Ideal man: how to understand that he suits you? Text: Ksenia Slyusarenko.

An ideal partner in all respects - no matter how one wants to believe romantic comedies - does not exist. But there are many imperfect men, with each of whom you could be very happy. But here's how to determine that a guy really suits you? Love, as you know, is evil, therefore you should not rely only on instincts. In front of you are 5 signs by which you can understand that your new friend is exactly the one you need.

Sign number 1. You respect each other

Respect tops the list. And this is what should be mutual. That is, in order to be considered suitable for a serious relationship, a man must respect you, and you, in turn, him. But how to understand whether he respects you or not? Like this:

He respects you if:

ready to compromise;
listens when you talk about your problems and feelings;
notices when something is wrong and asks you about it;
appreciates your opinion;
appreciates you;
i am sincerely happy for you when you achieve success in something.

Remember that the relationship was good, you need to demonstrate the same thing in relation to him.

If you find that one of you does not want to compromise, and that problems and feelings are ignored, or you notice that something is wrong, but do not ask, these are signs that indicate a lack of respect . If one of you shrugs off the opinion of the other, as if it is insignificant, obviously, respect and does not smell.

Sign number 2. He has the qualities that you are looking for

Ideally, you should already know what qualities are really important for you in a partner. Trying to understand this after the fact, being in a relationship, can lead to serious problems.

If you have not decided yet, make a list of important qualities for you. Choose at least 10 traits you are looking for in a man. Write them in descending order of priority. Look carefully at the list and cross out several qualities that are not so important. The idea is to leave the top 5 or even top 3 completely irreplaceable qualities that are fundamental to you.

All this must be done with two points in mind. First, remember: no one is perfect. If you are looking for Mr. Perfection, stop doing it: it's useless. Secondly, you should not agree to the "just good" guy. After all, we are talking about finding a truly suitable man.

Compare your list of the 5 most important character traits with the man whose relationship you are currently interested in. Remember that these are very important qualities for you, so if it does not correspond to all of them, then there is a high probability that it does not suit you. And if you feel attracted to him - later you can recall this relationship as the very situation “love of evil”.

Sign number 3. You have the same values

What do you value in life? What's in your value system in the first place, what's in the second? How do you see your future? If you do not adhere to common values, consider this a very good sign.

Values \u200b\u200bare something that should be discussed in advance. Do not try to guess what he values \u200b\u200bmost in life, ask him yourself! If he does not seem to have them or cannot formulate them clearly, then in this one can see another alarming bell. Psychologically, an adult man with an already established worldview is quite flexible, but has clear outlooks on life.

Sign number 4. Your intuition tells you that he is what you need

You can not rely only on intuition, but you can not ignore it. Intuition implies more than just physical attraction. It is connected with that place deep inside where you "just know, that's all." If you, for no reason, are inwardly convinced that a person is right for you, perhaps this is true.

Sign number 5. You can be yourself with him

If someone wants to change you or cannot love you with all your flaws, it means that he definitely does not suit you. Therefore, if you can remain yourself when you are near him, he may be exactly what you need. A man should accept not only the good in you, but also your weaknesses and weaknesses. With him you feel free and calm.

Remember these 5 signs, evaluating the candidate for a special place in your life, and the chances of “and they lived happily ever after” will increase.

The beginning of a new relationship can drive both sexes into panic. But if young people are relatively calm about such romantic changes in life, then girls often fall into deep thought. It seems to them that the person you like will not be a prince on a white horse at all, and not even a simple pleasant guy. They are tormented by the main question: “how to understand that a man is right for you?” You do not need to go into heavy thoughts once again, you just need to read this article and decide for yourself whether that person is or is worth looking for a little more.

Psychological ways to understand that a man suits you

Knowledge of the psychological aspects of the difference between a man and a woman will give ease in relationships and the ability to “not bother”

The similarity of the way of thinking of a man and a woman, some features of the chosen one’s character and the girl’s attitude to them all determine the psychological side of the question of understanding a “suitable partner”. At the same time, to assess compatibility, it is not at all necessary to have special knowledge from the field of scientific psychology, it is enough to look at some details of his behavior and the girl’s reaction to them.

Joint talk

It happens that after meeting somewhere on the Internet, people agree to meet, and a man cannot say a word, does not support any conversation. At this point, you should not draw conclusions, they are very likely to be erroneous. If a person was cheerful in electronic correspondence, then sooner or later he will become the same in live communication. He is simply shy, somewhat confused!

People live in society, so the person’s ability to communicate can determine the degree of socialization

But if the situation does not change over time, and the conversation does not stick, then life with such a man will be difficult and boring, you need to run away from him. The reasons for this situation lie in:

lack of common interests;
isolation of a man;
the desire of a young man to conceal something (it is very rare).

If a man really likes it, it's worth trying to bring him into a frank conversation about the reasons for constantly avoiding conversation, only it is unlikely to lead to anything: it is one thing if he is just embarrassed by the conversation, and another thing is the lack of common interests.

Comfort

Sometimes, in the presence of a person, a woman feels completely safe, under the cover of protection and guardianship, surrounded by tenderness. This is the highest degree of so-called comfort. This also includes a sense of security from himself. Yes, on first dates, a timid girl may be afraid of a new man, which is quite rare, but if the feeling of anxiety does not go away for a long time (after a 3-4 date), then this man is definitely not suitable.

If you have a strong feeling that something is going wrong at the beginning of your cohabitation, then it's better to leave

A young man may not represent a real danger to the girl, she just does not relax with him. A man can be 1000 times good, handsome and smart, but if there is such a flaw, then you can safely forget about the relationship with him, it will not lead to anything good. By the way, there is a direct connection with the general topics of conversation discussed above - if there are none, then there will be no comfort.

The opportunity to spend time in silence

The search for the ideal is a long and difficult process

Well, if we are talking about the “candy-bouquet” period, constant communication is not just inevitable, it will only be a joy for both! But with the advent of family life together, the situation changes a little - in the evenings I want to sit in silence, and nobody has canceled the work at home. It is necessary to assess whether a man is able to maintain a distance, that is, for some time not to violate personal space. If a young man constantly gives signs of attention, needs constant communication, and it bothers you - forget about him. There is no fault of his, just your need for communication and attention does not coincide.

Thrift

Living together includes not only celebration, fun and sex, it is also a common life. If a partner cannot drive a nail into the wall, then he is not the best partner, although this cannot be called a determining factor - what if a young man earns very well, and is he able to hire a specialist to drive a nail? But if this is not so, then it is worth thinking hard, because a woman will have to take on some part of openly masculine household chores. Moreover, you need to think if a man "can, but does not want," that is, he is lazy. This character trait is practically impossible to deduce, and it is not necessary, let him live his lazy life.

Housekeeping - a parameter by which to evaluate the future partner at the beginning of family life

Another thing is to help a woman in her affairs, for example, cooking, cleaning, washing. Refuses to help? It’s not a question, but let it earn so much that it’s enough for a normal life, and to facilitate the performance of typically female functions, for example, in the form of buying a good dishwasher. If not able, then let it help. Separation of duties is the right way for an accomplished couple. It’s stupid to argue about typically female prerogatives in everyday life in the modern world. The one who has the time and skills is preparing or cleaning. This way will greatly facilitate mutual understanding and allow the couple to spend more time with each other.

It is about the ability to save money, and not about outright greed. It means competent budget allocation. This is especially noticeable if a man does not turn over millions, or even is poor - earns little, but lives well. So, a young man is able to direct his money in the right direction, you can trust him. And the career prospects of such men are much nicer than those of a spender.

The ability to save money and allocate a budget is an excellent quality for a potential partner

It’s important to remember that some guys try to splurge on their first date. Lead to an expensive restaurant, give an expensive bouquet. At the same time, money for the event was accumulated for about a week, after the end of the meeting the man will remain “empty”. It is impossible to calculate this right away, but after only two or three dates everything will fall into place. And here the main thing is not to make a mistake - this is a show off or a desire to make it nice. If the latter, then the person is most likely good, but not economical, but you must run away from the first.

Sex

Well, what kind of relationship without sex? But it is important to understand the intentions of the young man. From the first hours, or even minutes of acquaintance, he talks about sex or hints at him? Then this is clearly not the case, although if a woman is not against such ties, then you can take a chance. But with a focus on serious relations, such a rush should alert. Probably, this man needs a girl only for sex, and well, if not once. Another option is that the young man is simply preoccupied, it can even be dangerous!

Own feelings, sympathy, skills - the criteria for the choice of most girls

And here he is - the first romantic evening. There is only one criterion - good with this person or not. Just by feeling. It’s just that emotional sympathy is indispensable; if it doesn’t exist, then it is unlikely that you will be able to get pleasure from communication. But on the skill of a man in bed by primacy, you can not pay attention, perhaps he is simply inexperienced. Difficulties with an erection on the first intimate date can also be forgiven, the man is worried, and this is even good - that means he is serious. But if this continues all the time, then problems may arise over time. Talk to the man, find out if this has happened before and make a decision. You may need treatment, but most likely you will just need to get to know each other and “get used to it”.

Astrological signs of compatibility

The synastry is a kind of “science”, capable of determining the compatibility of a man and a woman by date of birth, zodiac sign and some other astrological indicators. In the framework of one article, it is simply impossible to talk about all the criteria, but in general terms, the information is understandable.

Compatibility of people according to the arrangement of stars is a subjective sign, but many believe in it

Date of Birth. This indicator determines compatibility in terms of prospects for the development of relations. It is about the desire for change and the beginning of a new life. If a woman, according to this astrological criterion, does not want intimacy, but longs for windy connections, then the male opposite cannot do anything about it.
Zodiac sign. This is the most common and important criterion. It determines compatibility in communication, at home, in bed, and even in joint rest. I must say that in the past few years, the signs of the zodiac have ceased to play such a serious role in determining a person’s personality - modern living conditions make it adapt to almost everything.

It is not recommended to create compatibility horoscopes independently. An inexperienced “user” can make a lot of mistakes in the natal chart, which will invariably affect the fidelity of decision-making when choosing a man.

It is better to seek the help of professional astrologers, who are now very divorced. Among them are full of scammers, so before you bring money to the "stargazer", read the reviews about his work. There are also online horoscopes that check the compatibility of men and women. Their accuracy is minimal, but they require a lot of money. Do not draw conclusions based on such tests!

Signs that destroy the future

The main criteria that determine the compatibility of men and women were considered above. But there are still a few additional signs that, although they hardly appear at an early stage of the relationship, could become a serious problem in the future.

For each person, the list of criteria for "compatibility" is different - no need to compromise principles for the sake of passion

A man likes to drink. If a potential chosen one does not imagine rest without a glass of vodka or a glass of beer, then in the future there is a risk of alcoholism.
The man is quick-tempered, easily goes to conflict. A balanced calm partner solves all problems peacefully, using force only as a last resort, and never screams. If now he is “dusting” due to minor conflicts, then with the beginning of family life, especially after the “six-month crisis”, he can begin to dissolve his hands.
The young man is trying to show his importance, constantly blowing dust in his eyes. He will do this, instead of growing above himself, and pushing his family forward. In addition, such an approach to life will quickly spoil the relationship of a potential second half with relatives and friends of the girl.
A man has no purpose in life, a hobby. Fa woman will go out all her life together with him. In addition, such men like to drink “with nothing to do,” as mentioned above.
A man does not like children. If the girl herself does not plan to give birth to a child, then there is nothing wrong with that, on the contrary, she will not constantly pester with conversations about the “heir”. Otherwise, the future will not work. Even if the baby is born, the discord will only be a matter of time. However, after the first-born, some men dramatically change their attitude towards children.

You can come to terms with one of these signs, since over time you can really cope with such a flaw. But if two or more are combined, then the relationship, unfortunately, is not worth starting.

The girl does not need to take relationship building and choosing the man of her dreams lightly. The least attention should be paid to astrological criteria, in some cases they simply do not work - "star" features disappear under certain conditions of life. But psychological moments should become the basis of choice. If a woman is not comfortable with a man, he does not give her personal space and does not want to put up with her cockroaches in her head, then the best solution would be to look for another life partner!

In contact with

Classmates

At the beginning of a relationship, you are so blinded by falling in love that you may not notice that you really do not fit together. And this is not about trifles or some incompatibilities, but about serious points that cannot be ignored. For example, the following 7 signs of a man’s behavior will not end well for you:

1. He constantly finds fault and criticizes, and rarely does (or doesn't at all) compliments. There is a huge difference between negative and positive attention. The right person will support and encourage you, give praise and encourage you. And the wrong one will most likely mark errors. But everyone wants to feel special for their partner, but unique in a good way, not bad.

2. Next to him, you become less self-confident. If you constantly check messages on the phone and are actively looking for signs that he really likes you, most likely it is not for you. Anyone who deserves your attention will see your value and will set aside time for you because he will understand how lucky he is to be with you.

In a relationship you should feel yourself, no less. Insecurity is normal at the beginning of a relationship, but over time a feeling of comfort and calm should appear.

3. You do not have trust. You cannot build a normal relationship if both of you or one of you is suspicious and constantly doubts everything. Honesty and trust are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Yes, it takes time to create a trusting atmosphere: for this you need to keep your word and be open in your feelings.

4. You already know all of his ex. Not in the sense that you know them, but in the fact that he too often recalls them and compares you. If something does not suit him, he must express it without using comparisons with his ex.

5. You feel good together only when you have fun. Of course, you should arrange your own outings, parties, etc. But this should not be your only good pastime. If you are not interested with each other when there is no alcohol and fun nearby, this is a bad sign.

6. He silently leaves the answerrolls his eyes and peas against the wall. He does not want to discuss and solve the problem, but simply chooses a defensive position.

7. He shows his feelings only when he needs something. And when then you ask him for something, then he becomes cold. In the end, you will feel used, a victim of manipulation, and that you are not appreciated. Relationships are about giving and receiving.

Many of the girls are ready to connect their lives with a person, just not to be alone. Women often seek to create a serious relationship and sometimes become too loyal, trying to discern the potential in a man. There is nothing wrong.

However, if your man is not able to discern your potential, you are unlikely to have a bright future.

How to understand whether you are meeting the right person, or he is not at all the one you should be with.

Here are a few signs that this man is not the only one, even if he is a good guy.

Are you compatible with a man

1. You cannot relax next to him
If you constantly feel nervous or worried, as if you need to perform on stage or correspond to some role, this is an occasion to think.

You do not feel close to him naturally, and all the time trying to impress him? It should not be.

Check yourself: can you just silently sit next to him? Can you work or read a book while sitting in the same room with him, or is silence making you nervous?

2. You always want to do different things.

In fact, this is not a reason for parting, because sometimes even couples with completely different interests can find a common language. However, if it seems to you that you can never find something in common that would interest both of you, this is already a reason to beware.

3. You have different expectations from sex.

If you are dating a man, and he hints at a closer relationship after only a few meetings, and you feel unprepared, this suggests that you have different expectations from sex.

You do not need to force yourself to what you are not ready for, at least not at the beginning of the relationship.

People have different expectations, and that's normal. But, if you cannot come to a common denominator in any way, then you need to learn how to find agreement on this issue.

4. Communication with him upsets you and seems unnatural.

Communication with those with whom you are going to spend a lot of time should be natural and free. It should bring you joy and be pleasant.

If it seems to you that there are many moments of awkward silence between you when you try to think of something to talk about, especially after a few dates, then something is not gluing in your relationship.

Male compatible

5. You like the idea of \u200b\u200bmeeting him, but not the idea of \u200b\u200bspending more time with him.

Think about what delights you more: the fact that you had a man, or that you met him. This is a simple sign that shows whether your relationship has a future.

It is one thing if you need a non-binding relationship, and another when you need a foundation for a long-term relationship.

6. Next to him you do not feel like yourself.

This is not about that he is doing something bad or unacceptable, but about how much you can be yourself in his presence. And this is a problem, whatever the reason for this sensation.

7. You are forced to hide your relationship.

This applies to situations where you cannot fit your man into your daily life. You only meet at a predetermined time, then go home, watch TV and forget about it until you make an appointment again.

It annoys you when plans change, or he does something spontaneously, as it does not fit into your life. This is a clear sign that there are some inconsistencies between you.

8. You start to get very worried when you think about him.

Anxiety usually occurs when your mind is in some kind of discomfort.

And although many of us tend to worry about this or that occasion, if your anxiety is much greater when you think about your man, you need to think about why you feel insecure and intense, and whether your couple has potential.

9. He did not introduce you to his friends.

This is an alarm! Ask yourself why he doesn’t want you to meet his friends?

10. You do not want to introduce him to your friends.

Why don't you want your friends to meet him?

It seems to you that they will not approve of your choice (or maybe they are right?) Or do you want it to exist separately from your life? It’s worth considering if this is your situation.

11. You are not encouraged by thoughts about the future with him.

If you meet long enough, but don’t see each other together after a few years, this is practically a concrete sign that you are not destined to be together.

Ultimately, listen to your heart and you will know the answer.

The annoyance of defeat, for sure, does not want to experience a single woman. Especially if it concerns the person whom she was fond of, but then realized that he was not a couple to her at all. Such relationships can last for months, sometimes for years. Sorry for the time and energy spent. To avoid this situation, pay attention to the signals that fate sends you.

Fig. How to understand that a man is not suitable for you?

For him, the priority is deed, not you

Naturally, he claims that you are the main thing for him, but in reality it turns out to be completely different. For him, his friends, deeds and concerns are more important. If you agree on something and something unexpectedly changes, then he will never change his own plans. In a conversation about a joint future, the partner always talks about what exactly he intends to do, and he does not care about your aspirations.

You should rather part with such a partner, since you are not a priority person for him. In this situation, there can be no question. You need to strive to connect your destiny with someone for whom you will be much more important than the others, not only in words but in deeds.

He is a sexist

This term is used to call a person who is sure that a man and a woman are not equal. The point of view is reduced to the superiority of men over women whose discrimination reaches unthinkable sizes. Living with such a man is very difficult, because he will not respect you as a person. He is unlikely to help you in raising children and doing household work. For him, there are strict frameworks that divide the "womanish" and the "masculine". Also, this man will always consider himself smarter than you, which can not contribute to the harmonious relationship.

He's lying to you

Suppose you caught him on a petty lie, but it still suggests that the man will continue to cheat. And not only in the details, but also on a large scale. This confirms that you will have to listen to fictitious stories and false excuses all your life. Deception is “in the blood” - you have to put up with it. A fundamental factor in any successful relationship is trust and honesty. With a liar you are out of the way. Think yourself, if at the beginning of the creation of the union you have to listen to the lies, what will happen next?

Communication with service workers

The simplest thing is to pay attention to how your partner talks to the waiters in cafes or restaurants. A worthy and noble man will never show his neglect, even if in a condescending form. He always respects the interlocutor. It doesn’t matter who he is - his subordinate, business partner or waiter. If the beloved behaves rudely towards the service staff, it is likely that after some time he will treat you like that.

Lack of initiative

Of course, you have romantic evenings, but on condition that you have thought up their script from beginning to end, and not him. A man who does not take the initiative in relationships is not the best candidate for the role of spouse. From such inaction on his part, you will quickly get tired. In addition, lack of initiative can indicate a man’s laziness, which is an even more global flaw. With such a partner you doom yourself to a gray, unremarkable life. Look for a man whose head is always full of ideas.

Constant discontent

An alarming signal is the constant dissatisfaction of the partner for any reason. He is always depressed, he does not like anything, everything annoys him, for him everything is stupid and inappropriate. If you notice such traits in your beloved, you should know that he is a pessimist who sees the world painted in gloomy tones. And after that, do you still want to start a family with such a man? Why do you need this?! In the world a large number of optimistic men who. Believe me, a grumbler can easily ruin your life. He a priori cannot be satisfied with anything.

You are his eternal savior

With a man who has to be saved on a regular basis from something, for example, from alcohol, drugs, a debt hole, it is better not to connect your life. Psychologists say that some ladies consciously seek to build relationships with just such partners. This adds to their confidence in their own abilities,. Frankly, . But you are self-sufficient! You do not need to connect fate with someone who cannot solve their own problems, not to mention the general family troubles and your personal difficulties.

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