How to get rid of the daffodil. Perverse narcissists, psychopaths

In popular culture, the term "narcissism" is used rather frivolously - as a rule, in view of there are only trivial vanity and obsession with oneself. Such a perception reduces narcissism to a number of ordinary qualities that everyone possesses to one degree or another, and makes us take less seriously the behavior of people who actually have this mental disorder. While all people, to one degree or another, possess narcissistic traits, narcissistic personality disorder is a serious mental disorder.

People with a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder or those who have traits that are inherent in people with antisocial personality disorder behave extremely manipulatively in the context of personal relationships - because of their cunning, lack of empathy and the tendency to exploit others. And although this article will discuss ways of narcissistic exploitation - due to the similarity of symptoms - these same methods can also be potentially used by individuals who have antisocial personality disorder. In any relationship, it is very important to recognize danger signs by which people with malignant narcissism and / or with signs of antisocial personality disorder can be recognized. In order to better protect oneself from exploitation and abuse, build reasonable interpersonal boundaries with other people, and make reasonable decisions about who has a place in our life and who doesn't. Understanding the nature of these toxic relationships and how they affect us is crucial to our psychological well-being.

You should be alarmed by the following signs of hidden manipulative tactics that may occur during a romantic relationship.

I. Phases of idealization - depreciation, rejection

Daffodils and people with symptoms of antisocial personality disorder share romantic relationships with partners in three consecutive phases. The phase of idealization (which manifests itself most strongly in the early stages of relationships) is manifested in the fact that you are “put on a pedestal”, put you in the center of his / her universe, often contact you, and showered you with all manner of praise and praise. You are convinced that the daffodil cannot live without you, and you have met your “soul mate” and your life partner. You should be alarmed: frequent text messages, cheap flattery, and the desire to be with you all the time. This technique is conventionally called “love bombardment,” and it is in this way that most victims “fall on the hook” - they are flattered by the constant attention they receive from the daffodil. You get the impression that the daffodil is sincerely interested in you, while in reality, he only needs to make you dependent on a constant stream of praise and attention.

The phase of depreciation immediately follows the phase of idealization, and it is then that you are dumbfounded to wonder why you were so suddenly overthrown from the pedestal. Narcissus suddenly becomes harsh and cold, begins to criticize you sharply, secretly and openly humiliating you, comparing you to others, completely ignoring you, emotionally detaching yourself from you - by ignoring you secretly expressing contempt for you when you “could not meet his / her standards ".

Since the "hot" period of this phase directly depends on the periodic "strengthening of the emotional connection" - during which the narcissist again shows short-term "bursts" of the idealization phase - doing this periodically - you have the false belief that you are to blame for everything and that responsibility for the emotional reactions of the daffodil - lies precisely on you. You are forced to believe that if you can, become less "demanding" or "reduce your sense of ownership" - then, in return, the narcissist will be able to start behaving again like at the very beginning of the relationship. It is these words that the daffodil uses to humiliate his victims when the victims “mourn” the ending of the idealization phase. This is a way to manipulate your emotional reactions - which arise in response to ignoring them, emotional detachment, and changing behavior. Unfortunately, only during the depreciation phase does the daffodil reveal its true guise. You will have to understand that a man or woman who showed themselves at the very beginning of a relationship never really existed. Only now the whole truth is surfacing, and you will unsuccessfully try to reconcile the disparate images of the daffodil - the one with which you were dealing at the very beginning, and the one with which you are dealing now. Even if the narcissist can feel jealousy and possessiveness towards you - since he / she only perceives you as an inanimate object and a “source of narcissistic nourishment” - the narcissus will very likely project such behavior on you. The narcissus will give the impression that it is you who need him - in response to removal and ignoring - and all this after the habit of frequent contact was “instilled” by the narcissus himself at the very beginning of the relationship.

When the phase of rejection sets in, the narcissus gets rid of his victim in the most terrible and humiliating way possible - so that the victim feels completely insignificant. This can manifest itself as follows: the narcissist will establish a relationship with another person, he / she will publicly humiliate the victim, completely ignore the victim for a very long period of time, show physical aggression - and many other ways of degrading behavior, the purpose of which is to inspire the victim to feel his own nullity. And while “normal” relationships can also end in a similar way. In the case of the daffodil, the difference is that he / she intentionally makes you aware that he intentionally wants to cause you pain - ignoring you, spreading rumors about you, cheating on you with another partner, insulting and humiliating you during the rejection phase. Unlike “normal” partners, they do not allow you to break off relations on your own initiative, and if you did, they can begin to persecute you in order to show you that they still control you.

II. "Gaslighting" ("gaslighting" - literally: "gas lighting")

While in a healthy relationship there is always room for expressing disagreement to a reasonable extent, and respect for the feelings of the partner, in the case of relationships with the daffodil - the constant depreciation of the feelings of the partner is the norm for the daffodil. “Gaslating” is a technique that aggressors who subject their victims to humiliation use to ensure that the victim has an inadequate perception of humiliation. During the phases of depreciation and rejection, the narcissus will constantly criticize your emotions, and blame all the blame on you. Frequent use of phrases such as “you provoked me yourself”, “you are too sensitive”, “I never said such things”, “you take everything too seriously” are used by the daffodil after “attacks” of humiliating treatment on his / her part, and create the false impression that only you were to blame for everything, or that in fact - there was no humiliation. Daffodils are real masters to sow doubt in you. That is why victims often suffer even after breaking up with a daffodil - because all the humiliation and depreciation they experienced - made them feel like a jerk. It is these doubts that often force them to remain in such humiliating relationships - even after it became clear that these relationships are hopeless and toxic - because they were forced to distrust their instincts and instilled a distorted perception of events.

III. Stain by shame

Daffodils are very fond of keeping “harems” around them - because they constantly need to strengthen their ego and praise from the environment - in order to confirm their sense of grandiose importance and satisfy their need for constant admiration. That is why they are very skilled “chameleons”, flatterers and sneaks - instantly changing the external mask depending on the situation and different types of people - in order to get what they need from them.

You should be alarmed by people who suddenly change right before your eyes - this is a clear sign that they are not sincere in their intentions with you and the others. Therefore, it is not surprising that the daffodil will most likely begin to stain you in disgrace right after he / she gets rid of you - in order to create the impression that it is you who are the problem person - and this is usually successful, since the social environment of the daffodil is usually consists of other daffodils, sneaks, empaths, and other easily influenced people.

The “stain by shame” campaign is used to achieve the following three goals:

Creates an opinion about you as an aggressor, and rejects all your allegations

Provokes you to retaliate by confirming a false image of your emotional instability when you try to dispute false allegations against you

Serves as a way to "suck" you back into a disastrous relationship

The only way to resist these tactics is to completely break all contacts with the daffodil and his "harem".

IIII. Love Triangles

Healthy relationships are based on a sense of trust, unhealthy relationships are based on provocation, insecurity - and infidelity. Daffodils love to create “love triangles” for manipulative purposes - and rely on other people's opinions to reinforce their points of view. They abuse it a lot to manipulate your senses - like puppeteers. In Freedom from Psychopaths, the method of deliberately creating love triangles is discussed as a popular method for controlling your emotions among daffodils. Creating a “love triangle” means attracting another partner to the context of current relationships - it can be a former partner, lover / lover, relative, or even a stranger.

These "triangles" can be manifested in the context of social networks, personal networks - or even in the form of the words of the daffodil himself about another partner. Narcissus uses jealousy as a very powerful emotion, in order to make you compete for his / her disposition, and therefore, such provocative statements as: “I wanted / wanted you to be like him / her”, or “He wants me to I returned to him - I don’t even know. what to do ”- used to make the victim feel potentially unnecessary, and cause jealousy.

Unlike a healthy relationship, where feelings of jealousy are discussed constructively and work with him in a productive manner - the narcissist will use flirtation and betrayal to the partner without the slightest hesitation. Love triangles - the method by which the daffodil keeps you under control - you are so busy trying to get the daffodil disposed so that you have no opportunity to pay attention to those disturbing signs that should alert you, or to think about how to break off the relationship.

V. Fake and Real Self

Narcissus hides the real "himself" behind the "outer armor" of the "fake self" - personal qualities that he demonstrates to the outside world in order to receive attention and admiration. It is because of this fake mask that it is almost impossible for you to fully realize the inhumanity and lack of compassion - which are so characteristic of daffodils - until the relationship has entered the phase of rejection. This makes it extremely difficult to identify who the daffodil really is - a sweet, charming, and seemingly - conscientious person who again “comes back” immediately after a surge of humiliating behavior on his / her part - or the monster who makes fun of, depreciates and constantly humiliating you? You have to deal with very strong cognitive dissonance - trying to reconcile two opposing images: the illusion that the narcissist inspired you at the very beginning of the relationship - and the painful behavior that he / she makes you put up with. To deal with cognitive dissonance, you will most likely blame his behavior on yourself, and you will try to “improve” yourself - while you are actually not guilty of anything - you will simply try to “save” that person, whom you "met at the very beginning of the relationship."

When the phase of rejection begins, the daffodil reveals its true “I” to you - and you see that monster that has been lurking inside it all this time. You can personally witness that cold, cruel indifference - when you are indifferently disposed of. This is the real appearance of the daffodil and its "inside."

The manipulative, immoral charm that existed at the very beginning of the relationship has now completely disappeared - instead, there is a sincere contempt that the daffodil has felt for you all this time. The daffodils are not at all able to sympathize with other people - therefore, during the phase of rejection, they feel absolutely nothing towards you - just the joy of using you. You were just another source of “narcissistic nourishment” - therefore, do not lie to yourself that those “magical” relationships that “existed” between you at the very beginning were real. It was just an illusion - just like the person with whom the daffodil tries to appear to everyone else - this is also nothing more than an illusion.

Narcissism is a serious personality dysfunction, which leads to personality disorder, expressed in exceptional narcissism. The term itself originates from the Greek myth of a young beautiful man, whose name was Narcissus, who rejected the love of the nymph Echo. As a result, he fell in love with his own reflection and eventually died of longing, because his reflection could not satisfy him.

Narcissism - Freud

Sigmund Freud argued that some narcissism was an integral part of every person, and was the first in psychology to apply this terminology.

Narcissism - Reasons

The cause of narcissism is an early assessment by parents of their affairs, and in the next life a person begins to evaluate himself. Having achieved success, there is a link to evaluate: I am good. And all subsequent life is set to achieve success. Among such personalities there are a lot of successful people.

Narcissism - Symptoms

Signs of narcissism are negatively colored doubts indicating vanity, selfishness, narcissism. Regarding the personality, they speak of a narcissistic accentuation of character. If we talk about belonging to a social group, then narcissism can mean elitism or a clear expression of indifference to the problems of other people. Communication with the daffodil causes cold and devastation. People with such a person are uncomfortable and they avoid him. But the narcissist loves to engage in narcissism amid them.

However, there are healthy signs of narcissism, which allow the person to remain successful and harmonious, have healthy ambitions, strive for success, enjoy it, receive satisfaction from the creative process and achieve good results. Such qualities should be made an internal life, a motto if you want to remain successful and harmonious.

The main signs of narcissism include instant devaluation and idealization. Interestingly, for the depreciation of the near arguments for the narcissus, no one is particularly required. Just like for idealization. Idealized by close contact is also not without flaws and instantly depreciates the daffodil. What do the daffodils do next - they seek another object of idealization and devalue it in the same way. Here is such a galloping drive.

Male narcissism

Men daffodils are trying to achieve significance for themselves and in the eyes of others.

Having achieved growth in a career and enriched financially, they satisfy their ambitions. But having reached the desired, joy lasts for five minutes and emptiness fills the soul. The desire of the daffodil grows and begins to want more. Up to 35 years of growing aspirations do not bother the daffodil; there are tasks that he slowly realizes, not seeing the point of suffering. And having reached the 35th summer milestone, they understand that there is no happiness. Such daffodils are not able to build relationships with people, while ruining family relationships, make children suffer from their emotions. And then they begin to understand that they want warmth and understanding. Some, not understanding who they are, begin to go to an appointment with a psychotherapist, while others continue the race further. Such signs of narcissism are often characteristic of men.

Female narcissism

Women are inherent in ambitiousness, difficulty in understanding their own child, the desire for the great, inability to appreciate simplicity and joy. A woman makes her child learn with zeal and meet her expectations, there is no warmth between them, and one bitterness in the relationship.

The mother subconsciously understands that there is no deep connection with the child and she feels guilty, but at the same time, apart from her will, she breaks down on the child.

Such a woman picks up a warm, caring man who will comfort her, stroke her, but she does not respect him, but considers him a rag.

If daffodils are a married couple, then a difficult struggle arises between them: who competes is steeper and faster. They compete in criticism, in causticity, and such relationships are short-lived.

Symptoms of Narcissism

Having understood the existence of a healthy and malignant, unhealthy narcissism, I want to note that the first likes to create and create, while the second suffers and criticizes the imperfection of the world. Such people will either be afraid to complete things, or will strive to do everything perfectly. The desire for perfectionism takes a lot of effort. For this reason, daffodils are able to achieve excellent results or turn into unrecognized geniuses lying on the couch.

Often a narcissistic child grows up with one of these parents. The child tries to meet expectations and shows good results. Narcissistic parents value only successes and achievements in their offspring. The child understands this and earns a positive result for an approving nod from his mother. Over time, the baby understands that I am when there are medals, victories, fives, and so I don’t and I just don’t interest anyone with my personality.

Narcissism - treatment

How to treat narcissism? Growing up, narcissistic personalities turn to psychotherapy, meditation, yoga, extreme sports (skydiving, bungee jumping, etc.) for help. People want to meet with themselves through sensations, through spiritual practices. Of course, this helps, because it makes it possible to understand who the "I" is. Everyone goes their own way.

Love relationships in the lives of such people are very complicated, dramatic and constantly changing one to the other.

The task of the daffodil is to recognize what is hidden in his shadow. And in the shadows hides the impossibility of recognizing oneself as a person with his everydayness and all simplicity. And the worst thing for them is not to be bad, but to be an average person or to be like everyone else.

A simple person lives an ordinary life, enjoys a simple one, the smile of his wife, children, sunrise, sunset, and in this case, achievements are not needed to feel sadness, joy, touching, regret. There are people who have a lot in life, but it wasn’t shivering and was not a super idea, and the narcissist works only for the result.

How to help the daffodil save his achievements? He understands something about himself, and to the end wonders why all this? What is your life spent on? And devalues \u200b\u200ball its achievements, but this is just a form of protection. First, the beloved girl is idealized, and then they quickly devalue her. The same thing happens with what they do. Why is this happening? A narcissist cannot consider himself valuable, this feeling was not laid after birth and the question of value is a definite assessment of achievements.

Therefore, daffodils cannot choose whether to be in a relationship or not. They simply cannot create them. In a couple, daffodils want to do something when they want, and not when they expect it from them. Knowing this, you can adjust family relationships, and not force the daffodil to fulfill your will.

How to get rid of narcissism?

In principle, daffodils are very successful people who have achieved heights in different types of activities. Outwardly, everything is very good with them, but so far they are at the peak of their dreams. The problem with the treatment of narcissism is that the narcissist will never ask for help because of the fear of a mismatch between the supposedly successful - I, the real empty I. And if the psychotherapist does appear to be a real narcissist, he will deliberately evade his problem of narcissism.

The doctor’s task is to establish the correct diagnosis of the patient and convey to the person that it is very important to always accept people without condemning and not using them, and to love them without idealizing them and, of course, to teach how to express your feelings without shame.

In this article, we will talk about how to escape from a relationship with a daffodil and how to survive while in such a relationship.

So, the first and most important thing that you need to develop in yourself, if you are in a relationship with a daffodil, which you can’t get away from for some reason, or you notice that you come across mostly narcissistically equipped men or women, this ability to defend one’s borders. What does it mean? This skill is very clear, clear, understandable, to know about their boundaries and be able to use them. I mean, the ability to remove a person when it is not needed, and bring it closer when you need it. Here, the skill must be pumped pumped at the level of "God". Of course, I'm joking a little bit, but this thing, however, needs to be pumped. Why? Because, as I said in previous articles, daffodils are people who strive to break the boundaries of another person. Get something from you, and then throw it away as a used toy. In order for this not to happen, you must advance to see this situation. You need to stop this by saying: “No, I can’t give it to you” or “no, I don’t want it”, “no, I want this”, or “no, I want to do as I want.” It is very important to maintain their integrity, to preserve their self, to preserve their desires, their environment and not go on about the daffodil. Especially if you notice that a person is telling you that he has no right to say anything, for example: he has no right to tell you about your appearance, how you should dress, how you should dye your hair, and so on. If he or she tells you: what to be interested in, what you want, what you don’t want, with whom you are friends, who you are not friends with, what interest clubs to go to, what to teach you, what to read, what to watch, you You have the right to suppress this and even more so - do not start to change it quickly. All that relates to ID, no one ever has the right to tell you what to do. All that you have from the inside that you really want. For example, I want to eat this food, I want to eat it, simply because I want, there is no reason why I want it. Or I want to wear a T-shirt, I do not want to wear a blouse. There is no reason why I want this, I just want it that way. And this is enough for the other person not to violate this border, this is your border. You have the right to wear whatever you want, eat, watch, read. In general, do what you want in life.

Another thing is that the difficulty here is that for that matter, then in any relationship a situation of intersection of interests, a conflict of interests may arise. For example, I want to watch this film, and you want to watch a completely different film, and we have one computer, or a TV. If we are talking about something like this, then this is a different situation. Here, a person does not tell you: do not watch this movie here or what you are doing nonsense, you are watching such nonsense that you wear it on yourself, you generally looked at yourself in the mirror - that’s different. This already applies to its borders.

You must feel - is it manipulating you to lower your self-esteem or is it your own interest, which you must also respect. Believe me, if you are sensitive to your borders, you will feel that the person says this because he wants the best for you, and he really wants to help you or he just wants to break your boundaries. Relatively speaking, he does it for his own sake or for your sake. Does he need you to wear the most beautiful dress in the world in order to look better next to you? Or, for example, you complain to a person that you are not hired, you have passed 25 interviews, and he says to you: “Listen, but try to put on a blouse and a long skirt, to the knee, instead of jeans” - here he takes care of you . You will immediately feel the difference if you have sensitivity to yourself and other people. It is felt for the sake of the person it does or for you. And when he comes to you himself and says, listen to what you put on these jeans, put on a dress, dress like a normal girl. These are already narcissistic manifestations, a person has no right to tell you this, simply because he wants to go to a restaurant with you and show off, look how good I am, I have such a girl. No, this is wrong. You must stop this, because if you don’t fit the person, how you dress, what you love, where you go, what you eat, then this person will not accept you, and will never accept you. He will break you, and he will try to do everything to break you. And when he breaks you, he will cease to respect. You just don’t need such a person

Because of what do people generally enter into relationships with daffodils? Often due to the fact that we are accustomed from childhood to be comfortable and accept any condemnation, change ourselves, change for someone else. This is not the right approach. In childhood, perhaps this was a way of survival, because if we had not changed ourselves for someone we would probably not have survived. Mom would be more offended at us, or we would simply not go through some stages of development. We had to step over ourselves and change somewhere, take offense less, cry less, because it was not socially acceptable or our mother simply did not approve. Okay, but now you are a grown man and you can distinguish white from black, bad from good. And to distinguish not even bad from good, remove these concepts: bad, good. The bad that gives you discomfort, the good that gives you pleasure. Only you yourself can be an indicator of "bad - good", bad and good. If you are good, you know yourself, which is good for you, then few can cross your borders. After I had a couple of episodes in my relationship with daffodils, I very clearly began to defend my borders. And you know, I even notice in advance, already at the first moments of my acquaintance, or when, for example, I’ve known each other for a long time, but then suddenly a person wanted to talk more closely - these people check, make a little test to see if it’s possible to break through your borders. And if they see what is possible, they move on. They already see in me that this is impossible. They can throw some kind of phrase, like: do you think it’s normal to be so smart for a girl? If I condemned myself for this, I would have already covered myself with spots, the red one would have begun to make excuses, and it would have been a bell that, about this girl can be broken. And if I don’t blame myself in this place, I accept myself for who I am, I say: yes, it’s normal for me, isn’t it normal for you or what? Of course it's not hard to admit when it comes to how smart you are, but there are things that are hard to admit ...

Here is a good case, for example, one of my clients was accused on the forum, not even like that in life, of being a freeloader and she started a discussion there, a very long dialogue, got very busy because of this, put a lot of energy into it. And there was a man who simply provoked her to this, most likely narcissistically equipped. But why was he still able to suck energy from her? Because she, firstly, also considered herself a freeloader, she was used to saving everywhere, saving there, somehow she was really stingy about money, and secondly, she couldn’t accept herself for who she is. Yes, I love saving money, but what is it? If she could accept herself such, then the person who would tell her that, she a freeloader would not receive any feedback, no energy in return. For example, she would have answered him there: well, yes, I’m looking for cheaper, but what’s wrong with that? And who is not looking? Everything, and a person would have ceased, would have faded away immediately! By the way, if you look at the daffodils, they cling and if they see that the blood does not flow, if you don’t give your energy, they fall off, as if sprinkled with their salt, this is real, check it out.

Daffodils also play very well in shame. Because they themselves are bashful, a very large part of the psyche of daffodils is arranged precisely because they were ashamed in early childhood, are ashamed now, ashamed of themselves, of their manifestations. And often this shame sits so deep that they no longer feel it, as a separate feeling, they simply merged with their shame and become one. They cannot answer the question: who am I? Because they are ashamed to even look at themselves, they were always condemned, all their lives, all their childhood. And so they play on the shame of other people. And the first reaction to them, even to me, to my colleagues, who have been pumped in terms of the ability to realize my feelings, is right here and now: the first reaction is to defend myself: "no, I'm not like that, etc." And this confusion, this is a bell for them that you can continue to use, in some way. Play on this wound, and pick it. And if you are confident in yourself: “yes, I'm so imperfect, okay. And what is it? ”That, they no longer go any further. Now, this is the first and most important thing, you need to be able to protect your borders, your interests, your desires ...

But what if you have already spun around in this circle - depreciation on his part and protection on your part? How to get out and what do you need for this? Of course, psychotherapy is an ideal option, if you get out of it, at least for an hour a week and start working on yourself. Also, a good option would be to find a friend, girlfriend, acquaintance, dig all your former acquaintances, you can even have long since school, if all of today's surroundings do not believe you that he is sadding you. But you will need to find at least one person who will believe you that he does not like you, that he is a domestic rapist, as they say. With whom you could plan a strategy and gradually, step by step, go towards the goal. Of course, this will take a lot of time, for some people it takes a year or two, for others more. Because it’s quite difficult to break this connection with the sadist, especially if you live together, have a common territory and generally have a lot in common. Of course, this is very difficult, but it is possible ... Enlist the support of someone from your loved ones, directly ask them for this support, tell everything inside out, your feelings, feelings. In the end, someone will believe you, and you can slowly come off. And most importantly, to protect their borders, not to let them play on their feelings of guilt, shame and fear. These are the three feelings that can be manipulated.

By the way, it is not necessary to break off relations with the daffodil. Sometimes it’s enough to start by learning to value yourself, each time he / she has to talk about it, and the behavior of the daffodil towards you will begin to change.

Do not let the daffodils manipulate, this is the most important thing. Everything else is already following! Accept that you are who you are, beautiful in itself and all your desires, interests and habits, they are good. Love yourself first and foremost, as you are and show it to a daffodil. Show that you will not change, just because he believes that life should be somehow different. Because it’s from the category “mom, mom make the sky green”. You will dress as you want, there is what you want, watch what you want, live how you want, work where you want and communicate with whoever you want. You have a right to it!

Narcissuses are called narcissistic people. In modern psychology and psychiatry, narcissism is seen as personality dysfunction or personality disorder. The word "narcissus" refers to people who are selfish, self-centered, arrogant, indifferent to the problems of other people. In addition, narcissism is a sexual deviation directed at oneself.

People suffering from narcissism constantly need praise and admiration for them. Those. narcissism syndrome is an abnormal love of oneself. But this does not mean the narcissus’s self-confidence. Behind all this lies a sense of insecurity and helplessness.

Individual signs of narcissism can be: excessive sensitivity to resentment, defeat, or criticism. The response can be expressed in rage, shame, or humiliation; confidence that others are jealous of the daffodil; the expectation that others are required to agree with the opinion or desire of the daffodil; confidence in one's own characteristics; own fantasies about his power, beauty, mind, and more.

Most psychological problems arise in childhood. The reason for this may be the excessive result of praising the child or, conversely, ignoring him. Also, the result of narcissism can be violence or trauma received in childhood from parents or other psychologically important persons.

Such diseases are treated by psychiatrists or psychologists. Doctors use methods to help determine if a person has a personality disorder. But there is no definite answer to the question of how to get rid of narcissism. All patients rarely recognize that they need help and even less often want to accept it.

In case of narcissistic personality disorder, psychotherapy helps well. Here patients learn to respond to surrounding people in a positive way. Psychotherapeutic counseling helps narcissistic sufferers look deeper at their problems. Such therapy is aimed at the emergence of real self-esteem and real expectations from others. Therapy may be interrupted several times, as the patient may become very irritated with himself and his therapist.

When treating a patient with narcissism, the therapist must show his patient that he is the most ordinary person who has the right to make mistakes and should not suffer remorse. The therapist must be extremely attentive to his patient, so as not to cause him feelings of shame. This is a typical reaction in situations where the daffodil sees a threat to his self. In this case, the patient may refuse the further course of therapy and not tell the painful truth about himself to his doctor. If in such situations the therapist behaves tactfully, then the patient sees a new model of human relations.

There is no cure for narcissism. Medicines can be prescribed only with concomitant psychological problems or the treatment of the negative effects of stress on the body.

The main tasks in the treatment of narcissistic personality disorder: bridging the gap with reality; the need to go through the painful facets of your self; the need to discover your own real Self. If the therapy was successful, then the patient leaves the isolation created by himself, the ability to perceive the emotions of other people and love appears.

How to behave to the former victim of the perverse daffodil, if he pursues her.

TheSolution psychologist answer:

Very often, awareness of their situation to the victim of the narcissus comes already when her resources for resistance are significantly depleted. A complete breakdown of relations is necessary, sometimes up to a change of residence or work. It should be prepared that after a breakdown, the daffodils can continue to pursue and revenge openly or stealthily, very sophisticatedly, hiding threats, making hints that hurt the victim’s personality.

In counteracting the perverse daffodil, one should overcome the temptation to fight by his own methods.

Daffodils are much more sophisticated and unprincipled than any other person. In the sophistication of revenge and the ability to poison the life of the victim, the daffodil far surpasses dissocial (socially adapted) psychopaths, as it is quite patient and capable of long-term efforts.

In no case should the victim make excuses.

Excuses and humility confirm the opinion of the daffodil about the victim, who "asked for it herself," that is, needs to be humiliated. Offensive actions are needed, active resistance, it is important to overcome your fear of an open conflict. Often the victim simply needs to become aggressive in order to be able to overcome the connection with the daffodil. In this case, it is worth thinking more about your own good, and not about the opinions of others. Since only a couple of narcissus victims have a full vision of the picture of violence, and from the side of those around them, the relationship can look perfect.
Sometimes, in order to protect oneself and stop the persecution, it is necessary to collect evidence of the persecution. Any documents that record insults and the search for witnesses are important here. Nothing can be taken on faith, it is necessary to record calls with threats, look for witnesses who seem to be random meetings. The moment of evidence of the unlawful actions of the daffodil is significant, even if you are not going to contact the police later.

Victim needs support

Confrontation with the daffodil takes a lot of energy. The victim needs the support of those people who fully understand the destructiveness of the daffodil, or people who have experienced a similar relationship with daffodils. Not very close people are not able to provide such support, as often they observe only positive manifestations of relations and cannot see the hell that is happening in reality, which means they occupy the side of the daffodil. Some friends, under the influence of manipulations and lies, try to play the role of conciliators or even blame the victim.

It is important to heal the personality damage of the victim who inflicted a relationship with the daffodil

The victim needs to work with his own personality, especially with emotions of guilt and shame, since the daffodils manipulate precisely these feelings. It is necessary to build your own psychological boundaries, to learn to maintain a balance in the relationship between what is given and obtained. It is always important to remember that daffodils project their own negative traits, sacrificing them even more hypertrophically, therefore, they hate themselves in another person. Thus, it must be understood that the traits that the narcissus hates and which arouse guilt in the victim are precisely the traits of the narcissus. That is, the victim herself has nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, awareness of this fact takes a long time and often requires outside help.
It is worth learning to be aware of your anger, to distinguish your own feelings from the projections of the daffodil, to regain confidence in yourself, to give up feelings of guilt and excessive responsibility, as well as the shame that arose as a result of communication with the daffodil. In order to restore the internal resources of the personality, to regain peace of mind, it is worth turning to an experienced psychotherapist.

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16 thoughts on “ How to behave the victim of a daffodil?”

Irina
Hello. Not so long ago I left the relationship with the perverse daffodil. Describe for a long time. New complexes appeared, health shook. It's hard for me to explain what happened. I understand that not everyone will understand this. The picture for people from outside was perfect. And I have nervous breakdowns one by one, always day and night in tension. Now I read literature. Maybe you have someone to turn to? I live in Chicago myself. Parents in the Crimea. I'm afraid to scare my mother - to what extent sometimes it all came to an end. Up to assault including.
Thank you so much.
- Galya
  Hello. I also live in Chicago. Write me a mail please. My husband is a daffodil. Need advice.
OlhaRA
- Olga
- Lana
- Steva
- mialapa
  i would also like to know how you manage to do this, share it with me please, otherwise you can’t relax and enjoy such an exhausting relationship. Thank!))
- OlhaRA
  It is necessary to refocus on yourself. Do yoga, running, swimming, other sports, art than you can. There are techniques for installing walls and mirrors in dealing with psychopaths of this type. When he tells you something or tries to manipulate, put a mirror or slowly build a brick step in your imagination. It is important for him to get your momentum. You play the theater, as if there is a reaction, but in fact there should be no reaction. You should not care. Play the victim’s theater, but don’t be.