How to make a man leave his wife. Why he will not leave his wife

(FAST, PAINLESS, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT LONG JOINT LIFE AND CHILDREN)

That is how many formulate their question at a reception with a psychologist, in conversation with friends, looking for answers on forums and so on. There is only one answer to this question: by attaching a note under the fridge magnet: "I'm leaving, dear. Don't look for me. I won’t go to the phone." If this option is not suitable. that is, another, quite obvious answer: NO! You have lived with your wife for many years. Now you have other plans - a new woman or free swimming. You have made a decision for which, judging by the wording of the question, your wife is clearly not ready. It is obvious that: you can leave QUICKLY, BUT NOT PAINFULLY, but with a scandal, a nervous breakdown, a hypertensive crisis (your wife, of course, although you can lose your temper against the background of a showdown).

You can leave after explanations - clarifications, after the human conversation, which, most likely, your wife deserves. It will NOT be FAST, BUT you will feel better than in the case of a sharp break. At least you won’t feel like a complete pig.

So, you decided to leave your wife? The only thing left is to implement the decision. But scary. How will the conversation go? How to insist on your own? How not to let yourself be persuaded?

So,

For your wife, your decision will be a shock, a shock. Get ready for a storm of emotions, be patient and correct in the conversation. One conversation, of course, will not do, but the main difficulty - the first step - you will overcome.

After announcing your decision, discuss what concerns children. (If there are children in your family.) If you love your children, you still want to take care of them, tell me about it. Specify with whom they will stay, with whom they will spend the weekend, the amount of alimony and so on.

If there is a division of property, this issue also cannot be ignored. And it’s better not to delay it. Say what you like, but your wife will be calmer if her life otherwise does not change much, if housing and material conditions, especially with children, are good. Not only the fact of the gap is knocking out of the rut, but also the fact that one has to radically change lives: move to a new apartment, cut costs, transfer children to another kindergarten, to another school. If in your power to leave everything as it is, talking about the break will be easier.

If your decision for your wife is an unexpected event, if you meet another woman, she will be very worried, indignant, angry, offended. And there's nothing to be done about it. Be prepared for tears, persuasion, perhaps even threats. These are emotional reactions, the splash that a woman needs, a normal reaction to severe stress. You will have to hear extremely unpleasant words, a flurry of reproaches, many of which will be fair.

In order to avoid explanations and unpleasant scenes, some leave without explanation. Up to the anecdotal, but vital: left with a bin. And did not return. I stayed with another. But sooner or later you will encounter your wife and hear a lot of unpleasant things. Therefore, do not avoid the conversation. A woman who has lived with you for the nth number of years has the right to know about your decision. The gap through notes hung on the refrigerator, emails, sms speaks of the man’s weakness and his disrespect for the woman.

Remember that for you care is the beginning of a new life, the opportunity to start life from scratch. The woman at this moment is faced with the need for serious changes in her life, expectations, without any desire. She is left alone. And no matter how society is emancipated, many women still feel extremely uncomfortable, being left without a man. In addition, objectively, it is more difficult for a woman to find a man than a man - a woman. This is especially true for those who diverge after living years, and even decades together. Remember this, regardless of the accumulated resentment and misunderstanding. In this situation, your wife is likely to be in a more difficult position than you.

Before you start talking about the break, make sure that you have made the right decision. Perhaps the family can still be saved. You just need to frankly say that you are not comfortable in a relationship. One of the common reasons that lead to separation is life together with the wife's relatives: parents or one mother, sisters, brothers. For the wife they are native people. But not for you. Often, the wife does not understand until the very end that such a joint living can be a reason for divorce. Raising this topic openly, you will not lose anything, but you will do everything in your power to not regret anything later.

Or perhaps the problem lies in you, in the inability to understand what exactly you want. In prioritizing, fulfilling one’s wishes, etc. As a result, you think that the problem is in the family. If not for your wife, you would have led a completely different life, would have been more successful, happier. But this may not be so.

If you met another, make sure that this is not a whim, not a passion that will subside in a month or two, and the bridges have already been burned. Having decided to leave, honestly answer to yourself how confident you are that the new passion will not turn into a vixen. Try to understand why you are convinced that a new girlfriend will make you happy.

In order to better understand yourself, you can talk to a friend or random companion. You can contact a psychologist. And help is not to dissuade you or to help leave without remorse. No and no again. The psychologist helps to understand yourself, your desires, feelings, relationships. If you decide to leave, after you better understand yourself, you will do it consciously, not on emotions, as correctly as possible. After all, if there is no place for hatred, then, regardless of the reason why people part, they can maintain human relations.

Firstly, because you are asking this question. This means that the man did not give you confidence - his supposedly most beloved woman in the world. No, he uttered words and promises from three boxes and even gave iron explanations of why he was still there, but you still doubt it.

Secondly, men and women initially have different goals. It happens that a married man actually falls in love, but least of all he wants to ruin his usual life. If he falls in love (and not just makes an affair) with another woman, he himself is not happy, because it causes a lot of trouble and discomfort. And all that he dreams of in such a situation, so that the affair with you goes without inconvenience. That is, he initially does not want to leave. Imagine yourself in this situation - you are married, have children, and here you are blowing away from another. Yes, you would not want this in life. And even if that happened and they got in trouble, then they would try to get off a little blood - that is, to sleep several times, enjoy the new relationship and hope that they will let go. The same is true for men. Good in his family or bad, happy or not, loves, dislikes - this is all secondary. Everything is clearly outlined in his head (although he can say with mournful appearance that he is completely confused) - the wife has her own role, the mistress has her own. And his dream is for everything to remain unchanged. Hence the reasons for the suffering of all the mistresses - they do not understand how can you not leave your beloved woman from your unloved wife. How can I call and die from love at 2 am, run away to look for strawberries in the middle of winter, and again leave for the hated house.

Thirdly, you yourself missed the point. The phrase "do not mess with a married man" can be taken not only in a moral context, but also literally, emphasizing the words "do not mess." That is, do not get involved, do not give in and do not give up. No, you can even sleep, but all your behavior should say that you are free from your feelings for him and do not require anything. In general, you need a serious relationship, so with him it is, a couple of times. He is married. And then, at the very peak of feelings, there is a chance that he will “forge while it is hot” and collect his things in order to move to you. But usually this does not happen, because you have different goals - you have to take away from your wife, and he has everything to leave as it is. Therefore, a man preventively hangs noodles on his ears about love and how he divorces so that the girl melts and surrenders to him. Well, then you can no longer strain. Bird in the cage. The bird faithfully waits for his calls and visits and plaintively asks (or violently demands) to stay with her forever. And why should he? She had surrendered, and was not going anywhere.

Fourth, we must remember that men are not women. Even if he doesn’t love his wife, married on the fly, disappointed in her ... - tell me that they usually say there - this does not mean that love is a priority for him. Yes, he does not love his wife, but loves you. But this is not a reason for him to divorce. These are women running, dropping slippers, to their beloved. In men, this is far from every time. Family by family, love by love. Flies from cutlets separately. If this were not so, he would not live with his unloved wife. Not for the sake of children, nor on its own.

Fifthly, a man does not begin a relationship with his mistress in order to change her to a wife. The role of the mistress is to remain a bond on the side, and not to take a place nearby. But what about those who leave their wives and get married a second time, you ask? They do not go to lovers. They leave the wife. Feel the difference? If the girl was initially in the status of a mistress, then she should stay there. Unless something happened in his family that made him leave. But it will be THERE, a decision made as a result of his relationship with his wife, and not because of love for his mistress. And those who leave - leave immediately. There is not a single circumstance that could prevent a man from leaving the family if he decided to do so. If such circumstances still exist, these are fairy tales for lovers. If it’s difficult for a man to leave the friend zone, then it’s almost impossible for a woman to leave the role of a lover.

Sixth, take the information literally, without subtext and hidden meaning. If a man says that you understand him the way your wife never tried (“Margot, you are the only woman who understands me” (c)), then this means exactly what he said - that you have a rare understanding. And the point. This does not mean that he is ill with his wife, that he does not love her and wants to be with you. This means one wave. And that’s all. The same with the phrase "I was not so good with anyone", "I have never been so happy." Yes, it’s really just super with you. But this does not mean anything but this.

And what about love? Love, about which he speaks with breath and proves with all his actions (except for a divorce khe-khe), the love that makes him write crazy sms and jealous of every pillar? I have already written several times before - love can be very different, and everyone has their own attitude to this feeling. Not to mention the fact that a person can think that he loves, but actually make mistakes, taking love, passion, love, a strong passion for love.

And now I want to invite you to play detectives and to determine the facts, how will the relationship between a man and his mistress end. The story is taken from an anonymous forum. So - a man and a woman met, both married, both have children. And became lovers. A man speaks of unearthly love, that he does not love his wife and never loved, lives for the sake of a child. But all the same, he will leave his wife and even set specific dates - when he will finish building a country house, which he builds specifically for his daughter and writes down on
her name. He spends a lot of time with his mistress, stays at night, answers the phone at any time, he can call at night. He talks with his wife at his mistress and sharply replies that everything is over between them and that she is behind. She doesn’t sleep with her wife - as evidence she shows her lover an SMS from her: “Is it really so comfortable for you without sex? can we resume relations or at least sleep together? ”As a result, the lover divorced her husband, went to the apartment, which the lover rents, and waits for him to deal with his affairs and divorce. In the comments, absolutely everyone is convinced that the man will not get divorced. Moreover, the wife does not even know about her lover. Explain why?

If a man decided to leave, he leaves. No circumstances will stop him. Especially as stupid as building a house. What prevents him from building this house, living with his mistress? Absolutely nothing. How does living under the same roof with my wife speed up its construction?
A man sees that his beloved woman has left her husband, i.e. for his sake left her family and child. And he, in turn, did not.
The fact that he spends a lot of time with his mistress and even sleeps with her and celebrates the holidays is not an indicator. This is an indicator of a crisis in relations with his wife. But not that he will divorce this wife.
Read carefully SMS from your wife - “is it really comfortable for you without sex?” This clearly shows that the wife is not aware of the presence of a lover. Otherwise, she would have known that her husband has sex. And everything is quite comfortable for him.
Judging by the story, the man is really all very bad in the family. Nevertheless, he is in no hurry to get a divorce. Therefore, the family for him is something else than love with his wife. So his love for his mistress will not be a reason for leaving.
In the comments, the lover wrote that she was already in the hospital with a nervous breakdown. That is, it turns out that for a man, life with an unloved wife, their poor relationship and lack of sex is still a priority than the peace of mind of a lover.

And such stories are darkness. You say - but many go from wives to mistresses. Of course they leave. Gather things and leave. And all issues are already being decided from a new place of housing. Or pull, pull, but leave only when the wives have already kicked out. Well, or the third option - men, in whom everything is easy - easily created a family, abandoned her and went to her lover. And then just as easily went on. The second wives of such men very often write "9 years lived in perfect harmony, and now he is gone." Because for the majority of at least some responsible men, the loss of a family (whatever the relationship with his wife) is a drama, a nuisance or just “hemorrhoids” (depending on the level of the man himself) and they do everything to avoid this. And not even because he is such an exemplary family man - this is a question of his personal comfort. And this comfort is that everything remains unchanged.

So, you firmly decided - I want to leave my wife. We will talk about the reasons a little later, and now we will highlight the most important points. If you remember them, then parting will be the least painful for each side. You may even be able to maintain human relationships.

Be consistent

The worst thing that can happen in the process of parting is constant throwing. That husband leaves, then returns, begs forgiveness from his wife on his knees, and then again recalls what prompted him to take this step. These throwings slowly but surely burn love out of a woman’s heart, plaguing her and making her nervous and irritable.

Therefore, be consistent. If you decide to leave, then carefully think over all the circumstances, how you will live, how to arrange your life and other little things. And only then announce your departure.

Talk to yourself first and make that decision. If you are sure that it is necessary to leave or stay together it is impossible, then leave and do not torment yourself or her.

How to build a conversation

Perhaps your wife feels that your behavior has changed, you are moving away from her. Yet suspicion is one thing, and conversation is another. And even in this case, for her this news will be a shock.

And it may be that she didn’t even think about such a development of events. This is possible for various reasons: she was brought up in such conditions that it is impossible to get divorced, but she needs to save the marriage with all her might, she is too focused on working or domestic problems, which does not notice anything around. In any case, she will have questions, the answers to which you must prepare in advance.

Why?

This is the first question that arises in a similar situation. First answer yourself. Situations are different, but in some it turns out that essentially nothing will change, just the woman next to you will change. Is it worth it to leave in such a situation, you decide. It is hoped that in another place it will be better, but this hope is weak.

I'm leaving because I have no strength

“I'm leaving because I can't handle it. For six months now our child has been seriously ill. And it’s not a fact that he’ll recover, ”Nara’s husband said about this when he was tired of their wanderings in hospitals. Their son was born with multiple pathologies of the internal organs. Initially, doctors did not give him chances, they said that he himself could not breathe. But for six months now, Misha, together with his mother, has been fighting for his life. He breathes on his own, has already undergone 4 operations and has a long way to go. But her husband decided that it was too difficult for him. He and his wife decided that when Misha did the main operation and his prospects for a full life became more clear, the husband would leave.

Now you can start clapping your tongue or discussing the moral principles of Nara’s husband (yes, in this story we did not even have a fictitious name), but the fact remains: in most families with a seriously ill child, husbands leave. Because it’s easier not to watch all this horror.

She is better than you, she is amazing!

Or do you have a lover who is in all respects better than his wife. If the wife is annoyed, disheveled and tired, then her lover is always affectionate and affable, tidy and friendly. If the house is a mess, which children inflict with incredibly fast speed, then a mistress who does not have her own children is always clean and comfortable. And in everything she is better than his wife.

“You are an amazing mother, the best mother in the world. You are a wonderful designer, it is very beautiful at our place. You're beautiful. But I don’t want to live with you, ”said Andrei Yule and left her for Alice. Very quickly, Andrei and Alice got married and had a baby. But at some point Andrei saw that Alice and Julia had too much in common: there was a mess at home, the toys were in the most amazing places, and Alice did not always have enough time to look after herself, as before.

We don’t know all the circumstances of Andrei’s life with Julia, but at first glance it seems that he returned to where he fled. And Julia’s child has grown up and no longer scatters toys, but helps her mother create and maintain comfort at home.

She is pregnant ...

A man must marry a woman who is expecting a child from him. And it doesn’t matter if he is already married. Or the wife is expecting a baby. It happens that men leave their pregnant wife for a pregnant mistress. The situation, of course, is extremely slippery and unpleasant. Here, every man must answer honestly: to whom does he owe more? Legal spouse or lover?

And the most annoying thing is that this situation could have been prevented. But we will not talk about this this time. You yourself probably know everything.

I'm sick of…

Continue the phrase. What exactly are you tired of? There are problems at work, and the wife not only does not support, but only demands, demands and demands? Is she constantly unhappy with everything, even unhappy that she herself is unhappy?

State clearly on points. And tell her. If you are sure that if you just talk to her and discuss these points, then she will not change anyway, that is, it makes sense to leave. But if you have never tried to discuss with her what does not suit you, then maybe it is too early to leave? If the feelings are still alive and you value your wife, then give a chance to both of you. Talk, discuss. Give you a trial period, for example, 1 month. If nothing changes in a month, then you are leaving, and if there is at least a small positive trend, then you will continue to work on your relationship.

We are too different

You are an owl, I am an early bird, I love fried potatoes, and for you this is the main enemy of a slim figure. I would have a beer in the evening with friends, and you drag me to the theater. And shopping with you in my liver got stuck! We are all too different!

Have you always been different, or just now you have become so? Surely before that, you just tried to fit together, but then that desire disappeared. The fact that you are different is not a reason for breaking up relations, but a consequence of deeper contradictions or accumulated fatigue. When you find the true cause of the problems, you can decide whether the conversation with your spouse will help or there’s nothing to talk about. Nevertheless, the reason for the divorce "did not agree on the characters" is quite common.

What didn’t suit you?

This is another question that usually arises in a woman at the beginning of a conversation. The answer to it follows from the reasons that prompted you to leave. Consider literally what you tell your wife so that the emotions that inevitably arise in the conversation do not prevent you from saying everything you wanted.

This question is asked, rather, from the feeling of hopelessness that has arisen and an answer is not always required. This is a rhetorical question that is asked somewhere in infinity, in the universe. Therefore, when it came to him, it was time to stop talking and leave. Next will be only emotions.

Are you really leaving?

Of course, it’s hard for her to believe that this is happening. And even harder to accept. Therefore, when the conversation comes to such issues, there’s nothing to talk about. Yes, you are leaving. Yes, right now. And now leave now. Take only what you need, take the rest of the stuff later. Now give her time to think through everything she heard herself, draw conclusions and comprehend what happened. Do not call or write, even if you are worried. Moreover, if you are worried about her, then why leave. Or are you not driven by concern, but guilt? Do not confuse these feelings.

Safety precautions

When you start a conversation, it is difficult to predict in advance how it will go and how it will end. You know your wife and imagine what she is capable of. Therefore, consider:

when will you talk? She must be calm and balanced at this moment;
will you talk A restaurant or any other public place is the most inappropriate for this place. The fewer witnesses, the better and easier;
where do you start The first phrase is very important, it will make her understand that the conversation is ahead;
Do not start such a conversation in the bedroom. Whatever happens to you, the bedroom is a place of rest and enjoyment;
the kitchen is also not worth talking, especially if your wife is impulsive and abrupt. There are too many breaking objects;
are you ready right now to take a minimum of things with you and leave?
It is you who must leave, because you are the initiator of the break. Even if you divide this apartment during a divorce, you should still give it time to comprehend what is happening in silence.

When you start a conversation, keep yourself in control and do not let emotions get the better of you. Be prepared for the fact that she can not cope with her. Therefore, whatever she says, you:

do not insult;
do not mention her mother or any other relatives in the conversation, they have nothing to do with it;
do not say what you were not going to say;
do not give in to her emotions, most likely, she wants to hurt you as painfully as possible;
do not forget why you started the conversation, even if it puts pressure on pity;
speak now and only now, it’s not worth returning to this conversation in the future. So either say it now, or forget that you were going to say it;
stand your ground to the end, be consistent;
in no case do not open your hands, you never know what she says on emotions.

Of course, the parting process cannot be called painless, but you can do it less painful.

Family life is a complex and delicate matter. After all, in fact, two people met who, in fact, have different perceptions of life positions, different levels of thinking, different life values \u200b\u200band goals. Unfortunately, during the meeting period, this is not so noticeable, but when there is already a full-fledged family, it turns out that adjusting to each other is very, very difficult. The main goal of the newlyweds is to immediately try to find mutual understanding, some succeed, others do not.

For each woman, romantic relationships proceed in different ways, and at one point, they can all end. The man collects things and leaves. Of course, before committing such an act, many men think about how to leave their wife, without causing her pain. Many women are sure that taking it off so surely doesn’t happen, and if they’re still in love, they simply don’t see what changes have happened in the life of a loved one. And if the husband declares: “I want to leave my wife”, there are reasons for this. But if, nevertheless, a decision is made, it is necessary to do it as tactfully as possible.

How to part

Reconsider your decision. Take a piece of paper and write about why you decided to do this. Remember, when you made the decision to marry this woman, for some reason you did it. What happened, changed the attitude towards her? Or you, therefore, want to give her the opportunity to change her attitude towards you. And if you are firm in your decision, then you need to prepare for parting, because such relations cannot have a future.
Try to talk tactfully with your wife and tell her that you are tired and would like to rest from each other, at the same time, indicate a term, for example six months. Also tell her that all this time you will help financially and morally. This does not hurt her pride so much. A woman in this case will receive such news less painfully. At the same time, one must speak about it firmly, and that this is not discussed. And after a while, if your decision does not change, invite her to leave everything as it is. After all, a woman will also have time to rethink everything, and then your relationship can go to another level. Everyone will live their own lives.
If you increasingly began to have the thought: how to leave your wife, you need to be able to talk to her correctly and tactfully. Psychologists recommend talking about this in neutral territory. It is necessary to stock up on good arguments and be prepared for any reaction of the wife. After all, who else but you know your wife best of all. Her reaction can also be predictable, so you need to carefully prepare for such a conversation.
If a man decided to leave his pregnant wife, then this situation is not easy to resolve. First you need to think it over. After all, deciding to have a baby, you were happy, imagine this innocent baby, maybe you will change your mind. But if you do not even allow such a thought, tell her about it honestly and directly. Assure her that you will not leave her alone and will constantly help, but do not leave her hope at the same time. Conduct the conversation correctly and well, do not try to arouse guilt in yourself, try to maintain friendly relations. Everyone has the right to their decision.

Spouses break up for various reasons: someone meets another person on his life path, who, it seems to him, suits him better, someone becomes a burden to the second half. In any case, it is extremely important to part with a positive note, because for many years the person you want to leave from has been the closest for you. Do not cause him severe suffering and pain. Today we propose to talk about from the wife, and to do so in order to maintain a warm human relationship.

Keep the sequence

Psychologists say: the most disgusting and terrible thing that can happen in the process of parting is endless throwing. The husband then leaves, then returns again, begs forgiveness on his knees, and then again recalls what prompted him to take this difficult step. These throwings slowly but surely destroy love in a woman’s heart, plague her, make her irritable, nervous and aggressive. That is why it is very important to be consistent. If you decide to leave the family, consider all the circumstances: how and where you will live, how to arrange your life. Only then announce your departure.

How to build a conversation

It is likely that your spouse feels good changes in your behavior and mood. She notices that you are moving away from her. However, suspicion is one thing, and frank conversation is another. Even if she suspected anything, the news of your departure would be a shock to her. By the way, it is likely that your spouse never thought about this scenario. This can be for a variety of reasons: for example, she was brought up so that it is impossible to destroy a family, that marriage should be saved by all means. Probably, she is simply focused on everyday problems, professional activities and does not notice what is happening around. In any case, she will have a number of questions, the answers to which you must find in advance. How to leave your wife painlessly?

First of all, remember: ignoring the calls and messages of the second half, taking things out while she is not at home is the lot of cowards. You should carefully prepare for the conversation, choose the right time and place, in no case raise your voice and make complaints. Calm and soft, but firm, you must voice your decision. Psychologists say: criticizing a wife and telling her about what she is bad is possible only if you hope to maintain a relationship with her. If you are determined to leave, this is completely useless.

Causes

How to get away from the wife? Family relations experts say: the very first question your woman will have is why. That is why you need to answer it yourself. Situations can be very different, but it often turns out that essentially nothing will change, just the person who will be next to you will change. Should I leave in such a situation? Of course, it is up to you to decide. You can hope that in another place with another woman you will feel better, but this hope is illusive and weak.

Lack of strength

Very often, family psychologists are faced with the fact that the husband leaves the family due to the fact that he simply can not cope with any difficulties. For example, very often divorces occur in families with sick children. Of course, one can talk for a long time about the moral principles of such men, but the fact remains that in most families where there is a seriously ill baby, husbands decide how to leave their wife. Because it’s easier for them not to watch the suffering of their loved ones.

She is better than you!

Why with your spouse? Perhaps he has a mistress, who, in his opinion, is better than his wife in all respects. It often happens that a wife looks annoyed, tired and disheveled, while her lover is always neat, affectionate and friendly. In addition, the house can be a mess, with cosmic speed induced by children, and a mistress who has no children in the house is always clean and comfortable. She seems to be better than his wife in everything. True, having freed himself from the bonds of marriage with a bored wife and married a mistress, a man may notice that these young ladies have a lot in common: a mess appears at home after the birth of a child, a new woman does not always have enough time to look after herself.

When thinking about how to leave his wife for a mistress, a man must learn to distinguish love from passion and temptation. The fact is that true love is rational, not blind. She is born of care, does not allow selfishness. Therefore, you need to turn on your head and understand: is a new relationship a temptation in the form of a beautiful and attractive woman, a game of hormones, or is it sincere feelings? Before such an important decision it is necessary to assume what lies ahead for you, whether the passion of betrayal is worth it.

A cheating wife

But what if new feelings were spinning not for you, but for your wife? Psychologists call cheating on the wife one of the most painful blows to self-esteem, which can fall on a man in his entire life. To forget that your beloved led an intimate life with another man is almost impossible. Of course, it’s worth trying to maintain a relationship, but what if it’s not possible? How to get away from a cheated wife?

Specialists in the field of family relations recommend first to understand why the spouse went to the left. Offer to talk with her, create an enabling environment for this. Tell us about your decision not to save the marriage after the incident as softly and correctly as possible. Do not shout at her, make claims, humiliate and insult. It is important to understand: you are not the only person who has been betrayed, you can even learn something useful from this. If a woman has changed, most likely she did not love you, or she loved, but her feelings have passed. You have a chance to become happy again, but with a different person. Thank fate, put aside sad thoughts. Fate in the form of an unfaithful wife sends you a test with which you will surely be able to cope.

I'm sick of

How to decide to leave your wife if something does not suit you? Try to determine what exactly you are unhappy with. Maybe you have a lot of problems at work, and the second half not only does not support you, but also constantly requires something? Maybe she is unhappy with everything, even the fact that she herself is unhappy? State everything very clearly, point by point. And tell your wife.

In the event that you are sure that just talk and discuss these points, but nothing will change, it makes sense to leave. However, if you have never discussed with your wife what you are tired of or what does not suit you, maybe it is too early to leave? If your feelings are alive, if you value your relationship with your wife, try to give a chance to you two. Discuss everything, set a trial period, for example, 1-2 months. If after this time nothing changes, then you should start thinking about how to leave your wife. But if at least a small positive trend is noted, just continue to work on your relationship.

"We are too different"

Often it is this phrase that causes the gap. He is an owl, she is an early bird, he loves french fries, and for her this is one of the main enemies of a slim figure. He wants to have a beer in the evening with friends or to be in the garage, she drags him to the theater. They are too different! Psychologists recommend thinking: have you always been different or have you become like that just now? It is likely that before you thought about how to leave your wife, you tried to find compromises with each other, make concessions, and then such a desire disappeared. The fact that people are different is not a reason for breaking up relations. Rather, it can be called the result of deep internal contradictions or accumulated fatigue. What to do in such a situation? Try to find the true cause of the problem. Only after that you will be able to decide whether it makes sense to talk with your wife or not.

"What didn’t suit you?"

Very often a woman asks her spouse this question. That is why psychologists recommend that you prepare in advance and think through what you will say in response so that the emotions that will certainly arise during the conversation do not stop you from saying whatever you want. Most often this question is asked from the feeling of hopelessness that appears in the heart of a woman from whom you want to leave. That is why, when it comes to him, you should stop talking and leave. Next will be only emotions.

"Are you really leaving?"

Of course, your soulmate is hard to believe that this is actually happening. And even harder to accept all this. That is why, after this question, one should not try to explain something or reason about something. Yes, you are leaving. Yes, this decision was not easy for you, but you made it. Yes, you are leaving now. Immediately after these words, you should take everything you need (you will pick up the rest of things later) and leave. Let your wife think it over, draw conclusions, comprehend what happened. Do not write or call, even if you are worried. After all, if you were worried sincerely, then you would hardly have left. Do not confuse anxiety with guilt.

What to do if there are children in the family?

Often a man wonders how to leave his wife if there is a child. First of all, it is important to understand that it is not worth preserving a family for the sake of a child, because the atmosphere in the house affects everyone, including the baby. If you cannot live with your spouse, you not only suffer yourself and make your chosen one suffer, but also bring a lot of emotions to your child, turning his life into hell.

Of course, it is very difficult to leave a family with a child, but it should be understood that people part as a man and a woman, and not as a mother and father. Divorce is not a reason to abandon a child, his upbringing and care for him. You will have to worry about building relationships with your ex-wife so that you both participate in raising children.

Safety precautions

When you start a conversation about divorce, it is difficult to predict in advance how it will go and how it will end. Only you know your wife, you can imagine what actions she is capable of. That is why it is extremely important to consider where exactly you will be talking.

Least of all for such a conversation are restaurants and other public places. The fewer witnesses, the easier. It is important to determine what words you start with. It is the first phrase that should make it clear to the woman that there will be a difficult, serious conversation. It is the man who must leave, because he is the initiator of the gap. Even if subsequently, during a divorce, you will share housing, you should give your woman time to comprehend what is happening alone with herself. Do not let emotions get the better of you, be prepared for tears and tantrums, but do not succumb to the woman's emotions and the insulting words that she says, because, most likely, she will try to hurt you as painfully as possible. In addition, a woman can begin to put pressure on pity, so stand your ground to the end and be consistent, since you have made such a decision. Of course, the separation process cannot be called absolutely painless, but you can smooth out the sharp corners.