How to do what you need, not what you want. I don’t feel like it, but it’s necessary ... How to do what is necessary without stress
I can’t bring myself to study. For the first 2 weeks of the year, I’m studying well. I study all the paragraphs, I do: abstracts of the presentation. And after a year I take exams. I bought a bunch of books. I forgot about them for 3 weeks. minutes, and drags on for hours. I can’t finish things up, I created a blog, abandoned it, started running in the mornings a week later. I can’t make a daily routine to do everything during a short day at 9 am already sleeping. There are also problems with the order in the room. Wow how many wrote.
Alexander
Place catchy symbols, signs, inscriptions or other things and objects that remind you of your goals, deeds and dreams in your room, above the study table, on the calendar. Such reminders guarantee a constant flow of motivation.
Find yourself like-minded people. You will be able to motivate, inspire and support each other. Your mutual reminders and tips will help each of you in self-organization.
Find a person you would like to learn from. You will be able to adopt the best from the person you respect.
Music can calm, excite, sadden, and also motivate. Listening to fast, rhythmic music while jogging is one example of the motivating effect of music. What music motivates you?
Good answer8 Bad answer0Hello, Alixander!
Everything is very simple! And depends on What do you want? Look at your life!
Want to be a "pig" - stop cleaning the house.
If you want to be successful and live in prosperity, you study.
If you want to be famous, you have a blog.
- Do you want to be ... - do it!
You don’t do anything - you don’t have anything !!!
The choice is yours. And understand that no one can force you! Everything depends only on you. What you want is what you get!
Good answer6 Bad answer0Hello, Alexander!
You have your own characteristics that prevent you from continuing.
Apparently there are erroneous moments at the beginning of motivation and you refuse to feel difficulties.
And do not stand the test, the business of which is taken. This happens when there is an internal conflict.
It is better to clarify it. And then the situation will begin to change.
Sincerely, Alla Kudryashova.
Good answer6 Bad answer0Hello, Alexander! Watch can help you do what you don't want. For example, you need to do homework, but you do not want to. Agree with yourself - I understand that I do not want to do this, but it is necessary. And then I will do this, for example, from half past two to four. And then I will do what I like. And also - from how many to how many. For each completed task, reward yourself with small gifts - it can be an interesting film, ice cream, a new game on your computer, etc. So will reinforce your new behavior. After all, the main thing is to develop a habit. At the same time, you need to raise motivation - why am I doing this, what will I have as a result. Do not rot yourself for every mistake, but simply remove one from the list of pleasant things. Try to stay in this mode for three weeks, then a habit will appear. Good luck to you!
Good answer6 Bad answer0It is appropriate to tell a rather tough joke here:
The full man was sentenced to death in an electric chair, but he does not fit into it. Put on a diet - recovered by 10 kg. They began to give only bread and water - added 10 kg. They left one water - another plus 10 kg. Could not stand it:
- Why don’t you lose weight ???
- Motivation, you know, no.
So, to find motivation, you can use the following simple but working rules.
First, let's figure it out, but do we need to do what we do not want? Or is it necessary to do this not for us, but for someone else? Or just to make a show, will no one benefit from this action?
So, to begin with, we understand what the goal is and who pursues it. But the goals are different.
For example, your goal is to get up at 7 in the morning.
Who needs: to me
Why-1:
Why 2: I like the work, the compensation is decent, there is a way to develop
Total: You can not get up, but then you will need to solve questions with explanatory and image in the eyes of the authorities.
The same example, but with a completely different scenario.
Purpose: get up at 7 in the morning.
Who needs: to me
Why-1: To get to work on time, as there is a clear start time for the working day
Why 2: Uninteresting work, career growth is not expected, you can find something better
Total: You can not get up, but start looking for a new job today or get up with the thought that our goal is to find a new job in the shortest possible time, and perhaps there won't be any need to get up so early.
Output. We proceed from the goal. How much and why do I need it personally. What will be the price or alternative withdrawal scenario?
In addition to personal goals, there are goals of the team, team, friends, parents. Then you need to prioritize and understand how important these people or organizations are for us.
Example:
Who needs: to me
Why-1: so that sales managers have something to work with at the exhibition
Why 2: so as not to let down colleagues and maintain the company's image
Why 3: to take it one step further and make something new and attractive
Total: If my goals coincide with the goals of my company and help me grow, it will be useful for me to work on this project.
Output. In any business that needs to be done, you can almost always find something useful for yourself - the development of personal skills and abilities, the opportunity to work out in a new business for yourself, work with new people and establish new companies. Try to find something useful in your field.
And another example regarding relationships.
Necessary: take mom's documents to the bank
Who needs: mom
Why-1: She does not have time, we save her time
Why 2: Because this is mom, and her well-being is most important to us
Total: there are actions where there are no own goals and there is neither direct nor indirect benefit for a person, but there are relationships that we value and for which we are ready to perform an action.
A similar outcome occurs when there is a sense of duty.
However, one can approach the problem from a scientific point of view. There are many strategies for managing motivation in a company. You can try to apply some of them to yourself.
For example, to agree with yourself that after performing an action you make yourself a gift. For example, when I need to go on a business trip to some distant region of Russia, where the time is different from Moscow, and I have to get up 4-5-6 hours earlier than usual, I always promise myself some new outfit or new shoes on my return home. There is also a good inspiration strategy, which is often described at the training by E.V. Sidorenko, psychologist, business coach, guest teacher at SSE Russia. The strategy of inspiration is to create an environment that supports engagement and work energy. For example, if you really do not want to do the cleaning in the apartment or disassemble the boxes with things after the repair, invite friends to help you. Prepare for them a good table with wine and snacks and a few discs with your favorite films. Surely three new factors of the model - good people, interesting films and delicious snacks - will cheer you up and add joy to the cleaning process. And do not be surprised. I have a girlfriend who still asks if I dismantled the boxes after the repair with a hint that she is ready to connect to the process at any time. There are just people who love order and are ready to devote time to make the world a little better - remember at least Monica from the series "Friends".
And there is motivation "from the contrary." Sometimes this is the most effective way to get yourself to do something. The scripting “what if not ...” helps here
For example, you need to go and speak at a conference. I really don't want to - there’s not enough time anyway, the presentation is not ready, it’s very scary to speak. Imagine that we are not going to the conference. We won’t learn how to speak, as this is a skill that is formed only during training. So, we will continue to be afraid. Strange as it may seem, there will be no more time, since the freed one will spend 80 percent on minor matters of low importance, and in addition we will all the time think about how so - I was invited, but I didn’t speak, but I could, but it would have turned out ! But it turns out that the opportunities have already been missed, and more may not invite.
And finally, the most important thing. All these strategies are tested on themselves, they all work, but only under one condition. If we are not stressed and do not run a marathon for a long distance - from the beginning to the end of a difficult project without days off and holidays. A man, let alone a beautiful woman, has the right to rest, to his own time and to a comfortable and lazy existence. And before you look for motivation in order to do what you don’t want to do, you should think about why you don’t want and why do it right now. Maybe you should make the world wait and enjoy yourself first? For example, have a cup of coffee in a beauty salon while a skilled craftsman makes you a new jacket and a bath with fragrant lavender oil. And then a presentation, a business trip and a mushroom trip with your beloved husband, dad or grandfather!
Text: Anna Izmailova, Head of Marketing Communications, Stockholm School of Economics in Russia.
Read: 1,292
We learn the word “necessary” very early. Back in childhood. Mom says that you need to clean the toys. Then, you need to go to kindergarten. To study. Tidy up. Be smart, good, etc. Growing up, we find ourselves in the grip of the same demand. And involuntarily, we begin to wonder how to do what we need, and not what we want, without moral rejection of this idea. It turns out that the recipes are quite simple.
I must say right away: there is no magic pill. Not in stock. But there are working tips that will help make life easier. In fact, these are small steps that every woman can take - a leader, a housewife, a mother, a grandmother. No matter.
These are recipes for reducing everyday negativity, as well as for making things “need to” themselves turn into things “want”. With your little help.
Let's go, how to do what is necessary, and not what you want!
Do quickly and do not put off until later
In fact, it is adapted to household chores and work concerns.
Do I have to wipe the floor in the kitchen? We take and overwrite.
Wash the plate? One minute!
To make a call? Ain moment!
No need to kill for quality and approach everyday worries with the zeal of a perfectionist. You just have to do it. And from here the second rule!
Do what you need, and not what you want, "through the sleeves"
Not literally, of course.
But exclusively "for show." Sometimes we find ourselves in complete disarray just because we are not doing things “somehow”. As a result, they accumulate, accumulate, accumulate. And they turn into a huge pile of cases, which even unload on paper is unrealistic. And we? We descend into the abyss of stress, time pressure and have no time.
So that this does not happen, and things do not cause rejection, we allow ourselves to do them "anyhow." The main thing to do.
Such an approach significantly reduces the level of anxiety and allows you to realize that doing what you need, and not what you want, is quite simple. 
Come up with a reward
A pleasant bonus awaiting at the end of an unpleasant business will cheer you up and help you put up with the process.
You do not just need to plan anything global. Choose a reward comparable to "must." It could be:
- a piece of chocolate;
- a cup of coffee;
- call to a friend;
- access to social networks;
- play with children;
- walk;
- a series of your favorite movie.
You can come up with a lot of options. The main thing is that they cause positive and not be time-consuming.
And it will be strange if for one washed plate a two-hour film will become a reward!
No deadlines
Yes, the time factor is important for any task. But to complete the absolutely unloved "must", you can cancel this item.
Quite the contrary!
Set a goal to do everything in the rhythm that is most convenient.
Better to do things superficially and 90% than you will drive yourself to nerves and stress. 
In my time…
If there is a possibility of choosing the time for the “necessary” execution, then it is better to use it. Often we are visited by impulses during other affairs - to be distracted by something else.
Take a break in creative work and think ...
Let your eyes rest from a book or movie ...
Relax your brain with physical work ...
Just switch from one to another ...
In the period of such phases, when there is a need for a change of activity, it is very convenient to recall the need-to-do. And carry them out. This helps to shift the focus, relax and cheer yourself up.
Where to get things done? After they should be collected in one place and available for viewing.
What recipe can you give more? Do what you need, and not what you want, on the positive!
The more positive emotions we experience, the simpler everything becomes complicated, unloved, boring and important.
Well, and in completely neglected cases, you can remember about and safely take it into service!
Perhaps this problem is relevant for many of us. Still, imagine how much better it would be to get rid of the useless habit of putting off what you can do today until tomorrow.
However, not everything is so bad. Humans are creatures that can cultivate and work on their mistakes. You just need to choose the right strategy. And for this it is necessary to find the reason why you are postponing an unpleasant activity.
Reason: You are afraid to screw up
Solution: focus correctly
Ask yourself why you are doing the task. There are two possible answers to this question:
1. You are completing a task to achieve something more than you have now, for example: “If I successfully complete this project, the boss will praise me” or “If I go on a diet, I will look better,” you focus on future achievement.
It would seem that this approach looks rather optimistic - a person wants to achieve something more and is confidently moving towards his goal. However, if you are in doubt, and you are afraid not to cope with the task, this motivation does not suit you.
How to focus correctly? Consider the second option.
2. You do the work so as not to lose what you already have (favorite job, stable income, trust of bosses, respect of colleagues, etc.). Thus, you will be led by the fear of losing what you have. And you can direct all your efforts to eliminating potential threats. The greater the danger you feel, the more you can concentrate on finding a way out of the situation.
Reason: You are postponing work because you simply do not want to do it
Solution: ignore feelings - they only bother you
In his book “The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking”, Oliver Berkman explains that in most cases when we say things like “I don’t I can get up early in the morning, "in fact we can do this, we just don’t want to. And this reluctance "binds" you to bed every morning. Physically, nothing prevents you from getting up - it's all about psychology. However, is it worth the wait until you want to do this?
For some reason, we believe that the desire to do something is very important for motivation and effectiveness. In fact, wanting is not necessary. Of course, loving your job is good, but wanting to work constantly is simply impossible! We want the work to be done, but we don’t always want to do it. Feel the difference?
Inspiration is for wimps. Actual productivity depends on work, not mood or insight. Feelings and bad mood should not stop you on the road to achieving the desired result.
Reason: You are putting off work because it is boring, complicated, etc.
Solution: plan on the basis of "if / when, then"
Often we say to ourselves: "Next time I will force myself to start work earlier." Of course, if we all had the willpower to do so, it would be wonderful - we would not have to put off work until later. Studies show that people tend to overestimate their ability to control themselves.
Try to accept the fact that your willpower is still not infinite. And it does not always help to tackle complex, boring, or even brain-bearing things. In such cases, try using if / when, then planning.
What is this all about? In fact, everything is simple and logical: decide where and when you begin to fulfill the plan. For example:
“At 2 o’clock, I’ll stop doing my business and start working on the report.”
"If the boss at the meeting does not raise the issue of my award, I will remind him of this until the end of the meeting."
You see, it is very important to decide in advance WHAT specifically you are going to do, and WHEN and HOW you are going to do it. Thus, when the time comes to accomplish your plan, you will not doubt whether it is worth doing it right now. If you’ve already decided to do something in advance, you kind of spur willpower, because the decision was made long before the critical moment.
The effectiveness of this approach is confirmed by the results of more than 200 studies, which showed that thanks to such planning, people were able to increase productivity by an average of 200 - 300%.
So next time, try to think about the consequences of doing nothing, put your feelings on the back burner and plan your actions carefully. It is these three steps that will help you force yourself to do what you do not like.
