Why should a woman be able to wait? Ability to wait. Actively

Our great-great-grandmothers knew how to wait for their beloved husband for a long time and with a high concentration of strength. They put all their faith, prayer, intent and calmness into this process. Waiting for a faithful wife kept her alive and protected her husband away from home. Can you wait the same way?

Ability to wait. Actively.

It is naturally easy for a woman to wait. The nine-month expectation of a baby alone already speaks in favor of this fact. And how do we know how to prepare gifts for our dear people in advance and wait for the holiday for six months to please our loved ones? It is incomprehensible to the mind, but it is in us women. If we did not know how to wait, there would be no marriage proposal on HIS initiative, HIS exploits, marital fidelity and long-awaited children in the family. Rather, all this would have been, but ... somehow crumpled, ugly, doubtful ...

However, in the modern world, where charming young ladies take up with great enthusiasm the management of corporations, weapons and politics, for all those areas where you have to show strength, leadership, will and pressure, it is already difficult to find families where exactly the groom proposed to the bride. and the baby is born after happy months of waiting. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for couples in which a woman is the initiator of a bold acquaintance, a quick relationship, their development and a logical continuation (or, in this case, completion ?!) in the form of a wedding. How easily the ladies now know how to invite a gentleman to a dance, to bed and to a conjugal union. And, unfortunately, when pregnancy comes, often this amazing period turns for such women into endless days, burdened inappropriately by the emerging "third", when you no longer run to a party and "drown" with friends in cigarette smoke and alcohol (however , a delicate situation does not stop expectant mothers from addictions - what a miracle of waiting can we talk about when all plans for life have gone derailed!).

It's a pity, but a woman's loyalty is also becoming a rarity. However, the conversation is separate with fidelity. Many women have big imbalances here. After the first or second date, if he managed to please him, she is ready to provide him with so-called early loyalty, even if there was no talk of any serious relationship. But a couple of years after visiting the registry office, during his business trip, she encounters a painful feeling of loneliness and ... no chastity belt saves her.

And yet, since you are reading this newsletter, my beloved friend, I assume you are interested in femininity and your own development. And today I propose to talk about a woman's ability to wait. It's very feminine.
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Why should a woman be able to wait? In order to build your life in the most favorable way, your happy female destiny and not break the firewood that I talked about a few paragraphs above.

Waiting for the baby. It's not just those nine months. This is also an internal readiness to become a mother even before conception. Sometimes for a long time. Families who try to conceive, but for some reason do not succeed right away, experience fear, pain, despair, and disappointment. And the moral situation in the family directly depends on how a woman behaves in this situation. To wait from month to month with more hope and faith, of course, not sitting with folded arms. Actively wait. By the way, the egg matures (this is where its activity ends) and is waiting for its sperm))). It is he who is striving for it at a very fast pace. And not the other way around.

Wait for your man. The same one. When it is HE who appears in life. Again, actively wait. Give a signal and give him the opportunity to enter your reality. The main thing here is not to make a false start, as they say in sports. Do not run to him too quickly, do not grab him by the collar with the words "you are mine!"))). Mani to yourself, captivate, enchant, but make sure that it IS HIM you were waiting for and wait for decisive actions on his part. He is a hunter, not you.

Wait for how he will reveal himself to you. After all, a wise woman knows that there is no need to rush things. Freeze for a while, do not make sudden attempts if you have just started dating. Observe, look closely, evaluate. It's no secret that we behave differently with different people. Men too. With one woman he is a rogue, with the other a worthy knight, with the third a mama's son, or neither fish nor meat. If you don't recognize now what kind of pretzel he can give out, I'm afraid in the future you may not like a whole layer of his character traits at all.

All your life you will wait for his reaction. Advice, support, answer to a question asked, help, expressions of love and continuation of your ideas. You know that a woman in a pair creates an image of a goal, and a man materializes this image. The woman sets the direction, the man, in turn, moves there. This is normal, natural and wonderful. You just give a signal for HIS action and turn on your ability to wait. It would seem, what to expect? She asked - let him do it right away! But the fact is that men are slower to swing psychologically. It is we, the fair sex, who make the decision “from today to become a vegetarian” - and that's it, we have already given up meat and are promoting the ideas of a healthy lifestyle everywhere. And in men, in the head, everything is arranged differently. He hears your hint and call. And ... he leaves to think to himself. And he doesn’t need a few minutes. For a man to mature internally, to come close to the idea, he may need days, sometimes even weeks and months. We are different. Therefore, a woman should be able to wait while a man thinks, while HER ideas hatch in HIS consciousness. A woman as a farmer. The land needs to be cultivated, and then plant the desired crop at a certain time, not later, not earlier, and wait. Naturally, you can take some other actions: get rid of pests, weed, huddle, loosen, water. But when the most important action has already been taken - planting, by and large it remains only to wait for the harvest.

Waiting for your husband from hunting a mammoth or from a long voyage, or simply from work in the evenings. And so that, having lingered at the meeting for three hours and returning home after a hard day at work, the angry fury would not meet her husband at home, the ability to wait will come in handy for his wife. To be able to occupy oneself and create such an atmosphere in the house so that the breadwinner would have no doubts: they were waiting for him in this warm, cozy nest, his day and efforts were not in vain, he is needed here, he is always welcome, here you can relax and gain strength.

Note, my charming friend, waiting is not a circumstance of inactivity. Even if you can’t do anything (there are different situations in life), even if you didn’t lift a finger in your expectation, it’s still a very active state. This is a state of trust in the world and in yourself. Well, of course, you can take various actions. Why not? Sometimes it is even very necessary.

With a woman who does not know how to wait, a man has oh how hard it is. The fact is that he has a dynamic nature, while a woman's is more static, balanced. And if a woman, instead of calm waiting, begins to fuss, panic, take a bunch of unnecessary actions, tear her hair out and excite the space in other ways, the husband loses the strength on his part to take anything adequate. Whatever the question is about. Making money, solving troubles or some other family moments. The husband draws his spiritual strength precisely from his wife, from his helper, from the woman for whom, in fact, he is doing all this - earning, settling, protecting and saving. Therefore, no matter how difficult the situation turns out to be, calm down and remember the experience of women, our ancestors, who, with the power of their faith, protected their husbands who were far from home. You will definitely succeed.
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So how do you learn to wait?

If this is the expectation of pleasant moments, then understand one thing: the meeting or event would not be so sweet if it were not for the need to wait. Therefore, enjoy every minute of the state in which you are now. Whether it is waiting for the Love of your whole life or your future baby or just an hour of meeting with your beloved.

If the event is not pleasant, then it helps a lot
- prayer to those who believe. Or meditation. Or you can be distracted by some activity. No wonder in the old days a woman did needlework while she was waiting for her beloved from distant lands, where he went to save his native land or to get food or to show other heroism :-);
- the ability to be grateful for what is already there. When you begin to list what you had and what you have now, you realize that the Universe is supportive, since it gave you health, arms, legs, parents, husband, a roof over your head and food. She has given a lot and is already preparing something more for you. Bigger and better.
- to realize what mistakes in thinking or actions could lead to an unpleasant situation and forced waiting. Draw conclusions and, if possible, take a different path. This is WAIT ACTIVELY.

If internal anxiety arises, then it is advisable to track down why exactly? Look inside yourself and understand what are you afraid of? Why are you nervous? Or maybe there are some other feelings involved? Anger? Confusion? Outbursts of indignation? Irritation? It is in this direction that you need to dig to get to the solution. By eradicating or at least realizing the problem, it will be easier to translate the expectation into a pleasant sensation. For example, one of my clients, Lyudmila, could not endure "just dating" for more than five weeks, she began to demand certainty from the gentleman - "will you marry me or what?" Of course, the men ran away from her, sparkling with their heels, because the nervousness in her behavior betrayed Luda with her head. The solution, like Luda's problem, was on the surface. She was afraid that no one needed her, and even this not the best and not the most suitable man for her. And they will definitely leave her, and this is very painful. After all, Luda has already faced this situation. Mom gave the girl to her grandmother all her childhood, and she herself tried to arrange her personal life. Therefore, Luda seemed to attract frivolous young people and immediately provoke situations confirming her scenario “they will leave me, no one needs me”. The solution was found quickly. Having worked with the awareness of this issue and with past programs, Luda adopted a new formula: “I am happy in any case. Whether abandoned or not, I retain self-esteem and self-love. " After removing the severity of the perception of the situation, things in Lyudmila's personal life went well. By the way, if you notice that the problems laid down by your mother still slow you down and interfere with your full-fledged life, then welcome to the course "Daughters-Mothers: A New Line of Femininity", for which an enrollment has recently opened.
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Waiting makes acceptance easier. Ability to accept any outcome in advance.

Pay attention, to wait is not the same as to endure when you, gritting your teeth, endure everything, but inwardly you are indignant and protest.

Grow plants or any flowers. This is, firstly and at least, very favorable for the female energy, and secondly, it is a good teaching demonstration to your subconscious mind that ACTIVE expectation bears pleasant fruits - be it a beautiful flower or something else.

The ability to wait is a very feminine quality. And it in no way cancels your emotionality, spontaneity, impulsiveness and immediacy. Yes, we are such multifaceted, mysterious creatures, women - those who have both expectation and impulsiveness extremely harmoniously combined!

Any dream includes anticipation. Expectation, hope, faith, confidence, the ability to rely on the Higher Forces and on yourself. So dream for health, and the more, the better! In my experience, dreams come true, but what do you say, friend?

Once again about needlework. I know that modern young ladies are rather skeptical about embroidery, lace and other products of man-made miracles. Why create something when you can buy anything? That is how it is, but needlework has not only an aesthetic-productive side, but also a meditative one. You create your own space. You conquer chaos for yourself, from which you create something absolutely singular and unique with your imagination, love and measured actions. Yours. You take a lot of threads of different shades, estimate the pattern and do a couple of dozen stitches a day. And after a while, your world begins to see through - that which you imagined and methodically created. At the same time, you waited and took action, enjoyed the process, and was focused on results. Isn't it the best practice to learn to wait beautifully, like a woman?

I wish you, my captivating friend, the most pleasant moments of waiting. And so that all dreams come true!

With love,
Anastasia Shulgina,
psychologist in the field of femininity development, coach,

One must be able to wait and not in the sense of simply having the patience to experience the state of expectation, although this is also important. But in addition, while waiting, you need to be able to maintain such an attitude in yourself, the result of which would be getting what you want in the end.

If we consider the expectation from this point of view, then we can say that it should not be passive, but active. But this activity is manifested not in some actions, but in some kind of inner work on oneself.

Waiting states can actually be very different. We can jump up and down with impatience, be on edge, continually return to the idea that we need it by all means. We can be afraid that nothing will work out, or self-confidently and even condescendingly think that everything will happen exactly the way we need it. We can feel weakness and apathy and, surrendering to the will of the waves, give up everything, they say, as it will be, so it will be.

Equilibrium of expectation

As in any business, extremes here do not lead to anything good. Excessive emotional pressure, like a decline in tone, does not help expectations, but only harms, especially when it comes to something really important to us, and therefore, by definition, causes a rather pronounced reaction on our part.

B. Berezovsky in his brochure "How to make big money", wrote just about this - many simply lose their nerves, and because of this they cannot conduct major transactions. That is why you need to be able to switch your attention to something else - so as not to expose an already shaky and still uncertain situation to additional loosening by means of your own emotions - fears or enthusiasm. The most necessary thing in a state of expectation is to remain confidently calm. But this is what is most difficult at the same time.

Changing the state, we change the outcome of the case

We doubt it, of course. We are worried. We are afraid. We are nervous. At the same time, it sometimes seems to us that this cannot in any way affect the outcome of the case, because it depends on some completely different, objective factors. But in fact, everything depends only on our state. There is no straight line of fate along which we go and get what is predetermined in advance. More precisely, you can, of course, move like this, but this is not the only option.

There is a multilevel space through which we move with ease, just changing our mood. So we are worried and afraid, and we are heading towards collapse at full steam. But as soon as we change our state, calm down, begin to feel our strength and confidence, we are immediately thrown from our line to another level and brought to a successful resolution of the situation.

The easiest way is to succumb to despair and despondency. But we get much better results if we find the strength to cope with ourselves. At least we strive for this. At least we understand how important this is. For this, you need to be able to wait and not just wait, but wait in the right state, knowing how to trust yourself and life. And then, in general, everything happens correctly.

You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.

It can be difficult to wait for what you want. You never know whether you will have to wait a long time or the desired is already near. Life is unpredictable, and living with this unpredictability is extremely difficult if you are constantly told that something happens just because you want it. Of course, none of this is true. A person does not always understand what exactly he wants; the future cannot be controlled; the time does not always meet our expectations. However, if you know exactly what you want, be patient and persistent, you can make time work for you.

Steps

How to understand what you want and how to get what you want

Understand what you need. It can be anything: a new job, a romantic or friendship, an interesting trip, or just a new camera. Decide exactly what you want and why.

• Sounds simple, but this is the hardest part. You may find it difficult to define your goals or choose between two options. Be honest with yourself. Think about what you like and how you can become the person you want.
• If you can't make a choice, consider the pros and cons of both options. You can write these lists on paper to make it easier for you.
• Think about the reasons for wanting, consider other options, compare them and consider whether your desire will help you achieve a big goal. For example, if you are looking to buy a camera because you want to become a professional photographer, consider other options for cameras in this price range and consider if what you really want will be the best choice on the way to your goal.

1. Think about your goals. To make it easier for you to achieve what you want, your goals must meet a number of criteria. This will allow you to be practical and avoid unnecessary assumptions. Your goals must meet the following requirements:

   Try your best to get what you want. Consider all possible ways to achieve the goal, choose the most suitable path and follow it. Remember, there are always several ways to get what you want. The methods that worked for others may not work for you, and vice versa.

   • For example, if you want to become a journalist, find out where you can get a related education and the cost of training. Try moonlighting and volunteering so you have more training material. Meet people who work in the field and ask them for advice.

2. Don't cheat. Impatience may cause you to decide that you are not getting what you need because you are not cunning enough. It's important to remember that honesty always pays off. Cheaters get what they want faster, but they can lose it just as quickly.

   • For example, you decide to conquer a girl by appropriating other people's achievements and skills. If you start dating her, she will very quickly realize that you are a completely different person.

How to learn to wait

1. Learn to use your time to your advantage. When the waiting becomes unbearable, time seems to be the enemy. However, this is the best resource you can take advantage of. Manage your time wisely and spend it on activities that will help you achieve your goals.

   • We cannot influence the passage of time, but we can arrange for this time. Create a schedule, start coming up with short-term goals and set deadlines, and it will be easier for you to manage your time. Time will become your ally.
   • Not all time should be devoted to working on goals. You should also take breaks on time. If you don't give yourself a chance to rest, you will start to get irritated and lose strength.

2. be patient . Patience is an art that requires skill and training. To be able to wait means to understand that time is unpredictable and that we may not always get what we want right away. You also need to understand that some things can be influenced, while others cannot.

   • Impatience is a consequence of powerlessness and inability to change the course of events. To feel like the master of your life, you need to understand that there are things that are influenced primarily by your own decisions.
   • For example, to get a job as a journalist, you sent out hundreds of resumes and received no response. However, in order not to waste time in vain, you can start writing articles for university publications or attend special workshops. So the waiting time will not be so painful.
   • Make time for sports and relaxation exercises. It will help you relieve stress and teach you patience.

3. Remember that sometimes the lack of progress is helpful too. It is also necessary to be in a state of inactivity. Recuperation is necessary to get back to business in good shape.

   • How we get what we want is often unpredictable. Likewise, inaction does not always come as planned. For example, if you suddenly find yourself unemployed, don't treat it as a waste of time and don't feel guilty. You can spend the free time on what you like and enjoy your vacation.

4. Be grateful for what you have. It may seem to you that since you are not getting what you want, your life is useless. Think about what you have already achieved and you will see that your life has changed in unexpected ways more than once. What you now take for granted, you have gained through patience and perseverance.

   Do something all the time. You should always have something interesting ahead of you. Any activity will brighten up the wait, be it cleaning or meeting with a friend. If you focus on your goal, it will not help you achieve it. You will only lose strength and health.

   • Remember to distract yourself, but the process should not become obsessive-compulsive. Washing the floor for half a day to forget that you are out of work can have an equally destructive effect on your well-being and health.

5. Be optimistic. A positive outlook on the world will contribute to your patience. Optimism pushes forward: energy and desire to act helps to get what you want faster.

   • Even in this case, you should remember your past achievements, and then it will be much easier to wait.

How to reconsider your goals

1. Understand why things are not going according to plan and fix the situation. Failure to get what you want may indicate that the goal is achievable, but the wrong method was chosen. Be honest with yourself and try to objectively think about whether you did everything you could.

   Consider other ways to reach your goal. You must be ready to rethink your strategy and change direction. Sometimes a person gets hung up on a certain method and does not see that it does not give the desired results. Learn to adapt and look at the situation objectively. This will enable you to reach your goals faster. Remember, the end result is important, not the way it is achieved.

   • For example, if the 16 hours you spent every day sending out your resume didn't get you the job, there is surely a way to be more productive during that time. Try to find new connections and use them.

2. Think about why you want what you want. If you've been waiting for a long time, you should remember why you even started doing this. Often a person tries so hard that he forgets why he is doing it.

   • Ask yourself if reaching a goal has become a matter of principle for you. If so, analyze your ambition and think about the reasons for the ambition, not the goal itself.

3. Consider other goals. Perhaps not being able to get what you want is a sign that you want the impossible. Suppressing ambition is difficult, but if you want what you can't get, you will constantly feel frustrated and dissatisfied with yourself.

   • This does not mean that you should give up everything. For example, if you are unable to get the job you want, take a look at related professions. You may like them too.

4. Remember that having what you want and being happy are two different things. It may seem that happiness is measurable, like wealth or fame: the more money you have, the richer you are, the more people know you, the more famous you are. Happiness, however, is an attitude, not quantity or possession. Unhappiness and dissatisfaction create a vicious circle: no matter how much you get, you will always have little.

Do I need to wait for the very person who is destined for you by fate? Or maybe the train has already left? Definitely not gone and it's worth the wait! And we'll tell you why.

Love arises, between two people, instantly. It doesn't need time, cause and effect. Feelings flare up in an instant, as soon as the gazes met, and nothing else. Someone may disagree with this, but, I suppose, all the feelings that arose in two people, not at the same time - anything, but not true love.

Consider the hidden motives behind destructive behavior in relationships

You will say that you know a large number of couples who fell in love with each other, after a while, when you got to know each other better. Or maybe you yourself are in such a relationship? You can talk about women who once fell deeply in love, and their men felt the same, only after a few years. Unfortunately, such feelings cannot be called sincere love; rather, they are secondary sensations, such as comfort, convenience, addiction, fear of loneliness in old age and so on.

A special energy, chemistry between two people appears instantly, as soon as the two meet. Of course, no one says that everything is accurate and will most likely "grow together" in a relationship, that they will live happily ever after... It’s a pity, but it’s not always the case. And not because two are not made for each other. Here is a completely different story: the fact is that a lot depends on endurance, patience and willpower, because all relationships need to be developed for a long time and diligently to true love, and, alas, not every couple succeeds. But the Universe, God, Fate, call it whatever you like, but some higher powers - they definitely gave these two a chance to create something sublime and wonderful. And this happens exactly at the very moment when their gaze first met, and a sense of unity arose. This always happens suddenly and instantly. And both understand and feel it. The feeling that you are "kindred spirits" will not appear years later, if it did not arise at the moment of the first meeting.

If in the first month of the relationship, something incomprehensible begins between you, for example: "forgot about the meeting", "did not call back", "exchanged for friends" and other nonsense - do not even dream of an ideal relationship. Take my word for it - that very chemistry between you definitely did not happen. And this means only one thing - you met the wrong person... Do not waste yourself on relationships that will not bring joy to you or your so-called partner.

When some kind of inexplicable chemistry happens between two people, they try their best to protect the relationship and develop it only for the better. One will not disappear from the life of another like that suddenly, by writing an SMS, or not even deigning to call. There will be no false promises, betrayal, lies and deceit. Both partners will always take care of each other. Such couples, even in their thoughts, are close by, feeling at a distance the mood and well-being of each other. Real sincerity will appear. This is what it means to feel chemistry, love at first sight, call it what you want - but, again, this happens instantly and does not just go away.

Our main problem

Do you know what it is? We find ourselves next to the wrong ones, for one simple reason - we do not know how to wait. We do not have the patience to really wait for the person next to whom the heart is ready to jump out of the chest. We get involved into a toxic relationship, where either we do not value a person, without experiencing real high feelings for him, or, on the contrary, do not value us. This is constantly happening around us, and only because we cannot wait a little longer.

But there are other people as well. These people really waited for their happiness. I say happiness because they have everything they need for this, namely, a loved one. A real person, whom they could not only wait, but also not lose. And it costs a lot of effort and patience. Such people, at any age, rejoice at every minute of life, they meet with a smile on their face every rise and fall, and all because next to them is their person. The person with whom they felt this happiness instantly, at first sight, at the first word, at the first touch. And they still feel it.

No matter how much time has passed, such couples look with love at each other, as if at the first meeting, because they were able to hold on, they were able to withstand and create something beautiful. They have created an alliance that will never crack under any pretext. And believe me, such a person with whom it is not scary either into fire, or into water, or, as they say, into copper pipes, is worth the wait! And you will definitely wait for it. Don't waste yourself on those with whom you are not on the way... We wish you happiness and long life with a person who will fill your heart with real, sincere love. And may this chemistry never leave you. Good luck in love, and don't forget to press the buttons and