Conflicts in the workplace: how to get out with dignity? How to heal a relationship with a chef and start working calmly.

Conflict with your boss is a death sentence for an employee. You will not be able to work in the same place, and, as a rule, in the same company. And it doesn’t matter for what reason the relationship with is not formed - the extreme one is you anyway. Because the law of corporate life says: whoever is higher is right. Is there a way out?

Corporate life is not sugar, anything happens: resentment, misunderstanding, and quarrels ... It will only be better if all these things happen to you with your colleagues, and not with your own boss. Because if you do not have a relationship with the leader, you have one way - get out of the company. Moreover, you do not have to disagree on professional issues, there are many other, partly unpredictable reasons for hostility - personal relationships. You may simply not like it, choose the wrong tone, not say something in time or keep silent. And that’s all. Your fate is decided: quickly or slowly, but yours will get rid of you. Why does he feel discomfort in the department?

What should an employee do in this situation? At first glance, the answer is obvious: do not quarrel with the authorities. But alas, the simple formula “do not mind, agree and say only what they want to hear” does not always work. If only because not all bosses prefer it and often offer subordinates a different, more trusting style of communication, but at the same time the opportunity to make a fatal mistake always remains. Even if you do not take into account the intentional provocation and the creation of an open conflict situation, for example, the struggle for informal leadership in the team, there are still a lot of nuances that can be burnt.

We often are not able to explain to ourselves sudden sympathies and antipathies, but there are much more cases when we clearly present the reason for dislike, but for various reasons we cannot voice it out loud. However, this still provokes a conflict in which one side is obviously weaker than the other. But is this so, because employees are different and some are more valuable to the company than other managers ...

Employee and boss. How to resolve the conflict between them?

Galina Dmitrieva, Marketing Director, Ventra Employment: “Now the key figures are strongly involved in the company's business, its development plans are often tied to them, and a smart boss will never oppress a chicken that lays golden eggs. Of course, he will try not to lose his authority and significance, but at the same time he will not infringe on the “star”. All this applies to key employees who are significant for the business, which are very difficult to replace without loss for the company. Regarding ordinary staff, the usual scheme works: if the employee could not establish relations with the head, he, as a rule,. We often come across candidates who were forced to leave the company only because they did not find a common language with the management. ”

However, before moving on to hostilities and extreme measures, experts advise both sides to try to resolve the conflict peacefully. The main thing is to stop in time, and the boss should be the first to take the step, because the risks for him increase every day. Do not console yourself with the hope that the conflict of two employees will be ignored by the rest. The entire department will immediately be divided into two camps, and the atmosphere in the team will become such that you can forget about the normal operation of the unit. But the leader will be responsible for the results, because this is his main responsibility. Therefore, the conflict must be "strangled" in the bud.

How? Nadezhda Lyakhovskaya, head of the PR department of the recruiting agency AVANTA Personnel (part of the Adecco Group): “Regardless of who is right - who is to blame, the head of the department should take the most neutral position, look for ways out of the situation, be prepared to go on compromises. His confrontation with one of the team members inevitably becomes apparent to everyone else. Preservation of authority can be achieved not through policy measures, but through wise moves. Emotions will have to be restrained, even if it is obvious that the other is not right. In general, shifting the conflict from emotional to professional can be one way out. ”

It is clear that resolving the conflict is hard work, and often the boss has no desire to do this. He is also a man and can not always step over grievances and personal hostility and be the first to go closer. Plus, a psychological element is superimposed on this: he is the boss, the most important one, and suddenly go back and put up ?! Is he with an outstretched hand, sort of acknowledging his defeat? Never. Yes, it’s better to fire an employee and forget about the conflict. But there are exceptions.

Olga Ivanova, manager of the financial recruitment department of Antal Russia, remarks: “If the employee is really valuable, the company will try to do everything possible to resolve the conflict and retain a specialist. If the company's capabilities allow, then it can be transferred to another unit. ”

By the way, there is one curious point regarding layoffs. According to experts, Russian employers in such situations dismiss employees immediately, not caring about ethics or compliance with laws. And in Western companies, the situation is developing a little differently. Galina Dmitrieva reports: “I have a life example. In a Western company, as a result of a conflict with superiors, the talented head of the internal recruitment department was dismissed, who remarkably solved the problems of recruiting specialists, including rare ones. In this case, his immediate superior waited for a puncture and then fired an unpleasant employee, having paid all the compensation, that is, he tried to give everything a legal order. ”

However, the dismissal of an employee can go sideways and the boss. First, who will serve as the departed? It will be necessary to redistribute matters, to seek a new person, to bring him up to date ... It is very troublesome. But another moment is much more unpleasant. Nadezhda Lyakhovskaya warns: “The dismissal of an employee who provokes a conflict should be an extreme measure, as it can lead to irreparable consequences: from the decline in your authority to the departure of the rest of your team following your leader.” All employees observe the development of the conflict and draw conclusions. When dismissing a colleague in a similar situation, the conclusions will be very unpleasant for the boss.

Be that as it may, the employee lost outright. The troubles that arise in the head of the dismissed can bring only moral satisfaction. If there is a conflict with the boss, there is only one way - leaving the company. Or is it still not? But what if you try to replay the leader and quietly get rid of him?

However, Olga Ivanova does not advise doing this: “If you are a smart person, then it is better not to do this. In large companies, an unwritten rule usually applies: whoever has a higher position is right. And even if the “star” goes to complain about the leader, then sideways it can still come out to herself. After all, the boss also knows a lot and knows how and takes his place for a reason, and when considering a controversial situation, his position will be stronger. ”

Does the employee really have absolutely no choice: either put up with the bosses, and if this is impossible (and often not on his own initiative), then leave? What can be really done to resolve the situation and not harm yourself?

Experts advise to have a frank conversation with a higher boss or HR. You don’t need to be afraid of it, you just need to do it right. Remember: you do not go to complain, but to solve a problem, you care about the efficiency of the department, and not just about yourself. And in no case do not ask to dismiss the boss, ask for your own transfer to another unit. Well, if you can immediately offer an acceptable option.

Olga Ivanova gives advice on how to behave in a similar situation: “You should not give in to emotions and go up immediately after a quarrel or a heated conversation. You need to calm down, pick up the facts and arguments and operate only on them, clearly setting out your position, but in no case do not set ultimatums. You came to find a constructive solution that will help everyone. It’s worth starting with the words: “I want to stay with the company ... I need advice ...”

Such a statement of the question will appeal to your interlocutor, because this contains a small psychological trick: if you ask for advice, then, firstly, you acknowledge that your counterpart is wiser, and secondly, letting him know that he is needed is irreplaceable. And it’s very pleasant to hear for any boss, so your chances to get rid of an unpleasant leader happily, but at the same time, stay in a good company increase.

Although in order not to have to get out of such a delicate situation, it is better not to get into it. Therefore, extinguish conflicts with superiors in the bud.

Misunderstanding between the boss and subordinates is not a rare phenomenon. And sometimes quarrels with management end with dismissal. According to psychologists, there are certain rules, following which you can settle the conflict and not lose your favorite job. Consider some of the most common situations.

You get little

You have been working at the company for 10 years. The boss hired a young employee and assigned him the same salary as yours. You think this is unfair, because your experience and dedication to work equated the skills of a beginner.
To increase your salary, it is not necessary to raise a vote for the boss

What to do? Do not try to take offense at a young colleague, do not insult him and do not intrigue him. Talk to your boss, calmly express your dissatisfaction. And instead of being indignant at the salary of a newcomer, it is better to ask for an increase for yourself and justify your request.

You are older than your boss

Sometimes the boss’s attempts to lead you offend your pride, because you already ate the granite of science when he was just learning to walk.

What to do? You must follow the instructions in the manual. But if you feel that the chef is in some way wrong, share with him the right decision, in your opinion. A good boss will always appreciate fresh ideas.

You sat

For several years, your goal was to take a higher position. Recently this place was vacated, but the boss didn’t take you, but some girl from the outside.
What to do? Explain to the boss that they have reached the maximum competence in their work and could be of great benefit if they occupy such a position. Take an interest in how the boss sees your further career advancement. Most likely, he will make a decision that suits both of you.

You are too talkative

The boss found out that you were unflattering about him. He is looking for reasons to fire you, and your relationship has grown into a psychological duel. What to do? Never speak badly of either the boss or colleagues. If this has happened, the initiative to talk and apologize should come only from you.
And finally, general advice to subordinates and superiors. During a conflict, you risk becoming a hostage to your words. For example, in the heat of the moment you loudly announce that you are quitting. But time will pass, you will calm down, but because of pride you will be forced to leave a good job. The same thing with the boss: in the midst of a conflict with employees, he will threaten to demote you. After a few days, everything will settle down, but pride will not allow him to take his words back, because the rest of his subordinates might think that he showed weakness. Therefore, during quarrels, it is very important to monitor what you say.

To this topic

How much are you worth? On the Internet there is a site zarplatomer.ru with a questionnaire. It is enough to answer a few questions about your profession, and the salary meter will determine the level of wages corresponding to your qualifications and region of residence, taking into account offers on the labor market.

We calculated what salary a nurse, a grocery department salesman and an accountant in Voronezh and Moscow with experience, professional certificates and higher education can count on. The site shows the salary in dollars, we converted it to the local currency. So, according to the salary meter, a nurse in Voronezh costs 2250 - 2800 rubles, in Moscow - 3600 - 4350 rubles. Our seller can earn 6800 - 8350 rubles, in the capital - 10700 - 13000 rubles. An accountant in Voronezh can count on a salary of 13700 - 16700 rubles, in Moscow - 21500 - 26300 rubles.

We spend 40 or more hours a week, where we communicate with completely different people and on various issues. Conflicts are inevitable, due to different characters, interests, points of view, and individual stress tolerance of a person. And if we are in relatively equal conditions with our colleagues, then conflict with superiors You are already performing in different weight categories.

There can be many reasons for the conflict itself, and you won’t take them all into account in one article. Therefore, I will immediately go directly to the question itself.

Conflict with superiors. Possible consequences and what to do.

Major negative results if arising conflict with superiors, this is a possible dismissal, or the creation of working conditions for him, under which you yourself will not be able to continue to work and leave for yourself. Fortunately, he has all the opportunities in his hands, and they do not always possess nobility, and are also objectively honest with their subordinates.

However, it is important to remember some important points. A dispute is also a dialogue, and it must also be conducted competently.

As my experience shows, most conflicts are not worth a damn, and they can be quickly repaid or even avoided. You have no idea what imbeciles I had to work with. The henchmen, sons-in-law or sons of the general directors and so on, completely undeservedly holding their posts, and striving to gain authority from scratch. Believe me, you will not educate and educate all of them.

Tip 1. Zero emotions. If a conflict has begun with the authorities, do not break down - but better to say nothing at first. Emotion is a bad adviser. Hotheads will immediately object to me - and now, to be patient and silently demolish everything? The answer is yes! It is to remain silent at the time of the dispute or conflict. The reason for this advice: perhaps you yourself are wrong, and you need to analyze everything in a relaxed atmosphere. And when they shout at you, you can’t soberly assess it. I really want to answer, but sharper.

Tip 2. Take a look at the situation through his eyes. Absolutely everyone misses this moment. Everyone has their own truth and their own point of view. And other people, customers, customers are pressing on the bosses and there is a high probability that his dissatisfaction with you is objective.

Tip 3. Separate flies from cutlets. If you entered into a dispute, then operate only with facts. No subjective opinions. In terms of your emotions, you will not prove your case, even if you scream louder than himself.

Tip 4. Do not get personal. Any conflict has its roots. Follow them and go. Do not insult a person, regardless of whether you like him or not. Work is work, and a person’s personality does not apply to you.

Tip 5. If conflicts are not exhausted and prolonged , think in a relaxed atmosphere (perhaps it is better to take administrative leave for a few days) - but do you need this work at all? Does everything suit you and would like to continue working there, if not for this conflict and this boss? On this vacancy, the light did not converge, and finding a job is not such a big problem. Anyone who claims the opposite is simply poorly looking. Another question is whether you are comfortable with conditions in new places. And to waste your nerves on tyrants - I don’t think your salary is worth it.

Signs that the boss is still right.

It is not strange, but the bosses are also adequate in their own way, right. Often we do not notice this, just because we have different tasks and a different point of view. So, the signs are:

“My deep conviction that all conflicts at work is due to the fact that people almost do not talk, do not give honest feedback, do not voice expectations or even lie. Then there is a conflict. One expected that he would be awarded for a well-made project, and the second thought that the first would guess - the project was poorly done, although no one spoke about it, ”said Marina Lvova, HeadHunter HR Director.

The main role of the leader is to give feedback in time, to adjust employee behavior. This has a positive effect on the result. But most often, leaders are silent. Or they think that there is no need to explain the obvious - the employee himself will guess how it is customary for the company to interact, what is expected of him and how he should achieve it.

“Another cause of conflict is the reluctance to work. And both can not want to: the employee and the head. As a result, everyone has to create an imitation of violent activity, and the company does not get any result. The third reason is a mismatch of goals: personal and corporate. As a rule, this is also due to the inability to correctly communicate the goals of the company so that it would be interesting for a person to accept them in the context of his personal goals. ”

The basis of the conflict at work is the mismatch of expectations and reality. The reasons are different. From poorly formulated tasks to contradictions for the goals of the company and the employee.

Useful notes: how to criticize and how to respond to criticism

Open communication at all levels is conflict prevention. This works if any employee is able to professionally respond to comments and competently criticize. Therefore, both the employee and the employer need to be able to listen and talk.

Useless criticism may be

Eugene, redo everything! It is impossible to show decent people!
Lyuda, you don’t know how to work with clients at all! Do something about it!
Ivan Ivanovich, I will not even begin to undertake this work! A waste of time, don't you understand ?!

Useful conversation looks different

Eugene, our client asked to add his own photos from the objects to the presentation. But, as we see, the quality of the pictures is terrible. This, of course, is not your fault. Let's ask the client for other files or offer to hire a photographer and take all the objects in two days. What do you think?
Lyudmila, I want to tell you a little about our customer communication policy. Firstly, we communicate in the office only for you, ...
Ivan Ivanovich, I would not want to waste your and my time on this work. And that's why...

Useful comments appear when a person has figured out a task, saw a mistake, and can formulate what has been done wrong. If the feedback from colleagues or the manager is too emotional, it is better to take a break: “Sergey, I see, we better stop now. Let's think about this problem a bit and talk in about 15 minutes. ” A remark is a desire to better complete a common task, rather than spoil the mood.

“In my opinion, if managers quickly and honestly answer questions from employees, they perceive feedback not as a personal attack, but as a desire to make the company better and stronger, this increases the level of trust in both the company and the leader. This needs to be taught - to create programs, to have a director general at the forefront of this culture, ”notes Marina Lvova.

The correct reaction to incomprehensible remarks or emotional criticism is a question of what exactly is not in order. If they criticize you, and not you - keep a neutral tone of communication, refer only to facts, clarify everything that is not clear, and take a break when necessary.

When gave vent to emotions

Oleg, why are you blaming me? Others have nothing to do with it? Always a little bit - it's my fault right away!
And then I’ll deal with others! Now talk about you.
Well, I do not! Enough with me! I quit!

When turned to the facts

Vasya, the project is on fire. Actually, I instructed you to follow everything. What the heck?
Oleg, no problem, let's discuss. What are the questions for me?
What to discuss? Timing is already running out, and the teams are somehow working. There are no materials, the client has already phoned me - he wants to see, but there is nothing to show!
Vasya, I urgently transferred one brigade to glazing. There, the facade decoration is tied - until the windows are finished, we will not be able to finish the lining.
Okay then. What about the materials?
He returned the paint that was ordered for the hall. The painter made a mistake and gave the wrong color. Yes, not yet matte, but sent a glossy one - there everything will be blinded, Vasya, if we leave it like that. The store promised to replace everything in two days. In the meantime, the team is busy on the windows anyway.
Oh well. When do you finish the hall? The customer must be encouraged.
I hope that we will do it by Friday.
Okay. I will invite him on Sunday. But for sure everything was ready. Deal?
Hands on, Vasya.

How to reduce emotional stress in a conversation

There are many scenarios in which conflict can develop. If we exclude professional disagreements, we get a set of situations where quarrels occur because of too strong emotions. Business coach Denis Edelkin advises reducing emotional stress in a conversation. To do this, you need to understand why the boss is suddenly annoyed and raises his voice:

“The first possible reason is that the leader himself is in constant strong tension and, as a result, begins to pass it on to others. Even if the chef behaves in a similar manner with all his subordinates, you may notice that someone gets more than the rest - and this is far from always related to the achievements of each member of the team. Simply, once having caught that you succumb to such provocations, the boss involuntarily chooses you as an interlocutor for discharge.

In this case, you need to master the methods of reducing emotional stress in the conversation - they will allow you to communicate more constructively and even build relationships. In the eyes of the chef you will look more confident. "

Emphasize the community with the partner - the similarity of goals, interests, professional qualities:

Ivan Ivanovich, just like you, I want the project to be completed on time. That is why I ask you to clarify what is the reason for your disagreement with paragraph number 3?
It is important for all of us to eliminate the risks that arise when this system is launched. Just for this, I ask you to give me another day to describe a detailed algorithm of actions for ...
We both want to do better, and therefore I ask for your support in the matter ... because it will provide an opportunity ...

Recognize the importance of the partner, his opinions:

Ivan Ivanovich, I would have your ability to insist on my own! I would then be able to convince you that ...
I envy your ability to see the details and therefore please clarify which of the options I proposed was better.

“Perhaps the manager believes that he is using the only right way to manage, and retiring employees are acceptable losses on the way to the goal.

A decisive, straightforward, result-oriented, impatient, requiring immediate return winner by nature - all these characteristics, the researcher and founder of Persona Global, John Horstein, uses in describing such a communicative style as a “controller”. His leading needs are the desire to make decisions and achieve goals.

People with a similar communication style often perceive others as nothing more than a resource. Acceptance is far from their strongest trait, but with sincerity they are doing well, even too much. They usually do not hide their displeasure and directly say everything that they do not like, not caring about how it will be perceived by others. Accordingly, in a dialogue with them, it is also worth betting on what is their strength. In other words, directness (correct), and sometimes an advancing game in the style of “scold yourself,” plus short phrases with an emphasis on results, is needed, ”explains Denis Edelkin.

Ivan Ivanovich, I know that you will most likely criticize my proposal, but I am sure that our fears should not interfere with the common cause ...
I have suggestions that will reduce the project implementation time by two days (reduce material consumption by 5%, reduce weight by N times, and so on) and three reasons to be sure of this.
Ivan Ivanovich, I went so that you would criticize my edits on the project ...
Ivan Ivanovich, all your comments are important to me, and if you added what my steps were right, I would be able to quickly achieve the desired result and I would be very grateful to you ... (hold a pause).
Ivan Ivanovich, I don’t know what to think: on the one hand, I see that there is the result of my work, on the other, you criticize all my suggestions. Tell me what to do to get your support?

Quiet and friendly intonation is very important, says Denis Edelkin. Only in this case, tricks and phrases will work. To feel more confident, it is useful to train the skill of reasonably defending your position. Best of all, debate helps.

A conversation without unnecessary emotions is the fastest way to compare expectations and move on to specific steps. You can also quickly figure out the reasons and settle the conflict, using the help of a third party. For example, the department of personnel helps.

What to ask arguing

In a conversation with each participant in the conflict, it is important to ask the right questions. A conversation can be built like this:

What, in your opinion, is the conflict?
How would you respond in the place of a manager / employee?
What recommendations would you give yourself on the spot manager / employee?
What specific topics would you like to discuss with the manager / employee?
Write for yourself a list of expectations and suggestions for changing the interaction.
Determine if you want us to be present during your conversation? What kind of support do you need from us?

“I recommend involving the personnel department at the very beginning of the conflict. We do not solve conflicts, but we help the employee and the manager to hear each other, deal with emotions, separate them from facts and draw up an action plan. Even when the leader and employee do not want to work with each other anymore, we help to leave in a civilized manner, ”says Marina Lvova.

It is important that the personnel department maintain a neutral attitude towards all parties to the conflict. This is a guarantee of a correct and impartial decision. If the work of the department is organized correctly, then both the head and the employee can seek help. This is possible if the department is ethical and there is no doubt about its neutrality.

One way for a leader to prevent conflicts is to write instructions to himself. These are the rules of interaction with superiors for other employees. When the basic concepts are thought out and formulated, there are fewer misunderstandings. So not only the leader protects himself from conflict, but the team works better.

The main thing:

The conflict begins when expectations do not coincide with reality. The best prevention of conflicts is to voice expectations, compare them with the capabilities of the team.
The ability to correctly comment and calmly respond to criticism is protection against unnecessary disagreements. You can conduct training for the team to develop these skills.
Talking to the facts works better than emotional verbal skirmishes. If you feel that the situation is heating up - say so, offer to take a break.
The conflict can be resolved with the help of a third party. For example, by contacting the personnel department. Here neutrality and ethics are important.
Civilized communication is important at every stage - from employment to dismissal. If you cannot avoid breaking the contract, keep calm and try to part with dignity.

No one is safe from a conflict situation at work. Any employee at least once was a participant in such a conflict, or watched it from the outside. Not everyone thinks about how to resolve the conflict at work, and prefer to act impulsively. But such knowledge must be obtained by every employee: someday they will come in handy.

How to prevent a working conflict

To begin with, we’ll give a few rules, adhering to which, with a high probability you will be able to avoid conflict situations at work.

Choose the right place of work. Many conflicts arise because the employee is not happy with the low salary, lack of career growth, and so on. When you are at the stage of an interview with a company, you need to find out all the points that are important to you. At least you can definitely find out about career opportunities.
Know your responsibilities. Conflicts often arise when an employee misunderstands his job responsibilities. Or one of the colleagues brazenly tries to shove his work to him. Therefore, their work responsibilities must be well understood. As a rule, in all posts there is a job description and, of course, it must be adhered to. But, as they say, "if you want to piss everyone off, act within the framework of the instruction." Therefore, periodic assistance to colleagues in their work, periodic fulfillment of requests from superiors "to do what is not directly involved" is not ruled out. It is important not to let you sit on your neck and be able to gently refuse.
Learn to listen to other people's points of view. Often conflicts arise due to the divergence of the views of colleagues on a particular working issue. It’s important to be able to listen to someone whose opinion is different from yours.
Do not give cause for conflict: exclude lateness, rudeness, rudeness on your part.
Do not engage in gossip. From gossip, the most unpleasant conflict can be born - interpersonal. Unlike the worker, overcoming it is much more difficult. If you do not gossip at work, then reduce the likelihood of interpersonal conflict at times.

If a conflict does occur, try the following recommendations.

Conflict with a colleague

Often, a conflict with a colleague ends in mutual alienation. This is not so scary, because the work was created in order to work, and not to make friends, buddies. It’s much worse when they start to be rude, rude, and even substitute you. In this case:

Do not try to repay with the same coin. Cold courtesy will be enough. On the other hand, this does not mean that one must endure direct insults. If a colleague crosses all borders, you need to calmly answer something like: “Sorry, Maria Ivanovna, I can’t continue to talk with you in a similar tone. I am ready to continue after your apologies. ” Such a phrase will perplex the offender, as his insults are aimed at evoking emotions in you.
Do not discuss what happened with colleagues. Work is work, and even a colleague whom you considered a friend may not be so.
Do not react too emotionally. It’s hard to keep emotions in yourself, but you try. So now, for every fool to weep and quit? If you feel that you are now crying or committing a rash act, leave the office to neutral territory. For example, to the toilet. Take it easy.
Talk to your superiors. This is the case when one of your colleagues openly scoffs at you or starts to substitute you. Do not be afraid that you will be considered a scammer. It is important to present the information correctly. For example, to begin with how your work is dear to you, and you are very upset that due to disagreements in the team, your labor productivity may decrease.

If you work in a large company, then it may have a special conflict resolution service - compliance. Find out about its availability and, if anything, contact there.

Conflict with the boss

In a conflict with the boss, things are a little more complicated. As soon as you understand that a conflict has occurred (let’s say the boss rudely yelled at you), do not try to object and yell back. Do not try to prove to your boss that you are really a good employee and that he is wrong with you. Listen to the end and leave silently (do not slam the door). Analyze the situation. Perhaps you really made a mistake somewhere.

The main signs by which you can determine the correctness of the authorities:

Your work is criticized solely, not your personality;
You were regularly made comments on the same lack of work (for example, on the timing of the work);
Other colleagues expressed dissatisfaction with your work;
The boss is dissatisfied, since your actions lead to negative consequences for the company (for example, it receives fines for the delay in your work);
You do not scold at all colleagues, but only face to face.

If you yourself are to blame, then later go to the boss and say that you understand your mistakes, and try to continue not to make them. If possible, suggest solutions to the problem. Understand performance criteria. If necessary, ask for help if you do not understand something at work.

But it also happens that you get from the authorities undeservedly. It may well be that the boss was simply out of sorts. Especially if you have a conflict for the first time. Therefore, if you come in some time after the conflict and say something like “Ivan Ivanovich, could you please make claims to my work again?”, It may turn out that there are no complaints.

It may happen that you just do not like the bosses. This may be indicated by the following:

It is not only and not so much your work that is criticized, but your personality. For example, you don’t say that, you don’t look like that, and so on.
In the voice of the chief one feels contempt; you feel that the boss takes pleasure in the comments.
Dissatisfaction is expressed to you regularly, but on different occasions and at different times.
The boss yells at you with colleagues.
The boss cannot adequately say by what criteria he evaluates the work.

It is not easy to get out of this situation. The main thing is not to become an eternal victim. Try to stop attempts to criticize your personality. And most importantly - always keep calm. Responding aggression to aggression, you give an occasion to the boss again and again to yell at you. Try to clarify more often the boundaries of the site of your work, your responsibilities, criteria for evaluating work, deadlines.

If you can’t get out of the conflict, you can bring your boss’s bosses to business. But this only happens in large firms. If your company doesn’t have this, then you probably have to look for a new job. After all, not to be nervous after all because of the boss, a tyrant.

Video

The videos will help you understand how to resolve work conflicts.