How to find out what I want now. How to understand what I want

Probably, you have already heard about the idea that one of the human happiness components is his favorite activity. There is another rather interesting statement that if you are doing a favorite thing, which in addition to pleasure brings more income, then you will not need to work at all.

And for what reason did you even start thinking about how to understand what I want?

Are you so out of freaks with yourself that you don't even know what kind of business brings you real pleasure?
Or maybe the reason is not in this, but in the fact that you are just afraid to do what you like?
Maybe we are afraid of someone else's opinion, critics and condemnation around?

It seems to me that for a start it is worth answering these questions and only then begin to think about how to understand your desires!

Answer №1: Easy!

There are some interesting thoughts of psychologists practitioners on this topic. One of them says that the goal in life or the lesson needs to not be sought, but to lure. At the beginning of any classes or path to the goal will be quite difficult, but as the experience gained and the necessary knowledge in the industry or the direction over which you work will appear ease, which will result in further activities to bring a lot of pleasure.

Here is one of interesting ways about how to understand what I want. The method is based on the fact that during the day, and especially in the evening, the mind is not able to objectively assess the information due to overload or elementary fatigue. Take a sheet of paper and handle and before bedtime, write down everything you like to doAll you like to do. In the morning, as soon as you woke up, take this entry and start crossing out the items until only one. It is this record that will be what you want to do what you wish in fact. The decision taken early in the morning when the mind is still fresh, clean and not closed with stupid thoughtsis the most faithful. Not in vain, folk wisdom says that morning the evening is wiser!

Answer # 2: Just action!

There is no problem in understanding what I want, there is a problem only to decide to do at least something that in my soul ..

The thought in the quotation is very similar to the opinion of the psychologist about the cat wrote above. It doesn't matter what to do, do at least something that you like, the main thing is not to be afraid to start acting. Choose the industry you are interested in, pick up the direction and start acting, do not think about obstacles and difficulties. Absolutely in any business or occupation they will, and will be equally complex. You can even scare not a favorite occupation, namely the future difficulties that will meet. It makes no sense to even think about them. Thanks to overcoming all obstacles on the way to any purpose you have chosen, you observet. strengthwhich will give you lightness and professionalism, which will become a source of great pleasure and happiness in life. Imagine yourself with an impeccable professional that you at least like a little like you can easily deal with your tasks set before you and how you get pleasure and rewards, respectively. But first there is a way to go from labor, without which you do not take, success and pleasure not get!

Answer number 3: knowledge of the new

So why do you need to know what you want?

You, like any other person want to be happy, enjoy life, want to recognize people around you, be adopted by society, etc. All this is the natural psychological needs of a person, the root cause of which is a sense of satisfaction, internal comfort and spiritual equilibrium. Everything spins around pleasure. We are some emotional addicts who are constantly in search of a drug called pleasure. All this hormones and so arranged man. Someone finds satisfaction inside, and someone outside by chemical narcotic substances, such as tobacco, alcohol and even more severe ..

So where find sourceof this Pleasurein which we all need so much how to find out what I want?
Let's go back in childhood, the happiest period of human life. Why in childhood we are so happy and satisfied? For the reason that in childhood, a person is constantly knowing a new one. Exactly the knowledge of the new and brings us a true sense of internal satisfaction. All that is good that happens to us for the first time leaves an indelible mark in our subconscious. Remember the first love, first journey abroad, first sex, first success on professional field, etc. The second time the same situation will no longer bring so much pleasure as for the first time, and all subsequent cases will only dull this feeling until it disappears at all. That's it for this reason, we are so i do not like to engage in monotonous laborwhich absolutely does not require creative thinking and self-development. From here and the feeling of laziness appears, which works as a protective mechanism from a useless time. Mechanical work kills us from the inside. Hence the disease as a result of internal dissatisfaction.

Develop, learn new, dive into knowledge, constantly explore and creatively think - this is what we actually want. And it is not so important in which area you will do it, it is important to overcome your fear and plunge into the unknown and start acting right now!

Dear readers, how are you an article? Do you agree with the foregoing? Maybe you want to add something your own?

Everything goes with your guy: the plot is familiar, the role is clear, the frame is replaced by the frame. But at some stage, the protagonist will definitely ask: "What do I want from life? Is this a role? Is I really happy? Such questions can change all their life, and the search for answers to give an unpleasant experience. You can start right now, learning about 6 steps leading to success. But to begin with, it is advisable to get acquainted with the symptoms of an indefinite state.

Signs that a person does not know what he really wants:

• Questions "What we order for breakfast?", "Latte or American?", "Metro or on foot?" Forced to fluctuate, changing per 1 minute decisions several times.
• There is a sharp desire to go somewhere (in the cinema, for example), but as soon as the film begins, a person understands that he does not want to look.
• Periodically rolling the sensations of emptiness or leading to.
• There is no something to take, move in the usual rhythm.
• Sometimes it seems that you are watching by yourself.
• Any pressure with requests to solve something in the "deadlock" and causes irritation.

And now we turn to solutions.

1. And where is I "I"?

Thoughtful parents are used to "know what is better." They seek to solve all the problematic questions for their children, to protect them from the "negative impact" of the outside world or financial difficulties. That is why the question of deciding not graduates, but their experienced close. "Go to a lawyer," says a knowledgeable father. "The teacher is a prestigious and stable job" - the grandmother intervenes. "We will replace me in accounting, the place is already heated," Mom turns on.

So it turns out that a talented artist who could be in the future with a high-class designer, amenable to persuasion of adults. He enters the unloved faculty, arranged for the unloved job and does not live his life. But you can be at any second. The main thing is to discard what is imposed by someone from the side. The emergence of questions "Where is the real I mean in this?" And "What do I want from life?" It is not only a sign of maturity, but also motivating to the personal growth of pills.

2. Fold the file.

Paying a lot of time to work, problems of loved ones or posts of other people in social networks, we completely forget about yourself. We are not about appearance or entertainment, but about knowing yourself. Modern life is similar to a race where a hurry "Everyone's time", losing the main thing - an understanding that you really want from life. To find it will help the dossier folded in a frank conversation with himself. To do this, you need to remember that I liked to do in childhood, what is the inclination, will not be buried to the ground?

Assistants in detective work can become children's photos obtained by letters or rewards, as well as psychological research. On the Internet, many helping to know themselves better, turning attention to the qualities that may have remained in the shade. It may benefit communication with psychologists, a visit to master classes or participation in webinars aimed at studying the personality.

3. What is written in front ...

Thoughts and conversations are one, and the record on the sheet of paper is the step of responsible. Maybe such a statement sounds jokingly, but it is worth a person to take a handle as a "stupor" immediately finds on him. In order to write the first line you need at least to focus, gather, concentrate. At this stage, it is advisable to perform several exercises.

• To write about your dreams and desires. The more specifically they are formulated, the easier it will be subsequent work.
• Continue offers: "I want ...", "I don't want ...". This can be anything, but it is desirable that the number of sentences in the total amount does not exceed 14 positions.
• Now it's time to become Aladin, who was lucky to find a magic lamp with Gin. And then - all as in the famous history: Jin is ready to fulfill only three desires. Chur, it is impossible to change the solution! Pretty re-reading and pondering all the items, you can safely distinguish the three main "wants". Even if the fabulous hero will forget about them, landmarks, for what to strive will now.

4. Look into the future.

Many young people used to live today, forgetting to ask themselves: "To achieve in life?" And in vain. After all, this dialogue determines the course of movement, the level of work on itself and much more. To understand which way to be directed, it is enough to draw (it does not matter orally or writing) itself after 10, 20 and 30 years.

If the imagination created, for example, a positive image of a successful physician on its own machine, then most likely you need to try to get high-quality education and good practices. But if the doctor's silhouette seems unhappy, irritated or tired, then maybe the path chose erroneously?

A person from the future is simply obliged to be smiling and happy, otherwise - everything does not make sense.

It is understood that I want to do and what to do with the method of trial and error. There are many diverse ways in the world, trying something radically new. Perhaps sewing wallets, shooting documentaries or blogging will be the perfect occupation. And eat no? So, the acquired experience will show the direction in which the move is not necessary. After all, understanding what I do not want, skillfully separates the grain from the whores.

Why don't we achieve such success that we would please and inspired us? It is often the fact that we strive not to what we really want, choose the goals and plans that the world and other people dictate us, and not our own values, interests and desires. In the book "Watch your fear", Mandy Holgate leads an exercise that will help to decide on true dreams, and strategies, how to start following your dear.

Do you want Ferrari?

I often ask the listeners: "Who wants to have" Ferrari "in this hall?" What do you think, what answer do I get? Hand forest? Several votes: "Yes, let's go here!"? What answer do you expect?

In my practice, we usually raise one or two people. And then I ask these few bravery, who bravely wave a hand near the ear: "If you really want" Ferrari ", then why are you so inseciously confess? Do not pull your hand to the ceiling, do not jump on the chair, as in the first class, when you know the answer and want the teacher to ask you exactly? "

You see, when you really want Ferrari, this is a real passion - an internal incentive that you feel every cell. It is worth you to hear the coveted name or see the photo of the car of your dreams, and you are overwhelmed with excitation and curiosity.

But never when I brought this example, I have not seen such an excite of such an excite about Ferrari, such a passion, such a tension of feelings, which does not allow to sit on the spot: "I am now a lot from love at first sight, if I don't Allow to speak in the same nanosecond! "

This is what the real passion looks like. You need to understand what your goals and internal incentives, and find confidence to be ourselves without pretending. Find out what makes you feel such a complete life that you have not yet finished this phrase, notice how your heart is rapidly rapidly, the lips are revealed in a smile and you begin to fantasize the results. This is a passion. This is the goal. But too often we hide what we really want, and what we are, for the people around. And therefore we achieve only those results that others want from us.

Author's exercise "My Values"

Once at the coach session, the client, having completed one of the exercises, which are later given, found out to their horror that it has a hobby priority list than the husband. And it was not so definitely, as it seems. Together we found out that she did nothing for the fact that it actually had value for her: did not pay enough attention to this important hobby for himself, constantly ignored and suppressed internal incentives that helped her feel the completeness of life. But when she realized what values \u200b\u200bfor her significant, he could change something - and noticed significant improvements in all spheres of life. She did not make a choice between her husband and hobby. And of course, her list of priorities did not mean that she did not like his spouse. But it was important for her to realize the values \u200b\u200bthat make up her personality, and understand: ignoring them, she does not feel happy, alive, and this in turn affects many other sides of her life and work.

1. List all that is important for you in life.

This list does not have to show anyone. No need to explain your choice. If you enable children in this list, but not a husband (or wife), this is your business, and no one will condemn you for it. Then choose from the written ten items. Below, I cite your list - you can take the sample enemy. Not necessarily your list will look like - Write what you want.

For example, career, travel, family, success, friends, money, hobbies, culture, work, recreation, sports, health, physical activity, socialization, finance, writing, gardening, reading, music.

Draw such a sign and enter your items in each line of the first column - in any order:

Table from the book

2. Compare these items to each other in pairs.

For example, if you had to choose, could you do without a family or without rest? If you could not give up a family, then the family gets one point, and rest is zero. Would you be able to do without family or without entertainment? If you do not hurt without entertainment, then entertainment get one score, and the family is zero. This does not mean that something is wrong with your family or with you. Do not try to reproach yourself. This list should not be shown, you make it for myself and only for yourself to see what is important for you in life. If you put the family zero points, it does not mean that it is unimportant for you. You simply define what place it takes on your prioritization system. So, remember: no guilt, only honesty. Listen to your intuition and write a clean truth!

3. Earn so the entire column, comparing the first item with the third, fourth, and so on.

I compare family and entertainment, family and work, family and helping others, and you have your own list. Repeat for each item.

You will get a sign, similar to this. Table from the book

4. Summage points for each item.

This information will help you understand what your priorities are. For example, in our example, the main values \u200b\u200bare family, entertainment and help to others, because the family receives nine points, entertainment - eight, and the help of others is seven.

It is important to know the first ten of your life values, but it is even more important to identify three main ones that most strongly affect your life. In our example, rest and money received four points, that is, they are not so significant as the first three values. However, they are present in the list, and this will help consciously take them into account in life. You will certainly come across situations when these values \u200b\u200bneed to pay tribute to these values: for example, I want to make a large purchase and ready for this a lot to work. But I will not forget about rest!

Yes, it is scary to admit: "These are my priorities." But it is necessary to start with something? You noticed that some people walk with her extinct eyes, as if they had a light bulb inside, while others would shine from the inside, shine and full of life? Often this exercise brings unexpected discoveries. A person discovers: what he considered the main value in his life is not so high in the list of its priorities. Realizing this, you get the opportunity to live a full life.

Motives

If you want to implement the most bold goals and dreams, learn to go against the current. You will need to take into account someone else's opinion. And in general you will experience fear. But positive actions find a positive response. Only inertia and inaction allow fear to grow and exacerbate.

You must know your values, know what inspires you and why.

Still, fear is able to be a decisive factor that does not give you to act in order to get the desired result, internally valuable for you. To induce yourself to take the necessary action, look at your motives. If you do not pay tribute to your values, what do you agree with? Ask you these important questions:

• If I do not understand who I am, and I do not feel ready to defend it and be myself, what do I agree in this case?
• If I retreat from my nature and from my values, what do I agree in this case?

Remember the exercise "My Values". What values \u200b\u200bare important for you? What are you ready to do? What are ready to sacrifice? Ask yourself:

• If I continue to retreat from my values, how will it affect my life?
• How will it affect my loved ones?

Yes, it is decided to realize my potential that is scary. But isn't it scary to hide your true essence? Remember what a person feel, who actually wants "Ferrari"? This is what you should feel - the deepest inner need to find out the answers to these questions.

Forget about others for a while, take only yourself. Ask yourself: If you were completely alone, no friends and relatives, without hated work and would not be limited in choosing, what would you like to do? Do not be afraid to show healthy egoism and do not be ashamed. If you do not put your interests above public, then no one will do it.

Don't spare

Constantly regret that you have done or did not do in the past - it means to stand still. Do not live in past and do not regret anything. Live today, live by the future.

Decide that you need the most

We do not always understand what we need in life. And it is extremely difficult to find out. Concentrate and think that it is truly important for you. Family? Freedom of expression? Financial well-being? Make a list of priorities, it can help.

Determine what bothers you

Healthy solve what you want to do, it is possible only when it does not hold back. If you are upset or your head is crashed, then you can never make a decision. Observe what it is annoying at the moment. "I am infuriates to work in the office" is not an answer. What specifically the aspect of the work is concerned? Annoying the boss? Schedule? Are you unhappy with the post?

Think about how to fix it. Perhaps in the current situation there are no serious problems and a change in only a pair of aspects will make you a happy person.

Find out what brings you pleasure

Pleasure is the key to a happy life. The person who benefits from life does not just live his years, but fills them with meaning. Recall moments from life when you were happy. What brings you pleasure? Travels? Communication with children? Company management? It will be easier to choose a further path, knowing what exactly makes you happy.

Tell us about your dream around

No need to hide from relatives and close solutions to quit everything and go towards a dream. Sharing with them your considerations, you can get the support and new ideas that you would not have thought.

Tune in to positive way

Life does not always go to the script we have written. But you do not need to fall into apathy, if something has not happened. Instead of grieving and do nothing, continue started with double power. Surrely or later, success will come. Do not give up, and think about good and do what I dreamed of all my life.

Just do not think that it's easy to find your destination. Many people are looking for him all life. The main thing is not to stop and continue to look. One day it will definitely happen. And before that moment, try various professions and classes. After all, without trying, you will never know, yours or not.

The fate of the person is the way of samples and mistakes, self-education and other steps. I can do everything, I want everything, but how to understand what kind of choices to do?

1. We take two hours of your time (undivided, personal and calm) and sit down at the table

It is important. Not on the sofa, not on the bench, but at the table. We write out everything that you like to do what interests. Let it even be a stream of thoughts. It is important to write everything.

And now put a piece of paper, go to sleep. The next day, soberly looked, analyzed, crossed out frank nonsense. Now it's easier - there is the basis and ways of direction.

2. Read, listen, visit

During the week, two, try to read / listen / visit several places / events related to selected areas. Inhale local air, feel the atmosphere.

3. What not like?

Let's go from the opposite and the same way we decide what we do not like to do. For example, come to work for your mother / dad / other relatives and understand yours or not. Saw? I do not like? Hood. There is already something.

4. Internship

In any office / log / work of your dream work, experts / volunteers are always required. Everything is so simple. Exactly. You just need to dial the phone number of the instance and ask about the conditions of internship. Attempt is not torture. Such experience as it is impossible to "sore" your ideas about future work and will give it to understand "it" or not.

5. Travel a lot and often if there is an opportunity

The closed space, the same circle of friends, communication often turns us into a dead end. You have an explosion, a burst of inspiration, energy. You see how people live far and closely than they do.

6. Communicate with people older than yourself

Age here is not so important as life experience is important. Especially the experience of those who have already been successful in their business and reached something. Ask advice, interest.

7. Interesting Club

There is a bunch of organizations for students / youth not only in interest, but in general, so to speak, directions. There you can find like-minded people - once, well spend time - two. Three - often people around us give us to understand who we really are.

8. Read a lot

9. Although the ninth, but very important moment (!)

Please think your head. Do not mother / dad / family / aunt on mom dad, and their own. You live and love what you do. These are your ambitions, life.

10. Create contacts

This is called today "Network" (from "Network", "Network" translated from English). Your interested and friends are now friends - in the future Successful people, entrepreneurs, specialists. Be polite with everyone. True, try to help others when there is an opportunity. Such relationships with people are the future bricks. What you do now - you are later.

11. We can relax

It is impossible to strain your vocation all the time. Thought? Does not go? We take a pause and just rest.

12. And here the snag (see paragraph 9) - listen to relatives and loved ones

13. Test

Pass the test for career guidance. I'm not laughing now. Thousands of psychologists and other specialists did not just develop such tests like this. In each question and your answer is that it makes sense. Whether to follow the results of the test or not - your right.

14. I exhale, a little left

So, we try to get out of your comfort zone and do what they have not tried before. In a week, we invent such 2-3 classes maximum and expand the horizons. Imagine that you are an experimental rabbit and a doctor at the same time. Watch your reactions to those or other items / activity / classes. Make conclusions.

15. The last and most important

Prepared? Be yourself. Really. Stop someone to copy if they did it before. Whose experience can not come to you, someone's views can disperse with yours and this is normal. Everyone has his own path. It is important to pass it from the beginning to the end.