How to force yourself to do your homework when you really don't feel like it. In the footsteps of Pinocchio or how to return the desire to study In what cases the help of a psychologist is needed
Psychologist Anastasia Ponomarenko will dispel the illusions of parents and give some practical advice that will make life easier for the whole schoolchild's family.
Anxious parents often come to me with a burning question: what should be done to make the child do his homework with pleasure?
I immediately answer: nothing ... There are things that are done without pleasure - brushing your teeth, cleaning the room,. So, they just take it and do it without unnecessary emotions. Of course, there are exceptions - for example, your child is very fond of history, and reading books on a topic of interest gives him incredible joy.
But in general, to have homework as a whole, but with a joyful gleam in his eyes, is, rather, a rare exception. And it is better for a child to learn from childhood: “Not all roses are in our way of life,” as LN said. Tolstoy. There are things that need to be done and done efficiently. Give your child examples from your own life. For example, you really enjoy being the head of the sales department. You are happy to meet with clients, negotiate, wholesale goods for gigantic amounts, and in general, experience a real thrill from your work! But in the process of your favorite work, there are things that you do not like to do, but do: monthly reports, statistics, document flow. An example of their own parents - it inspires and makes you think, since mom and dad are the most significant people, and children involuntarily strive to imitate them.
So explain: homework is what you need to do, and without these tedious daily tasks, it is impossible to understand the subject of interest. There is no need to harbor illusions, try to make the pleasure of learning complete. This rarely happens, and it is not the child's fault that mom and dad drew a certain image in their heads: the beloved child, having come from school and not having time to rest, rushes to the study table and, spreading into a joyful smile, sits down at.
On the contrary, by accustoming the child to the fact that not everything in our life has to be done in a state of high spirits, you bring up willpower in the child. Will is the highest level of regulation of human behavior. And this is the main difference between man and other living beings - the presence of will. It is thanks to the presence of will that a person is able to set goals and achieve them, overcoming internal and external obstacles. It is thanks to the will that a person's choice is conscious when he has to choose from several models of behavior. will help the child to make the right choice in a situation when some "friends" put the question bluntly: do you need a drink? Come on, what are you, mama's boy? Agree, the right choice in such a situation can ward off big troubles from your child.
And to do homework (so that the child goes to do it with longing in his eyes, but without a scandal), and at the same time educating willpower, you can use the following simple rules :
1. Create an artificial connection between completing the assignment and having a pleasant pastime (for example, I will do the math and immediately go for a walk)
2. Anticipate the results of the lessons with your child. In paints, draw a brilliant answer from the child at the blackboard, how all classmates and the teacher will be delighted and surprised.
3. Explain the task to your child. Often all scandals and tantrums occur due to the fact that the child simply does not understand the meaning of the task. Help him figure this out, and perhaps your further help will no longer be needed.
4. Break the task down into short steps. After each step, praise and give your child. The best option for rest and work is 20/20. That is, 20 minutes of work - 20 minutes of rest.
5. Your child should be responsible for the results of their activities. If you worry about your homework more than he does, if you finish for him what he supposedly did not have time (or did not want), then your offspring does not have enough. If he does not see the consequences of his own irresponsibility and mischief, then it makes no sense for him to change his attitude and behavior. Stop constantly insuring and monitoring him, otherwise you will do it until his retirement.
6. Focus on results. Doesn't want to do homework? For God's sake, but the grades should be decent. Nothing develops self-discipline like responsibility for the end result, not for the process.
We live in a time when no one persuades anyone or bails anyone. Komsomol organizations, trade unions, party meetings, at which weak-willed hack-workers swore that it was “the last time,” but everyone understood that it was “the last time this week”, have sunk into the past.
Now, to be successful, to stay afloat, you need to have remarkable willpower and self-discipline. Help your child develop these qualities, and as an adult he will thank you so much.
Everyone knows that learning is not as easy as it might seem at first glance. Every day, the student has to get ready for school, sit in the classroom, memorize a lot of new information, write it down, answer in front of the whole class and write tests. But this is not the most difficult thing, since in addition to this, they have to return home, where they again continue their studies - read paragraphs, do exercises received at home, learn poems and solve complex problems. Therefore, don’t say, but teaching is a titanic work, especially for a child. There is nothing surprising in the fact that with such a tough regime, not all children can stand it, some of them start skipping lessons, not doing homework, etc. However, forcing a child to learn is not the surest way out of the situation. You need to approach the educational process carefully, and most importantly - correctly!In general, the question "How to force yourself to study" is often asked by students, since there is more control at the school desk: teachers monitor your progress, parents "push" for bad grades, and other students do not treat you with respect if you are constantly in the "losers" in terms of academic performance. In lyceums, institutes and universities, the student is in control. Since you are considered already an adult, who himself has the right to decide how to study: good or bad. However, such freedom somewhat intoxicates a young man or girl, and not everyone knows how to come to their senses in time and think about the fact that with such a riotous life they can slide down the ladder of life. And then the student asks himself a difficult, but rather interesting question: “How can I force myself to study ??”. Today you will find out the answer!
12 ways to force yourself to learn
Set the task correctly! First of all, you (the student) must correctly set yourself a task or goal. Think not about how to force yourself to learn, but about how how to start studying well, because you still, in fact, learn and will continue to learn. The formulation of the task is very important, a person is a rather strange creature, and if you force yourself to do something, then your subconscious mind will resist this, and will interfere with the planned tasks (teach lessons, listen to the teacher, etc.). Moreover, you will get much more pleasure from such disobedience than from following your goal.
If you formulate your question in a different way, for example: "How to finish this year perfectly?" or “How to start studying well this semester?”, then you will not notice how you will start looking for ways to get a good grade in school, that is, your consciousness will start working in cooperation with the subconscious, focusing on a positive result.
The psychological aspect is very important in the learning process, so try not to force yourself to learn, but look for a good reason that can change your attitude towards learning in a favorable direction. But more on that in the next paragraph.
Find the motivation (reason) to study well. As we said, motivation to learn is the best teaching method. Your task is to find an incentive that would work exactly in your case. Motivations are of a different nature, for example, some are affected by the following phrase: If you don’t start studying, then in the next semester you will be expelled from the educational institution! Although this call will not work for another person.
For most, perspective is a good motivation, but for some, long-term perspective works: If I graduate from this university with excellent marks, I will be able to get a job with a high salary and the ability to move up the career ladder. For others, the perspective should be closer and more real: If I finish the last semester well, then my father will buy a ticket to the camp, where I will go with friends for the whole summer!
We do not know what can make you learn exactly, but we know for sure that there is such motivation. Find her! In general, we would say that the incentive to learn takes one of the leading roles in learning, if it is found and used by a student, then he is able to achieve incredible success.
If you are a parent and are reading this article in the hope that you can figure out how to get your child to learn, then we would advise you to learn about his relationship in the classroom. Sometimes the motivation to learn disappears precisely because of conflicts with other children. This happens especially often with adolescents who rarely want to go to school or another educational institution.
Set up your workplace. It would seem how such a minor issue as arranging a student's workplace can affect learning, but believe me, it can radically change the speed of homework and its quality. We agree that lying on a bed with a tablet or laptop is quite pleasant to do "homework", but it is completely ineffective. Since in the supine state, a person remembers and understands it much worse, and most importantly - more slowly. This is due to the physiological characteristics of the structure of human organs. Try to make yourself a small place in the house in which you will be exclusively engaged in business related to training. A special feature of this place should be that it will not have a computer, laptop, tablet, or mobile phone. Only necessary notebooks, books and stationery (pen, pencil, eraser, etc.).
A computer or other technology can greatly distract from the educational process. After all, you have a lot of temptations: icq, skype, VKontakte, interesting sites, films, music, games, etc. Therefore, it is necessary to resort to it only in those cases when it is specifically required for the performance of a particular task.
Those who are accustomed to the fact that there should always be a computer on the desktop without it, the table seems boring and dull, we advise you to organize everything on the table in such a way that it looks beautiful and interesting: buy new bright stationery, replace a boring desk lamp, with new and original. In addition, it is better to place the table near the window so that not only daylight illuminates the workplace, but also the view from the window allows you to be distracted or, on the contrary, concentrate.
If the computer takes a lot of free time from you, but you cannot resist this, then we advise you to think about the fact that computer radiation is harmful to human health: it impairs vision, there are ailments associated with the gastrointestinal tract, and problems with the nervous system appear.
Change your clothing style. Of course, clothing cannot make you start learning, but its style can serve as a wave of the starting flag for an athlete. Let's explain in a little more detail: each of us knows how to distinguish a good student from a bad one. A good student is always dressed neatly and strictly (especially for guys), which cannot be said about a bad student, his style is always radically different from the one that should be dressed in an educational institution. So, when this very "not very good" student comes to class in a strict suit, the attitude towards him sharply changes, both among the students and among the teaching staff. And the first thought that arises among those around him is “Is it possible that Ivanov (for example) finally took hold of his mind and began to study ?!”. Yes, yes, with the help of a simple change of image, you can achieve such changes in your attitude towards yourself. Naturally, after everyone has thought so well of you, it will be difficult to turn into a bummer who goes to classes to “sit his pants” again.
Create a fun activity out of learning (mind map method)... You've probably noticed that many of the girls in your group, at lectures, do not write in solid text, but using various markers and quotes. Their recorded lectures are often not just a few pages of the teacher's handwritten phrases, but a whole masterpiece of art: important phrases are written in a different color, the rules are highlighted in various rectangular tables. The text contains a lot of underlines and highlights with a marker or other ink. Even small sketches are made with a pencil and a ruler. Do you think that they are just doing nonsense ?! You are wrong, they turn a boring lecture into an interesting activity by coloring and highlighting the main points. In addition, at home it will be easier for them to remember this information, since they memorize terms not only in meaning, but also visually, which allows them to remember the information faster and better.
When it is difficult to remember some information, try to understand it not literally, but through analogies. For example: remember the name "Battle of Borodino", you can use its analogy with "Borodino bread"; remember the initials of Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin, you can, as "Pushkin - ace (the best specialist)". Examples, perhaps, not the most successful, the main thing is to grasp the meaning and use it in your training.
To make learning even more interesting and comfortable, buy notebooks with beautiful covers, keep convenient and bright notebooks and use colorful sticky notes for reminders. Change pens more often and choose them not only for comfort in writing, but also for a beautiful or unusual design. From time to time, use pens whose ink smells, the delicious smell will also cheer you up, and when you open the notebook, you will not only remember your duties, but also some delicious fruit or chewing gum.
Reward yourself for success. It is difficult to force a teenager or an adult boy (girl) to study, but it is quite possible. Use rewarding methods for this, for example: You unlearned today and did not receive a single bad mark - praise yourself and allow yourself today to walk for an hour or two. And if they also got a good mark in an important subject, then here you can still reward yourself with something tasty (chips, chocolate or pizza). Passed an exam or test - here a bigger prize is supposed to: go with friends to a club, cafe or to a disco. Remember that the promotion should only be if you really deserve it. If you are guilty, then there can be no question of any prize or rest. You must realize all the sweetness of victory and the bitterness of defeat.
Evaluate yourself for success soberly and honestly, sometimes a strained four deserves more praise than a solid five. In addition to grades, you can reward yourself for the tickets you have learned, homework done, going to the library, active work in the lesson, etc. That is, the results can be expressed in completely different ways. Don't get hung up on grades. It would be more correct to focus on the knowledge gained. After all, as we know, the assessments that teachers give us are not always objective.
The first step is difficult! The hardest part of learning is the first step, the beginning of the process. Admit it to yourself, how often did it happen that you delayed your homework until the last hours of your waking hours ?! Probably often - after all, there are always things that seem more important than homework. Agree that starting homework is always more difficult than finishing it. It is so?!
The main reason for a difficult start is banal laziness. Homework can be a matter of 15 minutes, but you need to sit down for it, start thinking, and how you don't want to do this. The sooner you overcome laziness in yourself, the sooner you will begin to study well.
Study well from the first semester! If you decide to end this year with good grades and show yourself in the best light in front of teachers, parents and friends, then start to study well from the first semester. Don't put it off until later. At the beginning of the year (after the holidays), all tasks will accumulate gradually, and this is a chance to solve them quickly and correctly. If you delay, then towards the end of this year or semester you will get an unpleasant situation, there will be little time left until the end, and there will be a lot of tasks and tasks. And you will no longer think about good grades, but about having time to pass the subject before the session. Learn to distribute the study load evenly and then you will definitely succeed!
Work more in the classroom so you have less homework. A clever way for those who know how to value their time. It often happens that the teacher has time to finish the lesson before the call and, in order not to burden you with unnecessary information, offers to go about your business. We do not advise you to waste this time, you are still at school, at your desk and cannot communicate loudly with friends, so use this time wisely: start doing your homework. Let not on this subject, but on another, even if not for tomorrow. No matter! The main thing is that you will save yourself time at home, which means that you can walk with friends in the fresh air for an extra 10-20 minutes.
Organize contests and marathons. Try to negotiate with your parents for a kind of competition in which they will sponsor prizes. For example: if you get only good grades in algebra in the next two weeks, then after these two weeks they will buy you a new mobile phone (for example). The time and gift may vary depending on your previous academic success and the well-being of your family. If you set conditions for a year or a semester, then take into account two factors, firstly, in six months or a year, the family budget may change (and not always for the better), so try to get guarantees from your parents for one or another purchase. Secondly, keep in mind that it is very, very difficult to motivate yourself to buy the same bike all year round. Sooner or later, you may not keep the bar raised.
Manage your time wisely. Try to learn from the compiled regime. For example, right after class, do not come and sit at the computer, but come and sit at the kitchen table, eat, then go to do homework, and in the evening go out for a walk or go to the club. Thus, you will always know that at this time you need to do your homework, and not rest. Do not be afraid to experiment with your regimen, since you will not force some to study right after school, they first need rest, and they start their lessons the next day early in the morning, but this mode is quite risky, since there is always a chance to oversleep.
Develop your willpower. Sometimes it happens that no competition and no motivation can make a student start learning. In such cases, there is only one piece of advice: “Grit your teeth, gather all your willpower into a fist, and by all means, start learning! Not because you want to, but because it is so NECESSARY! ". Thus, you will develop your willpower, which will come in handy more than once in the future. Good luck!
Many parents look forward to their child's adolescence with mixed feelings of fear and hope. Fear - because during this period many children change so much internally that sometimes even close people and hopes do not recognize them - because parents secretly hope that these problems will bypass them.
How to regain the desire to learn if a teenager, who was previously quite successful in all subjects, is now not forced to sit down to lessons? What can you do before things get far?
After all, now good grades and solid knowledge are a pass to a university, a way to get a profession that will bring satisfaction. However, in any classroom in high school, it is not easy to find a purposeful teenager who can think about things like consistently good grades.
What is the reason for the sharp decline in interest in learning?
The main problem preventing a teenager from learning is a shift in life priorities. If in elementary school I so wanted to please parents with good grades, because they were the central figures on whom the child depended, then in adolescence such categories as the ability to understand oneself and others came to the fore.Before this goal, which, of course, is not realized by children and the majority of parents, there is no comparison in mastering school wisdom. This is the reason that a previously modest and obedient child can no longer be forced to do his homework - he disappears in social networks or in the company of peers.
Understanding oneself as a full-fledged personality with one's own interests and individual qualities, mastering the formation of oneself in a team according to the laws of human society and its nature occurs precisely in adolescence.
- How to gain credibility;
- how to do it in such a way as to arouse sympathy among others;
- how to look better;
- how to get out of a conflict situation;
- how to evaluate the actions of your own and other peers;
- Hereditary characteristics of a teenager, type of nervous system;
- Significant overload of the child with additional activities;
- Inability of the teacher to interest in his subject;
- Biased attitude of teachers towards children (why study well if a teenager is still perceived as a C grade and "an ordinary mediocrity");
- Poor family relationships, lack of trust and understanding both between parents and between the child and his relatives;
- Mental laziness, or, in other words, intellectual passivity;
- Weak motivation for learning - it is difficult for a teenager to convince him that diligent study at school and the knowledge gained as a result of it will be useful to him in life.
How will it end?
In most cases, having paid tribute to nature, the child goes through the period of formation and returns to school. Now the main thing is to bring him to the right motivation.The incentive to do well at school cannot be put into the head of a teenager; it must come from within. Growing up, a high school student sees his goal, builds a plan to achieve it, and looks for ways to realize it.
And here you no longer have to force a teenager to do their homework, children, as they say, "take their minds" and choose the direction in which they are going to receive further education.
How to properly motivate your teenager
You probably won't be able to get your child to learn better. Advice to deprive him of his pocket money and other benefits, to control every step, to make him do his homework until midnight, also does not work, they can seriously undermine a trusting relationship with a son or daughter. Children will begin to hide their problems from their parents, they may even stop studying and regularly appear at school.If in the family the desire to obtain information is not developed, there is no respect for knowledge, interest in reading, then you need to start with a reassessment of values. A child in whose family the only printed materials are catalogs of supermarkets, where words of condemnation of the school and teachers are constantly heard, will not study well. In other cases, it is necessary to form positive motivation for learning in general and for school in particular.
If the problems began in elementary school, you should not make a good student out of an unsuccessful child right now. Learning skills, interest in knowledge, the desire to learn are formed precisely in the first grades, and now this moment has already been missed and it is incredibly difficult to achieve progress.
The best tactic is to analyze the child's tendencies and prioritize school choices on this basis. Collecting toy soldiers, insects, computer hobbies, basketball, wrestling - all these hobbies can become the basis for the revival of interest in school.
In the case of a decrease in academic performance already in secondary school, you need to rely on psychological characteristics of character:
- If a child has strong ambitious sides of character, he can be encouraged to study subjects that are useful for his career in the future, to show that if you do not do homework now, this will greatly interfere with further enrollment in a prestigious university;
- You can convince a child with a demonstrative character to study by showing him how good study will help to stand out among peers at school;
- Sympathy for a peer of the opposite sex will also help to get you to do homework, especially if the subject of romantic affection is a good student and has strong aspirations.
Let peers come home, give them the idea of \u200b\u200bdoing something useful and productive themselves: modeling, cooking, soap making and other interesting activities that teach something interesting, and even in the company, after which they will help to make the compulsory lessons better.
Tell us what you were like at this age, but without undue idealization. Help to look for literature for teenagers, special and fiction, about their problems and things of interest.
Do not put labels like "mediocre", "stupid", "C grade" on children. Such negative assessments will not help to do homework, but it is very easy to lower self-esteem and increase the level of aggression.
Do not manipulate the fact that poor schooling of children makes you unhappy, sick, happy ... then continue on your own. They are not obliged to make you happy, the children are not learning for you, and they sit down to do their homework not in order to please dad and mom.
In order for such problems to arise as rarely as possible, it is necessary from an early age to form in children the desire to learn about the world around them and to take an active part in this.
The problem of underachievement in secondary school with the attentive attitude of parents and teachers has many ways to solve. Trust and understanding is the key that opens all doors.
Every student dreams that classmates envy him in an amicable way, teachers praise and give worthy marks, and parents feel pride for him. But in order to achieve such a result, you need to be able to fight your laziness.
However, laziness today comes out not in the first place, but in the fact that the time allotted for lessons is wasted on incomprehensible temptations. There are so many of them around: computer games, the Internet, social networks, and they all interrupt a little interest in learning.
But in order to still get the child to take up his mind, there are several simple rules. And they are all, for the most part, based on willpower.
- You need to start preparing lessons with the most light items... And only after completing them, you should start more complex activities, spending most of your time on them. In case of hindrances and difficulties, you need to start another job, where you do not have to think. This can be, for example, rewriting or memorizing poetry. During this time, the brain will have time to process the information, and the solution to the problem will come to mind on its own.
- Apply for help you need to see your parents only in case of complete confusion and if nothing happens at all. And then, in the end, all the tasks will be performed for you by a private tutor, coursework will be written to order, and a diploma will be bought for money, and so on.
- If an unusually large number of lessons were asked, then it would be wise to divide them into several stages... After completing each stage, you should take short breaks - drink tea, water the flowers, take a shower, iron your shirt. That is, to use not computer consoles and games, but to do normal physical household chores. All this will be an excellent training for willpower.
- After drinking sweet tea, you add at least a little, but glucose to the blood. Thinking in this way will be much faster, and the expended forces will be restored to some extent.
- Breaks should be enough for the brain to rest. To invigorate the body, you can perform special gymnastics.
- In any business, the main thing, of course, is result... If you managed to complete the lessons earlier than the deadline, then in the remaining free time you can walk, play, and at the same time check your mail on the Internet. When the next day comes, you will come to class fully prepared.
- You do not need to turn on the computer immediately upon arrival from school. No views of the weather for tomorrow, no TV, radio, set-top boxes. First you need to have lunch or dinner, and then read the literature. After all, even in a state of extreme fatigue, or, in a bad mood, you can learn something. This will lead to the fact that you come to class tomorrow, well prepared. And only then can you start your lessons. There should be no indulgence in the form of a computer, because if you turn it on for 5 minutes, you will not notice how the case will drag on for an hour or more. And about the lessons will be remembered closer to the night.
No one said that it would be easy at first, but the result obtained in the end will completely overpersuade you. And the question of how to force yourself to do homework will no longer be too urgent for you. After all, now you will do it much more easily and naturally.
