend 10-12 days on vacation, and this is in the best case. Basically, the limit of dreams for our compatriots is a trip to Turkey and Egypt, the duration of which is only 6-7 days. And this is not counting the fact that one third of Ukrainians this summer did not go to rest at all.

But even if you managed to break out to the sea or the mountains, this does not mean that you really will rest. Why? Yes, because many of us simply do not know how to do this. The usual state for us is working, and indulging in idleness and idleness, we experience at least discomfort, and at the very least - remorse: after all, while you were lying on a beach or sofa in a log, you would have time to redo so much!

Workaholism

Inability to relax is one of the signs of such a scourge of our time as. People suffering from this ailment categorically do not know how to relax, although they never voluntarily admit it. On the contrary, they will talk a lot about how tired they are and how long they need to rest. Moreover, perhaps they will even make hotel reservations and take train or plane tickets, it is likely that they will even leave for their place of rest, but they will not really have a minute to rest.

Forced idleness will oppress them, bringing it - here it all depends on purely human qualities and temperament - someone to depression, and someone to outbursts of unmotivated rage. They put a pile of business papers in a suitcase together (and often instead) with T-shirts and shorts to “read at your leisure”, and all their free time hang on the phone, conducting business negotiations or controlling employees. If for some reason neither one nor the other is impossible, they will begin to read, knit, embroider and even cut with a jigsaw, because according to their deep conviction to do nothing is shameful.

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What causes the inability to rest

Psychologists knowingly call workaholism a neurosis of obsessive states - it is fraught with the most serious consequences. If you fail to catch on in time, then the result may be complete moral and physical exhaustion. A person grows thin and dark, for him there is no daily routine, he almost does not sleep, he has no appetite and other physiological needs. He does not notice what time of year is on the street, he is only interested in the sense of dressing in the weather. However, for someone who goes to work by car, and it does not matter.

Gradually, work from pleasure and the means of obtaining a livelihood turns into an obsession, it harms a person and leads him to. And here you need to urgently take something, otherwise the workaholic will cross the line beyond which the reverse process will no longer be possible.

How to deal with workaholism

Urban residents suffer from workaholism much more often than rural ones. Psychologists attribute this to greater emotionality and less restraint of the latter. The manifestation of emotions is considered indecent among the townspeople, therefore they drive it deeper, which contributes to the appearance of various kinds of neuroses, including the neurosis of obsessive states. In a village where people in conflict situations arrange violent showdowns of relations with the active involvement of neighbors and running around each other around the house, there are almost no workaholics. Therefore, the first and main advice: do not be shy to show your feelings and emotions, whether it be grief, joy, delight or irritation. If you do not want to do this in public, splash out your emotions alone with yourself, but in no case do not keep them in yourself.

To combat the neurosis of obsessive states, yoga and meditation are also well suited, they help to get rid of problems and focus on your inner world. If none of these methods helps, then everything has gone too far and you need to seek help from a specialist. It happens that a workaholic himself does not understand the whole danger of his condition, then the decision on treatment should be made by relatives for him.

For help in disclosing the topic, thank the psychologist Dinu Vasilchenko(www.psymir.kiev.ua).

Alexandra Voloshina

Have you ever caught yourself thinking that you feel awkward and ashamed if you allow yourself rare moments of doing nothing? Why can't you go on vacation without a shudder, thinking about who you are leaving the cherished front of work for? Sitting in front of the TV, didn’t return to the sweet world of quotes, reports and unfinished articles? But if thoughts are a hard-to-fix category, let’s try harder. Constantly tense back, gritting of teeth in a dream, a weekend with an uncountable number of cocktails, if only to "get drunk and forget" as soon as possible - is that about you? If so, congratulations. With the entry into the club who do not know how to relax.

Who says we can't rest? After our relaxation, Turkish hotels are closed for reconstruction and doubled the norms for the purchase of alcohol. After the holidays, we need two more weeks - to gain strength after a lethal rest. Here it is: the kind of leisure for which the Russians have gained a bad reputation in foreign resorts, says that the inability to relax is almost a national trait. So why do not we know how, it would seem, a simple thing?

"Children of the working-class family ..."

Surely in childhood, your mother told you that the floors should be washed only while standing in a bent pose and always with hands. Because, leaning on his knees, or, God forbid, only sluts and lazy people wash with a mop. Did she speak? The textbooks of literature complacently continued the given line: “Labor feeds, laziness spoils”, “Without labor, you can’t even take a fish out of a pond”, “I’m doing time, a fun hour”. Children's poets of the era in which we were lucky to grow up taught in rhyme: "For a whole hour Lisa was sitting // Nose with her nose buried on TV // And the next day in my diary // The Swan grew on the line."

And under the influence of powerful pressure, we grew up with the idea that only household appliances and pensioners have the right to rest. The rest is supposed to do homework, cut it out with a jigsaw, and collect waste paper - just about anything, just to not lie on a sofa with legs in a wave.

The second reason for labor zeal for wear is workaholism. In medicine, this term has long been considered a diagnosis, and it is difficult to argue with doctors. those who go to work with their heads become - at first glance, nothing bad. In addition, that a person is fenced off from the rest of the world. Ideally, our life includes many aspects - work, friends, family, hobbies. And if one of the industries doesn’t get along, the bitterness of defeat can be diluted with success in other areas: “The boss yelled? Yes, and the buffoon with him, but the daughter corrected the top three in chemistry, and the dog Bagel took the medal at the exhibition. "

But the workaholic does not have these salvation “on the contrary. He has only plans, meetings, planning meetings and other "poetry of gray everyday life." And the collapse in the labor field is tantamount to a collapse of life - but this is an extreme case. More often we get a “lite version” - an unfortunate person with a syndrome of overwork or burnout, who can only get apathy and irritability from feelings and emotions, tormented by the lack of new ideas, insomnia at night, and drowsiness during the day. And waiting for a long, long rest. As a rule, compulsory, for medical reasons.

“To be successful, you have to work hard”, - another stereotype that prevents once again lying on a sofa with a book. Around so many temptations that cost a lot of money, all those tsatskis like iPhones and cool cars are the power of this world - "so I have to plow and go out of my way to get closer to luxury!" In fact, the financial success of most compatriots began not in a mine with a hammer in their hands, and they earn on iPhones not overtime in three shifts. And success is not always equated with money. Being caught on the slogan “You deserve it”, “Only the best for you”, you play by the rules of greedy marketers and PR managers. And drive yourself into labor bondage. The most annoying - the long-awaited expensive tube brings exactly one minute of joy at the time of purchase. And hopeless hard work for her makes you a neurotic.

"There is no money to rest" - Another trap of fellow citizens. For some reason, it is believed that it is necessary to rest strictly according to the schedule - once a year in the summer and strictly in Turkish, Croatian and. And if there is no money for it, therefore, life has failed, and instead of vacation we will continue to work. In order to earn the same for "seven days, six nights, ol inclusive."

“I can’t leave work, they will ruin everything without me, fail the project and lose the court!” - the cry of the next poor cohort. Because of a hypertrophied sense of responsibility, they only dream of peace. And they are not familiar with it: if some super-task can be done alone, there will certainly be a substitute, do not overestimate your uniqueness. And yet: from a long digging, only the pit becomes deeper, and the resources of the human body are very limited.

"Doctor, what is this?"

“Nobody has died from work yet!” The class teacher shook her finger threateningly and hung a social load on the slender shoulders of children. Now you have every right to find it and forcibly familiarize yourself with these lines. Of course, the diagnosis of "being driven to death by the boss" does not exist. But there is an extremely unpleasant thing - chronic fatigue syndrome, a direct result of vigorous activity without a break for sleep and relaxation. Recognizing the syndrome is not so easy, tests and cardiograms can mask it for cardiovascular diseases and problems with. However, beware if you have to bitterly state the question of well-being: apathy, irritability, mood swings, insomnia or drowsiness, causeless fear and increased anxiety, weakness, muscle pain. Is life sweet when a history is presented with such a “generous” list? Rest, my friend, urgently rest!

"Quickly take off my fatigue ..."

Rest is, in fact, the cleaning that we carry out in the body. If you don’t shine for weeks and wait for a general emergency once a month, it’s easy to make ends in this field. So it is with rest: if you accumulate fatigue, leave can be spent in a hospital bed. Therefore, you need to start with important details, such as daily and nightly relaxation.

There is time - there is ... As well as walking and laughing

Alternate 50 minutes of hard work with 10 minutes of relaxation. Which is desirable to spend on a mini-walk, gymnastics, tea drinking. By the way, if you have access to the Internet, visiting entertainment sites is not forbidden: scientists have proved that in people laughing, blood circulation increases by 22 percent. This means that more oxygen and nutrients reach the organs and tissues.

High Security Comedy

Clean up so clean up! So that the metabolic products do not linger in the body and in the full sense do not poison the existence, observe the drinking regime - at least one and a half liters of pure water. You will have to refuse coffee or seriously limit it - its considerable merit is that at times you are not able to relax. Following coffee, alcohol is also subjected to sequestration, which does not relax, but only worsens the picture. And there are no antidepressants and sleeping pills: most of these drugs do not calm the excited nerves, but "cut down" tightly.

Breathe, meditate, dance

How do you relax after work? Become to the stove, joining the "second shift at the open-hearth", or fall on the sofa and click the remote control buttons. Here it is, the root of evil! What you need now is not the Let They Talk program, but the program to free your mind from thoughts.

We offer three options to choose from. Firstly, it would be nice to dance. Stop, no clubs or parties! Just turn on your favorite melody and write out the rings that God will put on his soul.

Great way is to take aroma oil bath, there are only two rules - to force yourself to lie in the fragrant bliss for at least half an hour and not think about urgent matters.

But the most effective method is meditation. Sit in Turkish with your legs bent under you. Put your hands freely on your knees, palms up. It’s better to close your eyes. Calm your breath, try to free yourself from extraneous thoughts. calm and shallow, you can concentrate on the score. With each exhalation, utter to yourself or quietly aloud some soothing word, for example: "calm", "silence" or the Indian word "om."

"Good night, gentlemen ..."

Insomnia is the destiny of lovers and insane, and all other citizens are supposed to sleep, without a healthy sleep there is nothing to think about a good rest. The rules of self-lodging are well-known and simple, so just recall the basic ones: a light dinner no later than two hours before bedtime, a comfortable bed, a cool, well-ventilated bedroom. An hour before departure to the arms of Morpheus - a cup of herbal tea with mint, reading, in a word, everything that helps to calm down. You remember the taboo on both cigarettes and alcohol, don't you?

“And here I am lying on the beach”

We will not return to the mistakes of compatriots on a vacation trip, it is in your power to spend a vacation according to your own scenario. The main condition: do only what you want. There is no desire to fly to the sea - and alright, there is nothing to do in the midst of this high cost and swim in the dirty waves. The desire to sit in a summer house in a cirque and get out to people exclusively for salt and matches - for health. If nevertheless pulled on the sea sand, again listen to the desires. No excursions from under the stick and on a schedule, the hunt to lie on a deck chair and read detective stories - your will.

No matter how you manage your leisure time, remember: you need an energetic, balanced employee, your husband and children need a calm, cheerful wife and mother. And to work well, you need to have a good rest.

A modern lifestyle requires maximum energy, continuous monitoring and attention. Therefore, business people often suffer from chronic fatigue. Some issues must be resolved immediately, so we are fully committed to work, family affairs. In such a hectic day passes all day. The next day is also full of events, issues that need to be urgently addressed. Business people have time for everything, but there is no time left for rest. This is chronic fatigue - a syndrome that needs to be addressed. After all, the charge of strength and vitality received after a good rest will positively affect your health and performance.

Basic rules of rest

RELAX BEFORE FATIGUE COMES

It’s hard to believe, but rest also requires strength. You should not come tired or exhausted from work so that there is no energy left even for a simple walk. So you do not give yourself a normal rest, the body is constantly in stress. Therefore, for a walk, reading or fitness, you must leave strength. You can not give all the energy to work, you need to know how to relax.

It is better to immediately get rid of a little fatigue, because it will pass quickly, and again it will be possible to do work. Excessive fatigue can affect health, and it will take a long time to cope with the consequences.

Compliance with the regime of work and rest, that is, rest before fatigue occurs, and not after. So you can achieve the most productive work, gain strength without feeling tired throughout the day.

RELAX IS A CHANGE OF ACTIVITY

This expression is familiar to many. It has a rational core, so always think about the changes if you start to get tired.

It is believed that the load on our body is distributed in three parts - the Body, Mind and Soul. Depending on the type of activity, this or that part of the body works. It is necessary to gradually load yourself, to share the load on the mind, soul and body, to alternate it throughout the day. Then you will not feel tired, and the working day will be a real rest.

It is important to combine intellectual labor with physical labor. Always dilute your activity with exercise, walking, exercises. So the brain will rest, prepare for a new working phase. Even the change of one intellectual activity to another can give the brain the necessary rest. Different cells are responsible for performing different types of activities, so this alternation also eliminates fatigue and allows not only rest, but also contributes to increase working capacity and mental activity.

HEALTHY SLEEP

It’s best to get enough sleep after a hard day. Sleep normalizes the functioning of the human nervous system, all organs rest and recover. You need to fall asleep naturally, only a healthy sleep positively affects our body. After the required number of hours spent in bed, you will feel a real surge of strength and energy. Then all work will be done quickly and easily.

The main problem of healthy sleep is a disturbed regime of the day. If you would rather watch a movie at night instead of moving to sleep at the appointed time, then this can negatively affect your health. Perhaps a few years ago you were well tolerated night walks and discos, sleepless nights. And such a lifestyle did not affect well-being or appearance. But after several years, you can see that a night lifestyle does not affect the performance and health in the best way. It is necessary to protect your body, give it the necessary number of hours of sleep. The ability to relax at night is the key to vigor.

It takes 7 to 8 hours of sleep to feel good. This figure is different for everyone, some can normally get enough sleep in 5-6 hours. Sometimes the problem is not the time allotted for sleep, but its quality. Perhaps we give ourselves enough hours, but we constantly wake up at night, tossing and turning for a long time in bed. There are some tips for falling asleep normally.

The quality of sleep depends on the nervous system, if it is excited, it will take more time to fall asleep.
A walk in the fresh air a few hours before bedtime will help relieve stress. Also calms the shower.
You need to sleep in a comfortable bed on clean linen.
To help -\u003e " How to fall asleep quickly», « How to deal with insomnia» .

An important point that affects the quality of rest is awakening. You also need to wake up correctly in order to feel good during the day. Getting out of bed is not worth it. Prepare the body for work and disperse blood will help sipping. You need to do this before a shiver (pay attention to the friends of our smaller ones, cats and dogs, how they wake up).

Often we get tired at the height of a hard day. Moreover, few are trying to cope with fatigue, usually people just wait for the end of work to relax at home. But you need to rest during working hours, in order to spend your energy more efficiently. Psychologists believe that restoring the body at work is an important part of the working day.

Many will say that they often take a break, go to smoke or drink coffee. But this is not exactly what our body needs. After all, we do not control the time of these breaks, they arise by chance. But rest should be rhythmic, the right mode of work and rest, our body perceives better. You need to make a special schedule, determine break time, rest only at certain intervals.

Lunch break is a regulated rest time, which is in almost every organization. It is necessary to usefully spend this hour, not to rush back to the workplace. Even if you ate quickly, it is best to take a walk or read a book. You have every right to rest.

An interesting observation was made by the psychotherapist Alexei Parshin. He talks about his trip to Italy.

“The first visit to this country surprised me with the features of the Italians. I was in the laboratory of the University of Verona, doing my own thing, but suddenly I saw that my foreign colleagues were leaving somewhere. At first I thought a fire started. In fact, they went to drink coffee, because the break at 11 o’clock is an unshakable time. Like lunch at noon. Italians give up their business to give the body a little rest. Moreover, these breaks favorably affect not only their health, but also on the standard of living. After all, people care about themselves, and therefore more happiness in their life».

During working hours, you need to establish a rational mode of work and rest and follow it. We all know that it’s good for your health to rest after 50 minutes working at the computer. Moreover, the break time should be at least 10 minutes, or even all 15. Unfortunately, few people observe this rule. Adults, in principle, can calmly sit at the monitor for two hours, but after that, have a rest for 10 minutes.

You can quickly relax by simply wiping your face with cool water. This will help to relax for a while. You can also breathe correctly for 8-10 minutes. Deep breaths will allow oxygen to enter the blood, so it will penetrate the brain and contribute to its activation. Breathing can be combined with exercise. It is very important to regularly air the cabinet.

One of the problems that torments us at work is drowsiness. We often want to sleep, but we try overcome this desire. In fact, the body will have enough and half an hour of sleep after dinner. You can sleep peacefully in the car if there is time after a lunch break. This will positively affect your performance. Some organizations have a quiet and peaceful place where no one will disturb. This can be a great place for daytime sleep. It is important that no one can disturb you during your vacation.

INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY DURING TAKE-OFF INTERRUPTIONS

We do not immediately enter the work, its effectiveness is a curve that first goes up and then drops sharply. Work should interest us, we should feel motivated to do it. When we fully immerse ourselves in the process, efficiency will grow rapidly, but then decline. During this period, actions occur more by inertia than by interest, the efficiency of the work process is significantly reduced, and fatigue appears. A similar phenomenon can be explained using the physiological characteristics of the body. The cells of our body go through two phases - excitation and inhibition. In the phase of excitement, they receive the necessary nutrition, so first the work will be effective, and we will not get tired. It is important here to feel this moment, to switch to another activity — physical or mental work of a different orientation. After some time, you can return to the original task. You will see that execution efficiency is improved. Moreover, this technique does not work, if you switched at the time of the braking phase, when you are tired of activity, you are tired. Then it will take longer to rest, because of fatigue, you will not soon be able to return to this task. Therefore, efficiency will suffer.

How to relax after work

Business people get tired not only from physical activity, but from mental work, emotional and spiritual work. Work in the office practically does not lead to physical fatigue. But for some reason, we rest as if we were tired physically. This is called the illusion of physical fatigue. You need to fight it with the help of physical activity. If after work you lie down to rest on the sofa, then there will be little benefit from such a pastime. It is better to go cycling, run a few kilometers, swim in the pool. These exercises will show the body that physical fatigue was imaginary, that we are full of energy. After the load, the blood will accelerate, stagnation will disappear, and you will feel a surge of strength and a second wind.

A good rest after work is a sauna or a bath. After fragrant steam and delicious tea, you will definitely feel more energetic. Also, a massage session influences the body well. If you choose a good master, then a relaxing massage will quickly restore your strength after a hard day.

At home, you can drink delicious tea, which has a relaxing effect. Usually this is an infusion of herbs with the addition of mint and chamomile. Such tea can be bought at a regular store or in a pharmacy. A cup of fragrant infusion will help you relax.

Another option on how to relax after work is a book. Reading has a calming effect on the nervous system. Therefore, doctors recommend spending a half hour with the book before bedtime. But you can read in the evening, this will help you relax.

Saturday and Sunday are not the days when you need to fully load yourself with household chores. It is better to leave cleaning and other things on a weekday evening, to do it gradually. If you give it all day, the essence of the weekend will be lost. One of the days must be left completely free, completely devoted to his rest.

Proper rest on the weekend affects working capacity on weekdays, the effectiveness of activities. It is better to spend time with friends and family, in nature or in the country. Even physical labor in a summer cottage can be considered part of the holiday, especially if it brings you pleasure. After such a weekend, you will be happy to return to work. Weekend deals you should like. Better to choose an active holiday than useless lying on the couch by the TV. Such a meaningless pastime only enhances apathy and lethargy.

A good option to relax is a cultural weekend break. Exhibitions, films or performances can distract you from working thoughts. They will give you a great mood, chatting with friends and new impressions. Moreover, the cultural program is always diverse, in all cities on weekends exhibitions, performances and concerts are held. Take a look at the poster, you will see a lot of interesting events. And they are all diverse. You can go to a film with your favorite actor, to an exhibition of antiques, to a concert of a talented group, to a circus performance. There are plenty of options on how to relax on the weekend, you will definitely not get bored.

But cultural events should be liked by you, only in this way they can become a complete rest. If you go somewhere for the company, and you do not like the upcoming event, then it is better to refuse. Otherwise, you will be bored all evening. Then the weekend will definitely not bring the desired rest. Many people have friends who constantly impose their opinions, choose events, only on the basis of their preferences. It is better to refuse their company right away. A boring evening will cause fatigue.

Vacation is the time that we look forward to all year. Our further well-being and performance depends on it. It turns out that you need to know how to relax during the holidays. It's important to know, how to plan and organize your free time.

If you do not tolerate separation from work well, you are afraid not to join the regime later, then you should not take all the days of vacation at once, but you need to divide it into several parts. Moreover, these parts are distributed throughout the year. So you will feel free and rested. Even if you have your own business, which requires constant monitoring, a vacation, divided into parts, will not affect the conduct of business, but will give you strength and energy.

Some decide on vacation to do large household chores, for example, make repairs. Naturally, it will be faster and more convenient, no need to interrupt work, you can do everything in a short time. But this approach negatively affects health. After all, vacation was created to relax and pay attention to yourself. At this time you need ride travel, go to exhibitions, visit the cities of which you have always dreamed, and not wallpaper.

If the financial situation does not allow visiting foreign countries, then the right rest can be arranged in the country. And it is not necessary that this is your summer residence. Fresh air, healthy eating, calm and peace is what you have been dreaming of all year. A good book will help brighten up the days at the cottage. After such a vacation, you will immediately gain strength and energy.

Although vacation is a long-awaited time, it happens that it bothers. Moreover, such a problem, psychologists report, appears in many people. This is really unpleasant when you start counting the days before going to work. This condition can be caused by many factors. Bad weather, mosquitoes, terrible hotel, tasteless food and so on. Some of these reasons cannot be overcome, others can be predicted and reinsured.

You need to know in advance how many days you need to have a good rest and relax.
There are enough reviews of tourists about resorts and foreign hotels. In order not to get into an unpleasant situation, you need to carefully study all available information. There are lists of travel agencies on the Internet that you better not contact, there are airline comparisons. All this needs to be known in advance.
All your actions at the resort should be planned. Make a list of interesting places that you will definitely need to visit.
If the resort offers pampering or wellness treatments, such as mineral baths or healing mud, then you should not refuse them.
Satellites also need to choose, not all friends are flexible. If you do not want to listen to complaints the whole vacation, then you need to think about the company.

Laptop and work papers should stay at home. If you have an unresolved problem, then you cannot load yourself on vacation with it. It is unlikely that you will come up with a solution. There should be maximum benefit from the vacation, otherwise there will be no sense in it. And to hammer in with work the time for which the money was spent will be simply a pity.

The option on how to relax during the holidays depends on the nature of your work. If you sit in the office all day, it is better to choose an active holiday activity. Constant physical activity during working hours requires a relaxing holiday. This can be reading books, watching movies, visiting exhibitions. But spending all the time in four walls is also not worth it, you need to walk in the fresh air.

Always after a few days off, you need to sleep a lot to get enough sleep all the time. And to sleep not only at night, but also after dinner. You can just relax, but you need to relax. These days spend more time on a walk. So the body will adapt to the conditions of vacation.

Proper rest does not mean constant idleness, you can engage in vigorous activity, while relaxing. Work on a summer cottage, cycling or hiking, hiking - all this helps us to have a good rest.

PREPARATION FOR ACTIVE REST

Outdoor activities during the holidays require special training. Usually, people already checked in this way spend their holidays in this way, who knowingly know what they are going to. They are aware of preparations for such a pastime.

But if you are an unsportsmanlike person, if you have succumbed to the entreaties of your friends, so you are going on a hike for the first time, then you just need preparation. Spontaneously taking such an adventure can be dangerous, or you overestimate your own strengths.

You need to start preparing somewhere a month before the start of the trip. You should cook your body, train muscles, run, do exercises. Active sports will help you prepare - it can be skiing, cycling, outdoor games. Gym will be a good preparation.

Active recreation involves physical activity and climate change. If you spent all the time at the computer, and then went camping without preparation, then the cardiovascular system may begin to malfunction. Excessive stress leads to swelling.

If you didn’t have time to prepare before the holidays, you still need to start, gradually increasing the load on the body.

And in the end, I want to appeal to those who can not imagine themselves without work. Vacation is not laziness and sloppiness, this is an opportunity to replenish the supply of strength and energy. Workaholics should remember that the lack of rest negatively affects not only them, but also their family, friends and relatives. Rest is a must. Only in this way can you save energy for fruitful work. You must be able to relax properly.

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My patient Eliot recently took a vacation. He works as a general practitioner and has recently begun to feel tired and exhausted. He planned to sleep until noon, read novels, take a walk, watch the missing episodes of Game of Thrones. But instead, he made up a busy schedule with visits to museums, concerts, theaters and trips with friends to trendy bars and restaurants. In addition, the schedule involved training in the gym and Spanish lessons.

Eliot complained that he felt even more exhausted than after work, and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. “I tried to understand how I managed to manage so much when I was not going to do anything at all. For some reason, doing nothing seems to me an impossible task. Is it possible to do nothing! ”Exclaimed Eliot.

One of the signs of burnout is a feeling when you are exhausted and at the same time feel the need to continue to run somewhere

When Eliot protests against "idleness," he comes from a position of Western culture, which condemns the lack of activity. He constantly demands high productivity from himself and feels shame when his performance is low. But in the end, he is too tired to work, and too tense to rest.

This is one of the signs of burnout - feelings when you are exhausted and at the same time have a painful need to continue to run somewhere. Burnout involves the inability to relax, that is, "do nothing." It prevents you from enjoying simple things - sleeping, taking a bath, taking a leisurely stroll, enjoying dinner or talking. To recommend relaxing practices to people who cannot relax is a meaningless task.

What will help us learn to relax again?

In mild cases of burnout, nervous exhaustion is caused by external rather than internal causes: stressful events - the experience of losing a loved one, divorce, financial difficulties - and high demands in the workplace. In such cases, you should review the work schedule and do yoga or meditation.

You will already help yourself if you hear the needs of the inner "I" and understand that they do not always coincide with what the people around you and circumstances require from you. But such decisions seem unrealistic for workaholics with a high level of responsibility. When the roots of burnout go too far, communication with a therapist will help. Psychoanalytic sessions will be a way to voice and hear the flow of your own thoughts. And in the past, the key to the causes of burnout will be revealed.

We often follow habits without realizing that we live according to the pattern instilled in childhood

In the case of Eliot, it turned out that way. His family was not allowed to rest. Even now, his retired parents do not like to just watch TV, read books or chat. He remembers family dinners on the run when his father and mother tried to quickly eat and run away on business. His own life was always overloaded with homework and extracurricular activities, and his “laziness” was brutally attacked by his parents.

“They were obsessed with activity and instilled in me a feeling of guilt for the so-called waste of time,” he said at one of our sessions. We often thoughtlessly follow habits and indulge in workaholism, not realizing that we live according to a pattern instilled as a result of education. But sometimes it’s worth considering whether we live correctly and whether we really like such a life.

About the expert

Josh Cohen - British psychoanalyst, professor at the University of London and writer. The author of the book "Private life: why we wander in the dark."

One of the signs of burnout is a feeling when you are exhausted and at the same time feel the need to continue to run somewhere

What will help us learn to relax again?

We often follow habits without realizing that we live according to the pattern instilled in childhood

About the expert

Josh Cohen - British psychoanalyst, professor at the University of London and writer. The author of the book "Private life: why we wander in the dark."