Effective ways to calm your nerves. How to be calm in any situation and not be nervous

Hello, friends.

Today I want to help all those who are often nervous, worried and very much suffering from this. In this article, I will explain in detail how to stop being nervous and become calm.

Why help? Yes, because I myself used to be often nervous and worried over trifles, which caused big problems in life. And I devoted a lot of time to the question of why we are nervous and how to get rid of it.

Realizing the reason and getting to the bottom of the matter, I got rid not only of nervousness, but also of all others.

Nervousness keeps us from living

I know that many concerns bring you concern. Everyone knows the situation when we are waiting for an important meeting, interview or exam and you need to have a clear head so as not to fail.

But it’s not known where the jaundice is attacking us, we are shaking, sweating, starting to fuss or vice versa falling into a stupor and not thinking anything. This is the main problem of nervousness: instead of productive thinking, the right thing at the crucial moment, on the contrary, we begin to do stupid things, talk nonsense, but just don’t know what we are doing.

Let's list the main disadvantages of a nervous state, and what it can lead to:

when we are nervous, we stop responding correctly to the situation;
we cannot concentrate;
we think badly with our heads;
nervousness takes vitality;
as a result, we quickly get tired and accumulate chronic tension.

And many more can be listed the negative consequences of this condition.

Sooner or later, all this will lead to physical and mental illness.

After all, it is known that most diseases are from nerves, from the malfunction of our psyche.

When we are nervous, the pressure rises, the heart rate quickens, and the hormonal background changes. So the body reacts to a stressful situation. For a short time it is justified, so laid down by nature. But if we are nervous often and for a long time, a malfunction occurs in the body, and the imbalance within us does not pass, it becomes chronic.

Often nervous people are given such a mysterious diagnosis as VVD (I was also given).

In general, there is no such disease abroad.

And there is no point in treating it without eliminating the main cause of the VSD - nervous strain, due to frequent experiences.

Therefore, get rid of increased nervousness if you do not want to get sick, but want to be healthy and adequately respond in any situation.

We can not be nervous

Our path to eliminating nervousness will begin with psychological attitudes that you must inspire yourself.

They will help you realize the true state of affairs and reduce an inadequate reaction to what is happening.

The first setting will be this. In solitude and in complete silence, close your eyes and say to yourself these phrases:

"I will never be nervous again, because it bothers me and brings problems. I remain calm always, in any situation."

Thus, you leave the subconscious mindset to combat your nervousness.

Then you should understand that such a reaction of your psyche is not natural, but a painful condition that can and must be eradicated. Of course, when a danger arises or when you are in an unusual environment, the body reacts with an increase in heart rate, an adrenaline rush, and other stressful reactions. So laid down by nature, so that we can either quickly escape or begin to attack. But this reaction should be short-term and not cause so much pain, trouble for us and our body. And the stress response is delayed for a long time due to the malfunction of our psyche, which leads to diseases and other problems.

Therefore, the second installation will be like this. Say to yourself this phrase:

"My nervousness is not a natural reaction of my psyche to what is happening. But a normal reaction is when I calmly relate to any troubles in life."

Many people think that constant anxiety and a nervous state is their character trait that cannot be changed, which means that nothing needs to be done. But they are very mistaken and make a big mistake. If nervousness is not a natural state, then you can make sure that your psyche works more correctly and you stop being nervous. Any character, any program in your brain can be changed, you just need to take on yourself, well, and know how to do it. Therefore, the last installation will be as follows.

"I will change. I will win over nervousness, she will leave me. I will have a different character, more calm."

At first try to find time every day and say these phrases to yourself. Over time, they will take root in your brain, and will do their job. But this is only the first step (but very important) in your fight against nervousness, so you can’t fix the matter with one suggestion.

The main thing you must understand and understand for yourself, to fix in your head that we can not be nervous, that nervousness can and should be eliminated.

Causes of concern

It is useless to get rid of nervousness without eradicating the causes of this condition.

And the root of anxiety is the wrong attitude to life and a bloated ego. What does it mean?

We do not interact with the world correctly, we look at everything around with distortion. In simple terms: with their own cockroaches in their heads, each with its own look. The main distortion, because of which we often get nervous and experience this very serious attitude to the situation.

Going to a responsible meeting or exam, we are putting at stake a career, future financial situation or something else important to us. In the subconscious is a failed scenario with a terrible outcome, all this creates tension and, as a result, a nervous experience. In order to alleviate stress, and to mean to stop being nervous, you need to reduce, or better, remove the importance of the upcoming event. After all, in fact, this importance is mainly wound up, artificially created due to a wrong attitude to life.

It is necessary to relate to everything more calmly, philosophically look at life. People have long come up with their own settings and well-known phrases that will help in this. For example, "whatever happens," "well, to hell with him," and others. In fact, you need to easily accept your fate, any situation in your life.

Here another cause of nervous experiences appears. We are afraid of the negative outcome of the event, which means we are afraid of difficulties, afraid of losing. After all, not everyone can calmly endure failure, get up and move on. Usually people give up after the defeat and abandon their goals.

Having become brave, accepting any outcome of the event, we take off the importance and stop being nervous about the defeat. We know that even if we lose, we will learn a lesson from this and in the next battle we will be more prepared.

In other words, we are afraid of the difficulties of life and are constantly hiding from them.

Therefore, an important tip: going to a responsible event, you should not be afraid of a negative outcome and accept any event that happens. Release everything in yourself, relax and speak to yourself:

"I accept everything that happens to me, what will happen, it will be. If you are lucky, well, if not, well, then such a fate."

Release the importance. Religious people are good in this regard. They all blame God, trusts him. And you trust this world, let it make any event.

Of course, all this is not very simple. Here you need to work on yourself, but realizing the wrong reaction to the environment, you can move yourself and live more calmly and happily.

And a bloated ego is when we are sitting in the wrong attitude, negative character traits. Excessive pride, an increased sense of self-importance, or, on the contrary, self-doubt, give rise to the need for mandatory approval, praise and cause fear to be ridiculed, not to be a lot in case of failure.

For example, when a guy goes on a date for the first time, they sit in him, like a strong fear of being rejected by a girl ridiculed by friends, as well as other complexes. All this creates a strong excitement that the partner feels. Girls do not like insecure guys, as a result, a date either fails or does not go as we would like.

Therefore, be simpler, relax and everything will be fine.

Before the upcoming important event for you, you should inspire yourself with the settings that I mentioned above.

Bring to your mind the fact that if you are going to worry and be nervous, you will simply overwhelm the whole thing. Take off the importance of the event, do not be afraid to lose, push your pride away, be confident. Of course, all this is not easy. But the foundation will be laid, in a stressful situation, the subconscious mind will remember this, and you will experience less. If this does not help, do not despair and think again about everything that I told you, having inspired myself with the correct settings.

Be aware

Usually a person understands that you can’t be nervous, inspire yourself that he will not worry, he tries to remove the importance of the event, but as soon as he gets into a stressful situation, nervousness again falls upon him.

The psyche and the body react out of habit, and it takes time to rebuild. It is important at such moments to catch ourselves on the fact that we are nervous and remember about the correct settings. Therefore, be aware. Once nervousness has swallowed you, try to distance yourself from it. Look from the side at those feelings and emotions that have possessed you. The main thing is that you do not merge with the experiences, as is usually the case, but remember that you are getting rid of them. It helps a lot.

I will give an example of how to respond in stressful situations. Suppose you made a mistake at work, and your boss called you for a showdown.

To get started, prepare for the meeting. Close your eyes and tell yourself the following:

“I’m not afraid that my boss will scold me, because I don’t care what he thinks of me. After all, whatever he does, he can always find a reason to punish me. Should I then grovel in front of him and worry thinking whether he will scold or not. Indeed, most importantly, my work colleagues know that I am a good worker, but most importantly, I know my own worth. After all, I am not a slave, but a free person. dignified and calm. I take off the importance of this meeting and accept any outcome of the event. Even if he fires me, n it means my fate is that. So the world needs it. There is always a way out and I will definitely find a good job. If I behave calmly, the boss will appreciate this and see me as a worthy person. If I’m nervous, then on the contrary, the boss will cease to respect me and will certainly scold or dismiss me. "

This is an approximate wording, which in each case will be different. Show your imagination. The main thing is that you should take off the importance of the event, not be afraid of defeat and come to terms with any outcome. If you are calm, your head will be clear and everything will go fine. And usually the employee is so worried about meeting with the boss that he loses control over himself and makes mistakes, he says not what he originally wanted.

But this is only half the battle. You will still be nervous during the meeting itself, even if it’s already less. Nothing wrong. Just at that moment, believe that you can be calm. But most importantly, do not let the experiences absorb you. Try to look at the emotions as if from the side. Do not fight excitement, just let this feeling go free and watch it, even if it grows. The main thing is to watch from a distance and watch again. Believe me, it will become easier for you and the nervousness will recede. The main thing is to train in the skill of observation from the outside, as it doesn’t work right away.

The importance of the meeting will also decrease if you perceive it in a joking manner. For example, imagine that instead of a boss, a funny goblin from a comic book sits in a chair, and you just grin at him. Come up with something of your own.

How to calm down with breathing

How to quickly calm down and get nervous? A very good technique that stops nervousness will also help you with this. This is a translation of our attention to breathing and slowing the respiratory rhythm. After all, when we are nervous, the rhythm of breathing increases, it becomes intermittent, and basically we begin to breathe with the chest. If you specifically begin to breathe through the diaphragm, i.e. belly and slow down your breathing, you stop the physiology of the nervous state and gradually calm down. But most importantly, you need to attach attention to the respiratory rhythm. So you are distracted from negative emotions, deprive them of energy, and they are reduced.

Do this exercise in any stressful environment, invisible to others and you will feel like you become calmer.

Applying my recommendations, your nervousness will decrease and not cause you anxiety, and you will become calmer and calmer. The main thing is to work on oneself, react correctly to life, are not afraid of difficulties, and develop awareness.

How to find peace everywhere and always

Following my recommendations, not everyone will be able to stop being nervous. The thing is that for many, the nervous system is so weakened by everyday stresses that it will not help them. Rather helps, but only a little. What to do? How to calm down and stop thinking about the bad?

It is necessary to strengthen the nervous system, bring the mind and psyche to a state of rest.

Our restless mind gives rise to many negative thoughts and emotions, all of which are out of our control. From here and experiences and nervousness.

Lead a healthy lifestyle. The state of the nervous system directly depends on the general condition of the whole organism. A healthy person is cheerful, more likely to experience positive emotions, less afraid and worried. Many methods are suitable for gaining health, which you will also learn about from this blog.
Stop consuming and. Many people believe that alcohol and nicotine soothe and relieve nervousness. In fact, they only cloud the brain, blocking the perception of the source of nervousness, and also destroy nerve cells. You, like an ostrich, buried your head in the ground, chickened, fled from the problem. After all, the problem has not gone away, and with alcohol and nicotine you only weakened the nervous system. You have become weaker and the next stress you will already suffer much worse.
Learn relaxation techniques. This and. The relaxation acquired in them will gradually pass into everyday life, and you will calmly relate to any troubles.
Take care. Thanks to her, you will forever forget about anxiety and nervousness. She will cleanse your psyche from any distortions, you will find peace, mind and body. She will teach you how not to be nervous and to control yourself.

I already wrote a lot about meditation, so I will not repeat myself. Follow the link and read.

By doing meditation, you will find an incredible thing called the greatest rest power. You will never fuss, but you will succeed. You will stop making mistakes because you will have a clear consciousness, not clouded by a fussy mind. If you want to, then meditate.

Be sure to read about fortitude.

Following these four points, you will cease to be nervous forever and will be calm in any situation. But this, I repeat, in the long run. The result will not come immediately. But I assure you, it's worth it.

That’s all for today.

See you soon friends.

Be calm and everything will be fine.

And finally, calm music to relieve stress:

Do you often worry about trifles? Even if these are important periods in life, being upset and cheating yourself is not the best behavior at this time. How, then, to calm down and stop being nervous? Is this question out of your head? Further in the article you will find secret tricks from practical psychologists with extensive experience on how to learn this.

Try to get distracted

This method works great when you have nowhere to run. You are in a trap that pisses you off. It looks like a cage in a zoo for a wild animal. In a person’s life, for example, it’s at a working meeting where the leader decided to report to you about and without.

You can’t do anything special in this situation: to leave slamming the door is not an option, if you value your workplace, and even if you start a dispute and begin to make excuses, it won’t end in good. Therefore, gather all your strength into a fist and find something that can mentally distract you.

For example, consider what other employees are wearing. Do these things suit them or do they look better in what they were wearing yesterday?

Leave a setting that excites

On the contrary, if there is such an opportunity, then the best way to calm down is to leave the annoying situation. Did something hurt you at a party with friends, visiting your parents, or did you just walk around the Internet and stumble upon a blatantly unfair comment?

The best thing you can do is get up to say goodbye and leave or close the page. As they say out of sight - out of mind. When we step aside from any factor, regardless of whether it positively affects us or negatively, we cool towards it.

Drink a glass of water

When a person becomes ill, the first thing they are offered is a glass of water. Have you ever wondered why a glass of water? Water has healing properties for our body. The norm of water consumption per day is 2 liters for an adult.

But few people follow this rule. Therefore, dehydration appears. But usually, since in everyday life we \u200b\u200bdo not listen to our body, no one notices signs of dehydration.

In general, water is a medicine, both from physical ailment and from mental. It starts the process of self-rehabilitation in the body.

Physical exercise

Many people already know about this method. No wonder people go in for sports, instead of drinking alcohol or cigarettes to relieve stress. And by the way, it helps a lot. This also includes cleaning the house, hand washing clothes, working in the garden, sorting out rubble of domestic rubbish, walking.

Contact with water

Even such a simple procedure as washing dishes can relax your stress. Pouring clean water, making dishes clean associates that your thoughts become cleaner. All the bad thoughts that made you nervous go away. Also suitable for taking a shower, bath, going to the bathhouse, sauna or swim in the river, the sea.

Do something interesting

To stop chasing thoughts in your head it’s enough to come up with a fascinating activity. What are you interested in? Are you crazy about reading detective stories? Or do you like to cook delicious gourmet dishes? Anything will do, which can switch your attention from an annoying situation into a positive direction.

Case study:

Oksana, tell us more about your problem.

I don’t know how to stop worrying. This begins because of any nonsense, and if the occasion is serious, then I’m only sitting on the valerian ... The therapist wrote out a sedative during the passing of the GOS and the diploma. But it didn’t help much, only they got sleepy from these pills.

Oksana had a pronounced predisposition to a nervous state. As a result of hard work, now she has become a different person.

- Thanks to my psychologist. I learned to abstract from my experiences, and music lessons helped me in this. Since childhood, I dreamed of playing the piano, but only now I realized it.

Review the situation with a positive key

Hassle causes us only negative. There is no time at work to go on a legal break, and you still have to stay up late at no extra charge, your passion has cooled and stopped paying attention. In a word, many such examples can be given.

But if you think even deeper, then in everything you can find at least a drop of the positive. For example, at work - you get a valuable experience that you can’t buy for money. And even if in this company you cannot work with a normal schedule, there is always the opportunity to get a different one, since you already have a lot of knowledge and practical skills.

The fact that dear is no longer in her arms is, of course, a painful event, but on the other hand it is a chance for you to shake oneself and change everything, to resume your warm relationship. If it doesn’t work out, then it’s just not your person and there’s nothing to lose time with him.

There are many people who are really all bad

This is a great way. If you master this skill to change your thoughts, then with time you will be much less worried about trifles. There are starving children in poor countries, there are orphans who grew up without parental love and affection, there are people with disabilities who are unable to care for themselves. But isn’t it all so bad for you?

Use the power of humor

Laughter makes our existence easier and more enjoyable. And so what if you are afraid to make an important report in front of a large audience?

To worry about this is absolutely pointless. Better think how funny it will be if everyone in the audience is sitting in their pajamas or in even more ridiculous outfits. This approach will certainly reduce the percentage of your anxiety.

To calm down you need to cry ...

If laughter does not help, then cry ... Tears well relieve nervous strain. Together with water, harmful substances from the body, formed from stress, exit.

There are people who start to cry is not so easy, even if the situation is deplorable. In this case, think about how unhappy you are. In paints, mentally describe to yourself the whole tragedy of the existing picture.

Start counting sheep

This is a familiar way to fall asleep with insomnia. But also it is effective and if you just need to relax. Count either lambs, or just to 10, 50, 100. Slowly, deeply inhaling and exhaling.

Tell about your grief

It seems like empty chatter can help? But actually it helps. If you do not have an interlocutor who with dignity and patience listens to all your complaints, then just say everything that has boiled out loud for yourself. Or else an option - write on paper.

Nervous is just a habit

To begin with, in order to learn how to cope with shaky nerves, it should be understood that it is only our habit to react to everything in this way. Or in extreme cases, problems with the nervous system. But both the first and the second are easier to handle than you can imagine.

The first step is to understand the nature of tension. When our hands sweat and shake, our voice trembles, our head becomes dizzy and other signs of anxiety, then the concentration decreases and we become unable to adequately perceive the situation, to react normally to what is happening. Therefore, naturally desire to get rid of this behavior.

Nerves are just our reaction to events that we don’t really like. And you can react differently! And which reaction to choose is up to you. Or at least learn how to choose. It is realistic for each person to minimize their predisposition to restless motives.

Remember what reasons do you usually get nervous? Do they really threaten your life and is it worth it to be so upset even if we assume the worst outcome? Most often, our experiences are not worth a damn. Therefore, perhaps you should not even worry in vain?

How to stop worrying about nothing?

Late for work? Stuck in traffic? Broke the heel? But life does not end there, right? :) Think about your global plans, dreams and goals. Doesn't this auspicious morning matter in your life story? Correct: NO! So you should not concentrate on it.

Calm down before the exam without pills

Is there an important event on your nose: an exam, a wedding, or a diploma defense? This is exactly the moment when you have to start training not to succumb to your excitement.

That's because you have such a responsible event ahead, and therefore you need to keep yourself in control. After all, if you are calm, then everything will go like clockwork. And if you succumb to anxiety, then only because of this will lock everything up.

First imagine the worst that can happen. It seems not so scary, even if this happens? You will still be alive and well. Presented? Now tune in to success. How everything goes will depend on you and not on anyone else. And you can! For this, breathing exercises will be listed below.

Inhale, counting to 4
Hold your breath for 2 counts
Exhale for 4
Do not breathe in 2 counts
Then again in a circle

If you can hold your breath for more time, double the intervals. It is necessary to breathe not by the chest, but by the stomach. Inhalations, exhalations by the stomach soothe slow down the heartbeat, which accelerates at the time of anxiety. If you do this, then after a couple of minutes you will feel that you were able to remove the irritation.

How to behave in an important meeting

If you still can’t really pull yourself together, try to portray calm. This simple exercise will help you achieve inner peace too. No wonder they say, to improve your mood, start smiling through strength. And then you will notice after a while that you really want to smile, and today is not so bad.

Watch your behavior. How do you usually behave when worried? Tugging a handkerchief, biting your nails? This behavior should never be. Start to control yourself - thus concentrate on yourself. And concentration will already give you peace of mind.

Do not hurry. Even if you are late, do not panic and rush. This will unbalance you again. It only seems that if you start to rush, you will gain time. In fact, you can win a little, but you can say goodbye to calm.

After meeting

But if I said so ... It was necessary to do so ... Throw these thoughts out of your head. The moment has already passed and it makes no sense to return to it. After all, nothing can be changed. Better spend time on more useful things.

The best way to stop being nervous is not to create a reason for this.

You ask, do I create them myself? In many cases, this is exactly what happens. We give a simple example. The student does nothing from session to session, as they say, he lives happily. But when the time comes for exams and tests, he has to tight. And the stress begins such that some do not withstand.

But if he approached this issue with his head, he could have neutralized the impending troubles. After all, if a person is prepared, then armed. This does not mean at all that it is about becoming a nerd to everyone and not crawling out of the library.

But about a reasonable allocation of time and at least some preparation between sessions. This principle will help you not only increase stress resistance, but also achieve great success in life.

After breaking up

Parting with a soul mate is one of the most difficult periods in the life of any person. And here it is already not easy enough to pull yourself together and not to worry. The condition is such that the soil leaves under the feet, you feel like a bear in the rain from a nursery rhyme ...

Depression sets in and the desire to hide from the whole world, hiding in a corner, falling asleep and not waking up to a more joyful period in life. But you can survive any trouble, and we’ll do it now.

Stop blaming yourself

Especially women, but men too, after breaking up, begin to blame themselves. To think that they all did wrong was not wise and understanding enough. In general, they ruined everything. Of course, your share of responsibility for this is. But the partner also made his efforts to this. Therefore, stop talking to yourself, tormenting yourself with remorse and breathe deeply and freely. What happened cannot be changed, but a useful lesson can be learned from this.

Start life with a new sheet, cross out everything old from life and throw out his things

When the first wave of mental pain subsides, start thinking about a new life. As a symbol of this undertaking, use the rite of destruction of memory of the former beloved. It sounds a little creepy, but this is a necessary step in order to free up space in the apartment and head for new achievements.

Think about your goals again

It's time to rethink your vision of life and yourself in it. What are your goals? Do you want to create a family or develop a business, advance in a career? What is in the first place for you. Or do you want to be a freelancer - a traveler and travel the whole world. The faster you decide, the easier it will be for you to make new friends.

More about

Before bedtime

There are several ways to get rid of insomnia and obsessive thoughts before going to bed:

Turn on relaxing music (for meditation or classical)
Do some stretching exercises from a yoga course
Try exhaling through the left nostril. This helps to relax the sympathetic nervous system, and at the same time the work of the brain.
If annoying thoughts and feelings do not allow you to sleep peacefully, then try writing them all down on paper. Do this in as much detail as possible, then going to bed, they will let you go.
Exercise or take a walk before bedtime.
Meditate. Concentrate on your inhalations and exhalations or imagine how you put your obsessive negative thoughts into a garbage bag, and your consciousness is freed from the load.
Take a bath with lavender and chamomile aromatic oils.
Read verses from memory. It will distract you from bad thoughts.

During pregnancy

The psychological attitude is the most important component of all methods of dealing with the nervousness of a pregnant woman. Expectant mother should understand all responsibility for her child. You should not worry about problems and troubles that are not related to your situation. Let the whole world wait while you give birth to a healthy baby. In the meantime, there is a husband and other relatives who can tackle everyday problems.

Limit viewing negative information - also quite an important part. A lot of negative news pours on us from TV, radio and other media. Your task is to stop all this. Since it will definitely not add a positive mood and calmness.

Foot massage is a very useful procedure for women during the expectation of a child. After all, a big load goes to the legs, and the massage itself relaxes well.

Herbal teas with a calming effect are what the lady needs in her position. You can use chamomile, sage, valerian, motherwort, mint.

Vitamins - it’s no secret that vitamin deficiency can cause stress and mental disorders, especially when you need to replenish a complex of vitamins for two.

Moderate physical activity perfectly relieves nervous anxiety. Yoga for pregnant women can be done right up to the birth.

Drawing - this method of stress relief is not familiar to many. But despite this, it is very effective. Even if you are far from Picasso, try to express your mood in the picture. And you will be pleasantly surprised.

Preparing for a baby
Start buying the necessary things for the future baby, or even knit booties or hats with your own hands. This lesson will distract you from sad thoughts and send you in a positive direction.

So, before you are super-killer ways to calm down and stop being nervous. It remains only to begin to apply them. If your situation is somewhat more complicated and you need the help of a specialist, then welcome! The right and shortest way to solve the created problem will always help and prompt you.

Not always unconscious desires are realized by us. When we get the opportunity to realize them, we get pleasure, satisfaction. Not realizing our desires, we are in poor conditions, including nervous, worried.

How unbearable it all is! I am constantly nervous and jerking. Psyche about and without. Everything is bad - my daughter does not obey, I do not have time, my friend failed, people are dumb, they are not doing what is needed. Everything falls out of my hands ... I worry about every trifle, sedatives have not helped for a long time. How can I calm down ?!

How to stop being nervous and become calm? We understand with the help of System-vector psychology.

Man is his desire

And why, in fact, are we nervous? Two main reasons can be distinguished.

Because we don’t get what we want.
Because we expect one thing from people, and we get another. We try to “push” others, but nothing comes of it. We are losing control and cannot cope.

How to calm yourself in such circumstances?

And what do we actually want? And how does knowing this help you stay calm in any situation? As Yuri Burlan shows at the training "System-Vector Psychology", a person is his unconscious desires. Groups of desires and properties for their realization are called vectors. Not always unconscious desires are realized by us. When we get the opportunity to realize them, we get pleasure, satisfaction. Not realizing our desires, we are in poor conditions, we get frustration.

How to stop being nervous? - Fill your desires

A poor state - when a person twitches and gets nervous - most often occurs in people with skin and visual vectors. To understand how to be calm, consider them in more detail.

The world ceases to be incomprehensible and unpredictable for you. All your states also become clear, moreover, you learn to see what needs to be done to feel good, and the question becomes clear to you,.

Systemic-vector psychology - knowledge of our unconscious desires and why we are in this world. Give yourself the opportunity to live in joy. Discover new spaces by knowing yourself and other people. Start with the free online training System-Vector Psychology, which will be held shortly. Sign up.

“Self-flagellation, self-hatred, misunderstanding and intolerance towards family and friends, and towards all people, have passed. I stopped being nervous, afraid, annoyed. I had a huge interest in life, in people, in knowledge. A feeling came to me that I was a completely normal person, and before that I had doubted it very much, felt inadequate. ”

“Changes occur imperceptibly, but obviously, you become a different person. You react calmly to what used to cause irritation and anger, it has become interesting to watch people and you get great pleasure from communication. ”

The article is based on the training " Systemic Vector Psychology»

Hello everyone, friends!

In this article you will learn how to stop getting nervous all the time for any reason, for trifles, trifles, at work and at home. The following methods will help you calm down and feel good.

Many people are very often and very worried for various reasons: circumstances, events and problems that arise in their way. And this is not strange!

But at the same time, nerves negatively affect the body and carry colossal flesh to stomach ulcers, strokes and other serious diseases of internal organs.

And when old problems and difficulties are solved, a person begins to worry about others, which saves him from the full joy of life. And so you need to learn and control yourself in order to prevent the possibility of getting nervous for any reason.

Today I’ll tell you not just how not to get nervous or stop doing it for a while, but how to remove and eliminate this condition in yourself in order to remain morally stable in any difficult situation.

How to finally stop getting nervous for any reason?

1. Solve problems as they arise.

No matter how trite this phrase sounded. I give 100% that you do not use it constantly. You need to solve problems that require it at the moment, otherwise you will simply burst! Never at any time, attempts to solve everything and immediately brought no result.

If you think about all the past troubles, defeats, and that something can happen somewhere somehow and soar about it, trying to influence, then you will only worsen your emotional state. Something happened, you don’t need to sit and get nervous, but it is better to concentrate your attention on how you can solve this.

2. Live in the compartment of today.

No need to worry about what happened and what will happen. What matters is what will happen at this moment. I'm not saying that you need to live one day (although happy people do it), you definitely need to make plans, strive to achieve them, but this is not about that.

It is important to understand that in order not to destroy your nerve cells, you need to give yourself as much as possible to today, and to live it is useful and of high quality for yourself and others. And then there will be no reason to worry.

3. Collect all the facts and analyze them.

Each of us is nervous for his specific reasons, in order to eliminate this, write down on your separate sheet of paper all sources of anxiety, all that disturbs you and gives rise to this feeling. After compiling a detailed list, analyze each item individually. Find the causes and roots of your concern.

And when you have found, immediately begin to act in the direction of solving the problem, because of which you are nervous, if of course you personally or indirectly can affect them ... If not, then ...

4. Accept the inevitable.

Perhaps such a situation, event, incident, which you can not influence in any way. And in this case, you just need to accept the situation as a given, as something that cannot be changed in any way.

For example, if you kept money in dollars, and its value fell sharply, then here you will not be able to strongly influence, unfortunately, its rapid growth in price, because it depends on a huge number of factors.

Or, for example, at the university you tried to pass the test by 5, but you passed by 4 and retake is no longer possible, it was the last day. Or lightning fell on your lawn in the country and completely crushed your apple tree. Yes, all this is not pleasant, but nothing can be changed. The only way to save your nerves is to accept what has already happened or will happen as inevitable.

Remember, "If water has leaked, then it is no longer possible to grind grain with its help."

5. Identify what could be the worst.

In a situation where it is difficult to somehow control yourself, and not be nervous at all because of what can happen, the best method is to determine what can happen in the worst case. And when you understand and accept it, most likely it will not be so bad and catastrophic.

For example, when I was 19 years old, I first earned quite serious money for me at that time and decided to invest it in business.

And I understood the risk of my investments, and yet I made up my mind (the amount was very significant for me, I won’t disclose it, but I’ll say that it would be clear that I could live 1 year without working and not denying myself anything).

And at that moment I said to myself: "the worst that can happen is that I will lose this money." I invested, and the investments did not pay off, more than I lost them all. But if I walked and was nervous, it would be better if I didn’t feel better. And this technique helped me a lot to prevent this. I advise you to use it.

By the way, about that. how to control myself, I will soon write a separate article and video, therefore, I advise you if you want to know how to do this all the time.

6. Get busy.

Any business that is interesting, entertaining, or about something that may need to be done around the house, for example, comforts and distracts you from stressful situations. If you’re in one, switch to some activity and this will help you. stop getting nervous.

7. Do not worry about the opinions of others.

Believe me - do not do this. Many worry about what others will think of them. But in fact, most of you ... ... do not give a damn, they have enough of their own worries to think about you more. So you can do what you want, naturally within the framework of a reasonable course. By the way, it helps yourself a lot, so use it and don’t worry.

8. Do not expect others to meet your expectations.

Often parents, relatives, friends, acquaintances, couples expect from each other exactly what they would like, those qualities that are not there, those actions. which are not committed. In general, you do not need to be angry with them that they are not the way you would like to see them. After all, we are all different and you are not perfect either.

Do not find fault with the little things and worry about the fact that something is not right in a person, because an adult cannot be changed ... unless .... by the way, in a separate article ... so if you want to know how to make a person be like Do you want or do what you need, then stay tuned so as not to miss this and other interesting articles.

9. Do not invent a problem for yourself.

It happens that, in anticipation of an event, we start to turn on the imagination strongly, wrap ourselves up with thoughts about what might happen, come up with the worst options and start to get very nervous about them.

If you really can’t change this in any way, then stop worrying (remember the first tips). You have already done everything in order to get a result, or even if not everything. that action is done! What will happen. it will be. You need to understand this and relax.

10. Accept that you are not perfect.

If you do not like yourself, then this is only a minus to you, because in yourself you will always find flaws - in height, weight, appearance, mind, character, etc. But do not worry about this, because no one is perfect, neither you nor I, you need to agree and accept.

Along with this, no one forbids you to improve, develop, improve external physical data and internal qualities.

Of course, this is far from all the advice that I would like to give, and therefore in the following articles I will continue to talk about how to stop worrying, worry and start living fully without worries, at least 10 more tips that you should learn about and which you also help, already in the head.

Absolute calm - this is the state of our body, which is considered to be the norm. With him, a person is relaxed, can fully control himself, adequately assess the situation, comprehend what is happening and make informed decisions. Not all people experience such calmness, especially in non-standard life situations, including during communication. Thus, the question arises, how to stop being nervous during communication and learn to control yourself? Our tips will help solve this problem.

The words "no need to be nervous" well help bring a person to a normal state of rabies.
Stas Yankovsky

Where does nervousness come from?

Nervousness occurs when irritation factors appear. They may be different, but as soon as they begin to affect a person, the latter loses concentration and all his mental and physical energy is turned towards these same stimuli, switching all attention to themselves.

At the same time, a priori nervous excitation cannot be considered a 100% deviation from the norm. On the contrary, it is necessary for a person to recognize positive or negative situations in life and to react to them or avoid them. But since it can be difficult to stop being nervous during communication, and this condition is uncomfortable, it is important to be able to get rid of tension.

The response to nerve stimuli should always be adequate. If the nervousness is excessive, then this already becomes a serious problem. Nervous tension turns into stress, and entails serious consequences on the mental and physiological level.

For whom is excessive nervousness dangerous?

Young people are most affected by nervousness, because their psyche still cannot cope with everyday stresses. But even at a young age there are people who easier and easier to tolerate problem situations, and there are those whose nervous system is excessively vulnerable. It is this category of people most often experiencing problems in relationships with other people, communication, self-realization.

Communication is a fundamental process in the formation of personality, a necessary condition for any development. That is why excessive nervousness and embarrassment in communicating with others is a serious problem, due to which there is a lack of understanding, inability to concentrate on the subject of discussion, lack of satisfaction from the conversation and, as a result, narrowing of the circle of communication.

At an early age, this situation is considered as natural, but over time, if the problem persists, difficulties worsen and a person cannot harmoniously integrate into society, realize himself, develop. That is why it is important to take care of reducing nervousness, until the complete disposal of it.

Why do we get nervous when talking?

The reasons for this condition may be different. Nervousness appears when we only make acquaintance and do not know the person with whom we have to communicate. There is a natural situation of fear of rejection or misunderstanding.

This moment of nervous excitement lasts only for a while, until we get used to a stranger and define common interests. If for some people this slightest stress can pass completely without a trace, then people with a more vulnerable psyche continue to perceive a person with some fear and this becomes an obstacle to conversation.

The next cause of nervousness may be the status of the person with whom you should communicate. If we have to talk with the boss, strict father, man or woman, to whom we do not feel sympathy. Each of them causes you certain emotions - irritants that can lead to tension, fear or constraint.

How to stop being nervous?

Of course, no one will give you a universal recipe for how to stop being nervous when communicating. If there is a problem, then we must deal with it comprehensively and understand the reason. Often, it lies precisely in the fact that a person is afraid to be misunderstood or rejected.

A self-sufficient, self-confident person who knows how to listen and also knows how to clearly convey his thoughts to the interlocutor, whatever he may be, will probably never encounter the problem of nervousness during communication. That is why you need to work on yourself, be open to other people and expand your circle of acquaintances in order to gain experience in various situations in communication and be able to respond to them.

It is also important to be able to evoke positive emotions in the interlocutor and are not afraid to be misunderstood or rejected. In this case, you can safely talk on different topics, without experiencing absolutely no difficulties and without being subjected to any stress. Well, if such arise, then you either stop communicating with a person, or reduce it to a minimum.

It is important to understand that we cannot be liked by everyone, without exception. Some people are more active in communication, more open and interested in new acquaintances, while others are closed and prefer to discuss less.

A few rules to help reduce nervousness:

Whatever you have to communicate with, always remember the purpose of the conversation.
Know how to listen to the interlocutor and always give him the opportunity to speak.
Find something in common and try to show sincere interest in that area of \u200b\u200bthe interlocutor’s life that is at least somehow interesting to you.
Don't be afraid to ask questions, even if you are completely unsure of what to ask.
Be attentive to topics that are incomprehensible to you and all the more unpleasant, no matter how much you want to succeed in communicating with the person you need.
Never be imposed on people who do not show any initiative in communication.

Work on yourself

Get ready for communication always. To enjoy communication, you yourself must have enough interests, comprehensively developed. By reducing the number of topics that are not clear to you, you can easily find the subject of discussion and talk with people of different ages. Thus, nervousness will not be the place, and you can safely share your knowledge.

Avoid empty talk, gossip and gossip. Try to share knowledge, experience, ideas. If a person is pleasant to you and your sympathy is mutual, excitement and constraint during communication will disappear. Take it into service!

Video: How to overcome fears in communication?

How to stop being shy

Shyness to one degree or another is characteristic of each person. However, if your shyness is a stable trait of character, and, in addition, interferes with you, then you must immediately start a fight with it. Otherwise, such increased shyness can lead to the fact that your life plans may be violated.

First of all, you need to deal with the causes of your shyness. Think about what you are not comfortable with, and what has become a reason for embarrassment? No matter how complicated the problem is, it is solvable. If the matter is in your appearance - it is as easy as shelling pears. Change your wardrobe and hairstyle.

If the matter is in slight speech defects, then only a specialist will help you to cope with this. If you consider yourself a boring interlocutor (or, worse, they tell you about it in plain text), then reading can help you - be up to date with the news and it will be much easier for you.

If you don’t see any direct reason for shyness, then most likely you are just used to consider yourself shy. Here you can help a kind of psychological "fitting" on yourself the image of a confident person. Begin to lead confidently and openly at home. Train your walk. Give a speech (you can do it yourself, there are a lot of tutorials on the network). Over time, you will feel that you are able to behave as confidently among others.

You can take as an example any of your friends if you think his behavior is quite relaxed. Carefully study how this person behaves in various situations, and try to copy his behavior - this is certainly not necessary to be shy. This is the case when imitation will only benefit you.

Video: How to stop being nervous? 10 proven ways

There is another psychological trick. Find an even more closed person than you, and try to lead him. That is, to become his leader, which will help him become more confident. This practice will help you and yourself become more confident in yourself, and pull up your comrade.

Another method is to imagine the most negative consequences from your own actions (or inaction). What is so terrible to happen if you are denied or rude? Get ready for the fact that everything will be bad, and relax in this regard. In the end, acceptance will help you better relieve resentment, and you will become more self-confident.