How do you know if a man is right for you? How to understand that a man suits you.

No matter how loudly feminists shouted that for a woman to be happy it is enough to feel independent and independent, all the representatives of the fair half still dream of a worthy life partner.

Therefore, single ladies, especially those who are already over 25 years old, every day wonder how, the relationship with which will give them true happiness. Women's site “Beautiful and Successful” today will take the liberty of telling single girls their mistakes in finding a life partner and telling those who are already in a relationship whether they are going the right way.

Lonely women very often complain that some “second-rate males” come across on their life’s path: first they’re too old sissies, then non-initiative mattresses, then rude and self-confident tyrants. Psychologists say that the cause is the complainants themselves.

Bad luck with men in women can be explained by several reasons:

She grew up in a wonderful family, where her father was a model of a male family man. A girl who has been adored by her father since childhood has certain requirements for men; she tries to transfer the model of relations in the parent family to her relationship. But, of course, not one of her companions fits into the ideal image, as a result, both of them are disappointed, the relationship is broken. In order to meet the same man in this case, the girl needs to learn how to forgive men their dissimilarity with the ideal image formed in her childhood dreams.
The girl grew up without a father and suffered all her life because of this. Growing up, she is looking for a “prodigal dad" in every man he meets. Typically, these women sympathize with older men who already have their own family. Of course, there can be no talk of happy, harmonious relations in this case. Such women need to get rid of children's insults to their father.
A woman has low self-esteem, considers herself ugly, stupid, non-economic, etc. As a result, she attracts notorious and infantile men. Only by starting to work on herself and raising her self-esteem will she be able to change her life.
A woman does not have a clear idea of \u200b\u200bthe appearance, character and spiritual qualities of a man; she herself does not know which partner she needs, so representatives of the stronger half pass her by.

Psychologists assure: in order to meet his man, a woman is simple enough ... to dream of him. But dreaming is not abstract, but specifically, it is desirable to make a list of qualities and external signs that a future partner should possess.

And the waiting time for this happy meeting should be spent not idly, but with benefit, doing your own business, working on personal growth and appearance.

The main thing is not to get carried away with self-improvement too much so as not to miss the fateful meeting and understand in time that he is the same one.

How to find out if a man suits you: signs of fate

Recognizing your companion donated by heaven is actually not as difficult as it seems. Site site in a hurry to remind its readers: all women by nature have a strong intuition, therefore they recognize their man in the crowd immediately. In addition, they cannot fail to notice the signs sent by providence.

Fate suddenly encounters people destined for each other under various circumstances. It often happens that a man and a woman accidentally meet their eyes somewhere in the subway, and after a few weeks they are met by mutual friends. If a person flashed through life and then almost immediately disappeared - he is intended for someone else, even if at first it seemed as if he was the one.
Signs and tips from above people often find simply on the street. Esotericists recommend: when wondering if a man is right for me, just try to pay attention to phrases that often catch your eye when thinking about this person or even when talking to him on the phone. If your gaze suddenly hooked on the Garden Ring sign - perhaps the relationship has a future. And, for example, the song “At that time, there is no love” that sounds at such a moment can be taken as a literal answer to an exciting question.
To understand that this man is her fate, a woman will be able by his look. Eyes do not lie, it will be easy to read admiration and admiration in them. That is what the future husband should look at you.

However, admiring glances are well known to many beauties who still can not have a serious relationship with a man. How do you know that this is your man, if others had previously looked with lust, said compliments and gave expensive gifts? The answer is simple: trust your heart.

How to understand that a man is the only one

In matters of the heart, sanity is a bad adviser. Often, girls begin to meet men who, according to others, are ideal candidates for husbands: they earn good money, behave courteously and politely, do not violate the rules of public morality and are well aware of etiquette. But, paradoxically, not every woman will be happy next to such an ideal husband. Because in a life partner, the main thing is not the sum of his bank savings and the ability to housekeeping.

Find out if this man is right for her, sensations that she experiences next to him will help the woman.

The feeling of being relaxed and the desire to be yourself. Next to your man you don’t want to pretend to be someone else, you will behave with him as naturally as with close friends or relatives.
Calm The feeling of absolute security next to a person is one of the main answers to the question of how to understand that this is your man.
Spiritual kinship. If, just a few hours after meeting a man, it begins to seem to you that you have known each other all your life, he can become your destiny.
The pleasure of his touch and the desire to touch him. If his hugs, kisses, or even just light touches cause butterflies to fly in his stomach, it does not matter who he is by profession or how old he is. Next to him, you will be happy in all circumstances.
. There is no more reliable way to understand that a man is the only one than comparing interests and views. Building a relationship with a person who absolutely does not share either your life position or your interests will fail, even if you have an absolute idyll in bed.

"To love is to look together in one direction." Every educated person on the planet has heard this aphorism, but not everyone understands the depth of wisdom of this simple statement. Loving hearts, united by common views, are an ideal couple that can overcome all life's difficulties and maintain their pure feeling for many years.

Wondering how to understand that this man is your destiny, you do not need to count his capitals, study a pedigree or try to predict the height of his career in the future. No need to be afraid that he will not be able to buy expensive gifts or will not carry on his hands every day.

More important to feel does this person understand you, does he see a personality in you and loves sincerely, truly, just as you love him. Trust your heart and you will know what is true.

Why doesn’t the relationship develop? 5 signs of a man who does not suit you

I advise you to write on a piece of paper, everything that you expect from a relationship with a man. If your potential partner does not comply with at least one of the principles you have written down, part with such a person.
No need to behave like a child and “until the last” hope for a miracle. Making a decision and implementing it will be difficult, but later you will say “thank you very much” to yourself. Just be realistic and not demand the impossible. Ideal guys do not exist.
I repeat once more, even if this sounds corny, but you need someone who will love you for who you are, because you cannot stop being yourself, and a man cannot stop being yourself either.

You can only pretend to be someone else and “step on your throat” for a very short time. Then nature will take its toll anyway. Remember this!

FROM AUTHOR: My answers in the comments are the opinion of a private individual, not the recommendation of a specialist. I’m trying to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because it requires a lot of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I beg you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, not to try to use comments for correspondence or chat, and not to expect that I will advise in the comments.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but then be prepared for the fact that I will ignore yours. This is not a matter of principle, but exclusively of time and my physical abilities. Do not be offended.

If you want to receive qualified assistance, please contact for advice, and I will dedicate my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

With respect and hope for understanding, Frederick

The beginning of a new relationship can drive both sexes into panic. But if young people are relatively calm about such romantic changes in life, then girls often fall into deep thought. It seems to them that the person you like will not be a prince on a white horse at all, and not even a simple pleasant guy. They are tormented by the main question: “how to understand that a man is right for you?” You do not need to go into heavy thoughts once again, you just need to read this article and decide for yourself whether that person is or is worth looking for a little more.

Psychological ways to understand that a man suits you

Knowledge of the psychological aspects of the difference between a man and a woman will give ease in relationships and the ability to “not bother”

The similarity of the way of thinking of a man and a woman, some features of the chosen one’s character and the girl’s attitude to them all determine the psychological side of the question of understanding a “suitable partner”. At the same time, to assess compatibility, it is not at all necessary to have special knowledge from the field of scientific psychology, it is enough to look at some details of his behavior and the girl’s reaction to them.

Joint talk

It happens that after meeting somewhere on the Internet, people agree to meet, and a man cannot say a word, does not support any conversation. At this point, you should not draw conclusions, they are very likely to be erroneous. If a person was cheerful in electronic correspondence, then sooner or later he will become the same in live communication. He is simply shy, somewhat confused!

People live in society, so the person’s ability to communicate can determine the degree of socialization

But if the situation does not change over time, and the conversation does not stick, then life with such a man will be difficult and boring, you need to run away from him. The reasons for this situation lie in:

lack of common interests;
isolation of a man;
the desire of a young man to conceal something (it is very rare).

If a man really likes it, it's worth trying to bring him into a frank conversation about the reasons for constantly avoiding conversation, only it is unlikely to lead to anything: it is one thing if he is just embarrassed by the conversation, and another thing is the lack of common interests.

Comfort

Sometimes, in the presence of a person, a woman feels completely safe, under the cover of protection and guardianship, surrounded by tenderness. This is the highest degree of so-called comfort. This also includes a sense of security from himself. Yes, on first dates, a timid girl may be afraid of a new man, which is quite rare, but if the feeling of anxiety does not go away for a long time (after a 3-4 date), then this man is definitely not suitable.

If you have a strong feeling that something is going wrong at the beginning of your cohabitation, then it's better to leave

A young man may not represent a real danger to the girl, she just does not relax with him. A man can be 1000 times good, handsome and smart, but if there is such a flaw, then you can safely forget about the relationship with him, it will not lead to anything good. By the way, there is a direct connection with the general topics of conversation discussed above - if there are none, then there will be no comfort.

The opportunity to spend time in silence

The search for the ideal is a long and difficult process

Well, if we are talking about the “candy-bouquet” period, constant communication is not just inevitable, it will only be a joy for both! But with the advent of family life together, the situation changes a little - in the evenings I want to sit in silence, and nobody has canceled the work at home. It is necessary to assess whether a man is able to maintain a distance, that is, for some time not to violate personal space. If a young man constantly gives signs of attention, needs constant communication, and it bothers you - forget about him. There is no fault of his, just your need for communication and attention does not coincide.

Thrift

Living together includes not only celebration, fun and sex, it is also a common life. If a partner cannot drive a nail into the wall, then he is not the best partner, although this cannot be called a determining factor - what if a young man earns very well, and is he able to hire a specialist to drive a nail? But if this is not so, then it is worth thinking hard, because a woman will have to take on some part of openly masculine household chores. Moreover, you need to think if a man "can, but does not want," that is, he is lazy. This character trait is practically impossible to deduce, and it is not necessary, let him live his lazy life.

Housekeeping - a parameter by which to evaluate the future partner at the beginning of family life

Another thing is to help a woman in her affairs, for example, cooking, cleaning, washing. Refuses to help? It’s not a question, but let it earn so much that it’s enough for a normal life, and to facilitate the performance of typically female functions, for example, in the form of buying a good dishwasher. If not able, then let it help. Separation of duties is the right way for an accomplished couple. It’s stupid to argue about typically female prerogatives in everyday life in the modern world. The one who has the time and skills is preparing or cleaning. This way will greatly facilitate mutual understanding and allow the couple to spend more time with each other.

It is about the ability to save money, and not about outright greed. It means competent budget allocation. This is especially noticeable if a man does not turn over millions, or even is poor - earns little, but lives well. So, a young man is able to direct his money in the right direction, you can trust him. And the career prospects of such men are much nicer than those of a spender.

The ability to save money and allocate a budget is an excellent quality for a potential partner

It’s important to remember that some guys try to splurge on their first date. Lead to an expensive restaurant, give an expensive bouquet. At the same time, money for the event was accumulated for about a week, after the end of the meeting the man will remain “empty”. It is impossible to calculate this right away, but after only two or three dates everything will fall into place. And here the main thing is not to make a mistake - this is a show off or a desire to make it nice. If the latter, then the person is most likely good, but not economical, but you must run away from the first.

Sex

Well, what kind of relationship without sex? But it is important to understand the intentions of the young man. From the first hours, or even minutes of acquaintance, he talks about sex or hints at him? Then this is clearly not the case, although if a woman is not against such ties, then you can take a chance. But with a focus on serious relations, such a rush should alert. Probably, this man needs a girl only for sex, and well, if not once. Another option is that the young man is simply preoccupied, it can even be dangerous!

Own feelings, sympathy, skills - the criteria for the choice of most girls

And here he is - the first romantic evening. There is only one criterion - good with this person or not. Just by feeling. It’s just that emotional sympathy is indispensable; if it doesn’t exist, then it is unlikely that you will be able to get pleasure from communication. But on the skill of a man in bed by primacy, you can not pay attention, perhaps he is simply inexperienced. Difficulties with an erection on the first intimate date can also be forgiven, the man is worried, and this is even good - that means he is serious. But if this continues all the time, then problems may arise over time. Talk to the man, find out if this has happened before and make a decision. You may need treatment, but most likely you will just need to get to know each other and “get used to it”.

Astrological signs of compatibility

The synastry is a kind of “science”, capable of determining the compatibility of a man and a woman by date of birth, zodiac sign and some other astrological indicators. In the framework of one article, it is simply impossible to talk about all the criteria, but in general terms, the information is understandable.

Compatibility of people according to the arrangement of stars is a subjective sign, but many believe in it

Date of Birth. This indicator determines compatibility in terms of prospects for the development of relations. It is about the desire for change and the beginning of a new life. If a woman, according to this astrological criterion, does not want intimacy, but longs for windy connections, then the male opposite cannot do anything about it.
Zodiac sign. This is the most common and important criterion. It determines compatibility in communication, at home, in bed, and even in joint rest. I must say that in the past few years, the signs of the zodiac have ceased to play such a serious role in determining a person’s personality - modern living conditions make it adapt to almost everything.

It is not recommended to create compatibility horoscopes independently. An inexperienced “user” can make a lot of mistakes in the natal chart, which will invariably affect the fidelity of decision-making when choosing a man.

It is better to seek the help of professional astrologers, who are now very divorced. Among them are full of scammers, so before you bring money to the "stargazer", read the reviews about his work. There are also online horoscopes that check the compatibility of men and women. Their accuracy is minimal, but they require a lot of money. Do not draw conclusions based on such tests!

Signs that destroy the future

The main criteria that determine the compatibility of men and women were considered above. But there are still a few additional signs that, although they hardly appear at an early stage of the relationship, could become a serious problem in the future.

For each person, the list of criteria for "compatibility" is different - no need to compromise principles for the sake of passion

A man likes to drink. If a potential chosen one does not imagine rest without a glass of vodka or a glass of beer, then in the future there is a risk of alcoholism.
The man is quick-tempered, easily goes to conflict. A balanced calm partner solves all problems peacefully, using force only as a last resort, and never screams. If now he is “dusting” due to minor conflicts, then with the beginning of family life, especially after the “six-month crisis”, he can begin to dissolve his hands.
The young man is trying to show his importance, constantly blowing dust in his eyes. He will do this, instead of growing above himself, and pushing his family forward. In addition, such an approach to life will quickly spoil the relationship of a potential second half with relatives and friends of the girl.
A man has no purpose in life, a hobby. Fa woman will go out all her life together with him. In addition, such men like to drink “with nothing to do,” as mentioned above.
A man does not like children. If the girl herself does not plan to give birth to a child, then there is nothing wrong with that, on the contrary, she will not constantly pester with conversations about the “heir”. Otherwise, the future will not work. Even if the baby is born, the discord will only be a matter of time. However, after the first-born, some men dramatically change their attitude towards children.

You can come to terms with one of these signs, since over time you can really cope with such a flaw. But if two or more are combined, then the relationship, unfortunately, is not worth starting.

The girl does not need to take relationship building and choosing the man of her dreams lightly. The least attention should be paid to astrological criteria, in some cases they simply do not work - "star" features disappear under certain conditions of life. But psychological moments should become the basis of choice. If a woman is not comfortable with a man, he does not give her personal space and does not want to put up with her cockroaches in her head, then the best solution would be to look for another life partner!

How to find out what affects the perception of attractiveness in general, says our consultant - psychologist Yevgeny Idzikovsky.

We are far from always able to understand our attitude towards a person, therefore it is worth paying attention to the signals of our own body - it never lies.

Why is smell so important to us?

Each person has a special individual smell. It is he who largely determines our likes and dislikes. Moreover, as regards the sexual attractiveness of the partner, the recognition of the “suitable” aroma occurs at the subconscious level, in most cases we do not even monitor this process.

A distinct interest in a specific human smell is provided by the characteristics of our hormonal and immune systems. Research by the Swiss scientist Klaus Vedekind back in the mid-90s showed that women like men whose immune system does not match their own as much as possible. At the same time, the chosen ones can radically differ in appearance, physical indicators and level of intelligence. In the case of the coincidence of the immune systems of both subjects, they do not feel attraction to each other, since they perceive the partner as a relative - brother, sister, etc.

Output: the smell is important in terms of attractiveness, but it is important to understand that we are talking about the natural aroma of the body - without perfume, deodorant, a cable from cigarettes, etc.

What body language can say

Even if a person is silent, his posture can say a lot about his attitude to the chosen one. Closed positions (arms crossed on the chest or in pockets, shoulders lowered and folded, legs closed) indicate a lack of interest. But the open postures (the body and feet are turned towards the opposite, the palms are looking up, the arms and legs are not crossed) are vivid evidence that all the attention of a person is focused on the interlocutor.

By the way, “open” people are much more attractive in the eyes of others, they cause more interest.

Output: Use knowledge of body language to demonstrate your passion or to find out how your partner is treating you.

Face: the laws of attractiveness

Most of us like the same type of face, but its completely different features are of interest. Scientists believe that the roots of this phenomenon lie in psychology.

So, in childhood, we all experienced vivid emotions when communicating with different people. And when we meet a person in adulthood who resembles them in emotional state, we quickly become sympathetic to him. Because we know that contact with such people had a strong emotional resonance for us, and we want to experience it again.

Moreover, even if the experience was negative, we still feel attracted to the person. This is due to the subconscious desire to correct the situation, to achieve recognition, approval, love.

Output: it is important for us not so much the face of the partner as the emotions that are associated with it.

How to understand what partner you like

Sometimes our body signals that in front of us is a suitable partner. How to recognize these signs?

Men

You mirror the girl’s gestures, point the socks of your shoes in her direction, and when leaning, lean forward. You begin to correct hair and clothes, your voice becomes higher than usual, and the pupils dilate.

Women

You touch the hairstyle or wrap a lock of hair on your finger, bite your lip, show naked wrists. Your voice is getting lower. You repeat the interlocutor’s gestures, hold a longer eye contact, during communication, turn to him with your whole body.

It's time to study this list. If you see familiar situations here - time to sound the alarm!

7. You are constantly criticized

Everyone has the right to go on a date with tousled hair or to allow themselves to seriously discuss politics, without being criticized by a partner. The person who wants to control you in everything is most likely the wrong candidate. This indicates his unwillingness to accept you as you really are.

If you notice this sign in your second half - run.

6. They don’t listen to you and are not interested in your affairs.

2. Your partner is dissatisfied with himself and transfers this feeling to you

It is important to understand that none of us is perfect, and each has its own shortcomings. A big problem is the interaction with the partner who does not understand this and uses you as a means of replenishing his suffering self-esteem.

For a healthy relationship, you must complement and motivate each other for new achievements and positive changes. A person should not enter into a love relationship in the hope that his partner will become a good tool to feed the ego.

1. Your partner is jealous when things are going well.

A partner who does this is the most insecure person. If he tries to minimize your success or behaves offended, passively-aggressive, jealous or gloomy, then you should think carefully. A loving person should be sincerely glad of your successes, and not be annoyed and suffer.

Often this happens because women tend to idealize a partner, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Instead of criticizing him critically, the young lady, wearing pink glasses, aggressively ignores, almost from the very beginning, saying that the man does not suit her.

Director of the Vladimir Me and You Agency, consultant on interpersonal relations, family psychologist Elena Kuznetsova named eight signs that may indicate that you are meeting with an unsuitable gentleman, and it makes no sense to make plans for him.

1. You caught him lying

Of course, there is a lie for the good, but now we are not talking about it. We are considering a situation where a man fell for a lie, which, undermine the confidence of a woman. Elena Kuznetsova advises ladies for the first time to forgive a partner and give him a second chance. If a man does not live up to expectations and a second time, then he must be parted. A liar is a diagnosis. unlikely to be durable.

“Do not chop off the shoulder. If, nevertheless, an unpleasant situation has occurred for you, try to figure it out and be as fair as possible. It is important to disengage from "you and me", "mine is yours." Only after weighing all the pros and cons, make a decision about whether or not to part with it, ”says the psychologist.

2. The eternal savior

If a woman constantly has to pull a man out of any troubles, save him from alcoholism, debts, unreliable company, then the partner definitely does not suit her. He will be hers. This is if we are talking about a normal, loving family. A woman who is focused on equal partnerships and is not ready to accept the eternal role of a savior.

On the other hand, there are ladies who intentionally choose to take care of them as little boys and to shine against their background. There are ladies who pull the whole family load on themselves, but suffer this situation, because from childhood they got used to it.

“When a woman drags everything on her shoulders, this is wrong. But if at the same time she suffers such a situation, then that is what she needs. So she lives with a suitable man. But when patience is not enough, you need to leave and look for someone with whom you can build partnerships, ”says Kuznetsova.

3. You are not a priority for him

We are not talking about a couple in which, well-providing for the family, but not having the opportunity to pay enough attention to his woman. This is a man who is not able to earn enough, but is rarely at home. He may disappear at work, with friends, in the gym, etc. Any other business, but not his woman, is a priority. Such a man finds time for everything except his partner. This type of representative of the stronger sex, and a woman will always be on the sidelines for him. Such a relationship will not suit a normal woman. Perhaps only the one that was originally brought up in a family where it was customary to spread rot, to humiliate one another and not to reckon with anyone's interests.

4. Abuse of service personnel

A normal woman would hardly want to see rude, arrogant, next to her. But this type of people are just representatives of the stronger sex, who are not too polite with the service personnel, for example, waitresses. If in relation to you the gentleman did not allow himself "nothing of the kind", do not flatter yourself. It is the matter of time. Perhaps during the course he will restrain himself and express his displeasure at the janitors, sellers or waitresses, but in the future he will behave in an unpleasant manner with you. It is pointless to hope for an exception.

5. Always dissatisfied with everything

The endless negativity that comes from your man ultimately bothers you. You will get tired of listening to your partner’s eternal bubbling, seeing his displeased face and listening to his criticisms. Bruise is a diagnosis. Over time, the character of your man will only become heavier, and the man will begin to squander all his dissatisfaction with life on the woman with tripled strength.

6. Everything is against your relationship

If you like a partner, but your close circle speaks out against him, you must, first of all, listen to yourself and uphold your beloved. However, if criticisms come from people whose opinion you trust, you should heed what you are told. It’s possible that you simply don’t notice the obvious things that indicate that the partner is not so nice to you.

If the arguments that your relatives and friends make against your chosen one are well-reasoned and logical, it’s worth taking advice for arming and taking a closer look at your partner. What if he’s really not who he claims to be?

7. Not love

If you belong to the type of women whose other aspects are not taken into account, then it makes no sense to be with someone who does not make you want. If you, and pay attention to the actions of men, then do not rush to part with a partner. Let your relations not be as passionate as you might like, but based on mutual respect, compromises and a comfortable life, they can have good prospects.

8. Your relationship is too prim

An optimistic young lady is unlikely to be able to stay long with a pessimist and a bore. If the relationship lacks humor and lightness, this is a bad symptom. When there is no reason that would “block” the absence of some recklessness in a couple, then most likely you will meet a man who is not suitable for you. Over time, his tediousness will become more annoying, and the relationship will still come to a standstill.

Think twice

If any of the above signs apply to your pair, do not rush. Elena Kuznetsova advises to maintain relations as long as they have at least a fraction of the good, as long as you like something in your man. Moreover, you still have no one to replace it with.

Helpful information

Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir Me and you dating agency, family psychologist. Phone 8-920-909-62-35. Call on weekdays from 11:00 to 19:00

“I would recommend staying with a person until he is satisfied with you at least in some way. As long as the partner has something that you like, it would be blasphemous to drop it. At least until there is no alternative. We are all imperfect. , and to get used to it is extremely difficult. We constantly weigh the pros and cons. But nevertheless, to make a decision in favor of “against” is worth it only when there is complete antagonism in the pair. In all other cases, it makes sense to hold on to a man who is now next to you, ”the psychologist believes.

Measure seven times - cut one. When it comes to relationships, you need to “measure out” not seven times, but a hundred, Kuznetsova is sure.

If you want to offer your topics regarding interpersonal relationships, write to the address of the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected] .