What to do if a wife stops loving her husband - advice from a psychologist. Out of love with her husband, what to do

People who decide to tie the knot are sure that they have found their soulmate and are ready to live together the rest of their lives. However, years pass (two, five, ten, and so on), and the relationship cools. Often a situation occurs that the wife fell out of love with her husband and no longer experiences the tremulous feelings for him that were during the honeymoon. The touch and hugs of the once beloved person now cause discomfort or even disgust. Then the woman more often asks the question: “If the wife does not love her husband, is there any point in further marriage?”

Why do feelings go away?

The longer the marriage lasts, the greater the test of the feelings of the spouses. The birth of children, financial problems, nervous work - all this leaves its mark on the psychological situation within the family. Some spouses live by habit or by the fact that everyone lives that way, but others do not want to live married without love, and families break up.

Unloved husband in our time is not so rare. If you conduct a survey with women over 45 and ask everyone the same question: “Do you love your husband?”, Then the answers will be very diverse. Some will remember the habit, respect, duty, while others will answer directly: "It seems to me that I do not love my husband." There will be those women who generally keep silent. I would like to talk about those girls who did not answer the question. So why did they keep silent? Most likely, they no longer love her husband, but are afraid to say it out loud. They are simply afraid to change something in their life and continue to live with their unloved.

So how does it all start? It is difficult to say at what exact moment a habit replaces love. Time passes and the woman realizes that she no longer loves her husband, that he has become a stranger to her. This fact for some becomes a real tragedy, and for others a step into a new life. There are a number of reasons why women's feelings cool.

Very often couples come to see a psychologist, in which the husband suffers from bad habits. Alcoholism, drug addiction, addiction to gambling - can destroy once loving and trusting relationships. There is nothing strange if a wife fell out of love with a degrading and descending spouse. Living together becomes just awful, and as a result, the marriage falls apart.
Reproaches, humiliation, assault by the spouse also contribute to the extinction of feelings.
“I do not love my husband” women most often say after male adultery. Betrayal on his part is quite capable of destroying sincere love at one point.
A lover appeared on the horizon. The woman simply burned with feelings for him and accordingly fell out of love with her husband.
Inattentive attitude of the spouse over time can blunt feelings. The husband ceases to show attention to his wife, does not kiss her, does not call for nothing, love gives way to resentment and alienation.

A few minutes are enough for some ladies to realize that they no longer experience any feelings for their faithful, while others lack life to figure out their relationship.

With a simple test, you can quickly figure out your feelings:

Are you afraid to be alone?
Are you attracted to your husband as a sexual partner?
Do you remember him being in an unfamiliar place?
Do you often recall well-spent days together?
Do you represent yourself and your husband in a joint old age?

If you answered a few questions in the affirmative, chances are you still love your spouse.

I do not like my husband, how to live on?

“I do not like my husband, but I continue to live with him further”, a very widespread judgment of married women. Not everyone wants to change their social status and get divorced. As a rule, confident girls take a decisive step. They are not afraid to be alone, and after a divorce they quickly start a new relationship. But what prevents others from deciding to divorce? Psychologists have carefully studied this problem, and made several conclusions. First of all, the main reason “I do not love my husband, but I don’t get a divorce” is the low self-esteem of the woman. She is afraid that she will not be able to build new relationships and will remain alone for life. Also of great importance for many girls is the married status. Divorced women, especially in small towns and villages where everyone knows each other, cause condemnation and disapproval from others.

The situation is somewhat more complicated if the wife fell out of love with her husband, but the family has common children. According to statistics, this is the most common reason for maintaining a marriage in which love has not lived for a long time. Why women do this, it seems to be clear, they do not want to leave the child without a father. But does the child only need such a sacrifice? In a family where for a long time there is no warmth and affection, mutual understanding and love, you can rarely see happy children. In addition, over time, many women begin to reproach their children for not divorcing them on time, so as not to deprive their father. As a result, the children matured and started their own families, and the time for new relationships was lost.

Another reason for maintaining the marriage, if the wife fell out of love, but continues to live with her husband, is a fear of upcoming problems. To make repairs, move furniture, provide a family financially, all these and other issues do not allow to take a decisive step. Co-purchased housing is one of the main reasons to live in a marriage without love.

If you yourself can not understand your feelings, listen to the recommendations of psychologists, how to understand whether you have fallen out of love or not your soul mate.

In matters of large purchases, you have ceased to consult with your spouse.
You do not feel a reliable male shoulder nearby, there is no sense of security.
A carelessly spoken word becomes an occasion for a grand scandal.
Lack of respect for spouse. For example, he earns less than you, and you constantly point out to him. “I told my husband that I didn’t love him, and he continues to lie in my legs” - an approximate conversation with girlfriends, during which you mock the feelings of a loved one.
You stopped spending free time together. Shopping, movie or theater, you now prefer to do without it. This is a clear sign if the wife fell out of love and wants to break off the relationship.
It is difficult for you to be in the same room with your spouse;
Touch, even casual, disgusts you;
There is no sex in your family for a long time.

By the listed signs, you can find out that the wife fell out of love with her husband, and the need arose on both sides to take decisive action. Psychologist's advice on what to do if you fall out of love with your husband are as follows:

The decision to leave or stay only for you, do not listen to the opinions of friends and relatives. Only you have the right to make such a serious decision in your life.
Think about what causes your feelings to fade. Perhaps in the following respects you take this experience into account.
Talk to your husband. In a relaxed atmosphere, perhaps you will find a way out together and give a second chance to your relationship.
If you are wondering “I don’t know if I love my husband” during pregnancy, do not rush to file for divorce, most likely you just have a jump in hormones.
Seek help from a psychologist. Maybe it just seems to you that the feelings have passed, and a conversation with a psychologist will help to understand them.

Women's online forums are full of headlines "I do not like my husband, what to do?" Family relationships are so complex and inconsistent that no one knows what to expect, say, in a year or ten. If you think your feelings for your husband have cooled, do not rush to run to get a divorce. Consider the current situation, perhaps this is just a crisis of relations, and everything will pass by itself. Try to look at your man with different eyes, as if from the outside. Take a trip together, and perhaps in an unfamiliar environment your feelings will flare up with renewed vigor. If you tried all the options, considered all the possible consequences of a divorce and did not change your mind, then it should be so. Find the strength in yourself to survive this difficult period in your life, perhaps your friends will help you cope with this. Remember, no one has died from a divorce, this is only a step towards a new life.

Life is unpredictable. When everything is good in family and professional life, like a bolt from the blue, problems may arise, including divorce or dismissal. In family life, things cannot always be smooth; spouses cannot constantly be at the peak of romantic relationships and passion for each other. Often there is a decrease in attraction, a loss of romance and feelings. If the husband stopped loving, signs of what to do in this case - we will consider below.

How to sort out feelings - did he really stop loving?

After a certain period of family life, most spouses begin to cool feelings. These feelings will not necessarily remain wilted now for life, often this is a temporary phenomenon. However, it also happens that you have to come to terms with the end of the relationship. When a similar situation arises, the woman most often asks herself the question: "If the husband has stopped loving, what should I do?" In the event that circumstances have developed, it is worth first deciding: is this a far-fetched problem or reality?

Reasons for the temporary cooling of men

As a rule, cooling in men occurs due to the behavior of the wife. If the husband stopped loving, what to do? You need to understand the reasons for what happened. For example, a spouse after giving birth ceases to monitor herself, walks in a worn housecoat, after giving birth to a baby, she began to pay more attention to her baby than her husband. The spouses have different interests, and they communicate little. Also, the desire to have a close relationship is reduced, when the husband and wife are violated and, as a result, quarrels arise.

It is very good if the spouse consults with a psychologist who can correctly explain how to behave properly when the husband has stopped loving, what to do, he will give advice on how to get out of the family crisis.

The main "symptoms" of loss of husband's love for wife

It’s not so difficult to identify the “symptoms” of cooling, these are typical ones:

The husband avoids kisses, hides his eyes, although until recently he gave flowers and gave attention.
Spouse skips family dinners, although previously this was unacceptable.
He no longer shares his problems with his wife, as if access to his personal space is closed, and he prefers time spent with friends to spouses.
Finding out on the little things.
Does not call during the day, does not ask about health, what happens at home and the like.
Relations look doomed in his eyes, ignores attempts of the spouse to get close.
“Our”, “we” no longer sounds from his lips, but the pronouns “I”, “mine” - on the contrary, have become the norm.

Answering the question of what to do if the husband fell out of love, the advice of the psychologist is ambiguous, but there is one main line of behavior - calm, only calm!

Ways to develop the situation in the family

Having a warm heart and a cold mind, a wise woman will be able to go through all the difficult moments of married life without big losses. Learning about what to do if the husband has stopped loving, and comprehending the advice of a psychologist, a wise wife will come to the conclusion that depression and scandals with clarifying relationships will not bring any benefit! The husband will only begin to get more annoyed and, most likely, will try to quickly hide. You should not count on pity - this is not the feeling that affects the strength of marriage.

Active actions of the wife

After the woman calms down, it is necessary to analyze the situation, to establish a causal relationship. This will help eliminate the cause and most likely restore the relationship. In order to understand what to do if the husband fell out of love with his wife, you need to listen to the advice of a specialist. And it’s not enough just to listen to them, you need to want to change your life, to do something for this.

Campaigns to such specialists in our country are not very widespread, but you should not neglect visiting a knowledgeable professional. To build relationships, you do not need to forget about your appearance. Almost the first active action of the wife, of course, should be a trip to a beauty salon: pedicure, manicure, hairstyle, personal care tips. After that, you definitely need to buy a new thing - this greatly improves the mood.

A woman should try as much as possible to understand the reason for the separation of her husband. It can be:

falling in love with another;
revenge for insults or taunts;
the spouse became a learned book;
love passed, not love.

Return relationship

When the husband said that he had stopped loving, what should his wife do if reality is against her? Whatever happens, thoughts should only be positive! Negativity is enough. After self-calm, the second major element is patience.

Try to devote free time to your husband.
Grow a lively interest in the hobbies and work of the spouse.
Try to stay fun, tell funny stories, share your thoughts, events.
Remember the golden mean! Everything should be in moderation, no need to attack her husband with her jokes and questions.
Organize a joint trip, excursion, most importantly - impressions!
Try to find a joint hobby.
You can give your husband a little reason for jealousy, just do not overdo it!
Please the spouse with new tasty dishes unobtrusively and unexpectedly.
But remember: no imposing oneself and anything! Everything should be calm, with neat actions.
Be a fox in the good sense of the word.
Thank your husband, praise, say kind words and the fact that you need him very much (only without blackmail!).
Love yourself! The husband will love you again, the main thing for him is to understand that you are a dear, smart and beautiful, warm and affectionate wife who loves her family and him, husband in the first place.

The correct breakup

Of course, it happens that no actions on the part of the wife help, and the husband made the final decision - to leave. Then you need to make sure that everything has been done to save the family, and, having assigned responsibility to him, let go. If the husband stopped loving, what to do? You can’t keep it against your will, but you can give it an opportunity to figure it out, to be alone with yourself, even to try a new family life. In most cases, men repent.

If his repentance did not happen, then why love the one for whom you mean nothing? Happiness is the work of man, and life is very short. Live and breathe deeply, so yours is yet to come!

If it is impossible to save a family, especially if there are children in it, you should not negatively set up children and take revenge on your husband in this way. On the contrary, stay friendly, wish your husband happiness, and explain to the child that this is life and not everything in it, unfortunately, happens according to our ideas. If the husband stopped loving, what to do? In this case, remember the following truth: what is good for one case will not fit in another! Therefore, in no case should one "flog the fever" - everything must be weighed and, with a cautious approach, try to regain the relationship.

Man is not always able to control his feelings. At the beginning of the relationship they are bright, then they acquire a different shade, sometimes turning into irritation or indifference.

If a woman stopped loving her husband, what should I do? In this case, help psychologist's advice.They will be useful for men.

How to escape from thoughts about a loved one? will help you!

Psychology and reasons

Once you understand that feelings are not the same.

Awareness can come gradually or cover overnight.

There is no love anymore, but I want to find reasons why this happened.

It seems to me that I don't like my boyfriend anymore

You understand that the guy is already does not matter to you.

Or maybe it’s even unpleasant for you to be near, you avoid meetings, touches, intimate contact.

Causes:

love was not originally. There was love, interest, but the feeling was not deep and sincere;
the guy committed an offense, as a result of which love cooled down;
you liked someone else;
love goes through a stage of cooling feelings;
life, problems overshadowed all other sensations.

If love really passed, then there is no point in continuing the relationship. If the feelings temporarily cooled, then you should think about how to bring diversity to life together, to kindle the old fire.

I can not leave the girl who no longer likes

You realized that you no longer love a girl.

It would seem that this reason to leave but some power holds you together.

Options why you are still together:

habit;
you are comfortable living near;
you get some benefit;
pity - how she will be left alone will be very worried;
guilt.

The problem is that the girl feels the attitude towards her. Living with someone who does not love you is not easy.

Indifferent to her husband after giving birth

The period after the birth of the baby - one of the most difficult in a woman’s life. Cases are frequent, the appearance of disgust for her husband, the fear of becoming pregnant again.

All this greatly affects the emotional state of a woman. She has lost feelings for a man.

condition may be temporary until a difficult period passes.

The best way to understand yourself and your attitude towards your husband is to go to a psychologist.

Depression after childbirth can last only a few days, but sometimes its course is delayed, therefore ignore the problem is not worth it.

If you want to know what to do, if you fell out of love with your husband, boyfriend, then watch the video:

Husband lost interest in me

You suddenly began to realize that the feelings of the spouse are not the same. is he less attention He doesn’t give heat, but maybe he says openly that.

You will have to understand that you are not in control of other people's feelings. And the man himself is not always able to control them.

What to do?

To attempt . Become interesting for your husband again. Be active, have your own interests, hobbies, work. If you devote your life only to a man, you cease to be an interesting and self-sufficient person for him.
husband. If love has passed completely, then divorce- This is an opportunity for him and you to become happy and have a new relationship.

Take the spouse as a person, with its advantages and disadvantages, with freedom of choice.

If there is a danger of aggressive actions on the part of the spouse in a relationship, take action.

Humiliation, criticism, manipulation negatively affecton a mental state, so you can’t tolerate such manifestations.

What to do and how to be?

One of the feelings that arises when you realize that you have stopped loving - despair, misunderstanding, why is this happening.

Honesty and respect for the partner is to admit that love has passed and find a way out of this situation.

The wife says she fell out of love

Your wife said she doesn't love you anymore. Perhaps this will cause surprise, because you have been together for so long. Or a feeling of anger.

Your possible actions:

Respect for the partner’s feelings is a step towards a harmonious and happy life. Many couples live without love, but between them there is friendship, acceptance, moments that unite.

What if the wife stopped loving? Psychologist's advice:

Husband cooled to me

It is difficult for a loving woman to recognize the fact that her husband no longer loves her. The form in which he expresses this can be different: a calm conversation, aggression and a dismissive tone, sometimes it comes to accusations.

What to do:

if the husband speaks calmly, then accept the fact that his right to choose with whom to be;
if he shows aggression, criticizes without reason, then he should be avoided as soon as possible in order to maintain his own emotional and spiritual calm;
if you want to return your family, find, learn ways how to do it better.

A particular grief is the fact when the spouse finds another woman.

Do not tolerate betrayal, they cause a feeling of guilt not only among the traitor, but also from the one whom they betray.

Give yourself an opportunity first become happy and loved.

What to do if the husband stopped loving? Family Relations Coach will tell you:

Is it worth it to let a person go?

Everyone is worthy of happiness. What happens if you live with a person who does not love you - he feels dissatisfied with life, worries, you feel uncomfortable, you lack attention, reciprocity, soulfulness, there is no emotional connection.

Relationships without love negatively affect children. In such couples conflicts, domestic violence are not uncommon. As a result, two people live who could be happy.

If the partner has stopped loving you, then it makes no sense to keep him close. Of course, it hurts, because you still feel affection, do not understand how to live on when he or she is not around.

But the right approach to parting, respect for the personality of another person contributes to emotional calm and the opportunity to find happiness.

How to save marriage and family?

Family is union of two loving people.

However, it often happens that one of the spouses has feelings disappearing, while the other at the same time still seeks marriage.

Feelings destroy indifference, selfishness, consumer attitude.

How to put up?

It is likely that the spouse’s previous love cannot be returned. In this case, it remains only to reconcile and live anew. Just do it is not always easy, especially if you still have feelings.

The most important thing is to understand that other people do not owe us anything. A person is free to choose whom to love, with whom to live.

In the process you will have to go through five, but these are important steps that help better understand yourself and come to terms with the situation:

negation;
anger;
bargain;
adoption.

Relief usually occurs at the fifth stage, their duration is individual. To cope and as easy as possible to go through all the stages will help an experienced psychologist.

It's up to you to decide whether to live together, whether to try ignite previous feelings or let go of a partnerto enable both to find their happiness.

How to make it clear to a person that you no longer love him? Psychology:

And the husband is not drunk, and wealth is acquired,
And all as if in anticipation of the rain.

M. Borisova

Happiness is family and the happiness of a woman in the family is a highly ephemeral substance.

How to explain when there is love and understanding, and when they are not? How to decide for myself, I love my man with all its advantages and disadvantages, or just pretend?

What should I do if I stopped loving my husband, and there is no longer any opportunity or strength to return the severity of feelings or just warmth to my heart?

How does this happen?

This problem will not be solved on its own and will not go away with time: not in a year, so in ten years a woman, looking at a man sitting next to her, will think: "I have stopped loving my husband."

And it’s not at all necessary to make scandals, beat dishes or slam doors loudly. And the husband does not have to be an unreliable comrade with a lot of bad habits and scandalous character.

It's just that we are all people: and everyone thinks about his feelings, which tend to come and go not when it seems necessary to us.

Family crisis

The first co-lived year, as a rule, passes without clouds: a honeymoon, a romantic mood and still stormy love provide relative calm and an easy flow of the process of getting used to each other.

Partly it is this “romance” that explains why the first years are protected from the appearance of such a problem as dislike.

But the greater the burden of living together, the more difficult it is to maintain the former lightness and airiness of feelings.

There are problems:

household difficulties of cohabitation of people with different ways and habits;
relationships with new relatives (sister-in-law / mother-in-law conflict, etc.);
disagreements in the process of raising children.

Even outwardly successful relationships can be difficult, and even the ideal spouse can stop loving.

What can we say about complex people: unreasonable jealousy, nit-picking, bad habits and behavior-destroying relationships - all these additions to a beloved spouse can ruin tender and reverent feelings.

Out of love or just tired?

How to understand that she stopped loving her husband, and not “tired” or “offended”?

Only analyze, speak and try to understand first of all itself.

The relationship between a man and a woman after the birth of a child is special.

At this beautiful, but difficult moment, it is more important than ever to be together - to be a family.

But often for a woman, the needs and desires of the newborn baby become priority, and the abandoned spouse feels that it is unnecessary and goes into all serious ways.

A woman’s statement that she has stopped loving her husband after the birth of a child can be a simple consequence of neglecting her feminine principle: when the “mother” in consciousness replaces the “woman”.

Those same children often become a constraining factor for a woman when parting: “How will children grow up without a father?” But no one wants to give an answer to the question, what is growing up for children in a family where there is discord and misunderstanding.

Is it worth it to leave?

Not every woman is capable of decisive steps and changes in her life.

Leaving the family, leaving the husband is not the easiest step, especially if it’s hard for a woman to simply admit to herself: “I have stopped loving my husband - what should I do?”

Sometimes leaving is an escape not only from difficulties in communicating with a spouse, but also from oneself.

That is, this is an attempt to resolve the internal conflict due to a change in external factors: change hairstyle - change husband - change lifestyle.

Is it worth the risk of a calm and arranged life with a loving spouse for the fleeting delights of a new love?

Tolerate - falling in love?

Before, reckless or not very important, it is important to analyze your feelings, as well as simulate the consequences of such an act.

Perhaps the momentary desire is associated not only with difficulties in the character of the spouse, but also with the fading of passion and the loss of former ardor.

Maybe you should try to wait out some of the differences and send your "dislike" to your spouse in a peaceful direction.

Perhaps a strong friendship and warm understanding will grow out of it, on which you can build a much stronger and more reliable marriage than on passion and emotions.

Sincerity is the key to mutual understanding

There are practically no situations that cannot be fixed.

Of course, if this is not a clinical case with complete misunderstanding and neglect.

For a woman who has taken place, the very fact that she has stopped loving her husband can be frightening.

Some perceive this as their own inferiority, especially if they try to compare themselves with more successful relatives or acquaintances in family life.

But in such relationships there can be no examples or authorities, and focusing on someone’s experience does not always guarantee success.

Therefore, it is important to try to talk about your problems, and it is advisable to do this not only in private with yourself, but also with your spouse.

Experienced family psychologists advise to conduct confidential conversations with your spouse as often as possible, to share not only good, but also bad.

The more sincerity will be in your relationship, the easier it will be to find a way out of a difficult situation. It does not matter what the outcome will be - the preservation of relations or a break, in any case, only in this way the two will be able to maintain peaceful relations.

Look for common ground:

common interests, hobbies,
watch and discuss movies,
read each other aloud books
go on vacation together

Important: an attempt to resurrect past feelings should be sincere and desirable for both!

In a word, it’s not so much important to understand how to stop loving your husband, how much to take this fact rationally and rationally.

It is important to remember that a woman, even if she is a mother and wife, is first and foremost a personality, independent and free in decisions, bearing full responsibility for her life.

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Deciding something under the pressure of relatives, spouse or child, and even their conscience, is not worth it: only the woman herself will be in the loser.

Your life is in your hands and you need to create your own fate, despite the complexity of the decision.

And the most important advice

If you like to give advice and help other women, take free coaching training with Irina Udilova, master the most sought-after profession and start getting from 30-150 thousand:

My husband and I live for 13 years, have acquired 8 children, the age difference is 24 years. When they started to live, I was 18, and he was 42, everything was perfectly possible, but now I am 32, and he is 56 and for some reason he has become disgusting to me. And he is lazy - 8 children, and he can spend days sitting at the computer playing. I just can not when he is at home. I look at other men of my age. Maybe I stopped loving my husband.

Cheburashka

I live with my husband for 22 years, he has a third husband with me, he loves (the first died at 24 years old, broke up with the second, found in the noose 10 months later), suffered from her second husband for 20 years, loved him to hell, even when they broke up, but you can’t lift it from the grave, and the third husband blows dust all my life, tried very hard to be a good wife, mistress, friend, etc., and dreamed of the second — he was very sexy, charming, but it was hard to name our family, money for 3 years he didn’t give a ruble, but on the contrary, with the third - all the money in the house, no reveler - all his free time with his family, he loves his son, but since before, at least they were young — more or less, and now he almost doesn’t excite me, a bunch of sores, and he’s only 44. I think that if I could give him the strength of that love with which I loved my second husband, maybe he’s not I would be sick, I tried very hard, I wanted him to feel good, and I probably did a lot, but you won’t be fooled ... Sometimes I think about my lover, I want passion, normal sex, but I’m very amorous, afraid, and it becomes disgusting, I can’t live without love ... Even as a joke I suggested to disperse, but he cannot imagine life without me and his son, sometimes he I’m annoying, annoying, but I remember youth and anger pass, and I think: life passes very quickly, I need to be patient, take care of him and myself, he did a lot for me, for his family, and they started to live in 90- e, I didn’t understand how they survived, for each other it’s a mountain, and now I can’t imagine life without him, he always understood me and accepted me as I really am, and this bribes me very much, you can be yourself with him ... So you’ll think about how best: when you love or when you ...

I loved my husband madly, but not now. It annoys me a lot. I say bad words to him. I think maybe this is revenge for his betrayal? When he left me with a one year old baby. But he pleased the parents. Having married another. I just live with him for the sake of the child. And he himself does not reach for me. We have not had love for a long time. We do not make each other happy.

I have a feeling that I don’t know how to love, after giving birth I began to notice all the disadvantages of my husband, but I myself am not perfect, but when he says I want to shut up right away. When she kisses to wipe her mouth, I’m generally silent about sex, and it always aches, it hurts, it hurts. Forever sad, infuriates to horror, but for the sake of a child I endure.

Listen to the hearts, I wish you the right choice.

I realized after 13 years of living together with my husband that I did not like. He became very annoying, infuriates. I don’t want to have intimacy with him, but everything is not enough for him. The more we live, the more aggressive I became with children. He constantly yells at them even in trifles. Children admit that they are fighting dad. I am a cayalizer of our everyday life. It must be directed everywhere, prompted. I dreamed of this. I want fresh air. I want to get a divorce. Tell me what to do

My husband and I have two children. I stopped loving him after the birth of his second child. I get an intimacy orgasm as by inertia and no passion. I want a lover but conscience does not allow. Pity the kids love the folder ... what don’t know?

My husband also does not let me go, cries, and threatens, I do not know what to do with this, I want to leave, but I feel sorry for him.

Crises and difficult periods in family relationships happen in every family, even the most prosperous. Family is a dynamic education in which both partners are in continuous development. With the birth of a child and the adoption of serious joint decisions, relations of spouses develop and change. How to understand that feelings are gone forever, and what to do in this situation?

Reasons for the fading of feelings

The most difficult years of family life are the first three. In the first year, the spouses decide on whether they should live on together and get used to each other's peculiarities. By the third year of family life, a child appears in the family, and a barely settled life turns upside down.

Three years is a considerable period for which life becomes stable. For many families, stability is replaced by uniformity, and a monotonous routine can even make the most faithful and loving partner irritable and tired. After a series of bored daily activities, the negative aspects of the spouse are clearly visible. Earlier, his wife could only affectionately chide him for his sloppiness, forgetfulness or enthusiasm for computer games, but by the third year, annoying habits can be indicated with rudeness and scandal.

Otherwise, the woman suffers in silence. She, as always, does the usual housework, cleans up, cooks, smiles restraintly at her faithful, but in her head she has long been bearing it or to her parents.

External negative factors influence the decision to leave. Living with parents or their constant interference in the personal lives of spouses, financial difficulties, loss of a close friend or relative can turn a woman's mind and cause her to cool down.

The causes of loss of feelings can be very diverse. The spouses themselves must gather in them or do this together with a specialist. However, breaking up family relationships, especially long-term relationships, is a serious step, and it is not always worth taking a lead at the heart, especially since feelings can fade away only temporarily. Let us turn to the advice of a psychologist: what to do if a wife falls out of love with her husband.

How to understand that feelings have faded?

Many women cannot fully understand their feelings for their spouse. On the one hand, it is quite normal that with years spent together, feelings for a man from a storm of passion and an exciting love fall into something more measured: in respect, support, in deep resonance with each other.

Some women longing for thrills can take this condition for fading feelings. This is not true. Strong connection and mutual trust in each other is a logical continuation of romantic thrill. You should strive for such relations and value them very much, because your life partner is a person whom you can really rely on in any situation. Such a person may be the only one in your life, because it takes more than one year to build such harmony. It is only necessary to kindle the fire of former love, diversifying joint leisure.

Another thing is when everything in a man begins to annoy. His manner of dressing, his habits, facial expressions, his smell all cause deep disgust. accompanied by a sense of disgust, and the woman seeks to avoid it. Often women in this situation generally prefer to sleep alone or with a child. This is really an occasion to think about whether a wife needs such a relationship with her husband.

How can a man understand that his wife’s attitude towards him has changed? Psychologist’s advice notes several signs of female behavior screaming “I have stopped loving my husband.” Here is a list of them:

the wife avoids intimacy under various pretexts;
the spouse is interested in the life of other men, their successes and hobbies. Among her acquaintances new men appeared;
instead of spending time with her husband, the wife prefers a company of friends or loneliness;
the spouse does not share plans with her husband. Her husband’s person is no longer included in her dreams; she prefers to make decisions on her own;
a woman makes major purchases without discussion with her spouse.

There are a number of other signs that do not necessarily indicate that the wife has cooled off to her spouse, but in combination with the signs from the first list confirm this conjecture:

the woman stopped monitoring herself at home. She doesn’t care what her home clothes look like, she does not preen and does not seek to look beautiful for her husband;
attacks of jealousy to her husband become frequent, up to tantrums;
spouse ignores husband's presence at home. She does her own business, but does not seek to enter into dialogue with her husband and does not react to his presence;
the woman began to behave selfishly and rudely. She does not choose expressions when talking with her spouse and can specifically provoke conflicts in order to hurt his feelings;
household chores are carried out without enthusiasm. The spouse may continue to cook, but she does so without enthusiasm;
to make important decisions, the wife does not involve her husband in the discussion. She either solves everything silently and independently, or asks for advice from her parents or friends.

If several items from the list match the state of things in the family, you should think about

How to return love?

What if the husband realized that he had stopped loving? Psychologist's advice provides men with several ways to restore family relationships.

To begin with, it should be understood that the fire of love relationships should be maintained constantly. If you go headlong into a career and leave your wife unattended, her feelings will fade away. She will become bored with such a man who does not show attention at all and does not understand her. To maintain relationships in the family, you do not need to spend a lot of money or make crazy heroes. Sometimes it’s enough to make pleasant things: give flowers for no reason, bring coffee to bed, kiss after coming home from work, cover with a blanket in the cold. These are the positive aspects that will allow a woman to feel needed and loved.

But what if the psychologist’s advice is untimely and the wife has already fallen out of love? One of the surest ways is a frank conversation. Choose a time when both are calm and have enough time to chat. Try to calmly and patiently find out why your relationship is at an impasse. Listen to mutual criticism. Do not let the conversation turn into another scandal. Decide what you will do with the voiced flaws and how exactly you will change. Of course, we are talking about profound changes in personality, and not about “correction” for a couple of days.

If the wife decided to leave her husband because of a specific act, you need to sincerely apologize. You can make a pleasant surprise as an apology. And, of course, we need to discuss together how to correct the consequences of this misconduct. If it is a betrayal, it is unlikely that this will work, but in other cases you can try.

If the matter is the loss of emotional closeness, then the husband should become more sensitive. One should be interested in how the spouse’s day went, whether she needs help around the house. A pleasant gift after a hard working day will be a massage or a new scented foam for a hot bath.

One option is temporary separation. If the wife is determined to leave or claims that she is fatally tired of her husband’s company, offer to leave only temporarily, maintaining friendly relations. Separate life will allow you to calmly and without irritation to weigh all the positive and negative sides of the marriage and then decide whether it is worth converging again or breaking up the relationship completely.

If the wife stopped loving her husband, the advice of psychologists will tell you how to return love to the family. Family consultations with a professional save many couples. To begin with, it is enough to consult only one of the spouses - the one whose initiative is to preserve the marriage. The psychologist will help to understand the feelings of the client and (if necessary) will conduct a joint consultation of both partners.

The advice of a psychologist is necessary to understand what to do if a wife has stopped loving her husband, but there are children in the marriage. Children are most sensitive to what is happening in the relationship of their parents and suffer the most in the event of a breakdown. To save the family, or at least the psyche of the child in case of divorce, it is necessary to work with a professional psychologist of the whole family, or at least the parent who is more concerned with raising the child.

You can get psychological advice not only with a personal visit, but also in an online format. Hypnologist Psychologist