How to find the meaning of life, if you do not want anything - advice from a psychologist. How to regain interest in life: advice from a psychologist

Each person has his own meaning of life. His search is traditionally defined as a spiritual and philosophical problem, the essence of which tends to determine the purpose of the existence of each of us. If you think more globally, then to the destination of all mankind. It is important. And if life has lost its meaning, then something worse is unlikely to happen.

About the problem

This usually happens during depression. Although most often it is the loss of the meaning of life that causes this condition. During which I do not want anything. The person is depressed, he does not feel joy, does not show interest in anything, constantly feels tired. His speeches are pessimistic, he does not want and cannot concentrate, sometimes he thinks about death or suicide, he constantly sleeps or does not do it at all. And most importantly - a sense of worthlessness, accompanied by a feeling of fear, anxiety and even guilt.

Life has lost its meaning ... How much pain is in this phrase. And what is this problem related to? With a lack of what a person needs the most. For some, this is a job and an opportunity to make a dizzying career. For others - a loved one, spending time together, tender feelings and passion. For the rest - a family with a bunch of children. For someone else, the meaning of life is immense wealth. For others, the opportunity to travel and grow. There can be countless examples. But it all comes down to one simple truth. Luckily. Yes, this is the meaning of life - to be happy. Or, as they say, to be in a state of complete satisfaction with the conditions of their existence and being. That is the meaning of life. This phenomenon, by the way, is actively studied by occultism, theology, psychology and philosophy.

Eternal search

It’s a paradox, but many people understand that life lost its meaning during ... attempts to find it. Such cases are not uncommon. Indeed, people who constantly think about the meaning of life are the most unhappy. They are actively trying to know their desires, their own character and themselves. And many are not satisfied with the notorious answer to the eternal question, which assures that the meaning is happiness.

And then a person tries to find him in esoteric, philosophical and religious teachings, which, of course, do not give a clear answer to this question. Therefore, a person begins to look for him in music, literature, lyrics and even the natural sciences.

And in the vast majority of cases, disappointment comes to him. He, it seems, has everything he needs for a full life - work, close people, friends, soulmate, a good salary. But that no longer makes sense. Because the person was sure: everything is perishable. And slowly, but surely, he loses interest in everything. He begins to experience headaches, struggles with insomnia, experiences chronic fatigue. And it’s very difficult to live like that. Attempts to distract begin. In the best cases, a person is interested in computer games. At worst, it is buried in alcohol and drugs. The worst consequence is suicide. In general, the real depression.

What to do?

If life has lost its meaning, then to do it For the first time, a turning point, so to speak, it is permissible. But then you need to act. Either yourself, or from the filing of someone close and partial. Many turn to psychologists. Of course, there are effective tips. But a universal recommendation that equally helps everyone does not exist.

So what if you lost the meaning of life? Start looking for answers. For starters, it’s important to determine what’s going on. After all, the essence lies not just in a bad mood, parting with a loved one or accumulated fatigue. The loss of the meaning of life cannot be compared with any sadness.

And you also need to remember that desires govern us all. And they must be satisfied. What could be worse than the lack of what is desired? If you do not satisfy your own spiritual needs - do not escape unhappiness. And the void that needs to be filled. To begin to gradually get rid of hatred for yourself and your body, others and the world as a whole, you need to remember what a person always wanted. Suppose, as an example, this is a trip to the sunny Dominican Republic, to the gentle sea. Through power, you need to re-ignite this desire. Start planning a trip, picking things up, picking up a hotel. There is a saying: "Appetite comes with eating." And in this case, too. The person will be inspired in the process. And the result will be the satisfaction of his main desire, which entails a sense of realization, self-sufficiency and enjoyment.

Analysis

Everyone knows that this is a research method in which the studied object is divided into separate parts for its better understanding. Analysis is not just about mathematics, programming, and medicine. But also to the topic under discussion. What to do if you have lost the meaning of life? To analyze the current situation.

You need to evaluate your actions and identify errors. Nothing just happens. And the reason why a person is on the verge also has roots. But the most important thing is that in no case should you blame yourself. Everything has already happened. What happened is gone. And now we need to find out why it all happened in order not to repeat our mistakes in the future.

It is very important not to feel sorry. This is a bad feeling that once again depresses a person. He must accept the moment as it is. And even in the most terrible, wild situation, try to find the pros. At least in the fact that life goes on. And in the long run there is a chance to succeed.

And even if a person has an incredibly difficult life, a story about which can cause tears for the most callous person in the Universe, you do not need to feel sorry for yourself for a long time. Yes, everything collapsed. Already the bottom, nowhere to fall further. Therefore, you need to rise. With difficulty, through pain and torment. The realization that the perception of everything around is only a matter of tuning may help. Yes, it’s easier to reason than to worry, but the person himself will come to this conclusion when he gets out of a deplorable state.

Outburst of emotions

If a person is overcome by the question “Why do I live?”, Then it's time to get a beautiful clean notebook with a pen and turn it into a diary. This is a very powerful technique. And do not underestimate it.

“And what should I write in it?” - languidly, but with a degree of skepticism will ask a man mired in depression. And the answer is simple - that's it. Absolutely anything. Thoughts can begin with any phrases and expressions - you do not need to structure and organize them, because this is not an essay. Diary is a way to throw out your emotions. As a rule, a person who constantly asks himself the question “Why am I living?” Does not want to make contact with anyone. And emotions accumulate. So it’s better to reflect them on paper. Over time, this will become a habit. And then a person will notice that in his head, like on paper, there is no longer such a confusion, which was observed at the very beginning.

And then in the diary it will be possible to start celebrating the results of your work on yourself. Is anyone bothering to outline a small plan for the future?

By the way, when you feel better, you need to find something to your liking. No wonder they say that a person is alive while he is interested in living. You need to find a hobby that would not only bring pleasure, but also inspire at least minimal optimism and joy. Maybe start raising parrots? This will be a great idea, because everyone knows that our smaller brothers give unlimited positive, joy and help pass life's tests. After all, they infinitely love their master. And love gives us strength.

Who needs to live for?

People, falling into impotence and tired of looking for the reasons why they were on the verge, begin to ask this question. Search for a reason from the outside, so to speak. Some through force begin to live for a loved one, parents, beloved pet or children. Maybe it helps. But the key phrase here is “through power”. Because the problem that touched a person directly and most directly, remains unresolved.

You need to live for yourself. Selfish? Not at all. And even if so, there is nothing wrong with healthy, productive egoism. You need to stop thinking about what you can do for others. And finally, put yourself in first place.

By the way, often the reason lies precisely in this. The fact that a person never lived for himself. He did as usual. He did what needed to be done. I tried to meet the expectations of my parents or boss. I tried to comply with generally accepted standards, so that "everything is like people". Although deep down I wanted a completely different. And awareness of this usually comes at a time when he is standing on the edge. But do not despair. We must remember that there is enough time for everything that you really want to catch. This is true. Because desires always subjugate time. And you do not need to wait - you need to start their implementation immediately. And then questions about why life has lost its meaning will recede into the background.

Forget about everything

This is another effective method. He is able to help. Anyone - be it a man drowning in depression, or a woman who has lost meaning in life. The advice of a psychologist is this: you need to take away the past from yourself. Forget him. Erase from memory forever. The past often pulls a person down, like a stone to the bottom of a river, attached to the foot of a drowned man.

You need to burn all the bridges. Break contacts with unpleasant people with whom a person was forced to communicate. Quit hating work. Oppressed by the boss? So you can finally and express in his eyes everything that has accumulated in the soul. Divorce from the legitimate "soulmate", to establish a life with which there is no longer any chance. To move from a boring and hated city to another place. In general, we are talking about the beginning of a truly new life. The one that everyone loves to talk about today.

And this is the most important thing: with the completion of each action, a person must pass through himself the realization that he is becoming a new person. Not what he was. You can even fix this with visualization - change the appearance (haircut, hair color and contact lenses, image, tan, etc.). All this may be taken lightly by some. But, again, it only seems so from the outside. After completing all of the above, a person will look around, look at himself in the mirror, and understand - he is already different. And he has no right to return to the old life.

Break

When thoughts like “What am I doing?” And “What am I doing with my life?” Begin to appear in a person’s head, it’s time to pause. Long preferably. In order not to completely wallow in despondency and not to fall into a real depression, we must urgently take a vacation, rent a house by the lake or in the forest and go there. A sharp change of scenery and unity with nature saved a considerable number of people.

What after? Then you will need to give yourself answers to the notorious questions “What am I doing?” And “What am I doing with my life?”. To realize what exactly causes discomfort. Why exactly is there discontent and when did these questions, in fact, arise. And after that - find a solution to the problems. Maybe find a new meaning in life. As a rule, people who have taken a break in time and figured out the oppression that has begun to accumulate do not reach the edge and do not fall into deep depression.

By the way, a break is not complete without planning for the near future and setting goals. They, like the meaning of life, should be in every normal person who wants to be an accomplished person. The goals do not have to be global (buy a villa in Spain, transfer from Lada to Mercedes, engage in investment business, etc.). They should be feasible. And those for which I would like to wake up in the morning. It is desirable that the goals are long-term. Three is enough. It is better to write them in the notorious diary. It may look like this: “Goal number 1: save up for a year on vacation in Greece. No. 2: do a 5-minute exercise every morning. Number 3: Pull up English to conversational level. " Goals should motivate and tune in to positive life changes. This is the main principle of their formulation.

Help neighbor

It is not easy for a person on the edge. But the depressed state experienced by him also affects people close to him, who begin to think: who has lost the meaning of life?

That's a very difficult question. There is no universal answer. It all depends on individual psychological characteristics. What will help one is not able to get the other out of depression.

One thing is certain. The one who knows him well has a chance to help a person. A person who is well acquainted with the specific features of his loved one can roughly guess what actions should be taken to make it easier. The main thing is to avoid standards that usually show nothing but indifference, even if a person really wanted to help. These are phrases such as “Everything will be fine,” “Don’t worry, life will improve,” “Just forget it!” Etc. You need to forget about them. A person is faced with a problem: the meaning of life is lost. There is no question of any “Just Forget!”

So, you can quietly turn on his favorite music or series, bring his favorite food and drinks, start talking about the most interesting topic for him. Trivia? Perhaps, but they will at least help to restore a person’s taste of life.

The technique of the last day of life

This is the last thing I would like to talk about. When a person is depressed and no longer sees the point in his existence, it will not hurt him to think: what if this day of life were the last? The thought of the imminent disappearance of all reality will invigorate everyone. Of course, when a person is alive and well, he has enough time for depression, sadness and gloom. It sounds exaggerated, but it is. But if he thinks that he has only 24 hours left - everything takes on a different meaning, not to mention the fact that there is a rethinking of values.

And when there is no desire to exist, it is worth using this technique. Live the current day like the last. Perhaps after this, the desire to exist will reignite.

Losing the meaning of life is the worst thing that can happen. And it would be better if no one went through this. But in any case, the most important thing is to hope for the best at heart. And act. After all, as the great American writer Jack London said: "One life is given to man. So why not live it properly?"

I looked at my friend and closed my eyes. "God, what nonsense is this man ... Signs of depression, pills, some incomprehensible specialist ... Does he even take me for anyone?"

Decrease in self-esteem, feeling of despair, anxiety, constant fatigue.
A complete loss of interest in everything that used to bring pleasure, lethargy, apathy.
The desire to limit yourself from contacts with people around you, the desire to "lock yourself in four walls."
The emergence of cravings for alcohol and drugs.
Fixation on the negative sides of life, a sense of worthlessness and uselessness, suicidal thoughts.
Violation of sleep and wakefulness, insomnia, loss of interest in sexual life.

“Go to a specialist. I know one good thing. He will prescribe pills for you and feel better! ”- My friend advised, patting me on the shoulder.

I looked at my friend and closed my eyes. "God, what nonsense is this man ... Signs of depression, pills, some incomprehensible specialist ... Does he even take me for anyone?"

For some reason, modern society is designed so that if you are suddenly dissatisfied with the reality surrounding you, then you are probably infinitely sick. After all, everything is so wonderful around! No wars, no famines. Everyone works, buy expensive cars, use smart phones. They strive for something, they run somewhere. They graduate from universities, climb up the career ladder. They live, eat, sleep. And if you think that all of them are a dumb herd, striving for some false values \u200b\u200bdictated to you from a zombie, then you are probably completely ass. Or crazy. And you definitely need to go to the brainwave, so that your wrong brains will finally be corrected for you. Swallow the wheel and rejoice with everyone like a fool. And do not spoil everyone else's mood with your dull physiognomy and your dull mood.

All that remains is to lock yourself in places where annoying little people with intrusive advice cannot reach you. “You have signs of latent depression!” This must be said. Wherever you spit, everywhere psychologists and philosophers who know more than you how to live right. For example, you live incorrectly because you settled in like a stump at home and ask too many unnecessary questions: why, why.

But really ... Why? What is the meaning of all this incomprehensible running around, fuss, noise? Home - work - home - work. Is all this called life?

I have absolutely nothing to strive for, because I do not feel any desires, no joy from those things for which the majority prays. They tell me: “And you try!” But I give up immediately at the start, because I see no reason to start. I’m probably really some kind of crazy. Excess. Hopeless.

And if these are signs of deep depression, then this same depression lasts for me all my life. Starting from the mother, whose favorite phrase is: “I wish I had an abortion!” Indeed, I would have done better. I did not ask me to give birth to this world where no one needs me - even my own parents, who consider me to be the most important mistake of their whole life.

Man comes to this world alone. And leaves him just as lonely. What is our life compared to eternity? What does my life mean in this world? What is the difference between the universe and whether I exist or not? Probably, if someone is up there - some bearded goddess, then he obviously laughed a lot when he created me in his own image. A tree is known by its fruits. And if I am the fruit of a tree called God, then ... God is probably very, very stupid and a failure. Actually, who else could have created this unfinished world, completely devoid of meaning? It was as if a child had molded a whole city from plasticine, but forgot to put it in a box. So plasticine little men live, thinking that they fulfill some special purpose. And he (this purpose) never existed. They are just rubbish, biomass. Dumb, thoughtless.

And if this biomass knew what it was like to feel like the only intelligent creature in a big crazy house, they would once and for all be behind me with their attempts to “treat” me and look for the first signs of depression, with their eternal desire to get me out of the shell, "Make a normal person", such as everyone. Cheerful, cheerful, full of aspirations and desires.

It got to the point that one very smart aunt said that all my signs of severe depression are congenital. That I am so sad because my body does not produce the necessary hormones of joy. Therefore, I am destined to suffer. Or to live all my life on pills that help the body make up for the lack of that same hormone. Only here I did not feel happiness from such "wheels". Only a feeling of dullness and emptiness. If this is happiness, then I’d better sit quietly depressed.

I feel bad. I really feel bad. I want silence, I want to fall asleep and no longer wake up. So that in the end some meteorite would fall to the Earth and this unbearable human hive would calm down and freeze.

And if you, the person who reads this, feel the same way, then ... now look with all your eyes and listen with all your ears.

Since my friend puzzled me for signs of depression, a lot of time has passed. I thought a lot, searched a lot, bumped my forehead against the walls, passed all kinds of tests to determine the signs of depression, even went to that very “specialist”, but to no avail. As I said, these brains can advise nothing better than “pills” ... And, yes, I forgot - “Chat with people more often, try to record joyful events for the day, get creative ...” In a word, that same crap and water that I'm sure you heard more than once. And then ... I guess I was really very lucky. The universe finally heard me and sent an answer. As .

Of course, I had no hopes. We can say that by that time I was completely desperate. But curiosity prevailed. And that was the most correct decision of my whole life.

Over time, I realized that I was not worthless and unnecessary and that I was not at all doomed by my birth to suffering. That existence has a meaning ... Every existence has it! It is another matter how accurately and penetratingly Yuri Burlan was able to convey all the nuances of my states - as if he himself felt all this. At that moment I thought: “God, this man is retelling my whole life!”

Each person has a special mentality. For example, people like me - those for whom the question of the meaning of being and existence is particularly acute - are called the owners of the sound vector. The goal of a person is to cognize the metaphysical world, to unravel how this life is structured, to understand oneself through the rest and others through oneself. And if we do not find answers to questions that concern us, do not satisfy our desires, voids and black holes grow inside us. Then all these signs of prolonged depression appear, a sense of the meaninglessness of being and a desire to die right now.

I was not born to suffer, but I was tormented because I could not fulfill my specific role, could not find the answers to all my innumerable questions. And there was nobody to help me. And desires grew, accumulated and exhausted me, then insomnia, then suicidal thoughts, then apathy. And the more I sank into myself and my states, the worse and worse I got. Do you know why?

Because there are no answers inside. Inside there are only gaping voids and darkness. In order to get rid of the bad conditions that people with a light hand call signs of depression, you need to “go outside”, notice other people and learn to understand them. Find your place, not behind a locked door, but in society. “But how to find all this? How to understand? you ask irritably. “What a vicious circle?”

The circle is really closed, if you do not know where to look for answers. With the training "System-Vector Psychology", a picture of the world finally developed from my millions of the smallest puzzles into a coherent and understandable system. And I am one of these irreplaceable pieces, which finally found its place. It's too hard to explain on the go, on the fingers. You need to hear it with your own ears, pass through yourself, check on your life. And everything will surely fall into place.

I seriously thought this was the end. That sooner or later I’ll just cigan out the window or turn up in the loop. But it turned out that this is the beginning. The beginning of a long and meaningful life, filled with new colors, sounds, joy, in the end. Joy from knowledge and awareness, from opening doors and revealing secrets.

How does this happen? One understanding that you are a sound player changes everything in principle. The world is turning upside down, and thoughts are already moving in a completely different direction. I don’t feel like drowning myself anymore, trying not to think, because there are no answers to internal questions. You start exactly what you think, try to concentrate, many questions arise in your head. It is clearly seen that not all the sound men around, but how do they differ?

What is material and what is hidden? Sound ideas rule the world. Systemic vector psychology is the best food for any lost sound player. And there are no others in the modern world, whether we realize it or not.

Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova

The article is based on the training " Systemic Vector Psychology»

Question to the psychologist

Hello! I am 23 years old, I live with my mother, I have never been married, no children. For several years now I have been thinking about suicide, and I plan it in detail. I certainly won’t do this while my mother is alive, it would be too selfish, but it's nice to think about it. It cannot be said that the reason for these thoughts would be a strong mental pain, rather, the reason is that I feel almost nothing and do not see the point in life. Probably nothing has happened in my life for a long time, every day the same house - work-home. But even then, when I forced myself to do something, everything all the same ends at home watching TV shows, and nothing interests me. I would just like to fall asleep and never wake up. I used to be more optimistic and thought that you can always change the situation for the better, but in fact everything is the same as it was a few years ago, so I have everything, everything changes in a circle, people get married, have children, and I also watch TV shows. .. Tell me how can I find the meaning of life?

Victoria, The truth of life is that the meaning of life cannot be found - you can only create it yourself. I highly recommend you read Victor Frankl's book, Man in Search of Meaning. Frankl is a great man worthy of admiration. During World War II, he, a Jew of nationality, together with his whole family ended up in a German camp. The Germans killed him almost the whole family, people died around him every day, but even in these monstrous conditions he could remain a man, the purpose of his life was to help others, it was there that the direction of psychology “logotherapy” (the therapy of the meaning of life) originated. Indeed, you are right, if you spend all your free time near the TV screen, life will lose all meaning. Almost all people who are engaged in self-development do not watch TV at all (this phenomenon is called a media post). Sitting at home and watching TV is the safest thing to do, you do not need to go out into the world and prove yourself. I think that you should work with your self-esteem, self-love, respect. Suicide is an extreme manifestation of retroflection (when a person experiences aggression on an external object, but since it is unsafe to aggression in the world, he subconsciously redirects it to himself). Think about who could be such an aggressor in your life. One thing is for sure, you do not want to die. People who choose death do not write letters asking for help. Find a psychologist Victoria and he will help you understand yourself, I assure you that the result can greatly surprise you, good luck! Good answer3 Bad answer2

Hello, Victoria. The meaning of life begins with the adoption of oneself beloved and adored. Then there is a willpower and initiative to finally remember what your skills, inclinations, talents are, to begin to realize them and enjoy it. Then there will be no time for TV shows look. You will be driven by excitement and energy of life. And victories will develop self-esteem. Unfortunately, your harsh childhood did not allow you to develop these qualities, and you forgot about them. Everyone you look at, these qualities work. And you while they sleep, wake them up and start worry about yourself, beloved. If it does not work out, contact, I will help.

Good answer7 Bad answer0

Every person is born on earth with a specific purpose. It can be grandiose and associated with a very important scientific discovery for mankind, or determined by the birth and upbringing of children. Whatever the purpose of man, he is always interested in how to find the meaning of life? The significance of this issue can hardly be overestimated, since movement along an alien path will lead to a feeling of emptiness and cause an unwillingness to live, and to resist everyday adversities.

How to find the purpose and meaning of life

Despite the fact that determining the meaning of life and your place in life is not so simple, the game is worth the candle, because in the end a person will not only find a job to his liking, but will also become more and more perfect in it. At the same time, he passionately wants to live, love and be happy.

When searching for yourself, you should not rely on reason, but rather turn to your feelings, because only they can tell us the right way, because only the soul is aware of the purpose of our birth.

A disappointed person who finds himself in a dead end should stop and postpone the achievement of his goal for a while, and simply listen to himself and begin work on developing his own sensitivity. The result of the classes will certainly affect after some time, if you regularly and patiently follow these recommendations:

To find the meaning of life, waking up in the morning, the first thing a person needs to ask himself is what he wants? Then carefully listening to your feelings, try to understand your desires.

Do not be upset if in the first days of communication with oneself, a person does not receive any information about his desires. This is due to the fact that such a human quality as sensitivity atrophies if it is not used for a long time. With a little training, you can learn to understand your desires, without experiencing any difficulties.

Do not be afraid of the novelty that desires bring into human life, and, obeying them, you can try yourself in completely unknown areas of activity, for example, learn to knit, or paint a landscape.

Now, knowing the solution to a difficult problem, consisting in how to find the meaning of life, you can safely begin to search for yourself. Even small training sessions, which will take only a few minutes, can bring quick and significant results on the difficult and necessary path of self-knowledge.

The problem of finding the meaning of life

“Recently, a son (he is 16 years old) began to often ask questions on the topic“ what is the meaning of life ”. He asks: “Why do we live, why do people live, why were we born?”

I get lost and don’t know how to explain it all to him, I’d like to figure it out myself ... The problem is that more than six months ago his dad left us. He moved to live with his mother, he is her only one, and she just recently moved to our city. Now the husband lives there, legally meets his beloved, plans to formalize a divorce legally.

This is another problem, although they are all tied into one ball. Father sees his son weekly, and comes on weekends. They talk a little: they talk, he gives some advice, answers questions. But not enough, in my opinion. Well, these are, apparently, needs, I accept as a fact.

Well, at least it is. We are supported financially: to the father, the father buys either clothes or something else. In the week, as a rule, they do not call up. The son has friends, friends, there is the first hobby (without reciprocity). School performance is average.

The difficulty is that until recently, I too took care of my son, I realized my mistake late, the child has already grown. By the way, this is the root of the problems with my husband, it’s clear, like God’s day, I gradually took care of him more and more year after year. And it seemed to suit him ... And the logical ending came, and the reason, too, became visible late.

Now, according to the situation, for myself I set goals in life, including the main one - the son should see a happy, independent, successful mother - a person, not a tormented, miserable creature. Yes, I have a very difficult time. Almost a lot has to start to rebuild. But you have to live. You need to find the meaning of life.

Gradually remove pressure on my son. He became more independent, responsible for these six months. Of course, it’s too late, it would be earlier ... Maybe that's why questions about the meaning of life? And how to answer these questions of the son? To all my arguments about a career, about the pursuit of happiness, about taking a worthy place in life (he agrees with this), he answers: “And then what, well, finally, I will achieve, and for what? What is the meaning of life? ”Maybe follow it a little, so that by chance does not become any drug addict?

Larisa Koleichik ".

To the question: what is the meaning of life answered, psychologist Elena Poryvaeva:

Most likely, you have already formulated your own life goals, but you still haven’t accepted them internally. And all the words about these goals may still sound a little false. Therefore, start with the fact that you yourself finally understand your sense of life ...

Then - if you really remove the pressure on your son - why should you look for the meaning of his life for him? This is really a purely individual thing. Let him decide what the meaning of life is. And “following” for some reason the son is also part of the directive guardianship: and if you monitor the children too much, they are more likely to go into the same drugs from this surveillance ...

“Now I have a difficult moment in my life, alienation with an adult married daughter, jealousy for her husband’s parents. After analyzing my life, I came to the conclusion that I was a bad mother, unconsciously trying to manipulate my children, believing that I care about them. I understood that, but what to do next?

Help, because the relationship with an adult married daughter went wrong, and I can’t live like that, I don’t see the point. To look for a new meaning of life, for this there is no strength, no desire, no faith, only pain and emptiness. Before the marriage of the daughter, it seemed that we had good relations with children, understanding, closeness; this is even harder, but where is the solution?

Elena Potato. "

The psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers the question: how to find the meaning of life:

Let's start with the main thing. You ask for help, but in fact, do not specify what? “Living like this” doesn’t see the point, but looking for a new meaning in life doesn’t have the strength and desire ... However, it is encouraging that you write “not yet”. But while this “bye” is working, I'm sorry for the tautology - I’m afraid no specialist can help you from the outside with the “new meaning of your life”.

Well-known psychotherapist Victor Frankl said that "the meaning of life cannot be given, it is sought by the man himself." Thus, it turns out that until “there is a desire and strength” to search for this meaning of life, there will be no meaning from the outside: everything proposed to you with a very high probability will seem to you to be “imposed” and will be rejected by you.

Imagine, let’s say, this situation: someone will advise you to “take care of your personal life, enter a sewing and dressing club, get a dog ...” What do you answer to such people? By the way, the same dog and even “personal life” may well be steps to solving the problem, but not the first.

Anhedonia is a real scourge of our time!

In ancient Greece, there were two philosophical schools that put on a pedestal pleasure, pleasure and lack of suffering: hedonism and epicureanism. However, in our time, most people are subject to the opposite state: there is no joy in life. What is anhedonia and how to deal with it? How to return emotions?

Anhedonia is a specific depletion of the emotional sphere, characterized by a loss of a sense of joy, a lack of pleasure from favorite things, and a decrease in motivation to receive positive emotions. A person with this diagnosis does not have good and bad days, they are all equally gray, dull, joyless.

Most often, this diagnosis is made by unsuccessful and unsociable people. It turns out to be a kind of vicious circle: failure provokes a sense of inferiority, self-doubt, a person restricts contacts with others (personal or work), fearing once again to fail, but because of this he does not gain new experience, does not grow, does not develop. Faced again with a similar situation, he repeats previous mistakes.

Symptoms of the disease

Loss of interest in life;
Lack of aspirations, desires and ambitions;
Memory selectivity: often memories of pleasant moments fade or become dull, while failures constantly pop up in memory;
Lethargy, apathy, fatigue;
Self-doubt, a sense of inferiority and inferiority;
Closure, difficulties in maintaining social ties with other people;
Lack of emotional response: a person is not happy with daily trifles (delicious food, beautiful sunset) and significant events (promotion, going to a concert of your favorite band);
The loss of interest in hobbies and hobbies that previously brought pleasure;
Decreased sexual desire.

Classification of Anhedonia

Anhedonia is the inability to have fun. Today, the following forms of this disease are distinguished:

Social anhedonia is characterized by isolation, lack of desire to please people, pleasure from social contacts, desire to achieve career success;
Physical - manifests itself in a decrease in the positive perception of stimuli that are associated with the sensory organs (beautiful color, mouth-watering smell, pleasant tactile sensations, etc.), joy from relaxation;
The intellectual and aesthetic form implies a loss of need for new knowledge, a lack of joy during the contemplation of something beautiful, a loss of pleasure while reading books, listening to music, loss of interest in a hobby;
The somnic form was put into use in 2017 after the publication of a scientific article by a domestic scientist - V.D. Mendelevich. She is diagnosed if there is no pleasure from the sleep process;
Sexual and orgasmic anhedonia can be manifested by a decrease in libido, lack of pleasure during intercourse or orgasm (in the presence of its physiological signs).

The disease happens:

Partial, that is, affecting one or more aspects of the patient's life. For example, the patient does not manage to experience pleasure during sex or watching a good movie, but he enjoys meeting with friends;
Total: covering the full range of positive emotions. In this case, the patient will be diagnosed with manifestations of all 5 forms of anhedonia, as well as an additional serious mental deviation (for example, severe depressing and apathetic depression of a psychotic level).

Diagnosis of anhedonia

Despite the fact that the term was introduced into psychiatry more than a hundred years ago, every year doctors pay more and more attention to this deviation. Diagnostic and treatment methods for anhedonia are being improved.

To date, there are many questionnaires to identify a lack of perception of positive emotions. The most reliable results show:

What it is? This is a scale for measuring social anhedonia. High rates in this questionnaire are reliable indicators of a predisposition to schizophrenia;
SA-SSPS - a test to determine the level of pleasure and social security;
CPS - Fawcett-Clark scale of pleasure;
TEPS - a questionnaire to evaluate the experience of pleasure;
SHAPS - a scale for measuring pleasure and joy in the life of Snate-Hamilton;
HDIS is a test for determining the deficit of pleasure and identifying obstacles to experiencing it, which includes several subscales.

Reasons: why this disease appears

Decrease in mood after a stressful situation. It so happens that a person for a long time can not "move away" from divorce, the death of a loved one, a major failure at work. It is as if afraid of starting to rejoice again.

Chronic fatigue, many responsibilities, lack of rest can “kill” all positive emotions.

Very often, the inability to enjoy becomes a personality trait of a person. He focuses only on the bad, constantly complains, is not happy with everything, etc. In this case, we will talk about a bad habit, which must be discarded. The sooner a person changes his life position, the better.

Constitutional and personal anhedonia is associated with features of sensory perception. This form of deficit of positive emotions is most often inherent in inert, inactive people. The main difference between this type of disease from all others is the constancy and stability of symptoms. That is, joy in a person’s life is absent from birth to death. This indicates a high predisposition to the appearance of mental disorders.

Anhedonia can be either a separate, independent symptom complex, or a sign of serious mental illness: schizophrenia, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, paranoid, schizoid and anxiety disorder, depersonalization - and also occur when taking antipsychotics.

How to return joy to your life?

First you need to find out what causes provoked the appearance of anhedonia. Treatment will depend on this.

If the deficit of positive emotions caused fatigue, then the best solution would be to reconsider the amount of your duties. Part of household chores can be entrusted to household members. The daily routine should include a mandatory rest time. At least 20-30 minutes dedicated only to yourself.

How to find joy in life if you are used to remembering only negative things? You should begin to carefully monitor your words and thoughts, stop complaining. Accustom yourself to look for advantages in any event and focus on them.

Surviving a difficult life situation is easier when communicating with other people. Do not lock yourself. Visit your friends or make an appointment with a psychologist, psychotherapist or group gestalt therapy session.

A piggy bank of happiness is a great way to remember joyful moments. Get a special box (jar, box). As soon as something good has happened, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in the piggy bank. The next time the blues roll, re-read the notes (or at least look at their number).

Eat more mood-enhancing foods: dark chocolate, nuts or oily fish, bananas, hot peppers. And it is better to refuse alcohol, coffee and sweets, because they give the opposite result.

Try positive affirmations and happiness meditations. Start and end the day with a smile to yourself. At first it will seem stupid, but the result will not be long in coming.

Create artificial stress. Sign up for the climbing section, parkour, go on a vacation away from civilization (for example, in a remote village or yoga camp). Any extreme and unusual activity is suitable for you.

Go in for sports. No wonder they say: "In a healthy body - a healthy mind!". This will help to improve physical well-being, increase your self-esteem, and dilute an established routine.

What to do if you are unable to cope with the symptoms at home? It is better to consult a doctor immediately.

How to treat anhedonia?

No one can constantly experience only positive emotions. However, if the lack of pleasure in life, apathy and unwillingness to do anything haunts you for more than 2-3 weeks for no apparent reason, you should consider visiting a doctor. Most likely, a deficit of emotions arose against the background of some other change in the psyche.

The doctor will diagnose, diagnose (or reassure, saying that everything is in order) and prescribe competent treatment.

It is important to faithfully comply with all the recommendations of the doctor, observe the treatment time and the prescribed dose. Even if you feel much better and don’t want to “poison” another 2 months with “harmful” pills, it’s better not to interrupt the therapy arbitrarily, because there is a high risk of an early relapse.

Anhedonia, although it does not lead to death, but very much interferes with life. Remember that this condition rarely goes away on its own. Start fighting anhedonia as early as possible so that your world does not become forever gray and bleak.

Interesting publications:

No related posts.