How to understand what you need to leave. How to understand that parting with a man was a mistake

In this article, I will tell you when you need to part with a girl (in what cases).

There are ups and downs in relations, there are quarrels, and conflicts, and misunderstandings, and conflicts of views and interests, etc., etc., but all this can be calmly solved if desired.

In fact, everyone has the same thing ... I mean that you should not leave (destroy) the relationship, after the first disagreement, conflict, quarrel, misunderstanding and other things like that.

There is such an expression: break \u003d not build. Think about it somehow.

But! If you understand that these relations of yours \u003d have no future, everything is bad, and then even worse, if you are running out, you no longer have the strength, you endure, suffer, force yourself, etc. \u003d then you need something change. Below, I will provide you with some good reasons for breaking up with a girl ...

There are no feelings at all (love)

Emotions (feelings, love) pass for everyone and always. It is only a matter of time. And all because love is feelings, these are emotions. And feelings (emotions) pass absolutely always and for everyone (this is only a matter of time). And if you are not ready for this from the beginning \u003d you will never have a serious relationship, a family.

I mean, if you had a relationship, for a long time, 5-10 years \u003d this is a process (that everything has died down) is absolutely normal. Here we need work on relationships \u003d refreshing relationships, learning to love again, and much more. There is no need to run away and leave immediately, when you have a 5-10 year old past, you have joint children, a family, etc. and everything is basically good. Do you understand?

It’s another matter if you don’t have common children, life together, being, you haven’t met for so long (half a year, a year), and there is absolutely no love (feelings), you understand that you’re not happy anymore, as before, absolutely nothing you feel for this person, and you don’t know what you are doing with her at all \u003d that’s what it is ... you don’t need to continue to suffer, endure, suffer, force yourself \u003d you need to disperse and move on.

Treason (betrayal)

There are no comments.

If a girl cheated on you at least once \u003d it’s pointless to build something serious with her.

Relations is a transaction in which two people participate: a man and a woman.

In this transaction, everyone has their own responsibilities and rights.

The primary duty of a woman is to be faithful to a man. Fidelity is the main female quality No. 1. This is necessary in order for the man to be sure that the children will be from him, that he will invest resources (money, effort, time, energy) in his genetic line, in his offspring, and not the genetic line of her lover. Do you understand? If a woman has changed \u003d she violated the terms of the transaction. Confidence in her will never be. Not with anything. And never. Do you understand?

It’s impossible to forgive (truly) such. Even if you try, every time it will overtake and overtake you, you will remember it and remember it, you will constantly doubt it, you will remember it, there will be quarrels, scandals, abuse and much more.

It’s better not to pull the cat by the tail, but to finish everything at once. Dot.

You are not happy / everything is bad / it does not suit you / there is no work on relationships and other things ...

If your girlfriend does not make you happy, you are not happy with her \u003d why do you need her?

Why bother with her. Why suffer with it and suffer yourself. Why is all this necessary when relationships are needed in order to make each other stronger, better, happier. What for? Just take it and think it over.

If you are not happy with her, you have eternal quarrels, scandals, cursing, conflicts, in short, if you understand that in these your relations there is more bad than good \u003d either you need to change something together, work on these relations so that everyone it was OK (so that each one would be happy with each other, and in general, everything was fine in the relationship) OR they just need to be finished. That's all.

Long separation (distance)

There can be no talk of any development of relations if you are not near each other for a long time. If you do not work together in a relationship. Relationships \u003d then constant work.

If this work is not \u003d there is no strong, happy, harmonious, etc. relationship.

As I mentioned just above, in any long-term relationship \u003d all love, emotions, passion, etc. \u003d in any case, even in full relations (when next to each other), they will gradually cool down. As before, as at the beginning of a relationship, it never will be. And you need to be prepared for this.

Now imagine that in SOFTLY SPEAKING \u003d IN NOT COMPLETE RELATIONS. When there are no partners next to each other, they are at a distance. It will happen much faster ... love will pass, because there is no interaction with each other at all, no: C * ksa. Love Weasels. Tenderness. Romantic. Surprises Ave.

Therefore, long separation cannot be allowed. You do not have illusions that everything will be ok.

You need to either converge and work with each other \u003d or diverges and not suffer from garbage.

You don’t suit each other at all / it doesn’t suit you

You really love with * ks \u003d she is not very. You are active \u003d she is not. How can I be together at all? Constantly raping each other? Is quarreling over this? Make scandals, swear, and so on?

You are sensitive \u003d and want to be loved, show feelings for you, but she’s not very, she doesn’t know how to show her feelings, from the outside it may seem "insensibility (maybe it is)."

You’re energetic, active, you’re bumblebbbbbb \u003d but she’s not, she’s passive, well ...

You have one thing in life \u003d she has a completely different one.

You develop, change, become better \u003d she is not, lies on the couch, does nothing, does not strive for anything, does not change, does not improve, etc. etc. you are for sports, healthy lifestyle, etc. and she has a drink, hang out ..

Well, in short. Soulmate \u003d you feel next to yourself \u003d everything is ok. If you really do not fit each other \u003d at all \u003d if there are no points of contact \u003d then there is no relationship here, just nothing.

Many of the components in a relationship can be worked together with each other \u003d but if YOU ARE DIFFERENT \u003d you really do not fit each other \u003d then there is, unfortunately, no long-term relationship. Will not work.

If a person doesn’t suit you \u003d not what you want to see next to you \u003d is the point to continue something?

If you understand that nothing will work out with this girl in the long run (big risks) ...

A man should be farsighted.

If you understand (see) \u003d that nothing really works out with this girl \u003d then there’s no point in continuing something further \u003d no. If it makes no sense \u003d you know yourself ... Well, for example, she is still small, 20 years old, there, for example, she has zero experience, knows nothing, doesn’t know, hasn’t walked up yet, young, emotional, curious, you were the first that is, if you are an experienced man, you understand that with such a young lady, with such categories, with youngsters, virgins, etc., relationships cannot be built.

Because nothing good will come of it.

Relations is a very, very serious topic again. Relations should be built only between men and women. I talked about all this in more detail in the main articles:,

Or there are still some other reasons (which you see), well, in general, this (you know better).

There are many reasons \u003d I voiced, in my opinion, the most significant (main) ones that came to my mind.

With uv, the administrator.

If there is a suspicion that the seams have come apart, you should determine this as soon as possible. The internal seams very rarely diverge and it is impossible to notice this. A similar condition is determined by the doctor during the examination and similar sutures, usually, are not touched. Mostly susceptible to this process. This occurs due to the act of defecation in case of constipation, sudden movements, if the woman is wrong and abruptly sat down.

If the sutures are separated the next day after childbirth, in this case, repeated sutures are applied. But if time has passed and the sutures have parted when the edges of the wound have already healed, the doctor decides whether to reapply the sutures. If a couple of stitches are sewn, there is no threat to life and health, then the seams usually do not touch. When the seam has completely spread, a second operation is prescribed, in which the wound edges are excised, and the sutures are re-applied.

What to do if the seams are open?

In the hospital, doctors examine a woman every day, and quickly take the necessary measures if the seams begin to diverge. If, after discharge from the maternity hospital, it seems to the woman that the sutures have come apart, she should immediately go to the antenatal clinic, and will make an examination and inform the plan of further treatment.

After childbirth, the seams in the first couple of days can cause pain, then the pain should go away. External seams can bother for a long time, especially if you do not follow the mode. Naturally, if pain occurs when trying to sit down, however, if it hurts in a calm state, this can be a signal of the inflammatory process. You can’t endure pain, you should always consult a doctor.

There are no direct indicators indicating that the seam has diverged, except for blood discharge. Therefore, you should not engage in introspection and for various suspicions (a change in pain and other sensations), be sure to consult a doctor.

If you are on this page, most likely you have some doubts about the future of your relationship. Doubts can be present in any relationship, and this is normal, but it is possible that your hunches say that the time has come to part. Finishing a relationship is always difficult, even if you know that doing so is right. First of all, you need to be sure that you are making the right decision, and for this you need to check if there are signs in your relationship that everything is going wrong. In this article, we will explain how to do this.

Steps

Recognize your feelings

Think about whether there is something in the partner that you do not want to accept. Do you want him has changed for you? If so, remember that under such conditions it will be fair if the partner also expects changes from you. You might also think about what you want to change. Say out loud: "I believe that he is a complete slob." Now ask yourself, what are the advantages in the partner outweigh this disadvantage? If there are significant advantages in a relationship, try to accept the person for who he is and do not try to change him.

If the lack is significant, you cannot live with him, and the person does not want to change anything, it is quite possible that the time has come to end the relationship.
Maybe you and your partner have different religious beliefs. If your partner does not want to accept your faith, and this is important for you, you need to seriously reflect on the future of this relationship.

Think about your own problems. Perhaps you will suddenly realize that you do not want to leave, because you are afraid to be left alone with some internal problems, for example, with the fear of being abandoned, but these fears will be in any way. For example, they cheated on you in the past, and you want to part with a new person only because you are afraid to become attached and open up, and then again feel pain. This is not the best reason for parting. You need to understand your problems, not run away from them.
- If it seems to you that your personal problems are interfering with your relationship, talk to your partner about them so that together you can find out if you can find a solution.
Think about whether you support this relationship just because you don’t want to offend your partner. If you are inclined to think about the needs of other people, then it is entirely possible that you really do not want this relationship, but are afraid to tell your partner that it is all over. You need to understand that you are not doing him any good, remaining with him simply out of pity. Read about how to not be a person who seeks to please everyone around.
- If you know that in these relations there is no prospect for you, it is best to finish them as soon as possible, because this will give your partner a chance to recover faster after the break and find a more suitable pair for him.
- It’s best to end your relationship in calm times, but that doesn’t mean you need to put it off because of birthdays, weddings, Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve with your family and other events that can make the break awkward. All this can drag on indefinitely, and there is no ideal time for a break, although, of course, you can find a more or less suitable moment.
Think about whether you’re continuing a relationship just because you’re afraid of being alone. Are you worried that you might not have a couple? Often people remain in a relationship because they do not want to be alone, but to be with someone to use it is dishonest not only in relation to this person, but also in themselves, because this does not allow you to develop as individuals. Learn to live without a couple and be optimistic.

Be prepared to accept the fact that you just stopped loving your partner or he stopped loving you. No one knows why we fall in love with some people and are indifferent to others. Sometimes there is simply no attraction, and sometimes feelings appear only in one in a pair. This happens. It hurts, but there is no one's fault. You can’t be forced to love yourself. Perhaps at some point you were madly in love with a partner, but how long did it last? The sooner you understand your feelings, the faster you can do something with the situation.
Consider saving this relationship. If you have thought enough about whether to stay together or better to leave, you should pay attention to the good sides of the relationship. There are signs that indicate the integrity of the relationship, even if you need to seriously work on them:
- You have common values \u200b\u200band beliefs, spiritual and moral attitudes.
- You trust each other. You know that your partner is always on your side, and believe that he will strive for harmony in union with you.
- Problems have fallen upon you that do not allow you to think about the situation. Health problems, money, psychological trauma, addiction, and depression can stain everything in dark colors. Give time to smoke to dissipate and try to be friends until things get better.
- You are in a vicious circle where negative behavior causes a negative reaction and, as a result, negative behavior. Break the circle by learning how to control your reaction, declaring a truce or giving your partner time to cope with their negative emotions.
- You tend to run away from obligations at the first sign of trouble. Take a break and learn to be friends. Remember what you liked about your partner, and behave as if you care about what will happen in the end. It is important for you to understand whether you can overcome difficulties together.
- You gradually drifted away and suddenly realized that you were living with a stranger. This often happens due to neglect of each other, so work on it: talk, listen, spend time and think about whether you will be able to rekindle love.

Talk with close friends and relatives. Find out how they relate to your relationship. But remember, the decision is yours.
Write down the pros and cons of maintaining a relationship. If there are more cons, the relationship is better to complete.
Whoever decides to part, respect this decision. If your boyfriend leaves you only because you do not meet his expectations, and you try to please him all the time, this must be put to an end. Thank him for understanding how important it is to devote time to yourself rather than trying to please another person. Take criticism with a smile and move on, keeping pleasant memories in your memory.

For some, painful experiences become exactly what their relationship is based on.
Blaming the partner, we lose sight of the fact that the reason for the confusion of feelings, perhaps in ourselves.
Parting should not be an argument in a quarrel, but the result of a balanced decision.

She hardly tolerates his presence, but continues to live with him. He can no longer listen to her reproaches, but does not abandon her. According to the Federal State Statistics Service, two marriages account for an average of one divorce. But there is no data on those who remain in pairs, although everything pushes them to part.

Probably, each of us can remember our acquaintances, about whom everyone around is just thinking: “Well, why doesn’t he (she) leave?” Emptiness, longing, misunderstanding - for many years endure a similar situation before deciding and collecting things.

The hidden benefits of a relationship

In a pair we get support and understanding, learn to resolve conflicts and find compromises, grow and develop internally. Communicating with a partner, we better recognize ourselves, heal our childhood wounds and feel safe. But what holds us back if the couple no longer has dialogue and the joy of being together?

Some of us value the image of the family they managed to create. Most modern men and women perceive separation as the collapse of their ideal of life, because we want to believe that marriage is “once and for all life”. According to a survey conducted by Tiburon Research in 2011, 79% of those who are married and 57% of those who are divorced agree with this.

“When I had to tell my parents that my wife and I were getting a divorce, I couldn’t force myself to look into my father’s eyes,” said 29-year-old Sergey. “I knew he would blame me.” From his point of view, a man is not worthy to be called a man if he could not save his family. ”

If we live with the idea of \u200b\u200bourselves as a victim, we will most likely stay in a pair where we play this role

“The longer the couple remains unified, the more difficult it is to break the“ family wrapper, ”says family psychotherapist Inna Hamitova. - Holds the common memory and the feeling that when parting, part of life will be crossed out, depreciated. Often added to this is the fear of the future. But sometimes it’s the painful experiences of the partners that turn out to be a cement, cementing relations. ”

“Life is suffering”, “A woman must endure everything, if only the children have a father”, “Better a bad family than no” - the family psychotherapist gives examples of beliefs that do not allow breaking the connection, even when she became painful. “Partners remain in the union if this union supports their image of themselves and the world,” Inna Khamitova summarizes. “For example, if we live with the idea of \u200b\u200bourselves as a victim, we will most likely stay in a couple where we play this role.”

Fear of emptiness

45-year-old Tatyana recalls how for almost 8 years she did not dare to part with her husband. “He kept squealing: look at yourself, who needs you like that? And I believed that ... ”- Tatyana recalls. Some of us can hardly stand not only loneliness, but even the thought of it. They are afraid to be faced with a deep, disturbing emptiness.

“The hardest thing is to cope with it for those who in childhood did not receive enough love or were abandoned by one of the parents,” says psychologist Marise Vayan. - Left alone, they feel unloved, which means they are bad and relive their past suffering. They are ready to endure much - boredom, aggression, contempt - if only to avoid this. "

The inevitable result is a decrease in self-esteem. A vicious circle arises: the lower self-esteem, the less faith in one’s strength and the more difficult it is to part. If such a dysfunctional partnership lasts long, self-esteem falls. All this is reflected in sexual relations: they either do not bring pleasure, or are generally absent.

The partners develop the habit of not allowing themselves to reflect on what is really happening with them

“Such couples often consist of a woman who is afraid of her desire, and a man who is afraid of the woman’s desire,” continues Maryse Wyane. - Indeed, to agree to do without sex, you need two. Two - to agree to be unhappy together ... "

Partners develop a habit of suppressing their feelings and not allow themselves to reflect on what is really happening to them. So it was with 54-year-old Ivan, who left home after 20 years of marriage.

“For the last ten years I have been busy with something all the time, trying not to think,” says Ivan. - We met with friends, helped children, worked like crazy - and all these ten years have been unhappy, I don’t know why. I didn’t even want to ask myself this question, because he would drag a chain of others along with him. But my friends were worried, seeing that I was depressed, that I was spleen and annoyed. I did not listen to them until one of them asked directly what was stopping me from leaving. I did not find what to answer him. And left".

“My mother-in-law set me free”

Inna, 44 years old, anesthetist

“I grew up without a father and got married pretty early on to a good, decent man in every respect. For fifteen years in a row I did everything as expected: I raised two sons, kept a house, I had a favorite job, an attentive husband, and good friends. And we got along well with my mother-in-law, she helped me a lot: advised, supported, sat with my grandchildren.

And at the same time, deep down I knew that I married more by calculation than by love: I just wanted to always have protection, a reliable family. I had no attraction to my husband. Sensuality completely disappeared from our lives, but I always had explanations: children, worries, fatigue. But still, sometimes such a melancholy rolled over that I wanted to drop everything and leave. I immersed myself in work - and it became easier. I thought: I won’t do it with my own hands to ruin my house, so cozy, so dear!

And then the mother-in-law died. Some balance was disturbed, and this pushed me "to the exit." Once I met a childhood friend, we got into a conversation, started remembering ... They recalled a classmate - my first love. I carefully asked if she knew where he was now. “Do you want his coordinates?” She immediately responded.

More than a month passed before I decided to call. But when we met, we could no longer tear ourselves apart ... As a result, I divorced. But so far I am asking myself: would I have had the courage to call, and then divorce my husband, if my mother-in-law was alive, this strong woman who "kept" our family? I am not sure about that".

The gap is like an accusation

There are many couples in which everyone blames the other, not realizing that the reason for the confusion of feelings is in himself. The partner becomes a scapegoat, the object of aggression. Love is intertwined with hatred, and the couple closes in their microcosm, not even trying to find a way out.

“Two are fighting for family happiness, but they are not aware that each of them has their own idea of \u200b\u200bhow this happiness should be,” Inna Khamitova describes a typical situation. - It seems that the other deliberately interferes and spoils everything. Mutual accusations begin, and in this struggle what else could have been destroyed. The gap becomes another way to shout to another: “It's all your fault!” In this case, the divorce does not solve problems, but gives rise to new ones.

“Parting always hurts,” the gestalt therapist Daniil Khlomov emphasizes. “We know this and therefore sometimes use it as the last argument in a dispute - in a fit of emotion or out of a desire to punish another for the suffering that, we believe, is what he caused us.” But no matter how we injure another, it will not heal our own wounds. ”

Perhaps it would be more useful for us to pause and ask ourselves: “What if something is wrong with me?” Some couples experience a whole series of breaks that are accompanied by violent emotions each time. “Each of these partners has such a high threshold of sensitivity that they are simply unable to perceive sadness or joy - only suffering or delight,” Inna Khamitova notes. “To feel alive, they need not just events, but blows of fate.” They need strong emotions, otherwise life seems fake. "

Open eyes

37-year-old Natalya was convinced that she had no right to leave an unemployed friend with whom they had lived for five years, because without her he would be gone. “When the bouts of his bad mood became unbearable, I ran away,” recalls Natalya. - And then she returned again to help him gain the recognition that he deserved, but still could not get.

“You live as if you were closing your eyes,” my closest friend once told me sadly. And at that moment everything turned upside down: I suddenly saw that my feelings, thoughts, plans, desires do not matter even to me myself - only what happens to him seems important. It really scared me! Only then did I leave seriously. ”

Often a break is gradually prepared for months, sometimes even for years, until some event, meeting, phrase or stranger's eye, like a flash, makes us see the situation in a new way. And what seemed impossible becomes clear: it's time to leave.

“Why am I staying if I have not been happy for a long time?” - this is the question that you first need to ask yourself, ”Inna Khamitova is sure. “To ask him is to go part of the way.” And the next step can be carried out with the help of a psychotherapist: it is very difficult to single-handedly recognize the unconscious arguments that made us forget about ourselves for many years. ”

Start over

“Staying in pairs is no longer a matter of life and death,” emphasizes Daniil Khlomov. - For centuries, leaving the family, the woman was doomed to dishonor, and the man left his wife and children without a breadwinner. Nowadays, the choice between saving and divorcing is not so dramatic.

Women, like men, are now economically independent. And the types of alliances have become much more diverse. Some practice open marriage or something that resembles a business partnership or friendship. Partnerships can include more than two participants: if this suits everyone, then why not? The challenge is to find the type of relationship that suits us. ”

No one is obligated to remain in a relationship that is not satisfying. But you must be able to accurately choose the moment of separation, so as not to hate each other.

“For someone who does not dare to break off relations, although he realizes that they have not satisfied him for a long time, I advise you not to delay too long so as not to be poisoned by the venom of malice,” says Marise Vayan. - Some devalue everything that they have experienced together, hoping in this way to save themselves from suffering and regrets. But such a strategy makes it difficult to objectively analyze the causes of the gap and draw lessons. "

Each family is a project, uniting two to achieve specific goals. And when they are achieved, the project ends

If someone thinks that with the help of parting he will be able to "clear" of the past, cease to be who he was before, and start everything from a new sheet, then this is a very romantic look, and he is far from reality. “Parting does not mean that all of our common past will disappear,” continues Daniil Khlomov. “I know the habits of this person, I know how to talk with him, - and this knowledge will not go anywhere, it will always be with me.”

In the ideal case, parting means increasing the distance between partners, and not a painful gap. Even if love and the desire to stay together pass, you can maintain respect for yourself and your former partner. After all, something united us once, for some reason we needed each other and lived together part of our life.

Sometimes a couple can surprise you. “Anton and I got married right after graduation and divorced when the children grew up,” recalls 58-year-old Marina. - We each engaged in our own lives, worked, made novels. And then we met to talk ... and suddenly found that we again want to be together. Our grandchildren were at our second wedding! ”

“Each family is a project, uniting two to achieve certain goals,” concludes the gestalt therapist Daniil Khlomov. “And when they are achieved, the project is completed.” Life in a couple comes to an end when the unspoken agreement that lies at its core expires. But nothing prevents us from agreeing on the terms of the new union.

Divorce ... for trial

Before finally breaking up, some couples try a preliminary separation. What is it - an opportunity to see the situation more clearly or a peculiar take-off to jump better?

“If it’s always painful to part, then it’s important to weigh which pain is stronger: from the presence of a person or from his absence,” says the gestalt therapist Daniil Khlomov. “But while we are together, it is difficult for us to clearly understand what our feelings will be when we find ourselves apart.” A test breakup lets you know this. And then a divorce, if it does take place, will be a balanced decision. ”

Family psychotherapist Inna Khamitova agrees that a pause will allow one to distance oneself from the conflict, weigh everything more calmly, and think to what extent the partners are attached to each other.

“If we leave, slamming the door and blaming the other for all sins, we take with us a huge baggage of negative emotions. And we are not able to start a new life: the burden of unmanaged feelings will pull back, ”warns Inna Khamitova. “It’s useful to simply disperse in different directions, literally move away from each other, in the sense of physical distance, to understand yourself, think about a partner without an excess of feelings and decide with cold heads whether the couple has prospects.”

Frederick Begbeder (52) concluded that love has lived for three years, and even wrote a book on this subject. “In love, the situation becomes truly alarming when a couple moves from porn to babble. It becomes noticeable very quickly: even voices break for several months of marriage. The courageous macho with a loud bass begins to lisp, like a baby on her mother’s lap. A fatal woman with a hoarse voice turns into a syrupy girl, confusing her husband with a kitten. Our love was destroyed by intonations, ”he wrote. And what other signs that it is time to leave, you need to pay attention, PEOPLETALK will tell.

You have to ask permission

This, of course, is nice when you respect the desires and needs of your partner and try to consult with him. But if this goes from the category of “compromise” to something like “can I go to a party with friends?”, It’s time to think - you have the right to do what you want, and you don’t have to ask permission from your faithful.

You're always on your nerves

You spend all your energy not on what pleases you, but on how to make it pleasant for him. And you constantly argue with him and swear. A happy relationship should bring joy, and not become the cause of early gray hair and constant trips to the pharmacy for a sedative.

You can't be yourself

99% of people on a first date try to seem better than they really are. Then they are liberated and fall in love with each other already for what they are. But if you have to constantly monitor yourself and pretend for someone, it's time to make legs. If you are not loved the way you are, then you do not deserve it.

You don't talk

Talking with a partner and discussing your problems, rather than putting them off the bat, is the key to a happy relationship. Are you trying by all means to avoid any serious conversations? Perhaps you are afraid of the conversation itself, and its consequences. Talk to him once and decide what you want from these relationships - continue them or put an end to it.

It constantly makes you feel bad

The partner must support his soul mate in everything. If this does not happen and you constantly feel self-doubt, then you need to get out of these relationships. After some time, you will find someone to help you open up.

He does not listen to you

He is not interested in your work, he doesn’t care about problems at home or at school, and in principle he doesn’t remember what you say. I asked for earrings for my birthday - I got a bracelet. She said that you love flowers - you can’t wait for a bouquet. Well what is it? Your opinion does not bother him, so why are you still with him?

You often quarrel

What can I say: some people confuse constant abuse with passion. Remember once and for all: it is not. If not a day goes by without a quarrel, then you cannot get used to each other.

You often think about the past, not about the future.

After a year of relationships, you remember how good it was at the beginning, and again and again you lose your first dates in your head, but you don’t want to think about the future? So you just don’t see him with your partner.

You have to hide something

You hide checks from beauty salons, shops and restaurants so as not to upset your boyfriend - he cries all the time that you spend too much? It's simple: he is trying to control you, but this does not suit you.

You don't trust him

You never know what to expect from him. He will go to a bar with friends and return: sober, drunk, drunk in the insole, will not return at all (underline what is necessary). You do not trust him, and this is perhaps the main sign that the relationship is over.

Are you thinking about breaking up ...

... and it brings you relief. If you understand that without him you would be better, why are you still with him?

Anastasia, 26

I met with a young man for two years, and everything seemed to be normal, he even talked about the wedding. But I often found myself thinking that I had to constantly adapt to it, to compromise, and in the end I just stopped feeling free. In the end, I realized that I’m just going to burn in this relationship, and broke up with him.