How not to cry in public. How to learn not to cry when you are hurt or offended

Life situations are such that sometimes a person cannot do without tears. Triumph, resentment, disappointment torment the soul and do not allow you to calm down. So what should you do if you want to cry? Sometimes the wave can afford it. Nerves will return to normal, the person will calm down, and the mood will even improve. Of course, if there are a lot of people around, then you shouldn’t cry too much in public, but it’s okay to wipe away a few tears. This is normal excitement, no one will mind. But you shouldn’t manipulate your tears. This will often have no effect or even cause negative attitudes from others. Not everyone likes it when people try to manipulate them through tearfulness.

So why do people cry?

  • Sensitive subtle nervous system;
  • Too emotional (actors, artists, people of art);
  • There are nerve diseases;
  • They relieve tension in this way.

Of course, these points are conditional, and they are all interconnected, but some people really cry a lot. Men are more often shy, trying to hold back the flow of tears, but they end up with problems and illnesses, because tears relieve stress better than clenched teeth. It’s okay if sometimes tears well up in your eyes, it’s not a shame, it’s the body getting rid of the accumulated nervous load.

How to cope with depression?

Sometimes if you are sad and want to cry, you just need to try to distract yourself. Tears are a reaction to pain, resentment, stress, so you can give yourself physical activity, go to a workout, or engage in hard work that will displace your worries. If you constantly replay the offense in your head, it will be harder. In this regard, it is easier for optimists, more difficult for pessimists. They are more vulnerable and are not always self-confident.

How to relieve a fit of tears?

If you really want to cry, you better cry. This way the body will quickly return to normal and calm down. Suppressed feelings are more dangerous. They cause heart disease and other nervous problems. Anyone who constantly restrains the desire to cry often has a harder time experiencing all the emotional upheavals that befall him. Therefore, if you are angry, breathe deeply, drink water or cry. Of course, it is better to do this not in front of everyone. But even a strong person has the right to tears of joy or sadness, there is no need to be afraid of it.

Tears for no reason

If you want to cry for no reason, it means your body is simply tired. There may be a difficult situation at home or at work. In this case, take a vacation and change your surroundings. If it doesn’t help, consult a doctor; perhaps some kind of nervous disease is manifesting itself. If you constantly hold back your emotions, your health may fail and result in a runny nose, hay fever, asthma or other diseases. Change your life, smile more often. Look for positive moments that will make you happy no matter what.

In life, situations often arise when emotions overflow and you want to cry. However, not everyone wants to do this in public. For this reason, you need to hold back your tears, but not everyone can do this. But there are ways that will help you do this, you just need to get together and stressful situation remember them.

How not to cry if you are offended

Some people take great pleasure in humiliating others in order to become more important. They just like to see others cry because it makes them feel superior. Most often their victims are sensitive people. In this case, they need to try to respond with rudeness to rudeness. However, in a stressful situation it is quite difficult to fight back. For this reason, tears appear in the eyes. How not to cry in this situation? The most the best way here you will hurt yourself. You can, for example, dig your nails into your hand or bite your cheek. Such actions allow you to divert your attention from the problem and the desire to cry will immediately disappear. You can also pull out a few hairs or pull on your ear. What is important here is not so much the action as the moment of distraction.

Also in a good way not to cry in public is a mental representation of your offender in a comical situation. So, for example, you can put a bucket of slop or garbage on his head. As a result, he will not look stern; on the contrary, he will want to laugh. In addition, he can be dressed in rags or completely undressed. The choice is really wide, the main thing is to practice a little and at a crucial moment, instead of wanting to cry, you will want to laugh. If a person is constantly brought to tears, then this can be done, since this act will discourage him. While listening to offensive things from a spiteful critic, you can mentally throw water, slop, paint, and mud at him. This way, you will be able to distract yourself from his words, and they will not be so offensive.

How not to cry at an important event

Many people have the habit of crying at weddings and birthdays, because they are overwhelmed with joyful emotions and in this way a person gives them a way out. Of course, no one blames you for this, but the makeup of the fair sex after tears leaves much to be desired. In this case, you should remember how much time it took, then all the desire to cry will disappear. If tears appear, then you should leave and look at yourself in the mirror. An unsightly appearance will frighten any girl, so she will immediately stop crying.

To avoid crying at an important event, you should remember to breathe. As soon as emotions begin to overwhelm, you need to take a few deep breaths. It is best to go outside to get some fresh air, a few minutes will be enough. While inhaling it, you need to imagine how calmness enters the body, and with each exhalation, excitement and the desire to cry go away.

A cigarette helps some people hold back their tears. So, when emotions begin to overwhelm and you want to cry, you need to light a cigarette. One cigarette will be enough. You should not abuse this method, as it will not benefit your health. It is important to know that smoking shifts consciousness from one subject to another, so in this case psychologists advise drinking a glass of wine or water. The main thing is for the brain to switch to another object. You can even go out and eat something, even if it’s just ordinary candy.

All of the above methods will help you avoid crying. public places. However, when a person is alone at home and wants to shed a tear, you should not hold back your emotions. According to psychologists, crying is good for you. This is explained by the fact that a person needs to give vent to his emotions, and should not accumulate them. Holding back tears can later lead to a real nervous breakdown. It will be much more difficult to treat, since it leads to depression, and this condition often evokes thoughts of suicide.

15 chosen

We are all different and react differently to the world around us. Some almost burst into tears, while others you will never get a tear out of.Both extremes have their drawbacks. Crying for any reason - in front of friends, employees or complete strangers - is extremely unpleasant. On the other hand, experiencing all problems “dry” can lead to the accumulation of tension and even health problems. Psychologist Maria Pugacheva helped us figure out how to find a middle ground.

Why are we different?

The predisposition to shedding tears depends on a person’s personality: character, temperament, upbringing, metabolism and even memories. If a person associates some situation with an unpleasant memory or mental trauma, then it may well cause tears in him, although those around him will not see anything terrible in it.

It is practically impossible to do anything with this predisposition, just as it is impossible to change the type of temperament. “Tears are, first of all, a physiological reaction, a protective reaction to stress. There is very little psychology here, so learning to control tear production is almost impossible. But you can try to reduce the level of stress as much as possible at the moment of onset of crying, then there is a chance to stop the tears.”,” explained Maria Pugacheva.

I'm not crying!

People who cry often sometimes find themselves in situations where tears flow at the most inopportune moment. The boss unfairly scolded them, the trainer at the gym made a remark, or they were rude on the bus, and now they have a lump in their throat, their voice begins to tremble treacherously, their eyes become moist. But you don’t want to cry in front of strangers! But tears don’t care about what you want, they flow on their own, and this makes you even more hurt and makes you want to cry even more...

Maria Pugacheva gave some tips to help hold back tears that come at the wrong moment:

  • Drink plenty of water in large sips.
  • Take 5-10 deep breaths.
  • If possible, make some sudden, intense movements.
  • Challenge yourself" pain reaction", switching the stress from psychological to physiological. Discreetly pinch yourself, bite your tongue a little, or pull a strand of hair. This method usually allows you to come to your senses fairly quickly.
  • Switch your brain from a stressful situation: start remembering poems, phone numbers, and multiplication tables in your mind.
  • If a specific offender brought tears to your eyes, do not feel sorry for yourself, but switch to him. Mentally laugh at him - remember his ridiculous habits or in your imagination dress him in a clown costume.

Crying is good for you

These techniques will help you hold back your tears in the right situation. But you shouldn’t try to do this all the time, because Psychologists say that crying is healthy.

"Tears are a kind of psychological release and physiological protection against stress. Therefore, there is no need to constantly restrain them. Feel free to cry over a movie or just to yourself at home. If we just quietly shed a tear, it’s a tiny release. And when we actively cry, we take a lot of deep breaths, rib cage is greatly reduced. In this way, we throw off the negativity at the physiological level, giving ourselves the opportunity to avoid various psychosomatic pressures that can lead to osteochondrosis, radiculitis and other unpleasant diseases,”– explained Maria Pugacheva.

Do you often cry? Have you ever found yourself in uncomfortable situations because of this?

It won’t hurt any of the spectators to cry over a performance or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only be beneficial. What can you do to stop crying when it is destructive for yourself and destroys relationships with others?

Anything can make me cry: from a dramatic plot in a movie to a stray kitten in the next doorway. And when there is also a real reason (for example, from resentment or jealousy), I generally cannot calm down for a long time. Sometimes tears turn into hysterics, I start yelling and stop managing my condition altogether. How to stop crying and constantly stressing yourself out?

About the causes of tearfulness: you can cry in different ways

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that among us there are 5% of people endowed with special sensuality and emotionality. These are owners for whom the eyes are a particularly sensitive area. It is these people who have “increased tearfulness.” But you can cry in different ways: with beneficial or destructive effects on the psyche.

How to stop crying for any reason

By nature, all owners of the visual vector are constantly close to tears. Such people have a huge emotional range; they can subtly feel the states of other people.

Due to such sensuality, both a tragic love story and empathy for a sick person can actually provoke tears in them. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter whether this story is real or unfolds on the stage - the audience still reacts emotionally and sensually.

Stopping crying completely for the viewer is the same as stopping breathing. His receptive area (eyes) actually needs this periodic stimulation. The most important thing in this matter is the reason for which the tears arise.

When is it good to cry?

There is nothing wrong with crying during a sensual song or a soulful performance. But by nature, the carrier of the visual vector is given a special emotional sensitivity in order to realize it in empathy and compassion for other people. To those who have suffered real misfortune, who have experienced real grief.

We can see developed and realized owners of the visual vector among volunteers, working with seriously ill or disabled people. They help orphanages or are busy delivering humanitarian supplies to countries where there is war. They are always exactly where their compassion and active assistance to the weaker sections of the population are most in demand.

The viewer may well cry out of empathy for his neighbor. But these tears are beneficial, and it is not difficult for a person to calm down in such a situation - he will quickly stop crying, switching to real help. Unfortunately, in conditions where the properties of the visual vector are not sufficiently realized, the situation is different.


When tears are destructive

With a lack of realization, the entire enormous emotional range of the viewer is closed in on himself, in his own experiences. This gives rise to constant hysterics and emotional swings, causing a person to break into hysterics and yell at loved ones. In this state, he sometimes cannot calm down and only winds himself up more and more.

Depending on the additional presence of other vectors, the reason may be torment over a guy or girl. A person may cry from jealousy, panic, or perhaps from resentment towards loved ones and fate. The reason in all these cases is the same - the emotional range of the viewer is too great to be directed at himself and his troubles.

How to stop crying in each specific case

So, it won’t hurt any of the spectators to cry over a performance or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only be beneficial. What can you do to stop crying when it is destructive for yourself and destroys relationships with others?

System-vector psychology Yuri Burlan gives the following recommendation to all carriers of the visual vector: sensually focus on the experiences of another person. Not everyone will work with seriously ill patients, but there are plenty of people around who crave your empathy. This could be a lonely neighbor, a suffering friend, etc. Bringing emotions out helps the viewer relieve internal emotional swings and hysterics.

What to do to stop crying from resentment

The feeling of resentment is familiar only to the owners. It doesn’t matter if you had grievances because of your beloved guy, or if you had to cry because you were offended by the villainous fate in general. The main thing is that your natural internal balance is disrupted: the desire for everything to be fair and equal. You tried so hard for people, but in return they did not give you love, attention, respect. There is no way to calm down.

The opposite of resentment is gratitude. Try to focus on those events, people and their actions for which you can truly be grateful. Surely there will be quite a few of them.

But resentment is a reason to think about how generally the properties of the anal vector are realized in your case? This is perseverance, attention to detail, analytical warehouse mind, the need for cleanliness and the desire for family, home comfort, and the birth of children.

What to do to stop crying from jealousy

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»
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