The feeling that no one needs. What if no one needs you at all
People have such an inexplicable feeling that "nobody needs me." The feeling is so strong and causes such an internal “bias” that no matter who you come into contact with, you see that people just don't give a damn about you, that you don’t need any living soul, not even “friends” and your wife, and if you need so they need something from you, You no one needs himself. Everything good, pleasant and just normal that happens when communicating between people is simply not perceived and not felt. Over time, these constant "betrayals" only accumulate, and eventually hatred arises. How else to respond to you?
This is a colossal veil, absolute. And the reason for everything - a big scar in the soul - resentment. Children's resentment. Resentment, on the most expensive and important person - Mom. Very often it’s an offense that comes precisely from “mom”. Over time, a person grows up, and resentment ceases to be personified. Those. a person is simply in a state of resentment. Severe condition, inadequate.
This is exclusively a problem for people with the anal vector. Firstly, only they can be offended, and secondly, insults of this kind are simply a stop for them. Nothing, I'll wait until next time. And it doesn’t matter that there will be no next time.
To begin to understand what the anal vector is, and how resentment arises in it. Then you need to work hard to understand how people with other vectors, for example, with the skin one, are rearing in us, anal people. Slightly abstract yourself from your beloved. (Read why mom is the most important person for an anal baby)
Here is the cry of the soul from one blog:
Depression dragged on. For six months now, the loneliness that I love so much has been slowly destroying me. I’m in contact with a dozen people every day, but none of them need me. I’m constantly looking for new acquaintances, but I don’t need new friends either. I’m looking for old acquaintances, but they don’t even remember me.
Sunday again. In the morning you wake up and understand that nobody needs you. To feel the presence of someone, you take a book and go to the park. But walking young mothers only reinforce the feeling of your uselessness. After all, do you remember that the girl whom you loved so much calculated that you need an nth amount to support your family. Otherwise, the family does not need you. After the park you go to the cinema. But even if you are not walking alone, you will still have to think about the film and discuss its meaning and implication alone. People around are bored of hearing what you think. They do not need your thoughts caused by viewing the picture. They don’t need you.
Another work week. It would seem that at work you are loved and appreciated, but they only need your skills. They don’t need you. You want to learn new things, generate ideas, but nobody needs this. You are considered the cog of the mechanism, and all your ideas are funny and useless. And no one will help in difficult times. Ready to just substitute the bandwagon. Because nobody needs you there.
You go to training, but as if you are doing it alone. No one called and asked why you were gone for a week. No one will ask. They don’t need you either.
Holidays, gifts ... You painfully ponder what to give to someone. Substitute yourself in their place. Remember every conversation, every hint. And from a dozen, you choose what is truly worthy of the name of the gift. You ride a few days to find him. Proud that your gift will be remembered. And in return they give you some muck that will gather dust and cause only pain. Or even give money. Or even forget. Because no one thinks of you. Nobody needs you.
No one cares when you feel sad. You only find yourself smiling, scattering compliments and helping everyone in a row. But once you open up and talk about what's bothering you, you become unnecessary. Pain comes when you are advised to work on yourself, make money, buy a cat. It only strengthens the belief that nobody needs me.
There are no friends at all. I am always ready to go at any time of the day to any end of the city to help or support a person, but no one will come to my request. How much you need to help a person, give advice, solve problems for him, so that he becomes a friend. I am always ready to help with joy and sacrifice myself. But no one will sacrifice themselves for me. Nobody needs me.
Again no girl. Not for a long time. Occasionally you find someone, but in spite of all the good things you bring to her, no matter how many gifts you make and how much you entertain her, she will not come if you get sick. A couple of dry tips on the phone and all. You have to make raspberry tea yourself. After all, she does not need me.
When a man cries, this is a terrible sight. Vaguely remembered this process from distant childhood. But when several times, half an hour before the start, the girl cancels the cultural program, the plans of which you hatched for a whole week. When you are constantly advised where to go on a picnic or what cafe to sit in, but they never invite you. When you agree to buy rollers on the first warm days, parachute, go on a weekend trip to the sea, etc., and then give up everything ... It’s not possible to keep it to yourself. Especially if this happens several times a week. Especially if at this moment you freeze from high temperature. Especially when you realize that nobody cares about all this.
Mother should help. But she constantly reproaches me for everything, adding to the end the interrogative-affirmative phrase "who needs you."
I went through all the contacts in the mail, all my colleagues, all my friends. No one can send the message that I wrote. No one will read it and help.
The phone is silent. It is silent almost constantly. Occasionally he calls and says that someone needs something from me. And nobody needs me ...
it’s just that nobody needs me, and if it’s needed, it’s only because even when I have a wife, children, friends and even such an important thing as a company of friends with beer.
They don’t need me anyway.
It is not for us to judge what is adequate and what is not ... Another's soul - darkness.
This is not true! Shine a flashlight here. Then put the grudge on the sofa and set the clock for her to see how life begins to scribble before her year after year.
Date: 2015-03-07
Hello readers of the site.
When a person feels that nobody needs him, negative thoughts flash in his head and the question arises: . In fact, it is very difficult to realize. Some people easily perceive this fact. “Yes, nobody needs me, well, okay, I’m missing myself”. Other personalities are very worried about this. They do not want to feel alone. So what then to do?
Once I read one interview of an actress from a television program "TV family". She shared one phrase the director told her: “Nobody needs anyone in this world”. At the university, our philosophy teacher said: “You probably noticed yourself that no one except your parents needs you”. My classmate really saw it. She said: “I noticed that everyone doesn’t give a damn about me except my parents”. And when I was in school, one of my friends from parallel classes tried to commit suicide. The reason for this: lack of friends and a feeling of loneliness. Why am I all leading this? And the fact that you should not bother so much with this.
All of us are more or less lonely. Even people who have a family and successful businesses, they feel unnecessary and lonely. This feeling arises constantly, and not only for you. I myself sometimes feel lonely and no one unnecessary. But I understand that this is not so, and in this world I am not the only one. This awareness helps me live happily and joyfully every day.
Einstein once said: “Strive to be meaningful, not successful.”. Feeling significant is important to any person. Most lack this feeling, lack love and warmth. But what did you do to be a significant person for others? There are people who want to have everything, but do nothing at the same time. You can’t make many friends sitting at home, you can’t find a boyfriend or girlfriend if you don’t do anything for this. You always need to act, and actively. Learn to communicate with people. This skill will help you build relationships. If you act, then thoughts like: "How to live further if nobody needs you?" definitely will not arise.
Quite often, this question arises after parting with a loved one. Women are very painful when their boyfriend or husband leaves them. They convince themselves that no one else needs. I will not lie to you that this really happens. Some girls after parting or divorcing for many years can not find their chosen one. And this happens because the person is too fixated on finding someone. The behavior of such girls feels obsessive. Nobody likes obsessive people. Such people are rejected in most cases. Learn to communicate with people, become a self-sufficient person. Check out the book section for help.
I advise you to get animals. Here they really help get rid of loneliness. They will definitely need you, especially if a dog appears in your house. They always welcome the owner when he comes home. The feeling is very pleasant when you see that at least some being is happy that you have come. I gave such advice in the article:.
Get out into the light more often. Some people, when depressed, begin to spend their time sitting at home in the room. And some people are immersed in the virtual world, sitting for days on social networks. Under such conditions, the feeling of loneliness and uselessness only intensifies. Be sure to go out into reality, communicate with people, do useful things. Only interaction with other people will help you feel you are a necessary and useful person.
But there is such a category of people that even among people feels lonely. Even celebrities feel lonely. To such people, I advise you simply to stop wrapping yourself up with such thoughts. Nobody owes you anything, and you owe nothing to anyone. Each person has his own business up to his neck, and they have no time to remember all the people in their lives. As a last resort, visit a psychologist. You may have a psychological illness.
Depression is one of the most devastating. And, unfortunately, it is not so rare. Especially often it happens in women. They ask it in terrible hours of loneliness: “How to live further? How to live if nobody needs you? Maybe then it’s better not to live at all? ”
A new love will help to forget him ...
Honestly, this is a rhetorical question. A person may not be needed by absolutely anyone in extremely rare situations. Surely there is someone on earth who needs communication with you. But you yourself reject this communication or underestimate it. “How to live if nobody needs you?” Asks usually the one who suddenly realizes that only one person who is important to her is not needed. And it hurts to recognize this at any age: at fifteen and at twenty-eight, at forty-five and sixty-three ... In this case, only following the proverb: “Wedge with a wedge” can help. That is, one should shake oneself at this moment and go to “capture new frontiers”. Fresh love, new feelings, a lover who has appeared will surely dull the pain and plunge into the soul the understanding that a woman is once again loved, necessary, in demand. And the question will be forgotten: "How to live if nobody needs you?"
Male view on the problem of loneliness and female
But someone thought about why the question is formulated in this form: “How to live if no one needs you?”, And not this way: “How to live if no one needs you?” Why suffer from it more acutely, than men? But this happens most often because it is the fair sex who project their entire inner world on the chosen one. Men, in addition to love, usually have other priorities, such as career, friends, hobbies. So, to prevent this from happening to you, you - a woman - must take care of yourself in advance. Do not “dissolve” in your beloved without a trace. It is also necessary to secure a home front: lead an active lifestyle even after marriage, do not limit yourself to family interests, don’t lose friends, have hobbies, strive for self-improvement, read, go to theaters, go to festivals and sporting events. In no case should the loss of the meaning of life be allowed! There is nothing in the world, dearer than life - but it is granted to you. So, you are already a chosen one, and not of some ungrateful and unworthy mortal of you, but of God himself.
The death of a loved one is the most difficult test
Another question is when a close and dear person dies. This loss is hard to accept, hard to realize. It is especially painful when they lose their children ... A mother who has devoted herself to her children, after their death, feels that now there is no meaning to life. But even in this situation, the tips suggested above help. It is easier to survive the loss for those who, in addition to children, had other interests in life: their favorite work, hobbies, friends, and creativity. But if life is already at sunset, and the woman has lost all of the listed outlets, what should I do in this case? Then we will use the position “wedge by wedge”. No, in this situation no one advises looking for a lover, although this option is not excluded. But there is such a way of "survival" as helping those who are worse off than you. Lost souls often find a way to help people with disabilities, abandoned animals, suffering care, affection, love. Those whom you heat up in difficult times will respond with such a vivid reciprocal feeling that loneliness will recede into the background. And the one who really needs you will already appear in fate. Love and be loved!
In life, there come moments when a woman clearly understands: "I do not need anyone." This is not a complaint to a friend or a complaint to her husband. This is said by her inner voice, which means that her thoughts are sincere, and the pain is enormous. A sense of uselessness can arise regardless of age, financial security, number of acquaintances, family presence. At such moments, a void forms inside, and you do not see how you can correct the situation.
The embryo of this sensation, as a rule, is formed in childhood. If the parents were too busy with a career or personal life and did not devote enough time to the child, he could not talk to them, consult - already at that moment he realized that no one needed, and this feeling firmly settled inside. Then different situations can happen - job loss, divorce, and all these emotions come back again. If your problem has the same roots, try to analyze the situation. You know that your parents loved you. Perhaps they simply could not find a way to express their love, tenderness, care.
What to do?
In fact, there is not only one way out. First, do you really feel the need to be needed by someone? What does this need mean to you?
Many people live, enjoy life, satisfy their own needs, fulfill their own desires and are happy at the same time. These people are self-sufficient, they do not need the love of others, do not need to confirm their own significance. Some might call them selfish - but what's the difference? In fact, a state of loneliness is inevitable. After all, sooner or later, children will grow up and leave for their home, and there is no guarantee that the partner will not fall out of love.
So the most important thing that a person can have is to learn to appreciate and be grateful for the moments of loneliness that fate gives. After all, this is an opportunity to devote time to yourself, your interests, and development. All you need is to use the opportunities that appear correctly.
If this option does not suit you, then the other remains - to become necessary: \u200b\u200btake the first step, help solve someone’s problem, be near when you need it, develop yourself. The problem of a person who does not have a relationship with others may lie in himself. Have you seen a lot of cheerful, cheerful people that no one needs?
At the same time, gloomy and reserved people do not cause a desire to communicate with them, because with all their looks they show that they do not want to make contact. A person who smiles always attracts others. It is not surprising - after all, it seems to others that he has no problems, and they want to join this atmosphere of carelessness.
In fact, everything can be different: everyone has problems, difficult situations, questions that had to be solved yesterday. But there are people who will never show by their appearance that it is difficult for them. They know that problems attract new problems. Therefore, these people are always in a good mood - this is their habit. If you work it out in yourself, you will see how the situation changes.
The value of a person for others is measured by what he can give them. It can be knowledge, attention, care, help. Take care of yourself, master your profession to perfection, acquire the necessary skills, develop talents.
If you have something to give to someone else, you definitely need someone. The question may be that you want to be needed by the wrong people. In these cases, you need to be extremely careful - when you give endlessly without receiving anything in return, sooner or later nothing remains. And this inner void is formed, causing so much pain. From here arise complexes, experiences, a sense of uselessness. You need to leave such a relationship.
Absolutely, someone else needs you - it's time to look around. Just do not offer your soul to the first comer. Appreciate yourself, and then the person who is next to you will also appreciate you.
There are many people who need support and are important - these are both children and adults. There are various funds to help them. If you feel an urgent need to be needed, find out which organizations in your area deal with such issues. They always need people. So you will not only save yourself from inner emptiness, but also will make the world a better place, and you will also make new friends.
When you lose a loved one
Sometimes terrible events occur, after which it is difficult to recover and it really seems that nobody needs you. Sometimes dear and close people who were the meaning of life for us leave. There is nothing else left but to gather strength and live on.
Psychologists recommend finding an activity that can distract you for at least some time. It is very important not to close in four walls, but to go out. Walking will help you recover a little and understand that life has not stopped.
Olga, St. Petersburg
